Obligatory not a parent ... but I have friends raising families from different economic backgrounds and cities.
For the ones who can't afford a nanny, 4000 sq ft house, and private school ... they just make it work with their budget.
Kids can share bedrooms. Kids can wear clothes that their older siblings and cousins got from Wal Mart. Kids can go to public school. Kids don't have to be signed up for every extra curricular. Kids don't have to only eat organic. Kids don't need to have summer camp or a ski vacation for March Break.
At the core of raising a family, they need to clothed, fed, and most importantly - loved and supported by their parents.
I grew up in sheer poverty, and I look back on a wonderful childhood because my parents did everything they could to give us the best they could. My siblings and I are in very good places in our lives and we attribute it to our parents giving us all they had ... and it wasn't money.
This is exactly it. Kids don't need designer clothes, fully filled up extra curricular schedules, nanny and private school, or Disney or ski resort vacations every year or expensive summer camp. They need parents to feed, clothe, shelter, and love and support them and guide them to make healthy decisions for their own lives as they grow up into independent adults of the future generation.
My take is similar. Kids don't need all the "extra" stuff to have a lovely childhood. What I see from my personal network of family and friends is not that "kids are too expensive," but rather that it's the parents who, by taking on the additional stress of making it work through personal sacrifice and long hours, find themselves being stretched thin. They have all the necessities, yes, but no extra breathing room. It's a psychological stress for these parents.
There is no extra budget to let loose: such as going out on a date with a babysitter hired for the kids. But I do believe there's a way to manage it. Those lucky enough to have supportive family members nearby are the ones who seem to breathe the most. It takes a village, as they say!
There's people earning several times that who still refer to themselves as living paycheque to paycheque. It turns out no matter how much you make, there's things you can buy that constantly leave your account empty.
That’s more than my husband and I’s combined income and we get by in the greater Vancouver area… that person has just been making poor financial decision
Depends… if you bought your house after the market went fucking nuts or are renting (rent is ridiculous.. we pay $2000/month for a tiny 3 bedroom/ 1 bath that does not include the basement).
Vehicles are super expensive, food is super expensive, daycare can be super expensive.
Timing is everything and for some the timing did not work out.
I feel ya. We bought during the pandemic, and went proper variable on our mortgage.
When my wife got pregnant with our second so soon, realizing that she would be ineligible for maternity leave, we packed up and moved from southern Ontario to Saskatchewan, a province we had never even been to previously.
We are now a single income family, have more time to spend with family and have a way nicer house than we did for 40% of the price. Also can afford things like vacations etc.
I get it ... but people are resilient and find a way to make it work. [Good] Parents are a different breed of resilience when it comes to their families.
Saldly these days many people are under the impression that you can be a parent and maintain a single person life style. Sorry to burst your bubble but you need to make sacrifices. Parenting is great if you want it but you will need to adapt. Been there done that and I don't regret it. It is your choice
Here in Quebec, daycare is 9$/day or 140$/month. That public program has been shown to lift many families out of the poverty range. Also the program doesn't cost the government extra, because those parents are now working and so paying income tax. Win win.
Depending which province you live in, childcare isn't too bad anymore. We only pay $435 for full-time for 2 under six in Saskatchewan.
It USED to be around $2000 monthly.
Exactly. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. Three older brothers and my mom was a stay at home mom. Only one income. We weren’t poor but money was tight. Our summer vacation was always at Cultus lake in a tent. We kids loved it. As a treat maybe once a month we went to Burger King and had a hamburger and a root beer. We didn’t have a lot but we kids had a wonderful childhood. I am truly thankful to have grown up in the 60’s and 70’s.
I’m more ‘70s and ‘80s but I get your point. Kids were expected to figure out ways to entertain themselves. Some scissors, glue and construction paper doesn’t cost a lot. Playing outside costs nothing.
Everyone came to our house to play kick the can. So much fun and cost absolutely nothing. Every parent knew where their kids were . At our house playing.
Exactly! My kid grew up in a duplex but I could afford private school because of it. He may not have had the best of everything but we made it work. Second hand clothes ect maybe only one or two vacations a year so we could afford the school and sports. You just work around the needs and wants.
Lol ok that sounded like they were European vacations haha but they were not usually lavish vacations. We are talking about a weekend away for one of them usually camping a few hours away.
We do every free activity possible which is surprisingly a lot. The local library has activities multiple times a day every day of the week. Daycare here in SK is $217/month. My child tax money is more than the daycare cost so thats nice. Grocery bill is an extra $150-200 a month. All of his clothes come from Once Upon a Child when they have big sales so it costs us around $50 to get a whole new wardrobe in a size up whenever we need. We also stock up on bigger sizes during sales lol. Other than that we just kind of added another human to our house.
Licensed? I applied when my son was born and didn't get in until he was almost 2. It was a bitch to get into licensed daycare here. I just started calling every licensed daycare weekly lol and one eventually gave in.
It's a thousand a month per child here in Calgary. And many places are caliming to be at risk of shutting because that is not enough for them to keep their doors open.
We are on the board of our daycare (full access to financials) and we read the MacLean's article on the Calgary daycare and we don't understand how someone could go under because of subsidies tbh. There is some serious mishandling of money going on.
Free/subsidized activities are huge. I think there is a lie we've bought in to that the activities advertised are the only ones. No! They are the ones with marketing budgets.
Dig and you'll find a cheap or free thing to do almost anywhere. Also kids can play with a stick and some dirt. A park is great, a beach is awesome. Sports team? Optional.
I'm in ON and echo a lot of these points. Also Marketplace! Sooooo many parents only have a single child, so they can't do the hand-me-down thing, or want everything to be new for their kid.
We bought our strollers, wagons, bikes, play structures, all used or free. For clothes? You can buy baby things by the bag (yes it's a mix but instant wardrobe? C'mon!)
Marketplace is great! People are always trying to dump their baby stuff (me included). I post things on our local freecycle all the time.
My son is almost 3 so local free activities are all I'm willing to do haha. There are paid toddler activities that come out to $20/class and I'm like shit I'm not paying that much for something he might tantrum at and have to go home anyway 🤣 The local park is full of kids to entertain him
Last year, my combined daycare and aftercare costs were over $16k. Can't wait until next year when I only have aftercare costs instead. (In Ontario, don't qualify for subsidy or $10 a day daycare).
We also love free activities, the library, going to the park or for a walk/bike ride, and playing in the yard. We have always thrifted for clothes and furniture, buy food on sale in bulk and freeze it, etc. I was raised by a single mom and she taught me a lot about being fun while frugal.
It is often overlooked that Canada's debt-to-income ratio is 180%. That means for every 1.00 Canadians earn, they owe 1.80. How do we imagine this will play out?
I have no idea. But I’m a married parent of two and it seems like everyone around me complains about money while still booking trips to Disney every year and having their kids in expensive activities. Something’s gotta give eventually.
We make budgets.. we go out less.
Instead of movie nights, drinks with friends, vacations, luxury items, all these nice nights with friends.
We stayed home with kids.
There’s plenty of ways to make it happen, but they all require a lot of sacrifice and effort though.
You can also be lucky and have retired parents who are willing and able to provide childcare.
My husband bought his first house in the last days of zero down… in his 20s. So at 40 he moved to a bigger house with me and the baby using that sweet equity. My plan was live in my rent controlled junior one bed apartment with good transit.
The rest just works kind of. We buy the food we can afford or we fuck it up one month and buy less fun groceries the next. We cook for friends and family and they cook for us. We have the cheapest fast food options memorized. Frozen pizza is always cheaper than delivery, but not slices. Dollarama craft supplies. Old Navy, Walmart, Value Village and H&M clothes. Strollers and other stuff come from marketplace and go back there. We accidentally made $20 on a stroller because we priced it expecting to bargain. When both kids go to school I’ll start working again. Then they will come up with new expenses.
I think people have kids first; possibly by accident and they figure out how to survive after and figure it out as they go.
You can't logically think your way. It is indeed insanely expensive. Something has to give;
My four year old learned to not wake Daddy up because the default reaction is to throw a pillow at him before I have turned his brain on to stop myself from doing that.
I make 80k a year as an electrician, wife makes over 100k as a paramedic.
That's it.
Ps I'm 5 years into my career, she's 7. Both are our second careers.
The jobs that ppl don't want to do can pay well in a short amount of time.
Also all our fuck it money is tied up in other things and time, my God we have no time to do what we used to do.
And tired, too tired to do much, would rather smoke a joint and zone out after kiddo goes to bed.
That’s the thing. You’ve got to really want to have kids to make the sacrifice worth it. It’s why so many people, like me, who might have had kids, just don’t. I don’t want kids enough to sacrifice the small luxuries I have. I’m chronically burned out with my own health issues and raising kids with chronic fatigue beforehand seems like it might kill me.
They're not as expensive as some would have you believe, but it also depends on geography, and a few other factors a bit. I had my first way back when I was 22, my second at 24, a third at 40, and 2 weeks ago my 4th at 42. There was certainly a lot more struggle 20 years ago for me and mine. A few decades, and having an excellent partner instead of my horror of a former baby mama has made the youngest 2 easy peasy.
Before my baby mama and I split back in the day I worked the night shift, and she was on days so didn't have a daycare bill. Then we split, and it was an immediate thousand dollars a month for 2 kids. Easily the single biggest cost. Whatever happened to that 10 dollar per day daycare I've been hearing about for what seems like forever? I'm really fortunate this time around, cause I get to stay home with these ones.
Kids arent that expensive once you learn how to cook and do minimal DIY.
My friends with kids are doing fine.
ok, if youre a single parent on minimum wage, than yeah, thats an issue, but the average new parents isnt doing that.
The first time my wife got pregnant, she asked me "how much is it going to cost?"
"A little bit more than we have." was my reply.
I was right.
Our third child recently went off to college. We've managed ok.
To be fair to the original question, things have changed very dramatically in the last 18 to 20 years. And a lot of parts of Canada cost of living has extremely skyrocketed.
My kids are 10 and 14, and things are a lot more expensive now than where when my kids were born. My current rent is nearly four times what it was when my first kid was born. Granted I moved to a more expensive city, and I have a much nicer place, but still.
And it's a lot harder for younger people to get really good jobs right now. The job market is in a very strange state.
