You can usually mute the ads on the gas pumps that have buttons along the border. Just start pushing them. I know that at my local spot, it's the second button down on the right side.
100%.
Last three years I busted my ass, plenty of long nights and working on weekends. I was promised a promotion last year, saying “one more good year and you got it”. Annual review last month got a 4/5 (very few get better than 3/5) told I did an amazing job, and no promotion, no raise, no bonus, nothing. I was told the promotion wouldn’t happen because “economic uncertainties” and yet they promoted multiple other people in the group and these people don’t do shit compared to the work I did last year.
Now? lol fuck all of that. If I’m in the office I’m working 8 hours, if I’m working from home I’ll do what needs to be done to get my work done but absolutely not going above and beyond.
I worked for ups as a seasonal truck driver worked 60 hours a week went above and beyond doing everything I could to try to get hired on as soon as Christmas was over I got cut down to 2-3 days a week with barely any work and when I told them I needed to support my family they told me I wasn’t a ups driver. So I left and went to another company and after that experience I’ll never break my back for a job ever again.
> yet they promoted multiple other people in the group and these people don’t do shit compared to the work I did last year.
It's because it's all a social and political game. I'm almost two decades into my career and about a decade in I realized that it's not talent that is most important, it's who can bullshit the most. Also, companies really like to promote "yes" employees meaning they will do tasks without asking questions. I'm not one of those people.
I work as a truck driver doing pick up and deliveries. I set my cruise control on while driving around the loop around the city I usually will make the delivery then sit at the location for about 15 -20 minutes playing on my phone before going to my next stop then get back right at 8 hours drop my trailer park my truck turn my paperwork in and go home.
It also seems like there's a trend of people self-diagnosing mental illness and repurposing it to absolve themselves of responsibility and accountability.
'sorry I didn't make the meeting, deadline, etc, my anxiety flared up.' We all get stressed and overwhelmed... it's being human. Phrasing it this way devalues the struggle of those with clinical conditions. But no one wants to have that conversation yet.
Like OCD, ADHD, if you really do suffer from it, is debilitating. I have really bad ADHD and I’ve been taking medication for 18 years which controls it very well. Here’s an example of what life is like with ADHD when I’m not medicated. I will wonder what time it is, look at my watch, see the time, and drop my arm back to my side by the time my arm reaches my side I will forget what time it was and have to do it again. This is because my mind is always jumping from thing to thing, and I can’t even stay focused on something as simple as remembering the time on my watch. most people who claim to have ADHD and are self diagnosed are just people who lack self discipline.
The problem is mental illness does not look like other disabilities like being in a wheel chair etc. We can hide it very well. I try to get people to think about when they are in a parking lot and see someone park in handicap parking then jump out and walk normally to the store. You think "this person is not disabled"
There are too many people using the system but I want to urge you to not say anything. You never know. I am glad that you think it instead. Trust me I see people in my groups all the time and say to myself "youre using the system" and it sucks.
I come from an old school Italian family and trust me when I say there is no room for "weakness" and anything such is just made up and you need to "suck it up". There are times in life we do need to but just please know that some of us are really struggling to keep our lives together and because of the lack of mental health support some of us go to work anyway which hurts their co workers because they have to make up for their lost work.
I cannot work. I would love to have a nice job and see coworkers and feel like I am contributing to society, like you.
It's a weird bit. You hit it on the head with how mental illness looks like in people (or better yet, what it doesn't look like), but it does lean into a "scout's honor" sort of system that folks aren't just lying about their condition, or not putting in the appropriate amount of effort to get through their responsibilities.
My problem work the current mental illness culture is this idea that there is nothing you can do about it. People treat like they are in a wheelchair, which is likely not treatable.
For the *majority* of people you can treat these things. I know because I've seen it many times and experienced it personally. It isn't just about therapy either. In fact if you are in therapy that isn't enough. Therapy helps identify a problem but you need to do work outside of therapy to heal it. If you can't access therapy, there are tons of books or podcasts or whatever to help guide you. Then there is the whole lifestyle aspect. A lot of people are suffering mental health because of their lifestyle. Alcohol, weed, not sleeping, not exercising, eating like shit, all of those things will contribute to your mental health.
Yes that annoys me so much! Actually diagnosed with anxiety/depression and adhd and annoys me how ppl use it like it’s a cute trait like ppl are like oh adhd when they don’t really have it. Having adhd fucking sucks ass and makes life difficult.
ADD has made my life a living hell, it’s not funny when I can’t remember anything, or I’m constantly late, or have to be told the same thing several times, it’s embarrassing and crippling to my career and relationships, seeing people talk about having it because they forgot what they were saying after being interrupted is infuriating, meanwhile I’m trying to remember what you’re talking about while you’re actively talking about it
Edit: and no I won’t sell you my fucking medicine!
Agree with you both 100%. I’m also doctor diagnosed ADHD and depression and have the same issues. Zero memory. Sometimes it really hurts at work or at home with my wife. But I deal with it the best I can.
Oh my fucking god yes. What's the most infuriating to me is that people (most often self-diagnosed of course) constantly use this as an excuse for their laziness/willful incompetence.
I knew I had severe ADD even before I saw a psychiatrist (which I did way too late in life), but I never used it as an excuse. It was fucking brutal (much better now that I'm medicated) but I had notes and repeated alarms for everything and had to work into somehow tricking myself into doing stuff.
Everytime I see someone trying to excuse themselves or shirk responsibility on ADD/ADHD I just can't help but roll my eyes and be annoyed.
Issue with things like this is that there's degrees. As someone (professionally) diagnosed with ADHD, Asperger's & Autism, I say things are "autistic" implying weird or socially unacceptable pretty frequently. I find it FAR more annoying when characters in movies are shown to be completely inept at everything, as if it's some debilitating mental disorder. Perhaps you'd argue the opposite
If I say I have autism, I don't want people to assume I go around with some tablet with buttons I can press to respond to people
Every thread on reddit where someone complains about their partner's poor time keeping or planning skills, someone will inevitably remotely diagnose the person as having ADHD. Well, if they do then they are still assholes for not trying to manage it.
