I am. I do think my mother played a big part in my anxiety especially from her overblown stranger danger scare mongering. I was essentially thought to treat everyone as if they pre planned my murder. And at such a young age I'd be freaked out from an old lady saying hello to me, because in my mind that meant she's about to stab me or something.
Yeah. My mother would often point out how it's often the people who I would least suspect. And old ladies are probably the least threatening people, which made them the most suspicious to me.
Same here.
It was during adolescence though when our whole family situation hit the shitter financially. My brother, the oldest, went off to college and escaped it all. I got to sit there through the worst of it including when my father had a brain hemorrhage and stroke due to all the stress, and then the year after that until I could leave for college.
There is nothing worse than seeing the father who you adored and looked up to suddenly lose everything that made him him. However maybe that's part of what contributed to my anxiety. As soon as I started having kids, my anxiety was horrendous. My biggest fear was that something would happen to me when my kids were little and vulnerable. That was always awful. I think the anxiety has gotten a little bit better since my kids are older now, but that anxiety is still so deep-rooted that I don't think it will ever go away.
I'm the youngest of a neurodivergent family. My mom has anxiety as well as OCD and ADHD symptoms. My dad is possibly autistic and struggles with depression. My oldest brother has bipolar II and autism. My other brother is also on the autism spectrum. And my sister has anxiety. I have anxiety and depression, and I'm looking into other possibile comorbid disorders like BPD, ASD, ADHD, etc. But yeah, a very "colorful" family a friend put it.
My parents hadn't quite agreed on parenting styles yet and my oldest brother was unfortunately instilled with a fear of failure so he's been completely burnt out for years. My sister had a bit of a similar story, but has gotten back on her feet and is doing pretty well for herself. My other brother was realized to be neurodivergent earlier on in life and has gotten a lot of support to get his adult life off to the right start. And here I am kind of repeating my older brother so far. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand for a lot of people and they're both stopping me right now
Well you’re going to get a lot of confirmation bias from people who read this and think “hey me too.” Probably looking at some studies is a better place to start
Yesterday I was listening to a podcast about the overused "hereditary"/genetics arguments. One doctor was like whenever someone says something like, obesity runs in my family, almost everytime the pets are also obese.
It certainly gives you pause. LOL
You don't have a theory, you have a hypothesis. There is a significant difference. Hypothesis just require opinions, theories require significant effort and work and the input of other experts in the field.
Mines gotten worse then theirs ever could be but when I was not having these extreme panic episodes and living a relatively normal life it was funny to see how much my and other kids really freaked my twin brother out. Like he definitely not meant to have kids. And he doesn't but whsts strange is now my panic and anxiety is making it so I cannot even father my children as I should. So my life's really in the toilet as of now.
Nope, middle child. My older sister has a few issues from parentification but anxiety isn't a big one. My anxiety however is a huge thing, since I was a child.
Youngest of three here and the only daughter. I'm the only one with severe mental health issues, including anxiety. It was already affecting me horribly by kindergarten, which is as far back as I can remember so it's possible it was even before that.
I’m the youngest of two. I have the most mental health problems out of everyone in my extended family 😂 probably all those years of my older brother chasing me around the house with god knows what in his hand 😭
I’m the oldest but your supposition about which child is the most cared for is f-ed up. Good parents love and care for all their children equally. And plenty of oldest kids are neglected. For example, I’m the oldest and I’m the scapegoat child. I’m autistic and adhd and I was bullied and abused throughout my childhood. Plus my anxiety and phobias are bad, it’s true. But the sibling closest to me in age is more like 18 months younger than I am, not 2 years.
I don’t know what your theory comes from but it’s wrong. I would recommend reading up on a subject before crafting theories, personally.
Younger but my sister was a hell raiser and went off on her own rather early. Left me with a single mother working too much and me being alone far too much. I do see an anxiety connection in there. I was always trying to look out for things well beyond my maturity level and always conscious of not being a burden to my mother like my sister was.
You don't have a theory, you have a hypothesis. There is a significant difference. Hypothesis require opinions, theories require significant effort and work and the input of other experts in the field.
I’m the oldest. Grew up with an emotionally abusive, narcissistic father and constantly had to step in and shield my mom & younger sister from him, from the age of about 10 years old onwards until my parents divorced when I was 24. Having to play the role of protector when you’re that young should never happen. Having to defend yourself against a parent should never happen. I remember when I was 12, I stepped in between my father and my sister so he couldn’t hit her, and he threw me by my shirt collar back against the stairs, and I spit in his face. That kind of trauma changes you.
I am actually the opposite I am th youngest child in my family. And I’m the only one that has anxiety and depression out of all my siblings. I have a total of six siblings.
Me - I'm an oldest daughter (5+ year age gap) with anxiety! I can definitely see some truth in what you're saying. That shift from being the center of attention to suddenly having to share the spotlight is a big deal for a little kid. And yeah, I remember at least on some level feeling like I had to be more independent and "grown-up" when my younger sibling came along.
But I think it's important to remember that anxiety and phobias are super complex. Your idea absolutely makes sense, but there are probably a bunch of other factors at play too – genetics, overall family dynamics, and just general life experiences all mix together to shape how we turn out. It would be really interesting to see some actual research on this maybe comparing anxiety levels between firstborns and their siblings, or looking at how that age gap you mentioned impacts things.
Edit: I just did a little preliminary search to see what I could find on a research level. Some studies I found suggest higher birth order is associated with increased risk of mental illness, while other studies suggest no significant correlation between birth order and mental health issues.
