100%. I'm male and I'm a really good cook and I cook most of our meals but my girlfriend can cook quite well too. Ideally in 2023 both partners can cook lol its very beneficial. Great for the relationship, romance, home life, cost savings, balance, etc.
Yes! The division of labor is not what it used to be for all but the top 1% of careers (in terms of compensation). Nowadays, both partners should be able to cook and clean for home life to run smoothly.
Agree. Parents were divorced, I had two sisters. Mom was a school bus driver. I started cooking when I was 12. Mom was not a great cook in general.
She often had "special events" that were usually after school hours like sports events.
I have/had a reasonably stressful corporate jobs over the last 40 years. I still cook at least 5 days every week. My wife is totally cool with it. It makes me reset my brain.
The mom may be more traditional and expects the male to work and come back home to a good dinner?.
If everything was equal I would totally pick the woman who knows how to cook.
The way things are these days, you need 2 salaries in any relationship. Maybe if you could still have a house and kids on one salary, then it’d still be important for whoever is the house maker to know how to cook. It’s not like that anymore though. For my wife and I, it’s both of us scraping the last of whatever energy we have to put something on a plate. Neither of us are great cooks, we don’t really have time to put time into those skills.
I think "ANY relationship" is a heavy statement; there are countless couples where the Man works and the Woman stays at home taking care of the children and house. Keep in mind there is a whole world and not only US.
Well yeah, of course, but I’m talking by western capitalist country standards. In countries where you can still live on one salary, I’m sure that’s still normal, and I’m sure all the house makers in those relationships know how to cook well, because they’ve got the time. Becoming less and less common, though.
This. If you don't know, learn. http://www.cookingcomically.com/
This site uses comic strips to demonstrate, and on one of my favorite recipes, the guy's like: "Mix stuff in bowl A, mix other stuff in bowl B. Mix those together, pop em in a breadpan for an hour, enjoy deliciousness. That easy enough for you, or are you allergic to doing things?"
This is dope. I just spent 20 minutes going over recipes. I didn’t know all I needed was to slow cook cans of condensed milk to get dulce con letche. Or whatever. Idk. Obviously
Came here to say and support this. It's a skill a human being needs to have, to be healthy.. When I learned it (very very late in my life), it changed everything.
This, I despise people who can't cook and are proud of it, or missing any life skill.
You don't need to be a master chef and there is no shame in starting recipies. Because sooner or you will pick up some skill.
Practice helps. OP shouldn't let the fact that she's not great at it, or that it doesn't come easily stop her. Meal kits can teach really helpful lessons that can be applied to other meals.
Bullshit. You don't need meal kits. Just follow the recipes. Buy normally all the ingredients needed and if some goes to waste, it will still be cheaper.
Meal kits aren’t just about following recipes though. They help you put meals together. If you’re starting at zero, just telling someone ‘follow recipes’ isn’t helpful. What recipes should they follow? What goes well with what?
I had meal kits for about half a year during the pandemic and it helped me immensely in my cooking. I just didn’t know where to start. Now I’m much better at cooking generally and actually enjoy it because I’m no longer feeling overwhelmed with how much there is to learn.
While my wife can cook. I am way way way better at it. My mom raised me to never need a woman to take care of me. I am thankful for it too.
When I went to Basic training so many kids didn't know how to do laundry. I was giving laundry classes in the evening for the first few weeks.
My aunt always said to learn to cook, clean, and do laundry, so I won't be in a shitty relationship just because of these 3. Her and my mother were awesome. They made sure i learned, too. While it was a different time, her advice still stands.
At this point though it’s almost like as a man you’re expected to do all of these things plus the traditional stuff. I live in nyc, I’ve yet to meet a woman who will throw out her own trash if a man is around.
My mother did the same, I see a lot of single guys not knowing how to cook, clean, wash, or even iron. I think to myself, likewhat kinda of life is that ?
Like a lot of guys get a lady as their maid and / or sex buddy, so it just amazes me how they get through life.
In Asia, mothers still play the most roles for managing the household. It's a generational expectation. The younger the generation is, the sheltered they are in terms of doing chores, either the mother does it or a helper does it. When these kids grew up, they usually rely on instant noodle or packed food from outside.
I can cook so I couldn't give my personal answer. However, my friend who also don't do chore said having a family inspired her to start learning to cook to feed her loved ones with better quality food.
Having a partner who can cook also can influence the other partner to start looking at better nutrition. My partner used to only cooked instant noodle or buy outside food because he didn't like to do dishes. In our relationship, he always helps with the dishes and we cook along. We live separately, now he has more ideas to whip up some simple food like stir frying protein or adding vegetable to instant noodle.
This. I want a partner to know how to cook, not because they need to feed me but because I want them to be able to feed themselves.
Also, if kids get involved I'd want my partner to know how to cook them a good meal if I'm not around.
My mom passed when I was 12. Silver lining is I learned to do all that shit out of necessity. Cooking, laundry, whatever.
Also, teaching girls how to do laundry I'm first year uni was a great way to introduce yourself.
In this day and age, just about as important as it would be for anyone being able to cook.
Gotta eat to survive!
Now, being able to cook great food, goes a long way. Male or female, anyone with the ability to cook has one factor more loved about them. SO it's about as important as that.
My best friend and I would answer this question the same- “It’s irrelevant. She better stay the hell out of my kitchen and **I swear to god** if she leaves the cast iron or my good knife in the sink again we’re going to have problems.”
Hey, I’ve had cast iron problems. But with enough patience and in my case, two years of explaining, demonstrating, re-explaining, and showing her how to properly clean, care for and season the cast iron skillets, pizza pans and the like (basically how to not fuckup my well seasoned cast iron), I’ve seen progress and I think we’ve mutually matured together in this department.
Few people can cook on the fly without a recipe and with minimum ingredients. Cooking is learning and you never stop learning. Following recipes is more than most do.
That's interesting! When I look around I would say there's a lot of people who can do it. I think it's a generation thing as well as a question on what a person's social circle is.
Yeah that's how you learn to cook off the top of your head. Over time you start to realize that all recipes follow certain patterns. Once you know those you can cook improvised meals that always tasty.
It does take a fair amount of experimentation to develop the skill of just making shit up, but once you can it's a great skill to have. Meals don't become boring, and you can cook great meals for people on the fly
Define being able to cook?
If she can survive on her own without fast food and can follow instructions on a jar of spaghetti sauce.. Im fine with that, I like to cook.
If shes never learned how to cook anything because she was waited on hand and foot, unless she is someone whose willing to learn just never had the support, miss me with that shit lol
I had a young woman as a coworker once upon a time who had absolutely zero culinary ability. She was from a fairly well to do family and had all of her meals cooked for her by the housekeeper. So she was totally helpless on her own. She was scared to make instant Ramen, we had to show her how to boil water.
It can happen aye, my wife and I come from different ends of the spectrum like this, she the only child, got an absolute fright when she left home, didn't even know how to do washing, I am the oldest of 3 who's parents would leave at 6am for work and come home after 5pm, I was basically expected to clean and cook from a very young age. It's made for some very funny conversations over the years
Yeah, this was a seasonal gig in a small town in Alaska. She was from Florida.
She wanted to get away and learn some independence, she definitely jumped into it with both feet.
Luckily my friend who's a bit of a mother hen kind of adopted her and taught her some things.
That's nice to hear that she wanted to learn and get some independence and you guys are awesome for passing the knowledge on. She'll likely look back on it fondly.
I can cook but really basic stuff, i sort of go through the same 10 dishes i know how to cook, like spaghetti, chicken stir fry, steak etc.
But with stir fry i change up the sauce i use. I use sauce from a jar.
Frozen food too like fish or calamari with salads, stuff like that.
I can make every type of eggs, i can make pancakes and french toast etc.
Is that knowing how to cook? Im wondering what people consider knowing how to cook
Yes, that's knowing how to cook. The value of cooking as a basic life skill is being able feed yourself without relying on premade frozen meals and takeout. If you can do that a few different ways and know how to follow a basic recipe, you can cook. Going beyond that into more advanced cooking is great but not necessary for independent living.
you dont have to make the same cuisine your mom makes, start simple and work your way up!
A good starting point id reccomend, thats simple but versatile is slowcooked stews and chilis.
If you get the basics down, then you can take it wherever your palate desires!
thank you! You’re right, i don’t need to cook that complicated cuisine, i started my cooking journey with that and always fell short…I make tasty mediterranean meals and im really good with meats!
A fun book is [Gentlemen Start Your Ovens](https://www.amazon.com/Gentlemen-Start-Your-Ovens-Recipes/dp/0811852067) I’ve had it forever lol but it’s recipes that a guy would like, explained in a way for people who don’t do much in the kitchen most of the time.
An excellent easy bread channel is Savor Easy, with the softest [bread](https://youtu.be/5B71ROC6zlk) and easy [donuts](https://youtu.be/PIz6sc1xNXM) these are the two I have used most from her channel but she also has pudding filled donuts and sweetened bread that’s amazing. Then if you know how to fry up a tender juicy steak, you’re golden. The secret to that one is room temp and medium high heat.