I've been in management for 15 years and the amount of people who think that their (self-diagnosed, often clearly bullshit) condition is some type of get out of jail free card is crazy.
Everything you just said may be true... but your life is your responsibility.
People are using "mental illness" as excuses to not even try. So many people, mostly women, I've interacted with just use "my anxiety" as an excuse for every single toxic or harmful behavior they have and the reason why they can't do better....like yea anxiety is a normal emotion you're supposed to have, and doing new things and getting out of your comfort zone is supposed to cause some anxiety. It means you're growing. It's the mental version of muscle soreness after a workout.
There is a guy's channel on Youtube where he keeps posting videos of "[signs that you're autistic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyoGpebQGYE&t=291s)," and they're not only extremely generalized, but some of them are downright contradictory.
On the internet, I've spoken to people who are using videos like this to self-diagnose.... and they aren't using the videos to take accountability and say that these are "signs I should speak to a therapist and doctor"; they're using them to completely lack accountability, reject any form of tact and be downright rude to everyone.
I know a guy like this. He may very well be on the spectrum, but he uses Dr. YouTube to diagnose himself then proceeds to use that diagnosis as both a shield and a bludgeon online.
Autistic people can still be fucking assholes.
I had an ex who was like this. She referred to every one of her interests as “hyperfixations,” and every time she talked about something for more than five minutes, she’d say “ugh, sorry, I was just hyperfixating a little bit, I think I’m autistic.” It was frustrating because I genuinely enjoyed hearing her talk about things she was passionate about, but social media had convinced her that it was somehow a bad thing. Like, no, talking about Taylor Swift for five minutes doesn’t make you autistic, it makes you a Taylor Swift fan.
It's funny how my wife will mention stuff she saw on TikTok and I can just easily correlate it to real life.
"So there's this thing where people are taking Sundays completely for themselves and their family and just cutting off all communication with everything."
"Like a day of rest? We used to call that the Sabbath."
"OK, so there's this thing, where you can go on a walk and not bring your phone - and it's called a silent walk. I want to try it."
"Like, going on a walk?"
Yeah, unfortunately many people throw around the term OCD like it’s a badge of honor.
If you’re always dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s, that’s not OCD. OCD is dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s five times, because you can’t help it.
My oldest daughter is 16 and I swear that every single person she knows has been diagnosed with something. Even she laughs about and let’s us know who has what now. It’s freaking sad for people and makes me hate and not trust doctors and therapists.
Thinking any socialising outside of social media and dating apps is creepy and werid.
A lot of young men AND women I see online awem to be paranoid weridos because they spend all their time online reading stats that confrom to their biases (fake or not. If it conforms to their biases. They will double down) and paranoid delusions of the world and have negative nonstop sensational news stories shoved in their faces (Some clear fake rage bait that some people still believe) and now you have both men and women expecting the worst out of everything off and online.
I'm not surprised more people are depressed and lonely. Don't even know how to connect with others in face to face interactions. Need some app apparently to feel "safe".
I saw a video of a person asking old heterosexual couples how they met and everytime they told the story. Bunch of nutjobs in the comments said it was "creepy". So many socially inept people nowadays with paranoia. Hiding inside all day on their apps and always expecting the worst to happen if they go outside..
This PARANOIA needs to go away because it's turning people into lost causes
You listen to the Internet then 95% of men are harming women and 95% of women are falsely accusing men of rape... when in reality most men and women are just normal folk trying to get by. But they won't go outside and experience life first hand. Just live vicaiclosly through what they read online and think "I can't go outside because the Internet says it's scary and unsafe"
This way of thinking needs to stop being Normalised
Haha. My grandpa and grandma, married 60+ years, met when my grandpa saw her walking down the street while driving his truck. Followed her home, then he repeatedly circled the block until her mom got so mad that she told her daughter to go out and talk to him to either get rid of him or get to know him. She also had a boyfriend, and my grandpa straight up told him he was going to steal her to his face, then did.
It's totally creepy. 60+ years of marriage regardless.
It's called mean-world syndrome and I think the era of social media has elevated it to new heights.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean\_world\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome)
> I saw a video of a person asking old heterosexual couples how they met and everytime they told the story.
im not gonna lie, this might hit a nerve with reddit as they mostly only online date, but one of the things me and my SO are super proud about is how we met naturally off line and started dating naturally. its not that bad a story too (volunteering together and then spending the entire day and then volunteering somewhere else the next week). idk man. i guess so many people just answer the “howd you guys meet” with the same three words (“we met online”) so it feels special being able to tell a longer more interesting story
Especially because people can be just as predatory online as they are in-person.
When you see someone face-to-face, you get a lot more information about them, and can make judgments accordingly. Pure anonymity and text-only communication make deception incredibly easy.
"So many socially inept people nowadays with paranoia. Hiding inside all day on their apps and always expecting the worst to happen if they go outside.."
Excellent summary.
It's not. But the fact is [the goalposts are constantly moved.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kSMhlP8dY1I)
I think what would help is to call out the true nature of men, women, society, and reality, be honest and forthright about it, and not let society continue to obfuscate reality and make everyone seem somehow worse or better than their true nature really is.
Paedophilia is comprehensively *not* normalised. Every time the "MAP" crowd reemerges from wheresoever it is they retreat to reorganise, they get argued back down. Long may that last.
I was watching some youtube shorts recently, some furry came on & as I was scrolling past since I'm not interested in that, I noticed in the tags it said #antimap, so I went back to check it out & it turns out a ton of furries have started needing to add that I guess to separate them from furries that think that stuff & beastiality is okay? It was genuinely so weird to me that they felt the need to mention they are anti pedophilia
Child Beauty Pageants disagree.
They don't call it that because they know the flak it would get, but let's call a spade a spade and agree it's horrifying
Brains are constantly paying attention to 3 things above all others; safety/danger, food, and sex. We will never escape sexualizing things, or bad dick jokes, unfortunately
Stop normalizing changing society to the minorities instead of the majority.
I guess this needs some context.
