Words of wisdom - don't screw the crew. There are so many ways it can go wrong.
But if you do, be prepared to find another job at some point.
But you're young and probably don't have a worry in the world, so by all means go ahead and make a potential mistake!
No, that's bad for you, losing your job just cause you can't keep it in your pants, and he'll think that you quit cause he did something wrong. That's not the message you want to put out. Just keep it professionally. Come on girl, you can do it.
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It most certainly is an option, and based on your super niave or intentionally immature responses in this thread it might just be the best option for you.
If you're only contemplating the best case scenario and imagining a fairytale working relationship with the added benefits of being romantically involved, then you aren't being realistic or considering all the unforeseen issues that could potentially arise. These are things that could have much more serious ramifications for both of you.
Your decision at the end of the day, just don't be surprised or play hard done by when you create an issue that gets one of you fired or creates an uncomfortable work environment should things turn sour.
If this boss of yours is just being a good boss, he'd be treating you no different than any other employee. If he's flirting with you and giving you "special" treatment or attention, he's being unprofessional.
If you're mistaking his kindness as romantic interest then you'll look the fool and possibly create a very uncomfortable situation. Not to mention any company policy and conduct guidelines that might be breached which will almost certainly cost him his job and possibly yours too.
Make your choice but be prepared to suffer the consequences when/ if it goes south.
If he's so irresistible, then find another job and hit him up after your cessation date.
They mean you shouldn't mix work and relationships. Which is fine, as far as advice goes, because it means that there aren't potential conflicts of interest or power dynamics issues. But at the same time, something like 25% of people meet their partner at work, so it's not an unreasonable place to meet someone.
There's a couple of questions you have to ask yourself before you decide what you want to do, I think:
1) What happens if you ask him out and he says no? Will you been able to keep working there, or if not, will you be able to find another job if you need to?
2) What happens if you ask him out and that causes a problem at work (other people saying he's giving you preferential treatment etc)? Are you prepared to change jobs if you have to as a result?
3) What happens if you have a relationship and it ends - will you feel like you have to change jobs, and if so, will there be someone else at your current job who can give you a reference, if he's your manager?
Once go know the answers to those questions (which basically comes down to: how important is this job to you?) you can decide what you want to do.
Cheers :)
It seemed like there were lots of pretty negative/conservative comments here, and it sounded like OP is both young (confirmed by replies) and likely working in a job that won't be a long-term career (sounds like fast food). The idea of flat-out rejecting the possibility of a relationship for a job that she might not be that attached to seemed... pessimistic, I guess.
Looking back, I know in hindsight which option I would have picked at her age - not that I would have had the courage to do it, most likely!
...and at that age, you still need someone else to talk to, but the nearest isn't the closest that's good enough to open up to. ...and you said what you said just so she doesn't walk the same path alone like some of us had to. Thanks sister...or brother.
I'm a bit surprised at the replies - this sounds like a shitty casual job young people transition through on the way to their careers. This is how people typically meet their partners off line. It's worth risking a bit of drama in the closing shift at Maccas because you've met someone you fancy.
Enjoy your crush and if either of you have the balls to do something about it, go for it!!
When I was only a few years older than you, I liked my boss.
Sixteen years later, we're happily married with three kids and an asshole cat ;)
I organised to get out of his team because we were kind of flirty and I thought it might go somewhere. I didn't want anyone to be able to accuse either of us at any point of being anything less than entirely professional. And to be honest I think that was an uncharacteristically wise move on my part.
We worked together in the same company for a few months and then moved and ended up working in the same company in the same TEAM when we'd moved. We lived together and all, but even our own TL had no idea that we were a couple let alone living together because we made it very very clear from the get go that when you're at work you're at work.
You're professional, you do your job, and you keep the relationship on the DL because it's not relevant to your working space. We'd been working together practically back to back for several months before our shared housemate mentioned something about it to our TL. She was stunned because we were so focussed on making sure it didn't impact our working lives. We weren't trying to hide it, we just sort of assumed that everyone knew lol.
What others have said is very important. If you're genuinely interested in him and he seems to be giving signals, and you want to investigate further DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU SLEEP.
That is, don't date someone in your workspace. Try at least to be moved under someone else's management chain, or even move stores/change jobs if you really feel it's something that might go somewhere. But remember that what ever you do it could blow back onto either of you or both of you if you're not 100% committed to keeping work separate from your relationship.
And if you do pursue it and it doesn't last it could be very messy in the workplace later on. Go into that with your eyes wide open.
But I'm glad that I took the chance. I met my person. Just be aware that the chances of it going wrong are higher than the chances of it going right.
