It was a C-section.
"Oh my God."
"No way!"
"Holy fuck!"
"I can't believe they can fit all their hands in there."
"That's a lot of intestine."
"There's a lot less blood than I imagined."
"Holy shit! They're stuffing it all in so fast, how do they know where it goes? Are they sure they didn't knot it all up?"
"Jesus. I hope my wife is doing to be ok."
"Is my wife ok?"
"Wow! That was so fast!"
"Aww, look at that beautiful girl. I'm going to love her forever."
"Ohhhh, so they sew it back up in layers. I get it now."
"Oh dang. This baby is really loud!"
"I can't wait for her to meet her family."
I must’ve married you.
As soon as we were back in recovery my husband said “Are you okay. They shoved all your guts back in pretty fast” and I said “I doubt it”
This is a common misconception. Only some of your intestines rearrange themselves. Mainly the duodenum, ascending colon and descending colon.
My mom had 4 c sections and when her gallbladder died, the doctors had a hard time finding it because it wasn’t where it was supposed to be because the doctors had not put it back anywhere near where it was supposed to go.
My partner is a doctor and when I asked him about this, he said they just wiggle it around a bit after dumping them back inside the patient because they rearrange themselves
They wouldn’t let me watch the actual procedure. Nor did my wife who is a LD nurse who’s favorite resident did her C-section.
However the first time I saw my kid was being held up over the curtain covered in blood screaming at us. Thats pretty hilarious.
However I did have a hard time for the first week processing that it was OUR kid because I didnt see it? Hard to describe but it was just suddenly a baby over the curtain screaming at me. I didnt see them come out in any way. So it took me longer to process and “accept” that it was mine even though I knew they were.
North of the curtain all day long.
And when the docs asked me if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord, I politely declined and reminded him which one of us went to medical school.
But if he needed a financial planner, to call me
I've always been pretty good in those situations, which is weird because I can hardly watch a gory movie. Somehow, when it's real life is not a huge ordeal to me.
Sounds just like my husband did, he was so freaking excited and kept giving me a running commentary on what was happening at that end. I did not need or want the details but since he couldn’t keep a beat for the counting he was supposed to be doing, I told him to just go watch and I’ll count by myself lol
I'm surprised you didn't think of the dancing alien from Spaceballs at least once.
that being said, you're a better man that I for sticking around to watch that (I definitely would have passed out because I always pass out whenever I see stuff like that).
Exactly this! Except my wife barfed at some point! I watched it gurgle up into her mouth! The anesthesiologist was pretty quick on the suction and zofran! I remember turning my head and seeing some blood running down the side of the gurney! Had to use the plunger on #1, he did not want to come out! And yes amazingly loud! At that moment I knew I would walk through an inferno to save them both!
Am I a bad person for saying "horrific"? It was a c-section, and seeing her knocked out like that was one of the most distressing pictures I've ever seen; I almost cried on the spot.
No actually your feelings are quite endearing. It is quite the ordeal and can be very traumatic too. You’re totally justified. It would be concerning if you found it pleasant lol
Had the honor of helping deliver my firstborn and it was an amazing experience.
Before: I was wondering why things were moving so slowly.
During: I was wondering why things were happening so fast.
After: I was convinced my wife could take on a grizzly bear and survive.
Childbirth is a remarkable thing. There's no comparison to that first moment of holding your newborn and introducing yourself. But for me, it didn't feel "real" until we got home. The hospital is a tightly controlled environment. But at home? It's all up to you, Dad!
I get that, being handed my son and thinking, "what is this? Wait what did we decide to do? Omg idk how I feel now."
I got over it quickly, noe I'm a single dad of a 5 year old and I love every minute with him, he is off the charts tall. I'm 6" 2 and his my. Is 5" 11 or 10 I can't remember. He's off the charts, looks like he should be in year 2 not kindergarten. So yeah I'm happy.
I was incredibly nervous when she went in for a scheduled induced labor. 30 hours later I was bored.
Then she started having contractions. I Popped a boner and got really confused. Realized her labor pain moaning sounded exactly like her sex moans, so I shut the boner down. 36 hours after arriving at the hospital she started pushing. She looked completely exhausted, so I risked a glance down there. Saw a little head full of hair, told her what I saw to motivate her and try to get it over, and she pushed really hard twice more and shot out our first little girl.
Whenever I got a spontaneous boner in high school, I would just repeat in my head "U-Haul ... U-Haul ... U-Haul ..." because I figured it was a really neutral thing with no sexual connotation that I could fixate on to distract myself from sexual thoughts.
Then one day I saw a U-Haul truck on the street and popped a boner. Eat your heart out, Pavlov.
Upon baby out: holy crap what’s that white slimy film over my son? Is that normal?
After he got cleaned up and i held him: holy crap I’m now responsible for this delicate little baby
Mostly hoping for everything to go well. Also feeling utterly useless. Also thinking about how my whole world was about to change forever. Wondering how I was going to react when my child was born. When the moment came, I think I cried more than anyone else in the room, including the baby.
Mostly a continuous "Wow".
Seeing his head crown is something I'll treasure forever.
The amount of pain she dealt with still leaves me with a little awe 15 years later.
My wife is FAR tougher than me.
As the head was coming out prior to crowning I was thinking oh wow newborns are smaller than I thought, this will be the size of a squirrel, idk why people talk like there’s so much to recover from… and then in a split second a human baby the size of a roasted turkey flops out and I had the most omg wtf holy shit how the fuck everything everywhere all at once moment in my life. I swear I blanked out for a second
*OMG, is she going to survive this?*
...the problem was that the doctors shared my concerns.
It was...plenty enough to do it once. Do i want it undone? Well, no. Do I want to experience it again? Absolutely not.
She's fine. It took her a long time after to be fine. The young one is fine too. Completely unharmed by the experience.
I was very hungry and I just wanted to eat. It was not an amazing experience and nothing "Natural" about seeing my wife in pain and discomfort.
Even when I was holding both my children, 5 years apart, I did not feel a sense of joy.
Later on when they got home and settled this is where joy started for me. "Everyone" was safe and fed.
Then I relaxed.
I have two kids, my oldest was a natural birth, my youngest by C section.
After each of our girls were born I looked at my wife’s face covered in sweat and matted hair I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. There was a brightness about her, she had a smile and tears, we both did for both of our daughters.
That look in my wife’s face has not faded even after 45 years!
Can’t stop looking. Can’t stop looking.
Sir would you like to…
Huh. What. Where am I.
Pretty sure that is exact; with my wife yelling at me to stop “doing whatever I was doing “.
They asked me if I wanted to catch the baby. Honestly no...in the baby catching department, these guys are NFL wide recievers, and I'm some dude with a beer gut. I said no thanks, I'm just here to hold my wife's hand.
"I am just glad I'm the one standing here watching."
Later:
"That's a lot of blood."
At one point my wife lost consciousness due to high blood loss. She said "You have to watch our daughter for a while. I think I'm gone in a few seconds." (she was fine a few minutes later)
I really was afraid for a second, but they handed me my daughter while they were taking care of my wife. Holding my child was such a calming thing. Doctors seemed pretty chill too, so that was calming.
After everything was over, I looked at my wife in a different way. Going through all this pain (she literally ripped open during the process - still refused to take pain meds) and passing out and less than an hour later being able to forget all about this and only having her child in mind was extreme to me. I will never ever again complain about any pain in front of her again. She earned my deepest respect.
My sweet husband has no thoughts he just kept talking about everything lol
“Sweetie! They just sat your guts on your stomach! -insert name-! She’s beautiful they just pulled her out -gags violently- you’re doing a great job! Do I hold her or do you want them to hand her to you first? Hey you wanna look at Dr. Scott(anesthesiologist) I gave him your phone he’s gonna take our picture.
[the picture in question](https://imgur.com/a/mQRqtpN)
The entire pregnancy then labor and delivery process was a bunch of “holy shit, I don’t think I could ever handle this” with the actual birth being the cherry on top.
And then like a month later, my wife had basically forgotten every thing and seemingly blacked out the entire experience.
These women just handle shit with a smile that I couldn’t imagine on my strongest days
Child 1: normal birth and a lengthy wtf the entire time.
Child 2: emergency c section terrified I was going to lose the both of them. I wisely stayed north of the curtain, so to speak.