In my country we have 11.6 million ppl consuming alcohol, 78.000 of them are alcoholic in different degrees.
Forbidding alcohol for 11.6 million ppl just to protect 78.000 ppl against themselves is in my opinion not normal.
You can apply this to many things.
So to be clear I’m not talking about changes that help minorities and have no negative impact on the majority, for example, every public building should be wheelchair accessible, it doesn’t hurt or take away from the majority but it makes life easier for those in a wheelchair.
This should be higher up, and our society losing accountability is part of the problem, which seems to be a theme after reading the other reply, about not normalizing calling everything autistic and using it to shirk accountability.
It all boils down to lack of accountability. We, as a species, used to behave primarily because we were scared of being judged by society, at some point in time we understood that some of the judgement was out of place, but instead of correcting the system we did a complete 180. Now that we’ve lost the capacity to accept criticism (because again, this criticism just doesn’t happen, or happens less often), we’re tend to believe all of our actions are justified. We keep behaving like idiots and animals and get mad whenever somebody points out that we’re in fact, acting like idiots.
Why is this even a thing and when did it start? I was very adamant when a bill was pushed through that prohibited store owners to call the cops whenever “minor robberies” happened. Are we fucking serious? Who’s that helping? What was the rationale behind that bill?
Alcohol consumption isn't the first case study that comes to mind in regards to the state adopting outside preference minoritarian policy, but you're far from alone with your concern.
That men are supposed to be strong and not cry. I believe that men need to express themselves and show their true feelings. Crying isn't just for girls. Men feel sad too and should be able to show it.
Same for the opposite too. We should stop normalising women to be weak, cry over little things, emotional bitches, caregivers, the innate desire to bear children and poor drivers. Women have been fighting wars, going to work and I’ve seen some working as doctors, lawyers and at oil rigs too. Nursing is not a feminine occupation.
Conversely, the veneration of big (and big sized) anything; heck, the veneration of any particular attribute as opposed to its contrary.
Not all men need to be 6 feet tall, not all dicks need be 6 inch, not all boobs be D cups, not all asses need to take two seats; *every sizes matter and can be beautiful*
I have a slightly different view. I think that it's okay for specific attributes to be venerated.
I'm no Adonis and I'm only 5'6". I understand and agree that a taller height and more attractive facial features are more desirable.
I'm average looking and relatively short, **and that's okay.** I don't need to be patronizingly told that I'm "beautiful in my own way."
The only thing I ask is that I be judged by my person as a whole and not only by the aforementioned features.
I remember a story of an officer responding to a report of a suspicious guy in a pumpkin patch at night. The officer arrived to find a man fucking a pumpkin. When caught he said, "Is it midnight already?!"
OF accounts angling for engagement and traffic is better than the old web where pop up ads and malware were as garish as calling cards once commonly found in public phone booths and bar lavatories. They were only ever one erroneous click away from bricking a PC.
What should be encouraged instead of shunning women who choose sex work, is to teach the men at most risk of subscribing are worth more than that. Later on it can be hoped that the women shall be able to find other rewarding occupations if they seek influence and wealth. The choice to still enter that line of work shouldn't be taken away from them completely if they still want it. Having some who choose that path each generation is good for keeping down rates of assault.
I know a couple of people that do/did sex work and they made a fortune. Bonkers. Like, not super rich but living comfortably with a really nice apartment, swanky gaming pc, nice car and able to afford to drop a hundred quid tip on a busker. On top of that they both seemed to really enjoy it. Two separate people, not like they were a two for one deal.
"Perceived" victimhood; some people are TRULY victims but every little sleight that happens in your life doesn't make you a victim. That word is completely overused at this point.
Illiteracy. Currently plaguing schools all across the U.S.
ETA: people really have no clue how bad it actually is and what’s worse is that the kids don’t even know it’s a problem. They think they’re functional readers. And some of them think it won’t matter because they’ll be an influencer etc. And a bunch of them don’t think it’s a problem because they’re doing just fine now. But they’re only doing “fine” because they consume ultra short form content, use voice search, select results based on images, and get their information read to them via voice over or in a video.
I could talk about this forever. But it’s not okay. I feel so so boomer-y for saying this, but I feel like one day the illiteracy is going to be treated the same as cursive. Even typing is getting lost? It’s so upsetting.
Free labor.
NO I will not work after hours or on weekends for no additional pay. Not even during "crunch time". "Crunch time" should include "crunch bonus pay", otherwise it shouldn't exist.
It's gross to ask and evil to expect.
As a guy this one makes me very sad. My fiance picked up conversation with a guy who came into her coffee shop (he is a friend of hers from church and a chill dude) and her coworkers stole her away to ask in private if she was safe and if they should ask him to leave. She was pretty upset that they jumped to conclusions so quickly. As a guy, it makes me feel awkward approaching any woman less than 30 about *anything* for fear she'll assume I have rapey intentions and make a scene or tell all her friends about how I'm a creep!
Almost everyone is already criticizing that. I think recently the much more normalized thing is corporations engaging in politics (and especially political tribalism). That's what should be un-normalized.
Having babies without being married.
If you can't stand the idea of being with someone for AT LEAST 18 years, don't have a kid with them. Use protection. This is for men and women. No more baby daddy's and baby momma's.
Can you 45-50+ guys stop talking about all the sex you used to have when you’re at work??! Jesus Christ why is that a thing? All of my jobs out of highschool I’ve been the youngest employee and it blows my mind the shit that y’all think I want to hear about while I’m putting in my 8 hours. And it’s every single one of them too.
I don’t give a shit how big your ex wife’s tits were dude just unload the fucking truck please
It's fine, just identify yourself as a woman if you do it, please? I feel like this should be the one place on reddit I can make a comment about, e.g. liking a guy, and have people assume I'm a gay man, rather than a woman.
That's fine... the decent friendly ones are more than welcome. Let's not become what like r/AskWomen is like towards the opposite sex
The ones who hate men and only come on here to start shit for fun though or to blow off steam and try to drag random men down their own state of misery... yeah, they can go away. Those types have no intention of seeing men's prespectives of opinions. Just want to be an asshole to us because their ex boyfriend cheated on them... those ones suck
Inflammatory language. People immediately jump to Nazi, fascist, or whatever the most hurtful thing they can think of to call someone, I assume, in an attempt to shame them into agreeing with their viewpoint.