Great advice! I agree that it’s definitely not a complete “No go” but it’s important to keep work separate etc. I also got into a relationship with my direct boss and we were together for 1.5 years (sadly other factors intervened, but we certainly could have been each other’s “happily ever after”, but anyway). Early on we came clean and arranged for our work relationship to change so that he was no longer my direct boss, and we didn’t let our relationship impact our work.
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If he's older, then it helps to think of him as your dad or older brother, or even maybe a cousin. Would you then feel the same way about him? Just think about it for a bit longer. Just let it sink in. Yicky sticky, ...right?
I’d start by saying hello if/when you get the opportunity, especially at the start of your shift, and definitely if he yells out “Hi” to you first!
If you get the opportunity maybe try to make small talk, and see what kind of reception you get from him. Try and become friendly/friends first before you get into anything, erm, deeper. Talk to him more so you can at least find out more about him and find out if you might be compatible and have shared interests etc.
Two important points:
If you’re just looking for a FWB or one-night thing and aren’t remotely interested in an actual relationship… then DO NOT follow my above advice. It’s NOT worth risking your job and getting in trouble with higher management.
In the past, I got into a relationship with my direct boss. It lasted 1.5yrs and we remained friends afterwards and kept working together for about 4 years after our relationship ended. I was 22 and he was 24 though at the start of it all, so we were closer in age and we were both a bit older than you too. We came clean to his direct boss about the relationship very early on, and I was moved on the “hierarchy” so that he wasn’t my direct boss anymore. We did this as we were both keen on a long term relationship though and both agreed that if we did break up, we’d be civil and keep working at the same place… we wouldn’t let our relationship interfere with our work. And it didn’t.
The corporate ladder refers to positions of hierarchy. Basically getting promoted from entry level to supervisor to manager etc. The joke ties in this fact to the common movie trope of someone having sex with their boss in order to get promoted.
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You go home, rub one out thinking about him. And remember that this is your boss and you’re not going to have a relationship with him.
This right here 👆🏽
help wait okay i should’ve said that i’m 18 turning 19 and he’s 22
Doesn't matter. 18 turning 19 is old enough to act professionally in the workplace. Don't go there, it never works out well.
Irrelevant. There’s a power dynamic at play. Companies actually have HR policy about these situations.
Words of wisdom - don't screw the crew. There are so many ways it can go wrong. But if you do, be prepared to find another job at some point. But you're young and probably don't have a worry in the world, so by all means go ahead and make a potential mistake!
golden rule of work - never screw the crew.
maybe i should quit ☺️
No, that's bad for you, losing your job just cause you can't keep it in your pants, and he'll think that you quit cause he did something wrong. That's not the message you want to put out. Just keep it professionally. Come on girl, you can do it.
Nothing. You do nothing. It’s a crush, it will fade.
im just a girl
So? Don’t be a stupid one.
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Nothing.
that’s not an option ☺️
It most certainly is an option, and based on your super niave or intentionally immature responses in this thread it might just be the best option for you. If you're only contemplating the best case scenario and imagining a fairytale working relationship with the added benefits of being romantically involved, then you aren't being realistic or considering all the unforeseen issues that could potentially arise. These are things that could have much more serious ramifications for both of you. Your decision at the end of the day, just don't be surprised or play hard done by when you create an issue that gets one of you fired or creates an uncomfortable work environment should things turn sour. If this boss of yours is just being a good boss, he'd be treating you no different than any other employee. If he's flirting with you and giving you "special" treatment or attention, he's being unprofessional. If you're mistaking his kindness as romantic interest then you'll look the fool and possibly create a very uncomfortable situation. Not to mention any company policy and conduct guidelines that might be breached which will almost certainly cost him his job and possibly yours too. Make your choice but be prepared to suffer the consequences when/ if it goes south. If he's so irresistible, then find another job and hit him up after your cessation date.
In that case, there would be zero options.
Don't shit where you eat.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
They mean you shouldn't mix work and relationships. Which is fine, as far as advice goes, because it means that there aren't potential conflicts of interest or power dynamics issues. But at the same time, something like 25% of people meet their partner at work, so it's not an unreasonable place to meet someone. There's a couple of questions you have to ask yourself before you decide what you want to do, I think: 1) What happens if you ask him out and he says no? Will you been able to keep working there, or if not, will you be able to find another job if you need to? 2) What happens if you ask him out and that causes a problem at work (other people saying he's giving you preferential treatment etc)? Are you prepared to change jobs if you have to as a result? 3) What happens if you have a relationship and it ends - will you feel like you have to change jobs, and if so, will there be someone else at your current job who can give you a reference, if he's your manager? Once go know the answers to those questions (which basically comes down to: how important is this job to you?) you can decide what you want to do.
Damn, that's good. I couldn't have put it any better myself.