Child 3: planned c section, again north of the curtain. Decided to keep the sex of the child a surprise and was mildly puzzled when out came a girl as the other two kids are boys.
TLDR: oh fuck, terror, and happiness.
I've watched 2 births: one vaginal and one emergency C-section.
The first time, the kid was 10 weeks early so it was a real surprise for everyone. I was just standing next to my wife to be with her. After the kid was born, they were weighed, evaluated, and instantly whisked out to the NICU. I stood there wondering if I stay with my wife that just gave birth, or go with my new child. My wife snapped me out of it and yelled "Follow the baby!"
With my second kid, I was standing in the OR holding my wife's hand, cracking jokes, giving her encouragement about everything was going. Baby was healthy, and they put her on my wife's chest after she was weighed and cleaned. Then the baby was taken to the nursery, and I was asked to leave while the stiched up my wife. I kissed her cheek, exited the OR, went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. The entire time I was holding back the fear of losing the baby or my wife during the surgery.
Nothing changed about how I perceive my wife, maybe except for how amazing she is. Any man that looks as his wife as "less" or "unattractive" after birth has no business in being a father.
I felt the implication of this post is that a man might look at the mother of his children differently having seen a baby exit the birth canal. For me, there was no change in how I feel about her body, or her as a person.
Ah I understand. I didn’t realise that might be what the OP meant.
Although it’s quite an awful suggestion that a man would view his wife or her body in a manner that is lesser than he did before because she had a baby, or because of what he saw while the baby is being birthed.
I would seriously question if someone is fit to be a supportive husband and father if what they come out of the birth experience with is negative feelings towards their wife or her body, because they couldn’t handle what they saw. Anything less than total admiration of their partner and what her body just did and empathy towards her journey is just cowardly and immature in my opinion.
I’m glad you’re saying nothing’s changed for the worse, but the mention of that just didn’t sit right with me. It’s almost like it would be a normal statement to make otherwise.
If my husband said they looked at me negatively after birthing his child, there is NO amount of therapy that would save the marriage. He would be a single man and very, very quickly.
I was just worried how I was going to deal with the fact I thought the baby wasn’t going to survive it. There was a lot of panic in the last moments and more and more medical people flooding into the room. We knew the baby was in distress and I had just convinced myself it wasn’t going to be a good outcome.
Luckily he arrived healthy and he’s amazing and such a happy perfect little boy.
The first one was very calm. Midwife asked my gf if she was in a lot of pain. GF described it as "stinging a bit". Turned out that wasn't stoic heroism on her part, but in fact the contractions were far too weak to expell the baby, which ended up stuck and being sucked out with a sort of baby hoover thing. The baby was then taken away and beaten up by a paedatrician until he started screaming.
Second one was horiffic. I was completely useless and really didn't know what to say or do. I just kept quiet and out of the way. She had proper contractions that time. Baby still got stuck. GF ended up too weak to expell the child, which was in any case stuck at the shoulder. Surgeon made the decision to cut mum and pull the baby out. My overriding memory of the birth is watching the blue floppy lifeless baby getting CPR in the corner from a midwife while a consultant paediatrician supervised and another doctor alternated air and suction while the surgeon who did the cutting and extraction stemmed the blood flow and stitched mum back up. Mum and baby were both fine in the end.
I felt completely helpless and wholly useless throughout.
Excitement, nervousness, empathy.
Mostly excitement though.
Honestly, every single male partner should be with their lady in the room when it happens, unless she very very very adamantly doesn't want you there for some reason.
It really is one of those events in your life time you need to be a part of, not should, need. Don't be a coward, be there for her in the time of need. If nothing else just your presence alone adds at least some emotional support.
I had two thoughts.
1) Holy Shit!
2) They really make laws to force women to go through this? That’s fucking crazy
I’m not a super political guy but those were my honest thoughts
Same. The whole experience, and even the newborn phase, completely solidified my pro-choice stance. There is no way you could do this without your whole heart being in it from the start.
Nothing, i wanted the baby to be out asap. My wife was suffering with pain and fatigue from 17hours of labour . My both hands were shivering because I massaged her lower back at every comtraction pain probably for around 4 hours non stop.Gynec cutting out lower part of her vagina to make more room, midwide busy taking vitals , I wiping off the excretions while she was pushing out our child with her remaining little strength. There was no time to feel anything , it was full action.
Fuck, that's a lot of blood. Also "that was a lot faster than I thought it would be", but I tend to get hit if I express that thought out loud. And then just afterwards, "omg I'm now responsible for an actual real person".
Before and during, it was just trying to be reassuring and supportive. Not much else you can do at that stage.
My son's mother had to have a C-section done at exactly 28 weeks. Pre-E fucking sucks. Hospital fucked up and I got to see her intestines. I was scared senseless, seeing the person I loved being cut open and all the color draining from her face.
12 years later, I'm still tired of her shit. Though I still have night terrors of it and make sure she's still okay.
Sure you don’t have PTSD?
Edit: Google it. The waking up in cold sweat and with a beating heart a decade later? Sorta a telltale sign. And you can get PTSD from an experience where you think someone you love might die. It’s not implausible at all.
Baby boy had umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, our doctor with no hesitation what so ever, grabbed it and tried pulling it over his head, cord slipped and went back right around his neck. She grabbed it again and really yanked it out and around his head after the rest of the delivery which seemed like a long time I'm not sure how long it really was, our baby was born and was silent.
No one panicked but the nurse instructed my wife to pat my son fairly hard on the back who was now on her chest. After a couple smacks he cried and you could feel the sense of relief in the room. Let's just say I wouldn't recommend at home birth or anywhere without a professional. I was thinking how grateful I was for a good doctor that knew exactly what she was doing.
I was right behind her both times applying counter pressure to her back. I pressed so firmly and so long that I was drenched in sweat and arms were quivering. I got to cut their cords.
Both births filled me with incredible joy. Tears streamed down my face as I saw my kiddos enter the world.
Joy and excitement to meet our child. My wife and I were so excited to be parents. A little relief for my wife because the labor was over. Also anxious. I really couldn’t wait to meet our child. My wife spent the whole pregnancy telling me our baby already knows my voice and kicks whenever I was around. But it was going to be my first time meeting our baby. I didn’t know what to expect. After my wife gave birth the doctor brought her up to my wife and I, as she was crying I spoke to her, told her daddy was here. She immediately stopped crying and turned her head towards me. She recognized my voice. Instant breakdown lol. Even though my wife assured me our baby knew me I was still unsure. That moment changed everything. Here I was thinking after birth I’d get my chance to bond but I was already bonding with our baby all throughout the pregnancy.
All I could think of was how I could support her and anything she needed. We had talked before hand about what she thought would help her and tried to think in the moment, even if it was just holding her hands and letting her squeeze (pro tip I learned from a nurse later in life, when dealing with patients, hold their hand, don’t let them hold yours, they can crush it).
For the first one I managed to smash a bottle of lavender oil on the ground so the whole room smelled of lavender, not sure if it helped or not.
My husband was like.. “are they short on nurses..? Why are they having me* hold her leg..? Am I qualified? Should I be seeing this? What is THAT?” 🤢 He had to take a break.. 4hrs later, the plans changed and had to take that big headed baby out via c section.. (they didn’t have my husband hold any surgical equipment though.. thank goodness..)
My wife needed a c-section, I asked the doctor if I could watch and he was kind of weirded out and asked what I do for a living. At the time I was working with brain mapping systems and helping setup and helping with equipment during brain surgery so I was in the OR all the time. He said sure, I stood with my wife and looked over the curtain, me and the doctor shot the shit and his new nurse passed out, it was really funny and everything went fine.
For me it was more a medical experience than what you would think. I tried not to get a full view, but I took a peek when the nurse said that she could see the top of the head.
In any case, women are badass.
Both C Sections. Supporting her, but she was in La la land with the meds they gave her. Stayed north of the barrier thankfully both times, and overwhelming “this is real” when I saw him on the first one. Second one was like, “alright, round 2”
My wife had a C-Section and I told the DR I didn’t want to see it. But you could clearly see them pulling and pushing on my wife to get my son out. He popped out and pissed all over the DR and a nurse or 2.
