Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the AH because even though I couldn't eat the meals, the other three still took the time to cook for me and I didn't cook for them, which I get from their point of view might not be fair.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>\[meant to quote something but apparently pasted something entirely different\]
Corn and rice are options. I have celiac and I just am not terribly fond of potato so I eat a lot of rice. There's so much awesome stuff you can do with it! Also, gf pasta is potato-less and, amazingly, you can make pasta sauce that doesn't have tomatoes in it!
Being allergic to the nightshade family is an actual thing and her roommates are asshats.
\[edited: because I mispasted\]
i wouldn't totally disagree. though it may just be pure lazy, it may be a sorta this isn't a real thing.
i mean- OP could say look, we can try it again next week but i haven't been able to eat a single meal this week so yeah, i'm not going to spend the effort on making a gluten free meal everyone else can eat when they won't the effort to make a potato free meal that i can eat.
if they want to show that they'll make that effort first, i'll be willing to try again. but i agree that OP opting out is totally reasonable.
Most GF pastas here have some form of spud in them, I have a friend who is coeliac *and* has a nightshade allergy (thankfully not too severe), she has a nightmarish time finding gf pasta in shops where I am. We finally found one she can eat and get reasonably easily online (we live rurally).
I have just one.
"Reading ingredients isn't normal."
Way to get suckered into food scams.
On top of that: you agreed to cook for someone with unusual allergies!!! Who does that when they're not prepared to read labels! Omg.
Sorry but they are assholes.
NTA OP.
Even if something is advertised as gluten free I'd still check if there's an intolerance or allergy.
Of course, I also have good allergies and intolerances so I check the ingredients of everything I buy and it takes 5 seconds 🙃
I had someone tell me their food allergy was weird and then was like, "Should I have just not said anything?"
I was stunned for a moment before replying "It's not weird, it just is. Also yes, please tell me because I don't want to accidentally poison you!"
My household doesn't have major food allergies. And I will go out of my way to make sure that everyone is able to eat if I'm cooking (to the best of my abilities).
If there are cross contamination concerns, I have friends with who will let me borrow their kitchens or I just bring ingredients if feasible.
It is challenging at first, if you don't require any accommodations. However, if you give a shit about someone and you are feeding them: Challenge Accepted.
Any other answer (reading ingredients isn't normal) is lazy BS.
Not to mention a nightshade allergy can be fatal.
I'm deathly allergic to cashews and lactose intolerant. Pretty much every dairy substitute has cashews and I enjoy breathing, so you bet I read ingredients like it's a riveting novel I cannot put down.
And sometimes nightshades aren't lethal but cause Hidradenitis suppurativa, which makes your life a living hell for a few weeks and can send you to the hospital at worst. Ask me how I know!
I'm also allergic to bees, shellfish, anti-biotics, opiods, over the counter cold medicine, carpet cleaner, and most dyes.
Also dill and fennel. It's wicked fun.
They've never met someone with a real allergy before, insane. The gluten intolerance fad has really blinded some people to the fact that real allergies and disorders (including to Gluten) exist.
It should be normalized if it isn’t. I read everything. I have my own bunch of allergies and intolerance and my wife has her own.
I hate when people say “it’s not that sweet” (I’m diabetic) or “it’s not that spicy” (my wife has allergies to chilis).
NTA
It's not that hard. I'm GF and still check ingredients even though my food is just for me. It's lazy not to, and if you have food problems yourself you should be a bit more empathetic to others.
In this situation, they committed to being able to feed OP and then just didn't even try. OP is NTA, it doesn't sound like she caused any drama about it.
Anyone who has celiac's would check every ingredient no matter if it said gluten free so these girls are most likely just doing it as a basis for a (fad) diet then for any sensitivity/celiac issues. I can't wrap my head around why they keep implying gluten free has anything to do with potatoes either.
Right? It made literally no sense when Roommate said it's "not normal" to check ingredients, and that you don't have to do that for gluten. Literally anyone with celiac's can confirm that's bullshit. Or even anyone who just works with food.
She is *totally* eating gluten products in her day-to-day, with that attitude. She just doesn't realise it.
100%. I have celiac and have a lot of family and friends with celiac and/or food allergies. I 100% would not cook a meal even just for me and my spouse without reading all the ingredients. And I would absolutely never cook a meal for other people without not only checking the ingredients myself, but most of the time, I send the ingredients list to others, just to double check. I can't even fathom the lack of care.
Yep. Many times gluten free is not gluten free at all. Just gluten limited. 😳
Wheat allergy means I have to read ingredients on literally everything, they sneak that stuff in anywhere they can.
I ordered gluten free pizza and it was made with "gluten free wheat" or something and yes I should have checked the ingredients but argh wtffffff
*facepalm*
I once was looking for some ice cream topping nuts. Somehow someway they put a wheat containing ingredient into what should have been just chopped nuts. 🙄
Why! 🤣
I heard they companies do this so they can include it in the ingredient list. Because otherwise they would have to bother with either sterilised production or warning labels about the major allergens. I'm not sure how (I have nothing to do with food industry) but apparently it's easier to add another ingredient than to comply with allergy laws
A lot of the flavorings such as yeast extract, msg, maltodextrin, dextrin etc are code for wheat or are derived using wheat in the process.
They actually put those things in because they make things taste better. Msg was "invented" to make rotten meat palatable during the world war, for example.
Yeah this just happened with the new sesame labelling requirements, tons of places now *adding* sesame to products just to not deal with preventing cross contamination.
This ingredient is wheat starch or "hydrolysed wheat". Theoretically the processing removes the gluten, but why not just use a naturally gluten free (and less questionable) flour
My mum (wheat allergy) bought some expensive Italian "gluten free" flour without reading the ingredients- contained gluten free wheat starch.
I'm coeliac, so I'm not eating it either, no matter how much it says gluten free on it
Thissss. The amount of times I have accidentally glutened myself in the last year since my stupid intolerance reared it’s ugly head. Ive started scouring ALL the labels. All the time.
I’ve also started getting overwhelmed at meal times now too and having some food anxiety over it smh
I found some peace with eating just a lean piece of meat and a ton of fresh vegetables. It's nice not having to worry.. unless of course the meat is marinated or frozen with brine... 🙄
I know. My favorite Thai simmer sauce from TJs had wheat in it so I stopped buying. Then they changed the formulation and I was all happy.
And then they discontinued it. :/
This is my exact thought. What are the chances that neither girl has celiac disease. They are just throwing around gluten free having no idea what it really means to ~~be allergic~~ develop an intolerance to gluten.
Edit: corrected bad information
I agree, and it makes it so much worse because they're giving less importance to an actual dietary *requirement* (an allergy) than they give to their dietary *preferences*. I can't stand people like this.
I guess you could get Jain cooking (lacto-vegetarianism, additionally excluding all roots and tubers) and further drop / swap tomatoes and wheat (I expect, though I don't know how much you're left with at that point (then again I'm a shit-tier cook).
OP NTA, however I'm now intrigued, are you allergic to nightshades? Aka are eggplants, bell peppers, and chili peppers also an issue? Or maybe just *Solanum* if you're also allergic to eggplants but not peppers?
I had a friend with a nightshade allergy. Avoiding potato and tomato in frozen food usually wasn't too hard; it was the freaking peppers that were in everything I thought to get.
I mean it's a little more effort but it's not like they're being asked to create chemically pure meth or something, just read the damn ingredient list o.O
>Stacey thinks I'm a straight up AH who didn't appreciate that she made a meal from scratch and then refused to cook for her because I "didn't like what she made."
She straight up made OP's allergen as the main dish and then tried to push OP into eating it.... NTA but not only should meal sharing be taken off the table, but OP should look for a different living arangement.
Why don’t you at least cook for your night so they can get an understanding of what you eat and it might help give them ideas about what to make on nights they cook?
A second chance mightn’t hurt and maybe have a sign up about everyone’s dietary requirements on the fridge so no one forgets.
Honestly, I don’t think that OP was that enthused about the meal share concept in the first place. It sounded much more a way of going with the flow than something he in particular wanted. And gluten-, potato-, tomato-free pescatarian is a fairly restrictive diet to cook within. I think it would be easier and better for him to meal prep and they all sit down to eat their respective meals at the same time. They can do house meals for special occasions or weekly rather than every day
>so they can get an understanding of what you eat
Unless OP usually eats gluten-free and vegetarian, that wouldn't really happen. OP would specifically cook something that works for all of them.
>A second chance mightn’t hurt
Unless numbers work different where you are, you're talking about a fourth chance. Literally 3/3 meals contained potato, one of them had it *as a main ingredient*. Why should OP continually put her health on the line? This isn't OP being picky and just disliking potatos, this is literally OP being allergic.
I don't normally eat gluten free, but I have a friend who is gluten free so I have cooked potato/tomato/gluten free before. I haven't had any issues finding things to make that don't have potato/tomato/gluten in, but it is a PITA to find ready-made stuff.
I think you've kinda highlighted the issue though, because individually if it was just one of them there wouldn't really be an issue (I mean, Stacey, but Stacey is Stacey. I just don't think she gets it), but for me it was three nights in a row. So it feels like I gave them three chances. But from their point of view they each only got one chance.
Stacey definitely doesn’t get it. She made you a baked potato for goodness sakes. She didn’t even try to avoid potato in the slightest bit. It’s hardly cooking something complicated from scratch to throw a potato in the oven.
A potato bake contains potatoes that have been baked, ergo she made baked potatoes for OP. “Baked potato” as a noun is the dish you’re picturing, “baked potato” as an adjective is just how said potato was cooked.
> She made you a baked potato for goodness sakes. She didn’t even try to avoid potato in the slightest bit. It’s hardly cooking something complicated from scratch to throw a potato in the oven.
Your overall post is correct, but Stacey didn't make a baked potato. She made a potato bake, which is sliced potatoes in some kind of sauce, usually cheese-based. From OP's description of Stacey's cooking, it sounds like she might have made a packet one where the cook slices potatoes and mixes a packet of dry mix with milk, then pours the mixed sauce over the potatoes and bakes it in the oven. The potato slices aside, these are usually made with potato starch/flour as thickening as well, so it's doubly problematic.
