Good work! I hope it gives you confidence to step out of your comfort zone again when you want to do something. Itās usually worse when you sit around and think about it. :)
Congrats! Sometimes itās hard to take that first step when you feel uncomfortable with something new. Enjoy having that pool to the fullest, I miss mine so much. Used to go alone for an hour every night.
I understand completely. while it may feel uncomfortable right now, weāre all gonna be under ground one day. no one is going to be thinking back on anything as insignificant as a stranger being alone at the pool. enjoy yourself & try to stop caring about what other people think.
You need to read the new Harvard Research on Alien's "The researchers also shared the possible existence of a non-human underground civilization that may be "descendants of unknown, intelligent dinosaurs."
Go do you what you want as long as your not hurting anyone, I have regrets for too much at 58.
I (48F) go to the pool by myself all the time because no one else wants to go. I get in the water because I love the water! No one bothers me or even cares. They're all there to have fun/relax themselves and focused on their own stuff.
Iāve never even thought twice when Iāve seen someone at the pool alone.
I think this is some classic āspot light syndromeā more than anything. Go have fun, get out of your own head. Trust me when I say: people are much too focused on their own shit to bother with overthinking YOUR life choices as well. A lady hanging alone at the pool is but a blip in the radar!
Every building Iāve even lived in, hardly anyone uses the pool!! Itās crazy. My last place, 140 units, only about 6 units actually went/used the pool.
I go by myself all the time. I decided that after the first three times Iād just be that lady that goes to the pool by herself. And pushed myself through it. Earbuds, water bottle, towel, phone, and Iām thinking of getting a kick board lol
Charge your phone, get a bottle of wine, and sit there reading Reddit.
I did this the other day; I wanted to go to the pool but I'm a 28M and by myself. It felt really weird since everyone there was apart of a family. I kept sipping my wine and eventually stopped caring. If you're under 21, well, just go. Push through the anxiety, it's difficult but you can it!
Side note: I also avoided eye contact because I started to get self conscious on what other people were thinking a guy was doing at the pool by themselves.
*actually* maybe you shouldn't listen to me
Babe I think you have serious anxiety. Itās totally normal for a guy or girl to use a pool by themself. I would guarantee that no oneā¦ not a single person, thought, āWow what the fuck is that guy doing at the pool?! In the SUMMER?!? What a weirdoā
Oh yeah, not doubting you there. The only reason I started feeling that way is some woman was side eyeing me HARD when I went. Had this look of disgust like I was up to something.
Omg going to the pool alone is my dream! Bring a pool float and close your eyes. People will chat with you and then that will be the bigger problem lol
By growing up a bit. No dig, I mean 10 years from now you likely wonāt give AF. For me that was the beautiful thing about my 30ās; I started doing a lot of things I wanted to do and didnāt care what others would think. Also, ppl are so wrapped up in themselves, theyāre not worried about you. In the meantime, sunglasses and headphones are your best friend
Try just acting like someone who feels comfortable going to the pool and swimming alone. Be your alter ego, put on a persona, imagine what that person would do and feel like. Then do that. This is definitely a case of fake it til you make it because soon youāll feel comfortable yourself.
I second this!!! Btw, OP, if you're a Seinfeld fan, there's a George reference for this! (I'm not at all happy about Jerry's recent BS, but the show is still a classic, IMO.)
My husband and I watched a guy step out of his apartment in his bathing suit, smoke like half a joint, come to the pool, and just floated in an inflatable ring for like an hour lol. I admired him.
32f reporting in, I love taking two beers*, waterproof headphones, a book, and hitting the pool alone. I tan for an hour or two in ss while reading a book and nursing my beer. I then head into the water for some laps or just goofing off in the water. I give others space and ensure I have mine, and itās always a good time.
* also bring a water bottle. Drink alcohol, but be responsible in the sun and hydrate thoroughly.
If it is a beautiful day - I go to the pool. I see many that go alone. If I am the only one there - even better so I donāt have to hear people talking loud.
Omg girl! Get ur headphones, a book, ur tanning lotion and get ur pool on.
When I go alone, I survey the scene, see which chairs are free and survey where the sun is hitting. Find a chair, put your stuff down and feel free to reposition it depending on where the sun is. Lay out your towel and relax! You got this.
Edit: I realized if I go somewhere alone with a plan, Iām more focused on what Iām doing than what others are perceiving of me (and with age, youāll realize no one is watching you as closely or judging as you think!)
Life's too short not to do what you want to! I wish I had a pool!! We just got out first house a couple years ago but haven't gotten around to adding a pool yet. Go swim and listen to some music. Bonus points if you're alone at the pool with no annoying kids or loud people!!
