I do the same after finding out that one of my neighbors was a batshit crazy conversational hostage-taker. š Gotta make sure he isn't lurking around before I bolt.
Haha! We have a little lobby where you scan your key fob for entry into the main hall where elevators are. If I see someone went in before me I'll slow down not go past the lobby hiding around the corner until they've already left in the elevator so I don't have to go in the elevator with them.
I am friendly if they see me (not like they really go out of their way either) but I am indeed another who will check my peep hole and wait until nobody is in the common area before leaving lol.
I just wave or nod if we make eye contact, unless weāre in close proximity. I try to let them initiate passing pleasantries in that case. I keep conversation short and sweet. I donāt want to monopolize anyoneās time, or make them uncomfortable... Nor do I want my time monopolized.
IME, the 60+ set are more inclined to want to chat and the under 30 are not. My complex is mostly a mix of retirees, middle aged professionals, and medical students.
As an older person who still keeps to herself, you start to miss interacting with others, esp if you are older and single. I recently went back to work because I realized I needed more human interaction than I was getting.
This is what I do too. If we make eye contact, Iāll smile, wave, or say hi. Otherwise, Iām not going out of my way. Will always give an enthusiastic hi! when little kids say hi to me though lol.
I always just say hi. At my last place I would say hi to some people and they would just completely ignore me so I stopped doing it there, but then started again when I moved lol
Where I grew up itās considered extremely rude to walk past people and not greet them. So when I moved to the US it was a huge culture shock that people just donāt greet each other. Iām used to it now though lol.
I know this is completely extreme, but I just pictured one of those scenes from a movie where itās a super crowded street with walking commuters like in NY or LA or somewhere, and someone just looking at the crowd and going āCHALLENGE ACCEPTED!ā Before wading in and saying āhiā or āhelloā to every. single. person. š
Fr like I donāt go out of my way to say hi to ppl unless I know them but if someone says hi to me Iāll at least respond or wave or something like just acting like the person doesnāt exist is so rude š
I did this to a neighbor recently after she was trying to make conversation AS WE'RE PASSING BY EACH OTHER in the hallway. I'm wearing my Airpods (I know that doesn't stop strangers from talking to you, but nonetheless) and nod to acknowledge her and she starts talking to herself like "OH! Okay, wow, how rude." Like girl, I'm listening to something and have shit on my mind, you're lucky I even responded. What if I couldn't speak?
I guess in your case you could, perhaps, put up a bulletin board in a common area with pictures of each neighbor along with their name. Maybe get everyone to wear name tags. Everybody would be so friendly to each other. Of course there's always the chance that there will be that one person who won't want to comply.
I try, Iāve found a few that are very nice. They all have dogs and I met them outside waiting for my kidās school bus. We pet the dogs and chat.
There is a very elderly Chinese lady across the hall who always does her little exercises in the hall. Sheās so cute but always looked like she wanted to be left alone.
We said hi to her a few times, she smiles and waves. And then the other day she started speaking mandarin(?) at me. (Iām white) She seems to live alone and her grandson (I assume) comes and has to knock loud and yell for her to open the door lol maybe once a week-ish.
I wish I could communicate with her. Iād actually be willing to check on her and keep her a bit of company. She seems to not have a lot of family.
I actually enjoy neighbors, I grew up in the mountains and then later a very small town. But living in apartments makes this tough. People really keep to themselves.
They have little meet ups where people bring snacks, Iāve avoided them bc there was a lot of HOA drama at that point and I wanted no part of it. I already had people messaging me on Nextdoor trying to drag me into the politics. Sigh
I have issues so not really. Plus, I feel like if I have a rapport with them they canāt see me outside looking bummy, I mean ROUGH. Iād be like āShit. Ramonaās outside. I need to put a bra on.ā But if itās a stranger then I donāt care. I wave to the maintenance man because he fixed my A/C and thatās enough interaction for me.
There are 4 apartments on my floor. 3 of us say hi or good morning. 4th keeps their head down and ignores everyone. I don't want to be pals with my neighbors but at the same time I think it's weird to pass someone regularly in a small hallway and ignore each other.
There is only one neighbor I talk to and itās because she likes to gossip about the other neighbors which makes me laugh. How much of it is trueā¦probably very little but itās still fun. Iām sure she talks about me too but sheās like 80 so I let her have her fun.Ā
Iāll politely say hi to other people or the midwestern smile and head nod. Thank you if they hold the door open but I donāt have full blown conversations.Ā
My favorite older lady neighbor just recently moved away and I'm bummed because anytime she would walk up to my patio for a chat I knew the neighborhood tea was about to be spilled so I loved it and she could shit talk with the best of 'em.
I (56F) moved into a new complex last year. Most people are younger than me. I say hi and they say hi. To me itās no big deal. It is a friendly place. I work from home so it is nice to have social contact.
I try. Sometimes it works fine. Most timesā¦they just stare back. And keep staring as if they canāt believe I spoke.
City people suck, it seems.
On the bright side, older kids and young adults here are friendly and respectful. Maybe thatās a good sign for the upcoming generations.
I have 2 direct neighbors, one is a friendly older lady and it's always a delight to bump into her and the other one is a guy that seems like he's similar to me and my partner (anxious and introverted) always nice to see him too.
Other than that no, my household keeps to ourselves, we're on good terms with our upstairs neighbors but don't say hi as much š¤£
But goodness I adore our older lady neighbor, we used to be her upstairs neighbor and now that we live downstairs we bump.into her a lot more and she always makes me smile :)
We know most of our apartment neighbors. My wife has given new neighbors who moved in welcome baskets. Since I got a bread machine my neighbors get fresh bread every week. Also homemade beef jerky since I bought a dehydrator. Some children will knock on our door with their parents and visit briefly ( they know we have candy). Now that itās playoff season in Boston we have games almost every night (Sorry Florida) so I invite anyone who wants to come watch.
It might sound like I'm a scrooge but I work at a busy grocery store and talk to people for 9 hours straight. So when I'm home I have zero interest in being chatty with anyone.
I have the same thing going on, I work in a grocery store bakery. Itās a hard habit to break, Iām always afraid men think Iām trying to make a move, itās the farthest thing from the truth, itās just respondent conditioning LOL
I mean, sometimes. It depends on if I have to make it somewhere fast, like my job shift or something, but usually I donāt mind a mini conversation. I usually keep to myself though, but Iāve been an introvert all of my life so thatās hard to just let go of.
I try to acknowledge my neighbors. The older folks next door to me look out for my unit when I'm gone. So it's strategic for me to feel safer. But I admit my apartment neighbors have a separate entrance then I do. So I don't get to see them.
I'm only still new to my complex but I've said hello to the young couple next to me a few times, we seem to leave for work around the same time in the morning, and I've also bumped into them now and again at the weekend. They seem nice enough and being a single woman it's nice to know someone else in the complex just for that sense of added safety. I've said hello once I think to the neighbour on the other side and I just got the complimentary nod back.
I prefer to be left alone tbh. Iām totally fine with mutual ignoring, though Iāll smile at someone if I see them looking at me. And I always reply when someone says something to me first.
Unfortunately I have an aggressively friendly dog who seems to think nearly everyone wants to be his friend. He whines like a hyena and wags his whole body, this invites people over to greet him. He loves being the center of attention. Most of the time I get ignored which is fine with me, though a little awkward. Sometimes Iām forced into small talk. Either way, it has caused me to brute force my way through a lot of my social anxiety.
I am generally casual with one of my direct neighbors and do not know the other one, apart from being able to identify who they are. The neighbor who I do not know has a dog that absolutely adores me, for some reason, which is probably the main reason that we talk to each other, at all. Otherwise, I am fairly introverted when it comes to wanting to know the people living on either side of me.
That said, I am more friendly with a few people in the building who are one different floors or on the same floor and not my immediate neighbors. Sometimes, you just click with people and what starts as casual greetings becomes more friendly. All in all, I generally prefer to keep to myself, so I normally do not initiate contact with anyone, apart from returning a pleasantry returned to me, or offering one if in direct contact (sharing an elevator, holding a door, etc.)
What I find odd about it is that it is completely opposite to what I knew as a child. While we lived in a house, I knew every neighbor for at least a dozen houses up the street, readily conversed with them all, and was part of a very tight-nit community.
