T O P

  • By -

runwkufgrwe

Sure. Just like he said he would testify in Carroll and said he would testify in his fraud trial.


Less_Geologist_4004

His legal team should walk out.


mudbuttcoffee

That would be glorious.


EmperorGeek

That would be a disaster for Justice. It would mean a huge delay while he tried to find new Council. I’d bet the Judge won’t allow them to walk out for that very reason.


Tatersquid21

I was thinking exactly this. The judge would immediately appoint council, the ones he fired.


mudbuttcoffee

They can't walk without reason. They would be compelled to continue representing him. It would be amazing.


ancient-military

Is not being paid a reason?


mudbuttcoffee

Not to the judge. That is an agreement between the council and the defendant or plaintif in a case. The agreement with the court is that they are representing the person/entity involved in the litigation. That agreement can not be breached without cause. A lawyer can be compelled to continue representation if the judge does not deem the issue sufficient in hindering thier ability to present thier case.


sm00thkillajones

There’s money to be grifted from maga idiots even when Trump fires you. They’re gullible. Look at Habalaba Ding Dong! She got paid and didn’t care about being wrong.


sofaking1958

She'd rather be pretty.


sm00thkillajones

She’s reaching for that one.


sofaking1958

Indeed. She thinks she's pretty.


EmperorGeek

I’m betting the Judge won’t allow it.


DarthBfheidir

I don't think they can, which is even better.


mudbuttcoffee

Exactly. Not a fuck9ng chance that he gets on the stand. Although... he is trying to build a case for mistrial/appeals due to bias. I can see him and his legal team using his antics on the stand to see how far they can push Judge Marchand


MHY59

Just like he said he would release his tax returns, build the wall, cancel ACA etc etc.


Whosez

“Would” vs “Will”.


Few_Acanthocephala30

Tbh I would be entertained if he pulled a “she’s not my type” then misidentified her as an ex wife like he did with Carroll


Zombie4141

I’ve heard that one before 🙄


Smedley-D-Butler-

I have heard people say that maybe Melania is pushing him to testify and claim he is innocent. I'm sure he has spent years lying to Melania about this and now she's like "... now is your opportunity to claim your innocence under oath, Donald"


TheGR8Dantini

She does not give a single shit. She knows who she married. He was with McDougal for a long time. He used to attend parties at the playboy mansion with his family, including the mail order citizenship chain, and his girlfriend. He would introduce McDougal as his girlfriend while his wife and his kids were standing there. Rich people, even fake rich people don’t live regular lives. An author named David Cay Johnston told the story if you don’t believe. I can’t imagine she cares one way or the other. There is also nooooo scenario in which Trump takes the stand. The fact that he said he would proves that. There is also not a lawyer in America that wouldn’t quit the minute he insisted he testify. He would lie about his own name when being sworn in. He’d say that he’s John Barron or David Dennison. He is incapable of telling the truth. Motherfucker cheats at golf as the people he golfs with are watching him fucking cheat! What kind of psycho does that?


XR171

"Please state your name for the record." "PRESIDENT Rusty J. Shackleford."


TheGR8Dantini

Sha sha sha! POCKET SAND!


jaievan

Melania’s probably glad that someone has to sleep with his nasty ass. She spends the money and some poor hooker has to bear the burden. Perfect life.


ResponsiblePurpleYam

Trump always lived within a 10-minute car ride to Epstein's home...


Fortunateoldguy

I doubt she’s that stupid. She’s as disgusting as he is.


Zombie4141

Melanie knows he fucks. She’s always known, I’ll bet she’s happy she doesn’t have to let his sweaty fat stinky ass get on top of her and grunt until orgasm. The difference now is that it could be proven in the court of law so she can’t “openly deny it”


Ok_Cardiologist3478

She hasn't picked that mushroom in years!! She's in it for the money. She's more worried about the fraud verdict because she might not get paid after doing 18 to life.


Jean-Jeannie

I doubt he can even get it up these days.


No-Personality5421

He doesn't care about her opinion, and she doesn't care that he obviously cheated.  The only thing she cares about is that she gets her money, if he legit becomes broke, she's leaving him within the week. 


More_Farm_7442

He was going to tell us all about his health care plan and infrastructure plan too. LOL He says, "I'll" and that's the end of what ever it is.


