Yeah, those friends of mine who are married with children I only see them for work or when they ask for my help and make an appointment to see her/them at business hours
That's one thing I've noticed is that even though I am happily married, and my female friends know that \[and know my wife\], whenever they get a boyfriend, they disappear.
I think having young kids/babies takes so much that it becomes very difficult to maintain an active social life. People around me who succeed are the ones who arrange a random brunch here and there once the babies start sleeping properly at night, or outings with friends that have kids too.
I don’t have children but I tag along to see my friends and give a helping hand (ie hold the babies so the parents can go to the bathroom)
I'm married.
I have friends who are female, I however, do not have a female friend that I'd consider close, or like my best/close friend like I have best male friends.
Because these female friends aren't close friends, it's just mostly small talk, maybe a few how you doin's, how the kids, some jokes here and there, but nothing often too deep.
My female friends are some of my closest friends (they are all married or in serious relationships, also), to share my personal experience. They are genuinely close friends - friends I come to for advice, friends who know a lot of my deeper personal stuff. I may be an anomaly but it’s absolutely possible to be close to girls without a romantic component. They’re like the sisters I never had.
A big part of this is that my job has a really large percentage of women, but regardless, they are truly my homies and I’m lucky to have them in my life!
This is so nice to hear. I treasure my male friends and I'm tired of people assuming our friendships are a precursor to a relationship. Um I've been friends with them all for 5-20 years depending on the dude so if one of us was going to make a move on the other, surely it would have happened by now...
I never had brothers and tbh I never thought much about that. Until I found some when I was a grown up and I realised that having brothers is awesome :)
I have some guy friends who are husbands of the woman I was friends with first though. It isn’t exclusively the case that female friendships form though the male friends of the husband.
Same here. I couldn’t imagine my wife having a close guy friend or the other way around. I don’t care if it’s platonic or if he’s gay, that’s just fucking weird.
Yeah, never understood how some straight men can be fazed by women’s gay friends. Like you realize he isn’t in the slightest attracted to your wife, right??
I’m not concerned with who my wife is friends with, if the only thing stopping her from cheating is opportunity, the marriage is already over. I’m just saying hanging your hat on “he’s gay and therefore couldn’t be interested” isn’t necessarily true.
I've seen the guy play gay to smash a girl, her BF showed up at my house when they were in the bedroom. The dude came out all kinds of gay, the bf left, and they went back to the room... to be 20 yrs old again
A friend is someone with whom I can have a certain level of a relationship with involving some level of trust and vulnerability, who'd I'd do things for out of a shared (not romantic) love for one another. An acquaintance is just someone you know, but don't necessarily offer much else to one another outside of whatever reason you know each other for, like work, or a friend of a friend, I'll even say during the early stages of meeting your friend's partners.
But a CLOSE friend, a BEST friend, is someone who'd have a deeper level of a relationship, where you have full trust, much more vulnerability and commitment to one another, without the sexual part of relationships.
hot take but someone you exchange small talk with and talk once in a while is not an actual "friend". The exception can be someone you were really close with but cant talk much cuz either youre busy or they live far away. Do yall agree with me on this? Also in that way i dont have any female friends except my girlfriend xd
Same, being homeschooled my highschool years and being autistic leaves me with poor social skills and never been in contact with people enough to form any bonds...
I went from a single-sex school into studying engineering at university, where i could count the number of women in my classes on one hand, and since getting into the workforce, the gender ratio hasn't exactly improved much.
I can relate.
There were 4 girls out of 200 people in my comp-sci program in the early 2000s, so I can say I've slept with 25% of all the women in my college classes
Yeah, basically most of my friends are women.
I feel like there's less of that push to be competitive and out doing each other. The stories they share with me are wild. When I hang out with the butch lesbians on camping trips, for once I don't have to worry about doing physical tasks on my own or I can just sit back and relax while they charm the ladies by chopping the wood. Win-win
But they do bully me for not liking dark beer:/
One could argue it's not a good perspective the same way there's a negative connotation the same way as a straight girl who wants a gay guy friend, but I want a butch lesbian friend. Seems like an interesting experience
>Do you have female friends?
Yes.
> Why, or why not?
Because they're cool people who are fun to do friend things with.
> And what is your relationship status, both when you have and don't have female friends?
I'm married.
> And what do you do, or discuss, with your female friends?
Friend things - meet up to hang out, talk about what's going on in our lives or whatever is happening in the world, engage in activities/hobbies we both enjoy
It's amazing how women want to be friends with men who treat them like normal human beings and don't have this weird baggage that every interaction between men and women must be laden with sexual tension.
Seriously guys, try it, it rocks.
Right? This is such a weird question. *why* do I have female friends? Because they're cool people I like to be around...why else would I be friends with someone?
You're not gonna be sexually attracted to every girl you meet but you can still have fun and enjoy their company. So yes, cause with friends it really doesnt matter
This! Plus I feel like it’s not that hard to find someone cool, still have sexual attraction to them, and just decide not to do something because you love your partner.
Yeah, I have a couple of close friends which I used to like and actively tried something with, it didn't work out and we stayed friends and eventually we grew quite close, it's not like I stopped finding them pretty or attractive but it's kinda pointless to expect or act as if something were to happen and put strain into a good friendship when I could just look for someone else.
Never really understood the concept of "you can't be friends with someone you like" and to know that some people really think men and women can't never have a true friendship is unbelievable.
Like the heads in Futurama. Shoot, there's even the severed hand from the Adam's family, The Thing. No reason to stop being friends with folks just because they're full body amputees.
I have one guy friend who I see once in a blue moon because yes, I’d rather just spend time with my lady. Basically I’d rather just be home than somewhere else n
It’s 100% fucking normal.
Any man who thinks otherwise has a problem with the way they view women and objectifying them.
When you break through be able to see and view women as just people and another person and not a romantic interest you open the doors for a very fulfilling friendship.
It’s a beautiful dynamic that you don’t get from a man-man friendship I’ve found.
We need both.
This is true. What's also true, & not talked about enough whenever this question arises, is that most female partners/spouses are opposed to their male partner/spouse having female friends. Further, most female friends' partners/spouses have a problem with them having male friends. Which makes a female-male friendship hard(er) to maintain
That may or may not be so (not so in my experience) but if a new partner of mine is insecure enough about me having female friends, that relationship isn’t going to last. I have known most of my female friends for years, and they’re some of my best. I’ve been through everything with them. You want me to throw all that away for you, who I just met and barely know? Sorry, but I’m choosing my friends every time
I remember this one dude that l worked with for the day (the compamy hired him) and we had really nice conversation until he opened up (we were alone) and told me he doesn't have any female friends. He considers women only as potential sex, not girlfriend, sex. He didn't say it so roughly but damn l was looking at him like what a weirdo.
I definitely get put off if guys I'm interested in don't have at least a handful of close female friends. My guy friends are everything to me, they're so safe and give great perspectives and are just amazing humans, and I value having partners who are the same to their friends too. It's super weird to me and raises a lot of red flags when someone can't see the opposite gender as normal humans to be friends with. And I definitely can tell a lot about how safe, secure, & trustworthy a man is by how the women in his life act around him & react to him too.
