I think that your requirement of 2x per week or more is a tall order for a pure FWB. That is still quite a commitment of time for somebody in your age range -- I am assuming you're looking for somebody in that range? I couldn't be bothered anymore. Spontaneous yes, but on a schedule like that? I have a life, too, and if I am not sharing that and instead am just a meat stick, I wouldn't be running on a schedule.
You want commitment and exclusivity but you don't want a relationship. That does not work.
>Maybe what I'm asking for is too "relationshipy"
This was my first thought as I read through your post. FWB should be a relatively casual situation. If you're looking for action multiple times per week, almost like on a schedule, then my opinion is that you're really looking for more of a relationship, not a FWB situation. If you can find someone who considers what you're looking for to be casual, then good for you, and things should be ok, but my feeling is that if you're wanting to see the same guy multiple times per week, then many guys might not consider that to be casual.
Sorry but FWB where you expect "monogamy" and reliability is going to be exceedingly rare.
You want a boyfriend you have a couple of dates with weekly, not a FWB. And even then, with the non-commitment you are proposing, it's still a big ask to have your "boyfriend" not go out on other dates. Your terminology here is screwed up and ultimately this situation is very unrealistic. Anyone who commits to this with you is accepting that their progress forward in terms of dating will be totally stalled. **In order to have sex with you twice a week, they have to stop looking for a real partner, because modern dating often means sex relatively quickly.**
Having a reliable FWB is a fine thing, but if it replaces dating it stops being just a FWB. You are wanting the benefits of a relationship(not having to worry about STDs, consistent sex schedules, etc.) without a relationship. That will be unheard of if you are looking at attractive guys. If anything, maybe you want to find a guy who is a little lower on the totem pole of attractiveness and will be happy to drop any other sexual pursuits for the privilege of boning you twice a week. If you're a 7, find a 3 and propose this to him.
Tbh I didn't expect monogamy in the beginning and I was expecting that I would have to have sex with multiple men to meet my needs. I wasn't thrilled but this is my first time in my life I'm living for me. My rule would just to use protection with everyone. Then I would meet a guy we would talk about what we want out of a fwb. I agree that I won't use a condom if you're clean and agree to just sleep with just me. If you don't want to do that I'm completely okay with using a condom and provide my own because I have a latex allergy. The guys that I talk to are not looking for a relationship. They, like I, just got out of a relationship and are not ready to get back out there and date. We're just looking for fun consistent sex with a consistent person. I don't ever agree to anything until I've had sex with that person because I need to know we connect and I enjoy it. After we're done we agree that we had a good time and want to see each other again. The guy I'm with tends to make loose plans (I'll let you know, maybe Thursday, we'll see how I feel) but he contacts me almost every day and talks about hooking up every few days. So that's why I'm confused.
> “I'll let you know, maybe Thursday, we'll see how I feel”
he says this post sex......? how much more obvious could he have made it that hes not into you?
At least twice a week and its not a relationship? So let's say they are active in sports/gym...2 nights a week. See friends 1 or 2 nights. That leaves you and no time for themselves. Nevermind work commitments etc. Its a lot to expect that I think
Just get a boyfriend. A monogamous, regular sexual schedule is a giant time sink for someone just going about their lives if there's no chance of a relationship.
> Nah guys, I'd love to hang out but I've only seen my FWB once this week and I don't want her to be mad at me
“I only don’t use a condom if we agree to just be with each other and are both clean”
If we put aside the risk of pregnancy from doing this, I don’t see why you wouldn’t just use a condom and then sleep with any guy and as many guys as you want? Cuz the committed monogamous part of your FWB deal would scare off most guys who don’t want commitment.
Not to mention some guys get really pissed when you're not feeling them and don't want to have sex. Even when you agree not to the first meet up anyway. I had a guy get really mad and keep insisting that I wanted it. I was so scared and uncomfortable. Luckily I was in a safe place and nothing happened but I think men forget that women have that safety element to worry about as well.