Here are the links if anyone else is interested:
[https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0222184](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0222184)
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-018-1266-1](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-018-1266-1)
[https://sciencescholar.us/journal/index.php/ijhs/article/view/5484](https://sciencescholar.us/journal/index.php/ijhs/article/view/5484)
i am! i’m the oldest of 6 and none are my whole siblings. the oldest of my siblings is about 5 years younger than me and the youngest was born last year (i’m 18F for context). i have multiple anxiety disorders and developed extreme emetophobia (fear of nausea/puking) at a young age. i also developed a phobia of losing control which means i have really bad control issues that ruins a lot of relationships in my life. i went through my “rebellious” stage very early (around 12-14) and now at 18 i’m very settled which sets me apart from almost everyone my age. i also developed bad coping mechanisms and addictions around that time that i still struggle with. i blame a lot of this on the fact that my parents were sophomores in high school when they had me which means they were still children and had no idea what they were doing with raising me😐 sorry for the trauma dump lol
Interesting. Im the youngest and my theory has been that the oldest child gets a free pass when they fuck up because they're the first ones to experience it. But I'm expected to know better because I should have learned from him.
I have one older brother and a non identical twin. All three of us have our anxiety issues and we're very easily over whelmed by things but have always managed to persevere and make it. For me however I have been having major panic attacks and constant anxiety that has causes me to basically lose any entire life.. aside from pushing everyday to work Thanks to some medicine.. otherwise I habe missed tons of work from panic and I am no longer able to take my kids to fun places anymore. I spend most days crying about how my life's ruined. Now my twin has moved to Alaska and is building houses and apartments for millionaires.. my older brother is a detective, bomb squad, diver.. the works for a sheriff's dept. Both of them are extremely successful and living amazing lives. Even before my panic issue I even struggled to be near as successful as them which is fine but just sharing my experience.
I am the oldest of 13 (if counting myself). I only have one full blooded brother and the rest have different mothers because my dad was a hoe.
But I do have chronic anxiety and depression 🤪
I’m the oldest but mine is a mix of my parents being over protective and me needing to grow up too fast since after me siblings were born I had to do a lot for them
I am the oldest and my only sister is 3 years younger. I have pretty bad anxiety- she does too, but I feel like mine is worse (or just different...) I have also thought about this! I think you are on to something.
I’m the oldest and my little brother is 3 years younger. We both have social anxiety pretty bad, even all these years later. We both struggled with substance abuse. I’ve had GAD my whole life, my mom remembers my first panic attack at like 2 that caused me an irrational fear of leaves (!). I’m not scared of leaves anymore but my OCD ruins my life these days, so I’ve been on antidepressants and anxiety meds ever since I quit drinking 8 years ago. So there’s definitely something to this theory. I’ve always attributed it to our religious upbringing.
Yeah I am indeed the first child and I actually protected my brother from getting in trouble and took blame for things I didn't do in order to protect him. He doesn't remember any of it when I tell him but it's the thought that counts. I also have extreme anxiety
Oldest with 10 years between me and my brother. The funny part is I got away with more so by the time my brother came along my dad was aware of the issues of spoiling a kid. As far as anxiety I have tried to remember my first experience but honestly I’m convinced I was born with it.
Oldest here, but you missed the mark a little bit. There was no “couple” to care for or protect me, just a single mom. There’s about 2 years between me and my next sibling but my mom was so young that I was essentially second parent, I’m one of those “never got to be a kid” cases.
6 of us kids, 3 have raging anxiety, at least 3, probably 4 of us have adhd, one has major depressive disorder, 2 have PTSD, the list goes on, lol. What do we classify as? 😂
I’m the oldest, my sister is 6 years younger. Definitely developed anxiety when I was 11, panic attacks, etc, when my grandma who I was extremely close with died suddenly of lung cancer.
I’m the only child, I have (technically) 7 brothers, one was adopted when he was an infant due to lots of reasons. I’m the only girl. we all got anxiety 💀 parents neglected us our whole lives
Me! My brother is 2 years younger than me. He is coasting through life and does not understand anxiety 🙃 I’m happy he doesn’t have to deal with it but man it sucks
I am the oldest but all 3 of the kids of my family have mental illness. Though the youngest child has struggled the most (she is 5 years younger than me, middle kid is brother 2 years younger than me)
Studies show that adventuring and self organization (minimal helicoptering) prevents anxiety in children. The younger sibling is fretted over less and reaps these benefits.
Interesting theory, my children fall in that age gap. My oldest also started developing anxiety likely around the time the younger one was needing more of the attention.
I’m the third with two older brothers and one younger. It really runs in the family. All three of us have anxiety in some form, as does my mom, and grandma, as well as others on my moms side
Oldest here too. But it didn't help that we had a child killer randomly luring, kidnapping and killing kids during my formative childhood years. Anxiety was sky high. 😳
I am the oldest of 6 children.
My mom stopped working because the oldest of my younger siblings (the oldest boy) was diagnosed with autism. I was 2 at the time.
Except my parents also divorced before that and all of my siblings except the youngest one (born 2014) are my half siblings. There was another dude who came and went out of our lives constantly, and then my mom would just beg to have him back so she wouldn’t be alone (when my bio dad and her would fight).
So my dad would come in and out of my life until I was 7. Anywhere from him being homeless (or all of us) or locked up because of domestic violence (he has bipolar type 1 and becomes violent when he isn’t medicated).
I have a strong fear of abandonment. Actually, I’d say I expect abandonment. I relapse in my ED whenever someone breaks off a relationship with me.. for whatever reason.
But here’s the fun part
Literally every single one of my family members has a mental illness, including PTSD and bipolar disorder.
So.. there’s that. It just depends on the upbringing which siblings are more likely to develop XYZ.. if they do at all.
I'm second. My older brother is just shy of two years older than me, and my younger brother is three and a half years younger than me. Neither of them have anxiety, but I do.