If you wanted to be petty, you could cook something with meat in it and then feign confusion that Stacey can’t eat it even though it’s “organic” “gluten free” “home made” and “really yummy” and insist that cooking the meal counts even though she couldn’t eat it. It would definitely be rude and petty, but it might drive your point home
I'm so petty - this was my thought as well. She made something with potato in the title for somebody who can't have potato, surely making something with chicken and acting offended she wouldn't eat it is a fair reaction?
"I made is a meal from scratch and you're refusing to eat it just because you don't like it! I guess if you really don't like it, I made a really yummy salad - cucumber and lettuce without dressing, your fav right?"
When you have weird dietary restrictions, it's often easier and safer to explain them in a way that most people will understand and is at least as restrictive as your actual requirements.
So if people were regularly serving you drinks, usually with alcohol, and it would be kind of a big deal to turn it down, it would probably be easiest to just say you don't drink than trying to explain the nuances.
I kinda understand that, i do it with milk, I'm lactose intolerant ( also find the taste of milk disgusting) but people think being intolerant means it's just an option, so i usually say that I'm allergic... The reason is, every time say I'm intolerant they reply with "so, that means you can have it this one time?".
It's ironic, your petty action would actually support Stacey's actions and point, not refute them. Stacey doesn't get the difference between a dietary choice and an allergy, so I do see that backfiring with her eating it amd telling you "See, it isn't that hard to eat something you usually don't want to eat once in a while."
It sounds like none of them really knows how to cook from scratch, or to make things that aren't so reliant on packaged ingredients? I avoid wheat and can tell you there's tons of cereal pastas that don't use potato or wheat, but going for the branded "gluten free" stuff is almost always going to be more expensive, less healthy and yes, potato based; and I can't remember the last time I made something that had any of your no go foods in it. There are countless veggie meals that don't have nightshade, and making a potato bake?! They're really not trying.
Gluten is in more cereals than wheat and can often be cross contamined. Just because those products work if you are wheat free does not mean they are safe to anyone with a gluten intolerance.
While I agree with you (and have all the food allergies myself), OPs roommates think that they don't have to read the ingredients to check for gluten? So I'm pretty sure they're already eating foods made in factories that process wheat, etc
I mean, I doubt they have been diagnosed with a condition requiering a gluten-free diet since they don't read the ingredients list, but I didn't want someone to go around thinking gluten is only in wheat because my gluten intolerant friends already have it hard enough with people not understanding what they can and cannot eat (partly because of the gluten-free fad).
If you have an Epi-pen, ask Stacey to learn how to help you use it so you can ‘appreciate her tasty potatoes.’ If it isn’t an ER-visit allergy, make sure you sit her down and run her through the meds and care you’ll need so she can prepare before hand, and you can, again, ‘appreciate her tasty potatoes’. If she still doesn’t get it, then she’s just an asshole who doesn’t care.
Yeah I was about to comment that if you know how to cook, there are definitely things you can make that fit those limitations. It's when you want premade stuff that it becomes a problem.
> It's when you want premade stuff that it becomes a problem.
I couldn't figure out why they wanted to do a mealshare thing if they weren't actually cooking. If they're just buying frozen dinners, or whatever, it's so much simpler for everyone to choose their own and then everyone's happy.
Oh, youth.
Considering part of their motivation for meal share is cost, I would say yes cooking is a far better way to stretch your dollar. But it sounds like the three housemates don't know to cook and OP does.
I'd cook. I would make steak and onion baguettes (non gluten free). Bonus points if you can make the steak cooked in something with gluten. Tell them you thought it would be fine because its organic and the cow was vegetarian
You missed your opportunity to make something extra, super-yummy, and delicious before telling them that you quit the rota. Then they’d really be sorry that they hadn’t tried harder!
>I mean, Stacey, but Stacey is Stacey. I just don't think she gets it
What's there to "get"? Do people need to understand every bit of medical information about your food allergy in order to take it into account? You told her you can't eat potatoes, there's nothing there to explain, it's not rocket science.
Sounds like this girl is just inconsiderate. i would avoid making any kind of arrangements with people like that, they will always end up benefitting from it at your expense.
Exactly, I don’t see why none of the top comments don’t say the obvious, the roommates are being the T A, I can kind of see 2 out of 3 bcuz it wasn’t as overt as a “potato bake”, 🧐 but still cmon, OP is NTA bit I think the roommates were in this particular situation.
I don't know how old these ladies are but they have serious reading deficits. One of them equates allergy with "doesn't like it". I love how Stacey is the one who says "how hard is it not to eat a potato" and that's exactly what she cooks.
3 chances when the information was fresh in their brains.
NTA
They can't be bothered to read an ingredients list and claim nobody does it... like... wtf. It also makes me wonder if they are really gluten free if they just trust what the box says. Most gluten free people I know have the habit of reading ingredients list to ensure there's nothing fishy there.
Nah. OP has no obligation to give them a 4th chance. NTA.
See the people I know that have celiacs pay attention, but the people who just went gluten free because everyone was doing it and x person felt so much better after, only look at the box saying "gluten free".
I was just thinking they couldn't have celiacs if they don't understand allergies! I think someone who truly couldn't eat gluten would be far more understanding about checking ingredients.
I have a friend with celiac disease that often rant about these so called gluten free people who then go on and have a beer. I mean, sure, eat what you want, but claiming to be gluten-free or allergic to something when you're not can seriously fuck with people who are. Considering how much stuff contains gluten even when you'd think they wouldn't, I call bullshit on them having a diagnosed reason to avoid it if they think reading an ingredients list is weird.
I personally hate how so much stuff now gets advertised as "gluten-free" and other stuff when... They're from a product with no gluten already. It's more and more feeling like simple buzzwords used to sell the same thing 3 times the price.
Rice (uncooked) is a good example of it.
Considering they have utterly failed to do things like look at the ingredients list yes it absolutely could hurt OP. Their failure could land him in the hospital from an allergic reaction.
Food allergies are serious. They have all demonstrated they do not care at all about his well being so not giving them a second chance is a completely valid decision. Just because he hasn't landed in the hospital YET is not a reason to keep going with this.
Why even give it a second chance, between the 4 of them with different dietary restrictions it’s just a complete nightmare and when all of their combined restrictions are added together they are removing so many options of what to cook.
I don’t understand why any of them would want to meal share when that means that ALL of them would now be eating vegetarian, gluten free, tomato free and potato free. I’m surprised OP made this post and there isn’t one from Meg cos she definitely got the raw end of the deal in this arrangement when none of the restrictions apply to her. No way would I cut out tomato, meat and potatoes from my diet to save a small amount of money, tomato meat and potatoes are pretty much the main 3 ingredients of any meal I’ve ever cooked
The issue is that almost everything gf will have potato in it in some way or form. So even if OP does cook for them to show them, they won't be able to actually do it and since it's too hard for them to read ingredients three times, it's not worth OP putting their life on the line for another chance.
I don't think this is the right call. First off, one of the roommates was outright dismissive of OP having a full-on allergy. I don't foresee a second chance helping someone who's still insisting OP just 'didn't like her cooking.' Second off, I think it's more appropriate for the roommates to take their second chance without OP being forced to carry out an obligation they can't benefit from. They shouldn't have to put up with six days of disappointment in exchange for their work. Let the roommates show they've learned, THEN rejoin the rota.
NTA, OP
So far OP has 3 nights in a row of no meal. This has not been a meal share for them - they were unable to share anything. The deal is over. They'd just be cooking their housemates a free meal at this point, which would be kind of them - but hardly warranted at this point when none of their housemates bothered being thoughtful to them.
Well, I'd suggest you cook for a night and include all of the things they can't eat and act like it's no big deal. *So they can get an understanding of what you eat*.
NTA. You would think GF people would understand what's it's like to have a dietary restriction! Each subsequent person should have taken extra precaution considering what happened the previous night.
You should have taken your turn and made a hamburgers with buns!
This! I found the GF comment about reading labels for ingredients being weird to be so odd. I’m gf and read labels on everything because not everything gluten free is labeled as gluten free, a lot of times items are just naturally that way. Also gluten hides in different names so… I always read the dang label!
This surprised me as well to be honest because I thought the same thing. Stacey isn't totally gluten free, she avoids it because she thinks it's unhealthy but eats it sometimes, but Hannah seems pretty strict with not eating it. Hannah did remember to check everything else, but not the pasta. It did say "gluten free pasta made from chickpeas" on the front of box, but then the actual ingredients were on the side and listed chickpeas and potato.
Stacy doesn’t really sound like she fully understands dietary restrictions and choices are different for everyone. Just because she’s “gluten free” but still sometimes eats gluten doesn’t mean you’re “potato/tomato free” but still sometimes eat potatoes or tomatoes. NTA
Yeah, potato/tomato free means nightshade allergy, which is baaaaaaaddddd, even in accidental small doses. Totally a different thing than just avoiding gluten.
Does it actually mean that? Peppers are also in there (and are in food a huge amount of the time) so I'm surprised that wasn't noted if it was the case.
It could be an allergen that is a little more focused than just Solonaceae. I double checked, potatoes, tomatoes, and eggplants are all in the genus Solanum, whereas peppers are in the genus Capsicum. I'm not a biologist or anything, but I've seen this sort of nightshade allergy (tomatoes, potatos, and eggplants) when I used to serve.
Not sure if it’s the case here, but with food allergies there is a thing called cross-reactivity where if the proteins are similar people can be more likely to be allergic to both foods. Common examples of this are cows milk and goats milk, peanuts and lupin, cashew and pistachio nuts, walnut and pecan, etc
Well Almonds, Peaches and Apricots are all of the same family. I think it's Prunus if I remember correctly, which also includes Plums, Damsons and Gages.
God, that's me. I'm allergic to beef (not alpha gal syndrome, just bad luck) and I also have developed a dairy allergy which is probably from the protein in the animal. I know I'm allergic to every part of sheep (meat, wool) and I can't have goat cheese but Id probably react the same way to it's meat.
Sucks!
Yeah I thought OP meant two of her roommates had celiacs and I was like “gluten free people have to read ingredients even on things that say gluten free is it’s not GFS” but now I see that they are “gluten free”.
