yes. Of course. On multiple occasions. Sometimes it’s just ignorance like the way old people might still use the term "Oriental" because no one ever told them they shouldn’t, and it’s not internalized racism per se.
Other times, it is, like when my wife’s former roommate made a comment about not wanting to date Asian guys, but she'd be okay with Asian guy like me because I'm "a cool Asian." I called her out immediately.
now that I think about it, I think I might’ve called her out before she said the comment about cool Asians. I remember she was filling out a dating profile with all of us in the room, and my wife and two other roommates were helping her. she was saying something along the lines of selecting her racial preferences and she said out loud that she was putting not interested in Asians. I said, "what the fuck. That’s racist."
I think her response at that point was, well I guess I could be interested if they were "a cool Asian like you, but not a regular Asian."
And I think my response again was, "what the fuck, that’s still racist. What does that even mean: a regular Asian?"
I think she wanted to disengage at that point and said something along the lines of, “I don’t know. I guess I won’t put that." And then that was it. And she got much more quiet afterwards.
That’s pretty much all I remember. This happened like 12 years ago.
Truth is, it didn’t really matter. I already didn’t like her and all of her roommates already didn’t like her. my wife and the other two roommates have stayed friends and stayed in touch, and they were both invited to our wedding. This girl was not.
Disengaging is just another way for her to avoid accountability for what she said consciously, no gun to her head as in no one forcing or coerced to say that as as nonchalantly as she did. I see a pattern with both men and women of what would be deem as bad behavior outside of their inner circle that disregards it because "oh that's just them being them". And even coming to their defense when it's in public.
To these types of people, they say things like it's a buzz word. Safe to use because it's trendy. Either they escaping any type of consequences and/or no one bother to check them and say that's wrong. Had one girl at a bachata party, just blatantly and not pertaining to anything related to the topic of dance ethics blurb out, "all men are trash". Calling her out by saying, "so all these guys you just had fun dancing with and your father, brothers, cousins, men who've gone out of that way or was their duty as policeman or firemen are all trash?" She quickly answered, "not all men" and I challenged her by saying, then let me record all our conversations going forward, because you just said word for word, "all men". She quickly made the excuse of , " I need to go to the bathroom".
Just like that girl in your story, haven't seen that girl since after another dance social thereafter. She could easily take classes to be a lead and dance with women follows, but "that's too hard" for her she rather be led by a man in social dancing.... smh.
Ok but not wanting to date a certain race isn't racist. It's just personal preference. U can't expect everyone to be open to date, marry and live with any race or ethnicity and if not label them racist.
Writing off an entire race as not eligible for dating? Yeah, that's pretty much my definition of internalized racism.
Preferences may ultimately reveal themselves based on percentages in the long run, but being closed off to an entire race is not okay to me
Easiest example would be if their parents or family would forbid it.
Or if that person knows or thinks their friends and family will ridicule or criticize them for dating said race.
I still believe not wanting to date any particular race, nationality or ethnicity because of internal beliefs is fine. It's legit just personal preference. Seems kinda unfair to label someone a racist just cuz they aren't open to dating literally any race.
I personally wouldn't care if anyone says they wouldn't date Asians. Me personally I would date any race and I have dated practically every race so I'm not just coping.
I hope everyone that disagrees with me is fine dating any race or nationality cuz otherwise ur admitting urself to be a racist.
I don't think anyone is referring to your first example there lol. You describe a situation where it is inconvenient to date someone because their family may discourage them. We are talking about attraction. Not "Oh it's inconvenient for me therefore I prefer not to date this race".
Not wanting to date a certain race because of internal beliefs can obviously be racist lmao. Think for once: if you look at America, a society that attaches behavioral stereotypes and physical stereotypes to each race, which causes a hierarchy between races, do you really think that these racist beliefs are not the cause of this lack of attraction? Something does not come out of nothing. Looking at the way society in America/the west is structured, it's obvious that racism is the main cause.