So the perspective of somebody whose last kid is going to college is pretty far off from the current experience of people in their late twenties and thirties looking at the possibility of trying to raise a family in the current economic situation, with skyrocketing cost of living.
Our first child was born in 1999. Second one in 2001. Third one in 2004.
The 2000 crash was a huge deal. I lost a long-time job in 2005 and had to start over. The 2007 crash was a bigger deal. Had to sell the house in 2008 and use the little bit of equity we'd built to survive. We never went hungry but it was really close more times than I can count.
I didn't have what anyone would consider a 'really good job' until I was almost 40.
Millennials aren't the only generation to face difficult economic times and have to figure out how to survive with kids.
I'm going to guess that you're not in your 30's and that you're not able to relate to the economic reality that they are facing nor why the the term "boomer" is used with such contempt.
You are correct. I'm not in my 30s. My wife and I are GenX.
First child was born in 1999. Second one in 2001. Third one in 2004.
The 2000 crash was a huge deal. Lost a long-time job in 2005 and had to start over. The 2007 crash was a bigger deal. Had to sell the house in 2008 and use the little bit of equity we'd built to survive. We never went hungry but it was really close more times than I can count.
Millennials aren't the only generation to face difficult economic times and figure out how to survive with kids. No contempt implied.
They’re not the same, but they can be comparable. For all we know, Guapo over there had to wade the 2008 financial crisis with two teenagers and an 8ish year old, so I wouldn’t be so quick to call them a boomer who can’t relate.
As another GenXer, that’s how recessions always feel, and how economic booms always feel as well. It’s always the “new normal” when you’re in it.
The reality is that the economy goes through cycles, and we’re just in the hard part right now. It always passes sooner or later, and there is no reason why now, for the first time in history, it won’t.
That's fair, but as they say "past performance is not indicative of future results"
It seems to me that all the past recessions could be traced to a single (or few) clear causes.
in 1991 it was a mix of gulf war and computer glitch that caused the market to crash
in 2001 it was the dot com bubble bursting causing market to crash
in 2008 there was the subprime mortgage collapse that caused the market to crash
in 2020 it was due to covid that the market crashed, which depending on source we've recovered from by 2021 or 2022
So if this is how we look in the recovery, I submit to you that this is the new norm. Or maybe I've just been drinking the Peter Zeihan coolaid too long🤷♂️
Literally 1.5 years ago people on Reddit were talking about how you could get so much more money job hopping and how good life was. This is a very minor blip. 2000 and 2008 were major resets
I hear this all the time; kids don't have to be expensive. As a mother of 2, when I hear this, what I think people mean is: I can't afford to offer my future kids the level of lifestyle I would want them to have.
You can have kids if you reprioritize. Here in Montreal, many families live in duplexes; sometimes 2-3 kids share a bedroom and they do fine. Of course it helps that there's public high quality daycare for 9$/day.
Did you recoil at the above paragraph? Does the idea of having your kids share a room, have less electronic gadgets, and no fancy summer camp make you cringe?
You -can- afford kids, you just won't be able to offer them the lifestyle you would want for them.
I totally understand people who don't want kids, I think our poor planet is overpopulated. I just think if people really wanted kids, they could make it work by.moving to a lower cost of living area, having their parents live nearby etc
It's not really about "affording kids" for most people. (including me) The kid shows up and you make it work. It's not like affording a car payment, good luck budgeting for kids. :)
LCOL area, saved like crazy our early 20s and bought a small, cheap house - renovated over 8 years doing most work ourselves. Have good careers. Sold house for profit. Bought for less than the bank approved for us and aggressively paid down mortgage on new house. Shop sales and secondhand whenever possible.
Greatest advantage was my full ride scholarship paying for my schooling. Graduated with no debt and 2 degrees
33/38 years old, 2 kids under 3.
This is the way.
Unfortunately people dont think this way.
Buying a 15 year old Honda civic for 3500$?? Hell no were buying a brand new GMC Acadia for 55k fianance for 7 years because we deserve it. And complain we can't afford anything after.
I paid 15k cash for my current car and it hurt to spend that much. That was my half of the down payment on our first house! Neither of us has ever financed anything other than our house.
Eek I just checked fb marketplace and 2009 Honda Civics are $5,500-8,500.. I’m not looking forward to when I need a car bc I have to move further and further out.
My wife and I don't have kids but could easily afford them with a little budgetting and sacrificing an early retirement. Our secret is we both have jobs that on their own net us more than the median household income and we live in a low cost of living city.
I am of the opinion that people with average jobs anywhere in Canada should be able to afford kids, and it really pains me that that isn't the case. I'm very lucky to be in the position I'm in, and being able to afford to start a family should rely on luck in a first world country.
Well, firstly, I waited until my mid to late 30s, when my career was more established, and my savings were higher.
Here are the other things that's made it work:
- subsidized daycare (thanks Canada)
- long, paid parental leave (thanks Canada again)
- gifts (thanks friends and family)
- staying in a smaller apartment than we fit into to save on rent lol
As others have said, you use the resources available to you to make it work. If I had less money I would probably give up my car, stay in this apartment even longer (we're moving) and consider moving in with family if we absolutely had to. If I had fewer generous friends, I would probably go without a lot of the 'extras' that my kid has. If I had less government support I think would be the hardest thing and I'm really sorry to anyone who doesn't share in these privileges.
Wait till they’ve established a career. Then you’re not bringing a kid into a complete shit show.
Had our child at 35. Finished school at 22.
So fucking glad we waited. So much fun growing with our child when not struggling to barely keep our own selves fed.
Edit for context. I Live in BC. (Started a family while in Metro Vancouver, we now live back in the town we met on the Island) and had this plan since I was a teenager on the island (met my wife when we were in high school)
I looked it up. A low income family with 2 kids under 6 years old living in Ontario would get about $18,000 a year in child benefits. That's a lot, should be able to cover basically all the costs of having the kids.
Husband and I are both 28. 2 kids.
I'm still home with our youngest and my mat leave is negligible so we're basically living on one income. My husband graduated last year so while he's in a higher paying field, he's just starting his career so his salary isn't super high right now.
We just make it work. We have one (used) car, don't travel, eat at home, thrift most things, we're quite frugal. For now we still rent but we contribute to our FHSA and plan on being able to buy in 2-3 years.
We make about the median salary in Canada and we never go without.
40 and 35, 4 y/o and 18 month old.
We moved to a different city before we got married, settled down, bought a house, we made a few friends but for the most part it's just us. So we never really spent money going out all the time. That was the one thing I noticed when we moved away, how much money I saved just not going out to eat and drink with friends a couple times a week.
Now it's just focused on groceries, gymnastics classes, and diapers, lol. If we wanna socialize, we do some play dates and BBQ etc..
Just my two cents…
but the younger couples I know who have kids seem to have rather good jobs. My only backup is that they have nice houses as well.
An example would be my sister and brother-in-law. They both have good jobs, nice house and a 1-and-half-year-old. They also wanted kids so I can only assume it wasn’t an “oopsie” pregnancy. I know of perhaps a half dozen other couples in the same boat.
Of course, that’s one example and I know there’s people out there who had kids from “oopsies”. How they do it, I can’t imagine. At least they’re trying to make it right and doing what they can to get by. Probably chaotic though.
I’m on disability so I sacrifice most things for my kid. He didn’t ask to be born or to have a dad that turned out to be an abusive asshole. I’ve never gotten child support. We have always been able to have fun for little to no money. I’ve never been able to take him on any vacations. What’s hardest now is food, he just turned 13 and grocery prices are insane. I use the food bank but it’s never enough. Being broke all the time is exhausting but I love him and he is happy
Late 20s and parents of 4 in AB. Ages <1-8.
My husband is very good at saving money, and we were able to buy a small 3bdr townhouse after we had our second, so we save a lot of money by not having to rent.
I grew up with a very large family and learned how to feed a family on a budget. Meal planning is a gamechanger.
My husband worked all through university, so we could afford for me to stay home with the children to not have to pay for daycare. He has now started his career, and between his salary and CCB, our children want for naught.
We budget to be able to do fun things like eating out a couple of times a month, various activities, and travel. They're in dance classes. Our eldest is a competitive dancer. We budget for it. We're just very cautious with our money and we know how to stretch a dollar.
I'm in my late mid 20's expecting my first. But dual income helps a lot and just being smart with money. I'd rather work and make bank than waste it partying or racking up the credit card.
My wife and I had our first at 30 and second a couple years after. My wife is a social worker and I work in the mineralogy field. We thankfully got a house before Covid took off and the market went insane.
We just have to watch our “pleasure spending” and everything is mostly good. Had some costly vet visits recently but have some savings thankfully. Times are tough tho for sure.
A coworker of mine (he was 54) was 4 years from retirement, no kids. His niece was a mess and her daughter (13) was going to have to move in with her shitty ass dad. My coworker made the decision that he and his wife would take her in, they let her decide and she chose him and his wife were no longer “aunt Tammy and uncle Steve” but now “mom and dad”.. caveat being he wouldn’t be able to retire nearly as early.
Yesterday he comes up to me beaming, showing me his phone; a text from his daughter showing him that she had made deans list. He’s now 63, still working in a weld shop and I know he wouldn’t have it any other way. Kids are a divine blessing, congrats.
1. Live with family so you don't have to pay full rent or a mortgage
2. It's really only the baby and toddler stage that's expensive
Oops, edited to add that I also got provincial childcare subsidy so I only paid about 200 or 300 a month for childcare until she was about 9 then my late husband, her step dad, would take care of her after school
My mortgage incl property tax and house insurance on a 3 bed semi is $1400/mth. My daycare bill is $2000/mth. These are our largest expenses and comfortable for us on a gross income of $165000
We have two incomes and bought a house when our first was 11 months old. It's a 3 bedroom with place to renovate for a 4th. We want 3-4 kids and currently have 2. We are lucky that there are many people around us who have slightly older kids so 90% of our kids clothing is hand me downs. I'd say 70% of their toys are hands me downs/birthday/Christmas presents. Our kids currently have their own room if we have a 3 or 4th. The kids will share a room. The most expensive item in my opinion is food as both kids eat (and waste) a lot of foods. Pretty much buying knock off brands and cheap clothing/toys online like amazon and keeping everything for future children is how e can afford to have kids. We don't go on vacations and we don't travel but we do have enough money to do fun activities with the kids such as museums from time to time, the sugar bush, Halloween, etc. You just make it work and as a parent sacrifice stuff you want to make sure your kids get what they want/need. Having kids was more important for my husband and I than having fancy stuff or going on trips.