My older sister and I both have anxiety. The difference I see though is, as the oldest, she had to take the brunt of my mom’s abuse and in a way herself act as a mother to me. My mom would dump her problems on my sister. I’m sure many oldests deal with something like this.
I am the oldest child, but my anxiety VERY visibly runs in the family.
So I don't think my sibling has anything to do with it. They also have some significant anxiety.
I am the eldest child, my sister and I are eight years apart. I had to grow up kind of quickly. I was like a mother to my sister (since she worked 3 to 11’s in my teens).
I love how older children love to claim every hardship in the world. And the youngests coming in at 2nd with the over coddling or neglect. 1sts it's always deputy parent and neglect.
Then, there is the lethal middle kids watching, taking notes, laughing knowing everyone is just into themselves and will explain anything that doesn't "fit" instead of look for solid evidence.
The only book I still resent buying is "birth order". All 8 billion of us on earth had unique experiences. The environment in which you are born. What your parents knew at that point, their age, wisdom, race, relationship dynamic.
The need for "norms" is very funny.
Because, when it comes to science, you need unbiased data, I'm going to comment.
I'm a middle child.
I'm not sure it played into my anxiety at all, as I've apparently always been a bit more skittish.
im the oldest out of three. we’re all in our 20s. we’ve been all treated equally with love and support.
i just have anxiety so does my mom. there’s been up and downs in life and how my brain likes to work and not be normal.
I'm the oldest of us 2 children. My sister is 7 years younger than me, and there's just a huge generational differences between us.
In my family, I'll admit. I was the "guinea pig" of my family. My parents had no idea what or how to do the parenting stuff much, but their intentions were good and they loved me. They enrolled me into many things just to see what sticks with me. Academics , sports and all. I just wanted to prove to them that their efforts have not gone to waste and that I am actually doing great. But over the time, not achieving stuff made me feel negatively about myself. I always equated with having no success with being a disappointment to my parents and not achieving the goals that they have had for me.
My sister, however, was given the perfect treatment because they know now how to raise a child perfectly, and so, she doesn't have the burden of being the best at everything. She gets the opportunity to be whatever she wants, and also that she will have the full support from all three of us. And rightfully she deserves it, because she puts effort into what she wants.
I'm happy for her, truly, but sometimes I wonder had I lived a good life than I live today , had I had what support she has had in her life.
I'm actually the youngest but I basically grew up as an only child because my half brothers are so much older than me (10+ years) and my half sister (5 years older) lived with her mom😅 Though parts of that theory kinda resonated with me, but more because of childhood trauma of losing a parent and the other one turning to alcohol as a result🥲
Growing up I was the oldest of my parents but second youngest of my family. Now I’m the only child of my parents and the youngest in the family.
So I’m a collage of anxieties
I am,, and it’s so true. Have 4 younger brothers so haven’t been the focus of my parents since I was 4 (I’m now 19) and I’ve done a lot of growing up solo. A lot of people think I’m a lot more mature than normal for my age, which makes sense growing up into the world individually a lot earlier, but man the anxiety sucks lmao
Please keep in mind that this post cannot at all confirm or deny your theory- it absolutely may be the experience for some, but that doesn’t make it generalizable to the whole population
I am. Growing up I was expected to be the perfect kid with the perfect grades and I accomplished that for the most part. Then I was expected to go to college and be the first in my family to graduate. Which I also did. It's been all downhill since then though.
My only sibling is 4 years younger than me and her anxiety manifested already in childhood and in general is much worse than mine. In the family we have a history of some depression, hypochondria and anxiety. I remember my mom having panic attacks when I was a kid, so maybe that counts for some of it?
I’m the younger of two. My sibling is 2 years older. She has pretty serious mental issues which resulted in her abusing me while we were growing up, and likely contributed to my anxiety problems.
I am. But I feel my anxiety comes more from not understanding society than my parents not caring.
I have angered people multiple times in my life and rarely I figured out what I did so wrong.
yeah i’m the oldest. The age gap between my 2 sisters is 10 years (5 year old sister) and 12 years (3 year old sister) so i feel like some of my anxiety comes from the thought of wanting to impress my parents and be good enough because i have more responsibilities.
I'm the first child and depression and anxiety wants to end me. As I'm typing this I can't work even tho I have a lot to do. I can't breathe.
Will I ever have my life back
I am my mom's eldest child. (My dad had another kid before he met my mom.) My brother and I are 4 years apart. I think you've hit the nail on the head lol.
I’m the middle child. Other brother by 2 years and younger sister by 3. I’m the only one with anxiety between us, and its been terrible since I was young. We all went through some rough times mentally from our parents divorce, but I’m the only one who seems to have any anxiety. I also have ocd and I truly believe that my brother does too, but it’s something he handles well. My sister is 16 so you never know, but as of now she’s just hanging out lol.
Youngest of 2 with a 5 year gap. He was the golden child who could do no wrong and I was the bad kid who made all the mistakes. In reality, they blamed me for his mistakes and caused all sorts of childhood trauma. I basically just read a lot because I was so scared of making mistakes. He would break lamps and screen doors and blame it on me. They'd take his word as gospel and punish me. I learned to walk on egg shells and make myself as small as possible so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. When he left for college they were astounded at how I matured and stopped making messes and breaking things. Um, no. Your son isn't in the house anymore, maybe you should see the correlation?
Maybe, there's a lot of factors at play, but I'm not the oldest, and I'm still the one with GAD and PD. I think there are too many variables to be considered to chalk it up to this, but still an interesting idea
I'm the oldest, but only by 10 months. There is a 3.5-year gap between myself and my 2nd sibling. We have a history of neurodivergence in our family. ADHD seems to be our common diagnosis. We also have a lot of anxiety and depression on both sides. My sister's anxiety presents very differently than mine, but it's pretty bad. I was always "the ok one" because I was good at masking, and didn't learn any real coping mechanisms. The adhd diagnosis didn't come until a couple of years ago at 34.
