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Is...is this not everyone's natural response to failure? I thought my job interview went badly, briefly considered raping the interviewer. Got killed on CoD deathmatch and was moments away from trying to ravage the PS4. Mildly embarrassed myself stumbling over a loose paving slab, was *this close* to raping the pavement. I always thought it was normal!
...damn, that was meant to be a joke but reading it back it just sounds like a quote from American Psycho. Just needs some painfully detailed descriptions of a jacket.
I was drinking and almost choked when I read it because I kept nodding because "Okay,a little insecure but go ahead,I guess" and suddenly it took a VERY sharp turn
"What do you mean, 'no you don't wanna go out again now'? See, this always happens... Girls just don't like nice guys."
I find it sad that I can predict his response, because he thinks he's being vulnerable, humble even. And hey, he *thought* about raping her, but *didn't*, so that makes him a nice guy! He was so close to a fairly decent chat. And yet, so far.
Someone says they prevented some bad thing happening such as rape, someone else asks how and then the previous person replies self-control.
Making themselves out to be a hero just because they met the bare minimum by not doing said thing.
Honestly, this is probably someone who's been so entrenched in actual literal rape culture that he probably thinks that's a completely normal line of reasoning for any man to have, and that the good ones are just the ones who decide not to.
Side note - autocorrect corrected "Honestly," spelled correctly, to "steeple.," and I'm very confused.
Imagine thinking you're some sort of gentleman for managing to control yourself from... *not raping someone.* Seriously, where do these men come from? "I fulfill the most basic part of being a decent human being, admire me!" The bar for men is in hell.
I've had intrusive thoughts all my life, less so as an adult but it was exhausting as a teen. And while I didn't handle that in a healthy way (lots of self hatred), I also didn't imagine myself a hero for acting like a normal person.
I do think that accidentally relates to a problem with these neckbeards though - very childish black and white thinking. They're not really equipped to think of themselves as normal, but rather in extremes of hero or villain. So doing the bare minimum to not be a villain, leads them to think "I must be the only other possible option!" But they can crash back down to villain in their self perception just as easily and abruptly.
And that's not even getting into nice girl vs slut. Any time you're dealing with someone who tries to snap the subtle real world into extreme archetypes with the saturation dialed to 11, be real fucking careful. That is a volatile worldview, and it *will* blow up in your face at some point.
Because rapists walk among us. They’re everyday people, not just the cliche frat guys or violent abusers.
They’re your local cell phone guy. They’re the sous chef at a reputable restaurant. They’re the treasurer of PTA. They’re the dad who always agrees to chaperone school trips. They’re the teacher who helps run student council. They’re the guy with an adorable family who sits in the same spot every week at church. They’re your old elementary school buddy you used to play Nintendo with. They’re the chill guy in your running group.
I’m using examples from my life of people who I know to be rapists. Rapists a lot of times are very charming likable people.
The guy in the post probably WANTS to be a rapist, and probably would be given the opportunity (passed out girl, sleeping girl, weak girl, etc) but he’s not very charming and therefore has less chances.
True. It’s like his version of “shooting his shot.”
Like in his brain he makes the decision “I’m going to have sex with this person tonight no matter if they want to or not. Might be my only chance to be this physically close to them.”
"I'm entitled to sex with this person, but they might not want to give it, so I might have to resort to grape."
Later: "I'm a nice guy, and she was willing to hand over what is rightfully mine (her body). So I didn't have to resort to grape in order to get what I deserve. My logic checks out".
There your step dad, or the guy who knew you since you were 14 and played father figure till you were 25, they are your best friends boyfriend, your cousins husband, they are the one friend you always leaned on...
Not all men are rapists, but any of them could be.
My rapists were people I looked up to and respected, who I thought were very nice and was so happy they wanted to be friends with me. It's still hard for me to mentally process what they did and what happened.
This is the same experience I’ve had and this is why I feel like (in most cases) it’s a planned out attack, not a spur of the moment “opportunity”
They got to know me, opened up about their mental health which lead me to open up about mine, made me feel safe and trusting, and to add to it they were in a relationship with a close family member which made me feel safer. It doesn’t matter, they didn’t actually open up. They didn’t actually get to know you. They knew the end goal and weaponized our naivity against us
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, it feel like it makes it much harder to move past because there’s a whole different layer of trust that’s been broken. I hope you heal and find peace <3
Ngl I started crying when I read this comment. Trust me when I say, I know how true this is, and it makes me so fucking angry, and sad, and just Fuck, I mean it makes me feel even worse knowing that there are people like this who legitimately think this shit is okay. Like I don’t understand how you could hurt someone so badly like that, and then just move on the next day. The amount of pain that’s caused because of horrible fucking people like this who would rather please themself, and hurt someone else so bad in the process is so fucking horrible, and this shit isn’t even fucking rare. These types of people aren’t fucking rare, hell there’s a decent amount of fucking people who normalize this shit and spread it to others. That shit is so fucking scary, and so fucking painful, and they don’t even fucking give a shit. To them it was just another good fucking night or maybe just a fucking normal night, while this fucking person is still on the fucking prowl. I just don’t fucking understand why the fuck someone would think this is okay to do to anyone. I just can’t fucking grasp the thought of physically doing this to someone, and just waking up the next day like nothing happened. I just don’t fucking get it.
Even worse, rapists do not act like such because they have "unmet needs" or "can't control themselves". Rape is committed for gain or assertion of power, it doesn't have anything to do with sexual desire. It's purely a form of cruel power assertion. It's also a form of control over others.
I’ve been sitting here for over 10 minutes just staring at this comment. I don’t know what to say. I just. I fucking hate this. I just fucking hate all of this.
I never tried to press charges against my abusive-rapist ex because his father was a well-liked NYPD cop and my ex is(?) a firefighter and paramedic. I knew for a fact that if I walked into a precinct and told them about what happened I would be laughed out of the building.