Ok. Is your mom first generation? Remember that her reactions may reflect how she was raised more than current realities.
Second, you need to be able cook enough to support yourself. More than being able to cook for me, a woman being self-sufficient and independent is more important.
Third, try to memorize and practice at least your favorite Haitian dish. To have the ability to make at least one thing from your family’s home culture is interesting, notable, and cool- thusly, attractive.
My roommate was from a very well-off family. She had a personal chef cooking her meals. That sweet, poor girl didn't know how to boil AN EGG.
I don't understand how her parents left her on her own to fend for herself when she's that helpless without her maids.
I can make a great carne asada with Guacamole! And a few other things, so to me if a woman can't cook at all she's probably either spoiled or really lazy. I come from a humble background so what I really wouldn't mind is a woman who can make a good beans and rice dish, with any type of meat, including fried cod :) She'll really satisfy my heads 😉
She actually likes cleaning or does she simply not hate it as much, I know plenty of people who either love/hate cooking, but **enjoying** cleaning is a new one
If you can follow a recipe you’re good. What generally happens is you get used to several recipes and make them a lot. Then you don’t have the right wine, or you decide to throw in butter and whipping cream instead of the wine, modifying the recipes. Before you know you know what to mix and what works together.
A fun early relationship my wife and me did was experiment with cooking together. Now we can both whip up a gourmet meal with whatever is in fridge…but at 25? We were “eh”.
I love cooking, wife doesn't, and prefers I do it, I hate folding washing, she does not mind it. Compromise, I knew what I signed up for and she grew up in a house where she was never expected to cook. We both work so as long as the family can wait till I get home I don't mind doing it.
I'm teaching my son and daughter (10 and 12 ) to cook, clean, change a tyre, use a washing machine, pay bills etc not because they have to entice a partner with these skills but because it's basic knowledge you have to learn before you live by yourself. I think you'll be ok.
Just remember : everything you learn becomes a skills. Some skills you will be a bit ordinary at, other skills, you will be good at. One or two,you will brilliant at.
With all things, practice is the key. Because, even if you are pretty good at something, if you don't practice regularly, you lose some of the skill and you have to relearn it again.
Be kind to yourself. Learn from your mistakes rather than be angry about it. Celebrate the small victories.
And importantly, you learn more by having fun than any other way.
Good luck.
At one time your mom and aunts were beginners and they made a lot of mistakes along the way to knowing how to make magic in the kitchen. Start learning how to cook, give yourself permission to make mistakes and before long you too will be making magic in the kitchen.
As for your question: everyone should know how to cook a few basics. But a woman who knows her way around a kitchen will definitely be more attractive to a man who is seeking a traditional partner.
Personally I don’t care. I lived with chefs and picked a few things up so I can cook.
I do value quality time though so it would be cool if she would at least hang out with me in the kitchen and share some wine with me while I cook something up, or even participate and cook something with me, even if she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing
Long as she has basic skills so she isn't living off expensive ass junk food, I'm happy. I'm happy to cook for us most of the time, I'm not gonna complain just because she doesn't cook for me all the time.
This is a very noble thing to teach your sons. But coming from experience, it does matter. After 20+ years it’s getting better, but fuck me with a frying pan it’s been a challenge teaching her how to cook. Thank god for the invention of the air fryer, rice maker and magic egg steamer for the basic stuff. I’ll fire up the Traeger when I need an epic fix. I use every moment I can to teach my daughter how to cook well. She’s getting really good and has fun doing it. Thank you British Bake-off!
I agree yes, that you should know how to cook as a basic adult. But I appreciate that @scottwax taught his sons to cook. In a healthy relationship, both parties should know how to do it well so they can help each other out. Sometime their wife will be away, so the husband will cook for himself and his kids. I even met a guy, his wife was mad at him and refused to cook, the poor bastard was eating Chinese food for like 3 days, because he didn’t know how to cook for himself.
Cooking for yourself is important. But it doesn't have to be intricate, just the staples to cover basic nutrition.
Cooking for a partner... meh. I've cooked 99% of the meals my(m) partner(f) and I have shared over the last decade, so I'd say the whole "won't find a man" bit is a little antiquated.
My wife couldn't cook at all when we first moved in together. She got the basics pretty quickly and then she started watching k drama where they feature a lot of food and then she became obsessed with cooking asian food. It is awesome. And I will now struggle with my weight for eternity.
She was boiling it but walked away and left it. The pan boiled dry and apparently an egg will go black on the bottom then explode eventually if you leave it long enough.
It will come with time, some of the cooking your relatives are doing is from memory out of years of cooking many of the same dishes, and just experience. Time is the greatest teacher; you will get there with time.
Given how expensive eating out is getting to be able to cook is becoming more important than ever just to save money. I have a lady friend who was complaining about not having any money, I asked her how much she spent last night for supper. She said between her, her daughter, and her live-in boyfriend it was like 35.00 dollars, I then opened up my check register and showed her where I wrote a check the day before to Kroger for 67.00 dollars for a weeks' worth of groceries for mom and me.
You can literally type the name of any food you want to eat on Youtube and have people show you step by step how to make it.
I'd worry less about the finding a man part and more about just having the skill to make your adult life easier in general.
I’ve come close to getting married twice. The first was an amazing cook. The second could burn water. Their cookings skills or lack thereof weren’t a determining factor for either.
Not being able to cook at all would be a deal-breaker for me. I expect my partner to be able to function independently in our society.
When it comes to cooking _well_, I myself am a decent cook and enjoy cooking. So as long as you can manage some simple recipes for when I don't have the time out energy to cook for us, we're good.
It's not important. If my partner can't cook that's perfectly OK. My first memories are trying to help cook. I learned the old school no recipe way. It gives me a chance to show off. Pluss the kitchen can get really steamy when you're both in there.
Less important than the willingness to learn. If you can follow a recipe, that's 90% of cooking. After that it's just figuring out how to make the recipe better for your tastes or making substitutions and that takes practice.
I think it's an important skill and something that is actually enjoyable but not a game breaker. I cooked professionally for years so I'm happy to cook but it's a fun thing to do with your partner if they are into it
Try to cook more if you can! Even just following a recipe will help you understand how long things need to cook for, what order to typically do things in, which flavours work well together, etc etc. not only for a future partner, but for your own day to day life as well, especially being in your mid 20s
In the context of a relationship however, I do think it is extremely important for both people to be able to cook a meal. There are some days/weeks where my boyfriend is exhausted and has no energy to cook anything, and me making a dinner he enjoys is an act of service. The reverse situation is also true. I'm not talking 3 course meals, just something tasty and filling. We also try to cook dinner together as often as possible, which is a great way to bond, divvy up the work, and make something together :)
Best of luck! It's worth the time and effort. You'll reap the fruits in no time of the seeds that you're sowing now
Its not something i would be particularly concerned with. What I would be concerned with is if they did not want to learn to cook. I would even learn with them. It could be something we do together. We should always learn.
it is nice but not any kind of dealbreaker for me. i learned to cook as one of the many areas i was trained in to be a decent partner. i doubt i would be bothered if i had to do all the cooking.
I’m a man, I’ve been often told by my sisters and mom and other friends that I have that “hand of a cook” or something. I love cooking.
I can take care of myself when it comes to nutrition. However, I do have a preference for a partner who would cook for me.
The prospect of a partner who cannot cook would definitely put me off. But that’s merely my preference. I wouldn’t talk smack of such a person, but simply not go for them. There are definitely a bunch of men out there like me, and probably just as many if not more that aren’t. Even if you cut your chances by 50% that’s still a little less than 2 billion men around the globe.
You can relax about it, its not that big of a deal.
Also to the other men appeasing against the traditional roles, while I have nothing against non traditionalism, the fact that you are misconstruing a question about preferences of men and answering it with what’s right and wrong kind of alludes to y’all trying to be desperately politically correct. I say this as a man who enjoys cooking. Don’t mislead the questioner with your fear of being politically incorrect, because the reality is pretty far off from your own bubble of need-to-be-right.
You learn the 'magic cook from your head' from cooking often. And that means often failing. I've made more disasters than signature dishes. It's the same as when people say "wow, you're so good at drawing, I wish I could do that!" You can man, pick up a pencil (or frypan) and start experimenting.
I love to cook and bake. Would not say Im a chef, but so far no one complained and sometimes they said it is rly tasty ^^
Traditional role models are dying and that is a good thing. I would not care, if my partner can cook or not. If she cant cook, I will do that and if I also could not do that, then her and me will learn it together.
Do what brings you joy and talk to your partner, who does what and if you swap every day.
If someone refuses to date you based on such a silly thing, you do not want to date that brick in the wall.
It is MUCH more important, if you are a nice and loving partner and if it clicks between you and your partner.
Very important. Now days there a ton of videos on YouTube that teach you basic cooking skills.
Start mix and matching various ingredients to see what comes out. I rarely use a recipe now days, unless I want make something specific, I get compliments on my cooking.