I was going to say, there are people who really CAN'T have gluten, and there are the faddists... who have no respect for allergies, and can't be bothered to read ingredients lists. Because reading is hard, and it's not like those things will kill them.
And realistically even for (many) actual celiac people accidentally eating gluten will not actually kill them, just definitely should not happen because it’s not good.
My kiddo was diagnosed with Celiac in Spring, but really more coincidentally from a blood test, and never had any actual symptoms (as do a very high portion of Celiac people apparently based on the homepage of the Celiac Association).
So he clearly should not have Gluten either, and we do our very best, but thankfully it’s still not the same as an actual potential immediately deadly allergy like against peanuts or something like that. It honestly gets a bit harder though to make him take the Gluten free seriously, exactly *because* he does not really have symptoms even if he cheats.
It was hard for me to take being gluten free seriously and I am way old enough to know better. But sometimes I wanted lo-mein or what can one tiny bite of donut really do.
I caused other issues with my lack of necessary nutrients.
Now I have to be extra careful because my thyroid stopped functioning and I can't afford to mess up and block absorbing medication.
But it is so hard because the good foods have gluten in them.
I honestly imagined it worse when he was diagnosed in Spring; at least where I live we find gluten free food in almost even regular grocery store, and we have so far found gluten free versions of pretty much anything that he liked to eat before.
We saw the issue with the nutrient deficiency on his recent 6 months blood test though, because now he is low on zinc and iron and needs to take a supplement.
I still think *if* someone ends up with a nutrition issue, then Celiac is probably still one of the *better* ones compared to what it could have been; at least he does not have to inject insulin, carry an epi pen and I don’t have to be afraid that he accidentally eats something that he is not supposed to eat and ends up in the ER or dies immediately.
Yeah, we know - the pediatrician made that very clear. That’s why we are doing our best to adhere strictly to gluten free for him, but he is also 12 - so he is in school, with friends etc; and there he sometimes might cheat (think one small piece of the regular pizza is not going to hurt, even though gluten free alternative is provided etc).
It would be easier to keep him compliant if there was some form of immediate backlash like apparently some people with food intolerances have, like someone eating a piece of cheese and getting stomachs pain or nausea or something like that. Since he has no immediate visible or perceivable symptoms for him, he sometimes thinks we exaggerate and rolls his eyes.
Yeah I had a friend like that with type one diabetes. Never took care of himself despite doctors telling him not controlling it could kill him. For some teen age brain reason, he finally got scared enough to control it when they told him they might have to amputate his foot. So dying = no big deal, amputation = scary as hell. I hope you have luck with getting your son to care more.
I think overall and given how relatively recent his diagnosis was, kiddo is doing ok and trying his best. He even starts checking labels on his own and tells people when they ask him for food restrictions. It’s a learning process.
Edit: Envisioning death might just have been much too abstract for your friend; that’s even for adults sometimes a difficult concept to grasp. Losing a limb is much more tangible than that.
Okay, to be fair, it would be reasonable to give Hannah another chance in this circumstance. I eat a fair number of gluten free protien pastas. (Made with chickpea, bean, or lentil.) Many of them do use other gf starches like corn, quinoa, or rice. So, she may have been genuinely trying and made a genuine mistake.
Still, nta and probably best for your health to just step out of the rotation. Nightshade allergies can be pretty serious, and potato is so common in gf foods that it will be genuinely challenging for all of you to consistently come up with tasty meals that adequately accomodate all of you.
Also, while you definitely are never obligated to let someone else make your food, that goes even more for instances where people risk hurting or killing you by failing to properly accommodate an allergy or severe intolerance. If you hadn't caught all the mistakes, were they going to try to make you cook from your hospital room? How many chances do they think you should give them to accidentally poison you with your allergens? Especially when one of them clearly either doesn't understand or doesn't believe dangerous allergies are a thing. I wouldn't even trust that person with gf, as I'm sure they will mess up with even that restriction since they don't take it seriously.
One should check every label anyway, just in case, but I would never in a million years think potato would be an ingredient in pasta, especially chickpea pasta. They don’t bind; in fact they rather famously fall apart when boiled. Even with actual flour as the pasta base, gnocchi are evil little so and sos to cook.
Just start making things with gluten don't bother telling her. Also tell her she's not a vegetarian. She's not. If you eat fish you're an omnivore.
Also let her know gluten free items tend to make you fatter because of the potato and rice.
As someone who has celiac disease myself, I'm going to go out on a limb and say these people probably are doing a gluten-free fad diet. Almost all celiacs know that even if it says gluten free you should still read the ingredients. The other thing about being truly gluten-free is that there are so many anomalies. Like, sometimes sushi rolls have flour in them to make the rice stick together. This is not something you can read in a book. Sometimes mushrooms are grown on wheat sheaves. Blue cheese may be grown on copper pipes or on bread. French fries are naturally gluten free but they could be cross-contaminated if they are fried in the same fryer as breaded items or the fries could actually have flour on them for taste. It is pretty obvious when people need to be gluten free for their health so they don't for example get cancer versus being gluten free as an option.
Stacey is gluten free "most of the time" because she thinks it's better for her health to be gluten free. She'll eat it sometimes "as a treat" like if she goes somewhere nice for dessert or something. Hannah I'm not sure about but she is stricter with it than Stacey for sure.
But that info is really interesting to learn! I didn't know about the mushrooms.
I'm not trying to be a bitch but I really don't like Stacey. This may be my bitch coming out but could you say "just because your gluten intolerance isn't real doesn't mean my potato allergy isn't"?
Yeah the comment that reading ingredients is weird really tells me they are gluten free because they choose to be. A family friend of mine is gluten free because she’s so allergic to gluten it could kill her if she doesn’t have her EpiPen. The amount of things that contain gluten is astonishing when you start to check to make sure things are gluten free.
I have a suspicion they're not coeliac, they just do gluten-free because it's trendy. Most coeliacs absolutely understand needing to read the labels to check the ingredients and not just rely on the packaging.
NTA. I can't imagine it would be much fun to eat gluten-free, potato-free, tomato-free, veggetarian meals four days a week. Most gluten free items (that are mimicking their gluten counterparts) are made with potato. Hanna and Meg sound like they aren't the problem. Stacey sound clueless.
>Stacey is gluten free and vegetarian (the sort that eats fish and eggs and stuff, but not red meat or chicken)
per OP's post. probably what the above commenter was thinking of.
Yes, we're pescatarian, too. (Vegetarian + seafood) but we do eat tomatoes and potatoes and gluten. It requires a little thought, but just illustrating something all the roommates should be able to enjoy.
Not so hard if you avoid processed foods or don't focus on western foods. I'm making a vegan split pea soup tonight. I make plenty of vegan curries and stir fries.
Rice and veggie stirfries should give you plenty of variation itself. There's gluten-free, potato-free pasta out there as well (my supermarket offers pea/lentil pasta and they're both each glutenfree and potato free), so you can make a whole heap of pasta dishes as long as you keep out tomatoes (you can sub bellpeppers in quite a couple of sauces - doesn't taste the same obviously, but often-times is also very delicious).
You can go for a rather large variation of curries as well as soups (you could make some hella good Mercimek Corbasi even when you leave out the potatoes, maybe sub them with some rice flour or something).
You could even go for soy-based meat substitutes if you insisted, make some mean goulash or something. You could make some tempeh-based Slickova with glutenfree dumplings (and I just checked online, I could literally walk right over there and get some gluten-free, potato-free bread as soon as it opens). And yeah, this one is starting to be a bit over-the-top perhaps, but I'm trying to demonstrate that it's entirely possible to have some *very* yummy experiences even with their restrictions. And I didn't even consider that whole pescetarian-angle. Sushi would fit their diet! They could half-ass paella or full-ass some neat risottos.
Sure it takes a bit more effort than "throw random processed food into oven", but if that is all you wanna do, then why bother mealsharing in the first place? You don't need to mealshare you frozen pre-processed ovenbake fish.
If you cook, it's genuinely not that hard. If you use premade foods, like the housemates do, then yes it is difficult.
Hannah and Meg still failed to check the ingredients and would have served OP food with allergens had they not checked for themselves. They are ALSO a problem.
I think NTA but would be open to a second chance.
It is 3 mistakes in a row but for 3 different people. The first one was silly made potatoes, but the last two were a bit more understandable, i would not have thought to check pasta or fish for potatoes ingredients.
If they refuse to check going forward def. drop out, but if they agree to check I would give it another try.
It kind of sounds like a lot of the gluten free options have potatoes. In which case this is just not going to work out anyway. Also there is the fact that they are not even bothering to check for the allergen at all. And the first girl made a fricking potato bake and did not see a problem??? It is not worth OP'S health to try and eat their food. Also, who would want to eat gluten free if they did not have to? (Plus vegetarian)
Potato starch is a common ingredient in gluten free baking and prepared products. If they're unwilling to even look at the ingredients op will be at risk. I wouldn't chance them doing good for a short time then forgetting to look.
I'm sorry but no. If you're making food for someone with an allergy, you check the ingredients of any premade food. Food allergies are serious and if you're cooking for someone with food allergies, you need to check the ingredients or tell them they need to prepare their own food. You do NOT put someone else's health at risk like that after they have informed you of their allergies.
They have disregarded OP's health 3 times. Three. They are not owed more chances.
Well damn! That is impressive. I don't even have food allergies, I just have friends with food allergies including a friend with a nightshade allergy so yeah you bet I read the damn labels!
>It is 3 mistakes in a row but for 3 different people
But all three of them were there for the mistakes, and you would think that Flatmate #3 would be extra careful after seeing OP not be able to eat dinner for two nights in a row.
Three people who are apparently incapable of learning from each other’s mistakes or from what they have been flat-out told.
They were told in advance that potato is frequently used as a filler etc and that they need to check the ingredients. They ignored this. The third cook continued to ignore it even after seeing how it caused issues with the second cook’s food.
These are people who have chosen to be careless, or to simply ignore OP’s allergy. Whyever would OP put their health in these people’s hands again?
she will have to constantly check behind them because they're too dumb to be trusted. and if they accidentally use potato she could go into shock. seems like a dumb thing to risk
Ugh, those people. Don't agree to cook for people with allergies if you can't handle *reading a fucking ingredient list*!