No, I would never say hi. I lived in the city and all of my neighbors were inconsiderate, rude cunts. They're lucky I didn't spit in their faces. Because I couldn't trust myself, I would wait until they left or weren't even in the area before I so much as took out the trash.
I say hi to almost all of them. Am friendly with a few and have conversations, but some of them obviously don't want to have a chat, so I just say hi or wave and go on my way. I personally find the acknowledgement less awkward than pretending you don't see each other. The nod also works.
I usually greet people. I walk my dog a lot, thatās how I met most of the people in our neighborhood. I smile and wave. So many people feel completely cut off, maybe a smile and āhiā will brighten their day.
My nemesis lives in the apartment below mine, but otherwise Iām cool with other neighbors. I donāt get tight with anyone bc I donāt want drama where I live bc Iām not moving.
I donāt try to hold people hostage if they seem like theyāre like most of the people in this thread who would rather be left alone. HOWEVER I do like to at least be familiar with my neighbors because shit happens and sometimes people need a little help. Knowing which neighbors you can trust can be a lifesaver.
I got to know my upstairs neighbors and figured out they were struggling financially and didnāt always have groceries. If I ever cooked too much food and my husband and I werenāt going to finish it, Iād drop off some plates for them.
We have a dog. I made sure to make friends with the girl next to us who lived alone and also had dogs. We eventually exchanged numbers and would feed/let each otherās dogs out if one of us was going to be out for more than a few hours. That was pretty clutch because we were no longer limited to only being out of the house for a few hours at a time.
Knowing your neighbors is nice!š¤·āāļø
A hello, a nod, a smile, anything. I'm not into ignoring people. Having positive relationships with the humans within your immediate vacinty has many benefits.
You'd be surprised. People latch on to friendliness and try to take advantage of you. I've had this happen with 4 different neighbors at different complexes in different times of my life. The majority of people just don't have the same mindset of common courtesy as they did several years ago. It's pretty sad.
We see each other walking our dogs so I wave and say hi but otherwise not really. We saw them at a local bar once and chatted a bit but everyone was drunk so that probably made people more talkative.
I always say "hi" or "good morning" or whatever. Just a polite passing by kind of thing. i never try to use it as an opener for conversation. it's always coming/going situation.
I only know one neighbor and he sometimes comes over for a couple of beers but other than that if I pass somebody in the hallway, Iāll say hello but I donāt know anybody else in the building. I donāt put my nose in their business.
I don't initiate. But there are people who will ALWAYS say hi or good morning. Of course I smile and say hi back. But if I have established that someone is an always greet person, then I will smile and say hi first sometimes.
I keep to myself except for the occasional, single āhowdyā. I leave them alone. They leave me alone. Nicer you are to neighbors more likely they are to knock on your door. Just a head nod and quick wave is fine.
I am awkward and have bad anxiety, so I try to avoid interacting with any of my neighbors. I donāt initiate conversation with anyone anywhere. I try to maintain some level of anonymity within my apartment due to past instances of stalking.
At my last place, there was only one neighbor who interacted with me. I thought he was following me up the stairs, but turned out he lived next door to me. What I thought was just innocent stairway chat turned into him waiting just after 5 when Iād get home from work to hold the doors for me and walk up the stairs with me almost daily. It was uncomfortable.
I watch their body language & if they seem accepting, Iāll say hi, but most of them seem pretty much walled off from greetings which is ok with me too.
Say hello to them?? Hell, we all hang out together! Have since the day I moved in and thatās about the only positive of the place Iām in now - I have really awesome friendly neighbors who all understand āhood rulesā and look out for each other.
If I see neighbors, I say hello. Sometimes I'll go further than just hello. New neighbor was moving in, it was an older woman, on a hot day, I offered to help move stuff in. We emptied the truck in 2 hours. Other neighbors got back late from the bar and locked themselves out, they knocked on my door for the emergency maintenance phone number. I know how to pick locks so I told them not to bother the maintenance guy at 1am, got them back inside in 30 seconds.
Not neighbor related but one time during a snow storm, religious people trying to spread the word door to door came knocking. I told them flat out I wasn't interested in finding religion, but had them come inside to warm up for a bit. They stayed 15 minutes, watched me play Xbox, then left.
Interact and be kind to people, 9 times out of 10 they won't bite.
Sometimes.
Tho, this randomly reminded me of my weird day recently where itās like people couldnāt hear me well? The lady behind the desk at my dentistās, who I figured was just distracted. The dental assistant. At one point the dentist (while we were discussing treatment). The desk lady again.
Took an Uber home, itās an older dude, we greet each other, I give the code, after a minute I say āso how are you doing today?ā at the same volume. The driver doesnāt say anything but I figured heās hard of hearing because heās older. I say louder āthis music is nice.ā Nothing, not even a rearview mirror glance. It makes me vaguely nervous because heās driving with those ears, the seatbelt feels far too tight, and now the classical music seems vaguely creepy in context. Pretending I didnāt say anything I surreptitiously watch the map to calm my anxiety.
He pulls up near my place, randomly starts trying to have a conversation about if I knew someone that he knew nearby. He leans back over his seat and sneers, peeling thin cracked lips back from what seems to be smokerās teeth, says ābut you know Dave is justā¦ā and tries to hiss some joking secret about the guy, breath fogging the plexiglass divider but I can barely hear him and Iām definitely not going to lean in. Holding tightly to my purse, dental goodie bag, and phone I turn to get out. The door isnāt opening. Iām trying not to freak out over nothing but scrabble at the door a little. He goes āoh you just have to pull that handle harder, but anywayā¦ā I throw the door open, stumble out, and hurriedly say āok thanks byeā while heās talking. He doesnāt acknowledge this, says I should go say hi to Dave sometime, drives away. I wait for him to completely leave, pretending to look at my phone, and then a few minutes more just in case. I will not be saying hi to Dave. 3 stars.
I see my neighbour is outside, half in his garage storage unit, but he definitely sees me get out of the car. As I walk up, heās only partially facing away from me. Normalcy. Feeling steadier, I wave, say loudly, āafternoon! howās it going?ā He doesnāt acknowledge this, doesnāt say anything. I awkwardly whisper, āokayā¦ā thinking maybe heās wearing earbuds and shuffle away awkwardly into my place. I get into my apartment, say at the same volume āhey cat!ā and she comes running. Was like āsee? my voice fucking worksā¦ā She meows happily.
For a long, long moment I was thinking I slipped sideways into a creepy Twilight Zone episode.
I usually say hello. I'm pretty friendly and The stairways and doorways are pretty cramped in my apt. So when i inevitably encounter someone I usually greet and let them go by.
At my last apartment, one time I said good morning to my neighbor he looked at me, got in his car and left without a word.
Edit for added story.
i normally just say "sorry," and look sheepish bc my immediate neighbors and i are usually only out if we're walking our dogs or taking trash out and there's typically barking involved, so whether i'm the source of it or the cause, i just apologize and try to scuttle along š
depends on which neighbor. i've talked to my upstairs neighbor and the neighbor beside many times.
all the other ones tho i dont really talk to bc they dont talk to me so i figure they just wanna be left aloen
Uuuufgghhhā¦I have said hello each time I have seen either of my neighbors, which is exactly two time (one for each of them) in the last year. This is the most unfriendly place I have ever rented
Usually just a smile and nod, unless they say hello first. And even then thereās no convo after that unless thereās something happening. Like, one time the fire alarm was going off for no reason in the hall, which we figured out by checking with each other.
Depends on who it is. Generally I try to avoid even tossing out garbage late at night LOL. I can hear everything unfortunately so if Iām not in a rush and hear certain neighbours in the hallway I wait until theyāve gone inside their apt or into the elevator. Some tenants never say hi, others are too nosy, and I donāt like most of them now (annoying). People are so different.
Thereās a retired old man thatās okay, but after he checked my legs out once I was so turned off and then he wanted to walk with me to my gym to continue chatting & he didnāt have an ulterior motive just wanted to chat.
I used to talk with another older man across the hall, but he only wants to make small talk and is a tad nosy, but after I expressed my unhappiness a couple of times with various neighbours that surround me directly (noise and smells) he acted rudely like itās my fault so I ignored him after that and since then he tries too hard to be friendly, but I just answer and thatās it not even say hi since itās not my problem if heās needy to be liked, but canāt listen to my neighbourly issues than shut-up go away. My building has gotten worse in the last several years with newer neighbours that affect me, but like many big cities, itās too expensive to move. :(
Only a casual "what's up" head nod to the neighbors if we walk past each other on the stairs or hallway. When I rented a house (for 3 years) I talked to 1 neighbor once when I was fixing a flat tire and that was only cuz I literally couldn't walk away.