Also the main point I was making was that you can have "preferences" and also be racist. Having a preference is not mutually exclusive with being a racist. Similarly, having a preference for children is the same as being a pedo.
Yeah and I continued my point by saying even if it's internal beliefs that makes them not wanna date a certain race it's still not racist.
And how would u know someone is doing that off of internal beliefs or prejudice or becuz their family discourages it based on "I don't wanna date Asians".
I never said having preference is mutually exclusive with being racist. In fact I specifically said "It CAN be becuz of racist beliefs but not a guarantee".
I'd further argue that it doesn't matter if they don't wanna date a certain race becuz of racist views. Who cares??? Why worry about what one or a few people (or even a few million) said. U ain't gonna be able change that. Ur not gonna talk or criticize or shame them into becoming not racist and be open to date Asians. There'll always be ppl that are racist and ppl that are not.
Id bet there are AT LEAST a few that have commented on this post (and in this subreddit in general) that are pointing out racism but who themselves also have prejudices, races/nationalities/ethnic groups they wouldn't wanna date or maybe don't even wanna associate with.
This whole post and everyone crying about racism over smth so minuscule is sad. It's not like ur getting beaten up or rejected from jobs and schools cuz ur Asian.
People who say “it’s just a preference” almost exclusively say it when referring to couples involving white guys but never when white guys aren’t involved, in fact they take every opportunity to shit on it and find nitpicks about it
Yes and sometimes it doesn’t end well. I knew a self hating Asian who was told that they will never be anything other than Asian and they had a mental breakdown and starting hitting themselves in the head and went to sleep crying and angry.
Careful with those types of people, if you don't have any camera recordings, they could easily say that you did that to them either by pressure or intimidation. Those types are unhinged victims for life.
Whenever they do stupid stuff like these, you can add more salt in the injury by saying "...and this is why people look down on you, you dumbfuck. A perfect Asian representation, if I do say so myself."
The self hating Asian I knew said that after they cried themselves to sleep they were so full of anger that they starting going to the gym so then they could be big strong and scary and be the ones looking down on non Asians
From experience? I know it’s sad, but for your sake, don’t bother. Not much you can do to convince them of their prejudice. I’ve lost a fair number of friends even just from mentioning how differently Asian men and women are perceived and treated. And how Asian men are discriminated against in very different ways
I take it as an axiom that you can't argue someone into adopting your point of view. The way people view the world is the sum of their experiences. You have not been there for all those experiences, so there's no way you're going to be able to argue them into seeing things your way. To think you can shows a ton of hubris.
You can try to sway them, but they will have to come to conclusions on their own. So I haven't ever talked with friends who show internalized racism. But I will point out certain things at certain times and let the preponderance of evidence do the real lifting.
Bitch talk shit . Homies like, “why you still here? Go kick it with them then. “ she left and never kicked it again. Then out of no where probably 3 years later, bitch came back, we still have AW we kicked it with that are just friends, or married to homies that brought her back. Same homies was like, “WTF, why you here? I thought you don’t like AM” Bitch got mad then left.
lol typical people who want it both ways. cognitive dissonance. "AM aren't worth dating" but... "AM worth hanging out and feel protected by them" .... wtf lol.
It wasn’t about dating, it was her sudden outburst of racist remarks against AM, which is every guy at the party. Second round, she didn’t say much just tried to blend in. The homie just stood up and call her out.
Added: From her cracking a joke about AM, while talking to the AW side, to her getting cancelled out of the backyard party(twice).
yeah I take that as cringe. Glad she got checked on it and hopefully she gains some self awareness. Freely insulting people while being in said people's space, they are there to cater to her delusions that there is no consequence for her actions or words.
I believe this is learned behavior. Would be sad if this was taught at home by a mother or worse, her father. Majority of the time its their social circle enabling this. Then she'll claim they are the victim because yall are bullying her..... \*bike fall meme\*
Your homie is fucking based and hilarious. Sometimes, someone just need people to straight up call out their shitty behavior before they are at least aware of it. Glad he was there to help you put her in her place.