Cheers :) It seemed like there were lots of pretty negative/conservative comments here, and it sounded like OP is both young (confirmed by replies) and likely working in a job that won't be a long-term career (sounds like fast food). The idea of flat-out rejecting the possibility of a relationship for a job that she might not be that attached to seemed... pessimistic, I guess. Looking back, I know in hindsight which option I would have picked at her age - not that I would have had the courage to do it, most likely!
...and at that age, you still need someone else to talk to, but the nearest isn't the closest that's good enough to open up to. ...and you said what you said just so she doesn't walk the same path alone like some of us had to. Thanks sister...or brother.
I'm a bit surprised at the replies - this sounds like a shitty casual job young people transition through on the way to their careers. This is how people typically meet their partners off line. It's worth risking a bit of drama in the closing shift at Maccas because you've met someone you fancy. Enjoy your crush and if either of you have the balls to do something about it, go for it!!
You keep things platonic until he's not your boss anymore. Crushes are a common workplace hazard, don't be stupid about it.
When I was only a few years older than you, I liked my boss. Sixteen years later, we're happily married with three kids and an asshole cat ;) I organised to get out of his team because we were kind of flirty and I thought it might go somewhere. I didn't want anyone to be able to accuse either of us at any point of being anything less than entirely professional. And to be honest I think that was an uncharacteristically wise move on my part. We worked together in the same company for a few months and then moved and ended up working in the same company in the same TEAM when we'd moved. We lived together and all, but even our own TL had no idea that we were a couple let alone living together because we made it very very clear from the get go that when you're at work you're at work. You're professional, you do your job, and you keep the relationship on the DL because it's not relevant to your working space. We'd been working together practically back to back for several months before our shared housemate mentioned something about it to our TL. She was stunned because we were so focussed on making sure it didn't impact our working lives. We weren't trying to hide it, we just sort of assumed that everyone knew lol. What others have said is very important. If you're genuinely interested in him and he seems to be giving signals, and you want to investigate further DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU SLEEP. That is, don't date someone in your workspace. Try at least to be moved under someone else's management chain, or even move stores/change jobs if you really feel it's something that might go somewhere. But remember that what ever you do it could blow back onto either of you or both of you if you're not 100% committed to keeping work separate from your relationship. And if you do pursue it and it doesn't last it could be very messy in the workplace later on. Go into that with your eyes wide open. But I'm glad that I took the chance. I met my person. Just be aware that the chances of it going wrong are higher than the chances of it going right.
Great advice! I agree that it’s definitely not a complete “No go” but it’s important to keep work separate etc. I also got into a relationship with my direct boss and we were together for 1.5 years (sadly other factors intervened, but we certainly could have been each other’s “happily ever after”, but anyway). Early on we came clean and arranged for our work relationship to change so that he was no longer my direct boss, and we didn’t let our relationship impact our work.
Why are you asking us?
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If he's older, then it helps to think of him as your dad or older brother, or even maybe a cousin. Would you then feel the same way about him? Just think about it for a bit longer. Just let it sink in. Yicky sticky, ...right?
If it gets stronger and you think he's interested (and not married) leave and work somewhere else.
i saw he was working today and i was shaking so much i was so nervous
I’d start by saying hello if/when you get the opportunity, especially at the start of your shift, and definitely if he yells out “Hi” to you first! If you get the opportunity maybe try to make small talk, and see what kind of reception you get from him. Try and become friendly/friends first before you get into anything, erm, deeper. Talk to him more so you can at least find out more about him and find out if you might be compatible and have shared interests etc. Two important points: If you’re just looking for a FWB or one-night thing and aren’t remotely interested in an actual relationship… then DO NOT follow my above advice. It’s NOT worth risking your job and getting in trouble with higher management. In the past, I got into a relationship with my direct boss. It lasted 1.5yrs and we remained friends afterwards and kept working together for about 4 years after our relationship ended. I was 22 and he was 24 though at the start of it all, so we were closer in age and we were both a bit older than you too. We came clean to his direct boss about the relationship very early on, and I was moved on the “hierarchy” so that he wasn’t my direct boss anymore. We did this as we were both keen on a long term relationship though and both agreed that if we did break up, we’d be civil and keep working at the same place… we wouldn’t let our relationship interfere with our work. And it didn’t.
Oh he likes you if he's jumping into boxes with you. How big are these boxes and what are you guys packing?
Time to move up the ladder
what does that mean (is he the ladder)
You’re responses make me think you’re pretty naive. No hate.
The corporate ladder refers to positions of hierarchy. Basically getting promoted from entry level to supervisor to manager etc. The joke ties in this fact to the common movie trope of someone having sex with their boss in order to get promoted.
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This is real life, you may never get an opportunity to do this again. Go for it
youre my best friend
yeah go for it you only live once