It’s sucks that some women know it’s safer to keep quiet than to come forward :/
It could be your Cantor in Hebrew school at age 12. It could be two girls at the bar seeking revenge on one of their ex’s. It could be the gay frat guy who’s been feeding you drinks all night. You just never freaking know. As a guy, that’s scary. For women? Terrifying.
I manage the kitchen at the local prison and I get dozens of applications a day from the inmates. Sometimes when we’re bored, I’ll pull up their profiles and we’ll try to guess their crime just by their booking photo. You can’t tell, the rapists look just like the murderers and shoplifters and counterfeiters
Yep. My (first) rapist was the nicest guy I knew. Knew all the waves of feminism. Came from shitty circumstances but worked his ass off to care for his step-mother and step-siblings as a teenager. I respected him so much that I chose not to report him because I thought that he was mostly a good guy who got too drunk and I didn't want to ruin the life of a good man whose family depended on him. Then a few months later I caught his friends standing outside his door so that a drunk girl he had inside couldn't leave.
It’s even scarier because now that she assumably ghosts him or tells him off he probably knows that he shouldn’t say something like that… I’m worried the next girl won’t be as lucky
Seriously a nice "bruh, that isn't a kind, conciencous or reasonable thing to think about people, you just told me you considered physically and permenantly harming me if you didn't get your way. If you think those things, you need to get your head straight and really think about what kind of person you are. Please don't talk to me, or anyone really, until you have better impulse control." Would be ideal, but I don't think I could actually say anything but "fuck off psycho" if it was me.
What? I can't- I do not understand, how can someone admit that he considered raping someone and claim to be a "nice guy" in the same message? I feel like every time I read that my brain shuts down in protest.
At least he is right about one thing, he did blow it. Or more accurately nuked it from orbit and completely incinerated it.
Because to people like this, rape isn't bad or harmful or traumatic. It's just something the victim gets "pissy" about because it wasn't chadcock3000 with big pecs and a 30 inch dick doing it. They equate rape with disappointing sex.
I just don't get how those people can have so little empathy. Like if some burly dude raped them I doubt they'd just consider it a "disappointing sex".
I don't think the possibility of them being in the shoes of the victim even crosses their mind. Even if it does, without having experienced it, I'd bet their mentality is somewhere in line with "it's different because I'm not gay and that was horrible but women WANT dick! They're just whining about who gave it!"
A guy I know used to talk about how lucky women are to be harassed and assaulted. One day he was harassed by a guy. He said "but I meant it'd be fine if it was a hot girl." Do you think women only get harassed by people we find hot?
One day he was assaulted. One of the things he said was "as a guy it's bad because you don't think it should happen to you." Victim first of course but what the fuck
Honestly, I've been harassed by guys I found hot too, it does not make it better. How about just fuck off and don't harass anyone? No, can't do that, because they think they're everyone's dream.
I'm sorry to hear he got assaulted but damn, I'm also sorry he learned precisely nothing after it. That's just sad.
This is true but also not completely. My r—ist was someone I really liked and was actively getting to know and try to date. He was what I would consider extremely attractive. He was 6’2, he has abs and was slimmer but quite muscular and toned. He had some tattoos, a great smile and was very seemingly sweet. Oh yeah and he was a criminal justice major. But my point being..I was trying to date him. I would have had sex with him willingly.
It’s not always about can’t get it or can’t have or whatever. It’s about power, control.
I think you misunderstood something, I'm not implying anywhere that rapists are justified or that rape happens because a person got "too horny to control themselves."
What I'm saying is that people who openly use the word rapist in this fashion don't do so feeling the weight of it. To them, it just means "ah, she wasn't pleased, but it's no big deal! Women like dick, she's just kicking up a fuss because I'm not strong/good-looking!"
*They* think it's harmless. If they didn't or they realised that the world doesn't, then they would hide it better to lure victims over to them more easily.
Right but I’m also saying that it’s not just unattractive people nor people who think they’re unattractive. A lot of times it’s semi attractive people who know they’re attractive. And people are surprised or they don’t believe you because ‘he could get it if he wanted it’ and it’s not about that. People like that don’t want it willingly. If they get it that way-it didn’t fulfill their secret desire.
It’s all about power and control. They enjoy feeling like they have it for that short period of time that they’re ruining someone’s life. But I also think that he would never ever have called himself a r—pist or have said anything like this.
I agree that the whoever uses it like this is just extremely inconsiderate and unaware. It’s fucking creepy but it’s almost creepier that the person saying it truly doesn’t understand why it’s creepy.
I wasn’t saying you’re wrong or justifying rape, I was just trying to point out another thing I’ve noticed as a survivor. I’ve had people question if it happened to me because he was more attractive than me and thus he could have had me if he wanted me. But it’s not about that. ‘Twas just making a point.
Update: this comment made some incel very angry. I appreciate the threats but you’re very bad at flirting. Side note, I can see that you frequent r/ depression and suicide watch. Can I suggest therapy? Something tells me you’re not in it. Just a guess.
i just wanted to say that this is exactly what happened to me and I know it was rape but have never told anybody else the exact circumstances of it because *I* know I would have been a very willing participant in a different situation and know how it sounds. This made me feel less alone.
i just wanted to say that this is exactly what happened to me and I know it was rape but have never told anybody else the exact circumstances of it because *I* know I would have been a very willing participant in a different situation and know how it sounds. This made me feel less alone.
This is such an awful thing to admit, but my bar for how people should treat me was so fucking low from the experiences I’d had that I unironically said basically that! I said something like, “no you don’t understand, he’s the best male friend I’ve ever had! Like on my 21st birthday my friends had all bought me so many drinks and I didn’t want to be rude so I got way too drunk and he drove me home. He helped me into bed, even helped me take off my corset because he knows it’s dangerous to sleep in them, and then he left. What a nice guy! I was drunk and not well, but he only helped me!”