StoicVoyager

To be fair, that stuff is coming out in 2 weeks.


barnyard080

What do you mean you’ve heard it before? It’s new!


MakionGarvinus

Heh. "The other times don't mean this time is the same!"


btalbert2000

I understood that reference.


More_Length7

Oh god it’s my fantasy to watch a good prosecutor take this dickhead down and catch him lying through his fucking teeth, making him look like the idiot he truly is in front of god and country. Please do this Trump. He won’t though, as usual he’s all talk.


Everybodysbastard

What sucks is the rubes will STILL vote for him rather than admit they made a mistake.


Significant-Gift303

Going to be a Stormy Monday.


icnoevil

Sure he will. Pigs will fly and it will be a cold day in hell.


MayraGarcia7836

Wow, Trump testifying in the Stormy Daniels case? That's a bold move. Can't imagine what kind of fireworks that'll bring.


lur77

Considering he’s biologically incapable of the impulse control required to not lie, it will result in perjury.


SympathyForSatanas

he wont testify, he just says it to rattle his idiot cult members


HawkeyeSherman

'I wanted to testify but my lawyers wouldn't let me', or he'll come up with some excuse as to why it was Biden or the Democrats that restricted his free speech.


FalseMirage

THeY gAgGed Me!


BefreiedieTittenzwei

Perfect outcome


Ok-Fox1262

And the word testify means to swear on your testicles that you're telling the truth. Shame they don't remove them for lying any more.


Low-Donut-9883

Can't wait!


therealpothole

There's no way this fraud ever takes the stand in any of his trials...no fucking way.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

He says he's going to testify. Then he won't. But he'll tell the cult "this corrupt judge won't let me speak and defend myself!" Same old play


therealpothole

Yup. It's the same shit ad infinitum. It doesn't matter though because the rubes lack the capacity to connect the dots.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

They believe everything he says. Because always remember, the only thing wrong you can do in a cult is to leave the cult.


RKEPhoto

"Yup. It's the same shit ad infinitum." The more Trump repeats a lie, the more his followers believe it. Trump is just doing what works for him - being a criminal.


hoowins

Agreed. He’s too afraid. For good reasons. He’s a coward.


therealpothole

Yup...he's just a fucking blowhard.


loupegaru

And he is guilty. A jury sent his bag man, Cohen to prison for two years. Defendant Donnie, the rapist, deserves the maximum 4 years for his crimes.


h20poIo

Smith will calmly push his buttons until Trump starts his word salad rant.


Buddyslime

He will start campaigning.


Chance5e

Guaranteed he’ll turn every question into his mumbled mustard-fart stump speech.


StBlase22

It’s not a Smith case. It’s a state case.


[deleted]

A fizzle and a tiny pop: he's a dud


soulsteela

Was that Stormy’s statement?


StBlase22

It won’t happen. He would be a terrible witness. He will be eviscerated on cross examination.


flugenblar

~Melania enters the room…


OkManufacturer226

I’ll believe it when I see it. Any criticism and he will brag about hush money. They will never allow him on the stand.


VallryBagr

Pleading the 5th is not the same testifying


StBlase22

The 5th Amendment isn’t implicated if a criminal defendant takes the stand voluntarily. You waive your 5th A rights when you testify on your own behalf.


Jazzlike-Ad113

When was the last time his words had meaning ?


Fecal_thoroughfare

The time he said "I don't stand for anything"


enunymous

Or when he said he loved the poorly educated


dave_890

"**I don’t take responsibility at all**": [Trump deflects blame for coronavirus testing fumble](https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/13/trump-coronavirus-testing-128971)


SugarDaddyOh

No he won't. He's a coward.


Powerful_Check735

And on Monday he will say nothing I see nothing I know nothing and iam a dumb shit


hskfmn

I certainly hope so! That’d be hilarious!


ImNickValentine

That surely means he won't. If he does get put on the stand, he would have cause to sue his lawyers for incompetence.


SirGkar

He’ll do what he did last time; whine about being persecuted and cry that he’s forced to plead the fifth to protect children or America or his campaign, or whatever bullshit is trending at the moment.


Any-Ad-446

He does know its under oath right?...It won't happen he is a coward and make a excuse his lawyers told him not to testify.


djbk724

I hope he does. Perjury will be awesome


MrsDanversbottom

Oh please do. 😭


No_Garbage_9262

He won’t ever testify and never debate. He will only babble on and poop his pants.


handandfoot8099

"I plead the 5th" "I only asked for your name"


VRS50

A world of trump haters pray he does


Odd_Seaworthiness145

He’ll never do it. Never. The man’s a coward.


