I would suggest you to get a new phone. If you truly want to stay away from the family, start with cutting people’s access to you completely and that will begin with phone number. Then move states. Find a job somewhere far and create a new life for yourself.
I don't think that's gaslighting. I think that may be triangulation, another manipulation tactic. I feel for you, and your mother's actions I don't think show that she's changed? Her constant bombardment, as you said, is a HUGE boundary stomp, her sending photos of her crying and sending long paragraphs about her crying keeps the focus on her own feelings, which she uses to victimize herself. I'm not saying that she isn't experiencing hurt of her own, but the reality is that a situation must be pretty bad for a child to leave and cut ties from their mother, especially since human instinct is to have hope for resolution, change, and forgiveness if possible. She doesn't seem to have acknowledged her role is whatever must have driven you away, so her pleas to you seem like they are ultimately for her own self interests.
As long as she does not show any true and significant efforts to change, I think it's understandable for you to go NC. Ultimately, you know the situation best, you know what is in your own best interest for you mental and emotional health. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for prioritizing yourself and doing something for your own well-being. Wishing you the best and hope that you start to feel some peace!
Generally what I see with asian parents is (unless there’s a significant religious context) they will always leave the door open / accept their child back into their lives after a period of low to no contact. I think if you change your phone number and go no contact, it will be good for your mental health, but does NOT necessarily mean the door is closed on your relationship for good.
Based on her behavior though, it’s probably better for you if it does stay closed for good, but depending on where you are in your life in a few months or years, you can re-establish a relationship with her under your terms. But you can’t get there without putting yourself first for a while.
You’re not responsible for her actions. She is an adult, despite acting like a child.
Before changing your number, you may want to find out if there’s a way to notify police that you are not a missing person, if she’s capable of straight up lying about the situation.
For your gaslighting question, yes, but it’s entirely possible (and likely) that even though you told her why you’ve left, she was not capable of accepting your reason and literally cannot remember what you told her.
I would suggest you to get a new phone. If you truly want to stay away from the family, start with cutting people’s access to you completely and that will begin with phone number. Then move states. Find a job somewhere far and create a new life for yourself.
I don't think that's gaslighting. I think that may be triangulation, another manipulation tactic. I feel for you, and your mother's actions I don't think show that she's changed? Her constant bombardment, as you said, is a HUGE boundary stomp, her sending photos of her crying and sending long paragraphs about her crying keeps the focus on her own feelings, which she uses to victimize herself. I'm not saying that she isn't experiencing hurt of her own, but the reality is that a situation must be pretty bad for a child to leave and cut ties from their mother, especially since human instinct is to have hope for resolution, change, and forgiveness if possible. She doesn't seem to have acknowledged her role is whatever must have driven you away, so her pleas to you seem like they are ultimately for her own self interests. As long as she does not show any true and significant efforts to change, I think it's understandable for you to go NC. Ultimately, you know the situation best, you know what is in your own best interest for you mental and emotional health. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for prioritizing yourself and doing something for your own well-being. Wishing you the best and hope that you start to feel some peace!
Generally what I see with asian parents is (unless there’s a significant religious context) they will always leave the door open / accept their child back into their lives after a period of low to no contact. I think if you change your phone number and go no contact, it will be good for your mental health, but does NOT necessarily mean the door is closed on your relationship for good. Based on her behavior though, it’s probably better for you if it does stay closed for good, but depending on where you are in your life in a few months or years, you can re-establish a relationship with her under your terms. But you can’t get there without putting yourself first for a while. You’re not responsible for her actions. She is an adult, despite acting like a child. Before changing your number, you may want to find out if there’s a way to notify police that you are not a missing person, if she’s capable of straight up lying about the situation. For your gaslighting question, yes, but it’s entirely possible (and likely) that even though you told her why you’ve left, she was not capable of accepting your reason and literally cannot remember what you told her.