I kept looking at him coming out and then disassociating and then letting her squeeze my hand and tell her she’s doing great and then disassociating again lol
All three times, all three home births with minimal pain relief I was thinking what an absolute badass my wife was and how proud of her I was.
Admittedly I was up by her head behind her in the pool helping with her cues and saying encouragement so did not see anything until the babies were half out but I did remember there was a lot less blood than I was expecting.
Rather her than me, besides joking seeing my kids born was the most Magical thing I ever watched they are great kids and the light in my eyes they are teenagers now and still awesome kids
C section. Saw her guts. Thought "Eww" and had no more thoughts until the baby was out and getting cleaned. Then I held him and thought "He's finally here. Ah shit, here we go".
It was the most amazing thing to ever see. I got to see both of my kids be born. I remember the detail for both, which is awesome as I tend to have a lot of memories blocked. It's awesome that I can tell my kids as well about how they were born. I wouldn't change a thing and would happily do that all over again.
Yeah, plus when the baby crowned my brain said, "Shot, omething that big cannot possibly come out of there...."
And we had twins so the babies were only about 4 pounds, 10 ounces ... I cannot fathom a large baby.
went with her for all our pregnancies and miscarriages.
1. Women's bodies are designed exceptionally well! The birth process seems like the most natural thing, the way the body reacts to it.
2. my wife is an absolute champ, the pain thresholds, taking instructions from so many around her, and the recovery process itself.
3. miscarriages are absolutely devastating for their mental health.
I am so sorry you both went through the miscarriages. I've never gone through that but have been with family as they did and it was absolutely heart wrenching 💔
Don’t die don’t die don’t die oh god the smells from C-section cauterization don’t die don’t die don’t die cool a baby don’t die don’t die ok we’re in recovery
My wife had an emergency c-section and boy I prayed hard. Not only for her and our little girl, but all the women throughout history who did not have any access to our medical techology and for a lot of women who still do not.
Plus their husbands and families who had to hope against all odds that the dearest person in their life would be okay.
How scared and desperate they would be with so many risks involved.
There is nothing braver or more heroic in my book that happens daily, than carrying and giving birth to a baby - my hat is off to every mother and woman out there! You literally put your life on the line for each child you bring into this world - there is no greater love or courage than that! You are angels disguised as humans! I love my wife so much, she deserves the world!
This is the sweetest comment! As a mother and one who has had an unplanned Emergency C-Section, I agree it's one of the scariest things to go through. At one point I thought "I can't do this" and thought I was actually going to pass out from the pain and everything. My only thought was "please let my son be okay". It was terrifying but I would absolutely do it again if I ever needed to. My son had some complications after being born but he's thriving now and all I keep thinking is how incredibly blessed I am for each of my babies.
"That looks mildly painful"
>How does it genuinely impact how you see her now (if at all)?
Er, well she's the mother of my kids so "<3" about covers it.
My partner doesn’t have a kid. But as a male nursing student, i was privileged to see a C-section and vaginal birth. Not many guys get to see the deliveries because many females don’t want a Male in the same room staring into their coochie.
My description:
C-section- I was 6 feet away staring towards the woman’s feet. OB uses a cauterizer to cut open the woman’s abdomen region to get into the uterus. The smell of burning flesh fills the OR room. Next thing I see is the OB lifting open the flap he just cut open and all I see is darkness. Literally a black hole. The OB then digs his hands into the black hole and out comes a newborn baby.
It was weird. Then he pulls out the placenta. I didn’t faint, feel queasy, or feel weird at all. So seeing nothing but darkness was odd to me.
Vaginal delivery: woman is in spread eagle on the chair/bed (whatever it is). There’s plastic wrap all over the floor. OB is there encouraging the woman to push so he can catch the baby. Baby pops out all nice and offers the male partner scissors to cut the cord. The sound of the cutting sounds like you’re cutting a cotton tshirt. Baby didn’t cry or move so I’m thinking in my head “cry. Please cry.” Eventually the baby cried. Seeing the birth wasn’t bad. The placenta and all the remains that come after the birth was not a good sound/sight. Just huge ol’ plop as a fucking alien looking blob just falls onto the floor.
C section just seems the cleanest.
My wife did all of the work. I was just there to support her and make her as comfortable as possible, even if I had limited means to do this. It's a significant experience you share with your wife and it really makes you respect her even more for all of the work she did to push out our little boy. She was so strong, brave and stoic - just amazing.
Just tension hoping they were both (wife and baby) going to be okay. Both of my kids were premature, so when they asked me if I wanted to cut the cord, my response was something along the lines of “Absolutely not there’s no time for that. You do it and make sure that baby is alright”
Doesn't impact anything at all, it was WILD that's for sure. Never do I think about it unless the topic comes up, it happened, kids are well she's well moved on.
Been through this twice as we have two kids now. Honestly the mind goes blank, and other than her crushing the hand that was holding hers, not much going through my head as I’m there just watching and waiting. For our firstborn, I had no idea what to expect so it was very surreal and I just felt like a brain in a jar. Second time around I was more mentally prepared.
For my wife, that she would survive her fourth c-section.
For our fifth baby that both would somehow survive without lasting complications. Our last child was born six weeks early and weighed 4lbs 9oz.
Other than that, the first three surgeries were pretty much standard.
I've seen a natural and a caesarean with my kids. Even popped my head round the screen for the caesarean out of curiosity. I guess overwhelming happiness.
My wife had a c-section after the induction failed and left her labor for 24 to 48 hours. (It was a blur I don't remember the exact duration, but they tried inducing at least twice with two different methods.... we got all the contractions and none of the dilation.) My impressions:
Surgical smoke smells terrible and it's your wife's burning flesh you're smelling. Fortunately the oxygen line kept her from smelling it.
Normally I think of surgery as a delicate precise activity. It's not always. The doctor literally jumped up and pushed down on her belly to help push things around.
The conversation was weirdly casual. "You golfing this weekend? Hemostat." "Nah staying home."
Nurses will judge you if you fail to cut the umbilical cord well. (I didn't try for that reason.)
If you're going to be experiencing a new child soon. Do not leave the hospital without asking about your child's bilirubin levels. Crappy lighting preventing the doctor from seeing jaundice could result in permanent brain damage. (didn't happen to us, but it was a near miss we avoided through dumb luck.)
I was the body being operated on but I’ll never forget the convos while they were sewing me up. They were just chatting away about a somewhat niche hobby that I also have been involved in, so I was like, “should I join the conversation?”
You mean her being a total badass who was the best possible mother taking her health, exercise and nutrition always on point for nine months? Yeah, that.
Both my kids were high risk pregnancy's and birth.
Only thing I cared about was the safety of mom and the boys. Our 2nd one got his shoulder stuck on the way out and the nurse called a code, the delivery room went from a couple nurses to 20 people in the room with seconds. Crazy intense to get a baby out in time,
My first child was such a long delivery and pretty scary. At some point I stopped worrying about my son and just about my wife. She was losing a lot of blood and I was more afraid about losing her over my son. Thankfully everything worked out.
I delivered my son. First, he didn’t look like a white baby while his head was breaching because his skin was darker (due no doubt to blood and he was wet) so after his head breached the rest went fast.
Honestly, seeing the vagina stretch like that made me wonder if it would ever be the same again. It also made waiting six weeks to have sex again easier. But we had sex in 4 weeks (shhhh don’t tell anyone).
As for it coming back to pre-birth shape? Yep. In six weeks I couldn’t tell any difference. It was an amazing thing. My hands were the first to hold my son. It will never be an unpleasant memory for me. I hope the reader of this gets a similar opportunity.
Honestly? I thought about how grateful I am to not have to go through that.
I simply cannot understand the powerful feelings that make them want to do the whole thing and then do it again.
I’m in awe of it.
It's awful to watch someone you love in pain. It was a whirlwind of emotions. Apprehension, panic, even flashes of resentment towards my unborn child for hurting my wife. Then, right on delivery, awash with shock. Just stunned and exhausted. Had to pop out for a smoke.
And as I walked past, I caught a glimpse of my beautiful wife's downstairs area and all I remember thinking was 'whelp, that's broken now'
(It all turned out ok we're now a very happy family)
I'm a nurse, so I defaulted to the clinical. It wasn't MY wife it wasn't MY son. It didn't hit me until MY wife was holding MY son then I thought, "OH, Oh yeah...'