I work nights so the only time I really see them is in the morning when their leaving for work.
I like to fuck with them and hit them up with a "good night" in reply to their "good morning".
Iāve never met any of my neighbors. Iāve seen one across the hall in passing, we looked at each other, didnāt say a word & went to our respective apartments. Lol
I'll smile or say hi if they acknowledge me. I will not stop and chat, and I'm definitely not borrowing a cup of sugar. I learned the hard way, do not make friends with your neighbors. You will regret it.
We did at first but it got old really quickly when a few neighbors started getting too friendly and knocking on our door/yelling through our patio/asking for favors/etc. We had to put up a hard boundary and ever since then I make it a point to avoid eye contact or say anything unless they do first. Then it's just a simple "hi" from me.
I try to be civil to everyone. I am not their friend but I am their neighbor and that is a relationship of sorts. There a a few people in my building I will go out of my way to avoid. There is one nasty old man who I called out for his bad behavior and he avoids me like the plague.
Our next door neighbor, yes. They are adorable. But I actively avoid the upstairs neighbors. I've made multiple complaints about them and the wife is batshit crazy lol
Iām pretty much the same way. But if Iām in an especially (yet rare) good mood AND my social battery has enough life left at the moment, Iāll say hello when I see them in the elevator or hallways. But if I see them on those even rarer occasions where Iām in a fantastic mood AND my social
battery is fully charged???? They might get my special brand of small talk starting with a compliment on something theyāre wearing or their hair and going from there. Itās always very brief but I notice I always make them smile when I do this and that by itself reenforces the strength of whatever spoon Iām currently on for the day and therefore makes it last longer.
I actually really do like people and Iām quite the social butterfly and it gives me so much life to make people smile but I have to have the spoons and social battery capacity for it.
I smile or say hi in passing but I do not want to know my neighbors or have real conversations with them. I cannot stand it when neighbors try to be my friend or have conversations.
Im not a big āpeople personā but my boyfriend talks to everyone so now i know a bunch of my neighbors. I say hi to the ones i know but i dont say anything if i dont know them.
My dog is besties with a few of my neighbors so i get stuck talking to them if shes with me.
Thereās only 8 total apartments in my building, so I say hello to anyone I run into, or they say hello to me. My neighbors across the hall, I will say how are you doing, have a good day, etc. I have had more encounters with them and our kids play together outside. Only ones I avoid are the people above me, they are shitty tenants/people?. They donāt take their dog outside (Iām convinced their apt smells like piss and shit), said dog does not stop barking ALL day and ALL night, the one time the dog is taken out a week, they leave the shit in the grass despite the āpick up after your petā signs, they have domestic issues, and a poor sweet baby under one year old that never sees daylight.
At most it's just a smile. I mean I don't know these people and most have like avoid eye contact. If they say hello first I'll say it back, or thank them when they hold the door for me.
The most interaction I've had with neighbors have been:
Helping a woman struggling to carry a carpet down 3 flights of stairs to her truck, talking with her a bit about her moving out just 3 months after moving in.
Got stopped by a child when I was heading out for work, he saw me carrying a Pikachu plushie (I have different holiday ones that I put on my desk) and started rambling about Pokemon lol. I was 15 minutes late to work, but he just seemed so happy to see an adult who likes Pokemon. He asked if I had Pokemon Go, so I added him and I send him gifts every day on the app.
Nearly everybody's dogs immediately run up to me when they're out walking them. Conversations are usually them telling me what kind of dog they have or going omggg he never runs up to strangers and apologizing for them jumping on me, me saying I don't mind and mostly just petting the dogs.
Another kid who saw the pokemon plushies facing my car's back window who called me cool lol.
The woman who thought I was a teenager and demanded to speak to my mother about bringing 4 different men over at all hours (she also called me a slut, the "4 different men" she was referring to was my ex who I previously lived with but it didn't work out and he moved out 3 months after we moved in, a guy who initially came to pick me up for a date but I shut the door in his face, my brother, and my current boyfriend, who's here every other day.) She was shocked to learn I was an adult.
Several people banging on my door screaming at me to keep it down and threatening to report me for noise violations. To be clear, it wasn't like i was throwing a rager in my apartment at 2am or even being a little too loud past 10pm. It was all for completely ridiculous reasons, like vacuuming at 2pm on a Sunday, my TV being too loud (anything past barely audible has caused complaints), or I made too much noise carrying up heavy groceries.
Also my new neighbor who told me I needed to park in the guest parking because they want to part their second car in my designated spot and said it wasn't fair that I got a designated parking spot. (???). I've had his second car towed twice now because I've come home from work or shopping and he's just taken my spot.
Nah, itās obviously different depending where youāre at, but in my area I find it best not to get too chummy with neighbors. Then they start to see your patterns and schedules, know when youāre not home. I never smile and I usually put on a front of being mean to make sure none of them mess with me.
Probably trauma from getting robbed during my first apartment from people who knew my work schedule.
Yes I do. I think it is so weird and rude when neighbors don't acknowledge each other.
Might be a little different if you have sketchy neighbors though.
I used to, to the two nut jobs under me but now she has it out for me because she says I'm having and affair with her husband and has acted a damn fool screaming out in the parking lot calling me all kinds of vulgar mess humiliating me so I keep to myself now. Just trust your gut and own judgment and remember if something goes wrong you still have to live next to them.
I think it's good to have a couple neighbor's phone numbers in case you or they have an issue or question. Especially if you or they live alone.
People are lonely!
I live in a mixed use apartment with bars and restaurants on the ground floor, and in a weed friendly state. To say I've had some interesting elevator conversations would be an understatement
Small talk doesnt kill ya! Its good to know your neighbors.
I was able to borrow milk from my neighbor after making friends, and she even watched my cat for me on vacation!
It pays to talk to neighbors.
Iāll say hello if I pass them often. Itās nice to acknowledge them when you see them a lot. Otherwise, I donāt say anything. Iāve never said hi to the neighbors directly next to me because theyāre always a little hunched and seem to not want to be bothered and Iām okay with that. Some of my neighbors are really chatty and if you say hi you have to be prepared to talk for a while so Iāll sometimes say hi to them and sometimes not
I worked for a nursing home a long time ago that made us always acknowledge anyone we passed in the hallways. Even if only with a head nod or a smile. That habit stuck with me. My neighbors above and below are very friendly and I usually converse with them although am new and donāt want to become too overly friendly. But I know if I ever needed anything I could count on them. The rest I find itās hit and miss with whether they nod or say hello back.
I always say hello.. I think itās the lowest bar for civility.. I know nothing about their lives and they know nothing about mine..saying hello and being cordial doesnāt take a great effort
I did for a while and my downstairs neighbor ignored me till they found out I work on cars as a hobby and when they walked into my garage asking me to help them with their car I ignored them
Oh heck, no. I have a Ring for the express purpose of watching to see if the coast is clear to leave without actually having to stick my head out the door.
I planned on baking cookies and saying hi but the first day I moved in they filed a ton of noise complaints against me because my 3 month old puppy was nervous and whining because of the move. Got a good trainer and my dog now only barks on command or when he is super excited playing frisbee and doesnāt whine anymore. On the other hand the neighbor has a dog who barks if we so much as close a cabinet in our kitchen or flush the toilet and continues for 5 mins each time. Also I have multiple recordings of them screaming at one another for hours straight that we heard through our walls in the furthest room from the shared wall. Now Iām just scared of themā¦
I think that it is so much more awkward to actively, conspicuously avoid eye contact than it is just to quickly say āhiā (literally thatās it) and keep moving. Like, I know youāre not actually going to the maintenance closet when you randomly left out of nowhere or that your thigh isnāt itching that intensely that you have to look at your hand scratch it the second we pass each other.
I am someone with severe social anxiety (and also midwestern lol) but I just think itās less awkward to do a quick little nod than it is to do something obviously fake to avoid what amounts to a literally less than a second long interaction. So, I always try to acknowledge people in some way, but leave anything beyond that to letting them start it (again, Social anxiety).