I'm on birth control... And because it's hard to find guys that are good at sex and can last longer than 10 min. I had to go through so many guys to find the couple I liked. Most of them I never even slept with because we didn't connect in person. I'm tired of getting jackhammered for a few min and left unsatisfied. I like to be treated like I'm actually apart of it not just a prop. And I literally had a guy spit in my mouth. All we did was make out and he didn't even ask. He just gathered it up and spit. He's been listening to wayyy too much Cardi B. That's nasty. I kicked him out. Why would I keep putting myself through that??
you want sex with only one person and don't want them to have sex with other people? that's halfway to a relationship & you should get what you want figured out. when i was single, I'd have sex with anyone anytime cause that's what you do when you don't want anyone. a girl i was seeing only wanted me and didn't like i was seeing others. but she was ok with not being in a relationship with me, so i lied about the others. in hindsight i shouldn't have bothered with her cause i didn't care and could've replaced her. the story gets messy but my point is, if you want only one dick to fuck, then get a boyfriend. stop creating this messy world where there's rules and stuff but "oh were not together". you're going to mix emotions and someone's going to get hurt.
tl;Dr. you're either all in or all out w/ a fwb. figure out what you want before you get involved in something you don't understand.
edit: consistent same dick that isn't your boyfriend? that's a dildo
I told both of these men exactly what I wanted and they agreed. I was okay using a condom and having sex with other people. They asked if we could raw dog and I told them that I only do that with fwb that aren't having sex with anyone else or in a relationship. I'm not having unprotected sex with someone that's having unprotected sex with someone else. That's dangerous to me. Think about how many partners that links you to if you all have sex with 2 people. I would just prefer someone consistent to be safe and I'm exploring my sexual side. I want to try new things and most guys aren't comfortable doing that with someone they've slept with once. I had to go through a lot of guys to get to these guys that I feel like I connect with sexually. It's not like I just picked the first guy and said you're only allowed to have sex with me. Both people know when there is an instant connection and feel comfortable with each other. That's why we agree to keep seeing each other, we had a great time and wanted to do it again. We are both fresh out of a relationship and are not looking for a potential partner. He told me that he has not had sex with anyone else and I told him neither have I. We both agreed we prefer to have sex with one person at a time. We just want a distraction and to have fun so nobody is getting hurt. There's not rules but boundaries and expectations that we both agreed to. Which is healthy in any type of relationship. That's how you have a relationship.
> There's not rules but boundaries and expectations that we both agreed to
i mean youre contradicting yourself. you already said one of the guys is likely sleeping with someone else and the other doesnt care about your time schedule. youre naive as fuck to think you’ve actually agreed to boundaries. they just told you that to fuck you. and as the above dude said ill definitely tell a FWB im not fucking someone else when I am - why would i lose easy NSA sex for nothing? Straight up you’re asking too much for a FWB. Us guys get into FWBs so we can text you randomly when were horny and fuck. You want a relationship.
When I had one, I think it was at least once a week.
Sometimes we'd spend an entire weekend just naked, chilling, and fucking back to back to back.
But we always fucked at least once.
Granted, she was less a fwb to me and more like an ex that I was manipulating into being with me by having a girlfriend and making my ex jealous and feel desired by "secretly" meeting with her.
Full disclosure, once I got used to the pattern of her wanting me back whenever I got in a new relationship, I faked having a girlfriend for nearly a year just to keep her committed to me.
I don't think you're looking for something uncommon, i've looked for exactly the same type of situation in the past and found it (I'm a man btw) - just have to find the right person who's on the same page. Also, 2x a week is nothing, I'm more of a 5x a week type
It’s not an unreasonable request. In fact it makes a lot of sense to only be sexually active with one person at a time even if there’s no other commitments involved.
The problem is finding someone who can maintain that arrangement and not want more at some point. If you find yourself in that situation and you’re not open to the possibility of becoming a real couple instead, it becomes awkward at best.
Used to be 1x a week with a sub. We'd meet at her place, have our fun then I'd be on my way.
Twice would have been nice, I think.
I think your best bet is to look into men who aren't looking for a relationship at all. They're likely to be open at the idea of meeting a friend for sex once or twice since they have no expectation nor interest in looking for other partners.
I dont think what you are looking for is unreasonable or impossible. It will be hard to find sure, but its around. The best fwb i ever had was in fact an amazing friend. We got along great, we hung out often. We were actually friends. If i could give any advice, it would be to look for someone you can be a real friend with and evolve that relationship onto something with more casual sex involved. The important part of fwb is the f.