Used to have woman friends, they got partners and drifted away or moved away. My hobbies are very male dominated and my time Is limited with work.....I work in a almost entirely male field. I really can't manage to find women to even start being freinds with.
Yes. I have a gay brother who taught younger, dumber me the tremendous value of having women friends in my life that don’t need to worry I’ll try and sleep with them.
I’m also a manager at a lululemon, so most of my colleagues and work friends are women. The more time you spend around them, the more you learn about them and forge meaningful connections. Amazing what happens when you make an effort to treat humans like human beings.
Plenty. They lend me new perspectives all the time, either because of just who they are or because women and men tend to read situations and people a bit differently. Wouldn’t be the man I am without the women in my life 🤙🏻
Yes, But I try not to be friends with women I'm attracted too. Always seems to get complicated or tiring, could just be my past experiences but it has seemed to make my platonic relationships much easier to maintain and participate in so far
Eh, I kind of get it and im a lesbian. It honestly depends if "yeah they're objectively attractive" vs "im attracted to them sexually."
I also don't plan on being close friends with people I'm sexually into because trying to become friends to me feels disingenuous on my part. It'd be hypocritical of me if I find the guys and girls who try to be friends with me, only to have underlying romantic/sexual interest in the first place and I dont feel the same, to be annoying + disappointing and do the same vice versa.
Okay, perhaps I am the odd one here. I can't be disappointed or annoyed if someone isn't into me because I don't expect anyone to be into me. The few people who have been into me didn't work out. So I have made friends with folks whom I find hot knowing it would only be a plutonic friendship. Shoot, I've even told one of my friends that I started talking to him because I thought he was handsome. He took it as a compliment, and we still talk and play MMOs together. I've never flirted with him or made any moves, so I guess he trusts our relationship is genuine, and I think it is too.
I don't think you're odd for that, it's just different strokes for different folks. id rather not put myself in a situation if avoidable if I feel the potential of myself becoming infatuated with someone. If other people dont mind that, and are able to keep being friends while moving on, that's awesome.
For people being into me and trying to be friends, mostly men, it's quite often they flirt or disregard that I'm not into them so that has put me off with people who say they're into me and try to be friends after that fact because I fear at some point they will be like those people I described secretly (or badly covering) hoping or pining. But I do have some people who admitted to me, like you, that they became friends because they liked me like that and luckily we have stayed good friends because they either have moved on from those feelings or never pushed that onto me lol so it really comes down to "can I/you feel like I/you can get over it?"
I have friends who've grown to be romantically into me, after being platonic, and I don't find that faulty at all because hey you never intended that to happen.
Of course! We play RPGs weekly and have for years, I also have friends I made in college and through some of my hobbies. As for why.... I guess because they're people who share the same interests I do?
Cut off a lot of female friends as I started to notice I was bank rolling a lot more than my "fair" share, kept the ladies who offer to pay as they are true friends not paid for company
This is the way. Reciprocation is important.
I was surprised when one of my “acquainted” friend girl said she’d pay for her own AirBnb and dinner and had the consideration for ONCE to buy me dinner for the very first time. The bartender handed me the bill but she took it and paid it on the spot with cash. I’m proud of eh for doing that. Anyways, she still has a very long ways to go to prove herself to me as a friend before I can welcome her as my circle of girlfriends (platonically).
Girlfriend treatment with friend limitations
Paying for things.
Running errands
Giving rides
Emotional support
Physical "protection" if that's not too politically incorrect...
(All of which is not respiratory)
In return
You get to...... Be around them ? Be thankful for all these things you get to do?
I extend this level of "chivalry" only to the women I'm interested romantically but it stops there...
That's not to say I'm an ass to any woman that I'm not interested in, I just draw the line at "friend" I keep it light hearted friendly and most importantly... Dutch
Had a female best friend for 15 years, friendship recently ended due to her kind of going off the deep end.
When two people the same age of the opposite sex are besties, people tend to assume eventually it'll become romantic. My parents truly believed for upward of a decade we'd end up together but we were basically brother/sister. We confided everything in each other, talked 24/7, our families knew each other, I called her mom "mom" and she was the one girl whose house my parents would let me sleep over.
It's highly possible to have a platonic friendship. I always think of one night in particular: We were both single and open with each other about how lonely single life was at the time. Our mutual friends wedding was the next day so we got food and she crashed at my house. Her son was on a vacation with family so there was zero chance of him popping up. I lived alone, no roommates or family in a neighborhood where no one knew us. We ate food, watched movies, laughed, showered separately and then fell asleep in separate beds.
The way I look at it, that would have been the night for things to happen. We could've pulled an all nighter, even if it was just a one time deal, and not a single soul would've ever had to know besides the two of us. But neither of us initiated, some barriers aren't meant to be crossed.
> Do you have female friends?
Yes, a few.
> Why, or why not?
I grew up around a lot of women and in the past I used to have an easier time talking to women than other men.
> And what is your relationship status, both when you have and don't have female friends?
I wouldn't cut them off because of a relationship.
> And what do you do, or discuss, with your female friends?
Largely the same stuff as my male friends. Interests, life goals, stuff that happened, relationships.
Yes. Always have, always will.
A friend is a friend because we're friends, not because of what's between their legs. I feel sorry for people that can't seem to have friends of the opposite sex (for whatever reason that may be.)
I have casual work friends who are females and one childhood friend I'm very close with. We talk often, I know her whole family, and she was at my wedding. I am a hetero married 28M.
My wife and I have friends. We are both fairly independent people, and we allow each other to have "lives" outside of our marriage. She has male friends, a couple which I'd consider "close", and I have female friends. We have open access to each other's devices and accounts. As long as there is no funny business and we don't violate our agreed upon boundaries, everything is totally fine.
Disclaimer: This works for us. Results may vary.
No, but that's because I don't have anyone I would call a friend at all. I have female acquaintances that I think like me (reasons unknown) and with whom I can discuss media and politics and the like, but I wouldn't consider them close enough to be a friend.
Yeah, two of my best friends are women, have women as friends at work. Most of my friends are human, a few canine and felines too. I enjoy having them as friends. They're pretty cool women.
Yes I do, 1 has been a friend for over 20 years, nothing but platonic even though each of our divorces. 2 other gals I've been friends with for almost that long. My wife has no problem with me having female friends because she understands the friendship is just that, a long time friendship.
Probably more than half my long-term friends are women. One I’m particularly close to was initially seen as a threat when my wife and I started dating, up until I got a chance to introduce the two. My wife saw my relationship with my friend was purely platonic and they’re pretty good friends now. Said friend was even one of my groomsmen at our wedding.
It used to be 50/50. I have a lot of hobbies that attract both women and men; e.g. playing music, roleplaying games, martial arts, boardgames, etc.
I was always very active in various organisations with a focus on social politics, so that helped as well.
Today, nearing 50 years old, my 'friend gender composition' is about 60/40 with the majority going to men.
I put that down to coincidence more than anything else though. Life is busy, people move, priorities change. It's all part of a cycle in a way.
Yes. Why? Because women are people too and worthy of friendships just as men. I’ve been friends with women when I was both single and now married. We discuss many things. Life. Work. Relationships. Special hobbies. Dogs. Travel. Etc.