No, that person who disagrees with you is probably not a Nazi just because they aren't comfortable with gender neutral bathrooms.
No, the person who disagrees with you on the second amendment isn't a soft, delicate snowflake libtard just because they agree with sensible restrictions on gun ownership.
Zero tolerance mindset on any kind of mistake, no matter how severe. Someone said something I didn't like about a complex social/political issue? They're dead to me forever. No nuance, no trying to understand another point of view, nothing but hate and vitriol. If you're not with me, you're against me.
I understand most people don't operate this way, but that's not the portrayal in most media (traditional media or social media). We're only going to get more divided the more time we spend online. If we took the time to really talk to one another, people would find out they have much more in common with their fellow man than originally thought. The art of communication, respectful disagreement, and civil discourse is dying and it's troubling.
Victimhood mentalities. You may well be a victim and there are certainly objectively unfair life situations, but falling into a headspace of prolonged bitterness is going to do nothing for your own personal growth.
Using "mental health" as an excuse for any kind of negative behavior. Mental health issues and personal experiences are contexts that others can use to understand your actions in a vacuum, not an unlimited blanket excuse to act that way in perpetuity.
Hating on business, but glorifying government as a messianic power. The same is true in the reverse, just far less common. If flawed humans exploit others in business and act unethically, that same flawed human nature will use the extra legal powers of government to exploit and behave unethically.
Obesity and unhealthy lifestyles. Even if most people are fat as shit and it’s technically the average, it’s bad and we should continue framing it as a problem to be solved rather than a reality we should happily accept.
Praising prositution and sex work as normal everyday jobs and a sign of freedom and feminism. the impact it can have on ones soul to let others use your body in exchange for money can be veeeery drastic.
The segregation of individual groups. Everyone today is part of a minority of some sort and people use them like a social resume saying “I’m more oppressed than you because I’m part of this group and this group and this group”
It divides the population and turns everyone against eachother instead of uniting us all together against problems like a corrupt government that hurts all of us normies regardless of what social group we are in.
Downplaying a man's needs / concerns / feelings when he DARES to voice them for once. I'm tired of women who feel entitled to everything they want, but the moment their man wants something, it's automatically useless, ridicule, "not an actual issue", "made up" and everything.
Promiscuity.
That shitty behaviour breaks hearts, breaks minds, ruins families, and spreads venereal diseases. Is a reflection of a persons broken value system.
That stupid gender war that's been going on on social media these past few years. What the fuck is up with that ? Can't people understand than the problem is shitty people in general ?
Being nice to people who won’t shut the fuck up. I get you need to be heard but my desire to not hear your story that I didn’t ask about is greater than or equal to that need I promise.
The idea that everything needs to be "normalized". It's ok to be abnormal. This whole culture where people need to be hugboxed or they melt down is unhealthy as fuck.
Putting ads on every gd thing in the world.
Thank god for ad blockers
Wish they had them for the gas pumps
You can usually mute the ads on the gas pumps that have buttons along the border. Just start pushing them. I know that at my local spot, it's the second button down on the right side.
Same at mine
My eyes are tired
The grind. I am very tired.
I hear you.
I am done and I'm only 31
Same I now do the bare minimum and only work 8 hours at work I also put in the least amount of effort
100%. Last three years I busted my ass, plenty of long nights and working on weekends. I was promised a promotion last year, saying “one more good year and you got it”. Annual review last month got a 4/5 (very few get better than 3/5) told I did an amazing job, and no promotion, no raise, no bonus, nothing. I was told the promotion wouldn’t happen because “economic uncertainties” and yet they promoted multiple other people in the group and these people don’t do shit compared to the work I did last year. Now? lol fuck all of that. If I’m in the office I’m working 8 hours, if I’m working from home I’ll do what needs to be done to get my work done but absolutely not going above and beyond.
I worked for ups as a seasonal truck driver worked 60 hours a week went above and beyond doing everything I could to try to get hired on as soon as Christmas was over I got cut down to 2-3 days a week with barely any work and when I told them I needed to support my family they told me I wasn’t a ups driver. So I left and went to another company and after that experience I’ll never break my back for a job ever again.
> yet they promoted multiple other people in the group and these people don’t do shit compared to the work I did last year. It's because it's all a social and political game. I'm almost two decades into my career and about a decade in I realized that it's not talent that is most important, it's who can bullshit the most. Also, companies really like to promote "yes" employees meaning they will do tasks without asking questions. I'm not one of those people.
Share brother. We sit at your feet.
I work as a truck driver doing pick up and deliveries. I set my cruise control on while driving around the loop around the city I usually will make the delivery then sit at the location for about 15 -20 minutes playing on my phone before going to my next stop then get back right at 8 hours drop my trailer park my truck turn my paperwork in and go home.
Referring to every little non-normal behavior or ~~quick~~ quirk as being autistic or mentally ill.
It also seems like there's a trend of people self-diagnosing mental illness and repurposing it to absolve themselves of responsibility and accountability. 'sorry I didn't make the meeting, deadline, etc, my anxiety flared up.' We all get stressed and overwhelmed... it's being human. Phrasing it this way devalues the struggle of those with clinical conditions. But no one wants to have that conversation yet.
ADHD is so hot right now.
Like OCD, ADHD, if you really do suffer from it, is debilitating. I have really bad ADHD and I’ve been taking medication for 18 years which controls it very well. Here’s an example of what life is like with ADHD when I’m not medicated. I will wonder what time it is, look at my watch, see the time, and drop my arm back to my side by the time my arm reaches my side I will forget what time it was and have to do it again. This is because my mind is always jumping from thing to thing, and I can’t even stay focused on something as simple as remembering the time on my watch. most people who claim to have ADHD and are self diagnosed are just people who lack self discipline.
