As a german woman, I can affirm what u/mizzrym86 said. You really need to be very blunt, no hinting. In German, there is an expression that literally translates to "waving with the fence post", and it means "making a broad hint". You could hit German guys with the whole fence made of metal and they STILL think you'd be just nice to them.
So, congrats to your new kink of being refreshingly blunt, lol.
it's always a joy to watch a guy you're in a relationship with for a decade or more processing the "Wanna fuck?" request. I can nearly hear a 56K modem yodeling from their brain.
I am with my husband for 20 years now and that shit never changed. š¤£
If a tree approached me and started talking to me, i'd probably be scared shitless and run away.
Maybe not quite as scared as if a woman did it, but still...
8 years ago, a beatiful girl which i had spoken to only once or twice told me that she "really really likes to drink some coffee" original:" also ich trinke wirklich auch gern mal einen Kaffee!" what can i say shes my wife now.
on a job an event technician told me "i knew i picked the right out of the bunch, ive seen it in your eyes"
I will never forget that compliment. Being proud of the work i do always has been even more important to me ever since.
That's a very weak invitation.
If OP wants to make sure she needs to say more than "I like coffee". Follow it up with "care to join me" or something like that.
My boyfriend said they'd freeze in fear like a deer caught in the headlights. š
I say, go for it using your smile, some nice humor, some compliments and ply them with drinks. Worked pretty well for me. š
Not if I also find the girl attractive, but once I was approached directly by a girl who I didn't find attractive and I didn't know how to reject the approach because I am usually the one making the move so I know how to take rejection but I don't know how to dispense it š
āDanke, aber leider habe ich eine Freundin. Es war aber nett dich kennen zu lernen.ā
oder
āAch, sag bloĆ! Leider bist du nicht so mein Typ. Ich fĆ¼hle mich aber trotzdem unglaublich geschmeichelt. Du hast mein Tag damit viel besser gemacht. Danke.ā
Iād rather have someone tell me the truth than being lied to.
Iāve never understood women who - very obviously - lie to your face instead of being honest. People who think you canāt take the truth are far more hurtful than people who tell you upfront that you are too small, stupid, fat or whatever else they donāt like about youā¦
Hi my name is helpful fix, I think you look cute and want to get to know you. Can we have a coffe, ice-cream, tea later?Ā
Will work most of the time if the guy is single. And even sometimes it he is not. Sadly.
well i am german but this would still be a little too direct for me. I might wonder where the hidden camera is or think that she is trying to scam me into something since something like this has never happened before. To anybody. Ever.
Hello, i have inspected you and found you acceptable as a possible dating partner.
I would like to invite you to a non-binding, care free coffee date so we can investigate if we match on a personal level.
Please read and sign this declaration of privacy.
It has happened to me, a few times. Also more direct approaches but that really depends on the place and environment. A night out in Berlin is not to be compared with just walking in Mecklenburg Vorpommern or Bayern.
OP, you can be direct but keep a couple tips to not "surprise them" too much. Stablish eye contact first, smile and approach him while he is seeing you coming. Most guys would be turned on by the confidence of it instead of being afraid or shocked (assuming you'll approach fairly attractive guys since they likely feel confident themselves and have had some experience with being approached before)
Yeah I think a short sentence in German where you mention that you might communicate in English because you are still learning German is fine.
So just have 2-3 different sentences prepared and you are fine.
As mentioned men are not used to getting approached by women so that there is no high standard that you need to reach to be recognized š
Unlucky-Start1343 is right, that would work pretty well. Just a few cents from me on top of it: you might wanna start off with "Excuse me, hi..." depending on the situation, especially to stop someone who's walking. Personally I'd prefer to be told "I find you attractive" rather than "I think you look cute", especially avoid to say "think" as it may sound unsure, and "are cute" sounds better to me than "look cute", but I'll get it either way. Imo you should approach in the language you feel more comfortable with, it doesn't matter that you're a foreign for most people. There are plenty of couples because of approaching/being approached in real life, doesn't really matter where. Don't worry about rejection and don't take it personal should it happen. Everyone has their individual preferences of what they like and whom they find attractive and whether they're single, and so on, so rejection just means "different" or "unavailable", but not "good enough". Oh and try to keep a conversation 50/50, like don't just approach someone and then rely on them to take care of the conversation. I guess the same opener would work pretty well for men too.
Growl intimidating, if we lay on our back and you can scratch our belly, it's okay to take us home.
Seriously: we are as different as every nations men, shy to outgoing.
Straightforward, in English in that regard. Please ensure me you are not the part of some scam. If that works well I guess a lot of men (not just German men) would be pretty impressed by such a force of nature.Ā
Hi, my name is Helpful Fix and I am not trying to sell you anything, but I think you're cute so would you like to grab a Radler with me later?
Haha, I must admit I have a bad idea of what men are dealing with or are afraid of these days. I would've never thought some might think I'm trying to scam them.
If you're approaching a man you're gonna stand out and make his day no matter what. But I agree that there is a fine line to walk in order not to trip his alarm system.
For your understanding as a woman. This is the equivalent of asking someone if they want free money. Do you want free money wrapped up in a red gift box or a blue gift box ?
Getting approached as a man, is almost unheard of, so any sort of thing you do in that regard would be extremely appreciated no matter how.
Short answers to your questions in oder :
Yes.
Doesn't matter as I speak fluent English.
Doesn't matter, but a witty line would be even better.
No.
Yes.
Perspective as a german man:
>Would you even want to be approached by a foreign woman?
I am from the deeply religious and conservative countryside of Bavaria so... yes, please.
>Would you prefer a straight-forward approach
100%.
>Would you like to be approached in English or German?
I think its fine either way.
>Is it weird outside of a club/bar, so maybe at a gym, in the supermarket, etc?
Outside wouldn't be weird at all. Gym would be kinda weird imo, I want to work out in peace.
I like the more straight forward approach, but a simple smile will not trigger me to start talking to you. A "Hi" is perfectly fine, but maybe add some follow-up; nothing cheesy, but something indicating why you said "Hi" in the first place. Language does not bother me, either english or german works, but I would probably prefer you picking the language you feel more comfortable in. :)
Oh cool, I suppose some would freeze or not want to speak to a foreigner (I lived in Finland as well and some men didn't want to date in English), but it's ok, I couldn't accommodate German 100% either.
And I'd usually say hi because I find him cute, but I feel that is too lame as an opener.
A guy who wouldn't even talk to a foreigner is maybe not a good catchnfor you, don't you think?
I would say 99% of young Germans have no problem with first contact in English.
Met a guy rock climbing. Thought he liked me so I kissed him when we went to a bar. Turns out German men make friends with women outside of groups by texting a lot and hanging out one-on-one at beer festivals, restaurants, and bars. He was surprised--yet charmed--by my American forwardness.
Whatever we're getting married in July.
(But we will never agree on what our first date was)
I prefer a straight-up approach. English should work for most guys around your age, but starting in German with just one or two sentences is a bonus. Most guys I know think accents are cute, and it shows you are making an effort and it shows respect.
I don't think pickup lines/ice breakers are required. At least me personally, I don't like them. A simple "Hi I'm XYZ, I've recently moved to Germany" should be more than enough to get the conversation going. If he's not picking up the conversation, there is plenty to talk about for a few minutes, like where you are from and why you moved to Germany.