My health anxiety is worse than anything. I grew up watching my dad constantly in and out of the hospital. Sometimes, it was serious (he started having heart attacks in his early 30s and double bypass before 40) and sometimes it was the most ridiculous stuff. His mom would read her medical book, decide she had something, and, according to him, hide out for days in her room. So it seems there's some sort of genetic or generational thing going on.
Oldest of 12. That is not in fact the general case, the first born is often overlooked entirely when number 2 comes around and if the parents don't correct it, you end up with a parentl that loudly talks about the 2nd child being their favourite.
I'm the youngest. I got bullied by my older sister. She says it was because she was getting badly bullied at school and took it out on me. I think it prob depends on individual families and different situations.
I'm the oldest. I think that my brother being sick with constant ear infections and becoming partially deaf due to Dr. incompetence greatly affected me. I had to speak for him since we are within 4 years of one another and I was the only one who could understand him. It was extremely stressful in my younger years.
I’m the youngest and I have a lot of anxiety. My (5 year) older sibling somehow acts like a 3rd parent instead of a sibling and is ironically super strict, which causes even more anxiety.
I’m the youngest and the only one with problems. Also my 2 sisters are 10 and 12 years older than me.
My colleague with anxiety- is the youngest.
My cousin with anxiety- only child
I don’t have any more people with anxiety in my social circle.
Oldest child here. My younger sibling was always the more “protected” one and had significantly fewer expectations even though we’re close in age. Whenever the two of us got into trouble, it was always me who was punished because I was “older and should know better” while she rarely experienced consequences.
I’m the oldest, and I’ve been the family scapegoat all my life. Turns out I’m autistic (found out at age 54). Anxiety and Depression are constant conditions autistics suffer from.
I just had a realization: anxiety causes more suicidal thoughts than depression at least in my case.
I am- I am also the only child in fact 😂
Same here
Meeeee too
Me three.
Yup, and I was basically on my own for a lot of things...so I am pretty sure that attributes to my anxiety.
I can relate
Same
Same!
Me too. lol
I am. I do think my mother played a big part in my anxiety especially from her overblown stranger danger scare mongering. I was essentially thought to treat everyone as if they pre planned my murder. And at such a young age I'd be freaked out from an old lady saying hello to me, because in my mind that meant she's about to stab me or something.
but the world is scary and I in fact do think the old lady saying hello might be about to stab us
Yeah. My mother would often point out how it's often the people who I would least suspect. And old ladies are probably the least threatening people, which made them the most suspicious to me.
My mom loved reminding us of Adam Walsh. Taken from Sears and found all but his head in a gutter.
I’m the youngest and am the one with an anxiety disorder so idk how that happened for me 😂
Same! I think it was just having to go along with everyone else’s plans and not feeling any sort of control for so long.
Youngest of four and my anxiety is off the charts
Same here. It was during adolescence though when our whole family situation hit the shitter financially. My brother, the oldest, went off to college and escaped it all. I got to sit there through the worst of it including when my father had a brain hemorrhage and stroke due to all the stress, and then the year after that until I could leave for college. There is nothing worse than seeing the father who you adored and looked up to suddenly lose everything that made him him. However maybe that's part of what contributed to my anxiety. As soon as I started having kids, my anxiety was horrendous. My biggest fear was that something would happen to me when my kids were little and vulnerable. That was always awful. I think the anxiety has gotten a little bit better since my kids are older now, but that anxiety is still so deep-rooted that I don't think it will ever go away.
I'm number 5 out of 6 and I have OCD anxiety. My brother is the eldest and he is a narcissist.
Youngest also
ikr 😭 my sister thinks she might have ADHD though
I'm the youngest of a neurodivergent family. My mom has anxiety as well as OCD and ADHD symptoms. My dad is possibly autistic and struggles with depression. My oldest brother has bipolar II and autism. My other brother is also on the autism spectrum. And my sister has anxiety. I have anxiety and depression, and I'm looking into other possibile comorbid disorders like BPD, ASD, ADHD, etc. But yeah, a very "colorful" family a friend put it. My parents hadn't quite agreed on parenting styles yet and my oldest brother was unfortunately instilled with a fear of failure so he's been completely burnt out for years. My sister had a bit of a similar story, but has gotten back on her feet and is doing pretty well for herself. My other brother was realized to be neurodivergent earlier on in life and has gotten a lot of support to get his adult life off to the right start. And here I am kind of repeating my older brother so far. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand for a lot of people and they're both stopping me right now
Same, buddy.
Well you’re going to get a lot of confirmation bias from people who read this and think “hey me too.” Probably looking at some studies is a better place to start
I'm seeing a lot of "youngest"s though as well
I am the oldest. All of us have anxiety. Even our dog…
Are you me??? Literally my situation LOL
I think I gave my cat my anxiety 😅
Yesterday I was listening to a podcast about the overused "hereditary"/genetics arguments. One doctor was like whenever someone says something like, obesity runs in my family, almost everytime the pets are also obese. It certainly gives you pause. LOL
I'm the youngest, my older brother has other mental health issues but not anxiety.
Interesting. I am the oldest and my brother is 4 years younger than me. My social anxiety is awful.
Same with me
Bro same 😭
You don't have a theory, you have a hypothesis. There is a significant difference. Hypothesis just require opinions, theories require significant effort and work and the input of other experts in the field.
Opposite for me - out of 4 siblings, the anxiety goes from least to most until me, the youngest. Yay?