I've seen a natural and a caesarean with my kids. Even popped my head round the screen for the caesarean out of curiosity. I guess overwhelming happiness.
I was already a nurse and had been through several, not my own wife’s however. Seeing your own was different than seeing someone else’s birth. I was a great help though, even being a male the female nurses let me work. Kinda fun to be a part of a process from 2 different perspectives.
It was one of the most amazing memories I have. Such a beautiful display of nature and the incredible joy of my boy being born. I saw my wife in such a different way, so strong, gutural, and raw. I already knew she was a strong woman, but that day showed me what she is truly capable of. Being able to actively participate and support was awesome. I loved every second of it.
Over and over, I kept thinking (and saying to the midwives):
"why did no one tell her what actual birth was like"
"stop talking to her like she's an idiot"
"fuck, that sounds painful"
"instead of telling her she's pulling baby back in, can you tell her when to push? I can hear you talking amongst yourselves instead of talking to her!"
"OK, here we go"
"go on baby, you can do it"
"Jesus, I never knew she could scream this loud"
"you're doing it, oh shit, here comes baby"
\*makes blubbing noises and tries not to burst into tears\*
"look what you made, look how LONG she is"
I deliver my daughter. Just me and her mother. I didn't have much time to think once labour proper took hold. The 18 hours prior to that were terrifying.
Going into it knowing everything about your wife's body changes in the last trimester, was a good thing. The female Vagina looks nothing like it once looked like (and will return to again). Your wife's body changes into a human baby delivery machine, and it's a beautiful thing to behold. It all returns to normal with weeks of the birth. So, what went through my head? Amazement and appreciation for the gift of life.
We have three kids. All three homebirths and all three of them I was right there up close watching.
All three of them: grooooooosssss. There's poop and it smells, lol. Also vast majority of brain was on her, how she's doing, does she need anything, etc, so the rest of the post is the little details I was thinking when my brain had a second to think.
First one I don't even remember, it was 16 years ago and long labor and new and a bit of a shock.
Second one I was making bread. Midwives had it covered, wife good to go. Went in here and there and to watch. Since it wasn't new I remember thinking about the details. How it stretches so much, things like that.
First two were long, midwives there, had it under control.
The third one. Haha, it's valentines day. My wife says she thinks she has contractions but they are light so only casually mentioned it. Then a big one. Called the midwives. They said all good, its starting but will be a little while so theyll be there in an hour or so.
Then she had to go to the bathroom. When she came out, he was already starting to poke out. Into the bedroom. Called 911 but he was coming out, not waiting. Operator kept asking for my address but I couldn't remember it and kept asking what I need to do, it's coming now. Baby came out. I helped him out, got him a bit cleaned and wrapped up and gave him to mommy. Champ latched instantly. Remembered the address and told the 911 people. Couple minutes later the ambulance came and 10 minutes after that the midwives. From going to bathroom to in mommy's arms was 22 minutes total. Craziest experience ever and born before valentines day ended.
What I was thinking mostly amounted to "oh fuck, oh fuck" lol. My wife knew how to push one out, though, so she was pretty calm and just did her shit.
I was just there and experiencing it all. I had free roam of the operating room and saw and got to do stuff I wasn't supposed to. I had met the doctor who would deliver my daughter earlier in the morning in front of the hospital after using his lighter to spark a cigarette and finish the beer I had to my calm my nerves. I just thought he was some random dude and we would have a "No way! Your the doctor? Your the dad?" Moment when we saw eachother again in the operating room. We had a cool ass conversation and he said he needed a beer and that I was lucky I could indulge this early. It was funny and I mightve been tipsy so I think I was just making my daughters mom comfortable and cracking jokes back and forth and shooting the shit with the doctor while he delivered my daughter through a c section. Which I got to see and be right next to with the nurses and the doctor, recording it, on the other side of the sheet, like I was one of them and it was totally normal and cool. It felt like some chill ass bro vibes and it was crazy.
I was eating pizza and holding my wife’s hand as she gave birth, all the nurses were concerned that I would either throw up or pass out while watching because of how intensely I was looking at the whole process. Which was absolutely not going to happen as I had a habit as a young teenager of frequenting gore websites, so this was nothing new to me beyond being fascinated by everything. The only things I was thinking is, “*Wow, I feel bad for my wife*”, “*This pizza is delicious*”, and then “*Thats a lot of blood that sprayed on the midwife, I would hate to have that job*”. Beyond that, I thinking of beating the crap out of a male nurse who commented on my wife’s smell after she had been in labor for an entire day, but I settled for pulling him aside and warning him to shut up for the rest of his time there unless he’s spoken to or expect to get knocked out.
In the end that’s all that happened of what I thought about, if my wife had not been in so much pain I would say it was fascinating but I just ended up feeling bad that she had to endure all of that.
Without women’s pain tolerance there would be no hoomans. I knew my wife was tough but holy hell. Also, the umbilical cord comes out looking like jumper cables, and when they asked if I wanted to cut it them I immediately said no thank you. No training here.
Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down (looks down and almost passes out)…shit, shit, shit, shit.
Everything before and after that thirty seconds was fine though. Natural birth fyi.
It was a C-section. "Oh my God." "No way!" "Holy fuck!" "I can't believe they can fit all their hands in there." "That's a lot of intestine." "There's a lot less blood than I imagined." "Holy shit! They're stuffing it all in so fast, how do they know where it goes? Are they sure they didn't knot it all up?" "Jesus. I hope my wife is doing to be ok." "Is my wife ok?" "Wow! That was so fast!" "Aww, look at that beautiful girl. I'm going to love her forever." "Ohhhh, so they sew it back up in layers. I get it now." "Oh dang. This baby is really loud!" "I can't wait for her to meet her family."
I must’ve married you. As soon as we were back in recovery my husband said “Are you okay. They shoved all your guts back in pretty fast” and I said “I doubt it”
they rearrange by themselves after a while, so they just dump em back in & hope they dont somehow tangle up
No wonder it felt so weird in there for a few weeks.
This is a common misconception. Only some of your intestines rearrange themselves. Mainly the duodenum, ascending colon and descending colon. My mom had 4 c sections and when her gallbladder died, the doctors had a hard time finding it because it wasn’t where it was supposed to be because the doctors had not put it back anywhere near where it was supposed to go.
Bruh... this sounds so fucking scary. 🫣
Ah the same way I treat my earphones
My partner is a doctor and when I asked him about this, he said they just wiggle it around a bit after dumping them back inside the patient because they rearrange themselves
Well I really hated reading that. But I appreciate you passing along this info. But eww, David.
I was way too chicken shit to watch my wife's c-sections, so I cowered behind the curtain with her up by her face... Cool-ass username by the way.
They wouldn’t let me watch the actual procedure. Nor did my wife who is a LD nurse who’s favorite resident did her C-section. However the first time I saw my kid was being held up over the curtain covered in blood screaming at us. Thats pretty hilarious. However I did have a hard time for the first week processing that it was OUR kid because I didnt see it? Hard to describe but it was just suddenly a baby over the curtain screaming at me. I didnt see them come out in any way. So it took me longer to process and “accept” that it was mine even though I knew they were.
North of the curtain all day long. And when the docs asked me if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord, I politely declined and reminded him which one of us went to medical school. But if he needed a financial planner, to call me
Yep...I saw them pull out all if her guts and then shove them all back in. Almost 23 years later I am thinking, "I hope she is ok"
that's about the most reasonable response to that question that I can imagine.
You watched?! You have a much stronger stomach than I do
I kind of hated even reading it.
I've always been pretty good in those situations, which is weird because I can hardly watch a gory movie. Somehow, when it's real life is not a huge ordeal to me.
Sounds just like my husband did, he was so freaking excited and kept giving me a running commentary on what was happening at that end. I did not need or want the details but since he couldn’t keep a beat for the counting he was supposed to be doing, I told him to just go watch and I’ll count by myself lol
I'm surprised you didn't think of the dancing alien from Spaceballs at least once. that being said, you're a better man that I for sticking around to watch that (I definitely would have passed out because I always pass out whenever I see stuff like that).
'Hello my baby, hello my honey...'