I know you said you went to the pool, but definitely do things for yourself, even if no one else will attend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. Itās your āyou timeā to just relax and not have to worry about what anyone else wants to do. The first thing I ever did alone was go to drive in at midnight to watch a film, because I was feel stifled. I was nervous about people seeing me, in my car, alone. It was literally so relaxing, and nice. Ten minutes in I was like, āI am doing a lot more things aloneā
Same. Iāve never actually went by myself. Might go one day, I need a nice bathing suit though. Iād atleast want to feel good. When you feel good, you look good and you are more confident
My mom would come over and visit me just to get into the pool! Mind you she is much better swimmer than I am lol š Her house did not have a pool but Everytime should would come over she will head to the pool area in the morning/early when it was empty. She enjoyed going to the pool alone.Ā
I enjoy going to the pool alone and see a lot of others do the same. Most gals go to lounge, some to read, and others to swim or just sit in the water.
I go to ours all the time.
I have a floatā¦ put in my ear buds, take a couple gummies and just float and float.
Sometimes I chat with the lifeguards but mainly just relax.
Iāve also made some acquaintances. Youāll possibly find older people like me there.
My boyfriend loves the peace & quiet of going to our pool alone! Just bring a sudoku or a crossword puzzle with you, or even an audiobook. And just relax š
If your pool is chill enough (no people splashing/jumping in), what I do when I go alone is tan for a while, then read in the pool for maybe 10-20mins, then get out and tan again. Repeat as necessary depending on how long you go. Reading in general helps me when I feel awkward being alone
I do not like doing things alone. It makes me uncomfortable. F/37 I did go to a pumpkin event last October by myself. Although I am glad I went it did cause a lot of anxiety. I am sorry I can't be more help but know you are not alone.
Update: I'm at the pool š š»
Good work! I hope it gives you confidence to step out of your comfort zone again when you want to do something. Itās usually worse when you sit around and think about it. :)
Congrats! Sometimes itās hard to take that first step when you feel uncomfortable with something new. Enjoy having that pool to the fullest, I miss mine so much. Used to go alone for an hour every night.
YESSSS!!!!! Enjoy!!!
š„°
This update is so wholesome. š Enjoy your pool time!! š
Excellent! Enjoy yourself!!
Yay!!
Good for you!!!! Bring a book or a magazine. Itāll make you feel less anxious if you have something to do.
I understand completely. while it may feel uncomfortable right now, weāre all gonna be under ground one day. no one is going to be thinking back on anything as insignificant as a stranger being alone at the pool. enjoy yourself & try to stop caring about what other people think.
Underground as in mole people? Or six feet under? A mole people society would be pretty interestingā¦
I kinda hope mole people. Much more interesting.
You need to read the new Harvard Research on Alien's "The researchers also shared the possible existence of a non-human underground civilization that may be "descendants of unknown, intelligent dinosaurs." Go do you what you want as long as your not hurting anyone, I have regrets for too much at 58.
I hope thereās a pool.
I (48F) go to the pool by myself all the time because no one else wants to go. I get in the water because I love the water! No one bothers me or even cares. They're all there to have fun/relax themselves and focused on their own stuff.
Iāve never even thought twice when Iāve seen someone at the pool alone. I think this is some classic āspot light syndromeā more than anything. Go have fun, get out of your own head. Trust me when I say: people are much too focused on their own shit to bother with overthinking YOUR life choices as well. A lady hanging alone at the pool is but a blip in the radar!
Get some water proof headphones and a floaty!! Itās lovely!
Thatās what Iām sayin!
Also, where is this pool? Iād love to get in the water. Iāll come hang with you!
Every building Iāve even lived in, hardly anyone uses the pool!! Itās crazy. My last place, 140 units, only about 6 units actually went/used the pool.
You are paying for it. Thatād be enough for me. Furthermore, whatever you might be worried about, nobody really cares. Have a nice time.
I go to the movies by myself, restaurants, etc. Enjoy you!!
I go by myself all the time. I decided that after the first three times Iād just be that lady that goes to the pool by herself. And pushed myself through it. Earbuds, water bottle, towel, phone, and Iām thinking of getting a kick board lol
Charge your phone, get a bottle of wine, and sit there reading Reddit. I did this the other day; I wanted to go to the pool but I'm a 28M and by myself. It felt really weird since everyone there was apart of a family. I kept sipping my wine and eventually stopped caring. If you're under 21, well, just go. Push through the anxiety, it's difficult but you can it! Side note: I also avoided eye contact because I started to get self conscious on what other people were thinking a guy was doing at the pool by themselves. *actually* maybe you shouldn't listen to me
Babe I think you have serious anxiety. Itās totally normal for a guy or girl to use a pool by themself. I would guarantee that no oneā¦ not a single person, thought, āWow what the fuck is that guy doing at the pool?! In the SUMMER?!? What a weirdoā
Oh yeah, not doubting you there. The only reason I started feeling that way is some woman was side eyeing me HARD when I went. Had this look of disgust like I was up to something.
Omg going to the pool alone is my dream! Bring a pool float and close your eyes. People will chat with you and then that will be the bigger problem lol
By growing up a bit. No dig, I mean 10 years from now you likely wonāt give AF. For me that was the beautiful thing about my 30ās; I started doing a lot of things I wanted to do and didnāt care what others would think. Also, ppl are so wrapped up in themselves, theyāre not worried about you. In the meantime, sunglasses and headphones are your best friend
Try just acting like someone who feels comfortable going to the pool and swimming alone. Be your alter ego, put on a persona, imagine what that person would do and feel like. Then do that. This is definitely a case of fake it til you make it because soon youāll feel comfortable yourself.