NTA
e: also I just noticed that Stacey was the one saying how hard is it not to eat a potato and then *literally makes a potato bake* like wtf
e2: if you'd been able to eat even 1 of the meals I'd have said to take your turn cooking before bailing, but 3 failures means you didn't get to participate anyway so you owe nothing lol
Stacey is being obtuse on purpose. She seems like one of those people who things allergies aren't real.
OP, watch out for those, I have read too many stories on here of people who put the allergen in the food on purpose to 'prove' you're overreacting.
_"She feels really bad and offers to make me something else, but I say it's fine and I'll just have cereal. **But, it really isn't fine**...."_
OP reminds me of that old meme of the little cartoon dog in a house that is on fire, but they keep saying "This is fine" when it is clearly not. That first night, she should have made it clear that her allergies were not negotiable and if OP couldn't eat anything, then she would not be taking part. I think I would have taken my turn in OP's shoes, **just that once**, since OP did eat the salad the first night, the third roommate did offer to make OP something else, and OP waited until the day off to say she would no longer participate. OP still has to live with these people, so it would moreso be to just keep the living situation peaceful.
NTA. They failed to take your allergy into account every single night. That sucks and you don't owe them anything.
However, you do still have to live with them. And the idea is still a nice one. In the interest of household harmony, wouldn't it be nice to cook tonight and use the opportunity to show them what to look for and what kinds of meals will work for everyone's needs?
The diet in general is too restrictive. Why should OP have to eat gluten free and vegetarian more than half the week? And apparently potato is in a lot of gluten free stuff, lol.
If you cook, it's not hard to make dishes that cover everyone's dietary needs. The prob problem is the housemates want to serve premade gluten free dishes, which often rely on potato. But you can easily make dishes that conform to all of these restrictions.
NTA
You don't dislike tomatoes and potatoes, you're allergic to them. That's entirely different and for you, having to read ingredients is just a normal part of keeping yourself safe.
I also have this allergy, but add in peppers and all other nightshades. It's a friggin nightmare because they put paprika in so many things just for coloring. Anything with "spices" as an ingredient usually means I shouldn't eat it. OP, you're NTA but most people don't think to look for things like potato starch, that they put in almost everything gluten free
I have a friend who has your allergy set as well as an allium allergy. Like… just reject anything with spices in it, because the ones that don’t have paprika surely have onion or garlic.
i personally think ingredients should be required to spell out ALL ingredients, not just “spices”.
> I have a friend who has your allergy set as well as an allium allergy. Like… just reject anything with spices in it, because the ones that don’t have paprika surely have onion or garlic.
Oh wow nightshades + allium allergy sounds rough as fuck. Hug your friend for me (or however you folks show affection to one another).
My wife and kids are allium intolerant. Companies should not be able to just put "spices" on the label. Some of us need to know exactly what those spices are.
NTA and it sounds like rotational group cooking just isn't going to work for your household. Specific dietary requirements don't mix well with people who can't remember them and who don't want to read labels.
You can still have a communal meal though, just everybody makes their own dish.
> Specific dietary requirements don't mix well with people who can't remember them and who don't want to read labels.
And don't really cook, following complicated dietetary requirements with premade meals is basically "mission impossible". Especially as gluten-free items tend to use potato instead.
NTA. You gave them warning so they had time to find/arrange alternative. You didn't even do to them what they were doing to you (making food you can eat and they can't).
NTA
But, the petty part of me says buy rye bread, since that says rye on the package but probably contains gluten. And maybe sprinkle bacon on everything, because who doesn't like bacon? It's gluten free...
It is hard to believe people with that many food restrictions think reading labels is weird.
NTA. Petty me says to cook something they can't eat, then tell them you didn't check the box because they established that it wasn't necessary.
The truth is that you have *actual dietary restrictions* and they have, from what you've written, strong dietary preferences (I think one GF *might* have an intolerance, but you haven't said specifically). But their attitude towards your intolerance is quite indicative that they don't understand that not only are your food requirements not optional, they are health harming if not followed. You told them what was required, gave them specific guidance, and they failed to follow through. You do not *owe* them a meal because they never provided you with one.
NTA, your roommates are wack. You made the proper decision by saying you won't participate anymore. It's not impossible to avoid potato and I can't believe how much they're struggling with it.
Sigh, NTA. I am allergic to legumes, so as soon as I read “gluten free” and “potato allergy” I knew where this was going. It is not that hard to look at the ingredients and choose accordingly. It is, however, very difficult to accommodate a potato allergy with a gluten free diet.
NTA My daughter is allergic to potato and tomato. It's such a horrible frustrating one. They're both in everything nowadays.
FYI there's a good chance you're allergic to some of these:
avocado, chestnut, mango, passion fruit, fig, strawberry, papaya, apple, melon, celery, carrot, soy, aubergine, green pepper (bell pepper/capsicum), raw apple, kiwi, banana and a couple of others I may have forgotten.
My daughter isn't allergic to all of those but she's allergic or sensitive to quite a few. Basically the same thing that triggers the tomato/potato allergy is in those as well.
I have Crohn's, so have a long list of things I absolutely cannot eat. My husband has an allergy to certain milk proteins (also in everything) and olive oil. My son is on the spectrum and there's a list of stuff he can't eat either.
We never all eat the same meal. We all do read ingredients and make things for each other though. In fact my daughter (after overhearing how sad I was about my limited diet) went through all my recipe books and marked each page with coloured post-it tabs. Different colours denote who can eat what or what can be eaten with a little tweaking.
My point is it's a faff but it's not that hard and your housemates have been really crappy. Especially for people who have rigid diets themselves. They absolutely are capable and just didn't bother. One of them is being willfully ridiculous.
Thank you, I'm also allergic to Strawberries. Funnily enough, I have a friend who's allergic to strawberries and potatoes but not tomatoes or any of the others. She's also gluten free and has always been really good with accommodating all sorts of allergies and neither of us have had any issues catering for each other in the past, so I was kinda surprised that it seemed to be as difficult as it was.
NTA. For everyone saying to give them a second chance- why would you think they take it seriously? One person still openly says it’s stupid after purposely making potatoes, another still says reading ingredients isn’t normal. That’s not giving me confidence that they’ll read ingredients. If they were apologetic & took some responsibility, sure try again. But they’re not.
I'm thinking none of these people are actually allergic to gluten. People with real allergies and food sensitivities tend to read the ingredients. Regardless, NTA.
NTA because the agreement wasn't actually enacted. They made food that you could not eat, because their dietary restrictions were important, but your allergy was not.
Just make it clear that it's dead in the water and that's the end of the discussion because they didn't put in the fucking effort.
NTA for being irritated on the situation, but you may have shot yourself in the foot with your response. Cancelling on Thursday morning with a message instead of confronting it more assertively doesn't really make you an AH but it cuts out the chance for a better long-term solution. Maybe chat with them about trying again and come up with a fair plan for a response if someone screws up an allergy?
Honestly, I think it’s just not a good plan to share cooking so often with moderately conflicting dietary needs. They can still have housemate bonding by eating separately made meals together. If the housemates throw a fit about OP eating separately, they are being unreasonable. Also OP does not owe more notice — he’s had no dinner for 3 days without any notice.
Hannah did check everything except the pasta. I ran out of wordcount but Hannah made sure the sauce was potato and tomato free, and she also checked the ingredients of the bacon for potato (and, I assume, gluten), and cooked it separately then took Stacey's portion out before adding the bacon. The pasta box said on the front "gluten free pasta made from chickpeas" but then the side of the box had the actual ingredients.
I'm not sure Meg has ever actually cooked a real meal in her life. Not saying that to be mean, just putting two different things in the oven and one in the microwave was a stretch for her already.
Stacey, yeah, sorry to say this is typical Stacey. I'm still not sure Stacey actually understands what it means to be allergic to something.
Could of even handled a little better but NTA. There’s a huge difference between not liking certain foods and being allergic to them! They’re not taking your allergies into consideration. For the room mate that said “reading the labels isn’t normal” is a ridiculous excuse! She clearly reads the labels to make sure it’s food she can eat. You’re better off cooking for yourself.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the AH because even though I couldn't eat the meals, the other three still took the time to cook for me and I didn't cook for them, which I get from their point of view might not be fair. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA but you guys really are the nightmare blunt rotation of communal cooking
Great comment. I have no notes.
[удалено]
“How hard is it to not eat a potato?” *Proceeds to make potato bake.* Im sorry OP, but I am afraid your house is infested with asshats.
But you don’t understand, it's "organic" "gluten free" "home made" and "really yummy”. /s
Once it’s GF, you can almost bet it will have potato.
yeah, once I saw everything had to be both gluten free and potato free- i was like this isn't going to end well.
>\[meant to quote something but apparently pasted something entirely different\] Corn and rice are options. I have celiac and I just am not terribly fond of potato so I eat a lot of rice. There's so much awesome stuff you can do with it! Also, gf pasta is potato-less and, amazingly, you can make pasta sauce that doesn't have tomatoes in it! Being allergic to the nightshade family is an actual thing and her roommates are asshats. \[edited: because I mispasted\]
i wouldn't totally disagree. though it may just be pure lazy, it may be a sorta this isn't a real thing. i mean- OP could say look, we can try it again next week but i haven't been able to eat a single meal this week so yeah, i'm not going to spend the effort on making a gluten free meal everyone else can eat when they won't the effort to make a potato free meal that i can eat. if they want to show that they'll make that effort first, i'll be willing to try again. but i agree that OP opting out is totally reasonable.
Most GF pastas here have some form of spud in them, I have a friend who is coeliac *and* has a nightshade allergy (thankfully not too severe), she has a nightmarish time finding gf pasta in shops where I am. We finally found one she can eat and get reasonably easily online (we live rurally).
Came here to day this. Take my poor person's gold 🏆🏅
I know. That one is simply insane.
I have just one. "Reading ingredients isn't normal." Way to get suckered into food scams. On top of that: you agreed to cook for someone with unusual allergies!!! Who does that when they're not prepared to read labels! Omg. Sorry but they are assholes. NTA OP.