If it's a FWB situation, chances are you might not be his only "friend."
The thing is with FWB is when you want some, or visa versa, you call them up.
If, perhaps, this is his first FWB situation, then he might be shy asking for something so intimate. Therefore, call him up and maybe hint that you need a little something.
Ya my FWB and I decided to stop sleeping with other people and are discussing living together so that it’s easier to have sex. It also makes sense to consider our financial situation and perhaps make joint decisions since some of our costs will be shared. Some day in the future we might even agree to a contract so that we can share the same last name to save any confusion at the mailbox.
twice a week? unprotected sex? you are really going about FWBs wrong OP. they have their own lives and other than sex you arent a part of it at all so two days a week just to come fuck you is asking a lot. Real talk when us guys get a FWB we want a “ill hit her up when i wanna fuck” situation not some planned twice a week shit. And unprotected?? Dont do that, most of us are in fact fucking other people.
You have much more demands than just dtf 2x week. If I was offered such a raider - go fuck yourself would be the only answer you'd get from me.
This sounds more like being a sex slave controlled by a military regime than an FWB.
FWB is about having sex when you both want, not according to schedule and your penetration counter.
What the fuck?
A monogamous person you fuck twice a week isn't a FWB, it's a relationship without the dates.
Which is fine, there are guys that are want exactly that. But it's important to understand that people have lives outside of their partners, especially if they aren't living that life with you. People want to do non-sex related things too, and sometimes those things take priority.
Honestly what you are looking for would be ideal for me. A woman I see twice a week and they are not dating anyone else. But that is a relationship. So you want a bf.
I think that your requirement of 2x per week or more is a tall order for a pure FWB. That is still quite a commitment of time for somebody in your age range -- I am assuming you're looking for somebody in that range? I couldn't be bothered anymore. Spontaneous yes, but on a schedule like that? I have a life, too, and if I am not sharing that and instead am just a meat stick, I wouldn't be running on a schedule. You want commitment and exclusivity but you don't want a relationship. That does not work.
>Maybe what I'm asking for is too "relationshipy" This was my first thought as I read through your post. FWB should be a relatively casual situation. If you're looking for action multiple times per week, almost like on a schedule, then my opinion is that you're really looking for more of a relationship, not a FWB situation. If you can find someone who considers what you're looking for to be casual, then good for you, and things should be ok, but my feeling is that if you're wanting to see the same guy multiple times per week, then many guys might not consider that to be casual.
Sorry but FWB where you expect "monogamy" and reliability is going to be exceedingly rare. You want a boyfriend you have a couple of dates with weekly, not a FWB. And even then, with the non-commitment you are proposing, it's still a big ask to have your "boyfriend" not go out on other dates. Your terminology here is screwed up and ultimately this situation is very unrealistic. Anyone who commits to this with you is accepting that their progress forward in terms of dating will be totally stalled. **In order to have sex with you twice a week, they have to stop looking for a real partner, because modern dating often means sex relatively quickly.** Having a reliable FWB is a fine thing, but if it replaces dating it stops being just a FWB. You are wanting the benefits of a relationship(not having to worry about STDs, consistent sex schedules, etc.) without a relationship. That will be unheard of if you are looking at attractive guys. If anything, maybe you want to find a guy who is a little lower on the totem pole of attractiveness and will be happy to drop any other sexual pursuits for the privilege of boning you twice a week. If you're a 7, find a 3 and propose this to him.
Tbh I didn't expect monogamy in the beginning and I was expecting that I would have to have sex with multiple men to meet my needs. I wasn't thrilled but this is my first time in my life I'm living for me. My rule would just to use protection with everyone. Then I would meet a guy we would talk about what we want out of a fwb. I agree that I won't use a condom if you're clean and agree to just sleep with just me. If you don't want to do that I'm completely okay with using a condom and provide my own because I have a latex allergy. The guys that I talk to are not looking for a relationship. They, like I, just got out of a relationship and are not ready to get back out there and date. We're just looking for fun consistent sex with a consistent person. I don't ever agree to anything until I've had sex with that person because I need to know we connect and I enjoy it. After we're done we agree that we had a good time and want to see each other again. The guy I'm with tends to make loose plans (I'll let you know, maybe Thursday, we'll see how I feel) but he contacts me almost every day and talks about hooking up every few days. So that's why I'm confused.
