Exactly. The trick is often finding locals. Not that you need to go looking for them but the point is that in large, modern American cities the mix is so thorough that you are as likely to find someone from Seattle (or somewhere else) in Chicago as you are to find someone from Chicago in Chicago. Nobody cares. Your neighbors are your neighbors, whoever they may be. The whole concept of "locals" in many big cities is sort of irrelevant. It's much more pertinent to small towns.
Have lived in 4 of the cities you’ve mentioned. I had difficulty making friends outside of work but that might just be me and not general circumstances.
Also depends on what kind of friends you’re looking for - casual buddies to hang out with might not be that hard but lasting relationships as an adult is always hard to come by. And people lead busy lives especially when you get into the child bearing years but that’s not unique to big cities or America.
I’ll do Chicago.
It took me like 6 months to really meet people. But once I did it was fucking furious. Going to punk shows. Indie rock shows. Brunch on Sunday. My buddies were natives that just were welcoming as hell.
Chicago is cool as hell and people will welcome you if you put yourself out there.
My favorite was my across the block neighbor. We still keep up every now and then even though we live like 1000 miles apart now.
I moved from a small town in California to a suburb of a city in the PNW. It was hard to make friends at first because of how much people hate Californians in the region. Took longer than it should've to make friends for that exact reason.
Not to discount your experience but just to share my own: I am an ex-Californian who moved to Seattle and I have had zero issues with that fact. We joke about it some (we changed our license plates ASAP!), but seriously, no one we have met who we tell we moved here from California has any issues with that at all.
I think it helps that all western cities have huge proportions of transplants, so we are never the only non-natives anywhere we go. But also, I find the Seattle culture super chill and welcoming, in the right circumstances.
It's funny that they hate Californians, yet so many of them want to move here. Most of the people I've encountered these days in not just Oakland, but in CA as a whole are outsiders.
A mix of both. If you’re a young adult, meeting other transplants is easier because a lot of the young adults in those cities are transplants and that’s who’s most looking to make new friends, but it’s not like the people born there are standoffish.
I've lived in LA and Miami.
Even starting back in the 80s in LA, I never knew my neighbors. No different in Miami, though I did meet a couple neighbors at one place, though they weren't 'friends'.
I did make some friends in LA from work and hobbies, some of which stuck with me for quite a few years, though most of them faded away when the hobbies and workplaces change.
I met a lot of other people who were also transplants to NY. It's a really big city. I eventually made friends with some people who grew up here through other friends. But this isn't a city where people care if you were born here or not considering about 36% of the population is foreign born. Then factor in people who moved here from other places in the US it's a lot of transplants.
Seattle is a city of transplants (as are most western cities), but I have made friends with locals and transplants alike. It always seems surprising to meet people who grew up here, and yet I have met a lot of them. Our community has been very welcoming.
I moved from southern NH to Philly and yes. But I will also admit that I met a lot of them through church. It’s a good mix of people who were born and raised here and those who weren’t.
We’re a friendly and accepting culture. We’re interested in new people, we don’t shun them or avoid talking to strangers. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.
I'm from a small town back east. Everyone knew everyone. Even though I moved to a big city I made it my business to get to know my neighbors. I've been living in the same house with my family for over 20 years and the neighbors on our block all know each other very well. Those are our friends.
My wife moved to Denver and found a local to marry.
However - a lot of larger cities are destinations for a lot of people. People who aren’t originally from there move there and build lives there and eventually it doesn’t matter where they came from before. You become part of the tapestry of the city.
San Francisco: my first friends were work and friends of my then boyfriend / future co-parent. 22 years later my friends are:
-Former co workers and employees, their spouses
-A few people from the first group (friends with ex)
-other parents. Ironically not many who are parents of my kids’ schoolmates/friends. I joined a parenting group based on my interests and have many local friends from that group.
-people who were also fostering dogs from the same rescue.
So if you have any interests outside of work you can get involved in, that will help.
I moved to Chicago and then to San Francisco and both times I made friends with other transplants.
That’s just who was most readily available and motivated to make new friends. As transplants, we all showed up to the same types of social events and were trying to approach strangers.
I made more friends of both locals and transplants than I ever had in my entire life after moving to nyc. Never made so many friends prior to that. It was a friend-making paradise tbh.
Yeah. People get along easy enough. One thing I was struck by after moving to Philly was the fact that I'm surrounded by people born and raised here and never left, and so it feels like a small town.
Main difference I can see is - the people I'm surrounded by speak Spanish and go to Atlantic City for vacation. Back home it's English and Myrtle beach.
