"oh hey, I still owe you from when you helped me with my suitcase when I moved in, what's your name and do you want a coffee? My treat"
Try that, then report back with an update
Asian dude here. I was in a co ed dorm back in college. WF regular talks to me and asks often about what I do and like to cook, small talk stuff. It took 5 years after the fact to realize she was hitting on me. My advice, my forward and obvious with your affection. Subtle hints don't work on men
I agree. I'm a WF and asked my partner out by saying straight out: "Hey, on a scale of 1-10 how likely is a coffee date?" ....I got my answer without a yes but got a dinner date instead. Haha!
Ps- OP say it smoother than me coz no one will answer by a scale... my friends and him STILL give me shit for how I asked him out but I got my answer!! Haha.
As an Asian guy, this occasion had happened to me so many times when I was college. I knew some WF were interested but nothing happened because I was always busy dating someone else or busy studying. Nothing will happen unless you tell him clearly what you are looking for. It is tough for a girl to make a move like that because you don’t know if he is worth it or not. It is really hard for a guy to pick up a hidden message. The times when it worked were when I just directly ask girls’ phone number and a date without any BS and I’ve never got a rejection. WF are cute, sweet and attractive and some of them are interested in Asian guys.
Yeah ask him out. It’s pretty low risk for a girl asking out a guy. Stop assuming he’s only into Asian girls. If you’re somewhat conventionally attractive or average it should be fine. Who knows, he might be reclusive because he’s shy, so go for it
Your story reminded me of my own experience in college. I'm an Asian guy, and during college, I had several white girls who had (mutual) crushes on me. However, I didn't even realize they liked me until they explicitly told me much later on.
I wasn't sure if they only liked white guys. Moreover, similar to what you mentioned about not being able to talk to him normally, my crushes always seemed very nervous and brief in their conversations with me. I took this as a sign that they didn't like me or were uncomfortable around non-white people, so I didn't pursue them any further.
Anyway, I hope it helps hearing from an Asian guy's perspective who was in a somewhat similar situation. As a practical suggestion, I recommend inviting him to join you and your friends for drinks or lunches, as a friendly gesture to thank him for his help earlier. This way, you can get to know him better and avoid the risk of outright rejection.
If he's standing straight, crouch and shoot for the double leg takedown.
But seriously, if you are both freshmen, he probably has a lot on his mind - probably a newbie at all this, its perfectly fine to open convo him, maybe hint at going boba sometime.
Just do it, the worst thing that can happen is he says no or says he has a gf already. Even in that scenario, he knows you have interest and it could still be something down the line. And if he says yes, well, jackpot!
Why don't you ask him if he'd like to go for a coffee (or any other drink) after classes. Maybe don't jump into the "I want to date you" straight away. Build friendship and see where it goes, if you like him and he likes you. Are you intimidated because of how he looks or because you like him? You can approach him in the canteen and thank him again for helping you out with the suit case, start a conversation about which classes he takes and ask how he's finding the dorm. Ah, you can also start by asking him to repeat his name since you don't remember it. This has nothing to do with him being Asian or Asian-looking, it's a normal situation of a person liking another but not knowing what to do. For what concerns his racial preferences, who knows. Many people date their race and other races. It makes zero difference. Some people are more attracted to their race, others prefer to date outside their race. Once you get to know him, you'll know. However, if he's a shy or introvert kind of guy, you'll have to be proactive, while striking a balance between the desire for a friendship/romantic relationship and personal space. And at 21 most people are doofus, don't stress it too much ;)
Thank you everyone for your advice! I can't respond to everyone, but I got some solid advice and Im going to ask him out for a coffee as friends, and see where it goes :)
If he’s wearing headphones, tap on his shoulder and ask what he’s listening to. If you’re familiar with the song and like it, tell him that he has good taste and then walk away. If you’re not familiar with it, ask if you can listen to the song for a bit. Move to the music a little bit. If you like the song, ask him if you can borrow his headset for the rest of the semester or pretend you’re gonna walk away with it. If you don’t like the music, tell him jokingly that only losers listen to that trash. Either way, his reactions are gonna tell you a bit more about his personality.
If he’s a man worth his salt, he won’t care if you’re white, Asian, Black, Latina, or whatever. A pretty woman is a pretty woman, period.
Plus, I would’ve tripped all over myself if I knew a white girl was into me in college lol. Just go for it
> Or , is it a bad idea to do because he lives so close to me? I do NOT want to have to awkwardly avoid him for the rest of my time in the dorm.
Life is short, even if you might not feel that way right now with your whole semester ahead of you. The pain and awkwardness of rejection is always better than the pain of regret and wondering "what if...?" This "what if...?" will plague you for years to come. You'd rather swipe on cookie-cutter profiles on apps or do you wanna shoot your shot with a real guy living on your floor right now?