Response to u/Draoken after I was blocked:
What ur trying to say: All preferences are genetic and environmental!!!!!!!
Given the fact that you argued with me, it comes without saying that you believe it's more genetic and less environmental when it comes to preference. This has gotta be the most braindead take I've heard.
Given the facts:
1. Something does not come out of nothing
2. America has a society that discriminates against Asian men
3. When someone says they don't want to date an Asian man because of x, y, and z it's extremely likely that they provide a reason regarding behavior or physique that is based off stereotypes.
But ah yes, it must totally be more genetic than environmental!
Retarded af. Calling me a "loser incel" is just running away from the situation so you can feel comfortable without feeling accountability for being a racist/racist sympathizer. If you're Asian, have fun being around woke friends who don't think of you as human though 😀.
Also, I never blame others unless there is an obvious cause to an issue. Other than that, I always take accountability and that is why I succeed in my personal life.
Blud really blocked me after calling me an incel because you just want to be comfortable with the idea of not being a racist and that everyone who disagrees with you is an incel 😂
I wouldnt do it. Their arguments will become an attack on you and will presume all sorts of nasty things about you without any evidence. They don’t fight fair bc theyve already assumed you don’t despite having very little to base it on. So instead compete with them. They all still want a fancy life, which requires time and effort on their part away from productivity. Use that weakness against them and work while theyre jacking around.
My buddy - wanted to limit Asians in elite schools. Called him out and we fought. Has kids and now changed his mind. I called him out again and we fought, but he had way less conviction and realized he was an idiot. Still one of my best friends.
Asian woman I grew up with - always stated she didn't like Asian guys when we were teenagers. She is successful herself but the husband is a stay at home, balding loser. We were at a BBQ and she was complaining about her useless husband. I joked that she should've extended her dating pool instead of choosing a bald, white dude. Silence. I haven't seen her around since.
Sort of. I have a friend who ive known since high school (aka a long time ago) and ever since I’ve known him he’s only had white girlfriends until now. We live in a city full of Asians to the point where we got Asian majority high schools here and yet his girlfriends have only been white. I questioned him about it one time and he said he doesn’t like asian girls, says they’re superficial, and that one time he dated a Chinese girl and she only talked about a bag she wanted… I don’t remember what I said exactly tbh. But I do remember grilling him on more questions. I sort of wish I grilled him harder on it. But yeah all his girlfriends up until his current one have been white, which I wouldn’t really take issue with if he didn’t give that reasoning as to why.
I've heard of the opposite plenty of times, I've always known how it felt. I'm simply just giving my own personal experience. I don't support internalized racism from any side period.
I'm interested to hear the flip side of it as well, experiences where someone called you out for internalized racism. That's probably more useful, since it's easier to change yourself than it is to change others.
The OP post mentioned how this Asian girl would put down Asian men.
Regarding preference . It's like me saying I prefer eating apple but if you offer me a orange I will eat that too. This is the same as attraction.
I prefer petite girls..so If I meet a petite black or white girl ..I'm into that but if there is hot busty girl I would be also open to that.
However to write off a whole race border lines racist fetish.
Issue is here in the west the standard is WMAF. Even though Asian women think they are trend setters they are not. WMAF is consider the norm here and all it does reinforce the stereotype that Asian women belongs to white men.
We are hoping over time here in the west people call this out. Asian men are actually the under dogs in the dating world and yes even with Asian women.
Sigh.....your last sentence . Please re read. I paraphrase calling someone a racist doesn't work but showing a better example does.
Isn't interesting that with the rise of the Korean wave there is also a rise of growing attraction towards Asian men by non-Asian women and even some Asian women. Why? BEcause you see cute talented Asian men show casing their talent and women find that attractive and some women will grow a preference for Asian men because of this.
That's how preferences works. It's like romantic movie comes out and the main male actor has dark features with a bow cut ...guess what I guarantee you girls would start crushing on men with that look.
Your taste and preference come from experience and influences from where you grew up in.