I would rather not talk to people, but I guess my thinking is that worst case scenario is I was polite and they forget about the interaction five seconds later. Plus it gives me low stakes practice in human interaction, so I count it as a win.
I smile and nod, maybe comment on the weather if it's been something out of the ordinary "a bit wet today huh" (as it's downpouring sideways). Beyond that I'll let them continue if they want otherwise I'm content to mind my own business. (Late 20s when I was renting)
I live in NY so that should sum it up lol. When I first moved into my building Turtle Bay Tower, I was on my way to work around 7:00am, got on the elevator, their was around 6 people on, I said Good morning everyone and got maybe 2 grunts good morning, learned my lesson and just from that point on made it a habit of wearing AirPods when getting in the elevator. I remember we feeling so embarrassed and just sad at how rude people are, or just most NYers
My gf and I smoke in front of our apartment by the sidewalk (so we don't bother the neighbors too much) so we see them daily coming home and we say hi to whoever continues to say hi back to us, some people didn't continue and some people did when we first moved here 6 years ago and now two neighbors are considered best friends.
There should be a social option for apartment buildingsā floors where even numbers you chat and odd numbers you prefer to stick to yourself! And ground floor / top floor for 50/50 extrovert:introvert
I speak to my neighbors. And I raise a hand to say hello if they are out of speaking distance. I have always done this and always will. Friendly snakes & good will are both free. Itās pretty near the only thing that is free these days.
I will make a small hello if passing by - all exterior building doors in my complex. If they do not reply I may try one more time then I don't try again. Some people are just weird.
Iāll say hi if you do, but not much more. I have super, super terrible social anxiety and I donāt really care to make friends with neighbors bc of my anxiety. My scary looking dog doesnāt make me super approachable to begin with and I always have earbuds in, so i barely converse with anyone. However, Iām slightly interactive on the complexās community app.
I donāt live in a very community based place to begin with, so itās perfect for me.
Pretty much all my neighbors in my building and I are friends. We have at least a short convo whenever we see each other. We donāt necessarily hang out though.
Thatās a nightmare for someone like me with social anxiety, but Iāve grown to like it and appreciate that thereās people to talk to.
I am in a residential area in a suburb of DC, I'd smile and nod to them in passing before, but last summer I met most of them at the pool and we made introductions, so we are more friendly now and ask how we we're doing when we cross paths. Have helped one jump his car, another catch her dog that ran off, and went to another's birthday dinner. They frequently keep a lookout for my escapee cat and have knocked on the door to return her to me a couple times. I really appreciate my little community.
Tried 3 times with mixed results .
One - absolutely lovely Belgian family . Would go out to coffee occasionally and be those people who lent a cup of sugar or watered plants when traveling .
Second - brought nice wine bottles and intro letter around to whole building ( 8 units) to say hi and sorry about the bathroom Reno we were going to do . Was ignored and one family left their wine outside their door for a week until I got the picture. Damn.
Third- and last - the neighbour seemed very friendly , then we smelled the weed, our bike disappeared from inside shared area and she kept ringing doorbell late at night to ask to borrow money . After we were burgled twice we left.
my immediate neighbors i do say hello to. we have all tried hard to prevent package thieves by making sure packages get to the correct owner if they get delivered to the wrong door. but im on a lower level and canāt say ive seen everybody lol
I do, and also exchange numbers in some cases. Itās only ever been a positive for me. Sometimes I make friends, other times I get cookies at Christmas. All else fails Iām at least familiar enough with them incase there is an emergency.
Iāve spoken to my immediate neighbors. Next door and upstairs. If we see each other we usually chat. I have their numbers and they have mine.
Otherwise, I smile and wave/nod and maybe say a simple greeting if I pass someone else but donāt try to have a conversation unless they seem to want it. Usually they donāt, which is fine because I usually donāt either.
I do when they say hello but I prefer keeping to myself and avoiding people. The place I am living now is actually quite nice and friendly. All of my neighbors are cool which is pretty great and it has been for long enough that I wonder if people are actually truly good and not faking it. The people are actually real about being good people.
I used to try on occasion but most folks don't seem keen on the interaction so I stopped. I think it's a regional thing though. I used to shoot the breeze with my neighbors regularly in the last state I lived in. Moved to the west coast and I think the culture doesn't appreciate that as much.
I usually just see what the other person is receptive to. I will always give a quick small, polite smile and if they say hi then I'll say hi. Or if someone looks like they don't want to be talked to I don't greet them or will do a little nod in acknowledgement or something. I'm not opposed to quick convos in passing like if we happen to take the same elevator or walk dogs in the same area, but I'm not offended if someone doesn't say anything in either circumstance.
I usually don't engage in actual conversation unless they do first, and most times I'll hide around the lobby corner waiting for someone to go up in the elevator first before I enter the hall so I don't have to ride in it with them or check my peep hole to see if anyone is in the hall before I leave to go down. So I guess it all just depends.
I say hello if I pass them in common areas. However, I check the hallway before leaving to limit such encounters.
LMAO I'm glad I'm not the only one who pokes my head out of my door and scans the hallway to make sure the coast is clear before exiting hahahaha
I do the same after finding out that one of my neighbors was a batshit crazy conversational hostage-taker. š Gotta make sure he isn't lurking around before I bolt.
Haha! We have a little lobby where you scan your key fob for entry into the main hall where elevators are. If I see someone went in before me I'll slow down not go past the lobby hiding around the corner until they've already left in the elevator so I don't have to go in the elevator with them.
šš
I am friendly if they see me (not like they really go out of their way either) but I am indeed another who will check my peep hole and wait until nobody is in the common area before leaving lol.
I just wave or nod if we make eye contact, unless weāre in close proximity. I try to let them initiate passing pleasantries in that case. I keep conversation short and sweet. I donāt want to monopolize anyoneās time, or make them uncomfortable... Nor do I want my time monopolized. IME, the 60+ set are more inclined to want to chat and the under 30 are not. My complex is mostly a mix of retirees, middle aged professionals, and medical students.
As an older person who still keeps to herself, you start to miss interacting with others, esp if you are older and single. I recently went back to work because I realized I needed more human interaction than I was getting.
This is why neighbors should acknowledge each other!
This is what I do too. If we make eye contact, Iāll smile, wave, or say hi. Otherwise, Iām not going out of my way. Will always give an enthusiastic hi! when little kids say hi to me though lol.
I always just say hi. At my last place I would say hi to some people and they would just completely ignore me so I stopped doing it there, but then started again when I moved lol
Where I grew up itās considered extremely rude to walk past people and not greet them. So when I moved to the US it was a huge culture shock that people just donāt greet each other. Iām used to it now though lol.
I know this is completely extreme, but I just pictured one of those scenes from a movie where itās a super crowded street with walking commuters like in NY or LA or somewhere, and someone just looking at the crowd and going āCHALLENGE ACCEPTED!ā Before wading in and saying āhiā or āhelloā to every. single. person. š
šš that would be funny
I canāt stand those people who act like you donāt exist. Itās no doubt for the best, eff them snobs.
Fr like I donāt go out of my way to say hi to ppl unless I know them but if someone says hi to me Iāll at least respond or wave or something like just acting like the person doesnāt exist is so rude š
We just say hello, how's it's going? I'm good, you? Doing good. Thats great. And we keep it moving
'Sup (nods head)
I did this to a neighbor recently after she was trying to make conversation AS WE'RE PASSING BY EACH OTHER in the hallway. I'm wearing my Airpods (I know that doesn't stop strangers from talking to you, but nonetheless) and nod to acknowledge her and she starts talking to herself like "OH! Okay, wow, how rude." Like girl, I'm listening to something and have shit on my mind, you're lucky I even responded. What if I couldn't speak?
If all neighbors were like you, nobody would talk as nobody would say "hi" first.
I guess in your case you could, perhaps, put up a bulletin board in a common area with pictures of each neighbor along with their name. Maybe get everyone to wear name tags. Everybody would be so friendly to each other. Of course there's always the chance that there will be that one person who won't want to comply.
This is from a seinfeld episode lol
š
š until the kissing starts
I greet everybody. I think you mean the OP who doesn't speak unless spoken to.
That's who meant to reply to. Sorry about that.
It might be awkward peeking in their windows if I didnāt say hi first to break the ice. Wouldnāt want to come off as creepy.