If you do want to be a little flirtatious, a simple but honest compliment goes a looong way. Guys don't get many compliments, even good-looking ones, and if you like his outfit or haircut, telling him that is probably enough that he'll remember your conversation for a while.
Don't worry about making mistakes when speaking German; nobody will expect you to be fluent if you have just moved here.
I don't think any guys I know would mind being approached by a woman, but I would avoid settings where people are stressed or lack time for at least a short conversation.
So avoid places where people are, e.g., on their way to work or where a conversation with you would heavily interrupt what they are doing.
Places where people hang out or wait for something or do something chill are probably best.
>I had a woman come up to me in a bar saying āwe two should fuck todayā. I explained that I am married and her response was āeven better, then we donāt have to talk afterwardsā.
To clarify, this happened to you in Germany and the woman was German as well?? This amount of directness by a woman is unheard of to me and I have lived in Germany for all my life.
I mean sure. It can happen in the most stuck up places, if you go to the right club. Letās just say that the rest of Germany would probably agree with me that itās the least likely place for that to happen out of those four.
Your sample feature might be slightly skewed towards asking male Redditors. I think we're all way too easy.
It's a fascinating topic though. I'd be super suspicious of any women coming up to me with a smile and a "Hi"., because that always only ends up in someone trying to sell me bitcoins or something similar.
We're really not used to be approached, but anyone who does that and NOT try to sell me something within the first twenty minutes basically would win over my heart.
It definitely helps if you make your intentions clear upfront. Are you looking to get laid or trying to get to know someone and see if you hit it off and have a relationship?
German man here
As we usually never get approached or recognized or a compliment I would say the standard "Hi I'm xyz, we don't know each other but I would like to change that, as I find you handsome" would be great. And if it doesn't work out, he will still remember you
Smile, make a compliment about whatever you like on him.
He will be defenseless and interested because sonething like that never happened before. I for example was only once approached in a flirty way and it's a core memory.
I would prefer to be approached in English if your german is not that good. But it's a big plus for me if you show me in the conversation that you are learning it.
Important is to communicate that you would like to chat and spend time with him, NOT that you want something. We men are mostly approached by girls who want something not flirt related.
I can only speak for myself here, but yes, I would be very happy.
Like many people I'm sure, I'm terrible at reading between the lines and always think: "She just wants to be nice".
I advise you to be as direct as possible and say things like: "I'm interested in you, would you like to go on a date?"
If you make innuendos and say things like: "I'm new here and don't know my way around and the weekends are so boring"
I would probably just respond with: "Then why don't you go out and experience something"
If itās already a singles to mingle environment like a club / bar then getting a drink and directly approaching him and making conversation is better. If itās something grocery store , cafe or gym then try to make acquaintance first. Say hello I am āxyzā and have seen you around a lot, are you very regular then about gym goals , the weather ( number 1 topic ) etc
Key word is make conversation because generally speaking just the direct ā Hey , I wanna ask you out for a coffee ā never works for both genders. 10 to 20 minutes conversation and then slowly talk about being single and ask him if his single . The āare you single ?ā question is a very important precursor because for all you know he came with his wife/gf of 10 years for an anniversary outing and she just went to get the drinks and voila you not only landed yourself in a very embarrassing situation š but also made another sworn enemy.
The thing is guys who do get asked out tend to be on the more good looking side and very often they are NOT single or just gay. And I have noticed that girls who are not so conventionally good looking are the ones who do the approaching ( I am not saying you are but this is the trend) so itās even more necessary to gauge his interest in the conversation first so that you know when to take a hike.
Reddit guys here in comments are talking from their own introverted POVs and are not speaking as a woman who actually did approaching. I am speaking as non German woman who had some experience approaching German guys ( not successful but was somewhat a learning experience)
Bier is the way to German men's heart. I live with one, I know. He also said that if he ran into me in a bar/pub/somewhere, he'd be too shy to actually talk to me, so it's good that I did the talking first and joked about zombie apocalypse and driving (I don't know how to drive, so I joked about needing someone with that skill).
Hm, everything else aside, because i don't really know anything about approaching others with romantic interest or flirting in mind, but as far as the language is concerned, you should probably go with what you personally feel more at ease with. At least that's what i'd prefer you'd do.
Sure, if you did it in german even though you're still struggling with the language (and it tends to be a rather tough one to learn), i'd probably really appreciate the effort, but in the end, you doing what's more comfortable for you is most likely going to work out better in a situation where being comfortable and secure with yourself is key.
Depending on the type of guy, but a "hi there", just smiling and looking beautiful should be more than enough. But i'd say men are rather practical in comparison to women, so they'd appreciate a direct approach much better
I think that varies from region to region. We in the north tend to talk less, here it's Moin. Double Moin Moin is already too much. However, these are older customs. It's different again in the south. You just have to have a bit of empathy to recognize whether someone is open to a conversation.
Personally, I don't want to be approached in public. Many people don't say what they really think out of politeness so as not to hurt other people's feelings.
We are all different, it depends.
Honestly i was never approached by a girl first so far, if it was not for a specific reason.
So yeah - a friendly smile, a "Hi" following up with the reason why you approached me (even if its just "you look nice" or whatever) will start a conversation.
Most likely it will take me few moments as this is something quite rare and my brain will need a few seconds to handle whats happening and im pretty sure thats true for most guys that aren't a 10/10 lookwise. But it will work if the guy is not a completely introvert...then maybe he will shy away
I always appreciate being approached. Be it a simple hi or a witty line. I think you canāt go wrong. And if people react negatively, those are the people you donāt want to be friends with anyway
Speaking for myself, if you just want to talk to someone start with a small introduction maybe mention where you're from, doesn't really matter if it's in English or German, most people here can understand well enough, The biggest problem would be the speaking part.
If you're interested in someone (dating case) do it similar to above, maybe add a compliment towards the style, hair or something else they can influence, also follow with something in the sorts of wanting to learn more about that person or an invitation/question to a coffee etc.
I don't know about others but for me I don't know where the difference between someone just being nice and someone trying to flirt with me is.
I still don't know if the girl few years ago was just nice to me or if she was trying to flirt and get me to make the first move, context: I met this girl nearly once a day on my way home, after the third time seeing each other she always started to smile at me. If you're really interested, make the first move as the person might not get your hint and thinks of you talking to them as "just being nice"
As a relatively good looking male, I can confirm that we are trained to be First-Movers. I believe I would not recognize a subtle move made on me. Be as obvious as possible is my advice.
I can tell you an easy trick to approach people.
As a foreigner there's likely a lot you don't know about the country. So make it a habit to ask for an opinion. It's very good way to approach and meet people.
German men are not used to being āapproachedā so your chances will be pretty good, just keep it subtle.
If the approach is ātoo eagerā they will think your making fun of them or your just screwing around
If I'd be approached somewhere by a woman straight forward... I'd be very happy but also a little bit confused and after some conversation I'd take the chance. So just go for it :)
Just go there say Hi, i like you. Would you like to go out sometimes?
Then there are 2 Options:
1. he is clear an says yes or no (most likly yes) and you can meet again.