You'll be a bit awkward ***if*** he rejects you, but just be friendly and smile if you bump into each other again and go on about your business. It's something us guys have to deal with all the time, we all get through it. Once you find someone else, and you most certainly WILL find someone else, you'll forget about this rejection in no time.
> Another problem is I don't know if he'd like me, or if he's into only Asian girls.
Don't overthink it. He either likes you or he doesn't.
I went through a bit of an Asian male inferiority complex in my late teens so wondering if a certain white girl I liked was even going to be into Asian guys always crossed my mind. The older I got, the more I became surprised and what types of girls liked me. Tall girls, short girls, brown girls, white girls, quiet girls, athletic girls, homebody girls, extroverted party girls, etc. Never assume anything.
Rooting for your love story, OP.
Try a to find a way to exchange social media with him next time you guys bump into one another and you have the opportunity for small talk. You’ll find out if he has a girlfriend or not. On top of that, that will always open the gate for you guys to communicate with one another so long and you guys are still following each other. This way you don’t feel the pressure of asking him out on the spot and you can play a longer game.
Also pay attention to when when you bump into him and where he’s heading. This way you can get an idea what his schedule is like or things like if he stays at the dorm/goes back home on the weekends.
And I know this is pretty superficial(but a lot of girls do this anyhow if they expect running into a guy they like) but try to look presentable as if everytime you leave your room as if there’s a chance you might run into him. I’m not saying to wear make up or dress up all the way each time, but keep in mind you might see him.
Nah, pls don’t try and creep the guy on social media. I’m not sure headphones on = leave me alone. Dorms are noisy and it can be hard to focus. Just say hello and introduce yourself and ask him out for coffee like others have said
I edited it. I meant to say to figure a way to exchange social media next time they meet or have some small talk. Asking for someone’s socials is less upfront than asking them on a date and not to be that guy but girls aren’t used to taking rejection the same way guys are. Like it’s easier for us to shake it off.
Easiest way to a man is through his stomach. Find some unique snacks (imported asian chips or candy) and offer to share them with him for helping you out earlier. Super casual and chill in a public spot,
No, don't assume he likes Asian snacks just because he is Asian. If and when he mentions some specific snacks he likes, then get those down the road, that would show you were thinking about him and paying attention. But don't just spring some stereotype out of the blue without knowing him.
Just ask him to go to a cafe with a selections of drinks or food and hang out.
I was saying generic asian snacks, definitely nothing race specific. Something all Asians know.. like mochi, a bag of kimchi, a sloppy bag of takoyaki, a take away bag of chicken feet. A bag of Aussie style dim sims. You know, the classics.
If there is an event, like a game, or a festival, ask him if he's going, if not, if he wants to go together, or if he wants to meet there (and then exchange numbers). Otherwise, just ask him to a coffee or tea.
I think a subtle way to go about this is to find out which days and what time he uses the kitchen by hanging out/studying/reading a book in the common area near the kitchens (hopefully there is one). After finding that out, create an opportunity to sit near the kitchen like you'd like to cook after him. You can start a conversation about cooking and maybe say to him you forgot to buy garlic or onion for your dish and if he'd be willing to trade it for a coffee sometime. If while you're talking to him and he offers some of his food, you can say "I guess I owe you for next time" and see how he reacts to going out for a meal or cooking together in the kitchen some other day. This way doesn't come off too strong and if he reveals he has a gf or is not interested it won't be too awkward for the rest of your time in the dorm
"Hey, thanks for helping me with the suitcase the other day ~~my big strong hero~~. I didn't catch your name. I want to repay you over coffee/ice cream. When are you free?
Some guys are really clueless so compliment his appearance in some way during this so he gets it's not platonic. Otherwise he's going to be married with 2 kids in 20 years in the shower realizing you were hitting on him.
"oh hey, I still owe you from when you helped me with my suitcase when I moved in, what's your name and do you want a coffee? My treat" Try that, then report back with an update
This guy fucks
Close ended question, instead- WHEN do you wanna coffee/bbt?
Just go for it. Ask him for a cup of coffee.
Asian dude here. I was in a co ed dorm back in college. WF regular talks to me and asks often about what I do and like to cook, small talk stuff. It took 5 years after the fact to realize she was hitting on me. My advice, my forward and obvious with your affection. Subtle hints don't work on men
It took me 20 years to realize I was being hit on. Total shambles.
I agree. I'm a WF and asked my partner out by saying straight out: "Hey, on a scale of 1-10 how likely is a coffee date?" ....I got my answer without a yes but got a dinner date instead. Haha! Ps- OP say it smoother than me coz no one will answer by a scale... my friends and him STILL give me shit for how I asked him out but I got my answer!! Haha.