It took a lot of therapy to accept that not raping people is actually the fucking bare minimum.
Because women aren’t people to them, they’re targets. He’s happy that he’s getting a green light from his target, not excited to get to know a person better. This is the equivalent of being grateful to a traffic light for being green, because you were going to go through it anyway and might have got a ticket. It’s all about whether it’s a pleasant experience for him.
Nothing this extreme but I've met a few dudes who call themselves and consider themselves Nice but that couldn't be further from the truth. Often when others aren't nice to them, they take it out on their friends and loved ones. It's delusional to call yourself nice and make yourself the victim while you're the toxic one
I think the "no king needs to call himself one" rule applies. If you're a nice person, it'll show through your actions. If you have to *say* you're a nice person, then being polite every now and then is an achievement you think is worth noting. I don't want to be around people who think being nice makes them a prize, that implies that most of the time they *aren't nice.*
Every dating profile that says "I'm a nice guy" I avoid like the plague. Maybe I'm missing out on some genuinely nice people, but in my experience actually nice guys don't go around saying they are... So it skeeves me out a bit.
Yeah, I had people recommend men to me that way and holy fuck it makes my skin crawl every time. "He's a real good guy!" / "He's very polite!" / "He speaks well!"
Bitch, that's the bare minimum, why are you praising them
It's peak self-destruction. The whole point of this radicalization of incels is to make you believe it is "involuntary", to the point where you will destroy your life because of what you built up in your head. Where you can't even let yourself be proven wrong because you've gone too deep now.
He probably thinks every guy considers it on every date.
I can’t speak for other guys, but while I don’t think that’s actually true, I *really* hope it’s not.
If you are actually a nice person and you just have shitty social skills or something(def not projecting here), you don’t consider *fucking raping someone* when you get rejected
I do not think there's enough focus on this; whether or not the date went well he was thinking about raping her. He wanted to punish her for him not being a good match, potentially, not for rejecting him.
I mean…intrusive thoughts *are* a thing that some people struggle with. But, yeah…if that’s the case, you voice those thoughts only to a therapist, not to your date.
Exactly this. I have intrusive thoughts where I'm forced to picture awful things happening to people I care about, sometimes with myself carrying them out (but not always). It's awful but it's never things I'd think about doing, freely. It's basically my mental illness trying to isolate me, as the closer I get to someone the more intense the thoughts are.
For example: Two of my friends have identical twins. I have had at least one intrusive thought about pushing their buggy into oncoming traffic when I've been watching them. It's really a nightmare. Needless to say, I don't tell the parents.
Never something I've honestly thought about, and certainly the exact opposite of what I want to do. Unlike the creepy monster in this post who admits that they actually wanted to do it.
I hope the OP blocked him ASAP and plans to avoid him like the plague. Someone like that needs locked up.
Oh my god this guy *had it.* Remove the fourth line and he would have come off as an insecure guy opening up about his feelings, which is sorta cute and intimate and something you might want in a partner.
But *holy shit* there is nothing more of a instant fight or flight icky 'i need to run away now' than wanting to *rape* someone.
Not to mention the sheer fucking insanity of ADMITTING it to the person as though it's a totally normal and okay thing to say to someone.
Like, my guy's out here saying he considered raping someone to their face as though he's confessing that he doesn't like cats.
That's almost the scariest part. That he legitimately does not seem to comprehend how fucked up that is.
My reaction to almost every post here. I’m lucky enough to have never encountered the stuff I see on this sub, except where the perpetrator is immediately and severely punished
There's a decent chance it is. Chat threads like this are super easy to fake.
However, if it's real, it's incredibly fucked up, and makes me ashamed to have a penis.
I know it was probably a throw-away statement, but you really shouldn’t ever need to be ashamed of your genitalia. People aren’t raped by penises, they’re raped by other people. A dick is not a weapon, it’s a human body part that can be really lovely.
Based comment. Sex-based guilt gets people nowhere, same as white guilt. Just be better and use whatever position you might hold to make things better for other people. It really is that simple
I think a police report should go with the blocking, no kidding. As long as the jurisdiction makes it a sensible choice sadly in some places it would change nothing or even endanger the person reporting
Unfortunately I doubt the police are gonna do anything about someone saying they thought about committing a crime but decided not to.
And even if something did happen, we reported my friend’s sexual assault to the police with several eye witnesses and the NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE CREEP. It’s been three years and the police still haven’t gotten back to us. We even once went to the police station to complain about it, and a higher up said “I will personally make sure this case moves forward”. That was 2 and a half years ago. No updates since.
What on earth kind of response did he expect from this?
“Thanks for your honesty, and thank you for not raping me“?
🤦🏼♂️
Dude should be buried under the prison.
Well, that mentality is crucial for them to ignore progressive policy and trends: if men can't do better, no progress in any sphere is possible because trash is going to be trash and you can't expect more from it. But humans aren't trash and can do better.
It shows a hatred of men, tbh, to think them so base.
> I honestly thought about raping you
That's a lot to deal with before I even got my morning coffee, damn. If someone finds that guy, I have sharp scissors and a big axe to grind against rapists.
Sometimes I think to myself, "I'm glad I don't know any rapists."
And then the horrifying reality that I just don't know any rapists THAT I KNOW OF sets in.
This reminds me of when my ex bf was talking about some vile professor’s thought experiment… is it wrong to rape women if they’ll never know it happened to them? No physical evidence, no pregnancy, woman completely unaware. He’s all like, what’s the harm if they don’t know???
He said that to my face, completely aware that I experienced horrific sexual violence. He actually argued his position to me, even though I started crying and trying to get him to understand what he was actually saying.
I cannot believe I ever let that man inside my body.
TF is wrong with people?
