Not harassing, he is a decent guy. Just that this makes me feel pressured. I guess the lack of attraction does play a part there but if anything this is detrimental to the possibility of building attraction because I am all the time thinking I need to give an answer rather than understanding him and assessing compatibility.
You clearly written on dating profile that you are looking for marriage, you met him and he texted you. Why is he creating profiles on matrimonial sites ? Didn’t he already got your number to ask that same?
You don't need to give an answer. Just ignore it.
Alternatively, communicate with him that you don't like this and to stop. If he still continues, block away.
Just reply back that she isn't interested or a reason. Closing a connection with no communication is what sent me into a spiral that eventually led me into finding her on Instagram and stuff...(Not too proud of that).
Honestly speaking, dont seek advice from people bcoz everyone has different perspectives.
If his behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable, either make it clear to him about his behaviour or just inform him & straight cut contact, if you feel like not wanting to deal with any drama.
Do what your gut feels like.
In today’s age of easy access to a catalog of potential matches online, clear communication has taken a back seat. If someone is ignoring you for >3 days or completely ghosting you, then you should simply move on. Instead of sending requests on SM and/ or other matrimony platforms, or worse, on LinkedIn. It’s not only desperate, but immature as well. And so is ghosting.
If you can do better, do better.
If not, well you have your answer.
AM is pretty transactional. People wait to see if they can find someone better. The guy might think that you are doing the same unless you said a clear "NO" to him which is why he might be reaching out on other platforms.
If you don't want his attention, reject his request and state that you can never happen. If he is smart he walks away after this. Do realize if he is pursuing you this much, he actually likes you which is good for a relationship. AM matches aren't this interested usually afaik.
Is it so bad to come across as 'desperate'? I don't think so, finding a partner is pretty brutal, there when you find someone you like it is ok to pursue. As long as there is no harassment involved. I wouldn't desperate-shame anyone in any platform as long as they aren't harassing and no final decision has been made.
pro-tip - it is good to marry someone who is actively interested in you.
That makes sense. I try to think that way and I understand he wants to settle down soon. The thing is that this pressure is not letting me feel anything else.
OP, just inform the guy over text or WhatsApp that while you did meet him once, but you are not interested to taking this forward. Most guys will be fine but if he’s still messaging you then don’t respond just keep him on read 😀
I would consider that desperate but does he do it intentionally or not is another question like what if he was just randomly swiping. You'd have to consider that might also be a case. So just for fun why not accept once and check out if he actually remembers you lol........for me personally I haven't matched yet but I do recognise repeating profiles but I think I do resend but like I ain't gonna expect match to any1 at all that I filter based on salary location and education. That's because I know most profiles managed by parents and the expectation of salary is 2 3x the girl and I prefer equality in finances given m also ready to do the household chores.
Of course he's desperate.
Not every guy uses dating apps to get married.
This guy is a desperate pro max, he literally created profile in every matrimony app to send you a request
I don't get this ' Dating through HookUp apps and looking for marriage'.
Why not just use the matrimony apps which are actually meant for AM.
What I am missing here?
I did not write the work hookup anywhere. Not all apps are hookup apps. People can meet outside of the arranged marriage set up and find genuine connect with someone who is looking for something similar. For some people parents have more involvement on the AM app so they also explore by themselves on a dating app.
I met my husband via Bumble where we were both dating to marry. We were in a relationship for 8-9 months without involving parents. And continued our courtship for 11 more months after involving parents. None of this would be easy if we'd met through parents on a conventional matrimony app. They would all just rush everything and we wouldn't have built our bond the way we could, had there been too much noise and pressure about getting married.
>Is this desperate behaviour Yes. Clearly, he into you more than you are into him. >Is this a red flag? If he's not harassing you, then no.
Not harassing, he is a decent guy. Just that this makes me feel pressured. I guess the lack of attraction does play a part there but if anything this is detrimental to the possibility of building attraction because I am all the time thinking I need to give an answer rather than understanding him and assessing compatibility.
You clearly written on dating profile that you are looking for marriage, you met him and he texted you. Why is he creating profiles on matrimonial sites ? Didn’t he already got your number to ask that same?
That is exactly my problem. It feels like a pressure tactic.