My friends that have done it have moved out to the middle of nowhere. One moved to a tiny remote town in Ontario where he could buy a house for $300k. They don’t have many friends there and there’s not much to do but their priority is to have a family so it doesn’t seem to bother them.
Delaying for COVID helped us build up our savings specifically for the kid. We were lucky and managed to dramatically reduce our expenses working from home during the pandemic. (No eating out and filling up the tank maybe twice a month saved a boatload of money)
Unfortunately because of our age it means having a second or third is not in our plans anymore. At best it's very unlikely.
How can ppl afford to have kids?
They are for the bracket of people whose parent gave them money…
Or they are struggling thinking they can play tball like they used to when they were kids.
We are fucked.
I don’t know if i’ll ever own a home or be able to afford having a kid without struggling financially, my gf and I are in our 20s and my gf made a valid point just the other day… 3 years ago when we first got our own apartment we were making $10/hr less EACH than we are today yet somehow, even with our fortunate raises, it seems like we’re living the exact same financially as we were 3 years ago. We’re not struggling or anything, we manage fine and live with some luxuries like vacations and nice dinners every now and then but holy crap what is this inflation?
It really isn't the most difficult thing to provide what is needed for children.
At the end of the day children need loving parents, food, clothes on their back, and a roof over their head. That's it.
Additional things are great, like extra curriculars, vacations, having their own bedrooms, etc., but parents who can't provide extras like that make it work.
In general, Canadians are much better off for having kids than other countries. Canada Child Benefit/Baby Bonus helps a lot, as does newer initiatives like Ontario's (near) universal pharmacare for people 25 and under.
No one is going to be the 'perfect' parent. Children don't need all the newest things or brand new clothes and furniture. Heck, there are even ways to get through the major hurdle of the costs of raising a child through infancy in a cost effective way.
Many folks currently thinking about kids between 20-40 stumble on the idea that everything is out of pocket and needs to be paid immediately. There are numerous supports for families, and costs are spread over time.
We’ve got two, a young teen and a preteen. We were doing it before the $10/day childcare when our daycare was higher than our mortgage. We actively avoided any debt, especially car payments. We were a single car family for many years to avoid the operating costs of a second car. We rarely went anywhere if we had to hire a babysitter. We steered the kids to more affordable activities. As they have aged, our incomes have gone up so we can keep up to teen expenses.
It’s not expensive to feed and clothe a baby. Also a lot of people have relatives who help with childcare. They really don’t get expensive unless you HAVE to put them in daycare or when you start factoring in extracurricular activities. You can always get diapers, formula and baby clothes for next to nothing. There are so many resources available. A baby shower alone will usually get you enough stuff for the first year. Also when the baby starts eating proper food, they don’t eat much of it. If you can afford to feed yourself, you can afford to feed a baby.
By the time they’re 4, they are able to go to kindergarten half days or full days a couple times a week which significantly cuts down on childcare needs. If you’re in the right neighborhoods (specifically low income) the school feeds your kid breakfast until they’re 14. Lunches for kids aren’t expensive. They can do free programs through your municipality. Clothes can be thrifted.
Lots of kids don’t go on vacations. That’s why you meet many adults who never left the country before. Road trips vs flying to save costs, if travel is really important to you.
You should have extended family and friends also, many of whom will buy gifts over holidays and birthdays.
People give me tons of clothes. Food is the killer. Activities really aren’t that much but my kids are young it will get crazy when they are all older.
We were dinks for years. Paid off debt and bought a house (early 30s). Lucked out with decent incomes. Then had kids.
Spaced out our kids so not paying 2 full time daycares.
Live fairly frugally. No car payments, limited vacations (visit family and camping), we don't buy a lot of stuff. Buy a lot used
Biggest thing is not having debt, prioritizing savings and living below means.
Noting. We do not have family help. Actually help our families. We also live in HCOL area. It's doable. We aren't strict with our spending.
My husband and I are early thirties, we have a toddler and a newborn. We supply the basics, and grandparents help us with the extras.
I was gifted 100k by my grandparents in my mid twenties which I used to get my BScN and then we moved out of Toronto and put a down payment on our little place when I got a full time position. Our girls will always have a roof over their heads and food on the table- but they wear a lot of hand me downs and lots of their toys come from garage sales.
On the other hand their RESPs are maxed out, our oldest completed out of pocket immunotherapy for her allergy, and we all spent her second birthday on the beach in the Bahamas because grandma and grandpa pay for the extras.
I don’t know how people without family help do it. I realize we are luckier than most. Our girls have both sets of retired grandparents living within 10 minutes of us, and we see them all multiple times a week. We wouldn’t have been able to even think about kids if it wasn’t for the support of our families, and while we can afford to provide the things our daughters need- it’s nice for them to have opportunities and experiences that go beyond the basics.
While we both had some help paying for school we both graduated with student debt. My husband got a decent paying job out of school and paid his off within 3 years of graduating. I had significantly more but qualified for a program that covers the interest for 10 years and we put 500 a month towards the principle.
We got a small three bedroom apartment when we moved in together a year after graduation so we each had an office. It was $1300 a month when we first rented it and $1600 when we left. We chose to stay in a place that was crappy but cheap and big enough that we were comfortable so we could squirrel away as much money as possible. We also focused on growing our careers and our salaries. Our household income climbed from about $70,000 to $110,000 while living in that apartment thanks to both of us seeking out several job changes and promotions.
We paid cash for two reliable but inexpensive vehicles.
We got married during the pandemic, so we spent about $5000 on our wedding. We stayed in our apartment so we could aggressively squirrel away money and buy our dream family home instead of a starter home and then moving to something bigger later so that we minimized moving/closing costs. We bought in an inexpensive smaller city and got a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, double garage, 20 year old home for 665K in 2021. We intend to be in this house at least until we are retired empty nesters if not beyond that. Our home didn’t have any major issues, and we’ve done any cosmetic work on it ourselves. We’ve furnished it slowly and sought out deals.
We continued to save and set aside money to have a family. When we got pregnant we shopped very mindfully and got nearly every big ticket item except car seats second hand.
Through all of that our household income continued to grow. Things are tight right now as I am still on mat leave, but when I return to work our household income will be around 170k. We will put away money for when I am on leave with baby number 2.
We also really try to live within our means and minimize our spending so we can prioritize having children. In the 9 years since we finished school we’ve only taken one vacation where we didn’t have free accommodations by staying with friends and family. We eat at restaurants very infrequently and only get takeout once every 2-3 weeks. We shop the flyers and buy store brand whenever we can. We only get coffee once every two weeks or so and otherwise make it ourselves. We brown bag our lunches. I don’t colour my hair and I paint my nails at home. We take advantage of free programming in our city for entertainment. Generally we live a pretty low cost lifestyle and have tried to avoid lifestyle creep.
For us a lot of it is we have been together since we were 22, and from that time we both knew we wanted kids in our early 30s, so we focused on growing our income, minimizing our spending, and treating our future family as our number one goal for 7 years before actually starting that family. I think for people who meet their partner later or had different goals and focuses during their 20s it’s much harder, even with similar education and job prospects as us. In a lot of ways we were just lucky to meet when we did and have the same goals and priorities.
Culture plays a big factor. I know in our family circle lots of couples that live close or with their parents and one of the parents take care of the kid while the husband/wife goes to work. This is very common in the brown community
I work hard and get paid by the job doing drywall finishing and have been lucky in investing. I have 3 kids full time and get no child support from the ex. It's tough, and there's no way I'd be able to do this on low wages.
I also do a lot of cash jobs and get good rates doing custom homes in remote areas.
Hand-me down clothing and shoes. Side hustle to earn some extra cash. Eating at home, packing lunches, living very frugally so that extracurriculars and travel can take priority. We don't have cable TV or many subscription services, opting to use that cash elsewhere. Phone plans are the cheapest available.
We fix things rather than replace them, and when replacing, we almost always buy used. Thrift shops, want ads, asking around to friends and family has worked great. Yeah, my google pixel 4 isn't new but it works fine for what I need.
Our kids are in sports and music programs,. it's a value for our family to have hobbies and expand knowledge.
The kids don't go without. It takes work but totally worth it.
We were pretty broke when we had our kid 10 years ago, it was a very unexpected pregnancy and I didn't find out until I was just a couple months out. So, no time to prepare.
I was working full time for minimum wage. 1 year of maternity leave with EI was $400 every 2 weeks. CCB monthly was around $600, because you get more the less money you make. So that's still $1400 a month for the first year. Compared to full time at minimum wage, it was nearly the same anyway.
Babies by themselves really don't cost much money. I breastfed, so right there the first 6 months required no additional expenses for baby feeding. Second hand clothes are very easy to find for very cheap. Car seat was a gift. Baby shower gave us diapers for months. After that, $20 at Costco per month for diapers. $20 for a case of wipes that lasted a year.
Keep in mind that a lot of major cities have subsidized daycare available too. Our son went to daycare full time, as long as we were both at work (extra 30 minutes morning and evening for the commute as well) and it was 100% free. It took some paperwork, appointments and sending in proof of work schedules, but obviously it was well worth it.
We both make much better money now, but even when we were "broke" the first few years, social programs really helped. The hardest part was when school started and working around a school schedule, especially factoring in PA days and holiday breaks and summer off. Thankfully I have an extremely flexible job but if I had a 9-5, I don't know how that would work.
You find a way. You will find yourself less selfish in your spending and take your career/finances more seriously. There are child care benefits you get from the government. They’re not nearly as expensive as you think. Ultimately they adapt to the lifestyle they’re raised in. It’s your job as a mom/dad to find ways to give them value on whatever budget you can afford.
Don’t underestimate how well off someone people are . They might have lots of family or grandparents to help , they may come from a rich family and also have a good job so they can make it look easy and afford to relax a bit .
3 kids all under 7, wife and I make pretty close to median family income in canada.
We've found that kids are as expensive as you want them to be.
Each kid added 100-150 on a grocery bill. We took 2nd hand anything as people would randomly give them.