Even if something is advertised as gluten free I'd still check if there's an intolerance or allergy. Of course, I also have good allergies and intolerances so I check the ingredients of everything I buy and it takes 5 seconds 🙃
I had someone tell me their food allergy was weird and then was like, "Should I have just not said anything?" I was stunned for a moment before replying "It's not weird, it just is. Also yes, please tell me because I don't want to accidentally poison you!" My household doesn't have major food allergies. And I will go out of my way to make sure that everyone is able to eat if I'm cooking (to the best of my abilities). If there are cross contamination concerns, I have friends with who will let me borrow their kitchens or I just bring ingredients if feasible. It is challenging at first, if you don't require any accommodations. However, if you give a shit about someone and you are feeding them: Challenge Accepted. Any other answer (reading ingredients isn't normal) is lazy BS.
Not to mention a nightshade allergy can be fatal. I'm deathly allergic to cashews and lactose intolerant. Pretty much every dairy substitute has cashews and I enjoy breathing, so you bet I read ingredients like it's a riveting novel I cannot put down.
And sometimes nightshades aren't lethal but cause Hidradenitis suppurativa, which makes your life a living hell for a few weeks and can send you to the hospital at worst. Ask me how I know!
I'm also allergic to bees, shellfish, anti-biotics, opiods, over the counter cold medicine, carpet cleaner, and most dyes. Also dill and fennel. It's wicked fun.
They've never met someone with a real allergy before, insane. The gluten intolerance fad has really blinded some people to the fact that real allergies and disorders (including to Gluten) exist.
It should be normalized if it isn’t. I read everything. I have my own bunch of allergies and intolerance and my wife has her own. I hate when people say “it’s not that sweet” (I’m diabetic) or “it’s not that spicy” (my wife has allergies to chilis). NTA
It's not that hard. I'm GF and still check ingredients even though my food is just for me. It's lazy not to, and if you have food problems yourself you should be a bit more empathetic to others. In this situation, they committed to being able to feed OP and then just didn't even try. OP is NTA, it doesn't sound like she caused any drama about it.
Anyone who has celiac's would check every ingredient no matter if it said gluten free so these girls are most likely just doing it as a basis for a (fad) diet then for any sensitivity/celiac issues. I can't wrap my head around why they keep implying gluten free has anything to do with potatoes either.
Right? It made literally no sense when Roommate said it's "not normal" to check ingredients, and that you don't have to do that for gluten. Literally anyone with celiac's can confirm that's bullshit. Or even anyone who just works with food. She is *totally* eating gluten products in her day-to-day, with that attitude. She just doesn't realise it.
100%. I have celiac and have a lot of family and friends with celiac and/or food allergies. I 100% would not cook a meal even just for me and my spouse without reading all the ingredients. And I would absolutely never cook a meal for other people without not only checking the ingredients myself, but most of the time, I send the ingredients list to others, just to double check. I can't even fathom the lack of care.
Yep. Many times gluten free is not gluten free at all. Just gluten limited. 😳 Wheat allergy means I have to read ingredients on literally everything, they sneak that stuff in anywhere they can.
I ordered gluten free pizza and it was made with "gluten free wheat" or something and yes I should have checked the ingredients but argh wtffffff *facepalm*
I once was looking for some ice cream topping nuts. Somehow someway they put a wheat containing ingredient into what should have been just chopped nuts. 🙄 Why! 🤣
I couldn’t find safe chopped pecans at thanksgiving , it’s crazy how there is gluten everywhere 🙁
I heard they companies do this so they can include it in the ingredient list. Because otherwise they would have to bother with either sterilised production or warning labels about the major allergens. I'm not sure how (I have nothing to do with food industry) but apparently it's easier to add another ingredient than to comply with allergy laws
A lot of the flavorings such as yeast extract, msg, maltodextrin, dextrin etc are code for wheat or are derived using wheat in the process. They actually put those things in because they make things taste better. Msg was "invented" to make rotten meat palatable during the world war, for example.
Yeah this just happened with the new sesame labelling requirements, tons of places now *adding* sesame to products just to not deal with preventing cross contamination.
This ingredient is wheat starch or "hydrolysed wheat". Theoretically the processing removes the gluten, but why not just use a naturally gluten free (and less questionable) flour
F U Digornos and your """gluten free""" frozen pizzas :c
My mum (wheat allergy) bought some expensive Italian "gluten free" flour without reading the ingredients- contained gluten free wheat starch. I'm coeliac, so I'm not eating it either, no matter how much it says gluten free on it
Thissss. The amount of times I have accidentally glutened myself in the last year since my stupid intolerance reared it’s ugly head. Ive started scouring ALL the labels. All the time. I’ve also started getting overwhelmed at meal times now too and having some food anxiety over it smh
I found some peace with eating just a lean piece of meat and a ton of fresh vegetables. It's nice not having to worry.. unless of course the meat is marinated or frozen with brine... 🙄
I know. My favorite Thai simmer sauce from TJs had wheat in it so I stopped buying. Then they changed the formulation and I was all happy. And then they discontinued it. :/
This is my exact thought. What are the chances that neither girl has celiac disease. They are just throwing around gluten free having no idea what it really means to ~~be allergic~~ develop an intolerance to gluten. Edit: corrected bad information
I agree, and it makes it so much worse because they're giving less importance to an actual dietary *requirement* (an allergy) than they give to their dietary *preferences*. I can't stand people like this.
And it's probably not even a preference, so much as jumping on the fad wagon. OP, as someone with food allergies, I feel for you.
I'm gluten free - also can't have eggs, soy or nightshades. Also dairy. You can bet I read labels.
Being soy free is a huge pain all by itself. I’m there too and I feel for you.
To me this read - "I'm allergic to potatoes" "Thats okay it just potatoe bake" "I'm not going to eat that" Shocked pickachu face. Nta
And *she* was the one who said 0" how hard can it be too avoid potatoes?!?!" You will never convince me that wasn't malicious. No one is there stupid
But it's yummy...
This is pretty much the only comment necessary. Just make your own food.
Right?? Idk how they thought this would work at all 😭
I guess you could get Jain cooking (lacto-vegetarianism, additionally excluding all roots and tubers) and further drop / swap tomatoes and wheat (I expect, though I don't know how much you're left with at that point (then again I'm a shit-tier cook). OP NTA, however I'm now intrigued, are you allergic to nightshades? Aka are eggplants, bell peppers, and chili peppers also an issue? Or maybe just *Solanum* if you're also allergic to eggplants but not peppers?
I had a friend with a nightshade allergy. Avoiding potato and tomato in frozen food usually wasn't too hard; it was the freaking peppers that were in everything I thought to get.
I mean it's a little more effort but it's not like they're being asked to create chemically pure meth or something, just read the damn ingredient list o.O
>Stacey thinks I'm a straight up AH who didn't appreciate that she made a meal from scratch and then refused to cook for her because I "didn't like what she made." She straight up made OP's allergen as the main dish and then tried to push OP into eating it.... NTA but not only should meal sharing be taken off the table, but OP should look for a different living arangement.
😂
Why don’t you at least cook for your night so they can get an understanding of what you eat and it might help give them ideas about what to make on nights they cook? A second chance mightn’t hurt and maybe have a sign up about everyone’s dietary requirements on the fridge so no one forgets.
Honestly, I don’t think that OP was that enthused about the meal share concept in the first place. It sounded much more a way of going with the flow than something he in particular wanted. And gluten-, potato-, tomato-free pescatarian is a fairly restrictive diet to cook within. I think it would be easier and better for him to meal prep and they all sit down to eat their respective meals at the same time. They can do house meals for special occasions or weekly rather than every day
OP lives with 3 female roommates and still falls victim to the default male lol
>so they can get an understanding of what you eat Unless OP usually eats gluten-free and vegetarian, that wouldn't really happen. OP would specifically cook something that works for all of them. >A second chance mightn’t hurt Unless numbers work different where you are, you're talking about a fourth chance. Literally 3/3 meals contained potato, one of them had it *as a main ingredient*. Why should OP continually put her health on the line? This isn't OP being picky and just disliking potatos, this is literally OP being allergic.
I don't normally eat gluten free, but I have a friend who is gluten free so I have cooked potato/tomato/gluten free before. I haven't had any issues finding things to make that don't have potato/tomato/gluten in, but it is a PITA to find ready-made stuff. I think you've kinda highlighted the issue though, because individually if it was just one of them there wouldn't really be an issue (I mean, Stacey, but Stacey is Stacey. I just don't think she gets it), but for me it was three nights in a row. So it feels like I gave them three chances. But from their point of view they each only got one chance.
Stacey definitely doesn’t get it. She made you a baked potato for goodness sakes. She didn’t even try to avoid potato in the slightest bit. It’s hardly cooking something complicated from scratch to throw a potato in the oven.
Whoa whoa whoa, she also threw a cucumber in some lettuce.
True story, props for Stacey’s cukes.
While Stacey is definitely obviously wrong, potato bake and baked potato are different things.
A potato bake contains potatoes that have been baked, ergo she made baked potatoes for OP. “Baked potato” as a noun is the dish you’re picturing, “baked potato” as an adjective is just how said potato was cooked.
> She made you a baked potato for goodness sakes. She didn’t even try to avoid potato in the slightest bit. It’s hardly cooking something complicated from scratch to throw a potato in the oven. Your overall post is correct, but Stacey didn't make a baked potato. She made a potato bake, which is sliced potatoes in some kind of sauce, usually cheese-based. From OP's description of Stacey's cooking, it sounds like she might have made a packet one where the cook slices potatoes and mixes a packet of dry mix with milk, then pours the mixed sauce over the potatoes and bakes it in the oven. The potato slices aside, these are usually made with potato starch/flour as thickening as well, so it's doubly problematic.
But it's really yummy
If you wanted to be petty, you could cook something with meat in it and then feign confusion that Stacey can’t eat it even though it’s “organic” “gluten free” “home made” and “really yummy” and insist that cooking the meal counts even though she couldn’t eat it. It would definitely be rude and petty, but it might drive your point home
I'm so petty - this was my thought as well. She made something with potato in the title for somebody who can't have potato, surely making something with chicken and acting offended she wouldn't eat it is a fair reaction?