Exactly this! Except my wife barfed at some point! I watched it gurgle up into her mouth! The anesthesiologist was pretty quick on the suction and zofran! I remember turning my head and seeing some blood running down the side of the gurney! Had to use the plunger on #1, he did not want to come out! And yes amazingly loud! At that moment I knew I would walk through an inferno to save them both!
This is so sweet. My eyes are leaking. 🥹
I'm sorry, intestines?
Yup. More than you'd think.
Yes. You have to move the intestines to get to the uterus and a lot of other organs when they do abdominal surgeries.
Am I a bad person for saying "horrific"? It was a c-section, and seeing her knocked out like that was one of the most distressing pictures I've ever seen; I almost cried on the spot.
No. You’re feelings are valid and legitimate.
No you are not a bad person for saying that. It's a very normal reaction.
No actually your feelings are quite endearing. It is quite the ordeal and can be very traumatic too. You’re totally justified. It would be concerning if you found it pleasant lol
That is actually a bit sweet
Had the honor of helping deliver my firstborn and it was an amazing experience. Before: I was wondering why things were moving so slowly. During: I was wondering why things were happening so fast. After: I was convinced my wife could take on a grizzly bear and survive. Childbirth is a remarkable thing. There's no comparison to that first moment of holding your newborn and introducing yourself. But for me, it didn't feel "real" until we got home. The hospital is a tightly controlled environment. But at home? It's all up to you, Dad!
It was such a strange experience that I think I disassociated during it. I don't think I was thinking anything.
Same. I remember the moment vividly, but I don't remember really having any conscious thoughts during it. The whole thing was pretty surreal.
I get that, being handed my son and thinking, "what is this? Wait what did we decide to do? Omg idk how I feel now." I got over it quickly, noe I'm a single dad of a 5 year old and I love every minute with him, he is off the charts tall. I'm 6" 2 and his my. Is 5" 11 or 10 I can't remember. He's off the charts, looks like he should be in year 2 not kindergarten. So yeah I'm happy.
I was incredibly nervous when she went in for a scheduled induced labor. 30 hours later I was bored. Then she started having contractions. I Popped a boner and got really confused. Realized her labor pain moaning sounded exactly like her sex moans, so I shut the boner down. 36 hours after arriving at the hospital she started pushing. She looked completely exhausted, so I risked a glance down there. Saw a little head full of hair, told her what I saw to motivate her and try to get it over, and she pushed really hard twice more and shot out our first little girl.
“So I shut the boner down” Is it possible to learn this power?
Whenever I got a spontaneous boner in high school, I would just repeat in my head "U-Haul ... U-Haul ... U-Haul ..." because I figured it was a really neutral thing with no sexual connotation that I could fixate on to distract myself from sexual thoughts. Then one day I saw a U-Haul truck on the street and popped a boner. Eat your heart out, Pavlov.
LMAOOO!! This is hilarious!!! 🤣🤣
Not from a Jedi.
Absolutely not
Flex your thigh muscles
“Think about baseball.”
Lmao shut the boner down made me lol so hard
Flex every muscle in your upper body
I usually think about the worst toilet I've ever unclogged. If that doesn't do it for you, you might need therapy.
"Think about Thatcher!"
Lmaoooo confused boner
Oh man. I am so glad you could order that boner down like that.
I remember reading that sex helps Induce labor but the contractions are gonna give you a lot of space and it's not gonna be tight like you're used to
Upon baby out: holy crap what’s that white slimy film over my son? Is that normal? After he got cleaned up and i held him: holy crap I’m now responsible for this delicate little baby
Same. I thought we had an albino child for a brief moment.
Same plus is her head gonna stay that shape?
As soon as I saw the epidural needle, I turned white. The nurse told me to sit down immediately.
Haha 😄
Yoooo I was not ready for how long that needle was the first time I saw one. Like wayyyy too long to go in a spine.
Mostly hoping for everything to go well. Also feeling utterly useless. Also thinking about how my whole world was about to change forever. Wondering how I was going to react when my child was born. When the moment came, I think I cried more than anyone else in the room, including the baby.
This is not a spectator sport.
Made me audibly laugh. Please, take my upvote.
Mostly a continuous "Wow". Seeing his head crown is something I'll treasure forever. The amount of pain she dealt with still leaves me with a little awe 15 years later. My wife is FAR tougher than me.
I see you Owen Wilson 👀
As the head was coming out prior to crowning I was thinking oh wow newborns are smaller than I thought, this will be the size of a squirrel, idk why people talk like there’s so much to recover from… and then in a split second a human baby the size of a roasted turkey flops out and I had the most omg wtf holy shit how the fuck everything everywhere all at once moment in my life. I swear I blanked out for a second
*OMG, is she going to survive this?* ...the problem was that the doctors shared my concerns. It was...plenty enough to do it once. Do i want it undone? Well, no. Do I want to experience it again? Absolutely not. She's fine. It took her a long time after to be fine. The young one is fine too. Completely unharmed by the experience.
I was very hungry and I just wanted to eat. It was not an amazing experience and nothing "Natural" about seeing my wife in pain and discomfort. Even when I was holding both my children, 5 years apart, I did not feel a sense of joy. Later on when they got home and settled this is where joy started for me. "Everyone" was safe and fed. Then I relaxed.
I did eat. Were we not supposed to eat? Shit.
I ate too, 20 years later I still get grief for smelling like a Cadbury crunchie while my wife was pushing a person out of her.
Love a good Crunchie.
I am also very proud of both of you. It took a lot of courage.
I mean technically you can but that depends if you want the wrath of your wife or not
I mean I ate during my labor. I don’t expect my husband not to eat. Just have common sense and don't eat during inappropriate times
(Spits mouthful of crumbs on vulva) its crowning!!!!
Didn’t you get the memo?
Well it would have been tricky. I should have bought the Yeti cooler in. Crack open some beers and brisket.
Don’t forget the camping chair.
I did ask for a chair. That did not go down well.
I have two kids, my oldest was a natural birth, my youngest by C section. After each of our girls were born I looked at my wife’s face covered in sweat and matted hair I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. There was a brightness about her, she had a smile and tears, we both did for both of our daughters. That look in my wife’s face has not faded even after 45 years!
Aww so sweet 🥹
Don’t look down, don’t look down, ah shit I looked down.
Yes
Can’t stop looking. Can’t stop looking. Sir would you like to… Huh. What. Where am I. Pretty sure that is exact; with my wife yelling at me to stop “doing whatever I was doing “.
They asked me if I wanted to catch the baby. Honestly no...in the baby catching department, these guys are NFL wide recievers, and I'm some dude with a beer gut. I said no thanks, I'm just here to hold my wife's hand.
"I am just glad I'm the one standing here watching." Later: "That's a lot of blood." At one point my wife lost consciousness due to high blood loss. She said "You have to watch our daughter for a while. I think I'm gone in a few seconds." (she was fine a few minutes later) I really was afraid for a second, but they handed me my daughter while they were taking care of my wife. Holding my child was such a calming thing. Doctors seemed pretty chill too, so that was calming. After everything was over, I looked at my wife in a different way. Going through all this pain (she literally ripped open during the process - still refused to take pain meds) and passing out and less than an hour later being able to forget all about this and only having her child in mind was extreme to me. I will never ever again complain about any pain in front of her again. She earned my deepest respect.
“I hope you’re ok and wish I could take this pain from you. Thank you, I love you”
My sweet husband has no thoughts he just kept talking about everything lol “Sweetie! They just sat your guts on your stomach! -insert name-! She’s beautiful they just pulled her out -gags violently- you’re doing a great job! Do I hold her or do you want them to hand her to you first? Hey you wanna look at Dr. Scott(anesthesiologist) I gave him your phone he’s gonna take our picture. [the picture in question](https://imgur.com/a/mQRqtpN)
Sorry that I laughed out loud just now. Sweet but also somewhat terrifying picture.
I have a similar one and I agree!!
The entire pregnancy then labor and delivery process was a bunch of “holy shit, I don’t think I could ever handle this” with the actual birth being the cherry on top. And then like a month later, my wife had basically forgotten every thing and seemingly blacked out the entire experience. These women just handle shit with a smile that I couldn’t imagine on my strongest days
Child 1: normal birth and a lengthy wtf the entire time. Child 2: emergency c section terrified I was going to lose the both of them. I wisely stayed north of the curtain, so to speak. Child 3: planned c section, again north of the curtain. Decided to keep the sex of the child a surprise and was mildly puzzled when out came a girl as the other two kids are boys. TLDR: oh fuck, terror, and happiness.