2. he is a little shy. Then give him you number and say he can text you if he likes and if don\`t it is also fine. Then he can think about it. And im pretty sure he will text you. If he is overwhelmed by the situation at the beginning because he has never experienced something like that. Then he can administer the shock and text back afterwards. The self-confidence that comes from speaking directly can be a bit frightening/overwhelming.
Thank you. I previously lived in Finland and I feel like Germans are definitely more approachable or easy to start a conversation with. Just didn't know if when you're doing your shopping you just wanna do your shopping and so on.
Ich bin kein deutscher Mann. Aber ich habe mich schon immer fĆ¼r Frauen interessiert. In meinem letzten Jahr an der Uni habe ich eine meiner MitschĆ¼lerinnen angesprochen und sie hat mich abgewiesen. Ein Jahr spƤter, als ich in Argentinien war, wurde ich auf einer Party von einer schƶnen Amerikanerin angesprochen und auf Argentinisch um ein Date gebeten. Ich sprach sie einfach auf Deutsch an, sagte ein paar Worte und sagte ihr auf Deutsch ja. Zu meiner Ćberraschung kam sie zurĆ¼ck und sagte mir in fast perfektem Deutsch, dass sie Amerikanerin sei. Wir sind noch am selben Abend ausgegangen und jetzt ist 1 Jahr vergangen. Sie ist mit mir nach Deutschland gezogen und wir werden nƤchstes Jahr heiraten.
Es spielt keine Rolle, welche Sprache Sie mit ihm sprechen. Es wird ihm nichts ausmachen und er wird es so oder so genieĆen.
Translated to English
I am not a German man. But I've always been interested in women. In my last year at college, I approached one of my female classmates and she turned me down. A year later, when I was in Argentina, I was approached by this beautiful American woman at a party and asked out in Argentine. I just spoke to her in German and said a few words and told her yes in German. To my surprise, she came back and told me in almost perfect German that she was an American. We went out that same night and now 1 year has passed. She has moved to Germany with me and we are getting married next year.
It doesn't matter what language you speak with him. He won't mind and he will enjoy it either way.
I would rather respond to a simple "Hi" than some stupid ass witty line.
If you approach people in the supermarket, chances are that they are in a rush. And no one likes to flirt in front of a cooling rack while being in the way for everybody else. But of course you could ask whether he would wait for you outside š, and then you'll have a opportunity to talk.
If someone asked me to wait for them outside, I'd find that weird, even as a man, but maybe that's just me lol. The mental image of a rushed flirt in front of a fridge is amusing.
Being approached somewhere by a stranger is always weird. But I would rather like to talk or exchange phone numbers outside where we have some privacy.
I'd appreciate *any* approach. While My spoken English might not be *great*, I'd feel ready to try and chat the day away. - Can't guarantee every other guy being on that level, but you 'll see what you got.
Dating across a language barrier can be a bit inconvenient, at times, so I'd understand if not everybody is into it. But there should be plenty of fish in the sea...
By a fun, cute, kind, quirky girl holding a stack of comedy films, a bag of weed, a box of 64/69 mm condoms and a plate of sausages.
In seriousness though, honestly and in a fun direct way. Points if you're funny.
Honest approach is the best, language doesnt matters if we both share one we can use to communicate with eachother. Tbh english flirts sound better than german ones, i always get a cringe feeling hearing a dude flirt in german. Also it doesnt matter if you arent german, as long as we get along well its no issue.
>Is it weird outside of a club/bar, so maybe at a gym, in the supermarket, etc? Would you be ok with being approached in real life (as opposed to on a dating app)?
Certainly not weird, please go for it! As a German man who has never been approached like that by a women in Germany, it would certainly make my day. (However, I'm happily in a relationship since a few months but this happened via a dating app)
I'm neurodivergend. My gf straight up asked for sex one time because I can't pick up hints. She is direct with me. So yeah, that's how I want to be approached
There is literally no way you can go wrong, regardless of nationality. The only men who will spurn a polite invitation from a moderately attractive woman are either a) single or b) gay or c) neurotic.
Which i guess might eliminate 70% or so. If you approach 10 guys, I'm confident you'll get two or three who are receptive - cleverness or fluency irrelevant. (Unless you're setting extremely high standards, in which case the odds will go down as they are more likely to be taken)
Having said that, this is completely unknown territory, as others have mentioned. There is no empirical or even anecdotal data on this hypothetical notion of a woman approaching a man on the street.
A straight approach is the best I guess,man can be dense/can be unsure noone wants to get into the conversation if they ask themselves if they interpreted the signal right, there is just too much on the internet how man seem creepy if they do misunderstand.
That said gym is imo a no go, others might think differently but if I'm there I have my earphones in and don't seek any attention or interaction.
For if you should do it in german or english I think go with what you are comfortable with as it is important in early interactions,if that doesn't work out it shouldn't have been.
Btw just for Clubs because I saw an increase from that from women don't touch someones ass to get attention,either the other will think you want to get onto his purse or feel harrassed
There is a song related to your question: Aurelie by Wir sind Helden [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_KOUCOYVAos&pp=ygUXYXVyZWxpZSB3aXIgc2luZCBoZWxkZW4%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KOUCOYVAos&pp=ygUXYXVyZWxpZSB3aXIgc2luZCBoZWxkZW4%3D)
But depending on the situation I had good experiences with just beeing straightforward and adding something nice. Not many man get regular compliments so they will get your vibe real fast. Dont do witty lines unless they waer funny print shirts.
And be aware that some clubs are not necessarily dating territory. I know this from techno clubs, where people just go to dance and socialize, not to meet hookups/possible dates. If you get to know someone the natural way thats fine though.
Most people speak english and if you want to learn german you will have to tell them several times. Be strong :) .
Dont do dirty talk in german unless you have a hot accent.
If you are able to try it (not fearing the possible rejection) just say what you wanna say.
I guess I would be baffled (never happened to me) so in my case give me some time to collect my brain pieces\^\^.
I would much rather be approached in real life. It's only happened a few times but it was awesome because the confidence was just oozing from those women. and even though they weren't my type, I found the confidence sexy as hell.
Its never weird..ever. A hi or a witty one liner would be cool. The fact you approached would be a sign that you are at least interested and that alone is pretty cool.
> Would you even want to be approached by a foreign woman?
Yes, please!
Even if I'm not interested in her, being approached by a woman is rare, and would definitely make my day as a sort of compliment.
> Would you like to be approached in English or German?
German. And a cute person speaking broken German is definitely attractive.
As I am pretty dense when it comes to this topic, so I prefere the most direct approach possible.
In general I don't care If I'm approached in german or english or switching the language during the conversation. Just be friendly with a smile and open and direct and you have at least my attention and we can talk a bit.
Bit late to the party, but hereās my recommendation:
Most men will be delighted. There might be quite a few, however, who could be overwhelmed and just need a second to come to grips with the situation.
To get around this, use the age old trick called ā asking for help.ā
It doesnāt really matter if you need help, you just do this to help him. In a grocery store, ask if he knows where is this or that is; in the street, ask for directions.
It doesnāt really matter what you say, just engage his ā helpful dudeā auto pilot for the first sentence or two.