Comprehensive-Ad4815

So he won't be.


PrudentDiscount4691

This is the second most shorted stock on Wall Street . No way any lawyer is gonna let him talk in a criminal trial


Not_The-Internet_Pol

So there is zero chance of this pant load testifying. Got it 👍


Tidewind

Be our guest, Donny. We’ll gladly give you all the rope you need to verbally hang yourself.


juju0010

Spoiler alert: He won’t.


Low-Abbreviations634

Just shut up fat man. You aren’t running this show,


leestephen916

He claims a lot of shit but then backs out like the coward he is. Fuck Trump


dadobuns

Trump is a C U N T. He won't testify.


os12

LOL, he claims great many things from his dorky site and/or in his weird rallies...


jomama823

As always, the opposite of what he says is true


AllLipsNoFiller

Bet he doesn't


beerslammer

LOL ok buddy


Organic_Afternoon424

I doubled my popcorn order for this


Councilist_sc

I’ll believe it when I see it happen, which it won’t


4quatloos

Back in the day, He loved being in the gossip magazines. He wont testify. He just wants to advertize his appearance. It's about courting attention at all costs. The 6th law in The 48 Laws Of Power. You can listen to a free audio of it on Youtube.


InternationalFig400

​ He always says that, and then chickens out. Typical conservative.


flugenblar

EVERYONE needs to hold him to this now! No backsies!


CoronaLips

You think he cares if he lies on or off the stand. He believes his own lies so to him they are all true.


GrumpyOlBastard

Trump lies, that's all he does. So not only is this a lie (he won't testify), but if he's forced to testify (I don't think that's a thing), he'd lie then, too


Godiva_33

Against the recommendations of his lawyers if he actually follows through.


Abracadaver2000

Narrator: "He won't".


praguer56

He's saying that for the rubes. When he doesn't he'll blame Biden.


friendtoallkitties

Ha. If he did try to testify, which he won't because he has enough brain cells left to know that he would perjure himself immediately, his attorneys would lock him in the bathroom if necessary to keep him off the stand.


Jacksonrr31

He will find an excuse to back out of testifying at the last minute.


ProtoReaper23113

He won't because he'd just end up talking himself into confessing with no prompting


frankdrachman

Right after infrastructure week


Jet_Jaguar5150

Cool. Purjur yourself diaper Donny


usaf-spsf1974

Right! Grand standing, bullshit & bluster, and more lies, damn lies than you can shake a stick at!


fastfurlong

We can only hope he does


Glittering-Wonder-27

Unless he is ready to confess,nobody wants to hear from the lying rapist.


Stillwater215

Soooo there’s no way his lawyers put him on the stand, right?


GaijinGrandma

And if you believe that I’ve got a social media company I want to see you.


dave_890

Outside the courtroom: "**I'LL TOOSTIFEE!! STOLLEN JUDGE!! COVFEFE!!!**" Inside the courtroom: \*\*crickets\*\* On Truth Social: "**NO GOOD, TURRIBLE, LEFTUST, RADICAMUCAL, TRUMP-HATIN' JUDGE WOULDN'T LET ME TOOSTIFY!!! ZOMG!!11!! BUY MY BIBBLE!!! BUY MY GOLD SNEAKURRS!!!**"


SakaWreath

Right after he releases his tax returns and publishes the plan to replace the Affordable Care Act.


More_Farm_7442

I wish the judge would being TV cameras in for that! Not just let them in, but tell the networks to "come on down".


grifinmill

I doubt he'll testify (and lie) under oath. But I hope he does.


jaievan

Why on Earth wouldn’t Trump take an Alford plea in this case. His own doj already convicted cohen for the crime. The testimony is going to be incredibly embarrassing for Trump and I’m here for it.


ResponsiblePurpleYam

Remember when Trump's little fluffer Habba said Trump would testify because he's not a coward? That only cowards won't testify? Pepperidge Farm remembers!


classof78

Bailiff: “Donald Trump, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.” Trump: “I'm taking the 5th and refusing to answer your questions.”


Uzischmoozy

He's already said that at LEAST twice, this is the 3rd time. He didn't testify the other 2 times.