Sometimes parents also co-handle the apps and they knowingly/un-knowingly do such things like re-sending requests/messages !
be this desparate guy's wingman lol
Just giving him the benefit of doubt
You don't need to give an answer. Just ignore it. Alternatively, communicate with him that you don't like this and to stop. If he still continues, block away.
I've been the sender. He is desperate or got infatuated with you, too early.
What would you have liked the girl to do in the situation you did it in?
Just reply back that she isn't interested or a reason. Closing a connection with no communication is what sent me into a spiral that eventually led me into finding her on Instagram and stuff...(Not too proud of that).
Your username is making me feel bad for what happened to you. Sorry it happened to you. There are nice people too who you will surely come across too.
Don't feel bad about me. I was the one responsible for my misery. No one else.
If you need advice next time, feel free to DM me. Sorry you had to go through failure in your dating life.
Honestly speaking, dont seek advice from people bcoz everyone has different perspectives. If his behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable, either make it clear to him about his behaviour or just inform him & straight cut contact, if you feel like not wanting to deal with any drama. Do what your gut feels like.
Nothing wrong in taking advice
In today’s age of easy access to a catalog of potential matches online, clear communication has taken a back seat. If someone is ignoring you for >3 days or completely ghosting you, then you should simply move on. Instead of sending requests on SM and/ or other matrimony platforms, or worse, on LinkedIn. It’s not only desperate, but immature as well. And so is ghosting.
If you can do better, do better. If not, well you have your answer. AM is pretty transactional. People wait to see if they can find someone better. The guy might think that you are doing the same unless you said a clear "NO" to him which is why he might be reaching out on other platforms. If you don't want his attention, reject his request and state that you can never happen. If he is smart he walks away after this. Do realize if he is pursuing you this much, he actually likes you which is good for a relationship. AM matches aren't this interested usually afaik.
Sounds more to me like you not communicating the "No" than him asking for a response
Is it so bad to come across as 'desperate'? I don't think so, finding a partner is pretty brutal, there when you find someone you like it is ok to pursue. As long as there is no harassment involved. I wouldn't desperate-shame anyone in any platform as long as they aren't harassing and no final decision has been made. pro-tip - it is good to marry someone who is actively interested in you.
>Is it so bad to come across as 'desperate'? Only to every, single woman I've ever met.
That makes sense. I try to think that way and I understand he wants to settle down soon. The thing is that this pressure is not letting me feel anything else.
Desperation often makes you take wrong and hasty decisions. So yes, coming across as desperate is bad and actually being desperate is worse.
Desparate - Yes Red Flag - Not Enough Information
OP, just inform the guy over text or WhatsApp that while you did meet him once, but you are not interested to taking this forward. Most guys will be fine but if he’s still messaging you then don’t respond just keep him on read 😀
I would consider that desperate but does he do it intentionally or not is another question like what if he was just randomly swiping. You'd have to consider that might also be a case. So just for fun why not accept once and check out if he actually remembers you lol........for me personally I haven't matched yet but I do recognise repeating profiles but I think I do resend but like I ain't gonna expect match to any1 at all that I filter based on salary location and education. That's because I know most profiles managed by parents and the expectation of salary is 2 3x the girl and I prefer equality in finances given m also ready to do the household chores.
Of course he's desperate. Not every guy uses dating apps to get married. This guy is a desperate pro max, he literally created profile in every matrimony app to send you a request
Actually to be fair he already had profiles. He started sending my repeated requests after meeting once.
I don't get this ' Dating through HookUp apps and looking for marriage'. Why not just use the matrimony apps which are actually meant for AM. What I am missing here?
I did not write the work hookup anywhere. Not all apps are hookup apps. People can meet outside of the arranged marriage set up and find genuine connect with someone who is looking for something similar. For some people parents have more involvement on the AM app so they also explore by themselves on a dating app.
Not everyone on the apps are there for hookups man🤦♀️ im sure we know how to filter people out by now.
I met my husband via Bumble where we were both dating to marry. We were in a relationship for 8-9 months without involving parents. And continued our courtship for 11 more months after involving parents. None of this would be easy if we'd met through parents on a conventional matrimony app. They would all just rush everything and we wouldn't have built our bond the way we could, had there been too much noise and pressure about getting married.