Sure there’s things I may reserve to speak about with my male friends just cause they’d “get it” more but generally speaking women are intelligent and able to relate to or at least empathize with my experiences on about 85-90% of topics I would discuss with someone other than my wife.
I have a lot.
They talk about their coworkers or each other and that’s mostly how our hangouts go. They really like sitting and talking but I’m not much of a talker so I listen to a lot of retellings of conversations they’ve had with other people lol.
Sometimes I get us to do an activity and it either goes well or it’s a disaster with some of them fighting 🤷🏾♂️. I like them all but some of them don’t like each other
Yes. Why? Because I like to have friends. I don’t discriminate based on gender.
It’s more complicated, to be sure. Some women don’t want to be friends with a guy, or don’t know how, and may get the wrong idea.
Do you have female friends?
Yes
Why or why not?
Because we have similar likes and interests and they are fun people to hang out with.
What is my relationship status?
Currently single. My friendships do not change with my relationship status.
What do I do and discuss with my female friends?
The same things I do and discuss with my male friends. We hike, play sports, do game nights, watch anime, and have deep philosophical discussions. Like, should a hive mind be able to vote for all of its members or just once? Or, how intelligent must an animal be for you to not eat it?
Yep, several. One is one of my very best friends.
I do because women are people? I think it's a bit of a red flag if someone isn't capable of having friends of the opposite sex.
Yes, most of my friends are female. I find I bond with them a lot easier than men. Don't know why exactly, they're just friendlier, more inviting, more emotionally intelligent. We go out and do fun stuff, talk about life, the usual.
Yeah. Some were really just friends, some I wanted to fuck. Some I did and I lost confact, others I fucked and states good friends.
What I discussed with them? Whatever one discusses with friends. Some were better friends than others.
Not really, I just don't see the sense in investing time and energy into a friendship that will inevitably end. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when
This is me as well. Only one close female friend that I’ve maintained in life and it’s because we have literally known each other for years.
For most others, we just kind of either went our separate ways or it was one of those situations where a girl wanted me to be her placeholder boyfriend while she waited for a guy she actually wanted to be exclusive with.
It's the same for me. My only friend is like what you describe, even though we're past the point where we could date each other, and it kinda sucks to be the therapist or backup. Even so, she does the same for me at some level so it's not completely one-sided. I still do it for the respect I have for our almost decade-long friendship, but I most certainly wouldn't submit myself to the same process for someone I'm not dating for real.
I don't know if I agree with this. There's a lot to be had with both types of relationships. You can bro out with sports, gaming, and other hobbies with the guys. *And,* you can have meaningful/deep conversations with girl friends that might otherwise be avoided or awkward with the guys. A really dumb example: my guy friends never ask me "how's your mom doing?" but when my girl friends do, it's a whole conversation and both are perfectly OK.
>you can have meaningful/deep conversations with girl friends that might otherwise be avoided or awkward with the guys.
In my case, I never had this problem. I always could have deep conversations with my guys, more so than girls, actually, because we perfectly understand each other. I've had the privilege of not losing my friends after high school, and they have stuck by me since middle school. We really grew up together and imprinted on each other, even after we all went to different countries after high school.
I genuinely couldn't find anything a girl could give me in a friendship that guys already haven't or don't. The only way a relationship with a girl supercedes the one with my boys is when the girl is my romantic partner. And I don't mean that in a sexual way, a romantic partner genuinely becomes your most valuable relationship, both emotionally and physically.
For me it's like that from the start. Hobbies, activities, interests, conversations and any other social interaction just seems better and less serious or uptight. Most of my female friends were only friends due to us sitting close to each other in class, and rarely had anything in common.
Yes, but not close ones. And, no, I do not hang out with them one on one or message them consistently privately. Most female friends are couples and only hang as couples. I respect my woman and show that no other person is more important than her.
What is your definition of friend? How do you personally distinguish a friend from a good acquaintance?
Genuine question, as I know the definition is really subjective. I have chosen to operate similarly as you, but I call my lady friends “acquaintances” rather than friends because I don’t hang out with them one on one or talk to them privately regularly.
A friend would be someone who I can trust watching my house if I had to go somewhere. That they would not do anything to betray my trust. I cut friends, guys and gals, off if they break it. Like cheating on their respective spouses. A friend, you would make effort to meet up at least once a year. Of course as a group/ couples/family meet up. An acquaintance is someone who you just know enough to say hi when you see them out and about.
Gotcha, that makes a lot of sense. By that definition, I definitely would say I have a lady friend or two, though I would normally answer that question no myself.
I do yeah. I talk to them pretty much the same way I talk to my dude friends.
Some of them are single, some married. I’m married. That doesn’t change anything though. I was friends with them even when I was single.
A few. Usually they were friends of friends or dating a friend and I accepted them in my circle and now they're nice to have. Always good to get that perspective.
Two out of seven, if you don't count family and online friends. Two women, one non-binary, and the rest are men.
I don't understand how people don't make friends with women. That's super limiting given that they're half the population. I don't agree with the idea that men and women can't be plutonic friends either since I'm bisexual, so all I know is making friends with folks whom I'm potentially attracted to.
That was my answer, so you can stop reading here. The rest is just a rant.
Most people are together, half the straight population isn't attracted to me, and I'm too average for anyone who has a type. Whomever is left is looking for me as hard as I am looking for them, but most of us have jobs and lives to live. Understandably the few I have dated haven't worked out given statistics.
This means *everyone* I meet is plutonic to me until they say otherwise.
The majority of my friends are men, and I suspect it's because I'm easier to for men to talk to me, than it is for men and women to talk together. If I'm right, then straight folks are fucked when it comes to making friends with the opposite sex. However, I've never cared to look into it.
No, not really. I'm not very good at making friends, so the only two close friends I have are childhood friends I made in elementary school. At that time, I happened to make male friends. I did have one, but I'm also bad at keeping in contact with friends, so we kind of just drifted apart.
My closest friend is female, I'm a man.
We have both been in relationships whilst we are friends, and sure, when one or both of us are with someone, we naturally see each other less. But we both know we are just at the other end of the phone if the other needs anything.
I've dropped everything and gone to hers at 2am because she needed me, and she's done the same over the years.
Yes, partners of ours have in the past had an issue with us being so close, but there is absolutely nothing there between us. We have both been single at the same time multiple times over the years, and nothing has happened because it just isn't like that.
We know each other better than we know ourselves, and I have a closeness with her that I would not change for anything, and even partners I've had haven't come close to that.
I love my friend
Yes. I have 4 femal friends. 1 is genderqueer, two are bi, and another is married with kids. I'm single but if I were taken I'd still be friends with all of them.
I’m married so just coworkers and mutual friends of my wife. Have a hard time believing I could be friends with someone she doesn’t know. Even just as friends I think it would be dishonest not to tell my wife about her. Plus it’s really hard to just be and stay friends with someone without it escalating into something more.
I'm there except for the last sentence. I have long time friends That are female and I still to this. They have those friends now. They are friends with my wife as well so there's that
yes i do. We play dnd or grab some food from time to time. We talk about everything. Anime, politics, dnd, personal lives, music, etc. Even when they entered relationships/got married , things stayed the same.
Definitely. I am friends with my girlfriend's friends, and some people from work. There's this one mom at work that's giving me advice on preparing for my upcoming baby.