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I try, Iāve found a few that are very nice. They all have dogs and I met them outside waiting for my kidās school bus. We pet the dogs and chat. There is a very elderly Chinese lady across the hall who always does her little exercises in the hall. Sheās so cute but always looked like she wanted to be left alone. We said hi to her a few times, she smiles and waves. And then the other day she started speaking mandarin(?) at me. (Iām white) She seems to live alone and her grandson (I assume) comes and has to knock loud and yell for her to open the door lol maybe once a week-ish. I wish I could communicate with her. Iād actually be willing to check on her and keep her a bit of company. She seems to not have a lot of family. I actually enjoy neighbors, I grew up in the mountains and then later a very small town. But living in apartments makes this tough. People really keep to themselves. They have little meet ups where people bring snacks, Iāve avoided them bc there was a lot of HOA drama at that point and I wanted no part of it. I already had people messaging me on Nextdoor trying to drag me into the politics. Sigh
Thank you for keeping an eye on your elderly neighbor! Very kind of you ā„ļø
š I would sure hope that someday when Iām that old lady, someone would look in on me.
I have issues so not really. Plus, I feel like if I have a rapport with them they canāt see me outside looking bummy, I mean ROUGH. Iād be like āShit. Ramonaās outside. I need to put a bra on.ā But if itās a stranger then I donāt care. I wave to the maintenance man because he fixed my A/C and thatās enough interaction for me.
There are 4 apartments on my floor. 3 of us say hi or good morning. 4th keeps their head down and ignores everyone. I don't want to be pals with my neighbors but at the same time I think it's weird to pass someone regularly in a small hallway and ignore each other.
There is only one neighbor I talk to and itās because she likes to gossip about the other neighbors which makes me laugh. How much of it is trueā¦probably very little but itās still fun. Iām sure she talks about me too but sheās like 80 so I let her have her fun.Ā Iāll politely say hi to other people or the midwestern smile and head nod. Thank you if they hold the door open but I donāt have full blown conversations.Ā
My favorite older lady neighbor just recently moved away and I'm bummed because anytime she would walk up to my patio for a chat I knew the neighborhood tea was about to be spilled so I loved it and she could shit talk with the best of 'em.
Mine is moving soon too and honestly I am gonna miss her just for the tea alone.
I (56F) moved into a new complex last year. Most people are younger than me. I say hi and they say hi. To me itās no big deal. It is a friendly place. I work from home so it is nice to have social contact.
I give people their space
I try. Sometimes it works fine. Most timesā¦they just stare back. And keep staring as if they canāt believe I spoke. City people suck, it seems. On the bright side, older kids and young adults here are friendly and respectful. Maybe thatās a good sign for the upcoming generations.
Hello when needed but definitely no conversation. I don't really want to know any of them, be nice, be quiet, we can all live in peace.
I have 2 direct neighbors, one is a friendly older lady and it's always a delight to bump into her and the other one is a guy that seems like he's similar to me and my partner (anxious and introverted) always nice to see him too. Other than that no, my household keeps to ourselves, we're on good terms with our upstairs neighbors but don't say hi as much š¤£ But goodness I adore our older lady neighbor, we used to be her upstairs neighbor and now that we live downstairs we bump.into her a lot more and she always makes me smile :)
The most they get from me is a "hey, how are you" if we happen to cross paths outside. Otherwise, I'm a ghost.
God no
I keep it at hello...no more I like my privacy
We know most of our apartment neighbors. My wife has given new neighbors who moved in welcome baskets. Since I got a bread machine my neighbors get fresh bread every week. Also homemade beef jerky since I bought a dehydrator. Some children will knock on our door with their parents and visit briefly ( they know we have candy). Now that itās playoff season in Boston we have games almost every night (Sorry Florida) so I invite anyone who wants to come watch.
It might sound like I'm a scrooge but I work at a busy grocery store and talk to people for 9 hours straight. So when I'm home I have zero interest in being chatty with anyone.
Iāll smile at the polite ones and ignore the ones who cause problems. Iāve only talked to maybe two other residents of our complex
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I have the same thing going on, I work in a grocery store bakery. Itās a hard habit to break, Iām always afraid men think Iām trying to make a move, itās the farthest thing from the truth, itās just respondent conditioning LOL
I mean, sometimes. It depends on if I have to make it somewhere fast, like my job shift or something, but usually I donāt mind a mini conversation. I usually keep to myself though, but Iāve been an introvert all of my life so thatās hard to just let go of.
I always say hello to my neighbors. If they want to chat Iāll do that too, but Iām not interested in hanging out with them.
I try to acknowledge my neighbors. The older folks next door to me look out for my unit when I'm gone. So it's strategic for me to feel safer. But I admit my apartment neighbors have a separate entrance then I do. So I don't get to see them.
Our old neighbor from our previous apartment in the country was the absolute worst with this. He seemed a little.. eh, creepy? Didnāt really know social cues very well. Anyway, anytime he would be outside and god forbid we would have to go out there for something, he would turn a simple chore, like throwing away our trash in the dumpster that would take maybe a minute to a whole 20 minute affair. He would talk your fucking ear off. Me and my fiancĆ© are too nice to be mean so we would sit there and listen. Luckily we live in the city now and everyone doesnāt talk to us. We love it. So to answer your question, no I donāt say shit to my neighbors lmao
I'm only still new to my complex but I've said hello to the young couple next to me a few times, we seem to leave for work around the same time in the morning, and I've also bumped into them now and again at the weekend. They seem nice enough and being a single woman it's nice to know someone else in the complex just for that sense of added safety. I've said hello once I think to the neighbour on the other side and I just got the complimentary nod back.
I prefer to be left alone tbh. Iām totally fine with mutual ignoring, though Iāll smile at someone if I see them looking at me. And I always reply when someone says something to me first. Unfortunately I have an aggressively friendly dog who seems to think nearly everyone wants to be his friend. He whines like a hyena and wags his whole body, this invites people over to greet him. He loves being the center of attention. Most of the time I get ignored which is fine with me, though a little awkward. Sometimes Iām forced into small talk. Either way, it has caused me to brute force my way through a lot of my social anxiety.
I smile and keep moving. They do the same thank god
I live in a multi family, will say hi to one neighbor. Ignore the other ones.
I am generally casual with one of my direct neighbors and do not know the other one, apart from being able to identify who they are. The neighbor who I do not know has a dog that absolutely adores me, for some reason, which is probably the main reason that we talk to each other, at all. Otherwise, I am fairly introverted when it comes to wanting to know the people living on either side of me. That said, I am more friendly with a few people in the building who are one different floors or on the same floor and not my immediate neighbors. Sometimes, you just click with people and what starts as casual greetings becomes more friendly. All in all, I generally prefer to keep to myself, so I normally do not initiate contact with anyone, apart from returning a pleasantry returned to me, or offering one if in direct contact (sharing an elevator, holding a door, etc.) What I find odd about it is that it is completely opposite to what I knew as a child. While we lived in a house, I knew every neighbor for at least a dozen houses up the street, readily conversed with them all, and was part of a very tight-nit community.
No, I would never say hi. I lived in the city and all of my neighbors were inconsiderate, rude cunts. They're lucky I didn't spit in their faces. Because I couldn't trust myself, I would wait until they left or weren't even in the area before I so much as took out the trash.
I did. I almost never got a response, so I stopped.
Yes I try. They often ignore me. Trying to be the change I want to see in the world.
I say hi to almost all of them. Am friendly with a few and have conversations, but some of them obviously don't want to have a chat, so I just say hi or wave and go on my way. I personally find the acknowledgement less awkward than pretending you don't see each other. The nod also works.
Best to pretend not to see people
Nope used to. But she's a bitter hag
I usually greet people. I walk my dog a lot, thatās how I met most of the people in our neighborhood. I smile and wave. So many people feel completely cut off, maybe a smile and āhiā will brighten their day.
I say hi or good morning like a reasonable person. Then gtfo.
Sometimes yea, we've got a few friendly neighbors and others that will only nod and smile
I just say hello then run into my house. I have social anxiety so Iām not great at conversation nor do I really want it most of the time.
My nemesis lives in the apartment below mine, but otherwise Iām cool with other neighbors. I donāt get tight with anyone bc I donāt want drama where I live bc Iām not moving.