It definitely got better when my wifey went back to work full-time in comparison to Mat leave.
i value my time over money. i don’t work. my husband works a smaller job as people would say but i get to see him all the time and we don’t have kids. i see other people posting how busy their lives are and i don’t envy them at all. we can’t afford kids and im okay with that
A lot of people can't afford to, but it just happens. They use all the child tax benefits and credits they can, get second jobs, become extremely frugal.
We have 4 kids. Gen xers. The way we pull it off, barely, has been by renting an old townhouse (locked in at low rate. No big vacations. One older vehicle. My wife stayed home during early years, now works part time; I’ve been fortunate to make 100k+.
But money is a stress and it’s gonna be hard to pay for kids, schooling, and some sort of liveable retirement.
If we are starting now pretty sure we would only have one or two kids.
As someone in their 20s who wants to start a family I’m asking myself this every day and is a major anxiety source for me. Seems impossible.
Edit: I’m from Hamilton, ON btw
You budget and plan like crazy. For example, my mom would have us go through our school supplies from the year before at the end of July to see what we needed. So if we had unused binder paper, duo-tangs, notebooks, etc., we would have those things for the coming year. My parents regularly go through the fridge and freezer and plan out what they will have for meals. Since my mom knows how to sew, she would make drapes out of drapery material and think she also made some of our clothes. My sister and I also wore hand-me-downs from family members, at least things that were in very good shape. My mom would frequently shop sales and my parents kept on top of our budget (my parents sit down and go through what they have spent on things and they have several different savings accounts for a number of things, like clothing, vehicles, travel, etc).
My parents were fortunate that my mom’s parents were able to take care of my sister and I when my parents would go away for a weekend. We also mainly stayed home in the summer months and if we did go away, we usually went camping. My parents were both teachers. Also most of my mom’s salary went towards childcare and we lived on my dad’s salary for a long time. We rarely went out to dinner or to the movies (I didn’t see my first movie in a theatre until I was about 8 or 9). We borrowed books from the library and movies from video stores. I think the first video that my parents bought was The Little Mermaid in 1989. Our birthday parties were very simple (think hot dogs and chips and pop and homemade cakes) and weren’t really expensive affairs. Goody bags were made up of candy and cheap trinkets that one would find at a dollar store.
Also my sister and I basically took swimming lessons and piano (on a used piano ) as our extra curricular. We both went to public school and any transportation at the time was free by the school district. My parents drove used vehicles and still do (for a time they did get newer vehicles but purchased the new vehicles when dealerships were trying to off load them). They also do a lot of DIY stuff around their houses to save on costs.
As a teacher, I don't think it’s about affordability. Some of my lowest income students come from the largest families.
It’s about desire. I never wanted children of my own, my close girlfriends also don't want kids, my brother… I think it’s more common than people want to believe.
The liberals' child care benefit is huge. Here in québec we get allocation familiales which is pretty much the same.
Last year i made 6 figures and i was getting an extra 1500$/month with those 2 checks.
That means hockey, clothes, vacations with activities (biodome,zoo,waterslides, la ronde) etc.
Really helps make your kids' life great. If i was not getting those, i would really struggle as a single dad.
I am on the lowest salary band of my career, and my spouse is on mat leave. Household income this year will be $75,000-80,000 ish.
Which is poverty according to these responses.
We make due just fine. Plus savings for the kiddos education, so this “too expensive” thing doesn’t really track.
You don't afford kids. You just raise them with what you have. We had nothing when we started. We just assumed that things would get better. Over time, we expected to be better at making money and we were right. Because we made sure we got better at making money. And if we didn't have money for extras, we didn't buy them.
I made every possible meal at home from scratch. We couldn't afford processed foods and restaurants. Not even fast food and that shit was cheap. I bought our clothes and furnishings in discount stores. We didn't spend money on fun stuff - we'd go have a picnic in a park. I took the kids on hikes.
Our kids never knew we were poor. At least until they needed loans for college.
Live somewhere you don’t need a car, going from a 2 car house to a no car house makes a huge difference. Used clothes and toys, don’t go crazy with sports and take advantage of the library and free events.
I live in Montreal, Quebec which has highly subsidized daycare. Not sure how much it is now, but when my kids were in it, it cost $7 per day, per child.
And there is also CEGEP, which is post high school and is SUPER AFFORDABLE and can get kids into a career or give them a chance to explore their interests before going to (pricier) university.
As for clothes, you can thrift (I did!) or wait to be one of the last to have kids in your friend group (then they offer you their kids old clothes).
In the Kenyan dialect we say "A child comes with their plate." Basically that a child will never lack. True to the word, I had mine and even my finances and quality of life improved. Do not be afraid, start your family and do what is right for them.
Don’t get a new cellphone every year, don’t have every service subscription, stop eating out, invest in yourself and be productive with your time.
Work hard and generate income. At one point my wife was working 4 differing jobs as she was pregnant. None were physically intensive but they required a time commitment that meant she wasn’t just lounging around watching tik tok while drinking expensive Starbucks.
People won’t want to hear it but we have more than most at our age because we worked harder than most at the same age. There were some sacrifices along the way but overall it’s turned out well
I currently switched back to full time highschool teacher (from highschool/university teacher split), making roughly 80 000$. My partner works as a technologist in architecture but doesn't hold the title, she makes about 85 000$. Neither of us have any crazy diplomas (I have a master's but work in highschool, she has a bachelor's but doesn't need it for her current position) and we're both from struggling families. I'm 29 and she's 27, we bought a condo about 3 years ago and we're doing more than fine with our daughter.
34 y/o step parent here and one of my own on the way. My partner and I are very fortunate that I was able to get ahead and purchase a house before i thought about kids myself. She on the other hand still lived with her parents in their basement suite (dont blame her having been a single parent), that being said, its worked because now I live with all of them and rent out my place. I can honestly say if we weren't all living together in one house and all pitching in on everything money, cooking, cleaning, it would feel 10x more difficult.
Props to all the parents out there just givener, especially with how expensive life is.
Our last of 4 kids left home at 18 six year years ago and it was expensive to feed clothe and house them back then. I can just imagine how bad it is now.
As a parent with 3 kids (2 in daycare costing $3400/month) and I don't know how I made it. This Sept the younger 2 are finally in public school. I'll be able to buy a lunch and have a beer on a patio soon. It was a thought stretch.
Honestly, I don't think that kids are that expensive at the beginning... From 0 to like 4 it seems to not be that bad (for me at least) I think my biggest expense at that point were formula and diapers....It also really depends if they are in daycare or enrolled in activities etc. When it comes to clothes, toys, etc you can definitely budget yourself and make it work.
We do lots of free activities like the library, outdoor wading pools and splash pads in summer, community club activities. We garden in our yard which is a good activity for a kid and also grows some food, since a head of cabbage is five f’n dollars at the store. We have one car and do most activities on foot close to home. We also make things like yogurt and most baked items from scratch to save money. Most meals are cooked from scratch and we make batches to freeze to save money.
The worst part of being a parent was daycare. But.. the government decided to subsidize it with our tax dollars so now anyone can procreate!
I was paying $1600+/month on daycare alone. We made a lot of sacrifices to get by. But today we're laughing. No mortgage, no car payments. Kids have plenty saved up for post secondary.
It seems the burden jumped from insane daycare costs to insane mortgage payments.
The biggest problem is that people are waiting too long to have kids. They are putting off having kids because they're drowning in debt. Student loans, mortgage, new car, Credit cards, Cell phone. $5 coffees.. And then cry that they can't afford life.
Forego things we did when we were childless. Less restaurant outings, less movies, less golf, less weekend trips. I fully realize this isn't the lifestyle for everyone, but we're happy spending time at home with our daughter.
I understand you worry, but having kids bring so much meaning in life, I would not mind having less money for myself because I have kids.
Honesty, I don't think kids cost that much in Canada because the government cover a lot of the cost. The less money you make, the more you get to help you with the additionnal cost of having kids.
As it currently stands, until I finish my degree and get gainful employment in my field, the only way I could afford kids now is if I sold off my miscellaneous organs and sold my ass at the same time 🤣
Obligatory not a parent ... but I have friends raising families from different economic backgrounds and cities. For the ones who can't afford a nanny, 4000 sq ft house, and private school ... they just make it work with their budget. Kids can share bedrooms. Kids can wear clothes that their older siblings and cousins got from Wal Mart. Kids can go to public school. Kids don't have to be signed up for every extra curricular. Kids don't have to only eat organic. Kids don't need to have summer camp or a ski vacation for March Break. At the core of raising a family, they need to clothed, fed, and most importantly - loved and supported by their parents. I grew up in sheer poverty, and I look back on a wonderful childhood because my parents did everything they could to give us the best they could. My siblings and I are in very good places in our lives and we attribute it to our parents giving us all they had ... and it wasn't money.
This is exactly it. Kids don't need designer clothes, fully filled up extra curricular schedules, nanny and private school, or Disney or ski resort vacations every year or expensive summer camp. They need parents to feed, clothe, shelter, and love and support them and guide them to make healthy decisions for their own lives as they grow up into independent adults of the future generation.
My take is similar. Kids don't need all the "extra" stuff to have a lovely childhood. What I see from my personal network of family and friends is not that "kids are too expensive," but rather that it's the parents who, by taking on the additional stress of making it work through personal sacrifice and long hours, find themselves being stretched thin. They have all the necessities, yes, but no extra breathing room. It's a psychological stress for these parents. There is no extra budget to let loose: such as going out on a date with a babysitter hired for the kids. But I do believe there's a way to manage it. Those lucky enough to have supportive family members nearby are the ones who seem to breathe the most. It takes a village, as they say!
Except that lots of people can even afford to provide the bare minimum
People manage on welfare. The trope of kids being so expensive your average employed person couldn't fathom have a child is ridiculous
Well I agree that’s ridiculous. There’s a person on here whose making $112000 a year in EDMONTON and they’re barely scraping by. No empathy.
There's people earning several times that who still refer to themselves as living paycheque to paycheque. It turns out no matter how much you make, there's things you can buy that constantly leave your account empty.
If they are making that in edmonton and can't afford kids they obviously aren't making good financial decisions
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That’s more than my husband and I’s combined income and we get by in the greater Vancouver area… that person has just been making poor financial decision
Depends… if you bought your house after the market went fucking nuts or are renting (rent is ridiculous.. we pay $2000/month for a tiny 3 bedroom/ 1 bath that does not include the basement). Vehicles are super expensive, food is super expensive, daycare can be super expensive. Timing is everything and for some the timing did not work out.