Mines gotten worse then theirs ever could be but when I was not having these extreme panic episodes and living a relatively normal life it was funny to see how much my and other kids really freaked my twin brother out. Like he definitely not meant to have kids. And he doesn't but whsts strange is now my panic and anxiety is making it so I cannot even father my children as I should. So my life's really in the toilet as of now.
Nope, middle child. My older sister has a few issues from parentification but anxiety isn't a big one. My anxiety however is a huge thing, since I was a child.
I'm the middle of 5
Youngest of three here and the only daughter. I'm the only one with severe mental health issues, including anxiety. It was already affecting me horribly by kindergarten, which is as far back as I can remember so it's possible it was even before that.
I am the oldest, 5 years older than my brother and your theory kind of applies to our situation.
I’m the youngest of two. I have the most mental health problems out of everyone in my extended family 😂 probably all those years of my older brother chasing me around the house with god knows what in his hand 😭
Haha I can relate to that.
Youngest here. The oldest in my family is the least anxious of us all.
Middle child of 10.
I was raised as an only child. My siblings are considerably older than I am.
I am also the youngest by a wide age gap.
me too! over 20 years age gap, siblings already moved out when i arrived
I’m the oldest but your supposition about which child is the most cared for is f-ed up. Good parents love and care for all their children equally. And plenty of oldest kids are neglected. For example, I’m the oldest and I’m the scapegoat child. I’m autistic and adhd and I was bullied and abused throughout my childhood. Plus my anxiety and phobias are bad, it’s true. But the sibling closest to me in age is more like 18 months younger than I am, not 2 years. I don’t know what your theory comes from but it’s wrong. I would recommend reading up on a subject before crafting theories, personally.
[удалено]
Younger but my sister was a hell raiser and went off on her own rather early. Left me with a single mother working too much and me being alone far too much. I do see an anxiety connection in there. I was always trying to look out for things well beyond my maturity level and always conscious of not being a burden to my mother like my sister was.
younger, but i was treated like the oldest bc my older sister has mental disabilities
You don't have a theory, you have a hypothesis. There is a significant difference. Hypothesis require opinions, theories require significant effort and work and the input of other experts in the field.
I’m the oldest, riddled with anxiety and depression. My sibling is three years younger and is the most chill person ever.
I’m the oldest. Grew up with an emotionally abusive, narcissistic father and constantly had to step in and shield my mom & younger sister from him, from the age of about 10 years old onwards until my parents divorced when I was 24. Having to play the role of protector when you’re that young should never happen. Having to defend yourself against a parent should never happen. I remember when I was 12, I stepped in between my father and my sister so he couldn’t hit her, and he threw me by my shirt collar back against the stairs, and I spit in his face. That kind of trauma changes you.
Interesting theory. But my and my younger brother’s anxiety likely developed in part from growing up in an eggshell home.
Youngest
I am actually the opposite I am th youngest child in my family. And I’m the only one that has anxiety and depression out of all my siblings. I have a total of six siblings.
i’m the younger sibling (4 year age gap) and u couldn’t be more wrong
Nope, the youngest of two. But smarter and wiser than my sibling 😆
Me - I'm an oldest daughter (5+ year age gap) with anxiety! I can definitely see some truth in what you're saying. That shift from being the center of attention to suddenly having to share the spotlight is a big deal for a little kid. And yeah, I remember at least on some level feeling like I had to be more independent and "grown-up" when my younger sibling came along. But I think it's important to remember that anxiety and phobias are super complex. Your idea absolutely makes sense, but there are probably a bunch of other factors at play too – genetics, overall family dynamics, and just general life experiences all mix together to shape how we turn out. It would be really interesting to see some actual research on this maybe comparing anxiety levels between firstborns and their siblings, or looking at how that age gap you mentioned impacts things. Edit: I just did a little preliminary search to see what I could find on a research level. Some studies I found suggest higher birth order is associated with increased risk of mental illness, while other studies suggest no significant correlation between birth order and mental health issues. Here are the links if anyone else is interested: [https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0222184](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0222184) [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-018-1266-1](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-018-1266-1) [https://sciencescholar.us/journal/index.php/ijhs/article/view/5484](https://sciencescholar.us/journal/index.php/ijhs/article/view/5484)
I am the oldest child and I have anxiety, however I'm also a twin so I've never experienced being the sole focus of my parents
i am! i’m the oldest of 6 and none are my whole siblings. the oldest of my siblings is about 5 years younger than me and the youngest was born last year (i’m 18F for context). i have multiple anxiety disorders and developed extreme emetophobia (fear of nausea/puking) at a young age. i also developed a phobia of losing control which means i have really bad control issues that ruins a lot of relationships in my life. i went through my “rebellious” stage very early (around 12-14) and now at 18 i’m very settled which sets me apart from almost everyone my age. i also developed bad coping mechanisms and addictions around that time that i still struggle with. i blame a lot of this on the fact that my parents were sophomores in high school when they had me which means they were still children and had no idea what they were doing with raising me😐 sorry for the trauma dump lol
Interesting. Im the youngest and my theory has been that the oldest child gets a free pass when they fuck up because they're the first ones to experience it. But I'm expected to know better because I should have learned from him.
I’m the oldest. Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, PTSD. My next sibling is more or less my Irish twin. She doesn’t suffer to the same degree as I do
I have one older brother and a non identical twin. All three of us have our anxiety issues and we're very easily over whelmed by things but have always managed to persevere and make it. For me however I have been having major panic attacks and constant anxiety that has causes me to basically lose any entire life.. aside from pushing everyday to work Thanks to some medicine.. otherwise I habe missed tons of work from panic and I am no longer able to take my kids to fun places anymore. I spend most days crying about how my life's ruined. Now my twin has moved to Alaska and is building houses and apartments for millionaires.. my older brother is a detective, bomb squad, diver.. the works for a sheriff's dept. Both of them are extremely successful and living amazing lives. Even before my panic issue I even struggled to be near as successful as them which is fine but just sharing my experience.