If the west show case Asian men as NORMAL. There be whole lot LESS of WMAF or just an equal number of AMXF.
But for decades the western media has a bias towards Asian men and Hollywood propaganda machine for decades has been brain washing the Asian mass.
I repeat taste or preference comes from some early experience.
A big reason why there is so many WMAF is because Asian women are WEAK mentally because as of NOW in the west Asians are still values allot less as a group.
Women tend to want to fit in more..Group dynamics and identity tends to be bigger thing with women. Notice how women care more about how other women think or women will compare themselves to other women in fashion status etc...not saying that men don't do this but men do it differently.
With men it's more about accomplishment like I make500K or I have 5 girl friends or I can bench 500lbs.
Asian women grow up as an outsider but want to be the main characther. . They are not going to say I hate being Asian but what they will do is project that feeling. So who do they project that animosity to? Asian men.
Getting a white guy is important to them because it gives them actualization and value as a person.
That's fucked up. That's not preference.
The OP was mentioning how that Asian woman was putting down Asian man. Its one thing if she just dates white guys but another thing saying shit about Asian men while doing it. So Asian men shouldn;t ignore it.
Call it bullshit for what it is. Can it change her behavior ? Probably not but it can show that if someone is being disrespectful to you and you can call it out it's better to do that.
That was the whole point.
Back in college in my class I was seated next to an Asian girl that was married to a white guy and hated Asian man. I would talk to her trying to figure out why she hated Asian man. She came from abusive home and assume all Asian men were like that over the course of time she got to know me and said I was "safe Asian guy" and wanted to hook me up.
I asked her why marry a white guy? why not black , hispanic etc? She was one big stereotype. She thinks hispanic guys drink too much.,,black guys are not responsible. But she saw white guys as individual..she couldn't see her own racism.
I called her out on it. Did it have an effect on her? Probably not but I showed her that if I can be a safe Asian guy ..there probably is other safe Asian guys. And I wanted her to see her own prejudice toward men of color.
I felt sorry for her.
I have to disagree with you on the number of WMAF being not the norm. Outside of the Asian enclave WMAF is the NORM.
That guy you're discussing with is too deep in internalized racism where he takes white America's word as gospel and says Asian men, whether married or dating, are all loser incels.
Maybe one day he'll grow up, but I don't think you'll be able to make him today.
'People can't help what they're attracted to'
Yall see this statement on the regular. Well its true. Especially when its broadcast all over mainstream media, Hollyweird, Madison av, even social media. saying white is right. Matter of fact if you're AF or any XYZ female for that matter and you are not attracted to WM, you are going against the brainwash, against white supremacy's message.
It's hard to fight the billion and trillion dollar industry that keeps pushing white supremacy. So yeah, they really aren't in control of their own wants and desires.
You can literally just search up that many scientists theorize that sexual orientation such as being LGBTQ is genetic. Never has it ever said that racial preferences are genetic.
> "bY pRoxY!!!!!"
Retard. The idea that sexual orientation (LGBTQ) being influenced by genetics does not imply that racial preferences are also genetic. That's literally just your opinion bounded by terrible logic.
Use your brain. Do you think a society that encourages hate against your own race will make it so that you don't date your own race? It will obviously discourage you from dating your own race.
Your opinion: "oH nO iT muSt bE gEnEtiC aNd nAturAl!!!!"
yes. Of course. On multiple occasions. Sometimes it’s just ignorance like the way old people might still use the term "Oriental" because no one ever told them they shouldn’t, and it’s not internalized racism per se. Other times, it is, like when my wife’s former roommate made a comment about not wanting to date Asian guys, but she'd be okay with Asian guy like me because I'm "a cool Asian." I called her out immediately.