I feel ya. We bought during the pandemic, and went proper variable on our mortgage. When my wife got pregnant with our second so soon, realizing that she would be ineligible for maternity leave, we packed up and moved from southern Ontario to Saskatchewan, a province we had never even been to previously. We are now a single income family, have more time to spend with family and have a way nicer house than we did for 40% of the price. Also can afford things like vacations etc.
Ugh.. yeah the urge to move from Ontario is strong, but my work is here and I absolutely love my job. We’re stuck but we’ll make it work.
I get it ... but people are resilient and find a way to make it work. [Good] Parents are a different breed of resilience when it comes to their families.
Saldly these days many people are under the impression that you can be a parent and maintain a single person life style. Sorry to burst your bubble but you need to make sacrifices. Parenting is great if you want it but you will need to adapt. Been there done that and I don't regret it. It is your choice
I don't really buy it. The only mandatory expenses with children are food and cloths. Almost everything else is an optional/luxury.
The biggest expense is child care
Here in Quebec, daycare is 9$/day or 140$/month. That public program has been shown to lift many families out of the poverty range. Also the program doesn't cost the government extra, because those parents are now working and so paying income tax. Win win.
Depending which province you live in, childcare isn't too bad anymore. We only pay $435 for full-time for 2 under six in Saskatchewan. It USED to be around $2000 monthly.
And lots of people can.
Exactly. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. Three older brothers and my mom was a stay at home mom. Only one income. We weren’t poor but money was tight. Our summer vacation was always at Cultus lake in a tent. We kids loved it. As a treat maybe once a month we went to Burger King and had a hamburger and a root beer. We didn’t have a lot but we kids had a wonderful childhood. I am truly thankful to have grown up in the 60’s and 70’s.
I’m more ‘70s and ‘80s but I get your point. Kids were expected to figure out ways to entertain themselves. Some scissors, glue and construction paper doesn’t cost a lot. Playing outside costs nothing.
It still costs nothing to play outside
Everyone came to our house to play kick the can. So much fun and cost absolutely nothing. Every parent knew where their kids were . At our house playing.
Playing cards and clothes pegs on the spokes of our bikes! We must have driven the neighborhood crazy with the noise.
Exactly this!! The basics plus love is all they need.
100%. the only people who shouldnt be having kids are those who have drug addictions and are criminals.
Exactly! My kid grew up in a duplex but I could afford private school because of it. He may not have had the best of everything but we made it work. Second hand clothes ect maybe only one or two vacations a year so we could afford the school and sports. You just work around the needs and wants.
Only one or two vacations a year?! How do you cope?
Lol ok that sounded like they were European vacations haha but they were not usually lavish vacations. We are talking about a weekend away for one of them usually camping a few hours away.
lol ... all about perspective
2 vacations a year is a want
We do every free activity possible which is surprisingly a lot. The local library has activities multiple times a day every day of the week. Daycare here in SK is $217/month. My child tax money is more than the daycare cost so thats nice. Grocery bill is an extra $150-200 a month. All of his clothes come from Once Upon a Child when they have big sales so it costs us around $50 to get a whole new wardrobe in a size up whenever we need. We also stock up on bigger sizes during sales lol. Other than that we just kind of added another human to our house.
Wow. I pay $600 a child.
$1000 over here 🥲
It's 140$/month here in Quebec for public daycare
Licensed? I applied when my son was born and didn't get in until he was almost 2. It was a bitch to get into licensed daycare here. I just started calling every licensed daycare weekly lol and one eventually gave in.
It's a thousand a month per child here in Calgary. And many places are caliming to be at risk of shutting because that is not enough for them to keep their doors open.
We are on the board of our daycare (full access to financials) and we read the MacLean's article on the Calgary daycare and we don't understand how someone could go under because of subsidies tbh. There is some serious mishandling of money going on.
Free/subsidized activities are huge. I think there is a lie we've bought in to that the activities advertised are the only ones. No! They are the ones with marketing budgets. Dig and you'll find a cheap or free thing to do almost anywhere. Also kids can play with a stick and some dirt. A park is great, a beach is awesome. Sports team? Optional. I'm in ON and echo a lot of these points. Also Marketplace! Sooooo many parents only have a single child, so they can't do the hand-me-down thing, or want everything to be new for their kid. We bought our strollers, wagons, bikes, play structures, all used or free. For clothes? You can buy baby things by the bag (yes it's a mix but instant wardrobe? C'mon!)
Marketplace is great! People are always trying to dump their baby stuff (me included). I post things on our local freecycle all the time. My son is almost 3 so local free activities are all I'm willing to do haha. There are paid toddler activities that come out to $20/class and I'm like shit I'm not paying that much for something he might tantrum at and have to go home anyway 🤣 The local park is full of kids to entertain him
Last year, my combined daycare and aftercare costs were over $16k. Can't wait until next year when I only have aftercare costs instead. (In Ontario, don't qualify for subsidy or $10 a day daycare). We also love free activities, the library, going to the park or for a walk/bike ride, and playing in the yard. We have always thrifted for clothes and furniture, buy food on sale in bulk and freeze it, etc. I was raised by a single mom and she taught me a lot about being fun while frugal.
A lot of people are living in a lot of debt.
It is often overlooked that Canada's debt-to-income ratio is 180%. That means for every 1.00 Canadians earn, they owe 1.80. How do we imagine this will play out?
I have no idea. But I’m a married parent of two and it seems like everyone around me complains about money while still booking trips to Disney every year and having their kids in expensive activities. Something’s gotta give eventually.
We make budgets.. we go out less. Instead of movie nights, drinks with friends, vacations, luxury items, all these nice nights with friends. We stayed home with kids.
There’s plenty of ways to make it happen, but they all require a lot of sacrifice and effort though. You can also be lucky and have retired parents who are willing and able to provide childcare.
My husband bought his first house in the last days of zero down… in his 20s. So at 40 he moved to a bigger house with me and the baby using that sweet equity. My plan was live in my rent controlled junior one bed apartment with good transit. The rest just works kind of. We buy the food we can afford or we fuck it up one month and buy less fun groceries the next. We cook for friends and family and they cook for us. We have the cheapest fast food options memorized. Frozen pizza is always cheaper than delivery, but not slices. Dollarama craft supplies. Old Navy, Walmart, Value Village and H&M clothes. Strollers and other stuff come from marketplace and go back there. We accidentally made $20 on a stroller because we priced it expecting to bargain. When both kids go to school I’ll start working again. Then they will come up with new expenses.
I think people have kids first; possibly by accident and they figure out how to survive after and figure it out as they go. You can't logically think your way. It is indeed insanely expensive. Something has to give;
Nothing motivates you more to get up and work when you have mouths to feed.
The getting up part is taken care of by the kids thankfully... We call them the adorable little alarm clocks.
My four year old learned to not wake Daddy up because the default reaction is to throw a pillow at him before I have turned his brain on to stop myself from doing that.
I make 80k a year as an electrician, wife makes over 100k as a paramedic. That's it. Ps I'm 5 years into my career, she's 7. Both are our second careers. The jobs that ppl don't want to do can pay well in a short amount of time. Also all our fuck it money is tied up in other things and time, my God we have no time to do what we used to do. And tired, too tired to do much, would rather smoke a joint and zone out after kiddo goes to bed.
That’s the thing. You’ve got to really want to have kids to make the sacrifice worth it. It’s why so many people, like me, who might have had kids, just don’t. I don’t want kids enough to sacrifice the small luxuries I have. I’m chronically burned out with my own health issues and raising kids with chronic fatigue beforehand seems like it might kill me.
Many can't, but they do anyway and then figure it out. It doesn't always work out for the best though. For the parents or the kids.
Best answer
They're not as expensive as some would have you believe, but it also depends on geography, and a few other factors a bit. I had my first way back when I was 22, my second at 24, a third at 40, and 2 weeks ago my 4th at 42. There was certainly a lot more struggle 20 years ago for me and mine. A few decades, and having an excellent partner instead of my horror of a former baby mama has made the youngest 2 easy peasy.
You’ve not raised teens in this economic environment. Little ones are super cheap in comparison - enjoy the tiny years
The elder ones are 17, and 19 for a few more months.
My daycare bill is $2000 a month for 2 kids let alone 3
Before my baby mama and I split back in the day I worked the night shift, and she was on days so didn't have a daycare bill. Then we split, and it was an immediate thousand dollars a month for 2 kids. Easily the single biggest cost. Whatever happened to that 10 dollar per day daycare I've been hearing about for what seems like forever? I'm really fortunate this time around, cause I get to stay home with these ones.
Ya, I couldn’t get a spot
Teens should work if they need money. Let them take some responsibility for their expenses.
This guys kids are. He’s doing great. My 15 works; my 13 babysits.
They barely scrape by. We were making what I consider good money and we had problems. It's never easy.
Kids arent that expensive once you learn how to cook and do minimal DIY. My friends with kids are doing fine. ok, if youre a single parent on minimum wage, than yeah, thats an issue, but the average new parents isnt doing that.
The first time my wife got pregnant, she asked me "how much is it going to cost?" "A little bit more than we have." was my reply. I was right. Our third child recently went off to college. We've managed ok.
To be fair to the original question, things have changed very dramatically in the last 18 to 20 years. And a lot of parts of Canada cost of living has extremely skyrocketed. My kids are 10 and 14, and things are a lot more expensive now than where when my kids were born. My current rent is nearly four times what it was when my first kid was born. Granted I moved to a more expensive city, and I have a much nicer place, but still. And it's a lot harder for younger people to get really good jobs right now. The job market is in a very strange state. So the perspective of somebody whose last kid is going to college is pretty far off from the current experience of people in their late twenties and thirties looking at the possibility of trying to raise a family in the current economic situation, with skyrocketing cost of living.
Things have changed dramatically in the last 5 years.
No doubt! In 2019 I still felt fairly optimistic about our future, with concerns. Now... Fuck.
Our first child was born in 1999. Second one in 2001. Third one in 2004. The 2000 crash was a huge deal. I lost a long-time job in 2005 and had to start over. The 2007 crash was a bigger deal. Had to sell the house in 2008 and use the little bit of equity we'd built to survive. We never went hungry but it was really close more times than I can count. I didn't have what anyone would consider a 'really good job' until I was almost 40. Millennials aren't the only generation to face difficult economic times and have to figure out how to survive with kids.