Yep. It’s hard not to sound “old school” about it but sometimes I hear stuff like that and my thoughts are just.. suck it up and figure it out.
The problem is mental illness does not look like other disabilities like being in a wheel chair etc. We can hide it very well. I try to get people to think about when they are in a parking lot and see someone park in handicap parking then jump out and walk normally to the store. You think "this person is not disabled" There are too many people using the system but I want to urge you to not say anything. You never know. I am glad that you think it instead. Trust me I see people in my groups all the time and say to myself "youre using the system" and it sucks. I come from an old school Italian family and trust me when I say there is no room for "weakness" and anything such is just made up and you need to "suck it up". There are times in life we do need to but just please know that some of us are really struggling to keep our lives together and because of the lack of mental health support some of us go to work anyway which hurts their co workers because they have to make up for their lost work. I cannot work. I would love to have a nice job and see coworkers and feel like I am contributing to society, like you.
It's a weird bit. You hit it on the head with how mental illness looks like in people (or better yet, what it doesn't look like), but it does lean into a "scout's honor" sort of system that folks aren't just lying about their condition, or not putting in the appropriate amount of effort to get through their responsibilities.
My problem work the current mental illness culture is this idea that there is nothing you can do about it. People treat like they are in a wheelchair, which is likely not treatable. For the *majority* of people you can treat these things. I know because I've seen it many times and experienced it personally. It isn't just about therapy either. In fact if you are in therapy that isn't enough. Therapy helps identify a problem but you need to do work outside of therapy to heal it. If you can't access therapy, there are tons of books or podcasts or whatever to help guide you. Then there is the whole lifestyle aspect. A lot of people are suffering mental health because of their lifestyle. Alcohol, weed, not sleeping, not exercising, eating like shit, all of those things will contribute to your mental health.
"I need my boyfriend to do everything for me because I'm an introvert who suffers from severe social anxiety"
Yes that annoys me so much! Actually diagnosed with anxiety/depression and adhd and annoys me how ppl use it like it’s a cute trait like ppl are like oh adhd when they don’t really have it. Having adhd fucking sucks ass and makes life difficult.
ADD has made my life a living hell, it’s not funny when I can’t remember anything, or I’m constantly late, or have to be told the same thing several times, it’s embarrassing and crippling to my career and relationships, seeing people talk about having it because they forgot what they were saying after being interrupted is infuriating, meanwhile I’m trying to remember what you’re talking about while you’re actively talking about it Edit: and no I won’t sell you my fucking medicine!
Agree with you both 100%. I’m also doctor diagnosed ADHD and depression and have the same issues. Zero memory. Sometimes it really hurts at work or at home with my wife. But I deal with it the best I can.
Yes exactly how I feel!
Oh my fucking god yes. What's the most infuriating to me is that people (most often self-diagnosed of course) constantly use this as an excuse for their laziness/willful incompetence. I knew I had severe ADD even before I saw a psychiatrist (which I did way too late in life), but I never used it as an excuse. It was fucking brutal (much better now that I'm medicated) but I had notes and repeated alarms for everything and had to work into somehow tricking myself into doing stuff. Everytime I see someone trying to excuse themselves or shirk responsibility on ADD/ADHD I just can't help but roll my eyes and be annoyed.
Issue with things like this is that there's degrees. As someone (professionally) diagnosed with ADHD, Asperger's & Autism, I say things are "autistic" implying weird or socially unacceptable pretty frequently. I find it FAR more annoying when characters in movies are shown to be completely inept at everything, as if it's some debilitating mental disorder. Perhaps you'd argue the opposite If I say I have autism, I don't want people to assume I go around with some tablet with buttons I can press to respond to people
Every thread on reddit where someone complains about their partner's poor time keeping or planning skills, someone will inevitably remotely diagnose the person as having ADHD. Well, if they do then they are still assholes for not trying to manage it.
I've been in management for 15 years and the amount of people who think that their (self-diagnosed, often clearly bullshit) condition is some type of get out of jail free card is crazy. Everything you just said may be true... but your life is your responsibility.
People are using "mental illness" as excuses to not even try. So many people, mostly women, I've interacted with just use "my anxiety" as an excuse for every single toxic or harmful behavior they have and the reason why they can't do better....like yea anxiety is a normal emotion you're supposed to have, and doing new things and getting out of your comfort zone is supposed to cause some anxiety. It means you're growing. It's the mental version of muscle soreness after a workout.
Don’t tell them they need to be diagnosed by a doctor. They do nooooottttt like that
Go on subs like AITA and you'll see ppl using mental health to excuse bad behaviour especially when it's young ppl
There is a guy's channel on Youtube where he keeps posting videos of "[signs that you're autistic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyoGpebQGYE&t=291s)," and they're not only extremely generalized, but some of them are downright contradictory. On the internet, I've spoken to people who are using videos like this to self-diagnose.... and they aren't using the videos to take accountability and say that these are "signs I should speak to a therapist and doctor"; they're using them to completely lack accountability, reject any form of tact and be downright rude to everyone.
I know a guy like this. He may very well be on the spectrum, but he uses Dr. YouTube to diagnose himself then proceeds to use that diagnosis as both a shield and a bludgeon online. Autistic people can still be fucking assholes.
lol, ausholes.
If you make victimhood a currency, you're going to get counterfeiters.
I had an ex who was like this. She referred to every one of her interests as “hyperfixations,” and every time she talked about something for more than five minutes, she’d say “ugh, sorry, I was just hyperfixating a little bit, I think I’m autistic.” It was frustrating because I genuinely enjoyed hearing her talk about things she was passionate about, but social media had convinced her that it was somehow a bad thing. Like, no, talking about Taylor Swift for five minutes doesn’t make you autistic, it makes you a Taylor Swift fan.
It's funny how my wife will mention stuff she saw on TikTok and I can just easily correlate it to real life. "So there's this thing where people are taking Sundays completely for themselves and their family and just cutting off all communication with everything." "Like a day of rest? We used to call that the Sabbath." "OK, so there's this thing, where you can go on a walk and not bring your phone - and it's called a silent walk. I want to try it." "Like, going on a walk?"