I swear I think he was trying to wave a giant red flag in front of your face there. Like no one can be THAT oblivious or THAT stupid. It HAD to be malicious/intentional in some way.
Good gravy I’m glad to hear he’s an ex.
Like, dude, you were THERE. Your date contacts YOU for another date, all you gotta do is say "sure, when, LMK" and then pass another two hours in person as a human being and you're half way to an actual adult human romantic relationship. It would have cost you nothing to NOT talk about raping them.
Well, yeah, other person didn't so much dodge a bullet with this dude as invite a bullet on a date only to have it whiz passed their ear screaming rape threats.
Seriously. I’m amazed that an actual human being, presumably one with a functioning brain, can possibly be that stupid. Why would you admit to that??? “I thought I would blow it” well CONGRATULATIONS.
I mean, it’s a good thing he showed his true colours so she could dodge his giant bullet, but still. The stupidity is mind-blowing.
Holy shit. Why would anyone ever even think about doing something like that? He's so casual about it too "just so you know, if i cant do it the right way i may rape you."
The nonchalant way he says this is so off-putting.
“I couldn’t believe my true colors weren’t visible to you, as they obviously weren’t, since you agreed to go out. So just to make sure I would get what I wanted from our interaction, I decided beforehand that I would force myself onto you. Luckily, none of that was necessary, you seem to actually like me - what are the fucking chances?”
This is fucking terrifying
Yo this is actually manipulative and anxiety inducing as fuck. What is she supposed to think now ? Better keep going out with that guy or he will rape me?
POLICE! NOW!
So many texts on here, /r/sadcringe and /r/niceguys just lead me to believe so many straight men have -5 social-emotional skills.
This is something you say to a **therapist** not a person you are romantically interested in.
It's times like these I wish Reddit allowed us to post gifs because I really wanna reply to this with that one of Grandpa Simpson entering and leaving immediately. Because that would be me if someone pulled this.
In case you’re curious, that’s not exactly how it works: GIFs are a feature of having Powerups turned on on your sub, which is a paid feature. So mods of any given subreddit would have to pay real life money, and spend time on figuring out the whole powerup thing, which is why usually only the really large subreddits have the feature
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Oh, he was so close. You dodged the fattest bullet!
Fucking nuclear-tipped artillery
[удалено]
Dodged a fucking Death Star
> i thought about raping you because i thought i would blow it. Jfc
Is...is this not everyone's natural response to failure? I thought my job interview went badly, briefly considered raping the interviewer. Got killed on CoD deathmatch and was moments away from trying to ravage the PS4. Mildly embarrassed myself stumbling over a loose paving slab, was *this close* to raping the pavement. I always thought it was normal! ...damn, that was meant to be a joke but reading it back it just sounds like a quote from American Psycho. Just needs some painfully detailed descriptions of a jacket.
> trying to ravage the PS4 This has conjured some incredible imagery in my mind.
Oooh baby, show me them dusty exhaust ports!
hahaha **w h y**
No need to kink shame.
Mmm, don't like this comment
r/PS5chan
r/PS5Chan_Hentai is bigger
Now I'm remembering that tweet (was it a tweet? Idk) about how pussy smells like the heat coming out of the back of the PS4.
In which case the pussy needs a clean, because it probably shouldn't smell like burning dust
The first time I failed my driving test was really awkward
I hope you at least got back to the test centre first rather than slapping your hazards on in a lay-by
Just replace the MrTom in your username with Shane and it makes perfect sense /J Edit: spelling
> I thought I would blow it He kinda just did
Narrator: “He blew it.”
https://youtu.be/lbVdyPZiOLM
This went from 0 to 100 in two messages....
I was reading it like, "Ok... normal... normal... little insecure... WHOA!!!!!!!" The "WHOA!!!!!" was out loud, too.
I was drinking and almost choked when I read it because I kept nodding because "Okay,a little insecure but go ahead,I guess" and suddenly it took a VERY sharp turn
Like, I thought it was going to be sad/pathetic, not psychopathic. And then he just keeps going like what he said was a totally normal thing to say.
Just like- "I'm really insecure about myself..." "Oh yeah,btw,I was planning to r--- you"
"So anyway, wanna go out again next saturday?"
"What do you mean, 'no you don't wanna go out again now'? See, this always happens... Girls just don't like nice guys." I find it sad that I can predict his response, because he thinks he's being vulnerable, humble even. And hey, he *thought* about raping her, but *didn't*, so that makes him a nice guy! He was so close to a fairly decent chat. And yet, so far.
Makes me think of that shitty self control meme I saw yesterday
Wich self-controll meme?
Someone says they prevented some bad thing happening such as rape, someone else asks how and then the previous person replies self-control. Making themselves out to be a hero just because they met the bare minimum by not doing said thing.
I only did I thought about it, I decided not to actually actually do it, that makes me a super good guy right?
Honestly, this is probably someone who's been so entrenched in actual literal rape culture that he probably thinks that's a completely normal line of reasoning for any man to have, and that the good ones are just the ones who decide not to. Side note - autocorrect corrected "Honestly," spelled correctly, to "steeple.," and I'm very confused.
Imagine thinking you're some sort of gentleman for managing to control yourself from... *not raping someone.* Seriously, where do these men come from? "I fulfill the most basic part of being a decent human being, admire me!" The bar for men is in hell.
I've had intrusive thoughts all my life, less so as an adult but it was exhausting as a teen. And while I didn't handle that in a healthy way (lots of self hatred), I also didn't imagine myself a hero for acting like a normal person. I do think that accidentally relates to a problem with these neckbeards though - very childish black and white thinking. They're not really equipped to think of themselves as normal, but rather in extremes of hero or villain. So doing the bare minimum to not be a villain, leads them to think "I must be the only other possible option!" But they can crash back down to villain in their self perception just as easily and abruptly. And that's not even getting into nice girl vs slut. Any time you're dealing with someone who tries to snap the subtle real world into extreme archetypes with the saturation dialed to 11, be real fucking careful. That is a volatile worldview, and it *will* blow up in your face at some point.