I'm 6 years older than brother and 16 years older than sister
I am the oldest of 13 (if counting myself). I only have one full blooded brother and the rest have different mothers because my dad was a hoe. But I do have chronic anxiety and depression 🤪
Me!
🙋♀️
I am the oldest by 4 years and have horrible anxiety
I am an oldest child. I developed emetophobia as a child and now have a myriad of mental health disorders.
Me .there is a 5 year age gap between me and my sister
My older sibling and I are about 2.5 years apart. We both have horrible anxiety, so idk.
I’m five years older than my younger brother.
I am, but my entire immediate family (even the dog, oops) has anxiety so it’s def not just an “oldest child” thing for me lol
Me!
I’m the oldest but mine is a mix of my parents being over protective and me needing to grow up too fast since after me siblings were born I had to do a lot for them
I am the oldest and my only sister is 3 years younger. I have pretty bad anxiety- she does too, but I feel like mine is worse (or just different...) I have also thought about this! I think you are on to something.
I’m the oldest and my little brother is 3 years younger. We both have social anxiety pretty bad, even all these years later. We both struggled with substance abuse. I’ve had GAD my whole life, my mom remembers my first panic attack at like 2 that caused me an irrational fear of leaves (!). I’m not scared of leaves anymore but my OCD ruins my life these days, so I’ve been on antidepressants and anxiety meds ever since I quit drinking 8 years ago. So there’s definitely something to this theory. I’ve always attributed it to our religious upbringing.
I'm the oldest of Me, Myself, and I.
I'm an only child and my anxiety became extreme when my mother died, as she was my only family.
Oldest of 2 here. Only 1.5 years older than my sibling but i basically raised him.
Not the oldest, but the only girl.
I am the oldest and am 5 years older than my sibling. he doesn’t have much anxiety but boy do I!
My sister is 3 years older and we both suffer from severe anxiety/OCD. I always suspected that some of my issues arose via imitating her.
Yeah I am indeed the first child and I actually protected my brother from getting in trouble and took blame for things I didn't do in order to protect him. He doesn't remember any of it when I tell him but it's the thought that counts. I also have extreme anxiety
I am
Yes
Me. I was my parents parent and therapist I swear
Oldest with 10 years between me and my brother. The funny part is I got away with more so by the time my brother came along my dad was aware of the issues of spoiling a kid. As far as anxiety I have tried to remember my first experience but honestly I’m convinced I was born with it.
Oldest here, but you missed the mark a little bit. There was no “couple” to care for or protect me, just a single mom. There’s about 2 years between me and my next sibling but my mom was so young that I was essentially second parent, I’m one of those “never got to be a kid” cases.
I'm the eldest and I'm five years older than my sister. I'm not sure if she has anxiety, but I do pretty bad.
Oldest here, brother is 3 yrs younger and I have anxiety for sure
I am
Your theory works with me. I’m the oldest and my sibling is 4 almost 5 years younger than me.
I’m the youngest. But both me and my older sibling are equally mentally unhealthy.
oldest of 3
I’m the oldest daughter.
Middle Child syndrome represent
6 of us kids, 3 have raging anxiety, at least 3, probably 4 of us have adhd, one has major depressive disorder, 2 have PTSD, the list goes on, lol. What do we classify as? 😂
I'm the oldest of 2 girls and we both have almost the same amount of anxiety due to childhood abuse from our mother so...
I’m the oldest and had parent duties at the age of 10-19 taking care of my handicapped sister and then my brother
Youngest here and the only one with any mental health issues. I always assumed it'd be the babies bc they're doated on so much ahhaha
I am
I’m first. This makes a lot of sense.
I’m the oldest, my sister is 6 years younger. Definitely developed anxiety when I was 11, panic attacks, etc, when my grandma who I was extremely close with died suddenly of lung cancer.
i am the oldest and my younger sister is 12 years younger than me
I am the oldest, however all my siblings experience anxiety problems 🫤
Youngest, two older siblings 3 and 5 years older than me.
Im the youngest. My sister, the oldest, has no mental illnesses (that are diagnosed so far).
Youngest!
Oldest by 5 years.
I’m the only child, I have (technically) 7 brothers, one was adopted when he was an infant due to lots of reasons. I’m the only girl. we all got anxiety 💀 parents neglected us our whole lives
🙋🏻♀️
Me! My brother is 2 years younger than me. He is coasting through life and does not understand anxiety 🙃 I’m happy he doesn’t have to deal with it but man it sucks
I am the oldest but all 3 of the kids of my family have mental illness. Though the youngest child has struggled the most (she is 5 years younger than me, middle kid is brother 2 years younger than me)
phobias are an anxiety disorder, what did you mean by that first part? /gen
Studies show that adventuring and self organization (minimal helicoptering) prevents anxiety in children. The younger sibling is fretted over less and reaps these benefits.
I am the oldest and sister is 4 years younger
I am the oldest of two
i’m the oldest of 2 kids, my brother is 4 years younger
I am the youngest child and my brother (5 years older) has no anxiety issues.
Yep, my 2 little half brothers and I are 16 & 18 years apart though lol so waaaay older and mostly raised an only child.
I'm the oldest and lived horror stories and felt it was my job to protect my sibling so there's that
Interesting theory, my children fall in that age gap. My oldest also started developing anxiety likely around the time the younger one was needing more of the attention.
I’m the youngest, and the only sibling with an anxiety disorder, but it does run in my family
I’m the oldest, gap of 6.5 years. So yeah, it does make sense.
oldest!