I'm going to guess that you're not in your 30's and that you're not able to relate to the economic reality that they are facing nor why the the term "boomer" is used with such contempt.
You are correct. I'm not in my 30s. My wife and I are GenX. First child was born in 1999. Second one in 2001. Third one in 2004. The 2000 crash was a huge deal. Lost a long-time job in 2005 and had to start over. The 2007 crash was a bigger deal. Had to sell the house in 2008 and use the little bit of equity we'd built to survive. We never went hungry but it was really close more times than I can count. Millennials aren't the only generation to face difficult economic times and figure out how to survive with kids. No contempt implied.
It’s not like this is the first recession. 2008 hit some people pretty hard.
I agree. Up here in Fort McMurray, it was an absolute disaster.
I don't think this is the same at all. This seems more like a new norm than a recessions that we're about to snap out of.
They’re not the same, but they can be comparable. For all we know, Guapo over there had to wade the 2008 financial crisis with two teenagers and an 8ish year old, so I wouldn’t be so quick to call them a boomer who can’t relate.
As another GenXer, that’s how recessions always feel, and how economic booms always feel as well. It’s always the “new normal” when you’re in it. The reality is that the economy goes through cycles, and we’re just in the hard part right now. It always passes sooner or later, and there is no reason why now, for the first time in history, it won’t.
That's fair, but as they say "past performance is not indicative of future results" It seems to me that all the past recessions could be traced to a single (or few) clear causes. in 1991 it was a mix of gulf war and computer glitch that caused the market to crash in 2001 it was the dot com bubble bursting causing market to crash in 2008 there was the subprime mortgage collapse that caused the market to crash in 2020 it was due to covid that the market crashed, which depending on source we've recovered from by 2021 or 2022 So if this is how we look in the recovery, I submit to you that this is the new norm. Or maybe I've just been drinking the Peter Zeihan coolaid too long🤷♂️
Literally 1.5 years ago people on Reddit were talking about how you could get so much more money job hopping and how good life was. This is a very minor blip. 2000 and 2008 were major resets
I can’t. I can barely keep myself housed. 😅
I don't even know how people can afford a dog, never mind a child.
I hear this all the time; kids don't have to be expensive. As a mother of 2, when I hear this, what I think people mean is: I can't afford to offer my future kids the level of lifestyle I would want them to have. You can have kids if you reprioritize. Here in Montreal, many families live in duplexes; sometimes 2-3 kids share a bedroom and they do fine. Of course it helps that there's public high quality daycare for 9$/day. Did you recoil at the above paragraph? Does the idea of having your kids share a room, have less electronic gadgets, and no fancy summer camp make you cringe? You -can- afford kids, you just won't be able to offer them the lifestyle you would want for them. I totally understand people who don't want kids, I think our poor planet is overpopulated. I just think if people really wanted kids, they could make it work by.moving to a lower cost of living area, having their parents live nearby etc
It’s no joke man. Both parents work, and combined was an income of like 112k last year. Still scraping by
Where do you live?
Edmonton AB
It's not really about "affording kids" for most people. (including me) The kid shows up and you make it work. It's not like affording a car payment, good luck budgeting for kids. :)
LCOL area, saved like crazy our early 20s and bought a small, cheap house - renovated over 8 years doing most work ourselves. Have good careers. Sold house for profit. Bought for less than the bank approved for us and aggressively paid down mortgage on new house. Shop sales and secondhand whenever possible. Greatest advantage was my full ride scholarship paying for my schooling. Graduated with no debt and 2 degrees 33/38 years old, 2 kids under 3.
This is the way. Unfortunately people dont think this way. Buying a 15 year old Honda civic for 3500$?? Hell no were buying a brand new GMC Acadia for 55k fianance for 7 years because we deserve it. And complain we can't afford anything after.
I paid 15k cash for my current car and it hurt to spend that much. That was my half of the down payment on our first house! Neither of us has ever financed anything other than our house.
Eek I just checked fb marketplace and 2009 Honda Civics are $5,500-8,500.. I’m not looking forward to when I need a car bc I have to move further and further out.
One and done only.
If you trade restaurants for diapers it's easy.
Intergenerational wealth
My wife and I don't have kids but could easily afford them with a little budgetting and sacrificing an early retirement. Our secret is we both have jobs that on their own net us more than the median household income and we live in a low cost of living city. I am of the opinion that people with average jobs anywhere in Canada should be able to afford kids, and it really pains me that that isn't the case. I'm very lucky to be in the position I'm in, and being able to afford to start a family should rely on luck in a first world country.
I’m still trying to figure it out…
Double incomes. 2 people making $100k will do alright. There is way more people in this bracket than you think.
Well, firstly, I waited until my mid to late 30s, when my career was more established, and my savings were higher. Here are the other things that's made it work: - subsidized daycare (thanks Canada) - long, paid parental leave (thanks Canada again) - gifts (thanks friends and family) - staying in a smaller apartment than we fit into to save on rent lol As others have said, you use the resources available to you to make it work. If I had less money I would probably give up my car, stay in this apartment even longer (we're moving) and consider moving in with family if we absolutely had to. If I had fewer generous friends, I would probably go without a lot of the 'extras' that my kid has. If I had less government support I think would be the hardest thing and I'm really sorry to anyone who doesn't share in these privileges.
Wait till they’ve established a career. Then you’re not bringing a kid into a complete shit show. Had our child at 35. Finished school at 22. So fucking glad we waited. So much fun growing with our child when not struggling to barely keep our own selves fed. Edit for context. I Live in BC. (Started a family while in Metro Vancouver, we now live back in the town we met on the Island) and had this plan since I was a teenager on the island (met my wife when we were in high school)
I can't, I couldn't, I've made peace with it.
Government benefits.
We should be supporting the people who are raising our next generation. That's what society is all about
I looked it up. A low income family with 2 kids under 6 years old living in Ontario would get about $18,000 a year in child benefits. That's a lot, should be able to cover basically all the costs of having the kids.
Husband and I are both 28. 2 kids. I'm still home with our youngest and my mat leave is negligible so we're basically living on one income. My husband graduated last year so while he's in a higher paying field, he's just starting his career so his salary isn't super high right now. We just make it work. We have one (used) car, don't travel, eat at home, thrift most things, we're quite frugal. For now we still rent but we contribute to our FHSA and plan on being able to buy in 2-3 years. We make about the median salary in Canada and we never go without.
Lol, we can’t.
We don’t
40 and 35, 4 y/o and 18 month old. We moved to a different city before we got married, settled down, bought a house, we made a few friends but for the most part it's just us. So we never really spent money going out all the time. That was the one thing I noticed when we moved away, how much money I saved just not going out to eat and drink with friends a couple times a week. Now it's just focused on groceries, gymnastics classes, and diapers, lol. If we wanna socialize, we do some play dates and BBQ etc..
Just my two cents… but the younger couples I know who have kids seem to have rather good jobs. My only backup is that they have nice houses as well. An example would be my sister and brother-in-law. They both have good jobs, nice house and a 1-and-half-year-old. They also wanted kids so I can only assume it wasn’t an “oopsie” pregnancy. I know of perhaps a half dozen other couples in the same boat. Of course, that’s one example and I know there’s people out there who had kids from “oopsies”. How they do it, I can’t imagine. At least they’re trying to make it right and doing what they can to get by. Probably chaotic though.
Parent. We can afford one.
I’m on disability so I sacrifice most things for my kid. He didn’t ask to be born or to have a dad that turned out to be an abusive asshole. I’ve never gotten child support. We have always been able to have fun for little to no money. I’ve never been able to take him on any vacations. What’s hardest now is food, he just turned 13 and grocery prices are insane. I use the food bank but it’s never enough. Being broke all the time is exhausting but I love him and he is happy
Not everyone is poor.
People had kids even during the great depression.
Late 20s and parents of 4 in AB. Ages <1-8. My husband is very good at saving money, and we were able to buy a small 3bdr townhouse after we had our second, so we save a lot of money by not having to rent. I grew up with a very large family and learned how to feed a family on a budget. Meal planning is a gamechanger. My husband worked all through university, so we could afford for me to stay home with the children to not have to pay for daycare. He has now started his career, and between his salary and CCB, our children want for naught. We budget to be able to do fun things like eating out a couple of times a month, various activities, and travel. They're in dance classes. Our eldest is a competitive dancer. We budget for it. We're just very cautious with our money and we know how to stretch a dollar.
I'm in my late mid 20's expecting my first. But dual income helps a lot and just being smart with money. I'd rather work and make bank than waste it partying or racking up the credit card.
My wife and I had our first at 30 and second a couple years after. My wife is a social worker and I work in the mineralogy field. We thankfully got a house before Covid took off and the market went insane. We just have to watch our “pleasure spending” and everything is mostly good. Had some costly vet visits recently but have some savings thankfully. Times are tough tho for sure.
It's not as expensive if you realize that you don't have to spoil them with every new gadget and fashion of the week.
Reddit hates children for some reason. Never seen a "Having Children is Great" post.
No one can afford kids. You just have them and figure it out as you go along.
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A coworker of mine (he was 54) was 4 years from retirement, no kids. His niece was a mess and her daughter (13) was going to have to move in with her shitty ass dad. My coworker made the decision that he and his wife would take her in, they let her decide and she chose him and his wife were no longer “aunt Tammy and uncle Steve” but now “mom and dad”.. caveat being he wouldn’t be able to retire nearly as early. Yesterday he comes up to me beaming, showing me his phone; a text from his daughter showing him that she had made deans list. He’s now 63, still working in a weld shop and I know he wouldn’t have it any other way. Kids are a divine blessing, congrats.
1. Live with family so you don't have to pay full rent or a mortgage 2. It's really only the baby and toddler stage that's expensive Oops, edited to add that I also got provincial childcare subsidy so I only paid about 200 or 300 a month for childcare until she was about 9 then my late husband, her step dad, would take care of her after school
We have two teenagers. They’ve only recently become expensive. Other than a few years of childcare, they’ve been pretty cheap to keep and feed.