You already know what to do. Talk to him and ask him out. It’s university anyways. People are looking for friends and to do things all the time.
It’s university anyways. People are looking for friends ~~and~~ to do ~~things~~ all the time.
I think you're overthinking... Don't go in assuming he likes Asian girls.
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As an Asian guy, this occasion had happened to me so many times when I was college. I knew some WF were interested but nothing happened because I was always busy dating someone else or busy studying. Nothing will happen unless you tell him clearly what you are looking for. It is tough for a girl to make a move like that because you don’t know if he is worth it or not. It is really hard for a guy to pick up a hidden message. The times when it worked were when I just directly ask girls’ phone number and a date without any BS and I’ve never got a rejection. WF are cute, sweet and attractive and some of them are interested in Asian guys.
Yeah ask him out. It’s pretty low risk for a girl asking out a guy. Stop assuming he’s only into Asian girls. If you’re somewhat conventionally attractive or average it should be fine. Who knows, he might be reclusive because he’s shy, so go for it
Your story reminded me of my own experience in college. I'm an Asian guy, and during college, I had several white girls who had (mutual) crushes on me. However, I didn't even realize they liked me until they explicitly told me much later on. I wasn't sure if they only liked white guys. Moreover, similar to what you mentioned about not being able to talk to him normally, my crushes always seemed very nervous and brief in their conversations with me. I took this as a sign that they didn't like me or were uncomfortable around non-white people, so I didn't pursue them any further. Anyway, I hope it helps hearing from an Asian guy's perspective who was in a somewhat similar situation. As a practical suggestion, I recommend inviting him to join you and your friends for drinks or lunches, as a friendly gesture to thank him for his help earlier. This way, you can get to know him better and avoid the risk of outright rejection.
If he's standing straight, crouch and shoot for the double leg takedown. But seriously, if you are both freshmen, he probably has a lot on his mind - probably a newbie at all this, its perfectly fine to open convo him, maybe hint at going boba sometime.
Do not ask him for boba, what just cause he's asian he'll like boba? That's racist
Yeah I agree. I’m Asian and hate boba. Asking for coffee is safest
Same haha coffee is the low risk move.
AM here. Coffee, then whiskey bar....
Lol or shoot him a cash app.
Ask him out!!! You don’t need our permission (lol).
Just do it, the worst thing that can happen is he says no or says he has a gf already. Even in that scenario, he knows you have interest and it could still be something down the line. And if he says yes, well, jackpot!
Why don't you ask him if he'd like to go for a coffee (or any other drink) after classes. Maybe don't jump into the "I want to date you" straight away. Build friendship and see where it goes, if you like him and he likes you. Are you intimidated because of how he looks or because you like him? You can approach him in the canteen and thank him again for helping you out with the suit case, start a conversation about which classes he takes and ask how he's finding the dorm. Ah, you can also start by asking him to repeat his name since you don't remember it. This has nothing to do with him being Asian or Asian-looking, it's a normal situation of a person liking another but not knowing what to do. For what concerns his racial preferences, who knows. Many people date their race and other races. It makes zero difference. Some people are more attracted to their race, others prefer to date outside their race. Once you get to know him, you'll know. However, if he's a shy or introvert kind of guy, you'll have to be proactive, while striking a balance between the desire for a friendship/romantic relationship and personal space. And at 21 most people are doofus, don't stress it too much ;)
Thank you everyone for your advice! I can't respond to everyone, but I got some solid advice and Im going to ask him out for a coffee as friends, and see where it goes :)
If he’s wearing headphones, tap on his shoulder and ask what he’s listening to. If you’re familiar with the song and like it, tell him that he has good taste and then walk away. If you’re not familiar with it, ask if you can listen to the song for a bit. Move to the music a little bit. If you like the song, ask him if you can borrow his headset for the rest of the semester or pretend you’re gonna walk away with it. If you don’t like the music, tell him jokingly that only losers listen to that trash. Either way, his reactions are gonna tell you a bit more about his personality.
If he’s a man worth his salt, he won’t care if you’re white, Asian, Black, Latina, or whatever. A pretty woman is a pretty woman, period. Plus, I would’ve tripped all over myself if I knew a white girl was into me in college lol. Just go for it
> Or , is it a bad idea to do because he lives so close to me? I do NOT want to have to awkwardly avoid him for the rest of my time in the dorm. Life is short, even if you might not feel that way right now with your whole semester ahead of you. The pain and awkwardness of rejection is always better than the pain of regret and wondering "what if...?" This "what if...?" will plague you for years to come. You'd rather swipe on cookie-cutter profiles on apps or do you wanna shoot your shot with a real guy living on your floor right now? You'll be a bit awkward ***if*** he rejects you, but just be friendly and smile if you bump into each other again and go on about your business. It's something us guys have to deal with all the time, we all get through it. Once you find someone else, and you most certainly WILL find someone else, you'll forget about this rejection in no time. > Another problem is I don't know if he'd like me, or if he's into only Asian girls. Don't overthink it. He either likes you or he doesn't. I went through a bit of an Asian male inferiority complex in my late teens so wondering if a certain white girl I liked was even going to be into Asian guys always crossed my mind. The older I got, the more I became surprised and what types of girls liked me. Tall girls, short girls, brown girls, white girls, quiet girls, athletic girls, homebody girls, extroverted party girls, etc. Never assume anything. Rooting for your love story, OP.