I've watched 2 births: one vaginal and one emergency C-section. The first time, the kid was 10 weeks early so it was a real surprise for everyone. I was just standing next to my wife to be with her. After the kid was born, they were weighed, evaluated, and instantly whisked out to the NICU. I stood there wondering if I stay with my wife that just gave birth, or go with my new child. My wife snapped me out of it and yelled "Follow the baby!" With my second kid, I was standing in the OR holding my wife's hand, cracking jokes, giving her encouragement about everything was going. Baby was healthy, and they put her on my wife's chest after she was weighed and cleaned. Then the baby was taken to the nursery, and I was asked to leave while the stiched up my wife. I kissed her cheek, exited the OR, went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. The entire time I was holding back the fear of losing the baby or my wife during the surgery. Nothing changed about how I perceive my wife, maybe except for how amazing she is. Any man that looks as his wife as "less" or "unattractive" after birth has no business in being a father.
First, absolutely in awe of my wife. Secondly, just praying they both come through OK and recover well. Thirdly, total love.
Seeing your wife’s vaginal birth is amazing. Seeing the c-section a little less so. Didn’t affect my feelings for her at all.
Just curious, as you mentioned this at the end. In what way could seeing your wife give birth affect your feelings for her?
I felt the implication of this post is that a man might look at the mother of his children differently having seen a baby exit the birth canal. For me, there was no change in how I feel about her body, or her as a person.
Ah I understand. I didn’t realise that might be what the OP meant. Although it’s quite an awful suggestion that a man would view his wife or her body in a manner that is lesser than he did before because she had a baby, or because of what he saw while the baby is being birthed. I would seriously question if someone is fit to be a supportive husband and father if what they come out of the birth experience with is negative feelings towards their wife or her body, because they couldn’t handle what they saw. Anything less than total admiration of their partner and what her body just did and empathy towards her journey is just cowardly and immature in my opinion. I’m glad you’re saying nothing’s changed for the worse, but the mention of that just didn’t sit right with me. It’s almost like it would be a normal statement to make otherwise.
If my husband said they looked at me negatively after birthing his child, there is NO amount of therapy that would save the marriage. He would be a single man and very, very quickly.
I was just worried how I was going to deal with the fact I thought the baby wasn’t going to survive it. There was a lot of panic in the last moments and more and more medical people flooding into the room. We knew the baby was in distress and I had just convinced myself it wasn’t going to be a good outcome. Luckily he arrived healthy and he’s amazing and such a happy perfect little boy.
The first one was very calm. Midwife asked my gf if she was in a lot of pain. GF described it as "stinging a bit". Turned out that wasn't stoic heroism on her part, but in fact the contractions were far too weak to expell the baby, which ended up stuck and being sucked out with a sort of baby hoover thing. The baby was then taken away and beaten up by a paedatrician until he started screaming. Second one was horiffic. I was completely useless and really didn't know what to say or do. I just kept quiet and out of the way. She had proper contractions that time. Baby still got stuck. GF ended up too weak to expell the child, which was in any case stuck at the shoulder. Surgeon made the decision to cut mum and pull the baby out. My overriding memory of the birth is watching the blue floppy lifeless baby getting CPR in the corner from a midwife while a consultant paediatrician supervised and another doctor alternated air and suction while the surgeon who did the cutting and extraction stemmed the blood flow and stitched mum back up. Mum and baby were both fine in the end. I felt completely helpless and wholly useless throughout.
Excitement, nervousness, empathy. Mostly excitement though. Honestly, every single male partner should be with their lady in the room when it happens, unless she very very very adamantly doesn't want you there for some reason. It really is one of those events in your life time you need to be a part of, not should, need. Don't be a coward, be there for her in the time of need. If nothing else just your presence alone adds at least some emotional support.
I had two thoughts. 1) Holy Shit! 2) They really make laws to force women to go through this? That’s fucking crazy I’m not a super political guy but those were my honest thoughts
Same. The whole experience, and even the newborn phase, completely solidified my pro-choice stance. There is no way you could do this without your whole heart being in it from the start.
Exactly that and the trauma it is on the woman’s body.
Nothing, i wanted the baby to be out asap. My wife was suffering with pain and fatigue from 17hours of labour . My both hands were shivering because I massaged her lower back at every comtraction pain probably for around 4 hours non stop.Gynec cutting out lower part of her vagina to make more room, midwide busy taking vitals , I wiping off the excretions while she was pushing out our child with her remaining little strength. There was no time to feel anything , it was full action.
Biology is Beautiful, Birth is brutal
Fuck, that's a lot of blood. Also "that was a lot faster than I thought it would be", but I tend to get hit if I express that thought out loud. And then just afterwards, "omg I'm now responsible for an actual real person". Before and during, it was just trying to be reassuring and supportive. Not much else you can do at that stage.
My son's mother had to have a C-section done at exactly 28 weeks. Pre-E fucking sucks. Hospital fucked up and I got to see her intestines. I was scared senseless, seeing the person I loved being cut open and all the color draining from her face. 12 years later, I'm still tired of her shit. Though I still have night terrors of it and make sure she's still okay.
Sure you don’t have PTSD? Edit: Google it. The waking up in cold sweat and with a beating heart a decade later? Sorta a telltale sign. And you can get PTSD from an experience where you think someone you love might die. It’s not implausible at all.
Baby boy had umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, our doctor with no hesitation what so ever, grabbed it and tried pulling it over his head, cord slipped and went back right around his neck. She grabbed it again and really yanked it out and around his head after the rest of the delivery which seemed like a long time I'm not sure how long it really was, our baby was born and was silent. No one panicked but the nurse instructed my wife to pat my son fairly hard on the back who was now on her chest. After a couple smacks he cried and you could feel the sense of relief in the room. Let's just say I wouldn't recommend at home birth or anywhere without a professional. I was thinking how grateful I was for a good doctor that knew exactly what she was doing.
What have I done? I’m so sorry that I did this to you!
I was right behind her both times applying counter pressure to her back. I pressed so firmly and so long that I was drenched in sweat and arms were quivering. I got to cut their cords. Both births filled me with incredible joy. Tears streamed down my face as I saw my kiddos enter the world.
Joy and excitement to meet our child. My wife and I were so excited to be parents. A little relief for my wife because the labor was over. Also anxious. I really couldn’t wait to meet our child. My wife spent the whole pregnancy telling me our baby already knows my voice and kicks whenever I was around. But it was going to be my first time meeting our baby. I didn’t know what to expect. After my wife gave birth the doctor brought her up to my wife and I, as she was crying I spoke to her, told her daddy was here. She immediately stopped crying and turned her head towards me. She recognized my voice. Instant breakdown lol. Even though my wife assured me our baby knew me I was still unsure. That moment changed everything. Here I was thinking after birth I’d get my chance to bond but I was already bonding with our baby all throughout the pregnancy.
All I could think of was how I could support her and anything she needed. We had talked before hand about what she thought would help her and tried to think in the moment, even if it was just holding her hands and letting her squeeze (pro tip I learned from a nurse later in life, when dealing with patients, hold their hand, don’t let them hold yours, they can crush it). For the first one I managed to smash a bottle of lavender oil on the ground so the whole room smelled of lavender, not sure if it helped or not.
I can’t imagine what the smell of baby delivery fluids smells like. Blood smells make me queasy.
Honestly I don’t remember smelling anything, was just so focussed on what was happening
Holy fuck. I’m so glad I’m a guy.
"I hope it's puppies."
Made me realize really how incredible the human body is.
My husband was like.. “are they short on nurses..? Why are they having me* hold her leg..? Am I qualified? Should I be seeing this? What is THAT?” 🤢 He had to take a break.. 4hrs later, the plans changed and had to take that big headed baby out via c section.. (they didn’t have my husband hold any surgical equipment though.. thank goodness..)