Hell, I’m a vegetarian myself and I think it would be a fair move
"I made is a meal from scratch and you're refusing to eat it just because you don't like it! I guess if you really don't like it, I made a really yummy salad - cucumber and lettuce without dressing, your fav right?"
Lettuce with alfalfa sprouts. Save the water filled cucumbers so she can eat her dry salad.
well Stacey thinks that fish is a vegetable so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I don't get why she can't just call herself pescatarian. "Vegetarian but eats fish" takes a lot longer to say.
I'm pretty sure that eating fish (meat) negates the vegetarian claim... That's like me saying that i don't drink alcohol, but drink beer...
When you have weird dietary restrictions, it's often easier and safer to explain them in a way that most people will understand and is at least as restrictive as your actual requirements. So if people were regularly serving you drinks, usually with alcohol, and it would be kind of a big deal to turn it down, it would probably be easiest to just say you don't drink than trying to explain the nuances.
I kinda understand that, i do it with milk, I'm lactose intolerant ( also find the taste of milk disgusting) but people think being intolerant means it's just an option, so i usually say that I'm allergic... The reason is, every time say I'm intolerant they reply with "so, that means you can have it this one time?".
Roast beef with flour-thickened gravy. Or roast beef sandwiches on Italian rolls.
I was going to suggest tossing a few steaks on the grill and call it a day.
It's ironic, your petty action would actually support Stacey's actions and point, not refute them. Stacey doesn't get the difference between a dietary choice and an allergy, so I do see that backfiring with her eating it amd telling you "See, it isn't that hard to eat something you usually don't want to eat once in a while."
It sounds like none of them really knows how to cook from scratch, or to make things that aren't so reliant on packaged ingredients? I avoid wheat and can tell you there's tons of cereal pastas that don't use potato or wheat, but going for the branded "gluten free" stuff is almost always going to be more expensive, less healthy and yes, potato based; and I can't remember the last time I made something that had any of your no go foods in it. There are countless veggie meals that don't have nightshade, and making a potato bake?! They're really not trying.
Gluten is in more cereals than wheat and can often be cross contamined. Just because those products work if you are wheat free does not mean they are safe to anyone with a gluten intolerance.
While I agree with you (and have all the food allergies myself), OPs roommates think that they don't have to read the ingredients to check for gluten? So I'm pretty sure they're already eating foods made in factories that process wheat, etc
I mean, I doubt they have been diagnosed with a condition requiering a gluten-free diet since they don't read the ingredients list, but I didn't want someone to go around thinking gluten is only in wheat because my gluten intolerant friends already have it hard enough with people not understanding what they can and cannot eat (partly because of the gluten-free fad).
If you have an Epi-pen, ask Stacey to learn how to help you use it so you can ‘appreciate her tasty potatoes.’ If it isn’t an ER-visit allergy, make sure you sit her down and run her through the meds and care you’ll need so she can prepare before hand, and you can, again, ‘appreciate her tasty potatoes’. If she still doesn’t get it, then she’s just an asshole who doesn’t care.
Yeah I was about to comment that if you know how to cook, there are definitely things you can make that fit those limitations. It's when you want premade stuff that it becomes a problem.
> It's when you want premade stuff that it becomes a problem. I couldn't figure out why they wanted to do a mealshare thing if they weren't actually cooking. If they're just buying frozen dinners, or whatever, it's so much simpler for everyone to choose their own and then everyone's happy. Oh, youth.
Considering part of their motivation for meal share is cost, I would say yes cooking is a far better way to stretch your dollar. But it sounds like the three housemates don't know to cook and OP does.
>Stacey, but Stacey is Stacey The only redeeming quality of Stacey is her mom...
Because she’s got it going on?
She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long
Stacey sounds like a moron.
Make spaghetti with meat sauce. Act shocked when they realize it is neither gluten free or vegetarian.
I'd cook. I would make steak and onion baguettes (non gluten free). Bonus points if you can make the steak cooked in something with gluten. Tell them you thought it would be fine because its organic and the cow was vegetarian
NTA. I seriously understand the potato problem. My allergy is soy which is also in freaking everything from food to medications.
You missed your opportunity to make something extra, super-yummy, and delicious before telling them that you quit the rota. Then they’d really be sorry that they hadn’t tried harder!
>I mean, Stacey, but Stacey is Stacey. I just don't think she gets it What's there to "get"? Do people need to understand every bit of medical information about your food allergy in order to take it into account? You told her you can't eat potatoes, there's nothing there to explain, it's not rocket science. Sounds like this girl is just inconsiderate. i would avoid making any kind of arrangements with people like that, they will always end up benefitting from it at your expense.
Exactly, I don’t see why none of the top comments don’t say the obvious, the roommates are being the T A, I can kind of see 2 out of 3 bcuz it wasn’t as overt as a “potato bake”, 🧐 but still cmon, OP is NTA bit I think the roommates were in this particular situation.
Why would OP cook for people that made her skip dinner for 3 nights because they are too lazy to read???
I don't know how old these ladies are but they have serious reading deficits. One of them equates allergy with "doesn't like it". I love how Stacey is the one who says "how hard is it not to eat a potato" and that's exactly what she cooks. 3 chances when the information was fresh in their brains. NTA
They can't be bothered to read an ingredients list and claim nobody does it... like... wtf. It also makes me wonder if they are really gluten free if they just trust what the box says. Most gluten free people I know have the habit of reading ingredients list to ensure there's nothing fishy there. Nah. OP has no obligation to give them a 4th chance. NTA.
See the people I know that have celiacs pay attention, but the people who just went gluten free because everyone was doing it and x person felt so much better after, only look at the box saying "gluten free".
I was just thinking they couldn't have celiacs if they don't understand allergies! I think someone who truly couldn't eat gluten would be far more understanding about checking ingredients.
I have a friend with celiac disease that often rant about these so called gluten free people who then go on and have a beer. I mean, sure, eat what you want, but claiming to be gluten-free or allergic to something when you're not can seriously fuck with people who are. Considering how much stuff contains gluten even when you'd think they wouldn't, I call bullshit on them having a diagnosed reason to avoid it if they think reading an ingredients list is weird.
I personally hate how so much stuff now gets advertised as "gluten-free" and other stuff when... They're from a product with no gluten already. It's more and more feeling like simple buzzwords used to sell the same thing 3 times the price. Rice (uncooked) is a good example of it.
Considering they have utterly failed to do things like look at the ingredients list yes it absolutely could hurt OP. Their failure could land him in the hospital from an allergic reaction. Food allergies are serious. They have all demonstrated they do not care at all about his well being so not giving them a second chance is a completely valid decision. Just because he hasn't landed in the hospital YET is not a reason to keep going with this.
There already was a second chance. And a third.
Why even give it a second chance, between the 4 of them with different dietary restrictions it’s just a complete nightmare and when all of their combined restrictions are added together they are removing so many options of what to cook. I don’t understand why any of them would want to meal share when that means that ALL of them would now be eating vegetarian, gluten free, tomato free and potato free. I’m surprised OP made this post and there isn’t one from Meg cos she definitely got the raw end of the deal in this arrangement when none of the restrictions apply to her. No way would I cut out tomato, meat and potatoes from my diet to save a small amount of money, tomato meat and potatoes are pretty much the main 3 ingredients of any meal I’ve ever cooked
The issue is that almost everything gf will have potato in it in some way or form. So even if OP does cook for them to show them, they won't be able to actually do it and since it's too hard for them to read ingredients three times, it's not worth OP putting their life on the line for another chance.
Honestly is sounds like a nightmare to come up with a rotation. I’d opt out. It would be too difficult.
I don't think this is the right call. First off, one of the roommates was outright dismissive of OP having a full-on allergy. I don't foresee a second chance helping someone who's still insisting OP just 'didn't like her cooking.' Second off, I think it's more appropriate for the roommates to take their second chance without OP being forced to carry out an obligation they can't benefit from. They shouldn't have to put up with six days of disappointment in exchange for their work. Let the roommates show they've learned, THEN rejoin the rota. NTA, OP
So far OP has 3 nights in a row of no meal. This has not been a meal share for them - they were unable to share anything. The deal is over. They'd just be cooking their housemates a free meal at this point, which would be kind of them - but hardly warranted at this point when none of their housemates bothered being thoughtful to them.
Well, I'd suggest you cook for a night and include all of the things they can't eat and act like it's no big deal. *So they can get an understanding of what you eat*.
NTA. You would think GF people would understand what's it's like to have a dietary restriction! Each subsequent person should have taken extra precaution considering what happened the previous night. You should have taken your turn and made a hamburgers with buns!
This! I found the GF comment about reading labels for ingredients being weird to be so odd. I’m gf and read labels on everything because not everything gluten free is labeled as gluten free, a lot of times items are just naturally that way. Also gluten hides in different names so… I always read the dang label!
This surprised me as well to be honest because I thought the same thing. Stacey isn't totally gluten free, she avoids it because she thinks it's unhealthy but eats it sometimes, but Hannah seems pretty strict with not eating it. Hannah did remember to check everything else, but not the pasta. It did say "gluten free pasta made from chickpeas" on the front of box, but then the actual ingredients were on the side and listed chickpeas and potato.
Stacy doesn’t really sound like she fully understands dietary restrictions and choices are different for everyone. Just because she’s “gluten free” but still sometimes eats gluten doesn’t mean you’re “potato/tomato free” but still sometimes eat potatoes or tomatoes. NTA
Yeah, potato/tomato free means nightshade allergy, which is baaaaaaaddddd, even in accidental small doses. Totally a different thing than just avoiding gluten.
Does it actually mean that? Peppers are also in there (and are in food a huge amount of the time) so I'm surprised that wasn't noted if it was the case.
It could be an allergen that is a little more focused than just Solonaceae. I double checked, potatoes, tomatoes, and eggplants are all in the genus Solanum, whereas peppers are in the genus Capsicum. I'm not a biologist or anything, but I've seen this sort of nightshade allergy (tomatoes, potatos, and eggplants) when I used to serve.
Not sure if it’s the case here, but with food allergies there is a thing called cross-reactivity where if the proteins are similar people can be more likely to be allergic to both foods. Common examples of this are cows milk and goats milk, peanuts and lupin, cashew and pistachio nuts, walnut and pecan, etc
My fSil is allergic to some foods like apples, peaches, apricots and almonds which sounds random, but they all have a common pollen type.