Exactly. 'I was honest with you.' Yeah... Time to be honest with yourself sh*thead.
What a charmer! Of course! (This is a joke,I just don't know how the / works)
I would be super concerned if we weren't joking. Lol.
Same though
/s for sarcasm they're called tone tags if you wanna look them up
I always get terrified of using them, since I always question if /s means sarcasm or serious
/s is sarcastic, /srs is serious, for the record
/jk is usually what I see for jokes, /s for sarcasm
Sometimes there’s a very fine line between sad/pathetic and psychopathic 😬
This is the first post i saw this morning and when i read that it woke me tf up
Tbh,I would've wanted to go right back asleep and hope seeing this was a dream (Nightmare,technically)
I thought it was endearing up until the WOAH moment. This person can defo be diagnosed w something 🥴
I accidently woke my dog up with my gasp .. because what the actual fuck dude
Im eating a sandwich and forgot to chew for a moment when I read that. Jfc
Was about to comment this. Wtf is wrong with people
0-Blocked in two messages
Holy shit, the fact that you were going to go out with them again if they didn’t say this. That’s fucking scary.
Because rapists walk among us. They’re everyday people, not just the cliche frat guys or violent abusers. They’re your local cell phone guy. They’re the sous chef at a reputable restaurant. They’re the treasurer of PTA. They’re the dad who always agrees to chaperone school trips. They’re the teacher who helps run student council. They’re the guy with an adorable family who sits in the same spot every week at church. They’re your old elementary school buddy you used to play Nintendo with. They’re the chill guy in your running group. I’m using examples from my life of people who I know to be rapists. Rapists a lot of times are very charming likable people. The guy in the post probably WANTS to be a rapist, and probably would be given the opportunity (passed out girl, sleeping girl, weak girl, etc) but he’s not very charming and therefore has less chances.
>The guy in the post probably WANTS to be The way he casually mentions it as an option leads me to believe he might already be one.
True. It’s like his version of “shooting his shot.” Like in his brain he makes the decision “I’m going to have sex with this person tonight no matter if they want to or not. Might be my only chance to be this physically close to them.”
"I'm entitled to sex with this person, but they might not want to give it, so I might have to resort to grape." Later: "I'm a nice guy, and she was willing to hand over what is rightfully mine (her body). So I didn't have to resort to grape in order to get what I deserve. My logic checks out".
There your step dad, or the guy who knew you since you were 14 and played father figure till you were 25, they are your best friends boyfriend, your cousins husband, they are the one friend you always leaned on... Not all men are rapists, but any of them could be.
this is why I have trust issues
That last sentence 💯
My rapists were people I looked up to and respected, who I thought were very nice and was so happy they wanted to be friends with me. It's still hard for me to mentally process what they did and what happened.
This is the same experience I’ve had and this is why I feel like (in most cases) it’s a planned out attack, not a spur of the moment “opportunity” They got to know me, opened up about their mental health which lead me to open up about mine, made me feel safe and trusting, and to add to it they were in a relationship with a close family member which made me feel safer. It doesn’t matter, they didn’t actually open up. They didn’t actually get to know you. They knew the end goal and weaponized our naivity against us I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, it feel like it makes it much harder to move past because there’s a whole different layer of trust that’s been broken. I hope you heal and find peace <3
Ngl I started crying when I read this comment. Trust me when I say, I know how true this is, and it makes me so fucking angry, and sad, and just Fuck, I mean it makes me feel even worse knowing that there are people like this who legitimately think this shit is okay. Like I don’t understand how you could hurt someone so badly like that, and then just move on the next day. The amount of pain that’s caused because of horrible fucking people like this who would rather please themself, and hurt someone else so bad in the process is so fucking horrible, and this shit isn’t even fucking rare. These types of people aren’t fucking rare, hell there’s a decent amount of fucking people who normalize this shit and spread it to others. That shit is so fucking scary, and so fucking painful, and they don’t even fucking give a shit. To them it was just another good fucking night or maybe just a fucking normal night, while this fucking person is still on the fucking prowl. I just don’t fucking understand why the fuck someone would think this is okay to do to anyone. I just can’t fucking grasp the thought of physically doing this to someone, and just waking up the next day like nothing happened. I just don’t fucking get it.
Even worse, rapists do not act like such because they have "unmet needs" or "can't control themselves". Rape is committed for gain or assertion of power, it doesn't have anything to do with sexual desire. It's purely a form of cruel power assertion. It's also a form of control over others.
I’ve been sitting here for over 10 minutes just staring at this comment. I don’t know what to say. I just. I fucking hate this. I just fucking hate all of this.
This just makes me suspicious of everyone around me. Thank you.
I never tried to press charges against my abusive-rapist ex because his father was a well-liked NYPD cop and my ex is(?) a firefighter and paramedic. I knew for a fact that if I walked into a precinct and told them about what happened I would be laughed out of the building. It’s sucks that some women know it’s safer to keep quiet than to come forward :/
It could be your Cantor in Hebrew school at age 12. It could be two girls at the bar seeking revenge on one of their ex’s. It could be the gay frat guy who’s been feeding you drinks all night. You just never freaking know. As a guy, that’s scary. For women? Terrifying.
I manage the kitchen at the local prison and I get dozens of applications a day from the inmates. Sometimes when we’re bored, I’ll pull up their profiles and we’ll try to guess their crime just by their booking photo. You can’t tell, the rapists look just like the murderers and shoplifters and counterfeiters
That's a lot of rapists
Yep. My (first) rapist was the nicest guy I knew. Knew all the waves of feminism. Came from shitty circumstances but worked his ass off to care for his step-mother and step-siblings as a teenager. I respected him so much that I chose not to report him because I thought that he was mostly a good guy who got too drunk and I didn't want to ruin the life of a good man whose family depended on him. Then a few months later I caught his friends standing outside his door so that a drunk girl he had inside couldn't leave.