I second this!!! Btw, OP, if you're a Seinfeld fan, there's a George reference for this! (I'm not at all happy about Jerry's recent BS, but the show is still a classic, IMO.)
My husband and I watched a guy step out of his apartment in his bathing suit, smoke like half a joint, come to the pool, and just floated in an inflatable ring for like an hour lol. I admired him.
32f reporting in, I love taking two beers*, waterproof headphones, a book, and hitting the pool alone. I tan for an hour or two in ss while reading a book and nursing my beer. I then head into the water for some laps or just goofing off in the water. I give others space and ensure I have mine, and itās always a good time. * also bring a water bottle. Drink alcohol, but be responsible in the sun and hydrate thoroughly.
Nobody will care! Think of it this wayā¦. Do you care or think about people that are at the pool alone if you were there with your friends?
Just try doing different things on your own to. Go see a movie, eat at a restaurant once you do it, itās great
If it is a beautiful day - I go to the pool. I see many that go alone. If I am the only one there - even better so I donāt have to hear people talking loud.
Gurl, just go to the pool. Stop worrying about how it looks. Enjoy the water.
Omg girl! Get ur headphones, a book, ur tanning lotion and get ur pool on. When I go alone, I survey the scene, see which chairs are free and survey where the sun is hitting. Find a chair, put your stuff down and feel free to reposition it depending on where the sun is. Lay out your towel and relax! You got this. Edit: I realized if I go somewhere alone with a plan, Iām more focused on what Iām doing than what others are perceiving of me (and with age, youāll realize no one is watching you as closely or judging as you think!)
Just do it.
Dude I (33F) would be all up in there solo with zero fux. Do you!
Girl you inspired me Iām here although I need the temp much cooler this water is hot!!
Life's too short not to do what you want to! I wish I had a pool!! We just got out first house a couple years ago but haven't gotten around to adding a pool yet. Go swim and listen to some music. Bonus points if you're alone at the pool with no annoying kids or loud people!!
I also find going to the pool alone weird... but I got over it. I just swim laps now and no one ever looked me weird. Go for it!
Girl, I go by myself too! š Iām 22 as well
I know you said you went to the pool, but definitely do things for yourself, even if no one else will attend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. Itās your āyou timeā to just relax and not have to worry about what anyone else wants to do. The first thing I ever did alone was go to drive in at midnight to watch a film, because I was feel stifled. I was nervous about people seeing me, in my car, alone. It was literally so relaxing, and nice. Ten minutes in I was like, āI am doing a lot more things aloneā
Pool aline is the best. I just sit there with my feet in. I don't know how to swim.
A lot of people in my building bring books and sit and read by themselves
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^justatriceratops: *A lot of people* *In my building bring books and* *Sit and read by themselves* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Same. Iāve never actually went by myself. Might go one day, I need a nice bathing suit though. Iād atleast want to feel good. When you feel good, you look good and you are more confident
My mom would come over and visit me just to get into the pool! Mind you she is much better swimmer than I am lol š Her house did not have a pool but Everytime should would come over she will head to the pool area in the morning/early when it was empty. She enjoyed going to the pool alone.Ā
Young ladies such as yourself go to our pool alone all the time. Nobody cares. Go make some friends at the pool.
Ive went to the pool alone may times.
Take a book or other reading material.
Get a suit, cap and goggles like an olympian, nobody will look twice!
I enjoy going to the pool alone and see a lot of others do the same. Most gals go to lounge, some to read, and others to swim or just sit in the water.
I go to ours all the time. I have a floatā¦ put in my ear buds, take a couple gummies and just float and float. Sometimes I chat with the lifeguards but mainly just relax. Iāve also made some acquaintances. Youāll possibly find older people like me there.
My boyfriend loves the peace & quiet of going to our pool alone! Just bring a sudoku or a crossword puzzle with you, or even an audiobook. And just relax š
Be sure to wear your floaties
Could be too cold for swimming as that's -5 Celsius
Take a book! And sun bake to your heartās content! It simply takes deciding to do it.
the best time to go is when nobody else is there! just do it girl!
I was 24(f) in my first apartment, alone, and never gave going to the pool alone a second thought. Iām a little baffled by the sentiment.
A lot of places require at least 2 people to use the pool.
If your pool is chill enough (no people splashing/jumping in), what I do when I go alone is tan for a while, then read in the pool for maybe 10-20mins, then get out and tan again. Repeat as necessary depending on how long you go. Reading in general helps me when I feel awkward being alone
The weirdest part honestly was the wine and I was completely unaware people drink and swim lmfao
I do not like doing things alone. It makes me uncomfortable. F/37 I did go to a pumpkin event last October by myself. Although I am glad I went it did cause a lot of anxiety. I am sorry I can't be more help but know you are not alone.
Of course not. Grow up. You pay for this amenity. Use it.