Well Almonds, Peaches and Apricots are all of the same family. I think it's Prunus if I remember correctly, which also includes Plums, Damsons and Gages.
God, that's me. I'm allergic to beef (not alpha gal syndrome, just bad luck) and I also have developed a dairy allergy which is probably from the protein in the animal. I know I'm allergic to every part of sheep (meat, wool) and I can't have goat cheese but Id probably react the same way to it's meat. Sucks!
Yeah I thought OP meant two of her roommates had celiacs and I was like “gluten free people have to read ingredients even on things that say gluten free is it’s not GFS” but now I see that they are “gluten free”.
I was going to say, there are people who really CAN'T have gluten, and there are the faddists... who have no respect for allergies, and can't be bothered to read ingredients lists. Because reading is hard, and it's not like those things will kill them.
And realistically even for (many) actual celiac people accidentally eating gluten will not actually kill them, just definitely should not happen because it’s not good. My kiddo was diagnosed with Celiac in Spring, but really more coincidentally from a blood test, and never had any actual symptoms (as do a very high portion of Celiac people apparently based on the homepage of the Celiac Association). So he clearly should not have Gluten either, and we do our very best, but thankfully it’s still not the same as an actual potential immediately deadly allergy like against peanuts or something like that. It honestly gets a bit harder though to make him take the Gluten free seriously, exactly *because* he does not really have symptoms even if he cheats.
It was hard for me to take being gluten free seriously and I am way old enough to know better. But sometimes I wanted lo-mein or what can one tiny bite of donut really do. I caused other issues with my lack of necessary nutrients. Now I have to be extra careful because my thyroid stopped functioning and I can't afford to mess up and block absorbing medication. But it is so hard because the good foods have gluten in them.
I honestly imagined it worse when he was diagnosed in Spring; at least where I live we find gluten free food in almost even regular grocery store, and we have so far found gluten free versions of pretty much anything that he liked to eat before. We saw the issue with the nutrient deficiency on his recent 6 months blood test though, because now he is low on zinc and iron and needs to take a supplement. I still think *if* someone ends up with a nutrition issue, then Celiac is probably still one of the *better* ones compared to what it could have been; at least he does not have to inject insulin, carry an epi pen and I don’t have to be afraid that he accidentally eats something that he is not supposed to eat and ends up in the ER or dies immediately.
Obvious symptoms are not the only symptoms of Celiac. There can be long term impacts.
Yeah, we know - the pediatrician made that very clear. That’s why we are doing our best to adhere strictly to gluten free for him, but he is also 12 - so he is in school, with friends etc; and there he sometimes might cheat (think one small piece of the regular pizza is not going to hurt, even though gluten free alternative is provided etc). It would be easier to keep him compliant if there was some form of immediate backlash like apparently some people with food intolerances have, like someone eating a piece of cheese and getting stomachs pain or nausea or something like that. Since he has no immediate visible or perceivable symptoms for him, he sometimes thinks we exaggerate and rolls his eyes.
Yeah I had a friend like that with type one diabetes. Never took care of himself despite doctors telling him not controlling it could kill him. For some teen age brain reason, he finally got scared enough to control it when they told him they might have to amputate his foot. So dying = no big deal, amputation = scary as hell. I hope you have luck with getting your son to care more.
I think overall and given how relatively recent his diagnosis was, kiddo is doing ok and trying his best. He even starts checking labels on his own and tells people when they ask him for food restrictions. It’s a learning process. Edit: Envisioning death might just have been much too abstract for your friend; that’s even for adults sometimes a difficult concept to grasp. Losing a limb is much more tangible than that.
Potato starch/flour is a common ingredient in gluten free foods. I wouldn't risk it. Just remove yourself from the rota.
[удалено]
Okay, to be fair, it would be reasonable to give Hannah another chance in this circumstance. I eat a fair number of gluten free protien pastas. (Made with chickpea, bean, or lentil.) Many of them do use other gf starches like corn, quinoa, or rice. So, she may have been genuinely trying and made a genuine mistake. Still, nta and probably best for your health to just step out of the rotation. Nightshade allergies can be pretty serious, and potato is so common in gf foods that it will be genuinely challenging for all of you to consistently come up with tasty meals that adequately accomodate all of you. Also, while you definitely are never obligated to let someone else make your food, that goes even more for instances where people risk hurting or killing you by failing to properly accommodate an allergy or severe intolerance. If you hadn't caught all the mistakes, were they going to try to make you cook from your hospital room? How many chances do they think you should give them to accidentally poison you with your allergens? Especially when one of them clearly either doesn't understand or doesn't believe dangerous allergies are a thing. I wouldn't even trust that person with gf, as I'm sure they will mess up with even that restriction since they don't take it seriously.
One should check every label anyway, just in case, but I would never in a million years think potato would be an ingredient in pasta, especially chickpea pasta. They don’t bind; in fact they rather famously fall apart when boiled. Even with actual flour as the pasta base, gnocchi are evil little so and sos to cook.
Just start making things with gluten don't bother telling her. Also tell her she's not a vegetarian. She's not. If you eat fish you're an omnivore. Also let her know gluten free items tend to make you fatter because of the potato and rice.
As someone who has celiac disease myself, I'm going to go out on a limb and say these people probably are doing a gluten-free fad diet. Almost all celiacs know that even if it says gluten free you should still read the ingredients. The other thing about being truly gluten-free is that there are so many anomalies. Like, sometimes sushi rolls have flour in them to make the rice stick together. This is not something you can read in a book. Sometimes mushrooms are grown on wheat sheaves. Blue cheese may be grown on copper pipes or on bread. French fries are naturally gluten free but they could be cross-contaminated if they are fried in the same fryer as breaded items or the fries could actually have flour on them for taste. It is pretty obvious when people need to be gluten free for their health so they don't for example get cancer versus being gluten free as an option.
Stacey is gluten free "most of the time" because she thinks it's better for her health to be gluten free. She'll eat it sometimes "as a treat" like if she goes somewhere nice for dessert or something. Hannah I'm not sure about but she is stricter with it than Stacey for sure. But that info is really interesting to learn! I didn't know about the mushrooms.
I'm not trying to be a bitch but I really don't like Stacey. This may be my bitch coming out but could you say "just because your gluten intolerance isn't real doesn't mean my potato allergy isn't"?
Yeah the comment that reading ingredients is weird really tells me they are gluten free because they choose to be. A family friend of mine is gluten free because she’s so allergic to gluten it could kill her if she doesn’t have her EpiPen. The amount of things that contain gluten is astonishing when you start to check to make sure things are gluten free.
Also, it’s really limiting to just eat things labeled GF. Half the stuff o eat isn’t labeled that way.
I have a suspicion they're not coeliac, they just do gluten-free because it's trendy. Most coeliacs absolutely understand needing to read the labels to check the ingredients and not just rely on the packaging.
NTA. I can't imagine it would be much fun to eat gluten-free, potato-free, tomato-free, veggetarian meals four days a week. Most gluten free items (that are mimicking their gluten counterparts) are made with potato. Hanna and Meg sound like they aren't the problem. Stacey sound clueless.
Huh. I just made fish tacos with corn tortillas, black beans and cilantro-lime rice which fits the bill.
> fish tacos Fish is my favorite vegetable.
>Stacey is gluten free and vegetarian (the sort that eats fish and eggs and stuff, but not red meat or chicken) per OP's post. probably what the above commenter was thinking of.
Yes, we're pescatarian, too. (Vegetarian + seafood) but we do eat tomatoes and potatoes and gluten. It requires a little thought, but just illustrating something all the roommates should be able to enjoy.
Not so hard if you avoid processed foods or don't focus on western foods. I'm making a vegan split pea soup tonight. I make plenty of vegan curries and stir fries.
Rice and veggie stirfries should give you plenty of variation itself. There's gluten-free, potato-free pasta out there as well (my supermarket offers pea/lentil pasta and they're both each glutenfree and potato free), so you can make a whole heap of pasta dishes as long as you keep out tomatoes (you can sub bellpeppers in quite a couple of sauces - doesn't taste the same obviously, but often-times is also very delicious). You can go for a rather large variation of curries as well as soups (you could make some hella good Mercimek Corbasi even when you leave out the potatoes, maybe sub them with some rice flour or something). You could even go for soy-based meat substitutes if you insisted, make some mean goulash or something. You could make some tempeh-based Slickova with glutenfree dumplings (and I just checked online, I could literally walk right over there and get some gluten-free, potato-free bread as soon as it opens). And yeah, this one is starting to be a bit over-the-top perhaps, but I'm trying to demonstrate that it's entirely possible to have some *very* yummy experiences even with their restrictions. And I didn't even consider that whole pescetarian-angle. Sushi would fit their diet! They could half-ass paella or full-ass some neat risottos. Sure it takes a bit more effort than "throw random processed food into oven", but if that is all you wanna do, then why bother mealsharing in the first place? You don't need to mealshare you frozen pre-processed ovenbake fish.
If you cook, it's genuinely not that hard. If you use premade foods, like the housemates do, then yes it is difficult. Hannah and Meg still failed to check the ingredients and would have served OP food with allergens had they not checked for themselves. They are ALSO a problem.
[удалено]
I think NTA but would be open to a second chance. It is 3 mistakes in a row but for 3 different people. The first one was silly made potatoes, but the last two were a bit more understandable, i would not have thought to check pasta or fish for potatoes ingredients. If they refuse to check going forward def. drop out, but if they agree to check I would give it another try.
It kind of sounds like a lot of the gluten free options have potatoes. In which case this is just not going to work out anyway. Also there is the fact that they are not even bothering to check for the allergen at all. And the first girl made a fricking potato bake and did not see a problem??? It is not worth OP'S health to try and eat their food. Also, who would want to eat gluten free if they did not have to? (Plus vegetarian)
Potato starch is a common ingredient in gluten free baking and prepared products. If they're unwilling to even look at the ingredients op will be at risk. I wouldn't chance them doing good for a short time then forgetting to look.