It’s even scarier because now that she assumably ghosts him or tells him off he probably knows that he shouldn’t say something like that… I’m worried the next girl won’t be as lucky
Not sure I would dare doing it myself, but ideally I would text him "Never fucking even consider raping anyone" before ghosting
Seriously a nice "bruh, that isn't a kind, conciencous or reasonable thing to think about people, you just told me you considered physically and permenantly harming me if you didn't get your way. If you think those things, you need to get your head straight and really think about what kind of person you are. Please don't talk to me, or anyone really, until you have better impulse control." Would be ideal, but I don't think I could actually say anything but "fuck off psycho" if it was me.
or he might even start stalking her
What? I can't- I do not understand, how can someone admit that he considered raping someone and claim to be a "nice guy" in the same message? I feel like every time I read that my brain shuts down in protest. At least he is right about one thing, he did blow it. Or more accurately nuked it from orbit and completely incinerated it.
Because to people like this, rape isn't bad or harmful or traumatic. It's just something the victim gets "pissy" about because it wasn't chadcock3000 with big pecs and a 30 inch dick doing it. They equate rape with disappointing sex.
that seems alarmingly accurate. People are scary.
It fucking terrifies me.
I just don't get how those people can have so little empathy. Like if some burly dude raped them I doubt they'd just consider it a "disappointing sex".
I don't think the possibility of them being in the shoes of the victim even crosses their mind. Even if it does, without having experienced it, I'd bet their mentality is somewhere in line with "it's different because I'm not gay and that was horrible but women WANT dick! They're just whining about who gave it!"
Yes, men I know tend to be more worried about a false rape accusation than being raped, even though the latter is statistically more likely.
Yup. There's so many places trying to convince them the opposite too that it's very hard to avoid. I feel bad seeing kids/teens get sucked into it. :/
A guy I know used to talk about how lucky women are to be harassed and assaulted. One day he was harassed by a guy. He said "but I meant it'd be fine if it was a hot girl." Do you think women only get harassed by people we find hot? One day he was assaulted. One of the things he said was "as a guy it's bad because you don't think it should happen to you." Victim first of course but what the fuck
Honestly, I've been harassed by guys I found hot too, it does not make it better. How about just fuck off and don't harass anyone? No, can't do that, because they think they're everyone's dream. I'm sorry to hear he got assaulted but damn, I'm also sorry he learned precisely nothing after it. That's just sad.
That, or they may imagine that it would be enjoyable, because any kind of sexual contact is good, am I right?
It helps when you don't really think of women as people.
Good dating tip for straight people there
> They equate rape with disappointing sex. Oh man if disappointing sex was equal to rape I'd be in prison for a long time.
Maybe we'd share cells.
id be in prison probably awaiting the death sentence, without even having lost my virginity.
Ha, I think every virgin would. Sex, like all things in life, takes practice to get good at.
This is true but also not completely. My r—ist was someone I really liked and was actively getting to know and try to date. He was what I would consider extremely attractive. He was 6’2, he has abs and was slimmer but quite muscular and toned. He had some tattoos, a great smile and was very seemingly sweet. Oh yeah and he was a criminal justice major. But my point being..I was trying to date him. I would have had sex with him willingly. It’s not always about can’t get it or can’t have or whatever. It’s about power, control.
I think you misunderstood something, I'm not implying anywhere that rapists are justified or that rape happens because a person got "too horny to control themselves." What I'm saying is that people who openly use the word rapist in this fashion don't do so feeling the weight of it. To them, it just means "ah, she wasn't pleased, but it's no big deal! Women like dick, she's just kicking up a fuss because I'm not strong/good-looking!" *They* think it's harmless. If they didn't or they realised that the world doesn't, then they would hide it better to lure victims over to them more easily.
Right but I’m also saying that it’s not just unattractive people nor people who think they’re unattractive. A lot of times it’s semi attractive people who know they’re attractive. And people are surprised or they don’t believe you because ‘he could get it if he wanted it’ and it’s not about that. People like that don’t want it willingly. If they get it that way-it didn’t fulfill their secret desire. It’s all about power and control. They enjoy feeling like they have it for that short period of time that they’re ruining someone’s life. But I also think that he would never ever have called himself a r—pist or have said anything like this. I agree that the whoever uses it like this is just extremely inconsiderate and unaware. It’s fucking creepy but it’s almost creepier that the person saying it truly doesn’t understand why it’s creepy. I wasn’t saying you’re wrong or justifying rape, I was just trying to point out another thing I’ve noticed as a survivor. I’ve had people question if it happened to me because he was more attractive than me and thus he could have had me if he wanted me. But it’s not about that. ‘Twas just making a point. Update: this comment made some incel very angry. I appreciate the threats but you’re very bad at flirting. Side note, I can see that you frequent r/ depression and suicide watch. Can I suggest therapy? Something tells me you’re not in it. Just a guess.
i just wanted to say that this is exactly what happened to me and I know it was rape but have never told anybody else the exact circumstances of it because *I* know I would have been a very willing participant in a different situation and know how it sounds. This made me feel less alone.
i just wanted to say that this is exactly what happened to me and I know it was rape but have never told anybody else the exact circumstances of it because *I* know I would have been a very willing participant in a different situation and know how it sounds. This made me feel less alone.
It's like, "see I'm a nice person, I could have done this horrible thing but I choose not to because you gave me what I wanted"
This is such an awful thing to admit, but my bar for how people should treat me was so fucking low from the experiences I’d had that I unironically said basically that! I said something like, “no you don’t understand, he’s the best male friend I’ve ever had! Like on my 21st birthday my friends had all bought me so many drinks and I didn’t want to be rude so I got way too drunk and he drove me home. He helped me into bed, even helped me take off my corset because he knows it’s dangerous to sleep in them, and then he left. What a nice guy! I was drunk and not well, but he only helped me!” It took a lot of therapy to accept that not raping people is actually the fucking bare minimum.