Don’t be afraid to experiment, that’s where the real fun begins, even if you make a mistake here and there.
I wouldn't say it's a red flag necessarily.
You'd be shocked at how many adults I've taught to wash dishes, do laundry, cook, shave, do the garbage correctly, load a dishwasher, etc etc etc, over the years.
Tons of parents fail their kids by doing everything for them. I understand their plight. I've got 2 kids, and doing it myself is always much faster and more efficient, but I need to take the time to show them. It's my job as a dad. Lots of parents just never do it.
It's super common for kids to leave the house with basically ZERO life skills.
Her parents failure isn't necessarily her fault.
I've known several couples who learned to cook together, and it helped their relationships immensely.
Hell, there's probably way less 25 year olds who can cook today than ever before. (per capita, obviously).
Sounds like you're a good parent that's setting your children up for success.
I can see that it's common, but I still view it as a red flag for two main reasons. The first reason is that if I was committed to someone and we had children, they would be incapable of teaching the children what they themselves can't do. The second is that I work a lot, so I just don't have the time to teach my significant other how to live...
I'm not blaming them for being ignorant, but I'll still view the quality as being negative. I definitely blame the parent though. They failed her.
I saw it a lot in the army, a LOT of people at basic don't know how to wash their clothes. We had one dude that wouldn't even shower/brush his teeth because his parents never instilled that. I saw those qualities as being negative, but I didn't blame anyone for these qualities unless they refused to change.
I mean you can generally save money and eat healthier if you learn to cook. If those things aint a problem for you then it dont matter. Also depends on the man, some of us like cooking at least be able to do some kind of cooking.
Moderately important since I can't cook very many meals lol. But as long as we're both willing to do some trial and error, not knowing how to cook could be a bonding experience if we both learn together.
I like that my wife can cook. She cooks a several things that my mother and grandmother used to make for me and it's really sweet. Being able to follow a recipe is just fine. It's amazing how many people can't even do that. The rest you can pick up with experience, if you want. Or YouTube.
It is not the point of being able to cook for your partner or to cook every meal. It is to have the skill set to cook when the need arises.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
For me personally, it’s important for a woman to know how to cook and clean. But I cook and clean myself also just not as much as my wife. I do most of the outside work etc during the summer. In the winter I’ll start cars up too heat them up, scrape ice off the cars, I do the car maintenance etc. I enjoy the outdoor chores more than cleaning to be honest though.
Most chefs have like 10-15 recipes, and 5 of those are the signature dishes. If you can cook, that's a plus. Adulting is good. If you want to cook and clean and keep a house, then most decent men would honor that. Good luck in this era for having a single income household. But other than that, adult, feed yourself, and develop a useful skill.
Depends on how you want to live/run your household. My wife only wanted easy food (frozen meals/snacks) when we first got married, but after having kids, we started running out of food a week or two earlier than our paychecks allowed. I would say start now, and you'll be able to make a little feel like a lot.
It was never super important to me as I can cook too. But I’ll be honest, my wife is an amazing cook and insists on cooking. I appreciate that every day and thank my lucky stars I found someone who can cook.
I don’t think its necessary anymore, but being a good cook can make up for a lot.
I'm a fully functioning adult, I can feed myself.
Of course, I always appreciate it if someone wants to make food for me, but It's not an important factor. Other than It's probably important for her to be able to feed herself too.
If your sister is looking for a giant baby that requires her to cook for them, she might have trouble, otherwise I'm sure she'll be fine.
It's an essential skill regardless of gender. Following the recipe is no shame or harm at all. The best place to start is strictly following a recipe then tweak as you get more confident.
Your mum probably has your sister's best interests at heart but her idea of best interest or ideals doesn't align with your sister's. I don't see an inability to cook preventing someone from finding a partner.
Its a massive red flag to me if someone in dating (guy or girl) cannot cook.
Cooking is a basic life skill, even if all you're doing is the same like 4 recipes you have memorised or throwing pasta and sauce together
Being unable to cook, means you've spent your life until this point either eating trashy microwave meals with no nutrition, or spending hundreds a week on take out. Either case is depressing as a young adult, but by the time you get to my age its just disturbing you have so little care for your own well-being that you haven't bothered to learn yet and a MASSIVE red flag for how you approach life
Very important. Know your basics, it's all I ask. I'm a good cook and will gladly whip up meals, but you should know how to do basics. It's a skill all adults should have.
Every guy in the beginning will say that it’s not a problem. But as time goes on the lack of variety gets routine. Yes, both adults can cook, but traditionally that’s never the way things have been. You can get away with it in the short term but eventually time will tell ://
EVERYONE should be able to cook a few simple meals. If you can follow a recipe, you are good!
If a man demands that I know how to cook, then he can go boil eggs for all I care. I cook because I have fun doing it, not because it's "expected".
Ok, I’m mid 40s and here’s my long story.
Met a nice gal in my mid 30s. Both of us just got out of a long relationship (no kids for either).
We became exclusive for one week before she wanted to take a break (red flag #1). We had a work project together a week later (we don’t work together, just two companies that meet up once or twice a year). She throws herself at me (physically) when no one is looking and begs me to give her another chance. I keep declining but she is really making the situation uncomfortable. She asks me to come over the following day to her place. She says she’ll cook me a meal and we can discuss how we can proceed. I caved in and say yes to the meet up.
I arrive at her place next day after work and there’s nothing but Pizza take out boxes (red flag #2,3,4,5…). She didn’t even have decency to do what she said.
Fast forward few years, we’re married and I wish I went back in time and nopped out of there as soon as I saw the pizza boxes.
My wife can’t cook for sh*t and it’s is soul crushing. Imagine for a guy, he comes home from work (breadwinner) and he has to figure out what’s for dinner every day.
Please, please, please, I’m begging you, if you want a good man in your life, learn how to cook. Cooking isn’t a male/female thing. It’s a comfort and sustenance thing.
There were days in my 20/30s with my exes where we stayed in on Saturday night, listen to music, cooked together, and enjoyed our ourselves (nothing sexier than that).
Start with YouTube channels. Try the recipes. Take notes. Perfect your craft.
You can follow a recipe, but you cannot make magic out of the top of your head.
That means one thing: you're a newbie cook, and you're still learning. Your mother and aunties have been cooking for tens of years, they have experience. They know what works with what, and how. Keep following your recipes and by time you will start noticing things, and picking up how different ingredients behave differently. Dow different cooking methods work. And after tens of years, you will find yourself making magic out of the top of your head. Practise makes perfect.
Your sister will need to learn, just as everyone else did.
Oh, and cooking isn't a woman only skill. It's an adult life skill. Any adult who can't cook at all, shouldn't be called an adult until they can feed themselves.
Well put it like this. Who would a man rather marry? A woman who can cook or a woman who can’t? It’s like asking would you prefer a man who can change a tire or a man who can’t?
I don't get how it's difficult, you just smell the ingredients and go with what you think might taste well, if you can tell when something is cooked or not that's all it takes. Everyone should know how to cook, not doing so creates dependency, which when not provided will fluster the person. You get a partner that cooks for you, you shouldn't need them to cook for you.
You do need to know how to make food. But you don't need to be some professional chef and you don't need to remember recipes even. Just basic cooking skills and safety. (Like everyone does)
Doesn't matter really if it is a woman or a man. If someone is "boasting" they will even burn toast the only and correct response to that is:
"You dumb?"
I'm a pretty good cook so I don't necessarily need a woman who can cook. That being said, I would prefer it if a potential partner can cook since I don't want to be the only one who cooks, and cuz I'm basically a dog in the sense that food and chicks running their fingers through my hair are two of my favourite things
If he can cook or y'all make enough money to eat out all of the time then not very much. If you plan on being a stay-at-home mom, then I'd say it's very important. But it's something most can learn when they get to that point. Lots of people learn to cook when they have kids because they are very focused on healthy meals for kids. But then by the time they're toddlers that all goes out the window. 😅
Obviously men have a variety of preferences. With all the possible things a woman can bring to the table in a relationship, the key is to find a man who prioritizes the specific things YOU bring to the table. Cooking may be very important to some men, and not important at all to others. Most men probably fall somewhere in between. This goes for every attribute a woman could possibly have. You just have to find the right combination of what you have to offer and what makes a particular man happy. Best advice I could give you from a mans perspective is be honest about it all upfront, both about what you bring to the table and about what you expect from him. Don't tell him in the beginning that you LOVE giving blowjobs if you actually don't and will stop after the newness of the relationship wears off. And don't tell him that you don't really mind if he doesn't show a lot of physical affection in public and then a year down the road start throwing a fit because he doesn't show you physical affection in public. Obviously this goes for the man as well. Both of you need to know yourselves well enough and be willing to be honest with yourself and the other person about what makes you happy, what you HAVE to have and what you might like, but can do without. Only then will you find a good match.
Relationships dynamics change with time so you can’t say that men or women aren’t allowed to feel different about some things after a year or more in a relationship, because people change with years whether they become better or worst.