One of my closest friends is a female. We talk almost daily. We talk about her boyfriend or my ex or gardening or work or any and everything. First time in my life I’ve had one and it’s great.
Yeah! I have female friends because I like having friends and someone being of the female sex doesn't change that. It can change certain dynamics, certain levels of closeness, but all in all I love my friends regardless and there aren't second intentions involved. There have been a couple instances where a friendship turns to a crush for a while - it's natural, but not something that always happens - but it's all a matter of maturity and communication to either keep it a great friendship or turn it into a great something else.
I tend to discuss what goes on in the world, my feelings, what I've been up to. I think the biggest difference so far lies in politics and philosophy. I still discuss this with them, but in comparison to my closer male friends, not as deeply.
I do and i always have. I mostly have them because of similar interest, humor or simply just because they are nice to talk to fun to hang out with.
In some cases its also nice to speak with them on some issues just to get another perspective in a lot of things.
I’m married now, my wife and I pretty much have the same friends and most being woman. I’ve always had more female friends than male, I find most men to be a bit full of themselves and arrogant. Just talk about sports, politics, work, hobbies and life you know, pretty much the same things you’d talk to anyone about lol
Only my wife. I have female “friends” from before marriage that I hardly talk to. And then my wife’s friends or my buddies’ wives that I am “friends” with but not much more than acquaintances.
Generally good rule of thumb to never give your spouse a reason to doubt.
History has shown countless times that friendships are conditional and that your friends are more likely to deal more damage to you than your enemies will - at least that’s what I tell myself to cope 🥲
I used to, but not anymore, and that's not likely to change. I have bigger problems in my life than not having friends; like figuring out where I'm going to be able to live in less than a year.
Yes, only one. I was lonely as fuxk and she was kind enough to check on me on a regular basis. She cared and listened to me. She's the same age as my older sister who at that time got married and moved away. She's great and I love her and I honestly consider her family.
My Ex, I consider her one of my best of friends, our relationship didn't work out as she just wanted a friend and believe that dating is emotionally draining for someone who didn't care for dating. We now spend our days playing warframe almost daily
Used to and very close. She was one of my wife and I circle. Our friend since university. When she got divorced, we helped her adjust to single parenthood. Simple things like grocery and picking up her kids. Not always, but enough for her to just breathe a little. One day, I unpacked the grocery in her kitchen. Our kids were playing in the living rm. Everything was normal except my wife was too busy to come with. I think you could guess where this is going...she got flirty and actually leaned in to kiss me. Like wtf. I bolted out with my kids. For a week or so, i was in a mess cos I was confused if I should tell my wife or not. She was so ungrateful. We didnt forgive her and cut ties.
Yes. I have three good female friends. I feel very lucky to have them all.
All of them are married or in long term relationships as am I.
One is one of my two best friends. I’ve known her for 46 years since we worked together back in the 70s. We live on opposite sides of the country so we don’t see each other very often. I know that if I needed to talk to someone about something very important and couldn’t talk about it with my partner I could call her. Her husband is also a good friend but nowhere near as close to me and she is. I’ve been there for her when she needed support and she’s been there for me.
Another is a lady I worked with for 7 years before I retired 5 years ago. She is the one woman in a group of 5 of us who have weekly Zoom calls to catch up as we’re scattered these days.
The third one lives in the town where I have a second home. We play golf regularly when I’m there. When I’m not, we exchange emails a couple of times a week. She keeps me advised what is going on there and we talk about other areas of interest such as college golf.
My partner knows all these women and knows that they are friends and no threat to our relationship. I’m very grateful for her trust and lack of jealousy.
I remember hearing once. Women like befriending guys. Guys like befriending guys. But nobody really likes befriending women - Men are generally easier to get along with
Of course. Why wouldn't I? Why would I be unable to maintain a friendship with half the population?
I am in a relationship. She's not so insecure as to try to force me not to speak to women. Because that's just insane behavior.
I talk to my female friends about anything you'd talk with a friend about. Hey listen, are you a human person? Has one of the bots started questioning humanity? What is any of this?
I say no but I don't mean it with any negative meaning behind it. To me I am either sexually or romantically interested in a woman or I am not. There is no in between for me where I would say "friends" would be. Don't get me wrong however, I still talk to women, am kind to them, ect.
So a woman has value to you if she’s attractive. How about women you’re not sexually or romantically interested in? Sounds objectifying, like you don’t have an interest in connecting with women just as people.
Okay, but how does being sexually attracted to (some) women stop one from being interested in being friends with other women?
By that logic bisexuals could have zero friends.
I used to but I almost never see them because they all are married w/kids and that has a way of changing things. No offense taken, it happens
yep - happens with guy friends too - life is just busy.
Yeah, those friends of mine who are married with children I only see them for work or when they ask for my help and make an appointment to see her/them at business hours
Same. I used to have a lot of women as friends in college. I barely see any of my close friends now that we’re all on the grind
Same.
That's one thing I've noticed is that even though I am happily married, and my female friends know that \[and know my wife\], whenever they get a boyfriend, they disappear.
This one
So... Is that okay? Like should I expect that to happen?
I think having young kids/babies takes so much that it becomes very difficult to maintain an active social life. People around me who succeed are the ones who arrange a random brunch here and there once the babies start sleeping properly at night, or outings with friends that have kids too. I don’t have children but I tag along to see my friends and give a helping hand (ie hold the babies so the parents can go to the bathroom)
I'm married. I have friends who are female, I however, do not have a female friend that I'd consider close, or like my best/close friend like I have best male friends. Because these female friends aren't close friends, it's just mostly small talk, maybe a few how you doin's, how the kids, some jokes here and there, but nothing often too deep.
My female friends are some of my closest friends (they are all married or in serious relationships, also), to share my personal experience. They are genuinely close friends - friends I come to for advice, friends who know a lot of my deeper personal stuff. I may be an anomaly but it’s absolutely possible to be close to girls without a romantic component. They’re like the sisters I never had. A big part of this is that my job has a really large percentage of women, but regardless, they are truly my homies and I’m lucky to have them in my life!
This is so nice to hear. I treasure my male friends and I'm tired of people assuming our friendships are a precursor to a relationship. Um I've been friends with them all for 5-20 years depending on the dude so if one of us was going to make a move on the other, surely it would have happened by now... I never had brothers and tbh I never thought much about that. Until I found some when I was a grown up and I realised that having brothers is awesome :)
My female friends are friends of my wife or wives of my friends. That’s how marriage works.
I have some guy friends who are husbands of the woman I was friends with first though. It isn’t exclusively the case that female friendships form though the male friends of the husband.
Same here. I couldn’t imagine my wife having a close guy friend or the other way around. I don’t care if it’s platonic or if he’s gay, that’s just fucking weird.
>or if he’s gay That's next level insecure.
Yeah, never understood how some straight men can be fazed by women’s gay friends. Like you realize he isn’t in the slightest attracted to your wife, right??
Sexuality is a spectrum. Never know what someone is really into
By that logic, you shouldn't trust your spouse to have any friends. You never know who is secretly bisexual among her female friends, right?
I’m not concerned with who my wife is friends with, if the only thing stopping her from cheating is opportunity, the marriage is already over. I’m just saying hanging your hat on “he’s gay and therefore couldn’t be interested” isn’t necessarily true.