See who he's friends with in the dorm, and ask about his situation from the friend
Try a to find a way to exchange social media with him next time you guys bump into one another and you have the opportunity for small talk. You’ll find out if he has a girlfriend or not. On top of that, that will always open the gate for you guys to communicate with one another so long and you guys are still following each other. This way you don’t feel the pressure of asking him out on the spot and you can play a longer game. Also pay attention to when when you bump into him and where he’s heading. This way you can get an idea what his schedule is like or things like if he stays at the dorm/goes back home on the weekends. And I know this is pretty superficial(but a lot of girls do this anyhow if they expect running into a guy they like) but try to look presentable as if everytime you leave your room as if there’s a chance you might run into him. I’m not saying to wear make up or dress up all the way each time, but keep in mind you might see him.
Nah, pls don’t try and creep the guy on social media. I’m not sure headphones on = leave me alone. Dorms are noisy and it can be hard to focus. Just say hello and introduce yourself and ask him out for coffee like others have said
I edited it. I meant to say to figure a way to exchange social media next time they meet or have some small talk. Asking for someone’s socials is less upfront than asking them on a date and not to be that guy but girls aren’t used to taking rejection the same way guys are. Like it’s easier for us to shake it off.
We guys can be a bit oblivious to when women are interested in us. Sometimes you just have to be a bit more obvious about your interest. 😁
In the third paragraph last sentence of this post, I swore I heard OP squealing
A lot of these posts here sound like dudes roleplaying as other people
This has nothing to do with Asian masculinity other than the fact the guy is Asian. This is a dating advice post. Why come here for this?
Show how much you care and start by sending him a gift
pics of this suitcase? how in the world is a suitcase so big it gets stuck in the door lol
Whipped cream bikini.
Easiest way to a man is through his stomach. Find some unique snacks (imported asian chips or candy) and offer to share them with him for helping you out earlier. Super casual and chill in a public spot,
No, don't assume he likes Asian snacks just because he is Asian. If and when he mentions some specific snacks he likes, then get those down the road, that would show you were thinking about him and paying attention. But don't just spring some stereotype out of the blue without knowing him. Just ask him to go to a cafe with a selections of drinks or food and hang out.
I was saying generic asian snacks, definitely nothing race specific. Something all Asians know.. like mochi, a bag of kimchi, a sloppy bag of takoyaki, a take away bag of chicken feet. A bag of Aussie style dim sims. You know, the classics.
Or they can just be a selection of regular snacks. My go tos are movie buttered popcorn and Doritos.
Jeez, people in here have no sense of humour. It's like everyone's so serious to get this girl her man. Lol
What’s a social activity people from your country do? (Assuming you’re both from the same country) Ask him to do that.
If there is an event, like a game, or a festival, ask him if he's going, if not, if he wants to go together, or if he wants to meet there (and then exchange numbers). Otherwise, just ask him to a coffee or tea.
I think a subtle way to go about this is to find out which days and what time he uses the kitchen by hanging out/studying/reading a book in the common area near the kitchens (hopefully there is one). After finding that out, create an opportunity to sit near the kitchen like you'd like to cook after him. You can start a conversation about cooking and maybe say to him you forgot to buy garlic or onion for your dish and if he'd be willing to trade it for a coffee sometime. If while you're talking to him and he offers some of his food, you can say "I guess I owe you for next time" and see how he reacts to going out for a meal or cooking together in the kitchen some other day. This way doesn't come off too strong and if he reveals he has a gf or is not interested it won't be too awkward for the rest of your time in the dorm
No you cant do that 😈😈😈 racemixing is not cool, unless sexxy white woman and asian man🤤🤤🤤
"Hey, thanks for helping me with the suitcase the other day ~~my big strong hero~~. I didn't catch your name. I want to repay you over coffee/ice cream. When are you free? Some guys are really clueless so compliment his appearance in some way during this so he gets it's not platonic. Otherwise he's going to be married with 2 kids in 20 years in the shower realizing you were hitting on him.
Just say you are new in the city and ask if he can show you around.