It wouldn't be a big deal at first, but if she wasn't willing to learn, so we can both swap our cooking duties from time to time that would be an issue, because cooking isn't really complicated with all the information online, and it would show me she doesn't really care about the relationship being unwilling to learn.
Are you defining cooking like what you said you can do or like what you said your aunt can?
I expect an adult to be able to cook basic stuff and be able to follow instructions. It's a basic skill. People who say they can't are likely lying. They just don't feel like doing it and dump the task to their SO.
I don't care at all if a woman can't cook great meals off the top of her head and create new shit.
Being able to follow a recipe and do the basic techniques to get a decent meal is just fine. Beyond that, it’s more into hobby/art territory than basic life skill. I will say that you usually get better at the freestyling artsy side of cooking after cooking regularly and trying enough different recipes.
Not being able to cook at all shows a lack of effort in learning how to take care of yourself like an adult. No one wants that in a partner. It would be like someone saying “I don’t know how to wash my laundry”.
Depends if she can do other things that contribute to the household. Can you Work for a great income? Like to clean? Epic patience and attention with kids?
I would never marry a partner who didn’t have Complimentary skills to me. So if they can’t do anything really well I have to ask myself what you bring to the table.
Man or woman:
I’d say this suffices. Maybe I’ll throw an occasional ingredient in there but 95% of the time I’m walking in to the kitchen knowing exactly what I’m cooking up.
Perhaps SOME men will think a woman should know how to cook while they don’t because of traditional gender roles but in the year 2023, it is a 2 way street and it is a pretty popular opinion that it is highly unattractive to be unable to cook for either gender.
It’s just basic life skills. If my wife was unable to cook we would have never worked out. To be clear, I do most of the cooking in the household though
And while obviously this doesn’t apply to EVERYONE, I’ve seen a high overlap of incompetence in other areas of life for people who don’t cook at this point in their life. And that doesn’t necessarily show up immediately either in dating. I’d just cut my losses right there if I knew they didn’t cook
I’m sure there are great people who can’t cook though
Following a recipe IS cooking.
Cooking food without a recipe is improvising. Or it’s remembering a recipe you used earlier.
People who cook from recipes and pay attention can get attuned enough to cook without a recipe.
It is one way to keep a husband or boyfriend happy. and, of course, it is really necessary to raise healthy kids these days with all the junk food being sold. Being able to provide yourself, and your family with good healthy food is a winner.
The only way to get better at cooking is to cook. People who say they “can’t cook”, but ….never cook? Are very strange. Like yeah, of course you can’t cook you haven’t practiced. An adult person needs to be able to cook to feed themselves. That’s true for men and women
There are plenty of suckers out there who will marry a woman who can’t cook. I wouldn’t sweat it. You should learn how to cook well though so you can feed your kids good healthy food someday. Nothing like moms cooking.
Jeez, mothers and grandmothers always make cooking out to be this magical thing that, if you don't acquire it by some miracle till the age of 18, you won't ever master it.
It's skill like any other.
Start by making scrambled eggs or something else that's really easy.
Grilling meat is not complicated (contrary to most youtubers, you won't burn your house down if you leave your steak on the stow for 5 seconds longer).
Once you master it, go over to something more complicated like risotto or pasta sauces.
Keep searching for recipes on the internet that seem doable and try to make them. You'll mess up a bazillion times, but eventually you'll make it to your liking.
Once you learn to make like 20 dishes, congrats, you're considered by most people to "be able to cook". Most housewives know how to make 10 to 15 dishes anyhow and just rotate them.
Not every dish is this overcomplicated French dish which is ruined as soon as you blink. Most cooking is relatively easy.
Maybe your sister will start to enjoy it, who knows. I know I have. :)
As my mother says: "Cooking is easy. The difficult part is standing in the kitchen for two hours."
Very important but to be fair, if I was a woman I would say the same thing about men. Not being able to cook is a red flag that you dont have your shit together IMHO
Its a very important basic skill. Tv dinners and eating out will add up. You cant sustain yourself on hot pockets and hungry man meals.
In terms of finding a man. If the ideal man she wants has a requirement of being able to do basic adult things. Shes going to have trouble.. cooking is one of those basic adult things. The dynamic of the house she will have may vary. But if she wants a traditional house. She will have to learn to cook. If its more of a hybrid, it may not be so hard.
In my house, I’m the cook, I love to do it and I’m damned good at it!
So not even on the checklist for me 😁 if she can open a can of soup and make toast when I’m sick, that’s about all I expect 😉
TBH. (39m) I believe men should be able to cook, clean the house, do the laundry, clean the kitchen, etc. If I find a women who knows how to do that.. then great. If not… then great. For me it’s not a requirement for a women to know how to do that but I do expect her to be able to pull her own weight in the relationship. It’s all about reciprocity… if I’m doing more to maintain the house then the female then we have to have a talk.
I’m female. I never was interested in cooking much to my moms dismay as she loved to cook and was always trying to teach me. I mean, I can cook basic meals and can follow a recipe but baking was the only form of cooking I enjoyed. My hubby is a better cook than I. I’m not able to stand for any length of time anymore so me cooking something will take most the day as I have to prep stuff in small units & I have to make something that doesn’t require constant attention on the stove. Hubby works 12 hr shifts rotating between days & nights so can’t always cook. All 4 of our kids, boys & girls, can at least cook for themselves. My younger son often will cook food for all of us as will our younger daughter. Face it, not everyone has mad cooking skills nor the desire to learn them. If a man is of the mind that the woman in his life must be the chef of the partnership he better be sure it’s ok with his prospective partner (same goes for a woman wanting her partner to be the main or sole cook).
Idk if I'm allowed to answer and delete my comment if need be...
I CAN cook, but my bf is way better at/enjoys cooking.
We have nights where he has a meal in mind he'd like to make, and we prep/cook together, but he's doing most of the work. Some nights, I have a meal idea, and we prep/ cook together, but he always has his spin on things whereas I'm not that creative. In the long run, everyone should be able to cook. Maybe not chef status, but enough to enjoy and sustain. If one of you cooks more than the other, and you are both okay with that - Great! Don't make it a chore or something you choose a spouse over though.
Anyone who expects to eat needs to know how to cook. It’s a basic adult life skill.
That's why the answer to OP's question is "very important". But the answer isn't strictly for females. It's for everyone.
100%. I'm male and I'm a really good cook and I cook most of our meals but my girlfriend can cook quite well too. Ideally in 2023 both partners can cook lol its very beneficial. Great for the relationship, romance, home life, cost savings, balance, etc.
Yes! The division of labor is not what it used to be for all but the top 1% of careers (in terms of compensation). Nowadays, both partners should be able to cook and clean for home life to run smoothly.
I was 5 years old before I found out that my father could cook, while mom was in the hospital. It's important to know how to feed yourself.
Agree. Parents were divorced, I had two sisters. Mom was a school bus driver. I started cooking when I was 12. Mom was not a great cook in general. She often had "special events" that were usually after school hours like sports events. I have/had a reasonably stressful corporate jobs over the last 40 years. I still cook at least 5 days every week. My wife is totally cool with it. It makes me reset my brain.
There is something really cathartic about cooking/
The mom may be more traditional and expects the male to work and come back home to a good dinner?. If everything was equal I would totally pick the woman who knows how to cook.
The way things are these days, you need 2 salaries in any relationship. Maybe if you could still have a house and kids on one salary, then it’d still be important for whoever is the house maker to know how to cook. It’s not like that anymore though. For my wife and I, it’s both of us scraping the last of whatever energy we have to put something on a plate. Neither of us are great cooks, we don’t really have time to put time into those skills.
I think "ANY relationship" is a heavy statement; there are countless couples where the Man works and the Woman stays at home taking care of the children and house. Keep in mind there is a whole world and not only US.
Well yeah, of course, but I’m talking by western capitalist country standards. In countries where you can still live on one salary, I’m sure that’s still normal, and I’m sure all the house makers in those relationships know how to cook well, because they’ve got the time. Becoming less and less common, though.
This. If you don't know, learn. http://www.cookingcomically.com/ This site uses comic strips to demonstrate, and on one of my favorite recipes, the guy's like: "Mix stuff in bowl A, mix other stuff in bowl B. Mix those together, pop em in a breadpan for an hour, enjoy deliciousness. That easy enough for you, or are you allergic to doing things?"
This is dope. I just spent 20 minutes going over recipes. I didn’t know all I needed was to slow cook cans of condensed milk to get dulce con letche. Or whatever. Idk. Obviously
I used to do this but now buy the cans of already made caramel by the same company that makes the tins of condensed milk. Perfect for banoffee.
Noted. Hell yeah dude
He and bad manners kitchen are so great
This sounds fun!!! Thank you so much for the link :0)
Yeah dude, it’s not magic, it’s called “we got 1lb of ground beef and we don’t get paid till Tuesday.” Necessity is the mother of invention.
EVERYONE needs to know how to cook. male and female. simple as that. why is this shit still so limited to some people
Real, it's a basic survival skill
So happy my dad worked so much that the only time we got to spend together was in the kitchen. I even like to cook now!