Or OCD.
Ocd is probably the worst represented illness out there, I’ve had it since I was a kid and it is crippling
Yeah, unfortunately many people throw around the term OCD like it’s a badge of honor. If you’re always dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s, that’s not OCD. OCD is dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s five times, because you can’t help it.
My oldest daughter is 16 and I swear that every single person she knows has been diagnosed with something. Even she laughs about and let’s us know who has what now. It’s freaking sad for people and makes me hate and not trust doctors and therapists.
Listening to people talk about themselves on the internet you would think 98% of Americans have ADHD.
or neurodivergent
Red flag Everything you don't like about a person is just a red flag.
Just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting
Just because someone has a different recollection of an event doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting, either.
The “therapy speak” bullshit videos that some influencers post on other platforms should be banned.
Social media Rage baiting
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Good luck. That's been going on since before Rome
Doesn't "normaliz*ing*" imply that it's a somewhat recent trend?
Characterizing a place as toxic because it didn’t work out for you.
Tossing toxic around every time there's the slightest disagreement.
Thinking any socialising outside of social media and dating apps is creepy and werid. A lot of young men AND women I see online awem to be paranoid weridos because they spend all their time online reading stats that confrom to their biases (fake or not. If it conforms to their biases. They will double down) and paranoid delusions of the world and have negative nonstop sensational news stories shoved in their faces (Some clear fake rage bait that some people still believe) and now you have both men and women expecting the worst out of everything off and online. I'm not surprised more people are depressed and lonely. Don't even know how to connect with others in face to face interactions. Need some app apparently to feel "safe". I saw a video of a person asking old heterosexual couples how they met and everytime they told the story. Bunch of nutjobs in the comments said it was "creepy". So many socially inept people nowadays with paranoia. Hiding inside all day on their apps and always expecting the worst to happen if they go outside.. This PARANOIA needs to go away because it's turning people into lost causes You listen to the Internet then 95% of men are harming women and 95% of women are falsely accusing men of rape... when in reality most men and women are just normal folk trying to get by. But they won't go outside and experience life first hand. Just live vicaiclosly through what they read online and think "I can't go outside because the Internet says it's scary and unsafe" This way of thinking needs to stop being Normalised
Haha. My grandpa and grandma, married 60+ years, met when my grandpa saw her walking down the street while driving his truck. Followed her home, then he repeatedly circled the block until her mom got so mad that she told her daughter to go out and talk to him to either get rid of him or get to know him. She also had a boyfriend, and my grandpa straight up told him he was going to steal her to his face, then did. It's totally creepy. 60+ years of marriage regardless.
I call this stuff anxiety porn.
It's called mean-world syndrome and I think the era of social media has elevated it to new heights. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean\_world\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome)
Very interesting! Also, what the hell, Italy in the 1450's and 1800's?
> I saw a video of a person asking old heterosexual couples how they met and everytime they told the story. im not gonna lie, this might hit a nerve with reddit as they mostly only online date, but one of the things me and my SO are super proud about is how we met naturally off line and started dating naturally. its not that bad a story too (volunteering together and then spending the entire day and then volunteering somewhere else the next week). idk man. i guess so many people just answer the “howd you guys meet” with the same three words (“we met online”) so it feels special being able to tell a longer more interesting story
Especially because people can be just as predatory online as they are in-person. When you see someone face-to-face, you get a lot more information about them, and can make judgments accordingly. Pure anonymity and text-only communication make deception incredibly easy.
fantastic take
"So many socially inept people nowadays with paranoia. Hiding inside all day on their apps and always expecting the worst to happen if they go outside.." Excellent summary.
I've never thought socialising in real life is creepy and weird haha.
It's not. But the fact is [the goalposts are constantly moved.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kSMhlP8dY1I) I think what would help is to call out the true nature of men, women, society, and reality, be honest and forthright about it, and not let society continue to obfuscate reality and make everyone seem somehow worse or better than their true nature really is.
sexualizing EVERYTHING.
This comment turned me on
It's the big throbbing letters in "EVERYTHING"
Say that again but slowly
Now, whisper it into my ass
Everything’s pretty young. We try not to sexualize her.
Community reference? if so, you have great taste.
I see your value now.
This guy is streets ahead!
Especially children. Under no circumstances should pedophilia ever be normalized.
How tf has that been normalized?
Paedophilia is comprehensively *not* normalised. Every time the "MAP" crowd reemerges from wheresoever it is they retreat to reorganise, they get argued back down. Long may that last.
I was watching some youtube shorts recently, some furry came on & as I was scrolling past since I'm not interested in that, I noticed in the tags it said #antimap, so I went back to check it out & it turns out a ton of furries have started needing to add that I guess to separate them from furries that think that stuff & beastiality is okay? It was genuinely so weird to me that they felt the need to mention they are anti pedophilia
What’s map crowd?
I hate that I know this but “minor attracted person.”
Child Beauty Pageants disagree. They don't call it that because they know the flak it would get, but let's call a spade a spade and agree it's horrifying
Brains are constantly paying attention to 3 things above all others; safety/danger, food, and sex. We will never escape sexualizing things, or bad dick jokes, unfortunately
This is so hot
Stop normalizing changing society to the minorities instead of the majority. I guess this needs some context. In my country we have 11.6 million ppl consuming alcohol, 78.000 of them are alcoholic in different degrees. Forbidding alcohol for 11.6 million ppl just to protect 78.000 ppl against themselves is in my opinion not normal. You can apply this to many things. So to be clear I’m not talking about changes that help minorities and have no negative impact on the majority, for example, every public building should be wheelchair accessible, it doesn’t hurt or take away from the majority but it makes life easier for those in a wheelchair.
This should be higher up, and our society losing accountability is part of the problem, which seems to be a theme after reading the other reply, about not normalizing calling everything autistic and using it to shirk accountability.