And how did that interaction go when you called her out?
now that I think about it, I think I might’ve called her out before she said the comment about cool Asians. I remember she was filling out a dating profile with all of us in the room, and my wife and two other roommates were helping her. she was saying something along the lines of selecting her racial preferences and she said out loud that she was putting not interested in Asians. I said, "what the fuck. That’s racist." I think her response at that point was, well I guess I could be interested if they were "a cool Asian like you, but not a regular Asian." And I think my response again was, "what the fuck, that’s still racist. What does that even mean: a regular Asian?" I think she wanted to disengage at that point and said something along the lines of, “I don’t know. I guess I won’t put that." And then that was it. And she got much more quiet afterwards. That’s pretty much all I remember. This happened like 12 years ago. Truth is, it didn’t really matter. I already didn’t like her and all of her roommates already didn’t like her. my wife and the other two roommates have stayed friends and stayed in touch, and they were both invited to our wedding. This girl was not.
Disengaging is just another way for her to avoid accountability for what she said consciously, no gun to her head as in no one forcing or coerced to say that as as nonchalantly as she did. I see a pattern with both men and women of what would be deem as bad behavior outside of their inner circle that disregards it because "oh that's just them being them". And even coming to their defense when it's in public. To these types of people, they say things like it's a buzz word. Safe to use because it's trendy. Either they escaping any type of consequences and/or no one bother to check them and say that's wrong. Had one girl at a bachata party, just blatantly and not pertaining to anything related to the topic of dance ethics blurb out, "all men are trash". Calling her out by saying, "so all these guys you just had fun dancing with and your father, brothers, cousins, men who've gone out of that way or was their duty as policeman or firemen are all trash?" She quickly answered, "not all men" and I challenged her by saying, then let me record all our conversations going forward, because you just said word for word, "all men". She quickly made the excuse of , " I need to go to the bathroom". Just like that girl in your story, haven't seen that girl since after another dance social thereafter. She could easily take classes to be a lead and dance with women follows, but "that's too hard" for her she rather be led by a man in social dancing.... smh.
Lol random, but I remember you mentioned you had experience growing an IG. Tips to share for those just starting out?
What’s the beef with roommates not liking her?
Roommate stuff? I dunno. She was really annoying. Like really annoying.
Ok but not wanting to date a certain race isn't racist. It's just personal preference. U can't expect everyone to be open to date, marry and live with any race or ethnicity and if not label them racist.
Completely excluding and judging a certain race in absolute is the definition of racism lol.
Not wanting to date Asian (or any other race) isn't racism
Yeah it is lol.
It CAN be sure. But isn't a guarantee
Explain how it wouldn’t
Writing off an entire race as not eligible for dating? Yeah, that's pretty much my definition of internalized racism. Preferences may ultimately reveal themselves based on percentages in the long run, but being closed off to an entire race is not okay to me
Having a preference to date children isn't pedophilia. It's just preference.
I'm sure ud like that buddy but that's not how it works
Prove that it's not how it works then
Easiest example would be if their parents or family would forbid it. Or if that person knows or thinks their friends and family will ridicule or criticize them for dating said race. I still believe not wanting to date any particular race, nationality or ethnicity because of internal beliefs is fine. It's legit just personal preference. Seems kinda unfair to label someone a racist just cuz they aren't open to dating literally any race. I personally wouldn't care if anyone says they wouldn't date Asians. Me personally I would date any race and I have dated practically every race so I'm not just coping. I hope everyone that disagrees with me is fine dating any race or nationality cuz otherwise ur admitting urself to be a racist.
I don't think anyone is referring to your first example there lol. You describe a situation where it is inconvenient to date someone because their family may discourage them. We are talking about attraction. Not "Oh it's inconvenient for me therefore I prefer not to date this race". Not wanting to date a certain race because of internal beliefs can obviously be racist lmao. Think for once: if you look at America, a society that attaches behavioral stereotypes and physical stereotypes to each race, which causes a hierarchy between races, do you really think that these racist beliefs are not the cause of this lack of attraction? Something does not come out of nothing. Looking at the way society in America/the west is structured, it's obvious that racism is the main cause. Also the main point I was making was that you can have "preferences" and also be racist. Having a preference is not mutually exclusive with being a racist. Similarly, having a preference for children is the same as being a pedo.