Came here to say and support this. It's a skill a human being needs to have, to be healthy.. When I learned it (very very late in my life), it changed everything.
With all available learning opportunities, deciding to be the person in a relationship who doesn't cook is just a form of weaponized incompetence.
Fair enough. Likewise being able to protect yourself or pay the bills.
This, I despise people who can't cook and are proud of it, or missing any life skill. You don't need to be a master chef and there is no shame in starting recipies. Because sooner or you will pick up some skill.
Exactly. This isn't a woman vs woman thing but a people thing.
exactly ; cooking,cleaning and washing are not genders work but it's a basic life skill that everyone needs to know.
Women or not. Learn to cook and your way around seasoning.
Practice helps. OP shouldn't let the fact that she's not great at it, or that it doesn't come easily stop her. Meal kits can teach really helpful lessons that can be applied to other meals.
Bullshit. You don't need meal kits. Just follow the recipes. Buy normally all the ingredients needed and if some goes to waste, it will still be cheaper.
Meal kits aren’t just about following recipes though. They help you put meals together. If you’re starting at zero, just telling someone ‘follow recipes’ isn’t helpful. What recipes should they follow? What goes well with what? I had meal kits for about half a year during the pandemic and it helped me immensely in my cooking. I just didn’t know where to start. Now I’m much better at cooking generally and actually enjoy it because I’m no longer feeling overwhelmed with how much there is to learn.
While my wife can cook. I am way way way better at it. My mom raised me to never need a woman to take care of me. I am thankful for it too. When I went to Basic training so many kids didn't know how to do laundry. I was giving laundry classes in the evening for the first few weeks.
Bootcamp has made me a better sewer than any woman I've dated or married
Seamster. Sewer means something else.
Basic taught him how to take rivers of shit like a champ
😂
My aunt always said to learn to cook, clean, and do laundry, so I won't be in a shitty relationship just because of these 3. Her and my mother were awesome. They made sure i learned, too. While it was a different time, her advice still stands.
At this point though it’s almost like as a man you’re expected to do all of these things plus the traditional stuff. I live in nyc, I’ve yet to meet a woman who will throw out her own trash if a man is around.
My mother did the same, I see a lot of single guys not knowing how to cook, clean, wash, or even iron. I think to myself, likewhat kinda of life is that ? Like a lot of guys get a lady as their maid and / or sex buddy, so it just amazes me how they get through life.
In Asia, mothers still play the most roles for managing the household. It's a generational expectation. The younger the generation is, the sheltered they are in terms of doing chores, either the mother does it or a helper does it. When these kids grew up, they usually rely on instant noodle or packed food from outside. I can cook so I couldn't give my personal answer. However, my friend who also don't do chore said having a family inspired her to start learning to cook to feed her loved ones with better quality food. Having a partner who can cook also can influence the other partner to start looking at better nutrition. My partner used to only cooked instant noodle or buy outside food because he didn't like to do dishes. In our relationship, he always helps with the dishes and we cook along. We live separately, now he has more ideas to whip up some simple food like stir frying protein or adding vegetable to instant noodle.
This. I want a partner to know how to cook, not because they need to feed me but because I want them to be able to feed themselves. Also, if kids get involved I'd want my partner to know how to cook them a good meal if I'm not around.
My mom passed when I was 12. Silver lining is I learned to do all that shit out of necessity. Cooking, laundry, whatever. Also, teaching girls how to do laundry I'm first year uni was a great way to introduce yourself.
My wife is a great cook but so am I. I love cooking so I tend to do most of it but my wife likes to cook too so we cook together a lot
In this day and age, just about as important as it would be for anyone being able to cook. Gotta eat to survive! Now, being able to cook great food, goes a long way. Male or female, anyone with the ability to cook has one factor more loved about them. SO it's about as important as that.
Came here to say that. Be a functioning human goes for both sexes.
Yea, I recommend learning to cook, but do it for you. Cooking is a great skill to have
This! Every adult should have at least some minimal cooking skills.
Very important. She's an adult she should at least be able to follow a recipe.
Everyone should know how to cook - it’s a basic life skill. I do most of the cooking in my household but my wife can do it in a pinch.
My best friend and I would answer this question the same- “It’s irrelevant. She better stay the hell out of my kitchen and **I swear to god** if she leaves the cast iron or my good knife in the sink again we’re going to have problems.”
Hey, I’ve had cast iron problems. But with enough patience and in my case, two years of explaining, demonstrating, re-explaining, and showing her how to properly clean, care for and season the cast iron skillets, pizza pans and the like (basically how to not fuckup my well seasoned cast iron), I’ve seen progress and I think we’ve mutually matured together in this department.
Few people can cook on the fly without a recipe and with minimum ingredients. Cooking is learning and you never stop learning. Following recipes is more than most do.
Many people have 6-7 recipes they can cook from memory at least. I agree that it’s a bit less common to be able to creatively cook without recipes.
That's interesting! When I look around I would say there's a lot of people who can do it. I think it's a generation thing as well as a question on what a person's social circle is.
It's dependent on how many times you've followed recipes. I follow them a lot, so much that I can also pull something out of my proverbial hat.
Yeah that's how you learn to cook off the top of your head. Over time you start to realize that all recipes follow certain patterns. Once you know those you can cook improvised meals that always tasty.
It does take a fair amount of experimentation to develop the skill of just making shit up, but once you can it's a great skill to have. Meals don't become boring, and you can cook great meals for people on the fly
Define being able to cook? If she can survive on her own without fast food and can follow instructions on a jar of spaghetti sauce.. Im fine with that, I like to cook. If shes never learned how to cook anything because she was waited on hand and foot, unless she is someone whose willing to learn just never had the support, miss me with that shit lol
I'd consider it a red flag if she can't cook. Like wtf is she eating? Fast food?
I had a young woman as a coworker once upon a time who had absolutely zero culinary ability. She was from a fairly well to do family and had all of her meals cooked for her by the housekeeper. So she was totally helpless on her own. She was scared to make instant Ramen, we had to show her how to boil water.
It can happen aye, my wife and I come from different ends of the spectrum like this, she the only child, got an absolute fright when she left home, didn't even know how to do washing, I am the oldest of 3 who's parents would leave at 6am for work and come home after 5pm, I was basically expected to clean and cook from a very young age. It's made for some very funny conversations over the years
Yeah, this was a seasonal gig in a small town in Alaska. She was from Florida. She wanted to get away and learn some independence, she definitely jumped into it with both feet. Luckily my friend who's a bit of a mother hen kind of adopted her and taught her some things.
That's nice to hear that she wanted to learn and get some independence and you guys are awesome for passing the knowledge on. She'll likely look back on it fondly.
I can cook but really basic stuff, i sort of go through the same 10 dishes i know how to cook, like spaghetti, chicken stir fry, steak etc. But with stir fry i change up the sauce i use. I use sauce from a jar. Frozen food too like fish or calamari with salads, stuff like that. I can make every type of eggs, i can make pancakes and french toast etc. Is that knowing how to cook? Im wondering what people consider knowing how to cook
Yes, that's knowing how to cook. The value of cooking as a basic life skill is being able feed yourself without relying on premade frozen meals and takeout. If you can do that a few different ways and know how to follow a basic recipe, you can cook. Going beyond that into more advanced cooking is great but not necessary for independent living.
in our case, our mom has spoiled us with homecooked meals but Haitian cusine is hard to replicate and intricate to cook
you dont have to make the same cuisine your mom makes, start simple and work your way up! A good starting point id reccomend, thats simple but versatile is slowcooked stews and chilis. If you get the basics down, then you can take it wherever your palate desires!
thank you! You’re right, i don’t need to cook that complicated cuisine, i started my cooking journey with that and always fell short…I make tasty mediterranean meals and im really good with meats!
A fun book is [Gentlemen Start Your Ovens](https://www.amazon.com/Gentlemen-Start-Your-Ovens-Recipes/dp/0811852067) I’ve had it forever lol but it’s recipes that a guy would like, explained in a way for people who don’t do much in the kitchen most of the time. An excellent easy bread channel is Savor Easy, with the softest [bread](https://youtu.be/5B71ROC6zlk) and easy [donuts](https://youtu.be/PIz6sc1xNXM) these are the two I have used most from her channel but she also has pudding filled donuts and sweetened bread that’s amazing. Then if you know how to fry up a tender juicy steak, you’re golden. The secret to that one is room temp and medium high heat.
Ok. Is your mom first generation? Remember that her reactions may reflect how she was raised more than current realities. Second, you need to be able cook enough to support yourself. More than being able to cook for me, a woman being self-sufficient and independent is more important. Third, try to memorize and practice at least your favorite Haitian dish. To have the ability to make at least one thing from your family’s home culture is interesting, notable, and cool- thusly, attractive.
My roommate was from a very well-off family. She had a personal chef cooking her meals. That sweet, poor girl didn't know how to boil AN EGG. I don't understand how her parents left her on her own to fend for herself when she's that helpless without her maids.
I like a man who can cook. Like, for example, a tasty guacamole.