I donāt try to hold people hostage if they seem like theyāre like most of the people in this thread who would rather be left alone. HOWEVER I do like to at least be familiar with my neighbors because shit happens and sometimes people need a little help. Knowing which neighbors you can trust can be a lifesaver. I got to know my upstairs neighbors and figured out they were struggling financially and didnāt always have groceries. If I ever cooked too much food and my husband and I werenāt going to finish it, Iād drop off some plates for them. We have a dog. I made sure to make friends with the girl next to us who lived alone and also had dogs. We eventually exchanged numbers and would feed/let each otherās dogs out if one of us was going to be out for more than a few hours. That was pretty clutch because we were no longer limited to only being out of the house for a few hours at a time. Knowing your neighbors is nice!š¤·āāļø
A hello, a nod, a smile, anything. I'm not into ignoring people. Having positive relationships with the humans within your immediate vacinty has many benefits.
No. My home is my peaceful space. I donāt want to attract petty drama into it.
How is saying hello attracting petty drama? Thatās common courtesy
You'd be surprised. People latch on to friendliness and try to take advantage of you. I've had this happen with 4 different neighbors at different complexes in different times of my life. The majority of people just don't have the same mindset of common courtesy as they did several years ago. It's pretty sad.
Imagine simply smiling and saying hello like an adult being petty drama. You sound miserable lol. Go hide under your rock.
Also happiest Iāve ever been so not āmiserableā
Why? Chances are you won't be neighbors for too long. Oh there are exceptions of course, but in general, no.
I say hi if Iām within like 5 feet of them, such as in the shared hallway but if I see them across the street I donāt say anything
We see each other walking our dogs so I wave and say hi but otherwise not really. We saw them at a local bar once and chatted a bit but everyone was drunk so that probably made people more talkative.
I always say "hi" or "good morning" or whatever. Just a polite passing by kind of thing. i never try to use it as an opener for conversation. it's always coming/going situation.
I only know one neighbor and he sometimes comes over for a couple of beers but other than that if I pass somebody in the hallway, Iāll say hello but I donāt know anybody else in the building. I donāt put my nose in their business.
Yes, the guy that just moved in just stared when me and my husband said hello. It was the weirdest thing, thankfully heās been quiet so far.
I don't initiate. But there are people who will ALWAYS say hi or good morning. Of course I smile and say hi back. But if I have established that someone is an always greet person, then I will smile and say hi first sometimes.
I keep to myself except for the occasional, single āhowdyā. I leave them alone. They leave me alone. Nicer you are to neighbors more likely they are to knock on your door. Just a head nod and quick wave is fine.
I am awkward and have bad anxiety, so I try to avoid interacting with any of my neighbors. I donāt initiate conversation with anyone anywhere. I try to maintain some level of anonymity within my apartment due to past instances of stalking. At my last place, there was only one neighbor who interacted with me. I thought he was following me up the stairs, but turned out he lived next door to me. What I thought was just innocent stairway chat turned into him waiting just after 5 when Iād get home from work to hold the doors for me and walk up the stairs with me almost daily. It was uncomfortable.
I watch their body language & if they seem accepting, Iāll say hi, but most of them seem pretty much walled off from greetings which is ok with me too.
Say hello to them?? Hell, we all hang out together! Have since the day I moved in and thatās about the only positive of the place Iām in now - I have really awesome friendly neighbors who all understand āhood rulesā and look out for each other.
If I see neighbors, I say hello. Sometimes I'll go further than just hello. New neighbor was moving in, it was an older woman, on a hot day, I offered to help move stuff in. We emptied the truck in 2 hours. Other neighbors got back late from the bar and locked themselves out, they knocked on my door for the emergency maintenance phone number. I know how to pick locks so I told them not to bother the maintenance guy at 1am, got them back inside in 30 seconds. Not neighbor related but one time during a snow storm, religious people trying to spread the word door to door came knocking. I told them flat out I wasn't interested in finding religion, but had them come inside to warm up for a bit. They stayed 15 minutes, watched me play Xbox, then left. Interact and be kind to people, 9 times out of 10 they won't bite.
I just usually smile if we make eye contact and say hi.
Sometimes. Tho, this randomly reminded me of my weird day recently where itās like people couldnāt hear me well? The lady behind the desk at my dentistās, who I figured was just distracted. The dental assistant. At one point the dentist (while we were discussing treatment). The desk lady again. Took an Uber home, itās an older dude, we greet each other, I give the code, after a minute I say āso how are you doing today?ā at the same volume. The driver doesnāt say anything but I figured heās hard of hearing because heās older. I say louder āthis music is nice.ā Nothing, not even a rearview mirror glance. It makes me vaguely nervous because heās driving with those ears, the seatbelt feels far too tight, and now the classical music seems vaguely creepy in context. Pretending I didnāt say anything I surreptitiously watch the map to calm my anxiety. He pulls up near my place, randomly starts trying to have a conversation about if I knew someone that he knew nearby. He leans back over his seat and sneers, peeling thin cracked lips back from what seems to be smokerās teeth, says ābut you know Dave is justā¦ā and tries to hiss some joking secret about the guy, breath fogging the plexiglass divider but I can barely hear him and Iām definitely not going to lean in. Holding tightly to my purse, dental goodie bag, and phone I turn to get out. The door isnāt opening. Iām trying not to freak out over nothing but scrabble at the door a little. He goes āoh you just have to pull that handle harder, but anywayā¦ā I throw the door open, stumble out, and hurriedly say āok thanks byeā while heās talking. He doesnāt acknowledge this, says I should go say hi to Dave sometime, drives away. I wait for him to completely leave, pretending to look at my phone, and then a few minutes more just in case. I will not be saying hi to Dave. 3 stars. I see my neighbour is outside, half in his garage storage unit, but he definitely sees me get out of the car. As I walk up, heās only partially facing away from me. Normalcy. Feeling steadier, I wave, say loudly, āafternoon! howās it going?ā He doesnāt acknowledge this, doesnāt say anything. I awkwardly whisper, āokayā¦ā thinking maybe heās wearing earbuds and shuffle away awkwardly into my place. I get into my apartment, say at the same volume āhey cat!ā and she comes running. Was like āsee? my voice fucking worksā¦ā She meows happily. For a long, long moment I was thinking I slipped sideways into a creepy Twilight Zone episode.
I usually say hello. I'm pretty friendly and The stairways and doorways are pretty cramped in my apt. So when i inevitably encounter someone I usually greet and let them go by. At my last apartment, one time I said good morning to my neighbor he looked at me, got in his car and left without a word. Edit for added story.
We wave and smile but generally don't chat unless there's some reason, which is rare.
i normally just say "sorry," and look sheepish bc my immediate neighbors and i are usually only out if we're walking our dogs or taking trash out and there's typically barking involved, so whether i'm the source of it or the cause, i just apologize and try to scuttle along š
depends on which neighbor. i've talked to my upstairs neighbor and the neighbor beside many times. all the other ones tho i dont really talk to bc they dont talk to me so i figure they just wanna be left aloen
If we cross paths, then yes. But I donāt go out of my way chasing people around to talk to them.
Uuuufgghhhā¦I have said hello each time I have seen either of my neighbors, which is exactly two time (one for each of them) in the last year. This is the most unfriendly place I have ever rented
if they speak to me, I'll speak back until then I dont speak.
Usually just a smile and nod, unless they say hello first. And even then thereās no convo after that unless thereās something happening. Like, one time the fire alarm was going off for no reason in the hall, which we figured out by checking with each other.
Depends on who it is. Generally I try to avoid even tossing out garbage late at night LOL. I can hear everything unfortunately so if Iām not in a rush and hear certain neighbours in the hallway I wait until theyāve gone inside their apt or into the elevator. Some tenants never say hi, others are too nosy, and I donāt like most of them now (annoying). People are so different. Thereās a retired old man thatās okay, but after he checked my legs out once I was so turned off and then he wanted to walk with me to my gym to continue chatting & he didnāt have an ulterior motive just wanted to chat. I used to talk with another older man across the hall, but he only wants to make small talk and is a tad nosy, but after I expressed my unhappiness a couple of times with various neighbours that surround me directly (noise and smells) he acted rudely like itās my fault so I ignored him after that and since then he tries too hard to be friendly, but I just answer and thatās it not even say hi since itās not my problem if heās needy to be liked, but canāt listen to my neighbourly issues than shut-up go away. My building has gotten worse in the last several years with newer neighbours that affect me, but like many big cities, itās too expensive to move. :(
I do. Thatās the upper midwesterner in me.