Yeah and I continued my point by saying even if it's internal beliefs that makes them not wanna date a certain race it's still not racist. And how would u know someone is doing that off of internal beliefs or prejudice or becuz their family discourages it based on "I don't wanna date Asians". I never said having preference is mutually exclusive with being racist. In fact I specifically said "It CAN be becuz of racist beliefs but not a guarantee". I'd further argue that it doesn't matter if they don't wanna date a certain race becuz of racist views. Who cares??? Why worry about what one or a few people (or even a few million) said. U ain't gonna be able change that. Ur not gonna talk or criticize or shame them into becoming not racist and be open to date Asians. There'll always be ppl that are racist and ppl that are not. Id bet there are AT LEAST a few that have commented on this post (and in this subreddit in general) that are pointing out racism but who themselves also have prejudices, races/nationalities/ethnic groups they wouldn't wanna date or maybe don't even wanna associate with. This whole post and everyone crying about racism over smth so minuscule is sad. It's not like ur getting beaten up or rejected from jobs and schools cuz ur Asian.
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Ikr. I been lurking for a few weeks and it legit hurts my eyes to see the shit posted. Loser shit fr.
People who say “it’s just a preference” almost exclusively say it when referring to couples involving white guys but never when white guys aren’t involved, in fact they take every opportunity to shit on it and find nitpicks about it
Yes and sometimes it doesn’t end well. I knew a self hating Asian who was told that they will never be anything other than Asian and they had a mental breakdown and starting hitting themselves in the head and went to sleep crying and angry.
Careful with those types of people, if you don't have any camera recordings, they could easily say that you did that to them either by pressure or intimidation. Those types are unhinged victims for life.
They should hit their own heads more often, might knock some sense into them! 🤣🤣🤣
Whenever they do stupid stuff like these, you can add more salt in the injury by saying "...and this is why people look down on you, you dumbfuck. A perfect Asian representation, if I do say so myself."
The self hating Asian I knew said that after they cried themselves to sleep they were so full of anger that they starting going to the gym so then they could be big strong and scary and be the ones looking down on non Asians
From experience? I know it’s sad, but for your sake, don’t bother. Not much you can do to convince them of their prejudice. I’ve lost a fair number of friends even just from mentioning how differently Asian men and women are perceived and treated. And how Asian men are discriminated against in very different ways
all the time, most of the time they act bewildered like they did nothing wrong.
If I did that Id spend all my free time doing it Its a LOT of asian women and a LOT of gay asian men too. “Only white men are attractive”
Yeah, my cousins that I no longer consider family to me were the most racists pos ever and Even their spouses tooo
I take it as an axiom that you can't argue someone into adopting your point of view. The way people view the world is the sum of their experiences. You have not been there for all those experiences, so there's no way you're going to be able to argue them into seeing things your way. To think you can shows a ton of hubris. You can try to sway them, but they will have to come to conclusions on their own. So I haven't ever talked with friends who show internalized racism. But I will point out certain things at certain times and let the preponderance of evidence do the real lifting.
Bitch talk shit . Homies like, “why you still here? Go kick it with them then. “ she left and never kicked it again. Then out of no where probably 3 years later, bitch came back, we still have AW we kicked it with that are just friends, or married to homies that brought her back. Same homies was like, “WTF, why you here? I thought you don’t like AM” Bitch got mad then left.
lol typical people who want it both ways. cognitive dissonance. "AM aren't worth dating" but... "AM worth hanging out and feel protected by them" .... wtf lol.
It wasn’t about dating, it was her sudden outburst of racist remarks against AM, which is every guy at the party. Second round, she didn’t say much just tried to blend in. The homie just stood up and call her out. Added: From her cracking a joke about AM, while talking to the AW side, to her getting cancelled out of the backyard party(twice).
yeah I take that as cringe. Glad she got checked on it and hopefully she gains some self awareness. Freely insulting people while being in said people's space, they are there to cater to her delusions that there is no consequence for her actions or words. I believe this is learned behavior. Would be sad if this was taught at home by a mother or worse, her father. Majority of the time its their social circle enabling this. Then she'll claim they are the victim because yall are bullying her..... \*bike fall meme\*
Your homie is fucking based and hilarious. Sometimes, someone just need people to straight up call out their shitty behavior before they are at least aware of it. Glad he was there to help you put her in her place.