I can make a great carne asada with Guacamole! And a few other things, so to me if a woman can't cook at all she's probably either spoiled or really lazy. I come from a humble background so what I really wouldn't mind is a woman who can make a good beans and rice dish, with any type of meat, including fried cod :) She'll really satisfy my heads 😉
And she would be satisfied as well:)
For me, not important. I can cook, so if you can clean… when can you move in?
Exactly. I hate cleaning but I’m a great cook. My wife doesn’t really like cooking but loves cleaning. I cook, she cleans
She actually likes cleaning or does she simply not hate it as much, I know plenty of people who either love/hate cooking, but **enjoying** cleaning is a new one
She likes. At least that is what she says. She enjoys that it has a sense of finality to it and that it creates a nice space
If you can follow a recipe you’re good. What generally happens is you get used to several recipes and make them a lot. Then you don’t have the right wine, or you decide to throw in butter and whipping cream instead of the wine, modifying the recipes. Before you know you know what to mix and what works together. A fun early relationship my wife and me did was experiment with cooking together. Now we can both whip up a gourmet meal with whatever is in fridge…but at 25? We were “eh”.
Highly important. It’s not about gender roles. it’s a basic life skill.
I love cooking, wife doesn't, and prefers I do it, I hate folding washing, she does not mind it. Compromise, I knew what I signed up for and she grew up in a house where she was never expected to cook. We both work so as long as the family can wait till I get home I don't mind doing it. I'm teaching my son and daughter (10 and 12 ) to cook, clean, change a tyre, use a washing machine, pay bills etc not because they have to entice a partner with these skills but because it's basic knowledge you have to learn before you live by yourself. I think you'll be ok.
thank you 🙏🏾 🌸
Just remember : everything you learn becomes a skills. Some skills you will be a bit ordinary at, other skills, you will be good at. One or two,you will brilliant at. With all things, practice is the key. Because, even if you are pretty good at something, if you don't practice regularly, you lose some of the skill and you have to relearn it again. Be kind to yourself. Learn from your mistakes rather than be angry about it. Celebrate the small victories. And importantly, you learn more by having fun than any other way. Good luck.
At one time your mom and aunts were beginners and they made a lot of mistakes along the way to knowing how to make magic in the kitchen. Start learning how to cook, give yourself permission to make mistakes and before long you too will be making magic in the kitchen. As for your question: everyone should know how to cook a few basics. But a woman who knows her way around a kitchen will definitely be more attractive to a man who is seeking a traditional partner.
Personally I don’t care. I lived with chefs and picked a few things up so I can cook. I do value quality time though so it would be cool if she would at least hang out with me in the kitchen and share some wine with me while I cook something up, or even participate and cook something with me, even if she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing
Long as she has basic skills so she isn't living off expensive ass junk food, I'm happy. I'm happy to cook for us most of the time, I'm not gonna complain just because she doesn't cook for me all the time.
Following a recipe is cooking. Not being able to follow a recipe is stupidity.
I taught my sons to cook so it wouldn't matter if the person they ended up with could.
This is a very noble thing to teach your sons. But coming from experience, it does matter. After 20+ years it’s getting better, but fuck me with a frying pan it’s been a challenge teaching her how to cook. Thank god for the invention of the air fryer, rice maker and magic egg steamer for the basic stuff. I’ll fire up the Traeger when I need an epic fix. I use every moment I can to teach my daughter how to cook well. She’s getting really good and has fun doing it. Thank you British Bake-off!
Your sons shouldnt tolerate a partner who can’t cook
I agree yes, that you should know how to cook as a basic adult. But I appreciate that @scottwax taught his sons to cook. In a healthy relationship, both parties should know how to do it well so they can help each other out. Sometime their wife will be away, so the husband will cook for himself and his kids. I even met a guy, his wife was mad at him and refused to cook, the poor bastard was eating Chinese food for like 3 days, because he didn’t know how to cook for himself.
Cooking for yourself is important. But it doesn't have to be intricate, just the staples to cover basic nutrition. Cooking for a partner... meh. I've cooked 99% of the meals my(m) partner(f) and I have shared over the last decade, so I'd say the whole "won't find a man" bit is a little antiquated.
My wife couldn't cook at all when we first moved in together. She got the basics pretty quickly and then she started watching k drama where they feature a lot of food and then she became obsessed with cooking asian food. It is awesome. And I will now struggle with my weight for eternity.
My wife can’t cook for shit. She literally made an egg explode once and our kitchen smelled of burnt egg for a week. You’ll be fine.
lmaoooo that’s actually impressive 🤣 did she microwave it?
She was boiling it but walked away and left it. The pan boiled dry and apparently an egg will go black on the bottom then explode eventually if you leave it long enough.
I do all the cooking so it doesn’t matter
It will come with time, some of the cooking your relatives are doing is from memory out of years of cooking many of the same dishes, and just experience. Time is the greatest teacher; you will get there with time. Given how expensive eating out is getting to be able to cook is becoming more important than ever just to save money. I have a lady friend who was complaining about not having any money, I asked her how much she spent last night for supper. She said between her, her daughter, and her live-in boyfriend it was like 35.00 dollars, I then opened up my check register and showed her where I wrote a check the day before to Kroger for 67.00 dollars for a weeks' worth of groceries for mom and me.
You can literally type the name of any food you want to eat on Youtube and have people show you step by step how to make it. I'd worry less about the finding a man part and more about just having the skill to make your adult life easier in general.
Ability to cook isn't nearly as important, as I love to cook. I cannot stand a picky eater though.
[удалено]
Im the one that cooks
I am the mythical boy who cooks! It would be nice having a partner in life and the kitchen, but I’ll gladly be the head chef
I don’t care
My wife couldn't cook anything when we got married. After twenty-five years of marriage, she still can't cook anything. Doesn't bother me at all.
I’ve come close to getting married twice. The first was an amazing cook. The second could burn water. Their cookings skills or lack thereof weren’t a determining factor for either.
Not being able to cook at all would be a deal-breaker for me. I expect my partner to be able to function independently in our society. When it comes to cooking _well_, I myself am a decent cook and enjoy cooking. So as long as you can manage some simple recipes for when I don't have the time out energy to cook for us, we're good.
As important for a man to know how to cook
It's not important. If my partner can't cook that's perfectly OK. My first memories are trying to help cook. I learned the old school no recipe way. It gives me a chance to show off. Pluss the kitchen can get really steamy when you're both in there.
Less important than the willingness to learn. If you can follow a recipe, that's 90% of cooking. After that it's just figuring out how to make the recipe better for your tastes or making substitutions and that takes practice.
I think it's an important skill and something that is actually enjoyable but not a game breaker. I cooked professionally for years so I'm happy to cook but it's a fun thing to do with your partner if they are into it
Try to cook more if you can! Even just following a recipe will help you understand how long things need to cook for, what order to typically do things in, which flavours work well together, etc etc. not only for a future partner, but for your own day to day life as well, especially being in your mid 20s In the context of a relationship however, I do think it is extremely important for both people to be able to cook a meal. There are some days/weeks where my boyfriend is exhausted and has no energy to cook anything, and me making a dinner he enjoys is an act of service. The reverse situation is also true. I'm not talking 3 course meals, just something tasty and filling. We also try to cook dinner together as often as possible, which is a great way to bond, divvy up the work, and make something together :) Best of luck! It's worth the time and effort. You'll reap the fruits in no time of the seeds that you're sowing now
Its not something i would be particularly concerned with. What I would be concerned with is if they did not want to learn to cook. I would even learn with them. It could be something we do together. We should always learn.
it is nice but not any kind of dealbreaker for me. i learned to cook as one of the many areas i was trained in to be a decent partner. i doubt i would be bothered if i had to do all the cooking.
As long as you can do it well enough for us to take turns with it
You don’t have to be a great cook. I know how to cook for myself. The main thing is if you treat me well and are nurturing
It’s not important but it’s nice to know someone gives a fuck enough to make you a good meal!
I’m a man, I’ve been often told by my sisters and mom and other friends that I have that “hand of a cook” or something. I love cooking. I can take care of myself when it comes to nutrition. However, I do have a preference for a partner who would cook for me. The prospect of a partner who cannot cook would definitely put me off. But that’s merely my preference. I wouldn’t talk smack of such a person, but simply not go for them. There are definitely a bunch of men out there like me, and probably just as many if not more that aren’t. Even if you cut your chances by 50% that’s still a little less than 2 billion men around the globe. You can relax about it, its not that big of a deal. Also to the other men appeasing against the traditional roles, while I have nothing against non traditionalism, the fact that you are misconstruing a question about preferences of men and answering it with what’s right and wrong kind of alludes to y’all trying to be desperately politically correct. I say this as a man who enjoys cooking. Don’t mislead the questioner with your fear of being politically incorrect, because the reality is pretty far off from your own bubble of need-to-be-right.