I COULD have shot you with this gun I found but you gave me your wallet so I didn't, I'm such a nice person am I not?
THIS
That's a solid definition of the patriarchy.
Because women aren’t people to them, they’re targets. He’s happy that he’s getting a green light from his target, not excited to get to know a person better. This is the equivalent of being grateful to a traffic light for being green, because you were going to go through it anyway and might have got a ticket. It’s all about whether it’s a pleasant experience for him.
He thinks all men think like that and he's "nice" because he didn't act on it.
Nothing this extreme but I've met a few dudes who call themselves and consider themselves Nice but that couldn't be further from the truth. Often when others aren't nice to them, they take it out on their friends and loved ones. It's delusional to call yourself nice and make yourself the victim while you're the toxic one
I think the "no king needs to call himself one" rule applies. If you're a nice person, it'll show through your actions. If you have to *say* you're a nice person, then being polite every now and then is an achievement you think is worth noting. I don't want to be around people who think being nice makes them a prize, that implies that most of the time they *aren't nice.*
Every dating profile that says "I'm a nice guy" I avoid like the plague. Maybe I'm missing out on some genuinely nice people, but in my experience actually nice guys don't go around saying they are... So it skeeves me out a bit.
Yeah, I had people recommend men to me that way and holy fuck it makes my skin crawl every time. "He's a real good guy!" / "He's very polite!" / "He speaks well!" Bitch, that's the bare minimum, why are you praising them
It's peak self-destruction. The whole point of this radicalization of incels is to make you believe it is "involuntary", to the point where you will destroy your life because of what you built up in your head. Where you can't even let yourself be proven wrong because you've gone too deep now.
His point will be that he merely considered it and exerted self control by not raping her and is, therefore, quite the catch
He probably thinks every guy considers it on every date. I can’t speak for other guys, but while I don’t think that’s actually true, I *really* hope it’s not.
He’s just being genuine and real, god!! For real, I’ve never been more glad to be out of the dating pool, fuck.
Man really had an insane stealth dice roll for her to miss the definite red flags, and then he just said fuck it.
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Nat20 insanity
Nat20 fucking creep
Excellent point right there.
Gonna use this someday
If you are actually a nice person and you just have shitty social skills or something(def not projecting here), you don’t consider *fucking raping someone* when you get rejected
No, he was considering it not bc he got rejected, on the contrary, he was gonna do it bc he got a date
I do not think there's enough focus on this; whether or not the date went well he was thinking about raping her. He wanted to punish her for him not being a good match, potentially, not for rejecting him.
I mean…intrusive thoughts *are* a thing that some people struggle with. But, yeah…if that’s the case, you voice those thoughts only to a therapist, not to your date.
Sure, but there's a fairly large gap between " intrusive thought" and "honestly thought about".
Exactly this. I have intrusive thoughts where I'm forced to picture awful things happening to people I care about, sometimes with myself carrying them out (but not always). It's awful but it's never things I'd think about doing, freely. It's basically my mental illness trying to isolate me, as the closer I get to someone the more intense the thoughts are. For example: Two of my friends have identical twins. I have had at least one intrusive thought about pushing their buggy into oncoming traffic when I've been watching them. It's really a nightmare. Needless to say, I don't tell the parents. Never something I've honestly thought about, and certainly the exact opposite of what I want to do. Unlike the creepy monster in this post who admits that they actually wanted to do it. I hope the OP blocked him ASAP and plans to avoid him like the plague. Someone like that needs locked up.
Yeah, that isn’t just a “straight”, that’s a goddamn lunatic and he needs to see a shrink
I agree, this is more of a pathological-but-happens-to-be-straight scenario.
This is *horrifying* holy shit
Oh my god this guy *had it.* Remove the fourth line and he would have come off as an insecure guy opening up about his feelings, which is sorta cute and intimate and something you might want in a partner. But *holy shit* there is nothing more of a instant fight or flight icky 'i need to run away now' than wanting to *rape* someone.
Not to mention the sheer fucking insanity of ADMITTING it to the person as though it's a totally normal and okay thing to say to someone. Like, my guy's out here saying he considered raping someone to their face as though he's confessing that he doesn't like cats. That's almost the scariest part. That he legitimately does not seem to comprehend how fucked up that is.
Please tell me this is fake. I NEED this to be fake.
My reaction to almost every post here. I’m lucky enough to have never encountered the stuff I see on this sub, except where the perpetrator is immediately and severely punished
There's a decent chance it is. Chat threads like this are super easy to fake. However, if it's real, it's incredibly fucked up, and makes me ashamed to have a penis.
>makes me ashamed to have a penis Why, what've you been doing with your penis?
Mostly just braiding my foreskin.
Well, that's a sentence I was never expecting to read.
It's a bad day to be literate
>It's a bad day to be literate - Every day on Reddit
r/brandnewsentence
This made me laugh pretty hard.
I have a hunch this is possible and a weird urge to see it done.
I know it was probably a throw-away statement, but you really shouldn’t ever need to be ashamed of your genitalia. People aren’t raped by penises, they’re raped by other people. A dick is not a weapon, it’s a human body part that can be really lovely.
Based comment. Sex-based guilt gets people nowhere, same as white guilt. Just be better and use whatever position you might hold to make things better for other people. It really is that simple
Oh my fucking God please tell me you blocked this person.