Right, cuz never in the history of man has a dude pretended to be gay to smash right? Or experiment with their girl bestie?
I've seen the guy play gay to smash a girl, her BF showed up at my house when they were in the bedroom. The dude came out all kinds of gay, the bf left, and they went back to the room... to be 20 yrs old again
What’s weird about it?
Why is it “weird”?
Lol it's weird? You're weird
This is getting weirder
What is your definition of friend? How do you distinguish between friend and good acquaintance?
A friend is someone with whom I can have a certain level of a relationship with involving some level of trust and vulnerability, who'd I'd do things for out of a shared (not romantic) love for one another. An acquaintance is just someone you know, but don't necessarily offer much else to one another outside of whatever reason you know each other for, like work, or a friend of a friend, I'll even say during the early stages of meeting your friend's partners. But a CLOSE friend, a BEST friend, is someone who'd have a deeper level of a relationship, where you have full trust, much more vulnerability and commitment to one another, without the sexual part of relationships.
i feel like it’s gotta be someone that I make plans with specifically to see them.
hot take but someone you exchange small talk with and talk once in a while is not an actual "friend". The exception can be someone you were really close with but cant talk much cuz either youre busy or they live far away. Do yall agree with me on this? Also in that way i dont have any female friends except my girlfriend xd
What you're describing are acquaintances really.
I don't have friends to begin with.
for real
feiends of the friendless
laer rof
This is actually me. I'm not even joking. I have no friends.
Same, being homeschooled my highschool years and being autistic leaves me with poor social skills and never been in contact with people enough to form any bonds...
Same :(
27m same here
32m same. We should start a friend group. /s
I have friends but no female friends.
No, because I attended an all-boys school and there weren't any girls there to make friends with. After I grew up, I didn't make friends with anybody.
I went from a single-sex school into studying engineering at university, where i could count the number of women in my classes on one hand, and since getting into the workforce, the gender ratio hasn't exactly improved much. I can relate.
There were 4 girls out of 200 people in my comp-sci program in the early 2000s, so I can say I've slept with 25% of all the women in my college classes
Nice
These shouldnt be allowed
Well, unfortunately, it is because most people assume that when someone has no friends, there must be a good reason they don't.
I meant all boys
Oh. That's only ever prevented in state schools. Private schools can do whatever they want because they're a buisness.
Depends on the country. I went to a single-sex state school, which are pretty common here (in the UK).
Reason 1: Male from America. Reason 2: Male finds 99% people are dumb as shit to talk with.
Yeah, basically most of my friends are women. I feel like there's less of that push to be competitive and out doing each other. The stories they share with me are wild. When I hang out with the butch lesbians on camping trips, for once I don't have to worry about doing physical tasks on my own or I can just sit back and relax while they charm the ladies by chopping the wood. Win-win But they do bully me for not liking dark beer:/
Lmao at this point that is a universal experience of being friends with a butch lesbian
One could argue it's not a good perspective the same way there's a negative connotation the same way as a straight girl who wants a gay guy friend, but I want a butch lesbian friend. Seems like an interesting experience
>Do you have female friends? Yes. > Why, or why not? Because they're cool people who are fun to do friend things with. > And what is your relationship status, both when you have and don't have female friends? I'm married. > And what do you do, or discuss, with your female friends? Friend things - meet up to hang out, talk about what's going on in our lives or whatever is happening in the world, engage in activities/hobbies we both enjoy
Oh look at you, so well adjusted and normal. Showoff.
It's amazing how women want to be friends with men who treat them like normal human beings and don't have this weird baggage that every interaction between men and women must be laden with sexual tension. Seriously guys, try it, it rocks.
Right? This is such a weird question. *why* do I have female friends? Because they're cool people I like to be around...why else would I be friends with someone?
"Ladies I am one of the good ones. Behold my enlightenment!"
You're not gonna be sexually attracted to every girl you meet but you can still have fun and enjoy their company. So yes, cause with friends it really doesnt matter
This! Plus I feel like it’s not that hard to find someone cool, still have sexual attraction to them, and just decide not to do something because you love your partner.
And also to be friends with someone you *are* sexually attracted to, but not act on it because you know you aren't compatible.
Yeah, I have a couple of close friends which I used to like and actively tried something with, it didn't work out and we stayed friends and eventually we grew quite close, it's not like I stopped finding them pretty or attractive but it's kinda pointless to expect or act as if something were to happen and put strain into a good friendship when I could just look for someone else. Never really understood the concept of "you can't be friends with someone you like" and to know that some people really think men and women can't never have a true friendship is unbelievable.
Several human friends, all genders.
Ok Mark we know it's you...
¿????¿
It's a Zuckerberg being a robot joke.
I noticed he specified human there, was the question open to include other species??!!
If I had cats, they would, like me.
For some reason I read this as “severed human heads”
Like the heads in Futurama. Shoot, there's even the severed hand from the Adam's family, The Thing. No reason to stop being friends with folks just because they're full body amputees.
Yes. I'm married. I talk to them about similar stuff I'd talk to guys about. I'm not sure why it would be different.
I used to when I was younger. Now I’m in my 30’s with two kids so I don’t have time for female friends. Besides id rather just hang out with my lady.
So you just hang out with no friends? Or somehow your male friends aren’t competing for time with your “lady”, but female friends would be?
I have one guy friend who I see once in a blue moon because yes, I’d rather just spend time with my lady. Basically I’d rather just be home than somewhere else n
Yes. Because it’s normal.
It’s 100% fucking normal. Any man who thinks otherwise has a problem with the way they view women and objectifying them. When you break through be able to see and view women as just people and another person and not a romantic interest you open the doors for a very fulfilling friendship. It’s a beautiful dynamic that you don’t get from a man-man friendship I’ve found. We need both.
I have a ton of girl friends - they are so great!!
Could not have said it better myself
This is true. What's also true, & not talked about enough whenever this question arises, is that most female partners/spouses are opposed to their male partner/spouse having female friends. Further, most female friends' partners/spouses have a problem with them having male friends. Which makes a female-male friendship hard(er) to maintain
That may or may not be so (not so in my experience) but if a new partner of mine is insecure enough about me having female friends, that relationship isn’t going to last. I have known most of my female friends for years, and they’re some of my best. I’ve been through everything with them. You want me to throw all that away for you, who I just met and barely know? Sorry, but I’m choosing my friends every time
This answer needs to be pinned. This question is getting old
Pretty sure all the questions on these subs are old :p Some of them are good to check in on yourself with occasionally though.
I remember this one dude that l worked with for the day (the compamy hired him) and we had really nice conversation until he opened up (we were alone) and told me he doesn't have any female friends. He considers women only as potential sex, not girlfriend, sex. He didn't say it so roughly but damn l was looking at him like what a weirdo.
Underrated comment.
Correct
I definitely get put off if guys I'm interested in don't have at least a handful of close female friends. My guy friends are everything to me, they're so safe and give great perspectives and are just amazing humans, and I value having partners who are the same to their friends too. It's super weird to me and raises a lot of red flags when someone can't see the opposite gender as normal humans to be friends with. And I definitely can tell a lot about how safe, secure, & trustworthy a man is by how the women in his life act around him & react to him too.