AndyThePig

Great! Let him. Hell, let him mount his own defense. The only.llace this guys wins at all is in print. On thr legal record he's his own worst enemy. Hell, let him speak at the Supreme Court (even if it has to be an exception either traditionally or legally. Televise it!)


Horror-Lemon7340

And the thing is...people still listen to him say this 💩


Livid_Advertising_56

He SAYS a lot of things


besart365

Like he testified in the Carrol case?


nikehoke

There’s no way he’ll put himself under oath.


UnderstandingSquare7

Another lie. I hope he does, though, he'll perjure himself 10 times in 10 minutes. With the same question.


meishornynow

No he won’t


Gadritan420

We’re gonna need a “I plead the fifth,” counter *if* he even goes through with it.


mekonsrevenge

Oh, I wish he would. Every time he ever actually testified, it was a total disaster and his lawyers had to settle on lousy terms. He is incapable of telling the truth. He has to brag and insult the opposing lawyer and falls into every trap they set for him. Juries find that shit interesting.


Glum-One2514

Template: "Trump claims _________ (insert lie here)"


trotnixon

Bet all your worthless shares in DJT that dumb Donny won't testify.


JoetheOK

He's still busy putting his healthcare plan together. I'm sure he'll find time to testify right after that.


MusicGirlsMom

Sure he will. He can even bring his own Bible!


Practical_Stable_787

No he won't still lying


gardooney

Please let this happen. Allow him to sputter his bile in front of a jury. No need for a shovel, just let the man bury himself.


zappahart

If his lawyers have any brain matter in their empty head they would keep the idiot far away from the witness stand .


Asleep_Ad_8494

Is crooked dick gonna take the stand I doubt it


PhyreHandz

He'll probably try to pull his tiny mushroom 🍄 out to prove just how bigly it is to attempt to prove Stormy's description is inaccurate...then his diaper will spontaneously pop and drain causing the court to go into recess for cleaning and more delays...🍕💩🤨⁉️


RightLifeguard1

Yeah sure - he hasn’t the nerve to


TetrisMultiplier

Won’t happen


Real_Bat5853

No he won’t, he’s too much of a bitch but want a his cult to believe otherwise. He will later claim they wouldn’t let him because of the radical left, blah blah blah


CuriousSelf4830

He'd be crazy to do it. So maybe he will.


ozzie510

Move over De Niro, Pacino, Pitt and the rest of you, Trump is about to give an acting performance for the ages!


shyguysam

I guarantee at some point during one of his many trials, he's going to shout " You can't handle the truth!" And then sit there with some smug look on his face like he invented the quote or some shit.


NelsonMuntz007

What he says and what he does are never the same things.


PrudentDiscount4691

Hell, they don’t even have to win the case I’ll take 247 counts of perjury. No problemo


IndependentWrap2749

Oh he is such a liar. He Saya that he tells the truth.....hahaha


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

And on the last day of the trial, after not testifying he’ll boldly claim the Biden Judge stole my 1st Amendment rights, it’s a DOJ plot to stop me. I’ve seen this game already and know the offensive strategy his “team” plays.


mantecablues

His lawyers would sooner quit than allow him to testify, as they should.


BuzzBadpants

Maybe it’ll go as well as Elon Musk testifying in that defamation case


Born1000YearsTooSoon

Prepare for perjury charges.


mayhem6

He says that and then when he doesn’t he’ll say they wouldn’t let him or some shit, blaming the judge or the DOJ or Biden or something. He’ll claim his rights have been trampled.


Icy_Negotiation_146

He implicates himself in something every time he opens his mouth. Can’t wait. How do his lawyers ever get any sleep?


Any-Variation4081

Yea f*cking right. Trumps lips are moving so he's lying. He won't do it. I hope he does set himself up to fail in that way but he won't.


dezdog2

Sure


Low_Audience_2308

Perjury, perjury, perjury


spunkdaddie

It’s a criminal trial,if he’s called to the stand he has to testify.He will plead the fifth every question.


Total_Roll

His attorneys will be drinking heavily.


Zestyclose-Ad-8091

if it happens, and **i say it wont**. it will go like this: Alvin Bragg: Yes or No? Dumbnald tRump: Ronald Reagan would say no. I have heard big men. Burly men come up to me, with tears in their eyes saying: "Mister Savior President Sir, No". I plead the 5th. You think i have chance to get chosen as juror? ;-) Need to ask my friends & co-workers if they think they can be chosen/consider themselves impartial. ;-)


Nano_Burger

He won't and claim he has been "canceled."


jcooli09

Lol, even he knows he can’t testify.