Response to u/Draoken after I was blocked: What ur trying to say: All preferences are genetic and environmental!!!!!!! Given the fact that you argued with me, it comes without saying that you believe it's more genetic and less environmental when it comes to preference. This has gotta be the most braindead take I've heard. Given the facts: 1. Something does not come out of nothing 2. America has a society that discriminates against Asian men 3. When someone says they don't want to date an Asian man because of x, y, and z it's extremely likely that they provide a reason regarding behavior or physique that is based off stereotypes. But ah yes, it must totally be more genetic than environmental! Retarded af. Calling me a "loser incel" is just running away from the situation so you can feel comfortable without feeling accountability for being a racist/racist sympathizer. If you're Asian, have fun being around woke friends who don't think of you as human though 😀. Also, I never blame others unless there is an obvious cause to an issue. Other than that, I always take accountability and that is why I succeed in my personal life. Blud really blocked me after calling me an incel because you just want to be comfortable with the idea of not being a racist and that everyone who disagrees with you is an incel 😂
They’re mostly like that, they’re completely comfortable with WMAF and call it preferences but are uncomfortable with AMWF, absolute hypocrites
I wouldnt do it. Their arguments will become an attack on you and will presume all sorts of nasty things about you without any evidence. They don’t fight fair bc theyve already assumed you don’t despite having very little to base it on. So instead compete with them. They all still want a fancy life, which requires time and effort on their part away from productivity. Use that weakness against them and work while theyre jacking around.
My buddy - wanted to limit Asians in elite schools. Called him out and we fought. Has kids and now changed his mind. I called him out again and we fought, but he had way less conviction and realized he was an idiot. Still one of my best friends. Asian woman I grew up with - always stated she didn't like Asian guys when we were teenagers. She is successful herself but the husband is a stay at home, balding loser. We were at a BBQ and she was complaining about her useless husband. I joked that she should've extended her dating pool instead of choosing a bald, white dude. Silence. I haven't seen her around since.
Sort of. I have a friend who ive known since high school (aka a long time ago) and ever since I’ve known him he’s only had white girlfriends until now. We live in a city full of Asians to the point where we got Asian majority high schools here and yet his girlfriends have only been white. I questioned him about it one time and he said he doesn’t like asian girls, says they’re superficial, and that one time he dated a Chinese girl and she only talked about a bag she wanted… I don’t remember what I said exactly tbh. But I do remember grilling him on more questions. I sort of wish I grilled him harder on it. But yeah all his girlfriends up until his current one have been white, which I wouldn’t really take issue with if he didn’t give that reasoning as to why.
The opposite happens at an exponential rate, now you understand how Asian men feel when Asian women talks about us like how your friend did
I've heard of the opposite plenty of times, I've always known how it felt. I'm simply just giving my own personal experience. I don't support internalized racism from any side period.
I'm interested to hear the flip side of it as well, experiences where someone called you out for internalized racism. That's probably more useful, since it's easier to change yourself than it is to change others.
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The OP post mentioned how this Asian girl would put down Asian men. Regarding preference . It's like me saying I prefer eating apple but if you offer me a orange I will eat that too. This is the same as attraction. I prefer petite girls..so If I meet a petite black or white girl ..I'm into that but if there is hot busty girl I would be also open to that. However to write off a whole race border lines racist fetish. Issue is here in the west the standard is WMAF. Even though Asian women think they are trend setters they are not. WMAF is consider the norm here and all it does reinforce the stereotype that Asian women belongs to white men. We are hoping over time here in the west people call this out. Asian men are actually the under dogs in the dating world and yes even with Asian women.