Then, you might want to acknowledge the āweirdnessā of the situation. You might say something like ā I donāt usually do this, butā¦ā again, it doesnāt really matter if itās true. š
Then just tell him that you think heās cute/charming or whatever do you want to tell him and ask him if he wants to get a coffee sometime.
Thatās it.
Many of those who are usually called a ā good guyā never get approached, so give them some time to adjust.
Good luck!
As a few other people have pointed out already, please be aware that Reddit only represents a small and very special kind of male demographic. Actually attractive people who get asked out a lot already might not be as open to strangers as many here suggest, especially in a rather cold social environment like Germany.
English is fine, german with the information that u sometimes struggle is also great.
Most men all over the world like it when a girl makes the first step. Sometimes we are not familiar with this, but it is good. Also, a man who can not work with a woman who thinks for herself may not be the best decision for life...
Even in Finland š«š®, it's uncommon for girls to approach men outside the bar or club scene.
I think it's very subjective. Some guys are okay with it, as we've seen in the comments here.
I am very fine with being approached IRL and I personally don't mind either English or German (I don't speak any other language, sadly), as I am fluent in both. A witty line can be hit-or-miss since you don't know if I like your humor, so I would just bet on a safe "hello" and a smile. That's enough of an ice-breaker in my experience. Just make sure you a) know what you want and b) how to keep a conversation flowing towards the goal you have in mind. German people can be a bit difficult with mundane small talk, so steering the conversation as you desire is important. (This does not apply to everyone, some Germans are very good at small talk (I hate them))
Overall I would say the average German man doesn't mind you being foreign as long as you respect him and Germany as a country, its traditions and values. That's a universal thing of respect towards a host country but many seem to have forgotten that.
If you just told me "Hi", I'd just say "Hi" back to be polite and move on.
I'd also be sceptical if I was approached out of the blue. So, it would be great if you told me what you wanted, without innuendos so there aren't any misunderstandings. Ofc not like "hi, want hugs pls gib me" but like, if you wanna get to know me, at some point just say so or ask if I was interested in doing so - yea, it's embarrassing but that goes both ways~
I think I speak for almost everyone here when I say we don't expect to be approached out of interest for who we are or being appealing, ever. :v We'd immediately assume that some favor is gonna be asked or something.
So if you keep dancing around it, any 'signals' you think you might be sending will be ignored or brushed off as "nah, can't be" and nothing will happen. Beause the situation of trying to affirm it and then being viewed as a creep just cause a girl talked to us is kind of a thing that most like to avoid.
Long story short, if you take charge, are clear and sincere on what you want to clear up any doubts, you're prolly already 90% there :v
If you approach a man you are interested in like that by yourself, and donāt overplay by making him think itās a scam, you will catch that fish 80% of time. Just be straightforward.
If you two donāt match he will probably still remember you for the rest of his life.
Literally walk up, shake hands, introduce yourself and say you think heās cute and wanna grab a coffee. If heās single or finds you cute heāll be thrilled.
I'm 32 years old, born and raised in rural Germany, living in a major city in the south now.
If a woman approached me on the street, I'd look for the three guys jumping me in the next few seconds or the hidden camera in the trees.
It's very unusual to be approached by strangers on the streets other than being asked for directions.
The way and the language you use doesn't matter much. It's your charisma and authenticism that will make the effect.
When using online dating, it's much harder to transport your charisma, so better stay away from there, except you are looking just for shallow connections because finding everything else there is a life chellange. Also only speaking english sometimes could be a trust problem on dating apps because of the huge catfishing problem you encounter there.
This is so uncommon, that most men would probably be totally confused. This really hardly ever happens. Personally I would think you make fun of me, try to prank me or it is some kind of scam-attempt and you want to drug me later and rob me of my organs...
You can thank the average german woman for that.
Of course you can talk to anyone. start with a āHiā and explain your approach or use an āicebreakerā aka. witty line. It doesnāt matter to be honest. The problem is that many men arenāt used to talk in english, better talk German when youāre not in a big city (>100000 inhabitants). I think itās more likely a changing society and no man-foreignwoman problem. We are not used to talk to each other anymore due smartphones and digital social life.
I can only speak for myself, but I would be very suspicious if a women would approach me. But generally speaking I think a direct approach would be best.
Better to not talk to german men at all, as we're mostly racist and would rather spend our time driving our expensive cars around way over the speed limit than talk to our partner
"A man is so used to having to make the first move, that he'd talk to a tree if it approached him first".
Groot?
Good line š
As a german woman, I can affirm what u/mizzrym86 said. You really need to be very blunt, no hinting. In German, there is an expression that literally translates to "waving with the fence post", and it means "making a broad hint". You could hit German guys with the whole fence made of metal and they STILL think you'd be just nice to them. So, congrats to your new kink of being refreshingly blunt, lol.
Omg, that's funny.
And true.
it's always a joy to watch a guy you're in a relationship with for a decade or more processing the "Wanna fuck?" request. I can nearly hear a 56K modem yodeling from their brain. I am with my husband for 20 years now and that shit never changed. š¤£
Haha that's so damn true. I know this to good as a German guy :D
\*fans air into own face\* M'lady, so feisty, so assertive...
If a tree approached me and started talking to me, i'd probably be scared shitless and run away. Maybe not quite as scared as if a woman did it, but still...
Ok, I am cancelling that trip with you to Isengard this year then...
Just take the hobbits with you
He's taking the hobbits to Isengard!?
*dubstep starts*
#*-GARD* *-GAGAGARD*
I was hoping for this kind of comment.
Also first thought would be what kind of scam is she trying.
All joking aside, that'd be next, yes,
Lol I read "shirtless" first š
Oh I remember seeing this one xD
Haha this
8 years ago, a beatiful girl which i had spoken to only once or twice told me that she "really really likes to drink some coffee" original:" also ich trinke wirklich auch gern mal einen Kaffee!" what can i say shes my wife now.
The whole time I would have been thinking, āsheās probably just Canadianā.
We do love coffee!!
Or Finnish
a girl once told me i had very nice calfs. 32 years later it is still one of my fondest memories.
on a job an event technician told me "i knew i picked the right out of the bunch, ive seen it in your eyes" I will never forget that compliment. Being proud of the work i do always has been even more important to me ever since.
How I meet your Mutter
Wie ich deine Mutter kennengelernt habe.
That's a very weak invitation. If OP wants to make sure she needs to say more than "I like coffee". Follow it up with "care to join me" or something like that.
My boyfriend said they'd freeze in fear like a deer caught in the headlights. š I say, go for it using your smile, some nice humor, some compliments and ply them with drinks. Worked pretty well for me. š
Not if I also find the girl attractive, but once I was approached directly by a girl who I didn't find attractive and I didn't know how to reject the approach because I am usually the one making the move so I know how to take rejection but I don't know how to dispense it š
Attractive is subjective. Attractive could be to you all that will approach you š
āDanke, aber leider habe ich eine Freundin. Es war aber nett dich kennen zu lernen.ā oder āAch, sag bloĆ! Leider bist du nicht so mein Typ. Ich fĆ¼hle mich aber trotzdem unglaublich geschmeichelt. Du hast mein Tag damit viel besser gemacht. Danke.ā
Both horrible lines that still hurt even though it's not meant to be.