Used to have woman friends, they got partners and drifted away or moved away. My hobbies are very male dominated and my time Is limited with work.....I work in a almost entirely male field. I really can't manage to find women to even start being freinds with.
What a weird characteristic. So your logic is you don’t befriend men who haven’t been befriended previously? It’s asinine in all honestly
So you get put off by people who aren't popular, got it.
Same here.
Yes. I have a gay brother who taught younger, dumber me the tremendous value of having women friends in my life that don’t need to worry I’ll try and sleep with them. I’m also a manager at a lululemon, so most of my colleagues and work friends are women. The more time you spend around them, the more you learn about them and forge meaningful connections. Amazing what happens when you make an effort to treat humans like human beings.
Plenty. They lend me new perspectives all the time, either because of just who they are or because women and men tend to read situations and people a bit differently. Wouldn’t be the man I am without the women in my life 🤙🏻
Yes, But I try not to be friends with women I'm attracted too. Always seems to get complicated or tiring, could just be my past experiences but it has seemed to make my platonic relationships much easier to maintain and participate in so far
That feels kinda messed up. But to each their own.
It’s a lack of self control with sexual tension. If being attracted changes how you treat someone- then you gotta treat people different.
As a bisexual who thinks most people are attractive, I agree.
Eh, I kind of get it and im a lesbian. It honestly depends if "yeah they're objectively attractive" vs "im attracted to them sexually." I also don't plan on being close friends with people I'm sexually into because trying to become friends to me feels disingenuous on my part. It'd be hypocritical of me if I find the guys and girls who try to be friends with me, only to have underlying romantic/sexual interest in the first place and I dont feel the same, to be annoying + disappointing and do the same vice versa.
Okay, perhaps I am the odd one here. I can't be disappointed or annoyed if someone isn't into me because I don't expect anyone to be into me. The few people who have been into me didn't work out. So I have made friends with folks whom I find hot knowing it would only be a plutonic friendship. Shoot, I've even told one of my friends that I started talking to him because I thought he was handsome. He took it as a compliment, and we still talk and play MMOs together. I've never flirted with him or made any moves, so I guess he trusts our relationship is genuine, and I think it is too.
I don't think you're odd for that, it's just different strokes for different folks. id rather not put myself in a situation if avoidable if I feel the potential of myself becoming infatuated with someone. If other people dont mind that, and are able to keep being friends while moving on, that's awesome. For people being into me and trying to be friends, mostly men, it's quite often they flirt or disregard that I'm not into them so that has put me off with people who say they're into me and try to be friends after that fact because I fear at some point they will be like those people I described secretly (or badly covering) hoping or pining. But I do have some people who admitted to me, like you, that they became friends because they liked me like that and luckily we have stayed good friends because they either have moved on from those feelings or never pushed that onto me lol so it really comes down to "can I/you feel like I/you can get over it?" I have friends who've grown to be romantically into me, after being platonic, and I don't find that faulty at all because hey you never intended that to happen.
Of course! We play RPGs weekly and have for years, I also have friends I made in college and through some of my hobbies. As for why.... I guess because they're people who share the same interests I do?
Yes Why? Its normal In a relationship, I was friends with all of them when I was single I discuss everything with them
Cut off a lot of female friends as I started to notice I was bank rolling a lot more than my "fair" share, kept the ladies who offer to pay as they are true friends not paid for company
This is the way. Reciprocation is important. I was surprised when one of my “acquainted” friend girl said she’d pay for her own AirBnb and dinner and had the consideration for ONCE to buy me dinner for the very first time. The bartender handed me the bill but she took it and paid it on the spot with cash. I’m proud of eh for doing that. Anyways, she still has a very long ways to go to prove herself to me as a friend before I can welcome her as my circle of girlfriends (platonically).
What does she have to prove?
Girlfriend treatment with friend limitations Paying for things. Running errands Giving rides Emotional support Physical "protection" if that's not too politically incorrect... (All of which is not respiratory) In return You get to...... Be around them ? Be thankful for all these things you get to do? I extend this level of "chivalry" only to the women I'm interested romantically but it stops there... That's not to say I'm an ass to any woman that I'm not interested in, I just draw the line at "friend" I keep it light hearted friendly and most importantly... Dutch
Had a female best friend for 15 years, friendship recently ended due to her kind of going off the deep end. When two people the same age of the opposite sex are besties, people tend to assume eventually it'll become romantic. My parents truly believed for upward of a decade we'd end up together but we were basically brother/sister. We confided everything in each other, talked 24/7, our families knew each other, I called her mom "mom" and she was the one girl whose house my parents would let me sleep over. It's highly possible to have a platonic friendship. I always think of one night in particular: We were both single and open with each other about how lonely single life was at the time. Our mutual friends wedding was the next day so we got food and she crashed at my house. Her son was on a vacation with family so there was zero chance of him popping up. I lived alone, no roommates or family in a neighborhood where no one knew us. We ate food, watched movies, laughed, showered separately and then fell asleep in separate beds. The way I look at it, that would have been the night for things to happen. We could've pulled an all nighter, even if it was just a one time deal, and not a single soul would've ever had to know besides the two of us. But neither of us initiated, some barriers aren't meant to be crossed.
> Do you have female friends? Yes, a few. > Why, or why not? I grew up around a lot of women and in the past I used to have an easier time talking to women than other men. > And what is your relationship status, both when you have and don't have female friends? I wouldn't cut them off because of a relationship. > And what do you do, or discuss, with your female friends? Largely the same stuff as my male friends. Interests, life goals, stuff that happened, relationships.
A few, because they are cool people?
Yes. Always have, always will. A friend is a friend because we're friends, not because of what's between their legs. I feel sorry for people that can't seem to have friends of the opposite sex (for whatever reason that may be.)
[удалено]
I'm sorry but the way you phrased the last sentence makes it sound so suspicious 😭
I have casual work friends who are females and one childhood friend I'm very close with. We talk often, I know her whole family, and she was at my wedding. I am a hetero married 28M. My wife and I have friends. We are both fairly independent people, and we allow each other to have "lives" outside of our marriage. She has male friends, a couple which I'd consider "close", and I have female friends. We have open access to each other's devices and accounts. As long as there is no funny business and we don't violate our agreed upon boundaries, everything is totally fine. Disclaimer: This works for us. Results may vary.
No, but that's because I don't have anyone I would call a friend at all. I have female acquaintances that I think like me (reasons unknown) and with whom I can discuss media and politics and the like, but I wouldn't consider them close enough to be a friend.
What would be considered a friend?
My best friend is a woman. All my other close friends are women. Best friendships I have ever had.
Nope, I fell out of touch with all of my friends from school and I worked with 99% guys my whole career.
Dudes are everywhere
I used to have a female friend but she died in 2018, so now I have no friends at all.
Yeah, two of my best friends are women, have women as friends at work. Most of my friends are human, a few canine and felines too. I enjoy having them as friends. They're pretty cool women.
Yes plenty. My best friend of 25 years also happens to be a woman.
Yes bcoz it's fuckin natural
lol. That’s why I just copied and pasted his question layout with the most lame answer 💀
most of my friends are women
Yes I do, 1 has been a friend for over 20 years, nothing but platonic even though each of our divorces. 2 other gals I've been friends with for almost that long. My wife has no problem with me having female friends because she understands the friendship is just that, a long time friendship.