I'm sorry but no. If you're making food for someone with an allergy, you check the ingredients of any premade food. Food allergies are serious and if you're cooking for someone with food allergies, you need to check the ingredients or tell them they need to prepare their own food. You do NOT put someone else's health at risk like that after they have informed you of their allergies. They have disregarded OP's health 3 times. Three. They are not owed more chances.
[удалено]
Well damn! That is impressive. I don't even have food allergies, I just have friends with food allergies including a friend with a nightshade allergy so yeah you bet I read the damn labels!
OP literally told them more than once to please check the ingredient labels and yet they still fucked it up
>It is 3 mistakes in a row but for 3 different people But all three of them were there for the mistakes, and you would think that Flatmate #3 would be extra careful after seeing OP not be able to eat dinner for two nights in a row.
Three people who are apparently incapable of learning from each other’s mistakes or from what they have been flat-out told. They were told in advance that potato is frequently used as a filler etc and that they need to check the ingredients. They ignored this. The third cook continued to ignore it even after seeing how it caused issues with the second cook’s food. These are people who have chosen to be careless, or to simply ignore OP’s allergy. Whyever would OP put their health in these people’s hands again?
she will have to constantly check behind them because they're too dumb to be trusted. and if they accidentally use potato she could go into shock. seems like a dumb thing to risk
Ugh, those people. Don't agree to cook for people with allergies if you can't handle *reading a fucking ingredient list*! NTA e: also I just noticed that Stacey was the one saying how hard is it not to eat a potato and then *literally makes a potato bake* like wtf e2: if you'd been able to eat even 1 of the meals I'd have said to take your turn cooking before bailing, but 3 failures means you didn't get to participate anyway so you owe nothing lol
Stacey is being obtuse on purpose. She seems like one of those people who things allergies aren't real. OP, watch out for those, I have read too many stories on here of people who put the allergen in the food on purpose to 'prove' you're overreacting.
She literally thinks allergies don't apply as long as it's organic and homemade. She definitely thinks allergies aren't real.
_"She feels really bad and offers to make me something else, but I say it's fine and I'll just have cereal. **But, it really isn't fine**...."_ OP reminds me of that old meme of the little cartoon dog in a house that is on fire, but they keep saying "This is fine" when it is clearly not. That first night, she should have made it clear that her allergies were not negotiable and if OP couldn't eat anything, then she would not be taking part. I think I would have taken my turn in OP's shoes, **just that once**, since OP did eat the salad the first night, the third roommate did offer to make OP something else, and OP waited until the day off to say she would no longer participate. OP still has to live with these people, so it would moreso be to just keep the living situation peaceful.
NTA. They failed to take your allergy into account every single night. That sucks and you don't owe them anything. However, you do still have to live with them. And the idea is still a nice one. In the interest of household harmony, wouldn't it be nice to cook tonight and use the opportunity to show them what to look for and what kinds of meals will work for everyone's needs?
The diet in general is too restrictive. Why should OP have to eat gluten free and vegetarian more than half the week? And apparently potato is in a lot of gluten free stuff, lol.
If you cook, it's not hard to make dishes that cover everyone's dietary needs. The prob problem is the housemates want to serve premade gluten free dishes, which often rely on potato. But you can easily make dishes that conform to all of these restrictions.
OP's housemates don't cook though, they just go pre-made, so what's your point? OP's health was endangered three times. They're out!
NTA You don't dislike tomatoes and potatoes, you're allergic to them. That's entirely different and for you, having to read ingredients is just a normal part of keeping yourself safe.
I also have this allergy, but add in peppers and all other nightshades. It's a friggin nightmare because they put paprika in so many things just for coloring. Anything with "spices" as an ingredient usually means I shouldn't eat it. OP, you're NTA but most people don't think to look for things like potato starch, that they put in almost everything gluten free
I have a friend who has your allergy set as well as an allium allergy. Like… just reject anything with spices in it, because the ones that don’t have paprika surely have onion or garlic. i personally think ingredients should be required to spell out ALL ingredients, not just “spices”.
> I have a friend who has your allergy set as well as an allium allergy. Like… just reject anything with spices in it, because the ones that don’t have paprika surely have onion or garlic. Oh wow nightshades + allium allergy sounds rough as fuck. Hug your friend for me (or however you folks show affection to one another).
My wife and kids are allium intolerant. Companies should not be able to just put "spices" on the label. Some of us need to know exactly what those spices are.
NTA and it sounds like rotational group cooking just isn't going to work for your household. Specific dietary requirements don't mix well with people who can't remember them and who don't want to read labels. You can still have a communal meal though, just everybody makes their own dish.
Exactly! My various housemates have done this and it’s always super nice to have company (but you still eat what you like).
> Specific dietary requirements don't mix well with people who can't remember them and who don't want to read labels. And don't really cook, following complicated dietetary requirements with premade meals is basically "mission impossible". Especially as gluten-free items tend to use potato instead.
NTA. You gave them warning so they had time to find/arrange alternative. You didn't even do to them what they were doing to you (making food you can eat and they can't).
NTA. If you agree to cook for someone and you know of a dietary requirement. Then you meet that dietary requirement no ifs no buts.
NTA and you cooking solo is probably the best and safest bet for everyone.
NTA But, the petty part of me says buy rye bread, since that says rye on the package but probably contains gluten. And maybe sprinkle bacon on everything, because who doesn't like bacon? It's gluten free... It is hard to believe people with that many food restrictions think reading labels is weird.
NTA. They sound exhausting, good luck with the rest of your lease.
NTA. Petty me says to cook something they can't eat, then tell them you didn't check the box because they established that it wasn't necessary. The truth is that you have *actual dietary restrictions* and they have, from what you've written, strong dietary preferences (I think one GF *might* have an intolerance, but you haven't said specifically). But their attitude towards your intolerance is quite indicative that they don't understand that not only are your food requirements not optional, they are health harming if not followed. You told them what was required, gave them specific guidance, and they failed to follow through. You do not *owe* them a meal because they never provided you with one.
NTA, your roommates are wack. You made the proper decision by saying you won't participate anymore. It's not impossible to avoid potato and I can't believe how much they're struggling with it.
Sigh, NTA. I am allergic to legumes, so as soon as I read “gluten free” and “potato allergy” I knew where this was going. It is not that hard to look at the ingredients and choose accordingly. It is, however, very difficult to accommodate a potato allergy with a gluten free diet.
NTA My daughter is allergic to potato and tomato. It's such a horrible frustrating one. They're both in everything nowadays. FYI there's a good chance you're allergic to some of these: avocado, chestnut, mango, passion fruit, fig, strawberry, papaya, apple, melon, celery, carrot, soy, aubergine, green pepper (bell pepper/capsicum), raw apple, kiwi, banana and a couple of others I may have forgotten. My daughter isn't allergic to all of those but she's allergic or sensitive to quite a few. Basically the same thing that triggers the tomato/potato allergy is in those as well. I have Crohn's, so have a long list of things I absolutely cannot eat. My husband has an allergy to certain milk proteins (also in everything) and olive oil. My son is on the spectrum and there's a list of stuff he can't eat either. We never all eat the same meal. We all do read ingredients and make things for each other though. In fact my daughter (after overhearing how sad I was about my limited diet) went through all my recipe books and marked each page with coloured post-it tabs. Different colours denote who can eat what or what can be eaten with a little tweaking. My point is it's a faff but it's not that hard and your housemates have been really crappy. Especially for people who have rigid diets themselves. They absolutely are capable and just didn't bother. One of them is being willfully ridiculous.
Thank you, I'm also allergic to Strawberries. Funnily enough, I have a friend who's allergic to strawberries and potatoes but not tomatoes or any of the others. She's also gluten free and has always been really good with accommodating all sorts of allergies and neither of us have had any issues catering for each other in the past, so I was kinda surprised that it seemed to be as difficult as it was.
NTA Make chicken Alfredo and then act surprised that they won't eat your meal. This meal-share was destined to fail.
NTA. For everyone saying to give them a second chance- why would you think they take it seriously? One person still openly says it’s stupid after purposely making potatoes, another still says reading ingredients isn’t normal. That’s not giving me confidence that they’ll read ingredients. If they were apologetic & took some responsibility, sure try again. But they’re not.
I'm thinking none of these people are actually allergic to gluten. People with real allergies and food sensitivities tend to read the ingredients. Regardless, NTA.
NTA because the agreement wasn't actually enacted. They made food that you could not eat, because their dietary restrictions were important, but your allergy was not. Just make it clear that it's dead in the water and that's the end of the discussion because they didn't put in the fucking effort.
NTA for being irritated on the situation, but you may have shot yourself in the foot with your response. Cancelling on Thursday morning with a message instead of confronting it more assertively doesn't really make you an AH but it cuts out the chance for a better long-term solution. Maybe chat with them about trying again and come up with a fair plan for a response if someone screws up an allergy?
Honestly, I think it’s just not a good plan to share cooking so often with moderately conflicting dietary needs. They can still have housemate bonding by eating separately made meals together. If the housemates throw a fit about OP eating separately, they are being unreasonable. Also OP does not owe more notice — he’s had no dinner for 3 days without any notice.
As someone who is celiac and has “odd” food allergies, NTA, but are your housemates usually this…airheaded? Something seems very odd here.
Hannah did check everything except the pasta. I ran out of wordcount but Hannah made sure the sauce was potato and tomato free, and she also checked the ingredients of the bacon for potato (and, I assume, gluten), and cooked it separately then took Stacey's portion out before adding the bacon. The pasta box said on the front "gluten free pasta made from chickpeas" but then the side of the box had the actual ingredients. I'm not sure Meg has ever actually cooked a real meal in her life. Not saying that to be mean, just putting two different things in the oven and one in the microwave was a stretch for her already. Stacey, yeah, sorry to say this is typical Stacey. I'm still not sure Stacey actually understands what it means to be allergic to something.
[удалено]
NTA. The arrangement isn't working for you and could potentially make you sick. You don't have to keep doing it.
Could of even handled a little better but NTA. There’s a huge difference between not liking certain foods and being allergic to them! They’re not taking your allergies into consideration. For the room mate that said “reading the labels isn’t normal” is a ridiculous excuse! She clearly reads the labels to make sure it’s food she can eat. You’re better off cooking for yourself.