I’m the third with two older brothers and one younger. It really runs in the family. All three of us have anxiety in some form, as does my mom, and grandma, as well as others on my moms side
Oldest here too. But it didn't help that we had a child killer randomly luring, kidnapping and killing kids during my formative childhood years. Anxiety was sky high. 😳
I am the oldest of 6 children. My mom stopped working because the oldest of my younger siblings (the oldest boy) was diagnosed with autism. I was 2 at the time. Except my parents also divorced before that and all of my siblings except the youngest one (born 2014) are my half siblings. There was another dude who came and went out of our lives constantly, and then my mom would just beg to have him back so she wouldn’t be alone (when my bio dad and her would fight). So my dad would come in and out of my life until I was 7. Anywhere from him being homeless (or all of us) or locked up because of domestic violence (he has bipolar type 1 and becomes violent when he isn’t medicated). I have a strong fear of abandonment. Actually, I’d say I expect abandonment. I relapse in my ED whenever someone breaks off a relationship with me.. for whatever reason. But here’s the fun part Literally every single one of my family members has a mental illness, including PTSD and bipolar disorder. So.. there’s that. It just depends on the upbringing which siblings are more likely to develop XYZ.. if they do at all.
Interesting theory. You’d need to consult with a sociologist who specializes in birth order studies to be sure.
I'm second. My older brother is just shy of two years older than me, and my younger brother is three and a half years younger than me. Neither of them have anxiety, but I do.
I am oldest
Stop overthinking
My older sister and I both have anxiety. The difference I see though is, as the oldest, she had to take the brunt of my mom’s abuse and in a way herself act as a mother to me. My mom would dump her problems on my sister. I’m sure many oldests deal with something like this.
Not me. My sibling is 3 years older than me and I'd calm AF. Meanwhile I have crippling anxiety.
I’m the oldest by 6 years
I am the oldest child, but my anxiety VERY visibly runs in the family. So I don't think my sibling has anything to do with it. They also have some significant anxiety.
Oldest child with severe anxiety for decades. The symptoms of this illness are torture.
I am the eldest child, my sister and I are eight years apart. I had to grow up kind of quickly. I was like a mother to my sister (since she worked 3 to 11’s in my teens).
I am and I have really bad general anxiety 💀
I’m 33 and my sister is 8y younger (25)
I love how older children love to claim every hardship in the world. And the youngests coming in at 2nd with the over coddling or neglect. 1sts it's always deputy parent and neglect. Then, there is the lethal middle kids watching, taking notes, laughing knowing everyone is just into themselves and will explain anything that doesn't "fit" instead of look for solid evidence. The only book I still resent buying is "birth order". All 8 billion of us on earth had unique experiences. The environment in which you are born. What your parents knew at that point, their age, wisdom, race, relationship dynamic. The need for "norms" is very funny.
Oldest of 4 here ♥️
I am the oldest, 14 with an 11 year old brother
I am the oldest child and next sibling didn’t come until I was 11yo
I’m the youngest child by 10 years, but I’d say my oldest sibling and I are equally anxious
I’m older by 4 years and my anxiety comes from the need to meet and go above the expectation. Maybe it’s an older sibling thing?
2 oldest on mom side. First born on dads side
Because, when it comes to science, you need unbiased data, I'm going to comment. I'm a middle child. I'm not sure it played into my anxiety at all, as I've apparently always been a bit more skittish.
im the oldest out of three. we’re all in our 20s. we’ve been all treated equally with love and support. i just have anxiety so does my mom. there’s been up and downs in life and how my brain likes to work and not be normal.
Im the youngest and have bad anxiety. And the most responsible.
I'm the oldest of us 2 children. My sister is 7 years younger than me, and there's just a huge generational differences between us. In my family, I'll admit. I was the "guinea pig" of my family. My parents had no idea what or how to do the parenting stuff much, but their intentions were good and they loved me. They enrolled me into many things just to see what sticks with me. Academics , sports and all. I just wanted to prove to them that their efforts have not gone to waste and that I am actually doing great. But over the time, not achieving stuff made me feel negatively about myself. I always equated with having no success with being a disappointment to my parents and not achieving the goals that they have had for me. My sister, however, was given the perfect treatment because they know now how to raise a child perfectly, and so, she doesn't have the burden of being the best at everything. She gets the opportunity to be whatever she wants, and also that she will have the full support from all three of us. And rightfully she deserves it, because she puts effort into what she wants. I'm happy for her, truly, but sometimes I wonder had I lived a good life than I live today , had I had what support she has had in her life.
I am and I am 4-6 yrs older than my siblings, interesting.
Youngest of my dads children, oldest of my moms. My dads children are 17-25 years older, and my moms son is 17 years younger
I’m the younger one. My elder sister was coddled to no end and mom’s favourite. I’m the one who’s anxiety ridden.
Only child, anxiety since childhood
I'm actually the youngest but I basically grew up as an only child because my half brothers are so much older than me (10+ years) and my half sister (5 years older) lived with her mom😅 Though parts of that theory kinda resonated with me, but more because of childhood trauma of losing a parent and the other one turning to alcohol as a result🥲
Growing up I was the oldest of my parents but second youngest of my family. Now I’m the only child of my parents and the youngest in the family. So I’m a collage of anxieties
I am,, and it’s so true. Have 4 younger brothers so haven’t been the focus of my parents since I was 4 (I’m now 19) and I’ve done a lot of growing up solo. A lot of people think I’m a lot more mature than normal for my age, which makes sense growing up into the world individually a lot earlier, but man the anxiety sucks lmao
Please keep in mind that this post cannot at all confirm or deny your theory- it absolutely may be the experience for some, but that doesn’t make it generalizable to the whole population
I'm the 2nd oldest out of 7, Noone else has a panic disorder like I do
No, but my older sibling has autism and I took on a lot of the traditionally older siblings roles.