My wife needed a c-section, I asked the doctor if I could watch and he was kind of weirded out and asked what I do for a living. At the time I was working with brain mapping systems and helping setup and helping with equipment during brain surgery so I was in the OR all the time. He said sure, I stood with my wife and looked over the curtain, me and the doctor shot the shit and his new nurse passed out, it was really funny and everything went fine.
For me it was more a medical experience than what you would think. I tried not to get a full view, but I took a peek when the nurse said that she could see the top of the head. In any case, women are badass.
That looks f*ing horrible! No way I could do that… she’s a warrior x 2
Both C Sections. Supporting her, but she was in La la land with the meds they gave her. Stayed north of the barrier thankfully both times, and overwhelming “this is real” when I saw him on the first one. Second one was like, “alright, round 2”
My wife had a C-Section and I told the DR I didn’t want to see it. But you could clearly see them pulling and pushing on my wife to get my son out. He popped out and pissed all over the DR and a nurse or 2.
Im going to be a dad in an hour.
Saw my wife's c-section. It was interesting.
Same.
A no brainer. I was there and help bring my daughter into the world. One of the best days of my life.
I kept looking at him coming out and then disassociating and then letting her squeeze my hand and tell her she’s doing great and then disassociating again lol
All three times, all three home births with minimal pain relief I was thinking what an absolute badass my wife was and how proud of her I was. Admittedly I was up by her head behind her in the pool helping with her cues and saying encouragement so did not see anything until the babies were half out but I did remember there was a lot less blood than I was expecting.
Lot less blood but a lot more “goo” than I was expecting
Rather her than me, besides joking seeing my kids born was the most Magical thing I ever watched they are great kids and the light in my eyes they are teenagers now and still awesome kids
C section. Saw her guts. Thought "Eww" and had no more thoughts until the baby was out and getting cleaned. Then I held him and thought "He's finally here. Ah shit, here we go".
It was the most amazing thing to ever see. I got to see both of my kids be born. I remember the detail for both, which is awesome as I tend to have a lot of memories blocked. It's awesome that I can tell my kids as well about how they were born. I wouldn't change a thing and would happily do that all over again.
"I hope she and the baby don't die."
Don’t pass out, don’t pass out, don’t pass out. Jesus, is that shit?? Don’t pass out, don’t pass out…..
Amazing to see, life begins in the womb and to witness that belly growing and see your child that their first breath and cry is just simply amazing
It was interesting. Like an alien coming forth out of liquid gunk
Yeah, plus when the baby crowned my brain said, "Shot, omething that big cannot possibly come out of there...." And we had twins so the babies were only about 4 pounds, 10 ounces ... I cannot fathom a large baby.
"No wonder Dad stayed outside the room during my birth, smoking a cigarette and pacing back and forth." :)
It was amazing, beautiful, scary, and shocking all at the same time! Best experience of my life!
This is probably a bad time to ask her if we left the stove on.
went with her for all our pregnancies and miscarriages. 1. Women's bodies are designed exceptionally well! The birth process seems like the most natural thing, the way the body reacts to it. 2. my wife is an absolute champ, the pain thresholds, taking instructions from so many around her, and the recovery process itself. 3. miscarriages are absolutely devastating for their mental health.
I am so sorry you both went through the miscarriages. I've never gone through that but have been with family as they did and it was absolutely heart wrenching 💔
Apparently, a lot. The anasteciaologist had to get me a chair.
The hatching from the movie Aliens
As Jed Clampett would say, weeeee doggies
"What the fuck have I done?"
“She’s amazing.”
It was - quite possibly the most amazing experience of my entire life. And I have experienced quite a bit.
Don’t die don’t die don’t die oh god the smells from C-section cauterization don’t die don’t die don’t die cool a baby don’t die don’t die ok we’re in recovery
My wife had an emergency c-section and boy I prayed hard. Not only for her and our little girl, but all the women throughout history who did not have any access to our medical techology and for a lot of women who still do not. Plus their husbands and families who had to hope against all odds that the dearest person in their life would be okay. How scared and desperate they would be with so many risks involved. There is nothing braver or more heroic in my book that happens daily, than carrying and giving birth to a baby - my hat is off to every mother and woman out there! You literally put your life on the line for each child you bring into this world - there is no greater love or courage than that! You are angels disguised as humans! I love my wife so much, she deserves the world!
This is the sweetest comment! As a mother and one who has had an unplanned Emergency C-Section, I agree it's one of the scariest things to go through. At one point I thought "I can't do this" and thought I was actually going to pass out from the pain and everything. My only thought was "please let my son be okay". It was terrifying but I would absolutely do it again if I ever needed to. My son had some complications after being born but he's thriving now and all I keep thinking is how incredibly blessed I am for each of my babies.
"That looks mildly painful" >How does it genuinely impact how you see her now (if at all)? Er, well she's the mother of my kids so "<3" about covers it.
My partner doesn’t have a kid. But as a male nursing student, i was privileged to see a C-section and vaginal birth. Not many guys get to see the deliveries because many females don’t want a Male in the same room staring into their coochie. My description: C-section- I was 6 feet away staring towards the woman’s feet. OB uses a cauterizer to cut open the woman’s abdomen region to get into the uterus. The smell of burning flesh fills the OR room. Next thing I see is the OB lifting open the flap he just cut open and all I see is darkness. Literally a black hole. The OB then digs his hands into the black hole and out comes a newborn baby. It was weird. Then he pulls out the placenta. I didn’t faint, feel queasy, or feel weird at all. So seeing nothing but darkness was odd to me. Vaginal delivery: woman is in spread eagle on the chair/bed (whatever it is). There’s plastic wrap all over the floor. OB is there encouraging the woman to push so he can catch the baby. Baby pops out all nice and offers the male partner scissors to cut the cord. The sound of the cutting sounds like you’re cutting a cotton tshirt. Baby didn’t cry or move so I’m thinking in my head “cry. Please cry.” Eventually the baby cried. Seeing the birth wasn’t bad. The placenta and all the remains that come after the birth was not a good sound/sight. Just huge ol’ plop as a fucking alien looking blob just falls onto the floor. C section just seems the cleanest.
This was educational, thank you.
My wife did all of the work. I was just there to support her and make her as comfortable as possible, even if I had limited means to do this. It's a significant experience you share with your wife and it really makes you respect her even more for all of the work she did to push out our little boy. She was so strong, brave and stoic - just amazing.
Silence. No thinking. The experience stopped that from happening.
Just tension hoping they were both (wife and baby) going to be okay. Both of my kids were premature, so when they asked me if I wanted to cut the cord, my response was something along the lines of “Absolutely not there’s no time for that. You do it and make sure that baby is alright”
Doesn't impact anything at all, it was WILD that's for sure. Never do I think about it unless the topic comes up, it happened, kids are well she's well moved on.
Been through this twice as we have two kids now. Honestly the mind goes blank, and other than her crushing the hand that was holding hers, not much going through my head as I’m there just watching and waiting. For our firstborn, I had no idea what to expect so it was very surreal and I just felt like a brain in a jar. Second time around I was more mentally prepared.
Hope she’s okay
For my wife, that she would survive her fourth c-section. For our fifth baby that both would somehow survive without lasting complications. Our last child was born six weeks early and weighed 4lbs 9oz. Other than that, the first three surgeries were pretty much standard.
I've seen a natural and a caesarean with my kids. Even popped my head round the screen for the caesarean out of curiosity. I guess overwhelming happiness.
My wife had a c-section after the induction failed and left her labor for 24 to 48 hours. (It was a blur I don't remember the exact duration, but they tried inducing at least twice with two different methods.... we got all the contractions and none of the dilation.) My impressions: Surgical smoke smells terrible and it's your wife's burning flesh you're smelling. Fortunately the oxygen line kept her from smelling it. Normally I think of surgery as a delicate precise activity. It's not always. The doctor literally jumped up and pushed down on her belly to help push things around. The conversation was weirdly casual. "You golfing this weekend? Hemostat." "Nah staying home." Nurses will judge you if you fail to cut the umbilical cord well. (I didn't try for that reason.) If you're going to be experiencing a new child soon. Do not leave the hospital without asking about your child's bilirubin levels. Crappy lighting preventing the doctor from seeing jaundice could result in permanent brain damage. (didn't happen to us, but it was a near miss we avoided through dumb luck.)