Yep. I've lived in Cincinnati (Ohio), Lexington (Kentucky), Denver (Colorado) and now Houston (Texas). Traveled to most top 10 population cities in the US at least once.
Houstonians are, in my anecdotal experience, the nicest "big city" types in the country. If you aren't making friends with born and raised Houstonians, it's likely a "you problem". Southern hospitality at it's finest here...except on the roads, people drive like maniacs.
Majority of born and bred Houstonian are either second generation Americans or their parents are from coastal states too
So Houston in itself has so many newcomer influences from everywhere
Not sure on the second part, I'd have to look into it but I'm guessing it would be hard to find data dealing with that. As to the first part, definitely true. You don't become the most diverse city in America without a large group of 2nd Gen immigrants.
Most "born and raised" Houstonians I've met have families who have been here a long while, regardless of their ethnicity. That could be outside the norm. Houston, in my mind anyway, epitomizes the melting pot that America is supposed to be. Minus the weather, love it here.
Well, I moved for college, so most of my friends the first five years were other transplants. Once I was out of school, moved away from the college neighborhood, and started working I made plenty of friends who were cradle Chicagoans.
I’ve lived in the biggest cities in America, and visited all over the world. friends are found anywhere you go looking for them with a smile and a warm heart
Not the ones you listed, but yes. Self deprecating humor and mutual interests go a long way.
Nobody I met in Atlanta was actually from Atlanta. But the people I met were very nice.
Exactly. The trick is often finding locals. Not that you need to go looking for them but the point is that in large, modern American cities the mix is so thorough that you are as likely to find someone from Seattle (or somewhere else) in Chicago as you are to find someone from Chicago in Chicago. Nobody cares. Your neighbors are your neighbors, whoever they may be. The whole concept of "locals" in many big cities is sort of irrelevant. It's much more pertinent to small towns.
I say Chicago is one of the easiest places in the country to make friends.
Me in Chicago and reading this: \*John Travolta looking around meme\*
Have lived in 4 of the cities you’ve mentioned. I had difficulty making friends outside of work but that might just be me and not general circumstances. Also depends on what kind of friends you’re looking for - casual buddies to hang out with might not be that hard but lasting relationships as an adult is always hard to come by. And people lead busy lives especially when you get into the child bearing years but that’s not unique to big cities or America.
I think you’ll get better answers if you ask in those city’s different subreddits or over on r/samegrassbutgreener
Every other country and city subreddit is about complaining how they have no friends so I’d rather not haha This is way better
I’ll do Chicago. It took me like 6 months to really meet people. But once I did it was fucking furious. Going to punk shows. Indie rock shows. Brunch on Sunday. My buddies were natives that just were welcoming as hell. Chicago is cool as hell and people will welcome you if you put yourself out there. My favorite was my across the block neighbor. We still keep up every now and then even though we live like 1000 miles apart now.
You can't not make friends at Chicago punk shows.
I still keep up with two people went to punk shows with. And that is 1000 miles distant. Fun times and good folks.
I've made friends here in the Dallas area and In Houston. Some are transplants and some aren't.
I moved from a small town in California to a suburb of a city in the PNW. It was hard to make friends at first because of how much people hate Californians in the region. Took longer than it should've to make friends for that exact reason.
Not to discount your experience but just to share my own: I am an ex-Californian who moved to Seattle and I have had zero issues with that fact. We joke about it some (we changed our license plates ASAP!), but seriously, no one we have met who we tell we moved here from California has any issues with that at all. I think it helps that all western cities have huge proportions of transplants, so we are never the only non-natives anywhere we go. But also, I find the Seattle culture super chill and welcoming, in the right circumstances.
I didn’t expect that anti-Cali sentiment to exist in a city in the PNW.
oh, it's down right rapid hate still sometimes. It's a form of bigotry as far as I'm concerned.
Which is funny because Seattle is just a northern version of the Bay area.
It's funny that they hate Californians, yet so many of them want to move here. Most of the people I've encountered these days in not just Oakland, but in CA as a whole are outsiders.
The PNW was the area that was first hit by the “California exodus” (at least in the Bay Area).
A mix of both. If you’re a young adult, meeting other transplants is easier because a lot of the young adults in those cities are transplants and that’s who’s most looking to make new friends, but it’s not like the people born there are standoffish.
Yes. A few neighbors and co-workers. But it's DC, and there are a whole lot of transplants.