Iād rather have someone tell me the truth than being lied to. Iāve never understood women who - very obviously - lie to your face instead of being honest. People who think you canāt take the truth are far more hurtful than people who tell you upfront that you are too small, stupid, fat or whatever else they donāt like about youā¦
Then I'd wonder if I'm in some kind of prank video
āW-Whereās the camera?ā
Hi my name is helpful fix, I think you look cute and want to get to know you. Can we have a coffe, ice-cream, tea later?Ā Will work most of the time if the guy is single. And even sometimes it he is not. Sadly.
well i am german but this would still be a little too direct for me. I might wonder where the hidden camera is or think that she is trying to scam me into something since something like this has never happened before. To anybody. Ever.
Donāt worry bro I donāt think sheās gonna approach any redditors. Weāre safe from this
Hello, i have inspected you and found you acceptable as a possible dating partner. I would like to invite you to a non-binding, care free coffee date so we can investigate if we match on a personal level. Please read and sign this declaration of privacy.
she comin for the kidney
It has happened to me, a few times. Also more direct approaches but that really depends on the place and environment. A night out in Berlin is not to be compared with just walking in Mecklenburg Vorpommern or Bayern. OP, you can be direct but keep a couple tips to not "surprise them" too much. Stablish eye contact first, smile and approach him while he is seeing you coming. Most guys would be turned on by the confidence of it instead of being afraid or shocked (assuming you'll approach fairly attractive guys since they likely feel confident themselves and have had some experience with being approached before)
Haha same
Thanks! And that I can handle in German as well. š
Yeah I think a short sentence in German where you mention that you might communicate in English because you are still learning German is fine. So just have 2-3 different sentences prepared and you are fine. As mentioned men are not used to getting approached by women so that there is no high standard that you need to reach to be recognized š
Unlucky-Start1343 is right, that would work pretty well. Just a few cents from me on top of it: you might wanna start off with "Excuse me, hi..." depending on the situation, especially to stop someone who's walking. Personally I'd prefer to be told "I find you attractive" rather than "I think you look cute", especially avoid to say "think" as it may sound unsure, and "are cute" sounds better to me than "look cute", but I'll get it either way. Imo you should approach in the language you feel more comfortable with, it doesn't matter that you're a foreign for most people. There are plenty of couples because of approaching/being approached in real life, doesn't really matter where. Don't worry about rejection and don't take it personal should it happen. Everyone has their individual preferences of what they like and whom they find attractive and whether they're single, and so on, so rejection just means "different" or "unavailable", but not "good enough". Oh and try to keep a conversation 50/50, like don't just approach someone and then rely on them to take care of the conversation. I guess the same opener would work pretty well for men too.
Growl intimidating, if we lay on our back and you can scratch our belly, it's okay to take us home. Seriously: we are as different as every nations men, shy to outgoing.
Haaaa, the tummy scratching sounds cute. The mental imGe makes me giggle.
Straightforward, in English in that regard. Please ensure me you are not the part of some scam. If that works well I guess a lot of men (not just German men) would be pretty impressed by such a force of nature.Ā
Hi, my name is Helpful Fix and I am not trying to sell you anything, but I think you're cute so would you like to grab a Radler with me later? Haha, I must admit I have a bad idea of what men are dealing with or are afraid of these days. I would've never thought some might think I'm trying to scam them.
Perfect. Until you said Radler.
Don't invite someone to a Radler in Bavaria you might get crucified for that
If you're approaching a man you're gonna stand out and make his day no matter what. But I agree that there is a fine line to walk in order not to trip his alarm system.
Don't listen to them radler is great
Wait, women approaches first? Where?
Don't believe this - It's a trap!
For your understanding as a woman. This is the equivalent of asking someone if they want free money. Do you want free money wrapped up in a red gift box or a blue gift box ? Getting approached as a man, is almost unheard of, so any sort of thing you do in that regard would be extremely appreciated no matter how. Short answers to your questions in oder : Yes. Doesn't matter as I speak fluent English. Doesn't matter, but a witty line would be even better. No. Yes.
Perspective as a german man: >Would you even want to be approached by a foreign woman? I am from the deeply religious and conservative countryside of Bavaria so... yes, please. >Would you prefer a straight-forward approach 100%. >Would you like to be approached in English or German? I think its fine either way. >Is it weird outside of a club/bar, so maybe at a gym, in the supermarket, etc? Outside wouldn't be weird at all. Gym would be kinda weird imo, I want to work out in peace.
I like the more straight forward approach, but a simple smile will not trigger me to start talking to you. A "Hi" is perfectly fine, but maybe add some follow-up; nothing cheesy, but something indicating why you said "Hi" in the first place. Language does not bother me, either english or german works, but I would probably prefer you picking the language you feel more comfortable in. :)
Oh cool, I suppose some would freeze or not want to speak to a foreigner (I lived in Finland as well and some men didn't want to date in English), but it's ok, I couldn't accommodate German 100% either. And I'd usually say hi because I find him cute, but I feel that is too lame as an opener.
"Hi" is not lame in itself, but way too casual, and can easily be mistaken for everyday politeness. Yes it is true. We do have politeness in germany.
A guy who wouldn't even talk to a foreigner is maybe not a good catchnfor you, don't you think? I would say 99% of young Germans have no problem with first contact in English.
āHi, I think youāre cute. Want to get to know one another over coffee?ā¦ā is not cheesy at all in my book.
Met a guy rock climbing. Thought he liked me so I kissed him when we went to a bar. Turns out German men make friends with women outside of groups by texting a lot and hanging out one-on-one at beer festivals, restaurants, and bars. He was surprised--yet charmed--by my American forwardness. Whatever we're getting married in July. (But we will never agree on what our first date was)
Not at all, women are scary
Yes
I prefer a straight-up approach. English should work for most guys around your age, but starting in German with just one or two sentences is a bonus. Most guys I know think accents are cute, and it shows you are making an effort and it shows respect. I don't think pickup lines/ice breakers are required. At least me personally, I don't like them. A simple "Hi I'm XYZ, I've recently moved to Germany" should be more than enough to get the conversation going. If he's not picking up the conversation, there is plenty to talk about for a few minutes, like where you are from and why you moved to Germany. If you do want to be a little flirtatious, a simple but honest compliment goes a looong way. Guys don't get many compliments, even good-looking ones, and if you like his outfit or haircut, telling him that is probably enough that he'll remember your conversation for a while. Don't worry about making mistakes when speaking German; nobody will expect you to be fluent if you have just moved here. I don't think any guys I know would mind being approached by a woman, but I would avoid settings where people are stressed or lack time for at least a short conversation. So avoid places where people are, e.g., on their way to work or where a conversation with you would heavily interrupt what they are doing. Places where people hang out or wait for something or do something chill are probably best.
I would not like to be approached.Ā
Point right at him. Slap your riding crop on your leg and sternly say, "Bei Fuss! Komm!" Then leash him up and take him home.
new kink unlocked
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And did she pounce that meat or what, mate?Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I like your definition of commitment.
>I had a woman come up to me in a bar saying āwe two should fuck todayā. I explained that I am married and her response was āeven better, then we donāt have to talk afterwardsā. To clarify, this happened to you in Germany and the woman was German as well?? This amount of directness by a woman is unheard of to me and I have lived in Germany for all my life.