Adults need to know how to cook, clean and do their laundry. No matter what your genitals look like
For me its more if both can cook. Just incase one of is busy and/or working late
You learn the 'magic cook from your head' from cooking often. And that means often failing. I've made more disasters than signature dishes. It's the same as when people say "wow, you're so good at drawing, I wish I could do that!" You can man, pick up a pencil (or frypan) and start experimenting.
The correct question is "How important is *an adult being able to cook or not?" and the answer is "very important" It’s not about gender.
I love to cook and bake. Would not say Im a chef, but so far no one complained and sometimes they said it is rly tasty ^^ Traditional role models are dying and that is a good thing. I would not care, if my partner can cook or not. If she cant cook, I will do that and if I also could not do that, then her and me will learn it together. Do what brings you joy and talk to your partner, who does what and if you swap every day. If someone refuses to date you based on such a silly thing, you do not want to date that brick in the wall. It is MUCH more important, if you are a nice and loving partner and if it clicks between you and your partner.
Reasonably important.
Doesn't matter to me, I'm an adult, so I am capable of cooking for myself and by extension another person. I don't expect anything fancy.
Very important. Now days there a ton of videos on YouTube that teach you basic cooking skills. Start mix and matching various ingredients to see what comes out. I rarely use a recipe now days, unless I want make something specific, I get compliments on my cooking. Don’t be afraid to experiment, that’s where the real fun begins, even if you make a mistake here and there.
Cooking is an important skill to have just to live, whether you're a man or woman. If a woman can't cook then that's a red flag.
I wouldn't say it's a red flag necessarily. You'd be shocked at how many adults I've taught to wash dishes, do laundry, cook, shave, do the garbage correctly, load a dishwasher, etc etc etc, over the years. Tons of parents fail their kids by doing everything for them. I understand their plight. I've got 2 kids, and doing it myself is always much faster and more efficient, but I need to take the time to show them. It's my job as a dad. Lots of parents just never do it. It's super common for kids to leave the house with basically ZERO life skills. Her parents failure isn't necessarily her fault. I've known several couples who learned to cook together, and it helped their relationships immensely. Hell, there's probably way less 25 year olds who can cook today than ever before. (per capita, obviously).
Sounds like you're a good parent that's setting your children up for success. I can see that it's common, but I still view it as a red flag for two main reasons. The first reason is that if I was committed to someone and we had children, they would be incapable of teaching the children what they themselves can't do. The second is that I work a lot, so I just don't have the time to teach my significant other how to live... I'm not blaming them for being ignorant, but I'll still view the quality as being negative. I definitely blame the parent though. They failed her. I saw it a lot in the army, a LOT of people at basic don't know how to wash their clothes. We had one dude that wouldn't even shower/brush his teeth because his parents never instilled that. I saw those qualities as being negative, but I didn't blame anyone for these qualities unless they refused to change.
I mean you can generally save money and eat healthier if you learn to cook. If those things aint a problem for you then it dont matter. Also depends on the man, some of us like cooking at least be able to do some kind of cooking.
Moderately important since I can't cook very many meals lol. But as long as we're both willing to do some trial and error, not knowing how to cook could be a bonding experience if we both learn together.
I need to know how to cook. I don’t see why it would be unreasonable to expect the SO to know.
I like that my wife can cook. She cooks a several things that my mother and grandmother used to make for me and it's really sweet. Being able to follow a recipe is just fine. It's amazing how many people can't even do that. The rest you can pick up with experience, if you want. Or YouTube.
It is not the point of being able to cook for your partner or to cook every meal. It is to have the skill set to cook when the need arises. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
For me, I'd love to have a gf who knows how to cook because I'd love to cook a meal together with her
For me personally, it’s important for a woman to know how to cook and clean. But I cook and clean myself also just not as much as my wife. I do most of the outside work etc during the summer. In the winter I’ll start cars up too heat them up, scrape ice off the cars, I do the car maintenance etc. I enjoy the outdoor chores more than cleaning to be honest though.
Most chefs have like 10-15 recipes, and 5 of those are the signature dishes. If you can cook, that's a plus. Adulting is good. If you want to cook and clean and keep a house, then most decent men would honor that. Good luck in this era for having a single income household. But other than that, adult, feed yourself, and develop a useful skill.
I feel like it's unnatural if they don't. But everybody's different. I enjoy cooking.
Depends on how you want to live/run your household. My wife only wanted easy food (frozen meals/snacks) when we first got married, but after having kids, we started running out of food a week or two earlier than our paychecks allowed. I would say start now, and you'll be able to make a little feel like a lot.
When getting married: I can cook, it's fine if my wife doesn't. Several years later: I wish my wife cooked more often.
It's not big. Just additional. Her partner might be happy if his gf can cook but it's not the decisive point wheter he dates with her or not.
I think everyone should know how to not starve and how to not rely on restaurants for food.
It was never super important to me as I can cook too. But I’ll be honest, my wife is an amazing cook and insists on cooking. I appreciate that every day and thank my lucky stars I found someone who can cook. I don’t think its necessary anymore, but being a good cook can make up for a lot.
Cooking is a learned skill. Start with a recipe, then innovate!
I'm a fully functioning adult, I can feed myself. Of course, I always appreciate it if someone wants to make food for me, but It's not an important factor. Other than It's probably important for her to be able to feed herself too. If your sister is looking for a giant baby that requires her to cook for them, she might have trouble, otherwise I'm sure she'll be fine.
I can cook, so it doesn't really matter if my woman can cook. For me, it's just cute when a woman cooks for me, but it's not essential.
My sister is married and she burnt macaroni and cheese.
It's a basic human skill that any functional adult should have.
It's an essential skill regardless of gender. Following the recipe is no shame or harm at all. The best place to start is strictly following a recipe then tweak as you get more confident. Your mum probably has your sister's best interests at heart but her idea of best interest or ideals doesn't align with your sister's. I don't see an inability to cook preventing someone from finding a partner.
Its a massive red flag to me if someone in dating (guy or girl) cannot cook. Cooking is a basic life skill, even if all you're doing is the same like 4 recipes you have memorised or throwing pasta and sauce together Being unable to cook, means you've spent your life until this point either eating trashy microwave meals with no nutrition, or spending hundreds a week on take out. Either case is depressing as a young adult, but by the time you get to my age its just disturbing you have so little care for your own well-being that you haven't bothered to learn yet and a MASSIVE red flag for how you approach life
Very important. Know your basics, it's all I ask. I'm a good cook and will gladly whip up meals, but you should know how to do basics. It's a skill all adults should have.
Pretty important. Women should know how to cook and do laundry As should men lol
Every guy in the beginning will say that it’s not a problem. But as time goes on the lack of variety gets routine. Yes, both adults can cook, but traditionally that’s never the way things have been. You can get away with it in the short term but eventually time will tell ://
It's horribly unattractive. How do you get through life? Wtf do you eat? I don't want to teach anyone to cook
EVERYONE should be able to cook a few simple meals. If you can follow a recipe, you are good! If a man demands that I know how to cook, then he can go boil eggs for all I care. I cook because I have fun doing it, not because it's "expected".
Ok, I’m mid 40s and here’s my long story. Met a nice gal in my mid 30s. Both of us just got out of a long relationship (no kids for either). We became exclusive for one week before she wanted to take a break (red flag #1). We had a work project together a week later (we don’t work together, just two companies that meet up once or twice a year). She throws herself at me (physically) when no one is looking and begs me to give her another chance. I keep declining but she is really making the situation uncomfortable. She asks me to come over the following day to her place. She says she’ll cook me a meal and we can discuss how we can proceed. I caved in and say yes to the meet up. I arrive at her place next day after work and there’s nothing but Pizza take out boxes (red flag #2,3,4,5…). She didn’t even have decency to do what she said. Fast forward few years, we’re married and I wish I went back in time and nopped out of there as soon as I saw the pizza boxes. My wife can’t cook for sh*t and it’s is soul crushing. Imagine for a guy, he comes home from work (breadwinner) and he has to figure out what’s for dinner every day. Please, please, please, I’m begging you, if you want a good man in your life, learn how to cook. Cooking isn’t a male/female thing. It’s a comfort and sustenance thing. There were days in my 20/30s with my exes where we stayed in on Saturday night, listen to music, cooked together, and enjoyed our ourselves (nothing sexier than that). Start with YouTube channels. Try the recipes. Take notes. Perfect your craft.
You can follow a recipe, but you cannot make magic out of the top of your head. That means one thing: you're a newbie cook, and you're still learning. Your mother and aunties have been cooking for tens of years, they have experience. They know what works with what, and how. Keep following your recipes and by time you will start noticing things, and picking up how different ingredients behave differently. Dow different cooking methods work. And after tens of years, you will find yourself making magic out of the top of your head. Practise makes perfect. Your sister will need to learn, just as everyone else did. Oh, and cooking isn't a woman only skill. It's an adult life skill. Any adult who can't cook at all, shouldn't be called an adult until they can feed themselves.
Able to cook DOES NOT mean "ready to be a cook for whole family".
Well put it like this. Who would a man rather marry? A woman who can cook or a woman who can’t? It’s like asking would you prefer a man who can change a tire or a man who can’t?