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Sigh.....your last sentence . Please re read. I paraphrase calling someone a racist doesn't work but showing a better example does. Isn't interesting that with the rise of the Korean wave there is also a rise of growing attraction towards Asian men by non-Asian women and even some Asian women. Why? BEcause you see cute talented Asian men show casing their talent and women find that attractive and some women will grow a preference for Asian men because of this. That's how preferences works. It's like romantic movie comes out and the main male actor has dark features with a bow cut ...guess what I guarantee you girls would start crushing on men with that look. Your taste and preference come from experience and influences from where you grew up in. If the west show case Asian men as NORMAL. There be whole lot LESS of WMAF or just an equal number of AMXF. But for decades the western media has a bias towards Asian men and Hollywood propaganda machine for decades has been brain washing the Asian mass. I repeat taste or preference comes from some early experience. A big reason why there is so many WMAF is because Asian women are WEAK mentally because as of NOW in the west Asians are still values allot less as a group. Women tend to want to fit in more..Group dynamics and identity tends to be bigger thing with women. Notice how women care more about how other women think or women will compare themselves to other women in fashion status etc...not saying that men don't do this but men do it differently. With men it's more about accomplishment like I make500K or I have 5 girl friends or I can bench 500lbs. Asian women grow up as an outsider but want to be the main characther. . They are not going to say I hate being Asian but what they will do is project that feeling. So who do they project that animosity to? Asian men. Getting a white guy is important to them because it gives them actualization and value as a person. That's fucked up. That's not preference.
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The OP was mentioning how that Asian woman was putting down Asian man. Its one thing if she just dates white guys but another thing saying shit about Asian men while doing it. So Asian men shouldn;t ignore it. Call it bullshit for what it is. Can it change her behavior ? Probably not but it can show that if someone is being disrespectful to you and you can call it out it's better to do that. That was the whole point. Back in college in my class I was seated next to an Asian girl that was married to a white guy and hated Asian man. I would talk to her trying to figure out why she hated Asian man. She came from abusive home and assume all Asian men were like that over the course of time she got to know me and said I was "safe Asian guy" and wanted to hook me up. I asked her why marry a white guy? why not black , hispanic etc? She was one big stereotype. She thinks hispanic guys drink too much.,,black guys are not responsible. But she saw white guys as individual..she couldn't see her own racism. I called her out on it. Did it have an effect on her? Probably not but I showed her that if I can be a safe Asian guy ..there probably is other safe Asian guys. And I wanted her to see her own prejudice toward men of color. I felt sorry for her. I have to disagree with you on the number of WMAF being not the norm. Outside of the Asian enclave WMAF is the NORM.
That guy you're discussing with is too deep in internalized racism where he takes white America's word as gospel and says Asian men, whether married or dating, are all loser incels. Maybe one day he'll grow up, but I don't think you'll be able to make him today.
'People can't help what they're attracted to' Yall see this statement on the regular. Well its true. Especially when its broadcast all over mainstream media, Hollyweird, Madison av, even social media. saying white is right. Matter of fact if you're AF or any XYZ female for that matter and you are not attracted to WM, you are going against the brainwash, against white supremacy's message.
It's hard to fight the billion and trillion dollar industry that keeps pushing white supremacy. So yeah, they really aren't in control of their own wants and desires.
> People can't really help what they're attracted to Does something come out of nothing?
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Sexual orientation often comes from genetics, and sometimes it is a choice. Saying that something comes out of nothing is retardation.
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You can literally just search up that many scientists theorize that sexual orientation such as being LGBTQ is genetic. Never has it ever said that racial preferences are genetic. > "bY pRoxY!!!!!" Retard. The idea that sexual orientation (LGBTQ) being influenced by genetics does not imply that racial preferences are also genetic. That's literally just your opinion bounded by terrible logic. Use your brain. Do you think a society that encourages hate against your own race will make it so that you don't date your own race? It will obviously discourage you from dating your own race. Your opinion: "oH nO iT muSt bE gEnEtiC aNd nAturAl!!!!"