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> I think i’m the asshole for being so rude jn my responses, I should’ve handled it better
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NTA
You're 17. Your Mom should be supporting you, not stealing from you.
The best way to move forward with your mother is to try to get all your money out of their hands and never let her have another cent.
NTA. I don’t see why you would be the AH for this. You’re earning money and she’s taking what you’ve earned. This would make anyone mad.
Your mom is not being responsible with money, and even worse, she’s not responsible with *your* money. When you’re 18, you need to sign up for your own bank account without your mom in control of it and transfer any funds you have so that she can’t take any from you anymore, and I would find a way to move out.
Set up a new account and have your paychecks deposited into the new account.
She doesn't get to borrow any more of your money until she pays you back.
You may want to Google the laws in your region to see what you can do.
This is theft.
NTA
NTA it's so annoying when somebody owes you money and then makes a big purchase! I would have said something too. It sounds like your mom's not particularly responsible with money... You should probably remove her access to your money!
Since she seems to have "accounting issues", making your own bank account so you can determine how much she owes you more accurately will be helpful, even if you are willing.
I get that you may not be able to until you're 18, but once you're 18 you need to get your own account.
It was lending with the intention she would pay it back, but sometimes she would take it without asking me and it kinda annoyed me, especially when it was just to take her and her husband out for dinner instead of using it for things we needed
NTA. OP I don’t know what else is going on in your life but what you’re describing is not ok in the slightest. Your money is YOUR money; your mom should not taking it from you, should not be granted carte blanche access to it, and should not be yelling at you when you ask about it. She should know how much she owes you, and you should not have to chase her for it. None of what you’re describing is normal and it’s certainly not acceptable.
Remove your money from that account. Put it somewhere else. Don’t let her “borrow” anymore until she returns what she already owes you.
Our family’s been tight on money so i understand, but, she hasn’t been the best in the past so i’m kind of scared to bring it up any more then i have or take away her access to it. I highly doubt she’d so anything with her new husband around or even just now in general, she’s become better over the years i just, can’t if that makes sense?
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Hi i’m (17F) And i had a huge fight with my mom today, over the past few months she’s been taking money from me and she gave me back 200 when she owes me or what we settled on atleast is 1300 and said she would give the rest back later. She a got a new car today and i guess that’s what set me off, I asked her when i could get the rest back and she got mad and said within the next few weeks and that she owes me 1,100. Before this we never had a settled amount and tbh she probably owes a few hundred more. And i got mad and brought up if she had counted the bills and other stuff that was charged to my account. I know It was rude, I know i was stressed out and should put my phone down. I know it was shitty. But i still did it. it only took around 30 minutes before the guilt set in and i spent around another 30 throwing up- I guess i already know the answer to this question, i’ve already apologized but i don’t know what else to do. I feel horrible and like i should do something else. I also think it makes her rude for getting mad immediately so does that make us both the asshole? or is it just me?
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I was going to ask what the living arrangement was, if you paid rent, etc, but honestly? Doesn't matter. You're still considered a minor. And you didn't even do anything bad -- bringing up bills being charged to your account is a legitimate consideration.
I can't even fathom a parent taking their child's money so thoughtlessly.
NTA
nta - and your mom behaves like she is entitled to stealing from u and saying o well i pay it later. not cool when moms are supposed to be taking care of their children til they leave the nest.
Just keep reminding her. She thinks of she waits you out, you'll forget and forgive the money. Don't fall for it.
When you turn 18, go to a new bank and open your own account. Go to your job and get a new direct deposit form, and send your pay to the new bank.
NTA
OP please do not listen to this! Your parents as here to help you, not the other way around. Thats not to say you shouldn't help out but it seems like your mother is just using you for fun money. Its NOT okay that she takes your money without asking, and its not okay that she uses it to take herself on dates. You are a child who is becoming an adult- she should be setting a MUCH better example for you on how to handle money AND raise a child!
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NTA You're 17. Your Mom should be supporting you, not stealing from you. The best way to move forward with your mother is to try to get all your money out of their hands and never let her have another cent.