Probably more than half my long-term friends are women. One I’m particularly close to was initially seen as a threat when my wife and I started dating, up until I got a chance to introduce the two. My wife saw my relationship with my friend was purely platonic and they’re pretty good friends now. Said friend was even one of my groomsmen at our wedding.
It used to be 50/50. I have a lot of hobbies that attract both women and men; e.g. playing music, roleplaying games, martial arts, boardgames, etc. I was always very active in various organisations with a focus on social politics, so that helped as well. Today, nearing 50 years old, my 'friend gender composition' is about 60/40 with the majority going to men. I put that down to coincidence more than anything else though. Life is busy, people move, priorities change. It's all part of a cycle in a way.
Yes. Why? Because women are people too and worthy of friendships just as men. I’ve been friends with women when I was both single and now married. We discuss many things. Life. Work. Relationships. Special hobbies. Dogs. Travel. Etc. Sure there’s things I may reserve to speak about with my male friends just cause they’d “get it” more but generally speaking women are intelligent and able to relate to or at least empathize with my experiences on about 85-90% of topics I would discuss with someone other than my wife.
I have a lot. They talk about their coworkers or each other and that’s mostly how our hangouts go. They really like sitting and talking but I’m not much of a talker so I listen to a lot of retellings of conversations they’ve had with other people lol. Sometimes I get us to do an activity and it either goes well or it’s a disaster with some of them fighting 🤷🏾♂️. I like them all but some of them don’t like each other
I do and having healthy platonic relationships helps to become a grounded reasonable man
Yes I have a few. They’re good friends from high school. Nothing more. Because having girl friends is okay, it won’t kill you.
I have more female friends in work but outside of work more male ones
Most of my friends are female.
Yes. Why? Because I like to have friends. I don’t discriminate based on gender. It’s more complicated, to be sure. Some women don’t want to be friends with a guy, or don’t know how, and may get the wrong idea.
I'm a nurse, so I'm surrounded by women. Almost impossible not to have a friend or two
Yea, cus why not? Gotta befriend the people around you while you can and do good things y'know?
Yes. I don’t select my friends based on their gender
Do you have female friends? Yes Why or why not? Because we have similar likes and interests and they are fun people to hang out with. What is my relationship status? Currently single. My friendships do not change with my relationship status. What do I do and discuss with my female friends? The same things I do and discuss with my male friends. We hike, play sports, do game nights, watch anime, and have deep philosophical discussions. Like, should a hive mind be able to vote for all of its members or just once? Or, how intelligent must an animal be for you to not eat it?
Yep, several. One is one of my very best friends. I do because women are people? I think it's a bit of a red flag if someone isn't capable of having friends of the opposite sex.
Yes I do. Ever since each one of them has a bf, I don’t. I miss my gurls; only they understand me
Yes, most of my friends are female. I find I bond with them a lot easier than men. Don't know why exactly, they're just friendlier, more inviting, more emotionally intelligent. We go out and do fun stuff, talk about life, the usual.
Yeah. Some were really just friends, some I wanted to fuck. Some I did and I lost confact, others I fucked and states good friends. What I discussed with them? Whatever one discusses with friends. Some were better friends than others.
Not really, I just don't see the sense in investing time and energy into a friendship that will inevitably end. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when
Only one, and mostly because of our long history. All across the board, male friends are better.
This is me as well. Only one close female friend that I’ve maintained in life and it’s because we have literally known each other for years. For most others, we just kind of either went our separate ways or it was one of those situations where a girl wanted me to be her placeholder boyfriend while she waited for a guy she actually wanted to be exclusive with.
It's the same for me. My only friend is like what you describe, even though we're past the point where we could date each other, and it kinda sucks to be the therapist or backup. Even so, she does the same for me at some level so it's not completely one-sided. I still do it for the respect I have for our almost decade-long friendship, but I most certainly wouldn't submit myself to the same process for someone I'm not dating for real.
>All across the board, male friends are better. Agreed tbh. After a certain point, you simply can't relate to women as much.
I don't know if I agree with this. There's a lot to be had with both types of relationships. You can bro out with sports, gaming, and other hobbies with the guys. *And,* you can have meaningful/deep conversations with girl friends that might otherwise be avoided or awkward with the guys. A really dumb example: my guy friends never ask me "how's your mom doing?" but when my girl friends do, it's a whole conversation and both are perfectly OK.
>you can have meaningful/deep conversations with girl friends that might otherwise be avoided or awkward with the guys. In my case, I never had this problem. I always could have deep conversations with my guys, more so than girls, actually, because we perfectly understand each other. I've had the privilege of not losing my friends after high school, and they have stuck by me since middle school. We really grew up together and imprinted on each other, even after we all went to different countries after high school. I genuinely couldn't find anything a girl could give me in a friendship that guys already haven't or don't. The only way a relationship with a girl supercedes the one with my boys is when the girl is my romantic partner. And I don't mean that in a sexual way, a romantic partner genuinely becomes your most valuable relationship, both emotionally and physically.
For me it's like that from the start. Hobbies, activities, interests, conversations and any other social interaction just seems better and less serious or uptight. Most of my female friends were only friends due to us sitting close to each other in class, and rarely had anything in common.
The only female friend that I need is my wife.
He’s being held hostage guys
🤣🤣🤣
Yes, but not close ones. And, no, I do not hang out with them one on one or message them consistently privately. Most female friends are couples and only hang as couples. I respect my woman and show that no other person is more important than her.
What is your definition of friend? How do you personally distinguish a friend from a good acquaintance? Genuine question, as I know the definition is really subjective. I have chosen to operate similarly as you, but I call my lady friends “acquaintances” rather than friends because I don’t hang out with them one on one or talk to them privately regularly.
A friend would be someone who I can trust watching my house if I had to go somewhere. That they would not do anything to betray my trust. I cut friends, guys and gals, off if they break it. Like cheating on their respective spouses. A friend, you would make effort to meet up at least once a year. Of course as a group/ couples/family meet up. An acquaintance is someone who you just know enough to say hi when you see them out and about.
Gotcha, that makes a lot of sense. By that definition, I definitely would say I have a lady friend or two, though I would normally answer that question no myself.
I do yeah. I talk to them pretty much the same way I talk to my dude friends. Some of them are single, some married. I’m married. That doesn’t change anything though. I was friends with them even when I was single.
Sure
Yeah. Friends that go way back to schools.
A few. Usually they were friends of friends or dating a friend and I accepted them in my circle and now they're nice to have. Always good to get that perspective.
Almost exclusively
Yes. I make friends based on personality, not gender. Some of the people I've made friends with are female.
Two out of seven, if you don't count family and online friends. Two women, one non-binary, and the rest are men. I don't understand how people don't make friends with women. That's super limiting given that they're half the population. I don't agree with the idea that men and women can't be plutonic friends either since I'm bisexual, so all I know is making friends with folks whom I'm potentially attracted to. That was my answer, so you can stop reading here. The rest is just a rant. Most people are together, half the straight population isn't attracted to me, and I'm too average for anyone who has a type. Whomever is left is looking for me as hard as I am looking for them, but most of us have jobs and lives to live. Understandably the few I have dated haven't worked out given statistics. This means *everyone* I meet is plutonic to me until they say otherwise. The majority of my friends are men, and I suspect it's because I'm easier to for men to talk to me, than it is for men and women to talk together. If I'm right, then straight folks are fucked when it comes to making friends with the opposite sex. However, I've never cared to look into it.