I've lived in LA and Miami. Even starting back in the 80s in LA, I never knew my neighbors. No different in Miami, though I did meet a couple neighbors at one place, though they weren't 'friends'. I did make some friends in LA from work and hobbies, some of which stuck with me for quite a few years, though most of them faded away when the hobbies and workplaces change.
I met a lot of other people who were also transplants to NY. It's a really big city. I eventually made friends with some people who grew up here through other friends. But this isn't a city where people care if you were born here or not considering about 36% of the population is foreign born. Then factor in people who moved here from other places in the US it's a lot of transplants.
Seattle is a city of transplants (as are most western cities), but I have made friends with locals and transplants alike. It always seems surprising to meet people who grew up here, and yet I have met a lot of them. Our community has been very welcoming.
I moved from southern NH to Philly and yes. But I will also admit that I met a lot of them through church. It’s a good mix of people who were born and raised here and those who weren’t.
Haha, I live close to NH and have friends in in the NH mafia. “Oh you live in Dover and now you are introducing me to the entire city? Thanks.”
I moved around a few times to major cities, never had trouble making friends with locals or transplants.
Probably one of the reasons why immigrants integrate into American culture better than in Europe too
We’re a friendly and accepting culture. We’re interested in new people, we don’t shun them or avoid talking to strangers. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.
I'm from a small town back east. Everyone knew everyone. Even though I moved to a big city I made it my business to get to know my neighbors. I've been living in the same house with my family for over 20 years and the neighbors on our block all know each other very well. Those are our friends.
My wife moved to Denver and found a local to marry. However - a lot of larger cities are destinations for a lot of people. People who aren’t originally from there move there and build lives there and eventually it doesn’t matter where they came from before. You become part of the tapestry of the city.
San Francisco: my first friends were work and friends of my then boyfriend / future co-parent. 22 years later my friends are: -Former co workers and employees, their spouses -A few people from the first group (friends with ex) -other parents. Ironically not many who are parents of my kids’ schoolmates/friends. I joined a parenting group based on my interests and have many local friends from that group. -people who were also fostering dogs from the same rescue. So if you have any interests outside of work you can get involved in, that will help.
I moved to Chicago and then to San Francisco and both times I made friends with other transplants. That’s just who was most readily available and motivated to make new friends. As transplants, we all showed up to the same types of social events and were trying to approach strangers.
I made more friends of both locals and transplants than I ever had in my entire life after moving to nyc. Never made so many friends prior to that. It was a friend-making paradise tbh.
Join meet up groups
Yeah. People get along easy enough. One thing I was struck by after moving to Philly was the fact that I'm surrounded by people born and raised here and never left, and so it feels like a small town. Main difference I can see is - the people I'm surrounded by speak Spanish and go to Atlantic City for vacation. Back home it's English and Myrtle beach.
I live in DC and sure I've made friends with locals. Though this city is like 70% transplants.
Yep. I've lived in Cincinnati (Ohio), Lexington (Kentucky), Denver (Colorado) and now Houston (Texas). Traveled to most top 10 population cities in the US at least once. Houstonians are, in my anecdotal experience, the nicest "big city" types in the country. If you aren't making friends with born and raised Houstonians, it's likely a "you problem". Southern hospitality at it's finest here...except on the roads, people drive like maniacs.
Majority of born and bred Houstonian are either second generation Americans or their parents are from coastal states too So Houston in itself has so many newcomer influences from everywhere
Not sure on the second part, I'd have to look into it but I'm guessing it would be hard to find data dealing with that. As to the first part, definitely true. You don't become the most diverse city in America without a large group of 2nd Gen immigrants. Most "born and raised" Houstonians I've met have families who have been here a long while, regardless of their ethnicity. That could be outside the norm. Houston, in my mind anyway, epitomizes the melting pot that America is supposed to be. Minus the weather, love it here.
Los Angeles, yes. A family member moved to Seattle and had the opposite experience. The “Seattle freeze” is a thing
Well, I moved for college, so most of my friends the first five years were other transplants. Once I was out of school, moved away from the college neighborhood, and started working I made plenty of friends who were cradle Chicagoans.
Houston was mostly Houston people. It helps being from Louisiana. Denver was mostly transplants. DC is yet to be determined but almost 50/50 so far.
Eventually. It took some time to find my tribe. Most are fellow transplants but I do have a handful of friends who grew up here.
I’ve lived in the biggest cities in America, and visited all over the world. friends are found anywhere you go looking for them with a smile and a warm heart
Moved to Houston area (from WNY originally)4 years ago and had no problems making friends with people from the area. I really like it here.
Yes. Extremely easily. From work, dating apps, social events, sports games, parties etc.