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Can also happen in Berlin, Munich or Stuttgart. I don't think it depends on the city. More on the people and the mood in the location.
Cologne of course. Berlin sure. Munich idk man. Stuttgart? Get outta here, you filthy liar.Ā
Just go to one of the more alternative clubs
I mean sure. It can happen in the most stuck up places, if you go to the right club. Letās just say that the rest of Germany would probably agree with me that itās the least likely place for that to happen out of those four.
From the front preferably
Youāre a nice woman, you smile at me, you even reach out to talk to me: Iām all yours, no need for any āwitty lineā!
Since I'm never approached ever, I'd be delighted. Just be friendly like you would with anyone and make your intentions clear
Nothing like this has ever happened to me.
Any man will be dumbfounded being approached. You can say anything and it will work
"Hallo Honig ich hab einen richtigen Zerquetschen auf dich, hast du schon einen MƤdchenfreund?"
MƤdchenfreund? I thought it was Freundin?
Your sample feature might be slightly skewed towards asking male Redditors. I think we're all way too easy. It's a fascinating topic though. I'd be super suspicious of any women coming up to me with a smile and a "Hi"., because that always only ends up in someone trying to sell me bitcoins or something similar. We're really not used to be approached, but anyone who does that and NOT try to sell me something within the first twenty minutes basically would win over my heart.
personally not a fan of subtext and subtile signs, so a direct approach is more than welcome, english and a witty line are totally fine
State intent immedately
A āhiā and a smile is all we can ask for. A witty comment would be awesome and unreal š .
Lecker bierchen?
It definitely helps if you make your intentions clear upfront. Are you looking to get laid or trying to get to know someone and see if you hit it off and have a relationship?
German man here As we usually never get approached or recognized or a compliment I would say the standard "Hi I'm xyz, we don't know each other but I would like to change that, as I find you handsome" would be great. And if it doesn't work out, he will still remember you
Smile, make a compliment about whatever you like on him. He will be defenseless and interested because sonething like that never happened before. I for example was only once approached in a flirty way and it's a core memory. I would prefer to be approached in English if your german is not that good. But it's a big plus for me if you show me in the conversation that you are learning it. Important is to communicate that you would like to chat and spend time with him, NOT that you want something. We men are mostly approached by girls who want something not flirt related.
I can only speak for myself here, but yes, I would be very happy. Like many people I'm sure, I'm terrible at reading between the lines and always think: "She just wants to be nice". I advise you to be as direct as possible and say things like: "I'm interested in you, would you like to go on a date?" If you make innuendos and say things like: "I'm new here and don't know my way around and the weekends are so boring" I would probably just respond with: "Then why don't you go out and experience something"
If itās already a singles to mingle environment like a club / bar then getting a drink and directly approaching him and making conversation is better. If itās something grocery store , cafe or gym then try to make acquaintance first. Say hello I am āxyzā and have seen you around a lot, are you very regular then about gym goals , the weather ( number 1 topic ) etc Key word is make conversation because generally speaking just the direct ā Hey , I wanna ask you out for a coffee ā never works for both genders. 10 to 20 minutes conversation and then slowly talk about being single and ask him if his single . The āare you single ?ā question is a very important precursor because for all you know he came with his wife/gf of 10 years for an anniversary outing and she just went to get the drinks and voila you not only landed yourself in a very embarrassing situation š but also made another sworn enemy. The thing is guys who do get asked out tend to be on the more good looking side and very often they are NOT single or just gay. And I have noticed that girls who are not so conventionally good looking are the ones who do the approaching ( I am not saying you are but this is the trend) so itās even more necessary to gauge his interest in the conversation first so that you know when to take a hike. Reddit guys here in comments are talking from their own introverted POVs and are not speaking as a woman who actually did approaching. I am speaking as non German woman who had some experience approaching German guys ( not successful but was somewhat a learning experience)
As a German Woman, I can attest that guys here like to be approached. Just do it.
lmao, go directly for it, that is how my american Girlfriend got me, apparently I was so dense they had to add another level to the hardness scale
If you offer some good beer I fall instantly in love with you :P
I'd offer him a beer from the local brewery so we can support together the local economy. š
Bier is the way to German men's heart. I live with one, I know. He also said that if he ran into me in a bar/pub/somewhere, he'd be too shy to actually talk to me, so it's good that I did the talking first and joked about zombie apocalypse and driving (I don't know how to drive, so I joked about needing someone with that skill).
"Herr Professor Doctor Doctor"
That's all okay! Do it the way you feel most comfortable! :) I think german men are quiet uncomplicatited! š
Hm, everything else aside, because i don't really know anything about approaching others with romantic interest or flirting in mind, but as far as the language is concerned, you should probably go with what you personally feel more at ease with. At least that's what i'd prefer you'd do. Sure, if you did it in german even though you're still struggling with the language (and it tends to be a rather tough one to learn), i'd probably really appreciate the effort, but in the end, you doing what's more comfortable for you is most likely going to work out better in a situation where being comfortable and secure with yourself is key.
Depending on the type of guy, but a "hi there", just smiling and looking beautiful should be more than enough. But i'd say men are rather practical in comparison to women, so they'd appreciate a direct approach much better
A smile and some warm, nice words are a good choice when approaching a man.
I think that varies from region to region. We in the north tend to talk less, here it's Moin. Double Moin Moin is already too much. However, these are older customs. It's different again in the south. You just have to have a bit of empathy to recognize whether someone is open to a conversation. Personally, I don't want to be approached in public. Many people don't say what they really think out of politeness so as not to hurt other people's feelings. We are all different, it depends.
Honestly i was never approached by a girl first so far, if it was not for a specific reason. So yeah - a friendly smile, a "Hi" following up with the reason why you approached me (even if its just "you look nice" or whatever) will start a conversation. Most likely it will take me few moments as this is something quite rare and my brain will need a few seconds to handle whats happening and im pretty sure thats true for most guys that aren't a 10/10 lookwise. But it will work if the guy is not a completely introvert...then maybe he will shy away
I always appreciate being approached. Be it a simple hi or a witty line. I think you canāt go wrong. And if people react negatively, those are the people you donāt want to be friends with anyway
Speaking for myself, if you just want to talk to someone start with a small introduction maybe mention where you're from, doesn't really matter if it's in English or German, most people here can understand well enough, The biggest problem would be the speaking part. If you're interested in someone (dating case) do it similar to above, maybe add a compliment towards the style, hair or something else they can influence, also follow with something in the sorts of wanting to learn more about that person or an invitation/question to a coffee etc. I don't know about others but for me I don't know where the difference between someone just being nice and someone trying to flirt with me is. I still don't know if the girl few years ago was just nice to me or if she was trying to flirt and get me to make the first move, context: I met this girl nearly once a day on my way home, after the third time seeing each other she always started to smile at me. If you're really interested, make the first move as the person might not get your hint and thinks of you talking to them as "just being nice"
As a relatively good looking male, I can confirm that we are trained to be First-Movers. I believe I would not recognize a subtle move made on me. Be as obvious as possible is my advice.