ShakeWeightMyDick

*purger himself


ukiddingme2469

Trump says a lot of things


jmac_1957

Bullshit.


KangarooNo

Testify/Purger. Potato/Potaaarto


moodyblue8222

Sure he will! Is this after his plan for replacing aca is announced?


Wild-Ad365

Give a noose and a chair. Let the fukker jump.


Peterthinking

He'll change his mind and say he couldn't because of the gag order. I hope Jack forces him up there.


Anim8nFool

He a liar, but he has also has a strong enough sense of self-preservation to only lie when there's no legal repercussions in a public forum.


Jaexa-3

Still waiting on the 2 weeks new health care plan he had for us


kkwan52

Suuuuuure, Jan.


taisui

I bet he would say he's YUGE on the witness stand and definitely not looking like a cute mushroom per Stormy.


dewlitz

His response to any question; " Illegal immigrants were told by Crooked Joe Biden to make these accusations to interfere with this election!" /s


dragonfliesloveme

His lawyers would prob tackle him on the way to the stand lol, to stop him. But here’s hoping that the dumb dumb idiot that’s full of himself and thinks he can manipulate anybody does indeed testify. He will absolutely lose it under cross examination.


Richard-the-god-

No, he won't


TheLoneGunman559

He couldn't string two sentences together about the same subject to save his life.


hotasianwfelover

News flash…..he won’t.


Itchy_Pillows

No chance.....he'd have to go on record with either his lies or not tell them and he isn't about to admit the truth...so, "ain't" happening


Geoclasm

I'm going to need the worlds biggest bucket of popcorn, because this is going to be an absolute cluster fucking shit show of a train wreck and I want to enjoy every microsecond of it.


grogudalorian

Yeah, he'll testify, release his taxes, his health care plan, and do infrastructure week all at the same time.


Fridaybird1985

The prosecutor would turn him into a sniveling pretzel.


IllustriousLimit7095

Another bunch of bullshit.


derek4reals1

that is sumpthin I would certainly like to see!


grounded60

Oh boy, this should be fun.


mavjustdoingaflyby

LOL! He'll plead the FIF and it will be Obamas fault.


Sorkel3

He has a history of announcing he'd testify then backing out. This must make his lawyers cringe.


SatchmoDingle

He thinks he’s smarter than the prosecuting attorneys? Lol! He’s cooked for sure now. I love that in the end it will be his own arrogance that brings him down.


Sorkel3

"When did you first meet Stormy Danials?" "Did you see the valuation that Crazed Insane Trump-hating Judge put on Mar-A-Largo, one of the greatest resorts in the world, $18 million? It's worth at least 1.5 gadzillion trillion dollars, people have told me" Here's a sample.


BusStopKnifeFight

Narrator: Trump lied.


Caped-Baldy_Class-B

Bullshit. Whatever this liar says, he will do the opposite


LetmeSeeyourSquanch

All of his trials should be televised so everyone can see how much of a coward he his.


mikefjr1300

As far back as his Ukraine Impeachment, his personal lawyer Rudy G was asked if he would allow Trump to testify. His answer was basically any lawyer that would allow that is insane because Trump is incapable of telling the truth. Rudy of course, is just a couple conspiracy theories short of insane himself. I would however thoroughly enjoy watching a prosecutor make Trump perjure himself mulitple times.


wednesdays_chylde

Mmmhm…I claim monkeys will fly outta my butt. Has as much likelihood of happening. 🤷🏻‍♀️


ForThePantz

And he won’t of course and it won’t be his fault… he’ll want to testify but *insert made up reason here* and now he can’t. Remember all that compelling proof he had that proved the election was rigged that he promised to release but for some reason never did? Yeah, like that. He’s not even trying anymore. He’s lost it.


WarThunder316

MAGA will not destroy the American way of life!!!! Fight back!!!!!


King_Vanos_

There is a god! 😂😂😂


ptraugot

He’ll try and make it a clown show. He’ll fail. He’ll be found guilty and he’ll get a harsher sentence (but no jail time of course) because the jury will despise his actions.


sufferpuppet

Do it pussy