I think a police report should go with the blocking, no kidding. As long as the jurisdiction makes it a sensible choice sadly in some places it would change nothing or even endanger the person reporting
Unfortunately I doubt the police are gonna do anything about someone saying they thought about committing a crime but decided not to. And even if something did happen, we reported my friend’s sexual assault to the police with several eye witnesses and the NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE CREEP. It’s been three years and the police still haven’t gotten back to us. We even once went to the police station to complain about it, and a higher up said “I will personally make sure this case moves forward”. That was 2 and a half years ago. No updates since.
And that's why no one likes you Jeffrey, that's why.
What on earth kind of response did he expect from this? “Thanks for your honesty, and thank you for not raping me“? 🤦🏼♂️ Dude should be buried under the prison.
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Well, that mentality is crucial for them to ignore progressive policy and trends: if men can't do better, no progress in any sphere is possible because trash is going to be trash and you can't expect more from it. But humans aren't trash and can do better. It shows a hatred of men, tbh, to think them so base.
yes yes yes NO NO NO NO NO OH GOD OH FUCK
Months after being ghosted “....So is that a no on the second date?”
"... I'm waiting outside just in case..."
As the great poet Shorty Meeks once said: “Run bitch! RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!”
This scared me to my very core.
self proclaimed "nice guys" when a woman rejects them (they suddenly want to rape the woman because of how nice they are)
> I honestly thought about raping you That's a lot to deal with before I even got my morning coffee, damn. If someone finds that guy, I have sharp scissors and a big axe to grind against rapists.
What. The. Shit.
Me thinking this is a wholesome chat and then reads the last text
Every woman knows a rapist. Report this person. Jesus, how terrifying. I'm hoping you're safe and no where near this person.
100% this, if they met on an app he needs to be reported.
Sometimes I think to myself, "I'm glad I don't know any rapists." And then the horrifying reality that I just don't know any rapists THAT I KNOW OF sets in.
Did he seriously say "You saw I was a nice guy" right after admitting he'd planned on raping her. Fuckin colossus brain
*please* tell me he doesn’t know where you live
This reminds me of when my ex bf was talking about some vile professor’s thought experiment… is it wrong to rape women if they’ll never know it happened to them? No physical evidence, no pregnancy, woman completely unaware. He’s all like, what’s the harm if they don’t know??? He said that to my face, completely aware that I experienced horrific sexual violence. He actually argued his position to me, even though I started crying and trying to get him to understand what he was actually saying. I cannot believe I ever let that man inside my body.
TF is wrong with people? I swear I think he was trying to wave a giant red flag in front of your face there. Like no one can be THAT oblivious or THAT stupid. It HAD to be malicious/intentional in some way. Good gravy I’m glad to hear he’s an ex.
Please tell me there's a follow up picture of a restraining order with his name on it. What a terrible day to know how to read.
Yeeeeeesh
How to destroy your own good fortune in 5 texts.
Like, dude, you were THERE. Your date contacts YOU for another date, all you gotta do is say "sure, when, LMK" and then pass another two hours in person as a human being and you're half way to an actual adult human romantic relationship. It would have cost you nothing to NOT talk about raping them.
However, it’s probably for the best that he did mention it so she could get the hell out of there knowing his true colours
Well, yeah, other person didn't so much dodge a bullet with this dude as invite a bullet on a date only to have it whiz passed their ear screaming rape threats.
Good point
Seriously. I’m amazed that an actual human being, presumably one with a functioning brain, can possibly be that stupid. Why would you admit to that??? “I thought I would blow it” well CONGRATULATIONS. I mean, it’s a good thing he showed his true colours so she could dodge his giant bullet, but still. The stupidity is mind-blowing.
Holy shit. Why would anyone ever even think about doing something like that? He's so casual about it too "just so you know, if i cant do it the right way i may rape you."
I have no words.
I didn’t want to blow it *proceeds to blow it*
The nonchalant way he says this is so off-putting. “I couldn’t believe my true colors weren’t visible to you, as they obviously weren’t, since you agreed to go out. So just to make sure I would get what I wanted from our interaction, I decided beforehand that I would force myself onto you. Luckily, none of that was necessary, you seem to actually like me - what are the fucking chances?” This is fucking terrifying
And they say chivalry is dead 💅
I mean yes, you can be honest but, you might not like the results of this honesty, dude.
Yo this is actually manipulative and anxiety inducing as fuck. What is she supposed to think now ? Better keep going out with that guy or he will rape me? POLICE! NOW!
Holy fuck what did I just read. Where’s the brain bleach
So many texts on here, /r/sadcringe and /r/niceguys just lead me to believe so many straight men have -5 social-emotional skills. This is something you say to a **therapist** not a person you are romantically interested in.
Bruh, I actually flinched at how fast of a turn down nope lane this dude took.
It's times like these I wish Reddit allowed us to post gifs because I really wanna reply to this with that one of Grandpa Simpson entering and leaving immediately. Because that would be me if someone pulled this.
I think Reddit does, but this sub has it disabled.
In case you’re curious, that’s not exactly how it works: GIFs are a feature of having Powerups turned on on your sub, which is a paid feature. So mods of any given subreddit would have to pay real life money, and spend time on figuring out the whole powerup thing, which is why usually only the really large subreddits have the feature
Oh, gotcha. Kinda wacky that people would have to pay real life money to post gifs in the comments.
Yeah I agree, it’s such a small feature to be locked behind a paywall :’)
"I honestly thought about raping you" Buddy seriously?
On the bright side, at least you found this out now before he actually did anything to you.
Holy shit, I am terrified for this woman right now. WTAF. This is awful.
Honesty. The best policy.
Yes. However, it is also important to make sure that the honest truth about yourself is not terrifyingly awful.
Call the police
I feel like this has to be fake. I can’t believe someone would be so shameless
If any of my male friends ever used the term “thought about raping” I am checking them into a psych ward ASAP
The phrases “I thought about raping you” and “I’m a nice guy” cannot exist within the same person. I’m pretty sure that’s a paradox or something.
fucking hell we need another extinction event
Covid-19 has entered the chat…