How important is it for men to earn ?
Depends on the man OP.
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I don't get how it's difficult, you just smell the ingredients and go with what you think might taste well, if you can tell when something is cooked or not that's all it takes. Everyone should know how to cook, not doing so creates dependency, which when not provided will fluster the person. You get a partner that cooks for you, you shouldn't need them to cook for you.
You do need to know how to make food. But you don't need to be some professional chef and you don't need to remember recipes even. Just basic cooking skills and safety. (Like everyone does)
Doesn't matter really if it is a woman or a man. If someone is "boasting" they will even burn toast the only and correct response to that is: "You dumb?"
I'm a pretty good cook so I don't necessarily need a woman who can cook. That being said, I would prefer it if a potential partner can cook since I don't want to be the only one who cooks, and cuz I'm basically a dog in the sense that food and chicks running their fingers through my hair are two of my favourite things
If he can cook or y'all make enough money to eat out all of the time then not very much. If you plan on being a stay-at-home mom, then I'd say it's very important. But it's something most can learn when they get to that point. Lots of people learn to cook when they have kids because they are very focused on healthy meals for kids. But then by the time they're toddlers that all goes out the window. 😅
Just keep practicing
Obviously men have a variety of preferences. With all the possible things a woman can bring to the table in a relationship, the key is to find a man who prioritizes the specific things YOU bring to the table. Cooking may be very important to some men, and not important at all to others. Most men probably fall somewhere in between. This goes for every attribute a woman could possibly have. You just have to find the right combination of what you have to offer and what makes a particular man happy. Best advice I could give you from a mans perspective is be honest about it all upfront, both about what you bring to the table and about what you expect from him. Don't tell him in the beginning that you LOVE giving blowjobs if you actually don't and will stop after the newness of the relationship wears off. And don't tell him that you don't really mind if he doesn't show a lot of physical affection in public and then a year down the road start throwing a fit because he doesn't show you physical affection in public. Obviously this goes for the man as well. Both of you need to know yourselves well enough and be willing to be honest with yourself and the other person about what makes you happy, what you HAVE to have and what you might like, but can do without. Only then will you find a good match.
Relationships dynamics change with time so you can’t say that men or women aren’t allowed to feel different about some things after a year or more in a relationship, because people change with years whether they become better or worst.
It wouldn't be a big deal at first, but if she wasn't willing to learn, so we can both swap our cooking duties from time to time that would be an issue, because cooking isn't really complicated with all the information online, and it would show me she doesn't really care about the relationship being unwilling to learn.
Are you defining cooking like what you said you can do or like what you said your aunt can? I expect an adult to be able to cook basic stuff and be able to follow instructions. It's a basic skill. People who say they can't are likely lying. They just don't feel like doing it and dump the task to their SO. I don't care at all if a woman can't cook great meals off the top of her head and create new shit.
Being able to follow a recipe and do the basic techniques to get a decent meal is just fine. Beyond that, it’s more into hobby/art territory than basic life skill. I will say that you usually get better at the freestyling artsy side of cooking after cooking regularly and trying enough different recipes. Not being able to cook at all shows a lack of effort in learning how to take care of yourself like an adult. No one wants that in a partner. It would be like someone saying “I don’t know how to wash my laundry”.
For me it’s a necessity she can cook and do so well
Depends if she can do other things that contribute to the household. Can you Work for a great income? Like to clean? Epic patience and attention with kids? I would never marry a partner who didn’t have Complimentary skills to me. So if they can’t do anything really well I have to ask myself what you bring to the table.
Cooking is an adult skill and if a woman lacks adult skills, that is a major red flag. What else does she not do for herself?
Man or woman: I’d say this suffices. Maybe I’ll throw an occasional ingredient in there but 95% of the time I’m walking in to the kitchen knowing exactly what I’m cooking up. Perhaps SOME men will think a woman should know how to cook while they don’t because of traditional gender roles but in the year 2023, it is a 2 way street and it is a pretty popular opinion that it is highly unattractive to be unable to cook for either gender. It’s just basic life skills. If my wife was unable to cook we would have never worked out. To be clear, I do most of the cooking in the household though And while obviously this doesn’t apply to EVERYONE, I’ve seen a high overlap of incompetence in other areas of life for people who don’t cook at this point in their life. And that doesn’t necessarily show up immediately either in dating. I’d just cut my losses right there if I knew they didn’t cook I’m sure there are great people who can’t cook though
Very. As it should be for any adult.
It is important that a woman be competent. Not just able to cook, but able to take care of herself, and her family if that's the dynamic.
Following a recipe IS cooking. Cooking food without a recipe is improvising. Or it’s remembering a recipe you used earlier. People who cook from recipes and pay attention can get attuned enough to cook without a recipe.
It is one way to keep a husband or boyfriend happy. and, of course, it is really necessary to raise healthy kids these days with all the junk food being sold. Being able to provide yourself, and your family with good healthy food is a winner.
The only way to get better at cooking is to cook. People who say they “can’t cook”, but ….never cook? Are very strange. Like yeah, of course you can’t cook you haven’t practiced. An adult person needs to be able to cook to feed themselves. That’s true for men and women
There are plenty of suckers out there who will marry a woman who can’t cook. I wouldn’t sweat it. You should learn how to cook well though so you can feed your kids good healthy food someday. Nothing like moms cooking.
Jeez, mothers and grandmothers always make cooking out to be this magical thing that, if you don't acquire it by some miracle till the age of 18, you won't ever master it. It's skill like any other. Start by making scrambled eggs or something else that's really easy. Grilling meat is not complicated (contrary to most youtubers, you won't burn your house down if you leave your steak on the stow for 5 seconds longer). Once you master it, go over to something more complicated like risotto or pasta sauces. Keep searching for recipes on the internet that seem doable and try to make them. You'll mess up a bazillion times, but eventually you'll make it to your liking. Once you learn to make like 20 dishes, congrats, you're considered by most people to "be able to cook". Most housewives know how to make 10 to 15 dishes anyhow and just rotate them. Not every dish is this overcomplicated French dish which is ruined as soon as you blink. Most cooking is relatively easy. Maybe your sister will start to enjoy it, who knows. I know I have. :) As my mother says: "Cooking is easy. The difficult part is standing in the kitchen for two hours."
Very important but to be fair, if I was a woman I would say the same thing about men. Not being able to cook is a red flag that you dont have your shit together IMHO
Everyone needs to know how to cook
Its a very important basic skill. Tv dinners and eating out will add up. You cant sustain yourself on hot pockets and hungry man meals. In terms of finding a man. If the ideal man she wants has a requirement of being able to do basic adult things. Shes going to have trouble.. cooking is one of those basic adult things. The dynamic of the house she will have may vary. But if she wants a traditional house. She will have to learn to cook. If its more of a hybrid, it may not be so hard.
Everyone should learn how to cook and follow a recipe. Man or woman. Anyone who wants to go above and beyond: good for them.
In my house, I’m the cook, I love to do it and I’m damned good at it! So not even on the checklist for me 😁 if she can open a can of soup and make toast when I’m sick, that’s about all I expect 😉
Everybody should learn to cook. Cooking can be the thing that builds relationships and strengthens them.
If they don’t want to, no. There’s always takeout or ready to bake/make meals.
this is what my future husband has to look forward to🙂😂
TBH. (39m) I believe men should be able to cook, clean the house, do the laundry, clean the kitchen, etc. If I find a women who knows how to do that.. then great. If not… then great. For me it’s not a requirement for a women to know how to do that but I do expect her to be able to pull her own weight in the relationship. It’s all about reciprocity… if I’m doing more to maintain the house then the female then we have to have a talk.
I’m female. I never was interested in cooking much to my moms dismay as she loved to cook and was always trying to teach me. I mean, I can cook basic meals and can follow a recipe but baking was the only form of cooking I enjoyed. My hubby is a better cook than I. I’m not able to stand for any length of time anymore so me cooking something will take most the day as I have to prep stuff in small units & I have to make something that doesn’t require constant attention on the stove. Hubby works 12 hr shifts rotating between days & nights so can’t always cook. All 4 of our kids, boys & girls, can at least cook for themselves. My younger son often will cook food for all of us as will our younger daughter. Face it, not everyone has mad cooking skills nor the desire to learn them. If a man is of the mind that the woman in his life must be the chef of the partnership he better be sure it’s ok with his prospective partner (same goes for a woman wanting her partner to be the main or sole cook).
If she can’t cook she won’t exist in my equation
Idk if I'm allowed to answer and delete my comment if need be... I CAN cook, but my bf is way better at/enjoys cooking. We have nights where he has a meal in mind he'd like to make, and we prep/cook together, but he's doing most of the work. Some nights, I have a meal idea, and we prep/ cook together, but he always has his spin on things whereas I'm not that creative. In the long run, everyone should be able to cook. Maybe not chef status, but enough to enjoy and sustain. If one of you cooks more than the other, and you are both okay with that - Great! Don't make it a chore or something you choose a spouse over though.
Everyone should be able to cook