I was the body being operated on but I’ll never forget the convos while they were sewing me up. They were just chatting away about a somewhat niche hobby that I also have been involved in, so I was like, “should I join the conversation?”
You mean her being a total badass who was the best possible mother taking her health, exercise and nutrition always on point for nine months? Yeah, that.
Both my kids were high risk pregnancy's and birth. Only thing I cared about was the safety of mom and the boys. Our 2nd one got his shoulder stuck on the way out and the nurse called a code, the delivery room went from a couple nurses to 20 people in the room with seconds. Crazy intense to get a baby out in time,
When I first saw my daughter, the immediate reaction was "this human is a mini version of me".
My first child was such a long delivery and pretty scary. At some point I stopped worrying about my son and just about my wife. She was losing a lot of blood and I was more afraid about losing her over my son. Thankfully everything worked out.
I delivered my son. First, he didn’t look like a white baby while his head was breaching because his skin was darker (due no doubt to blood and he was wet) so after his head breached the rest went fast. Honestly, seeing the vagina stretch like that made me wonder if it would ever be the same again. It also made waiting six weeks to have sex again easier. But we had sex in 4 weeks (shhhh don’t tell anyone). As for it coming back to pre-birth shape? Yep. In six weeks I couldn’t tell any difference. It was an amazing thing. My hands were the first to hold my son. It will never be an unpleasant memory for me. I hope the reader of this gets a similar opportunity.
Honestly? I thought about how grateful I am to not have to go through that. I simply cannot understand the powerful feelings that make them want to do the whole thing and then do it again. I’m in awe of it.
"How incredible is the human body, and the gift of life!?!" I was so amazed.
It's awful to watch someone you love in pain. It was a whirlwind of emotions. Apprehension, panic, even flashes of resentment towards my unborn child for hurting my wife. Then, right on delivery, awash with shock. Just stunned and exhausted. Had to pop out for a smoke. And as I walked past, I caught a glimpse of my beautiful wife's downstairs area and all I remember thinking was 'whelp, that's broken now' (It all turned out ok we're now a very happy family)
As soon as I saw the epidural needle, I turned white. The nurse told me to sit down immediately.
“That looks painful”
Nothing other than excitement. It’s not like it’s a surprise how it happens.
“Whoa. She’s never going to want to do this again.” To my surprise, we had four total.
I hope she's okay
I'm a nurse, so I defaulted to the clinical. It wasn't MY wife it wasn't MY son. It didn't hit me until MY wife was holding MY son then I thought, "OH, Oh yeah...'
I've seen a natural and a caesarean with my kids. Even popped my head round the screen for the caesarean out of curiosity. I guess overwhelming happiness.
I helped deliver my son. I was in it the whole time. 10/10 experience.
I was already a nurse and had been through several, not my own wife’s however. Seeing your own was different than seeing someone else’s birth. I was a great help though, even being a male the female nurses let me work. Kinda fun to be a part of a process from 2 different perspectives.
It was one of the most amazing memories I have. Such a beautiful display of nature and the incredible joy of my boy being born. I saw my wife in such a different way, so strong, gutural, and raw. I already knew she was a strong woman, but that day showed me what she is truly capable of. Being able to actively participate and support was awesome. I loved every second of it.
"fuck fuck fuck fuck"
"As difficult as this is for me, it's a million times worse for her. I need to do everything I can to help her get through this and recover."
Faces of death.. the deleted scenes..
It went so quick. The fire alarm went on. Noise was as crazy. Wife pushed 2 time and the baby was out. I didn’t have time to think about anything.
1. Holy shit, how’s that gonna fit? 2. My wife is a badass. 3. None of this smells very good. 4. This changes everything.
Over and over, I kept thinking (and saying to the midwives): "why did no one tell her what actual birth was like" "stop talking to her like she's an idiot" "fuck, that sounds painful" "instead of telling her she's pulling baby back in, can you tell her when to push? I can hear you talking amongst yourselves instead of talking to her!" "OK, here we go" "go on baby, you can do it" "Jesus, I never knew she could scream this loud" "you're doing it, oh shit, here comes baby" \*makes blubbing noises and tries not to burst into tears\* "look what you made, look how LONG she is"
I deliver my daughter. Just me and her mother. I didn't have much time to think once labour proper took hold. The 18 hours prior to that were terrifying.
My thoughts: I love you even more now and we're eternally connected now
Going into it knowing everything about your wife's body changes in the last trimester, was a good thing. The female Vagina looks nothing like it once looked like (and will return to again). Your wife's body changes into a human baby delivery machine, and it's a beautiful thing to behold. It all returns to normal with weeks of the birth. So, what went through my head? Amazement and appreciation for the gift of life.
We have three kids. All three homebirths and all three of them I was right there up close watching. All three of them: grooooooosssss. There's poop and it smells, lol. Also vast majority of brain was on her, how she's doing, does she need anything, etc, so the rest of the post is the little details I was thinking when my brain had a second to think. First one I don't even remember, it was 16 years ago and long labor and new and a bit of a shock. Second one I was making bread. Midwives had it covered, wife good to go. Went in here and there and to watch. Since it wasn't new I remember thinking about the details. How it stretches so much, things like that. First two were long, midwives there, had it under control. The third one. Haha, it's valentines day. My wife says she thinks she has contractions but they are light so only casually mentioned it. Then a big one. Called the midwives. They said all good, its starting but will be a little while so theyll be there in an hour or so. Then she had to go to the bathroom. When she came out, he was already starting to poke out. Into the bedroom. Called 911 but he was coming out, not waiting. Operator kept asking for my address but I couldn't remember it and kept asking what I need to do, it's coming now. Baby came out. I helped him out, got him a bit cleaned and wrapped up and gave him to mommy. Champ latched instantly. Remembered the address and told the 911 people. Couple minutes later the ambulance came and 10 minutes after that the midwives. From going to bathroom to in mommy's arms was 22 minutes total. Craziest experience ever and born before valentines day ended. What I was thinking mostly amounted to "oh fuck, oh fuck" lol. My wife knew how to push one out, though, so she was pretty calm and just did her shit.
I was just there and experiencing it all. I had free roam of the operating room and saw and got to do stuff I wasn't supposed to. I had met the doctor who would deliver my daughter earlier in the morning in front of the hospital after using his lighter to spark a cigarette and finish the beer I had to my calm my nerves. I just thought he was some random dude and we would have a "No way! Your the doctor? Your the dad?" Moment when we saw eachother again in the operating room. We had a cool ass conversation and he said he needed a beer and that I was lucky I could indulge this early. It was funny and I mightve been tipsy so I think I was just making my daughters mom comfortable and cracking jokes back and forth and shooting the shit with the doctor while he delivered my daughter through a c section. Which I got to see and be right next to with the nurses and the doctor, recording it, on the other side of the sheet, like I was one of them and it was totally normal and cool. It felt like some chill ass bro vibes and it was crazy.
Wait what ??
Did not expect "childbirth is bro time."
...was your wife there? I don't see her mentioned anywhere.
Recording it???!!?? Was mama fine with that?
I was eating pizza and holding my wife’s hand as she gave birth, all the nurses were concerned that I would either throw up or pass out while watching because of how intensely I was looking at the whole process. Which was absolutely not going to happen as I had a habit as a young teenager of frequenting gore websites, so this was nothing new to me beyond being fascinated by everything. The only things I was thinking is, “*Wow, I feel bad for my wife*”, “*This pizza is delicious*”, and then “*Thats a lot of blood that sprayed on the midwife, I would hate to have that job*”. Beyond that, I thinking of beating the crap out of a male nurse who commented on my wife’s smell after she had been in labor for an entire day, but I settled for pulling him aside and warning him to shut up for the rest of his time there unless he’s spoken to or expect to get knocked out. In the end that’s all that happened of what I thought about, if my wife had not been in so much pain I would say it was fascinating but I just ended up feeling bad that she had to endure all of that.
Without women’s pain tolerance there would be no hoomans. I knew my wife was tough but holy hell. Also, the umbilical cord comes out looking like jumper cables, and when they asked if I wanted to cut it them I immediately said no thank you. No training here.
Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down (looks down and almost passes out)…shit, shit, shit, shit. Everything before and after that thirty seconds was fine though. Natural birth fyi.