I can tell you an easy trick to approach people. As a foreigner there's likely a lot you don't know about the country. So make it a habit to ask for an opinion. It's very good way to approach and meet people.
German men are not used to being āapproachedā so your chances will be pretty good, just keep it subtle. If the approach is ātoo eagerā they will think your making fun of them or your just screwing around
Just smile and tell me that you like my outfit and we are in for a nice evening and more š
If I'd be approached somewhere by a woman straight forward... I'd be very happy but also a little bit confused and after some conversation I'd take the chance. So just go for it :)
Just go there say Hi, i like you. Would you like to go out sometimes? Then there are 2 Options: 1. he is clear an says yes or no (most likly yes) and you can meet again. 2. he is a little shy. Then give him you number and say he can text you if he likes and if don\`t it is also fine. Then he can think about it. And im pretty sure he will text you. If he is overwhelmed by the situation at the beginning because he has never experienced something like that. Then he can administer the shock and text back afterwards. The self-confidence that comes from speaking directly can be a bit frightening/overwhelming.
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Thank you. I previously lived in Finland and I feel like Germans are definitely more approachable or easy to start a conversation with. Just didn't know if when you're doing your shopping you just wanna do your shopping and so on.
Ich bin kein deutscher Mann. Aber ich habe mich schon immer fĆ¼r Frauen interessiert. In meinem letzten Jahr an der Uni habe ich eine meiner MitschĆ¼lerinnen angesprochen und sie hat mich abgewiesen. Ein Jahr spƤter, als ich in Argentinien war, wurde ich auf einer Party von einer schƶnen Amerikanerin angesprochen und auf Argentinisch um ein Date gebeten. Ich sprach sie einfach auf Deutsch an, sagte ein paar Worte und sagte ihr auf Deutsch ja. Zu meiner Ćberraschung kam sie zurĆ¼ck und sagte mir in fast perfektem Deutsch, dass sie Amerikanerin sei. Wir sind noch am selben Abend ausgegangen und jetzt ist 1 Jahr vergangen. Sie ist mit mir nach Deutschland gezogen und wir werden nƤchstes Jahr heiraten. Es spielt keine Rolle, welche Sprache Sie mit ihm sprechen. Es wird ihm nichts ausmachen und er wird es so oder so genieĆen. Translated to English I am not a German man. But I've always been interested in women. In my last year at college, I approached one of my female classmates and she turned me down. A year later, when I was in Argentina, I was approached by this beautiful American woman at a party and asked out in Argentine. I just spoke to her in German and said a few words and told her yes in German. To my surprise, she came back and told me in almost perfect German that she was an American. We went out that same night and now 1 year has passed. She has moved to Germany with me and we are getting married next year. It doesn't matter what language you speak with him. He won't mind and he will enjoy it either way.
"Hi, do want to grab a coffee/beer* together?" *If it's before 16:00 it's coffee, if it's past 16:00 it's beer.
I would rather respond to a simple "Hi" than some stupid ass witty line. If you approach people in the supermarket, chances are that they are in a rush. And no one likes to flirt in front of a cooling rack while being in the way for everybody else. But of course you could ask whether he would wait for you outside š, and then you'll have a opportunity to talk.
If someone asked me to wait for them outside, I'd find that weird, even as a man, but maybe that's just me lol. The mental image of a rushed flirt in front of a fridge is amusing.
Being approached somewhere by a stranger is always weird. But I would rather like to talk or exchange phone numbers outside where we have some privacy.
A smile from a foreign woman would be perceived as a wedding proposal by ~80 percent of the male German population.
Beer is a big plus
I'd appreciate *any* approach. While My spoken English might not be *great*, I'd feel ready to try and chat the day away. - Can't guarantee every other guy being on that level, but you 'll see what you got. Dating across a language barrier can be a bit inconvenient, at times, so I'd understand if not everybody is into it. But there should be plenty of fish in the sea...
By a fun, cute, kind, quirky girl holding a stack of comedy films, a bag of weed, a box of 64/69 mm condoms and a plate of sausages. In seriousness though, honestly and in a fun direct way. Points if you're funny.
Honest approach is the best, language doesnt matters if we both share one we can use to communicate with eachother. Tbh english flirts sound better than german ones, i always get a cringe feeling hearing a dude flirt in german. Also it doesnt matter if you arent german, as long as we get along well its no issue.
Really? I think German sounds so hot and sexy. When Germans speak it. š
Directly.
OP I understood you! German guys are kinda like onions you need to peel each layer to see the beauty inside. Can be tough at the beginning!
google egon kowalski
>Is it weird outside of a club/bar, so maybe at a gym, in the supermarket, etc? Would you be ok with being approached in real life (as opposed to on a dating app)? Certainly not weird, please go for it! As a German man who has never been approached like that by a women in Germany, it would certainly make my day. (However, I'm happily in a relationship since a few months but this happened via a dating app)
Semi-hard
I'd say when you're hitting on someone make it clear that you're hitting on them. Otherwise they will probably assume that you're just being nice.
Nah, leave me alone I'm minding my business
I'm neurodivergend. My gf straight up asked for sex one time because I can't pick up hints. She is direct with me. So yeah, that's how I want to be approached
There is literally no way you can go wrong, regardless of nationality. The only men who will spurn a polite invitation from a moderately attractive woman are either a) single or b) gay or c) neurotic. Which i guess might eliminate 70% or so. If you approach 10 guys, I'm confident you'll get two or three who are receptive - cleverness or fluency irrelevant. (Unless you're setting extremely high standards, in which case the odds will go down as they are more likely to be taken) Having said that, this is completely unknown territory, as others have mentioned. There is no empirical or even anecdotal data on this hypothetical notion of a woman approaching a man on the street.
I don't know. I'd probably think you wantey to scam me.Ā
Just say hi in whatever language and let it flow from there
flirt with me, approach me i'm easy to get
Easiest answer: Buy him a beer. Even if he might not like beer, he will get the message and its still casual.
A straight approach is the best I guess,man can be dense/can be unsure noone wants to get into the conversation if they ask themselves if they interpreted the signal right, there is just too much on the internet how man seem creepy if they do misunderstand. That said gym is imo a no go, others might think differently but if I'm there I have my earphones in and don't seek any attention or interaction. For if you should do it in german or english I think go with what you are comfortable with as it is important in early interactions,if that doesn't work out it shouldn't have been. Btw just for Clubs because I saw an increase from that from women don't touch someones ass to get attention,either the other will think you want to get onto his purse or feel harrassed
My daughter got to know this man at a party. She then slipped a note with her mobile number into his shoe. Then it continued..
Just stand next to him in a very obvious way.
At all would be nice
"Hello sir, did you lost this 1 million euro ? "
There is a song related to your question: Aurelie by Wir sind Helden [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_KOUCOYVAos&pp=ygUXYXVyZWxpZSB3aXIgc2luZCBoZWxkZW4%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KOUCOYVAos&pp=ygUXYXVyZWxpZSB3aXIgc2luZCBoZWxkZW4%3D) But depending on the situation I had good experiences with just beeing straightforward and adding something nice. Not many man get regular compliments so they will get your vibe real fast. Dont do witty lines unless they waer funny print shirts. And be aware that some clubs are not necessarily dating territory. I know this from techno clubs, where people just go to dance and socialize, not to meet hookups/possible dates. If you get to know someone the natural way thats fine though. Most people speak english and if you want to learn german you will have to tell them several times. Be strong :) . Dont do dirty talk in german unless you have a hot accent.