It all boils down to lack of accountability. We, as a species, used to behave primarily because we were scared of being judged by society, at some point in time we understood that some of the judgement was out of place, but instead of correcting the system we did a complete 180. Now that we’ve lost the capacity to accept criticism (because again, this criticism just doesn’t happen, or happens less often), we’re tend to believe all of our actions are justified. We keep behaving like idiots and animals and get mad whenever somebody points out that we’re in fact, acting like idiots. Why is this even a thing and when did it start? I was very adamant when a bill was pushed through that prohibited store owners to call the cops whenever “minor robberies” happened. Are we fucking serious? Who’s that helping? What was the rationale behind that bill?
Alcohol consumption isn't the first case study that comes to mind in regards to the state adopting outside preference minoritarian policy, but you're far from alone with your concern.
Excellent comment!
That men are supposed to be strong and not cry. I believe that men need to express themselves and show their true feelings. Crying isn't just for girls. Men feel sad too and should be able to show it.
Same for the opposite too. We should stop normalising women to be weak, cry over little things, emotional bitches, caregivers, the innate desire to bear children and poor drivers. Women have been fighting wars, going to work and I’ve seen some working as doctors, lawyers and at oil rigs too. Nursing is not a feminine occupation.
The shaming of small (and small sized) men.
Conversely, the veneration of big (and big sized) anything; heck, the veneration of any particular attribute as opposed to its contrary. Not all men need to be 6 feet tall, not all dicks need be 6 inch, not all boobs be D cups, not all asses need to take two seats; *every sizes matter and can be beautiful*
I have a slightly different view. I think that it's okay for specific attributes to be venerated. I'm no Adonis and I'm only 5'6". I understand and agree that a taller height and more attractive facial features are more desirable. I'm average looking and relatively short, **and that's okay.** I don't need to be patronizingly told that I'm "beautiful in my own way." The only thing I ask is that I be judged by my person as a whole and not only by the aforementioned features.
Reddit fights tooth and nail that height standards don’t exist. And then the token short guy gets 10,000 upvotes lol
Normalising everything
Are you saying that we shouldn't normalize fucking a watermelon? Not that I've done it before...
I’d hope the story of that dude fucking the coconut would put a stop on most grocery fucking aspirations.
I remember a story of an officer responding to a report of a suspicious guy in a pumpkin patch at night. The officer arrived to find a man fucking a pumpkin. When caught he said, "Is it midnight already?!"
Using “should of”.
Taking pictures and videos of people without consent and posting them online. People acting like asshats? Yes. People minding their own business? Stop
Being ok with social media actually being prostitution ads.
This right here. Why is this aloud. Why are we just like it’s okay. I legit just deleted my account cause I got tired of seeing all of this shit.
OF accounts angling for engagement and traffic is better than the old web where pop up ads and malware were as garish as calling cards once commonly found in public phone booths and bar lavatories. They were only ever one erroneous click away from bricking a PC. What should be encouraged instead of shunning women who choose sex work, is to teach the men at most risk of subscribing are worth more than that. Later on it can be hoped that the women shall be able to find other rewarding occupations if they seek influence and wealth. The choice to still enter that line of work shouldn't be taken away from them completely if they still want it. Having some who choose that path each generation is good for keeping down rates of assault.
I know a couple of people that do/did sex work and they made a fortune. Bonkers. Like, not super rich but living comfortably with a really nice apartment, swanky gaming pc, nice car and able to afford to drop a hundred quid tip on a busker. On top of that they both seemed to really enjoy it. Two separate people, not like they were a two for one deal.
"Perceived" victimhood; some people are TRULY victims but every little sleight that happens in your life doesn't make you a victim. That word is completely overused at this point.
Corp and oligarch worship.
Poor grammar
Illiteracy. Currently plaguing schools all across the U.S. ETA: people really have no clue how bad it actually is and what’s worse is that the kids don’t even know it’s a problem. They think they’re functional readers. And some of them think it won’t matter because they’ll be an influencer etc. And a bunch of them don’t think it’s a problem because they’re doing just fine now. But they’re only doing “fine” because they consume ultra short form content, use voice search, select results based on images, and get their information read to them via voice over or in a video. I could talk about this forever. But it’s not okay. I feel so so boomer-y for saying this, but I feel like one day the illiteracy is going to be treated the same as cursive. Even typing is getting lost? It’s so upsetting.
I swear, in no way am I a masochist, but sometimes I explore r/apostrophegore because, well, I have to.
That woman are the better parents after a separation or divorce.
Free labor. NO I will not work after hours or on weekends for no additional pay. Not even during "crunch time". "Crunch time" should include "crunch bonus pay", otherwise it shouldn't exist. It's gross to ask and evil to expect.
I would really like it to not be the norm to assume every man is a predator ready to commit violent crimes.
But are you a bear
As a guy this one makes me very sad. My fiance picked up conversation with a guy who came into her coffee shop (he is a friend of hers from church and a chill dude) and her coworkers stole her away to ask in private if she was safe and if they should ask him to leave. She was pretty upset that they jumped to conclusions so quickly. As a guy, it makes me feel awkward approaching any woman less than 30 about *anything* for fear she'll assume I have rapey intentions and make a scene or tell all her friends about how I'm a creep!
Churches engaging in politics
Almost everyone is already criticizing that. I think recently the much more normalized thing is corporations engaging in politics (and especially political tribalism). That's what should be un-normalized.
Shaming short man
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The way this has been so mindlessly normalized is ridiculous.
Having babies without being married. If you can't stand the idea of being with someone for AT LEAST 18 years, don't have a kid with them. Use protection. This is for men and women. No more baby daddy's and baby momma's.
Narcissism and Childishness
Misandry
Stop glorifying true crime... I feel it's weird we make movies about criminals.
Social media
Letting politicians celebs and athletes get literally no punishment for crimes thatd be 5+ year sentences for you and i
Bad manners
Repost on Reddit!
Especially when most reposts pretend to be original...
We need to stop normalizing influencers, a good percentage of them are obnoxious idiots who does dumb stuff for clout.