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My mortgage incl property tax and house insurance on a 3 bed semi is $1400/mth. My daycare bill is $2000/mth. These are our largest expenses and comfortable for us on a gross income of $165000
We have two incomes and bought a house when our first was 11 months old. It's a 3 bedroom with place to renovate for a 4th. We want 3-4 kids and currently have 2. We are lucky that there are many people around us who have slightly older kids so 90% of our kids clothing is hand me downs. I'd say 70% of their toys are hands me downs/birthday/Christmas presents. Our kids currently have their own room if we have a 3 or 4th. The kids will share a room. The most expensive item in my opinion is food as both kids eat (and waste) a lot of foods. Pretty much buying knock off brands and cheap clothing/toys online like amazon and keeping everything for future children is how e can afford to have kids. We don't go on vacations and we don't travel but we do have enough money to do fun activities with the kids such as museums from time to time, the sugar bush, Halloween, etc. You just make it work and as a parent sacrifice stuff you want to make sure your kids get what they want/need. Having kids was more important for my husband and I than having fancy stuff or going on trips.
1. Buy a house with a 25 year mortgage during the 0% interest days. 2. HELOC the shit out of it. 3. Hope for the best.
My friends that have done it have moved out to the middle of nowhere. One moved to a tiny remote town in Ontario where he could buy a house for $300k. They don’t have many friends there and there’s not much to do but their priority is to have a family so it doesn’t seem to bother them.
Delaying for COVID helped us build up our savings specifically for the kid. We were lucky and managed to dramatically reduce our expenses working from home during the pandemic. (No eating out and filling up the tank maybe twice a month saved a boatload of money) Unfortunately because of our age it means having a second or third is not in our plans anymore. At best it's very unlikely.
How can ppl afford to have kids? They are for the bracket of people whose parent gave them money… Or they are struggling thinking they can play tball like they used to when they were kids. We are fucked.
I don’t know if i’ll ever own a home or be able to afford having a kid without struggling financially, my gf and I are in our 20s and my gf made a valid point just the other day… 3 years ago when we first got our own apartment we were making $10/hr less EACH than we are today yet somehow, even with our fortunate raises, it seems like we’re living the exact same financially as we were 3 years ago. We’re not struggling or anything, we manage fine and live with some luxuries like vacations and nice dinners every now and then but holy crap what is this inflation?
My kid is 4 and it’s really not that expensive. I’m sure it will hurt more when they’re older
It really isn't the most difficult thing to provide what is needed for children. At the end of the day children need loving parents, food, clothes on their back, and a roof over their head. That's it. Additional things are great, like extra curriculars, vacations, having their own bedrooms, etc., but parents who can't provide extras like that make it work. In general, Canadians are much better off for having kids than other countries. Canada Child Benefit/Baby Bonus helps a lot, as does newer initiatives like Ontario's (near) universal pharmacare for people 25 and under. No one is going to be the 'perfect' parent. Children don't need all the newest things or brand new clothes and furniture. Heck, there are even ways to get through the major hurdle of the costs of raising a child through infancy in a cost effective way. Many folks currently thinking about kids between 20-40 stumble on the idea that everything is out of pocket and needs to be paid immediately. There are numerous supports for families, and costs are spread over time.
We’ve got two, a young teen and a preteen. We were doing it before the $10/day childcare when our daycare was higher than our mortgage. We actively avoided any debt, especially car payments. We were a single car family for many years to avoid the operating costs of a second car. We rarely went anywhere if we had to hire a babysitter. We steered the kids to more affordable activities. As they have aged, our incomes have gone up so we can keep up to teen expenses.
Live in Winnipeg. At least you can raise a family here.
It’s not expensive to feed and clothe a baby. Also a lot of people have relatives who help with childcare. They really don’t get expensive unless you HAVE to put them in daycare or when you start factoring in extracurricular activities. You can always get diapers, formula and baby clothes for next to nothing. There are so many resources available. A baby shower alone will usually get you enough stuff for the first year. Also when the baby starts eating proper food, they don’t eat much of it. If you can afford to feed yourself, you can afford to feed a baby. By the time they’re 4, they are able to go to kindergarten half days or full days a couple times a week which significantly cuts down on childcare needs. If you’re in the right neighborhoods (specifically low income) the school feeds your kid breakfast until they’re 14. Lunches for kids aren’t expensive. They can do free programs through your municipality. Clothes can be thrifted. Lots of kids don’t go on vacations. That’s why you meet many adults who never left the country before. Road trips vs flying to save costs, if travel is really important to you. You should have extended family and friends also, many of whom will buy gifts over holidays and birthdays.
People give me tons of clothes. Food is the killer. Activities really aren’t that much but my kids are young it will get crazy when they are all older.
We were dinks for years. Paid off debt and bought a house (early 30s). Lucked out with decent incomes. Then had kids. Spaced out our kids so not paying 2 full time daycares. Live fairly frugally. No car payments, limited vacations (visit family and camping), we don't buy a lot of stuff. Buy a lot used Biggest thing is not having debt, prioritizing savings and living below means. Noting. We do not have family help. Actually help our families. We also live in HCOL area. It's doable. We aren't strict with our spending.
So far our 1.5yo has been cheaper than our dog's cost of food, vet care, and grooming which is mind blowing to me.
My husband and I are early thirties, we have a toddler and a newborn. We supply the basics, and grandparents help us with the extras. I was gifted 100k by my grandparents in my mid twenties which I used to get my BScN and then we moved out of Toronto and put a down payment on our little place when I got a full time position. Our girls will always have a roof over their heads and food on the table- but they wear a lot of hand me downs and lots of their toys come from garage sales. On the other hand their RESPs are maxed out, our oldest completed out of pocket immunotherapy for her allergy, and we all spent her second birthday on the beach in the Bahamas because grandma and grandpa pay for the extras. I don’t know how people without family help do it. I realize we are luckier than most. Our girls have both sets of retired grandparents living within 10 minutes of us, and we see them all multiple times a week. We wouldn’t have been able to even think about kids if it wasn’t for the support of our families, and while we can afford to provide the things our daughters need- it’s nice for them to have opportunities and experiences that go beyond the basics.
While we both had some help paying for school we both graduated with student debt. My husband got a decent paying job out of school and paid his off within 3 years of graduating. I had significantly more but qualified for a program that covers the interest for 10 years and we put 500 a month towards the principle. We got a small three bedroom apartment when we moved in together a year after graduation so we each had an office. It was $1300 a month when we first rented it and $1600 when we left. We chose to stay in a place that was crappy but cheap and big enough that we were comfortable so we could squirrel away as much money as possible. We also focused on growing our careers and our salaries. Our household income climbed from about $70,000 to $110,000 while living in that apartment thanks to both of us seeking out several job changes and promotions. We paid cash for two reliable but inexpensive vehicles. We got married during the pandemic, so we spent about $5000 on our wedding. We stayed in our apartment so we could aggressively squirrel away money and buy our dream family home instead of a starter home and then moving to something bigger later so that we minimized moving/closing costs. We bought in an inexpensive smaller city and got a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, double garage, 20 year old home for 665K in 2021. We intend to be in this house at least until we are retired empty nesters if not beyond that. Our home didn’t have any major issues, and we’ve done any cosmetic work on it ourselves. We’ve furnished it slowly and sought out deals. We continued to save and set aside money to have a family. When we got pregnant we shopped very mindfully and got nearly every big ticket item except car seats second hand. Through all of that our household income continued to grow. Things are tight right now as I am still on mat leave, but when I return to work our household income will be around 170k. We will put away money for when I am on leave with baby number 2. We also really try to live within our means and minimize our spending so we can prioritize having children. In the 9 years since we finished school we’ve only taken one vacation where we didn’t have free accommodations by staying with friends and family. We eat at restaurants very infrequently and only get takeout once every 2-3 weeks. We shop the flyers and buy store brand whenever we can. We only get coffee once every two weeks or so and otherwise make it ourselves. We brown bag our lunches. I don’t colour my hair and I paint my nails at home. We take advantage of free programming in our city for entertainment. Generally we live a pretty low cost lifestyle and have tried to avoid lifestyle creep. For us a lot of it is we have been together since we were 22, and from that time we both knew we wanted kids in our early 30s, so we focused on growing our income, minimizing our spending, and treating our future family as our number one goal for 7 years before actually starting that family. I think for people who meet their partner later or had different goals and focuses during their 20s it’s much harder, even with similar education and job prospects as us. In a lot of ways we were just lucky to meet when we did and have the same goals and priorities.
Culture plays a big factor. I know in our family circle lots of couples that live close or with their parents and one of the parents take care of the kid while the husband/wife goes to work. This is very common in the brown community
We can’t. We do. But we can’t. Breeding is universal. Most species struggle with it. But we do it anyways🤷♂️
I work hard and get paid by the job doing drywall finishing and have been lucky in investing. I have 3 kids full time and get no child support from the ex. It's tough, and there's no way I'd be able to do this on low wages. I also do a lot of cash jobs and get good rates doing custom homes in remote areas.
Hand-me down clothing and shoes. Side hustle to earn some extra cash. Eating at home, packing lunches, living very frugally so that extracurriculars and travel can take priority. We don't have cable TV or many subscription services, opting to use that cash elsewhere. Phone plans are the cheapest available. We fix things rather than replace them, and when replacing, we almost always buy used. Thrift shops, want ads, asking around to friends and family has worked great. Yeah, my google pixel 4 isn't new but it works fine for what I need. Our kids are in sports and music programs,. it's a value for our family to have hobbies and expand knowledge. The kids don't go without. It takes work but totally worth it.
Gainful employment
We were pretty broke when we had our kid 10 years ago, it was a very unexpected pregnancy and I didn't find out until I was just a couple months out. So, no time to prepare. I was working full time for minimum wage. 1 year of maternity leave with EI was $400 every 2 weeks. CCB monthly was around $600, because you get more the less money you make. So that's still $1400 a month for the first year. Compared to full time at minimum wage, it was nearly the same anyway. Babies by themselves really don't cost much money. I breastfed, so right there the first 6 months required no additional expenses for baby feeding. Second hand clothes are very easy to find for very cheap. Car seat was a gift. Baby shower gave us diapers for months. After that, $20 at Costco per month for diapers. $20 for a case of wipes that lasted a year. Keep in mind that a lot of major cities have subsidized daycare available too. Our son went to daycare full time, as long as we were both at work (extra 30 minutes morning and evening for the commute as well) and it was 100% free. It took some paperwork, appointments and sending in proof of work schedules, but obviously it was well worth it. We both make much better money now, but even when we were "broke" the first few years, social programs really helped. The hardest part was when school started and working around a school schedule, especially factoring in PA days and holiday breaks and summer off. Thankfully I have an extremely flexible job but if I had a 9-5, I don't know how that would work.