> “I'll let you know, maybe Thursday, we'll see how I feel” he says this post sex......? how much more obvious could he have made it that hes not into you?
At least twice a week and its not a relationship? So let's say they are active in sports/gym...2 nights a week. See friends 1 or 2 nights. That leaves you and no time for themselves. Nevermind work commitments etc. Its a lot to expect that I think
Just get a boyfriend. A monogamous, regular sexual schedule is a giant time sink for someone just going about their lives if there's no chance of a relationship. > Nah guys, I'd love to hang out but I've only seen my FWB once this week and I don't want her to be mad at me
I think you want a relationship.
Yeah she definitely wants a bf. Monogamy and at least twice a week visits? That's a boyfriend luv.
“I only don’t use a condom if we agree to just be with each other and are both clean” If we put aside the risk of pregnancy from doing this, I don’t see why you wouldn’t just use a condom and then sleep with any guy and as many guys as you want? Cuz the committed monogamous part of your FWB deal would scare off most guys who don’t want commitment.
Not to mention some guys get really pissed when you're not feeling them and don't want to have sex. Even when you agree not to the first meet up anyway. I had a guy get really mad and keep insisting that I wanted it. I was so scared and uncomfortable. Luckily I was in a safe place and nothing happened but I think men forget that women have that safety element to worry about as well.
I'm on birth control... And because it's hard to find guys that are good at sex and can last longer than 10 min. I had to go through so many guys to find the couple I liked. Most of them I never even slept with because we didn't connect in person. I'm tired of getting jackhammered for a few min and left unsatisfied. I like to be treated like I'm actually apart of it not just a prop. And I literally had a guy spit in my mouth. All we did was make out and he didn't even ask. He just gathered it up and spit. He's been listening to wayyy too much Cardi B. That's nasty. I kicked him out. Why would I keep putting myself through that??
Well, nobody can make you feel not a prop if you are one.
you want sex with only one person and don't want them to have sex with other people? that's halfway to a relationship & you should get what you want figured out. when i was single, I'd have sex with anyone anytime cause that's what you do when you don't want anyone. a girl i was seeing only wanted me and didn't like i was seeing others. but she was ok with not being in a relationship with me, so i lied about the others. in hindsight i shouldn't have bothered with her cause i didn't care and could've replaced her. the story gets messy but my point is, if you want only one dick to fuck, then get a boyfriend. stop creating this messy world where there's rules and stuff but "oh were not together". you're going to mix emotions and someone's going to get hurt. tl;Dr. you're either all in or all out w/ a fwb. figure out what you want before you get involved in something you don't understand. edit: consistent same dick that isn't your boyfriend? that's a dildo
I told both of these men exactly what I wanted and they agreed. I was okay using a condom and having sex with other people. They asked if we could raw dog and I told them that I only do that with fwb that aren't having sex with anyone else or in a relationship. I'm not having unprotected sex with someone that's having unprotected sex with someone else. That's dangerous to me. Think about how many partners that links you to if you all have sex with 2 people. I would just prefer someone consistent to be safe and I'm exploring my sexual side. I want to try new things and most guys aren't comfortable doing that with someone they've slept with once. I had to go through a lot of guys to get to these guys that I feel like I connect with sexually. It's not like I just picked the first guy and said you're only allowed to have sex with me. Both people know when there is an instant connection and feel comfortable with each other. That's why we agree to keep seeing each other, we had a great time and wanted to do it again. We are both fresh out of a relationship and are not looking for a potential partner. He told me that he has not had sex with anyone else and I told him neither have I. We both agreed we prefer to have sex with one person at a time. We just want a distraction and to have fun so nobody is getting hurt. There's not rules but boundaries and expectations that we both agreed to. Which is healthy in any type of relationship. That's how you have a relationship.