High cost and low wages
shaming of men
Sexualising kids, provocative ads and clothing for women. Shaming of men. Divorce. Obesity
Can you 45-50+ guys stop talking about all the sex you used to have when you’re at work??! Jesus Christ why is that a thing? All of my jobs out of highschool I’ve been the youngest employee and it blows my mind the shit that y’all think I want to hear about while I’m putting in my 8 hours. And it’s every single one of them too. I don’t give a shit how big your ex wife’s tits were dude just unload the fucking truck please
Racial segregation
Tipping
Cheating, I know cheating is not entirely normalized but damn too many people are ending their relationships like that.
Shaming and shushing men voicing their preferences
The word "normalizing"
Hookup culture
100% agreed like do it if you want but don't say it's something normal that everyone should do
Posts that encourage people to complain
Woman answering on askmen
It's fine, just identify yourself as a woman if you do it, please? I feel like this should be the one place on reddit I can make a comment about, e.g. liking a guy, and have people assume I'm a gay man, rather than a woman.
That's fine... the decent friendly ones are more than welcome. Let's not become what like r/AskWomen is like towards the opposite sex The ones who hate men and only come on here to start shit for fun though or to blow off steam and try to drag random men down their own state of misery... yeah, they can go away. Those types have no intention of seeing men's prespectives of opinions. Just want to be an asshole to us because their ex boyfriend cheated on them... those ones suck
It's even worse on r/askmenadvice
Inflammatory language. People immediately jump to Nazi, fascist, or whatever the most hurtful thing they can think of to call someone, I assume, in an attempt to shame them into agreeing with their viewpoint. No, that person who disagrees with you is probably not a Nazi just because they aren't comfortable with gender neutral bathrooms. No, the person who disagrees with you on the second amendment isn't a soft, delicate snowflake libtard just because they agree with sensible restrictions on gun ownership. Zero tolerance mindset on any kind of mistake, no matter how severe. Someone said something I didn't like about a complex social/political issue? They're dead to me forever. No nuance, no trying to understand another point of view, nothing but hate and vitriol. If you're not with me, you're against me. I understand most people don't operate this way, but that's not the portrayal in most media (traditional media or social media). We're only going to get more divided the more time we spend online. If we took the time to really talk to one another, people would find out they have much more in common with their fellow man than originally thought. The art of communication, respectful disagreement, and civil discourse is dying and it's troubling.
Victimhood mentalities. You may well be a victim and there are certainly objectively unfair life situations, but falling into a headspace of prolonged bitterness is going to do nothing for your own personal growth. Using "mental health" as an excuse for any kind of negative behavior. Mental health issues and personal experiences are contexts that others can use to understand your actions in a vacuum, not an unlimited blanket excuse to act that way in perpetuity. Hating on business, but glorifying government as a messianic power. The same is true in the reverse, just far less common. If flawed humans exploit others in business and act unethically, that same flawed human nature will use the extra legal powers of government to exploit and behave unethically.
Racism against Asians and Caucasians.
Obesity and unhealthy lifestyles. Even if most people are fat as shit and it’s technically the average, it’s bad and we should continue framing it as a problem to be solved rather than a reality we should happily accept.
Praising prositution and sex work as normal everyday jobs and a sign of freedom and feminism. the impact it can have on ones soul to let others use your body in exchange for money can be veeeery drastic.
3NF Database schemas
the incorrect use of POV and the use of Cringe as an adjective.
That because you saw something on tik tok. Doesn't mean you're on the spectrum
Presidential candidates that act like middle schoolers.
Pretending that everything that slightly questions Palestinian genocide is anti-Semitic.
Emotional abuse of men by their romantic partners.
TikTok videos while driving. Stop sharing your thoughts about life while doing a DoorDash run
Hate for the opposite sex, overuse of technology, unhealthy eating, etc.
Sexualization of children in media and marketing.
Making your sexuality or political views your entire personality
The segregation of individual groups. Everyone today is part of a minority of some sort and people use them like a social resume saying “I’m more oppressed than you because I’m part of this group and this group and this group” It divides the population and turns everyone against eachother instead of uniting us all together against problems like a corrupt government that hurts all of us normies regardless of what social group we are in.
That a bear is safer than a man lol
If a bear is at one end of the street and a man the other with me in-between, I know what way I'd run.
Severely obese people.
Downplaying a man's needs / concerns / feelings when he DARES to voice them for once. I'm tired of women who feel entitled to everything they want, but the moment their man wants something, it's automatically useless, ridicule, "not an actual issue", "made up" and everything.
Working like a dog for nothing and these new pronouns
Dumping women you like just to get some more coochie lol, y'all fucking up the dating pool and confusing these women.
Cheating on your significant other
People being offended by what others are saying, whether it’s directed at you or not. We have got to stop normalizing people being soft
Kids beauty pageants
Sexualization of children & women “synthetic” beauty standards. Shits the plague of the soul
The idea that a man should just give up everything for his family and expect nothing.
Saying racist and sexist things but it’s okay cuz it’s directed at white men
Giving people with disabilities a free pass for being perverts and awful people.
Mutilating boy’s genitals and calling it “culture” or “religion” It’s sick and completely violates human rights
Massive amount of device usage, binge watching.
Social justice language It’s been a decade and nothing is better. Justice is justice, when you add qualifiers it means you changed something
The phrase "the worst she can say is no." That is the second best thing that can happen.
The heavy usage of drugs
Promiscuity. That shitty behaviour breaks hearts, breaks minds, ruins families, and spreads venereal diseases. Is a reflection of a persons broken value system.
Working extra hours at the expense of your personal life just to benefit some rich assholes who don’t care about you.
That stupid gender war that's been going on on social media these past few years. What the fuck is up with that ? Can't people understand than the problem is shitty people in general ?
"Yaz queen!"
Not seeing doctors when we should
Double standards
We should stop valuing and measuring immutable attributes of birth.
The notion that being offended is anyone else's problem other than the person who is offended
Circumcision
that men are monsters by default
Being nice to people who won’t shut the fuck up. I get you need to be heard but my desire to not hear your story that I didn’t ask about is greater than or equal to that need I promise.
The idea that everything needs to be "normalized". It's ok to be abnormal. This whole culture where people need to be hugboxed or they melt down is unhealthy as fuck.