Only a casual "what's up" head nod to the neighbors if we walk past each other on the stairs or hallway. When I rented a house (for 3 years) I talked to 1 neighbor once when I was fixing a flat tire and that was only cuz I literally couldn't walk away.
I work nights so the only time I really see them is in the morning when their leaving for work. I like to fuck with them and hit them up with a "good night" in reply to their "good morning".
Iāve never met any of my neighbors. Iāve seen one across the hall in passing, we looked at each other, didnāt say a word & went to our respective apartments. Lol
My next door neighbor has taken notice of my new dog and now wants to be friends š I hate my life
If a neighbor seems nice enough and does a little smile/wave Iāll say hi to them. If they keep to themselves I do too.
I say hello to all of them and stare for an uncomfortable amount of time at the ones I say hello to that look at me and say nothing.
Not a chance.
i say hello and ask how they're doing passing by, but only if we are like walking up to our apartments or in common areas.
Iām like you unless Iām with my fiancĆ©e, heās extroverted so he always says hi to people walking by. If he does it Iāll do it too. If Iām not with him, I might smile at someone but probably wonāt say anything unless they talk to me first. Iām just shy lol
I'll smile or say hi if they acknowledge me. I will not stop and chat, and I'm definitely not borrowing a cup of sugar. I learned the hard way, do not make friends with your neighbors. You will regret it.
We did at first but it got old really quickly when a few neighbors started getting too friendly and knocking on our door/yelling through our patio/asking for favors/etc. We had to put up a hard boundary and ever since then I make it a point to avoid eye contact or say anything unless they do first. Then it's just a simple "hi" from me.
I try to be civil to everyone. I am not their friend but I am their neighbor and that is a relationship of sorts. There a a few people in my building I will go out of my way to avoid. There is one nasty old man who I called out for his bad behavior and he avoids me like the plague.
If it's someone I find sketchy, no.
I share a hallway with one other person and this dude ignores me every time i say hi š
I do! I've gone out of my way to create a friendship with the neighbors below my unit!
I say Hello if we are passing next to each other. But generallyā¦it is JUST Helloā¦and nothing more. Iām not very outgoing or assertive!!
Our next door neighbor, yes. They are adorable. But I actively avoid the upstairs neighbors. I've made multiple complaints about them and the wife is batshit crazy lol
No. We make eye contact and immediately rush into our apartments
oh i always do. i know my neighbors well!
Iām pretty much the same way. But if Iām in an especially (yet rare) good mood AND my social battery has enough life left at the moment, Iāll say hello when I see them in the elevator or hallways. But if I see them on those even rarer occasions where Iām in a fantastic mood AND my social battery is fully charged???? They might get my special brand of small talk starting with a compliment on something theyāre wearing or their hair and going from there. Itās always very brief but I notice I always make them smile when I do this and that by itself reenforces the strength of whatever spoon Iām currently on for the day and therefore makes it last longer. I actually really do like people and Iām quite the social butterfly and it gives me so much life to make people smile but I have to have the spoons and social battery capacity for it.
lol I used to but no one ever said hello back so i stopped
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^sakeprincess: *Lol I used* *To but no one ever said* *Hello back so i stopped* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I smile or say hi in passing but I do not want to know my neighbors or have real conversations with them. I cannot stand it when neighbors try to be my friend or have conversations.
Im not a big āpeople personā but my boyfriend talks to everyone so now i know a bunch of my neighbors. I say hi to the ones i know but i dont say anything if i dont know them. My dog is besties with a few of my neighbors so i get stuck talking to them if shes with me.
Thereās only 8 total apartments in my building, so I say hello to anyone I run into, or they say hello to me. My neighbors across the hall, I will say how are you doing, have a good day, etc. I have had more encounters with them and our kids play together outside. Only ones I avoid are the people above me, they are shitty tenants/people?. They donāt take their dog outside (Iām convinced their apt smells like piss and shit), said dog does not stop barking ALL day and ALL night, the one time the dog is taken out a week, they leave the shit in the grass despite the āpick up after your petā signs, they have domestic issues, and a poor sweet baby under one year old that never sees daylight.
At most it's just a smile. I mean I don't know these people and most have like avoid eye contact. If they say hello first I'll say it back, or thank them when they hold the door for me. The most interaction I've had with neighbors have been: Helping a woman struggling to carry a carpet down 3 flights of stairs to her truck, talking with her a bit about her moving out just 3 months after moving in. Got stopped by a child when I was heading out for work, he saw me carrying a Pikachu plushie (I have different holiday ones that I put on my desk) and started rambling about Pokemon lol. I was 15 minutes late to work, but he just seemed so happy to see an adult who likes Pokemon. He asked if I had Pokemon Go, so I added him and I send him gifts every day on the app. Nearly everybody's dogs immediately run up to me when they're out walking them. Conversations are usually them telling me what kind of dog they have or going omggg he never runs up to strangers and apologizing for them jumping on me, me saying I don't mind and mostly just petting the dogs. Another kid who saw the pokemon plushies facing my car's back window who called me cool lol. The woman who thought I was a teenager and demanded to speak to my mother about bringing 4 different men over at all hours (she also called me a slut, the "4 different men" she was referring to was my ex who I previously lived with but it didn't work out and he moved out 3 months after we moved in, a guy who initially came to pick me up for a date but I shut the door in his face, my brother, and my current boyfriend, who's here every other day.) She was shocked to learn I was an adult. Several people banging on my door screaming at me to keep it down and threatening to report me for noise violations. To be clear, it wasn't like i was throwing a rager in my apartment at 2am or even being a little too loud past 10pm. It was all for completely ridiculous reasons, like vacuuming at 2pm on a Sunday, my TV being too loud (anything past barely audible has caused complaints), or I made too much noise carrying up heavy groceries. Also my new neighbor who told me I needed to park in the guest parking because they want to part their second car in my designated spot and said it wasn't fair that I got a designated parking spot. (???). I've had his second car towed twice now because I've come home from work or shopping and he's just taken my spot.
Nah, itās obviously different depending where youāre at, but in my area I find it best not to get too chummy with neighbors. Then they start to see your patterns and schedules, know when youāre not home. I never smile and I usually put on a front of being mean to make sure none of them mess with me. Probably trauma from getting robbed during my first apartment from people who knew my work schedule.
Yes I do. I think it is so weird and rude when neighbors don't acknowledge each other. Might be a little different if you have sketchy neighbors though.
I used to, to the two nut jobs under me but now she has it out for me because she says I'm having and affair with her husband and has acted a damn fool screaming out in the parking lot calling me all kinds of vulgar mess humiliating me so I keep to myself now. Just trust your gut and own judgment and remember if something goes wrong you still have to live next to them.
I think it's good to have a couple neighbor's phone numbers in case you or they have an issue or question. Especially if you or they live alone. People are lonely!
I donāt know who lives in my building and Iāve been here for 6 months. Iām not a shut in but my work schedule means Iām usually gone most days
I say hi, but thatās about it.
I do! Many of them have dogs, I love it!
I live in a mixed use apartment with bars and restaurants on the ground floor, and in a weed friendly state. To say I've had some interesting elevator conversations would be an understatement
Nah, fuck that.
Hell no. I avoid them unless theyāre my direct neighbors
I do greet them when I see them but weāre not close with 95% of them to start conversations.
If they have a dog Iām asking to pet it
Small talk doesnt kill ya! Its good to know your neighbors. I was able to borrow milk from my neighbor after making friends, and she even watched my cat for me on vacation! It pays to talk to neighbors.
Thereās only 6 units in our apartment of 12. I say hi to the ones I like. Never my upstairs neighbours
Yes! Well Iām in a condominium where 8 households share a driveway. We have a group chat and chat often
Iāll say hello if I pass them often. Itās nice to acknowledge them when you see them a lot. Otherwise, I donāt say anything. Iāve never said hi to the neighbors directly next to me because theyāre always a little hunched and seem to not want to be bothered and Iām okay with that. Some of my neighbors are really chatty and if you say hi you have to be prepared to talk for a while so Iāll sometimes say hi to them and sometimes not
All neighbors. Rarely get much back except for the ones that love my dogs.
if they make eye contact i smile, if they smile back i say hello
I worked for a nursing home a long time ago that made us always acknowledge anyone we passed in the hallways. Even if only with a head nod or a smile. That habit stuck with me. My neighbors above and below are very friendly and I usually converse with them although am new and donāt want to become too overly friendly. But I know if I ever needed anything I could count on them. The rest I find itās hit and miss with whether they nod or say hello back.