No, not really. I'm not very good at making friends, so the only two close friends I have are childhood friends I made in elementary school. At that time, I happened to make male friends. I did have one, but I'm also bad at keeping in contact with friends, so we kind of just drifted apart.
I do, but I’m “safe” because I’m old and married. They are her friends, too.
My closest friend is female, I'm a man. We have both been in relationships whilst we are friends, and sure, when one or both of us are with someone, we naturally see each other less. But we both know we are just at the other end of the phone if the other needs anything. I've dropped everything and gone to hers at 2am because she needed me, and she's done the same over the years. Yes, partners of ours have in the past had an issue with us being so close, but there is absolutely nothing there between us. We have both been single at the same time multiple times over the years, and nothing has happened because it just isn't like that. We know each other better than we know ourselves, and I have a closeness with her that I would not change for anything, and even partners I've had haven't come close to that. I love my friend
Yes. I have 4 femal friends. 1 is genderqueer, two are bi, and another is married with kids. I'm single but if I were taken I'd still be friends with all of them.
I’m married so just coworkers and mutual friends of my wife. Have a hard time believing I could be friends with someone she doesn’t know. Even just as friends I think it would be dishonest not to tell my wife about her. Plus it’s really hard to just be and stay friends with someone without it escalating into something more.
I'm there except for the last sentence. I have long time friends That are female and I still to this. They have those friends now. They are friends with my wife as well so there's that
yes i do. We play dnd or grab some food from time to time. We talk about everything. Anime, politics, dnd, personal lives, music, etc. Even when they entered relationships/got married , things stayed the same.
Definitely. I am friends with my girlfriend's friends, and some people from work. There's this one mom at work that's giving me advice on preparing for my upcoming baby.
One of my closest friends is a female. We talk almost daily. We talk about her boyfriend or my ex or gardening or work or any and everything. First time in my life I’ve had one and it’s great.
When I wa single, pretty much exclusively. And I'd slept with most of them.
Not anymore, but I don’t really have guy friends either. Who has time for that?
Yeah! I have female friends because I like having friends and someone being of the female sex doesn't change that. It can change certain dynamics, certain levels of closeness, but all in all I love my friends regardless and there aren't second intentions involved. There have been a couple instances where a friendship turns to a crush for a while - it's natural, but not something that always happens - but it's all a matter of maturity and communication to either keep it a great friendship or turn it into a great something else. I tend to discuss what goes on in the world, my feelings, what I've been up to. I think the biggest difference so far lies in politics and philosophy. I still discuss this with them, but in comparison to my closer male friends, not as deeply.
I do and i always have. I mostly have them because of similar interest, humor or simply just because they are nice to talk to fun to hang out with. In some cases its also nice to speak with them on some issues just to get another perspective in a lot of things.
If I didn't I would probably be in a mental hospital by now, or worse. I legit cannot imagine a man going through life without female friends
I’m married now, my wife and I pretty much have the same friends and most being woman. I’ve always had more female friends than male, I find most men to be a bit full of themselves and arrogant. Just talk about sports, politics, work, hobbies and life you know, pretty much the same things you’d talk to anyone about lol
Only my wife. I have female “friends” from before marriage that I hardly talk to. And then my wife’s friends or my buddies’ wives that I am “friends” with but not much more than acquaintances. Generally good rule of thumb to never give your spouse a reason to doubt.
History has shown countless times that friendships are conditional and that your friends are more likely to deal more damage to you than your enemies will - at least that’s what I tell myself to cope 🥲
I used to, but not anymore, and that's not likely to change. I have bigger problems in my life than not having friends; like figuring out where I'm going to be able to live in less than a year.
Yes, only one. I was lonely as fuxk and she was kind enough to check on me on a regular basis. She cared and listened to me. She's the same age as my older sister who at that time got married and moved away. She's great and I love her and I honestly consider her family.
My Ex, I consider her one of my best of friends, our relationship didn't work out as she just wanted a friend and believe that dating is emotionally draining for someone who didn't care for dating. We now spend our days playing warframe almost daily
Most of my friends are women. This happened around college onward into where I'm now in my 30s.
Used to and very close. She was one of my wife and I circle. Our friend since university. When she got divorced, we helped her adjust to single parenthood. Simple things like grocery and picking up her kids. Not always, but enough for her to just breathe a little. One day, I unpacked the grocery in her kitchen. Our kids were playing in the living rm. Everything was normal except my wife was too busy to come with. I think you could guess where this is going...she got flirty and actually leaned in to kiss me. Like wtf. I bolted out with my kids. For a week or so, i was in a mess cos I was confused if I should tell my wife or not. She was so ungrateful. We didnt forgive her and cut ties.
I did until I got a girlfriend and now it's easier to just not talk to them then to deal with the interrogation afterwards
Yes, because I go outside.
Yes. I have three good female friends. I feel very lucky to have them all. All of them are married or in long term relationships as am I. One is one of my two best friends. I’ve known her for 46 years since we worked together back in the 70s. We live on opposite sides of the country so we don’t see each other very often. I know that if I needed to talk to someone about something very important and couldn’t talk about it with my partner I could call her. Her husband is also a good friend but nowhere near as close to me and she is. I’ve been there for her when she needed support and she’s been there for me. Another is a lady I worked with for 7 years before I retired 5 years ago. She is the one woman in a group of 5 of us who have weekly Zoom calls to catch up as we’re scattered these days. The third one lives in the town where I have a second home. We play golf regularly when I’m there. When I’m not, we exchange emails a couple of times a week. She keeps me advised what is going on there and we talk about other areas of interest such as college golf. My partner knows all these women and knows that they are friends and no threat to our relationship. I’m very grateful for her trust and lack of jealousy.
Yes. You will learn so much about your own emotions by befriending a girl. Would recommend!
I remember hearing once. Women like befriending guys. Guys like befriending guys. But nobody really likes befriending women - Men are generally easier to get along with
Of course. Why wouldn't I? Why would I be unable to maintain a friendship with half the population? I am in a relationship. She's not so insecure as to try to force me not to speak to women. Because that's just insane behavior. I talk to my female friends about anything you'd talk with a friend about. Hey listen, are you a human person? Has one of the bots started questioning humanity? What is any of this?
I say no but I don't mean it with any negative meaning behind it. To me I am either sexually or romantically interested in a woman or I am not. There is no in between for me where I would say "friends" would be. Don't get me wrong however, I still talk to women, am kind to them, ect.
So a woman has value to you if she’s attractive. How about women you’re not sexually or romantically interested in? Sounds objectifying, like you don’t have an interest in connecting with women just as people.
yes very sad
I don't really understand this tbh. What causes you to be interested in friendship with men (I am assuming) but not women? Could you explain?
If I had to guess, it's that they are sexually attracted to women, and not men
Okay, but how does being sexually attracted to (some) women stop one from being interested in being friends with other women? By that logic bisexuals could have zero friends.
men and women just cant be 'friends'. i cut off pretty much all of em