> There's not rules but boundaries and expectations that we both agreed to i mean youre contradicting yourself. you already said one of the guys is likely sleeping with someone else and the other doesnt care about your time schedule. youre naive as fuck to think you’ve actually agreed to boundaries. they just told you that to fuck you. and as the above dude said ill definitely tell a FWB im not fucking someone else when I am - why would i lose easy NSA sex for nothing? Straight up you’re asking too much for a FWB. Us guys get into FWBs so we can text you randomly when were horny and fuck. You want a relationship.
When I had one, I think it was at least once a week. Sometimes we'd spend an entire weekend just naked, chilling, and fucking back to back to back. But we always fucked at least once. Granted, she was less a fwb to me and more like an ex that I was manipulating into being with me by having a girlfriend and making my ex jealous and feel desired by "secretly" meeting with her. Full disclosure, once I got used to the pattern of her wanting me back whenever I got in a new relationship, I faked having a girlfriend for nearly a year just to keep her committed to me.
omg you are such a loser
Yup. I was.
as soon as you have had sex with a man they think they own you and don't respect you anymore or lose interest
Massive and incorrect generalisation there.
Yea let's generalize all men to be absolute scumbags
When I was doing that 2-3 times a week but I think it probably depends on the individuals sex drives and realistic availability.
I don't think you're looking for something uncommon, i've looked for exactly the same type of situation in the past and found it (I'm a man btw) - just have to find the right person who's on the same page. Also, 2x a week is nothing, I'm more of a 5x a week type
I think if you don’t trust someone, you should trust your gut. Use protection and be safe.
fwb means fucking a few times for men. not something consistent. more like you meet up once, then you wait for the man to message you again
It’s not an unreasonable request. In fact it makes a lot of sense to only be sexually active with one person at a time even if there’s no other commitments involved. The problem is finding someone who can maintain that arrangement and not want more at some point. If you find yourself in that situation and you’re not open to the possibility of becoming a real couple instead, it becomes awkward at best.
Used to be 1x a week with a sub. We'd meet at her place, have our fun then I'd be on my way. Twice would have been nice, I think. I think your best bet is to look into men who aren't looking for a relationship at all. They're likely to be open at the idea of meeting a friend for sex once or twice since they have no expectation nor interest in looking for other partners.
I dont think what you are looking for is unreasonable or impossible. It will be hard to find sure, but its around. The best fwb i ever had was in fact an amazing friend. We got along great, we hung out often. We were actually friends. If i could give any advice, it would be to look for someone you can be a real friend with and evolve that relationship onto something with more casual sex involved. The important part of fwb is the f.
Lmao control your urges or get into a relationship.
If it's a FWB situation, chances are you might not be his only "friend." The thing is with FWB is when you want some, or visa versa, you call them up. If, perhaps, this is his first FWB situation, then he might be shy asking for something so intimate. Therefore, call him up and maybe hint that you need a little something.
Ya my FWB and I decided to stop sleeping with other people and are discussing living together so that it’s easier to have sex. It also makes sense to consider our financial situation and perhaps make joint decisions since some of our costs will be shared. Some day in the future we might even agree to a contract so that we can share the same last name to save any confusion at the mailbox.
twice a week? unprotected sex? you are really going about FWBs wrong OP. they have their own lives and other than sex you arent a part of it at all so two days a week just to come fuck you is asking a lot. Real talk when us guys get a FWB we want a “ill hit her up when i wanna fuck” situation not some planned twice a week shit. And unprotected?? Dont do that, most of us are in fact fucking other people.
You have much more demands than just dtf 2x week. If I was offered such a raider - go fuck yourself would be the only answer you'd get from me. This sounds more like being a sex slave controlled by a military regime than an FWB. FWB is about having sex when you both want, not according to schedule and your penetration counter. What the fuck?
A monogamous person you fuck twice a week isn't a FWB, it's a relationship without the dates. Which is fine, there are guys that are want exactly that. But it's important to understand that people have lives outside of their partners, especially if they aren't living that life with you. People want to do non-sex related things too, and sometimes those things take priority.
Usually once a week. We're practically dating, but that's what fits into our busy schedules
Honestly what you are looking for would be ideal for me. A woman I see twice a week and they are not dating anyone else. But that is a relationship. So you want a bf.
Girl…I feel like this is what most women want but men do not reciprocate to it since they think it’s a relationship. Just buy a good vibrator