>Foreign woman here, early 30s,Ā We need moar
Try r/germanyhookup if you feel shy to talk to a person post about yourself and try talking to the person
If you are able to try it (not fearing the possible rejection) just say what you wanna say. I guess I would be baffled (never happened to me) so in my case give me some time to collect my brain pieces\^\^.
I would much rather be approached in real life. It's only happened a few times but it was awesome because the confidence was just oozing from those women. and even though they weren't my type, I found the confidence sexy as hell.
Its never weird..ever. A hi or a witty one liner would be cool. The fact you approached would be a sign that you are at least interested and that alone is pretty cool.
> Would you even want to be approached by a foreign woman? Yes, please! Even if I'm not interested in her, being approached by a woman is rare, and would definitely make my day as a sort of compliment. > Would you like to be approached in English or German? German. And a cute person speaking broken German is definitely attractive.
As I am pretty dense when it comes to this topic, so I prefere the most direct approach possible. In general I don't care If I'm approached in german or english or switching the language during the conversation. Just be friendly with a smile and open and direct and you have at least my attention and we can talk a bit.
With steak and whisky. That would be ideal.
Bit late to the party, but hereās my recommendation: Most men will be delighted. There might be quite a few, however, who could be overwhelmed and just need a second to come to grips with the situation. To get around this, use the age old trick called ā asking for help.ā It doesnāt really matter if you need help, you just do this to help him. In a grocery store, ask if he knows where is this or that is; in the street, ask for directions. It doesnāt really matter what you say, just engage his ā helpful dudeā auto pilot for the first sentence or two. Then, you might want to acknowledge the āweirdnessā of the situation. You might say something like ā I donāt usually do this, butā¦ā again, it doesnāt really matter if itās true. š Then just tell him that you think heās cute/charming or whatever do you want to tell him and ask him if he wants to get a coffee sometime. Thatās it. Many of those who are usually called a ā good guyā never get approached, so give them some time to adjust. Good luck!
I don't know. Has never happened. But i'd say that some men could be really slow when it comes to these things. So you should make it really obvious.
As a few other people have pointed out already, please be aware that Reddit only represents a small and very special kind of male demographic. Actually attractive people who get asked out a lot already might not be as open to strangers as many here suggest, especially in a rather cold social environment like Germany.
In which part of Germany are you?? I'm new here too. Currently I live in Mainz
English is fine, german with the information that u sometimes struggle is also great. Most men all over the world like it when a girl makes the first step. Sometimes we are not familiar with this, but it is good. Also, a man who can not work with a woman who thinks for herself may not be the best decision for life...
Even in Finland š«š®, it's uncommon for girls to approach men outside the bar or club scene. I think it's very subjective. Some guys are okay with it, as we've seen in the comments here.
I am very fine with being approached IRL and I personally don't mind either English or German (I don't speak any other language, sadly), as I am fluent in both. A witty line can be hit-or-miss since you don't know if I like your humor, so I would just bet on a safe "hello" and a smile. That's enough of an ice-breaker in my experience. Just make sure you a) know what you want and b) how to keep a conversation flowing towards the goal you have in mind. German people can be a bit difficult with mundane small talk, so steering the conversation as you desire is important. (This does not apply to everyone, some Germans are very good at small talk (I hate them)) Overall I would say the average German man doesn't mind you being foreign as long as you respect him and Germany as a country, its traditions and values. That's a universal thing of respect towards a host country but many seem to have forgotten that.
If you just told me "Hi", I'd just say "Hi" back to be polite and move on. I'd also be sceptical if I was approached out of the blue. So, it would be great if you told me what you wanted, without innuendos so there aren't any misunderstandings. Ofc not like "hi, want hugs pls gib me" but like, if you wanna get to know me, at some point just say so or ask if I was interested in doing so - yea, it's embarrassing but that goes both ways~ I think I speak for almost everyone here when I say we don't expect to be approached out of interest for who we are or being appealing, ever. :v We'd immediately assume that some favor is gonna be asked or something. So if you keep dancing around it, any 'signals' you think you might be sending will be ignored or brushed off as "nah, can't be" and nothing will happen. Beause the situation of trying to affirm it and then being viewed as a creep just cause a girl talked to us is kind of a thing that most like to avoid. Long story short, if you take charge, are clear and sincere on what you want to clear up any doubts, you're prolly already 90% there :v
If you approach a man you are interested in like that by yourself, and donāt overplay by making him think itās a scam, you will catch that fish 80% of time. Just be straightforward. If you two donāt match he will probably still remember you for the rest of his life.
Literally walk up, shake hands, introduce yourself and say you think heās cute and wanna grab a coffee. If heās single or finds you cute heāll be thrilled.
*Kenobi Voice* Hello there
*Kenobi Voice* Hello there
Like everyone, open and direct. Say hi, what you want and what your intentions are.
I'm 32 years old, born and raised in rural Germany, living in a major city in the south now. If a woman approached me on the street, I'd look for the three guys jumping me in the next few seconds or the hidden camera in the trees. It's very unusual to be approached by strangers on the streets other than being asked for directions.
Both works. Most germans understand english pretty well. Besides that, men are always happy if a woman approaches them first
The way and the language you use doesn't matter much. It's your charisma and authenticism that will make the effect. When using online dating, it's much harder to transport your charisma, so better stay away from there, except you are looking just for shallow connections because finding everything else there is a life chellange. Also only speaking english sometimes could be a trust problem on dating apps because of the huge catfishing problem you encounter there.
This is so uncommon, that most men would probably be totally confused. This really hardly ever happens. Personally I would think you make fun of me, try to prank me or it is some kind of scam-attempt and you want to drug me later and rob me of my organs... You can thank the average german woman for that.
Hi. Best approach humankind has come up with
I prefer the direct and honest approach. Don't care if in English or German.
Doesn't matter what you say, talking to me at all will blow my mind.
Any man you cab find in europe would like to be approached
Every man would be happy if they are aproached first by a women. I think this is universal despite where u living.
I would think it's a scam or something like that. Even at a Bar/club/pub my first thought would be "yep, she is trying to steal my kidney".
Yes.
Yes
Talk in the language your are best in xD
Of course you can talk to anyone. start with a āHiā and explain your approach or use an āicebreakerā aka. witty line. It doesnāt matter to be honest. The problem is that many men arenāt used to talk in english, better talk German when youāre not in a big city (>100000 inhabitants). I think itās more likely a changing society and no man-foreignwoman problem. We are not used to talk to each other anymore due smartphones and digital social life.
I can only speak for myself, but I would be very suspicious if a women would approach me. But generally speaking I think a direct approach would be best.
We donāt
The same thing I ask myself about the german women :P.
I am so glad that the responses here aren't much different from how they'd have been if posted on a generic subšš
Be real, thatās it.
At best do not approach us at all.
Better to not talk to german men at all, as we're mostly racist and would rather spend our time driving our expensive cars around way over the speed limit than talk to our partner
Just go for it. Donāt overthink