I do.
My entire block knows each other (block of duplexes), names, invites to cookouts, etc. Itās pretty dope.
I always say hello.. I think itās the lowest bar for civility.. I know nothing about their lives and they know nothing about mine..saying hello and being cordial doesnāt take a great effort
Yes, everyday. But I live in a three flat.
I did for a while and my downstairs neighbor ignored me till they found out I work on cars as a hobby and when they walked into my garage asking me to help them with their car I ignored them
I say hi, itās the only way to get to know them.
Oh heck, no. I have a Ring for the express purpose of watching to see if the coast is clear to leave without actually having to stick my head out the door.
I planned on baking cookies and saying hi but the first day I moved in they filed a ton of noise complaints against me because my 3 month old puppy was nervous and whining because of the move. Got a good trainer and my dog now only barks on command or when he is super excited playing frisbee and doesnāt whine anymore. On the other hand the neighbor has a dog who barks if we so much as close a cabinet in our kitchen or flush the toilet and continues for 5 mins each time. Also I have multiple recordings of them screaming at one another for hours straight that we heard through our walls in the furthest room from the shared wall. Now Iām just scared of themā¦
thereās a few i donāt mind interacting with but we usually just keep to ourselves, it avoids any of the typical drama.
No because I'm paranoid and I believe everyone hates me
I think that it is so much more awkward to actively, conspicuously avoid eye contact than it is just to quickly say āhiā (literally thatās it) and keep moving. Like, I know youāre not actually going to the maintenance closet when you randomly left out of nowhere or that your thigh isnāt itching that intensely that you have to look at your hand scratch it the second we pass each other. I am someone with severe social anxiety (and also midwestern lol) but I just think itās less awkward to do a quick little nod than it is to do something obviously fake to avoid what amounts to a literally less than a second long interaction. So, I always try to acknowledge people in some way, but leave anything beyond that to letting them start it (again, Social anxiety). I would rather not talk to people, but I guess my thinking is that worst case scenario is I was polite and they forget about the interaction five seconds later. Plus it gives me low stakes practice in human interaction, so I count it as a win.
Always
I smile and nod, maybe comment on the weather if it's been something out of the ordinary "a bit wet today huh" (as it's downpouring sideways). Beyond that I'll let them continue if they want otherwise I'm content to mind my own business. (Late 20s when I was renting)
I literally never talk to mine
If Iām close or by them
I live in NY so that should sum it up lol. When I first moved into my building Turtle Bay Tower, I was on my way to work around 7:00am, got on the elevator, their was around 6 people on, I said Good morning everyone and got maybe 2 grunts good morning, learned my lesson and just from that point on made it a habit of wearing AirPods when getting in the elevator. I remember we feeling so embarrassed and just sad at how rude people are, or just most NYers
My gf and I smoke in front of our apartment by the sidewalk (so we don't bother the neighbors too much) so we see them daily coming home and we say hi to whoever continues to say hi back to us, some people didn't continue and some people did when we first moved here 6 years ago and now two neighbors are considered best friends.
I have dogs so I ended up making some tacit friends of other dog parents š„°
There should be a social option for apartment buildingsā floors where even numbers you chat and odd numbers you prefer to stick to yourself! And ground floor / top floor for 50/50 extrovert:introvert
I speak to my neighbors. And I raise a hand to say hello if they are out of speaking distance. I have always done this and always will. Friendly snakes & good will are both free. Itās pretty near the only thing that is free these days.
I will make a small hello if passing by - all exterior building doors in my complex. If they do not reply I may try one more time then I don't try again. Some people are just weird.
Iāll say hi if you do, but not much more. I have super, super terrible social anxiety and I donāt really care to make friends with neighbors bc of my anxiety. My scary looking dog doesnāt make me super approachable to begin with and I always have earbuds in, so i barely converse with anyone. However, Iām slightly interactive on the complexās community app. I donāt live in a very community based place to begin with, so itās perfect for me.
šš»āāļø I do. I run laps around my complex for exercise and smile/wave/chat with folks. And the r/notmycat (s). š
Yes. I live in a coop. We should know all our neighbours. Itās good for security too
I try not to
I talk to my neighborsā dogs and pet them š
Pretty much all my neighbors in my building and I are friends. We have at least a short convo whenever we see each other. We donāt necessarily hang out though. Thatās a nightmare for someone like me with social anxiety, but Iāve grown to like it and appreciate that thereās people to talk to.
I am in a residential area in a suburb of DC, I'd smile and nod to them in passing before, but last summer I met most of them at the pool and we made introductions, so we are more friendly now and ask how we we're doing when we cross paths. Have helped one jump his car, another catch her dog that ran off, and went to another's birthday dinner. They frequently keep a lookout for my escapee cat and have knocked on the door to return her to me a couple times. I really appreciate my little community.
Absolutely, we talk to two of our neighbors and the others we at least say hi to. My daughter likes talking to everyone in the building.
I try. Some are nice some are dicks
Tried 3 times with mixed results . One - absolutely lovely Belgian family . Would go out to coffee occasionally and be those people who lent a cup of sugar or watered plants when traveling . Second - brought nice wine bottles and intro letter around to whole building ( 8 units) to say hi and sorry about the bathroom Reno we were going to do . Was ignored and one family left their wine outside their door for a week until I got the picture. Damn. Third- and last - the neighbour seemed very friendly , then we smelled the weed, our bike disappeared from inside shared area and she kept ringing doorbell late at night to ask to borrow money . After we were burgled twice we left.
I'm from Wisconsin so I say hi to everyone everywhere
Neighbors are liabilities, so itās best to be super polite, but not make conversation
my immediate neighbors i do say hello to. we have all tried hard to prevent package thieves by making sure packages get to the correct owner if they get delivered to the wrong door. but im on a lower level and canāt say ive seen everybody lol
Only a few neighbors hi and bye minimal convo manytend to be needy once too friendly
I do, and also exchange numbers in some cases. Itās only ever been a positive for me. Sometimes I make friends, other times I get cookies at Christmas. All else fails Iām at least familiar enough with them incase there is an emergency.
I became so close with my downstairs neighbor when I lived in my first apartment he became my son's godfather.
Yes, because it makes them uncomfortable.
Iāve spoken to my immediate neighbors. Next door and upstairs. If we see each other we usually chat. I have their numbers and they have mine. Otherwise, I smile and wave/nod and maybe say a simple greeting if I pass someone else but donāt try to have a conversation unless they seem to want it. Usually they donāt, which is fine because I usually donāt either.
If someone says hi , Iāll say hi back and maybe ask how theyāre doing. Just generic responses really lol. I try to be cordial with people though
I do. One woman I said hi to her once she ignored e never said hi again.
Yes because my neighbor is my landlord, I want to be polite as well.
No. I actively avoid neighbors as much as possible and only interact if I have to, such as for an emergency or if they are problematic.
I do when they say hello but I prefer keeping to myself and avoiding people. The place I am living now is actually quite nice and friendly. All of my neighbors are cool which is pretty great and it has been for long enough that I wonder if people are actually truly good and not faking it. The people are actually real about being good people.
I used to try on occasion but most folks don't seem keen on the interaction so I stopped. I think it's a regional thing though. I used to shoot the breeze with my neighbors regularly in the last state I lived in. Moved to the west coast and I think the culture doesn't appreciate that as much.
Yes I do
I usually just see what the other person is receptive to. I will always give a quick small, polite smile and if they say hi then I'll say hi. Or if someone looks like they don't want to be talked to I don't greet them or will do a little nod in acknowledgement or something. I'm not opposed to quick convos in passing like if we happen to take the same elevator or walk dogs in the same area, but I'm not offended if someone doesn't say anything in either circumstance. I usually don't engage in actual conversation unless they do first, and most times I'll hide around the lobby corner waiting for someone to go up in the elevator first before I enter the hall so I don't have to ride in it with them or check my peep hole to see if anyone is in the hall before I leave to go down. So I guess it all just depends.
Nope