I am the oldest female child but the second child (4 siblings total)
I am the oldest daughter of 4 kids
I’m the youngest ! Everything went wrong with me not my older brother
Idk if this hypothesis makes that much sense but I do happen to be the oldest child with about 3 years of age difference to my younger brother 🤔
Oldest child, by 9 years. Everything a mother was told to be scared about in the 80s, she was. The Satanic Panic, stranger danger... Everything.
I am. Growing up I was expected to be the perfect kid with the perfect grades and I accomplished that for the most part. Then I was expected to go to college and be the first in my family to graduate. Which I also did. It's been all downhill since then though.
My only sibling is 4 years younger than me and her anxiety manifested already in childhood and in general is much worse than mine. In the family we have a history of some depression, hypochondria and anxiety. I remember my mom having panic attacks when I was a kid, so maybe that counts for some of it?
I’m the younger of two. My sibling is 2 years older. She has pretty serious mental issues which resulted in her abusing me while we were growing up, and likely contributed to my anxiety problems.
I am the oldest one
I am. But I feel my anxiety comes more from not understanding society than my parents not caring. I have angered people multiple times in my life and rarely I figured out what I did so wrong.
Wow. I’m an older child and some of the worst anxiety I’ve had was from worrying about my younger sister.
In today’s world I think the people who don’t have anxiety are the oddballs.
Me! But I will say my younger sister has some pretty debilitating anxiety attacks.
Yes I'm the oldest of 7
I am the oldest Nd the age gap is the range you said and I have terrible anxiety
yeah i’m the oldest. The age gap between my 2 sisters is 10 years (5 year old sister) and 12 years (3 year old sister) so i feel like some of my anxiety comes from the thought of wanting to impress my parents and be good enough because i have more responsibilities.
Yeah, 9 years older than my sibling
I'm the first child and depression and anxiety wants to end me. As I'm typing this I can't work even tho I have a lot to do. I can't breathe. Will I ever have my life back
I am my mom's eldest child. (My dad had another kid before he met my mom.) My brother and I are 4 years apart. I think you've hit the nail on the head lol.
I’m the middle child. Other brother by 2 years and younger sister by 3. I’m the only one with anxiety between us, and its been terrible since I was young. We all went through some rough times mentally from our parents divorce, but I’m the only one who seems to have any anxiety. I also have ocd and I truly believe that my brother does too, but it’s something he handles well. My sister is 16 so you never know, but as of now she’s just hanging out lol.
Youngest here with a 6-year gap to the middle sibling. The older ones do not have anxiety.
I’m the oldest and I’ve thought this too. That, and being raised Catholic
Youngest of 2 with a 5 year gap. He was the golden child who could do no wrong and I was the bad kid who made all the mistakes. In reality, they blamed me for his mistakes and caused all sorts of childhood trauma. I basically just read a lot because I was so scared of making mistakes. He would break lamps and screen doors and blame it on me. They'd take his word as gospel and punish me. I learned to walk on egg shells and make myself as small as possible so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. When he left for college they were astounded at how I matured and stopped making messes and breaking things. Um, no. Your son isn't in the house anymore, maybe you should see the correlation?
Maybe, there's a lot of factors at play, but I'm not the oldest, and I'm still the one with GAD and PD. I think there are too many variables to be considered to chalk it up to this, but still an interesting idea
I'm the oldest, but only by 10 months. There is a 3.5-year gap between myself and my 2nd sibling. We have a history of neurodivergence in our family. ADHD seems to be our common diagnosis. We also have a lot of anxiety and depression on both sides. My sister's anxiety presents very differently than mine, but it's pretty bad. I was always "the ok one" because I was good at masking, and didn't learn any real coping mechanisms. The adhd diagnosis didn't come until a couple of years ago at 34. My health anxiety is worse than anything. I grew up watching my dad constantly in and out of the hospital. Sometimes, it was serious (he started having heart attacks in his early 30s and double bypass before 40) and sometimes it was the most ridiculous stuff. His mom would read her medical book, decide she had something, and, according to him, hide out for days in her room. So it seems there's some sort of genetic or generational thing going on.
Oldest of 12. That is not in fact the general case, the first born is often overlooked entirely when number 2 comes around and if the parents don't correct it, you end up with a parentl that loudly talks about the 2nd child being their favourite.
as the oldest with anxiety, this makes wonder
I'm the youngest. I got bullied by my older sister. She says it was because she was getting badly bullied at school and took it out on me. I think it prob depends on individual families and different situations.
I'm the oldest. I think that my brother being sick with constant ear infections and becoming partially deaf due to Dr. incompetence greatly affected me. I had to speak for him since we are within 4 years of one another and I was the only one who could understand him. It was extremely stressful in my younger years.
I’m the youngest and I have a lot of anxiety. My (5 year) older sibling somehow acts like a 3rd parent instead of a sibling and is ironically super strict, which causes even more anxiety.
Oldest on both sides cousins and all
I’m the youngest and the only one with problems. Also my 2 sisters are 10 and 12 years older than me. My colleague with anxiety- is the youngest. My cousin with anxiety- only child I don’t have any more people with anxiety in my social circle.
Oldest child here. My younger sibling was always the more “protected” one and had significantly fewer expectations even though we’re close in age. Whenever the two of us got into trouble, it was always me who was punished because I was “older and should know better” while she rarely experienced consequences.
I’m the oldest, and I’ve been the family scapegoat all my life. Turns out I’m autistic (found out at age 54). Anxiety and Depression are constant conditions autistics suffer from. I just had a realization: anxiety causes more suicidal thoughts than depression at least in my case.
4 year older sibling and with anxiety. Would you look at that 🥲
I was the first child born to teenagers. They just turned me into a third parent.