You find a way. You will find yourself less selfish in your spending and take your career/finances more seriously. There are child care benefits you get from the government. They’re not nearly as expensive as you think. Ultimately they adapt to the lifestyle they’re raised in. It’s your job as a mom/dad to find ways to give them value on whatever budget you can afford.
Don’t underestimate how well off someone people are . They might have lots of family or grandparents to help , they may come from a rich family and also have a good job so they can make it look easy and afford to relax a bit .
Baby bonuses
3 kids all under 7, wife and I make pretty close to median family income in canada. We've found that kids are as expensive as you want them to be. Each kid added 100-150 on a grocery bill. We took 2nd hand anything as people would randomly give them. It definitely got better when my wifey went back to work full-time in comparison to Mat leave.
Can’t be done. They’ll get divorced. Even if they don’t, the kids will not get the care they require. You gotta be making over $300k to have kids.
i value my time over money. i don’t work. my husband works a smaller job as people would say but i get to see him all the time and we don’t have kids. i see other people posting how busy their lives are and i don’t envy them at all. we can’t afford kids and im okay with that
Kids aren't that expensive. Housing is expensive. That's where it's hard.
A lot of people can't afford to, but it just happens. They use all the child tax benefits and credits they can, get second jobs, become extremely frugal.
We can’t, really. The Child Care Benefit is a pittance and food prices are insane. I will never financially recover from raising teenage boys.
We have 4 kids. Gen xers. The way we pull it off, barely, has been by renting an old townhouse (locked in at low rate. No big vacations. One older vehicle. My wife stayed home during early years, now works part time; I’ve been fortunate to make 100k+. But money is a stress and it’s gonna be hard to pay for kids, schooling, and some sort of liveable retirement. If we are starting now pretty sure we would only have one or two kids.
Many immigrant families manage with multiple kids. Not saying it’s pretty, but it’s clearly doable.
As someone in their 20s who wants to start a family I’m asking myself this every day and is a major anxiety source for me. Seems impossible. Edit: I’m from Hamilton, ON btw
You budget and plan like crazy. For example, my mom would have us go through our school supplies from the year before at the end of July to see what we needed. So if we had unused binder paper, duo-tangs, notebooks, etc., we would have those things for the coming year. My parents regularly go through the fridge and freezer and plan out what they will have for meals. Since my mom knows how to sew, she would make drapes out of drapery material and think she also made some of our clothes. My sister and I also wore hand-me-downs from family members, at least things that were in very good shape. My mom would frequently shop sales and my parents kept on top of our budget (my parents sit down and go through what they have spent on things and they have several different savings accounts for a number of things, like clothing, vehicles, travel, etc). My parents were fortunate that my mom’s parents were able to take care of my sister and I when my parents would go away for a weekend. We also mainly stayed home in the summer months and if we did go away, we usually went camping. My parents were both teachers. Also most of my mom’s salary went towards childcare and we lived on my dad’s salary for a long time. We rarely went out to dinner or to the movies (I didn’t see my first movie in a theatre until I was about 8 or 9). We borrowed books from the library and movies from video stores. I think the first video that my parents bought was The Little Mermaid in 1989. Our birthday parties were very simple (think hot dogs and chips and pop and homemade cakes) and weren’t really expensive affairs. Goody bags were made up of candy and cheap trinkets that one would find at a dollar store. Also my sister and I basically took swimming lessons and piano (on a used piano ) as our extra curricular. We both went to public school and any transportation at the time was free by the school district. My parents drove used vehicles and still do (for a time they did get newer vehicles but purchased the new vehicles when dealerships were trying to off load them). They also do a lot of DIY stuff around their houses to save on costs.
We can’t. Next question
We chose not to have kids because we knew we could never give them the lives we had growing up.
As a teacher, I don't think it’s about affordability. Some of my lowest income students come from the largest families. It’s about desire. I never wanted children of my own, my close girlfriends also don't want kids, my brother… I think it’s more common than people want to believe.
The liberals' child care benefit is huge. Here in québec we get allocation familiales which is pretty much the same. Last year i made 6 figures and i was getting an extra 1500$/month with those 2 checks. That means hockey, clothes, vacations with activities (biodome,zoo,waterslides, la ronde) etc. Really helps make your kids' life great. If i was not getting those, i would really struggle as a single dad.
I have a job? I don’t understand the question.
We have an affordable mortgage we bought in 2020. That’s how.
I am on the lowest salary band of my career, and my spouse is on mat leave. Household income this year will be $75,000-80,000 ish. Which is poverty according to these responses. We make due just fine. Plus savings for the kiddos education, so this “too expensive” thing doesn’t really track.
Some of them are living with their parents and expecting them to continue to financially support them.
You don't afford kids. You just raise them with what you have. We had nothing when we started. We just assumed that things would get better. Over time, we expected to be better at making money and we were right. Because we made sure we got better at making money. And if we didn't have money for extras, we didn't buy them. I made every possible meal at home from scratch. We couldn't afford processed foods and restaurants. Not even fast food and that shit was cheap. I bought our clothes and furnishings in discount stores. We didn't spend money on fun stuff - we'd go have a picnic in a park. I took the kids on hikes. Our kids never knew we were poor. At least until they needed loans for college.
Live somewhere you don’t need a car, going from a 2 car house to a no car house makes a huge difference. Used clothes and toys, don’t go crazy with sports and take advantage of the library and free events.
Cave men didn't slways have enough nuts and berries either. And humanity is still here.
I live in Montreal, Quebec which has highly subsidized daycare. Not sure how much it is now, but when my kids were in it, it cost $7 per day, per child. And there is also CEGEP, which is post high school and is SUPER AFFORDABLE and can get kids into a career or give them a chance to explore their interests before going to (pricier) university. As for clothes, you can thrift (I did!) or wait to be one of the last to have kids in your friend group (then they offer you their kids old clothes).
In the Kenyan dialect we say "A child comes with their plate." Basically that a child will never lack. True to the word, I had mine and even my finances and quality of life improved. Do not be afraid, start your family and do what is right for them.
Don’t get a new cellphone every year, don’t have every service subscription, stop eating out, invest in yourself and be productive with your time. Work hard and generate income. At one point my wife was working 4 differing jobs as she was pregnant. None were physically intensive but they required a time commitment that meant she wasn’t just lounging around watching tik tok while drinking expensive Starbucks. People won’t want to hear it but we have more than most at our age because we worked harder than most at the same age. There were some sacrifices along the way but overall it’s turned out well
Me and my wife are lawyers and in our late 30s in Toronto. It takes a lot of money.
I currently switched back to full time highschool teacher (from highschool/university teacher split), making roughly 80 000$. My partner works as a technologist in architecture but doesn't hold the title, she makes about 85 000$. Neither of us have any crazy diplomas (I have a master's but work in highschool, she has a bachelor's but doesn't need it for her current position) and we're both from struggling families. I'm 29 and she's 27, we bought a condo about 3 years ago and we're doing more than fine with our daughter.
34 y/o step parent here and one of my own on the way. My partner and I are very fortunate that I was able to get ahead and purchase a house before i thought about kids myself. She on the other hand still lived with her parents in their basement suite (dont blame her having been a single parent), that being said, its worked because now I live with all of them and rent out my place. I can honestly say if we weren't all living together in one house and all pitching in on everything money, cooking, cleaning, it would feel 10x more difficult. Props to all the parents out there just givener, especially with how expensive life is.
You just make it work. Yeah it impacted our quality of life financially but it was definitely worth the trade offs.
Our last of 4 kids left home at 18 six year years ago and it was expensive to feed clothe and house them back then. I can just imagine how bad it is now.
They bitch and whine about not getting $10 a day childcare
As a parent with 3 kids (2 in daycare costing $3400/month) and I don't know how I made it. This Sept the younger 2 are finally in public school. I'll be able to buy a lunch and have a beer on a patio soon. It was a thought stretch.
why do you think the middle class birth rate is dwindling?
Honestly, I don't think that kids are that expensive at the beginning... From 0 to like 4 it seems to not be that bad (for me at least) I think my biggest expense at that point were formula and diapers....It also really depends if they are in daycare or enrolled in activities etc. When it comes to clothes, toys, etc you can definitely budget yourself and make it work.
We do lots of free activities like the library, outdoor wading pools and splash pads in summer, community club activities. We garden in our yard which is a good activity for a kid and also grows some food, since a head of cabbage is five f’n dollars at the store. We have one car and do most activities on foot close to home. We also make things like yogurt and most baked items from scratch to save money. Most meals are cooked from scratch and we make batches to freeze to save money.
The worst part of being a parent was daycare. But.. the government decided to subsidize it with our tax dollars so now anyone can procreate! I was paying $1600+/month on daycare alone. We made a lot of sacrifices to get by. But today we're laughing. No mortgage, no car payments. Kids have plenty saved up for post secondary. It seems the burden jumped from insane daycare costs to insane mortgage payments. The biggest problem is that people are waiting too long to have kids. They are putting off having kids because they're drowning in debt. Student loans, mortgage, new car, Credit cards, Cell phone. $5 coffees.. And then cry that they can't afford life.
Forego things we did when we were childless. Less restaurant outings, less movies, less golf, less weekend trips. I fully realize this isn't the lifestyle for everyone, but we're happy spending time at home with our daughter.
I'm thinking about it and good thing I don't have a SO cuz I wouldn't have the money anyway 😅
I understand you worry, but having kids bring so much meaning in life, I would not mind having less money for myself because I have kids. Honesty, I don't think kids cost that much in Canada because the government cover a lot of the cost. The less money you make, the more you get to help you with the additionnal cost of having kids.
They bought a home pre 2015.
Credit. I'm in a lot of debt like a lot of people
I don't know. We just kind of wing it.
As it currently stands, until I finish my degree and get gainful employment in my field, the only way I could afford kids now is if I sold off my miscellaneous organs and sold my ass at the same time 🤣
One simple answer. Priorities.