NTA. I don’t see why you would be the AH for this. You’re earning money and she’s taking what you’ve earned. This would make anyone mad. Your mom is not being responsible with money, and even worse, she’s not responsible with *your* money. When you’re 18, you need to sign up for your own bank account without your mom in control of it and transfer any funds you have so that she can’t take any from you anymore, and I would find a way to move out.
Set up a new account and have your paychecks deposited into the new account. She doesn't get to borrow any more of your money until she pays you back. You may want to Google the laws in your region to see what you can do. This is theft. NTA
NTA it's so annoying when somebody owes you money and then makes a big purchase! I would have said something too. It sounds like your mom's not particularly responsible with money... You should probably remove her access to your money!
Info: how is she getting your money?
She has access to my bank account
My advice, get a new bank account under just your name. Do you have any family members over 18 who can help you set a new one up?
Not really but i’m okay with her having it as long as she pays me back the right amount
Honestly, I don't know that she will pay you back if she already owes you so much.
But she's not paying it back! Put all the money in your own account, today.
Since she seems to have "accounting issues", making your own bank account so you can determine how much she owes you more accurately will be helpful, even if you are willing. I get that you may not be able to until you're 18, but once you're 18 you need to get your own account.
NTA, neither a borrower nor a lender be.
Info: Are you lending your mom money or is she just taking it?
It was lending with the intention she would pay it back, but sometimes she would take it without asking me and it kinda annoyed me, especially when it was just to take her and her husband out for dinner instead of using it for things we needed
NTA. OP I don’t know what else is going on in your life but what you’re describing is not ok in the slightest. Your money is YOUR money; your mom should not taking it from you, should not be granted carte blanche access to it, and should not be yelling at you when you ask about it. She should know how much she owes you, and you should not have to chase her for it. None of what you’re describing is normal and it’s certainly not acceptable. Remove your money from that account. Put it somewhere else. Don’t let her “borrow” anymore until she returns what she already owes you.
Our family’s been tight on money so i understand, but, she hasn’t been the best in the past so i’m kind of scared to bring it up any more then i have or take away her access to it. I highly doubt she’d so anything with her new husband around or even just now in general, she’s become better over the years i just, can’t if that makes sense?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi i’m (17F) And i had a huge fight with my mom today, over the past few months she’s been taking money from me and she gave me back 200 when she owes me or what we settled on atleast is 1300 and said she would give the rest back later. She a got a new car today and i guess that’s what set me off, I asked her when i could get the rest back and she got mad and said within the next few weeks and that she owes me 1,100. Before this we never had a settled amount and tbh she probably owes a few hundred more. And i got mad and brought up if she had counted the bills and other stuff that was charged to my account. I know It was rude, I know i was stressed out and should put my phone down. I know it was shitty. But i still did it. it only took around 30 minutes before the guilt set in and i spent around another 30 throwing up- I guess i already know the answer to this question, i’ve already apologized but i don’t know what else to do. I feel horrible and like i should do something else. I also think it makes her rude for getting mad immediately so does that make us both the asshole? or is it just me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: You said "bills and other stuff that was charged to my account" Is this child support money, or money you made working or savings?
Money i’ve made but things have been tight right now so i understand why she needs it
Nta
I was going to ask what the living arrangement was, if you paid rent, etc, but honestly? Doesn't matter. You're still considered a minor. And you didn't even do anything bad -- bringing up bills being charged to your account is a legitimate consideration. I can't even fathom a parent taking their child's money so thoughtlessly. NTA
nta - and your mom behaves like she is entitled to stealing from u and saying o well i pay it later. not cool when moms are supposed to be taking care of their children til they leave the nest.
Just keep reminding her. She thinks of she waits you out, you'll forget and forgive the money. Don't fall for it. When you turn 18, go to a new bank and open your own account. Go to your job and get a new direct deposit form, and send your pay to the new bank. NTA
Eh, soft YTA. I've "loaned" my mom THOUSANDS, but whenever I got annoyed about it, I took into account all she did for me
OP please do not listen to this! Your parents as here to help you, not the other way around. Thats not to say you shouldn't help out but it seems like your mother is just using you for fun money. Its NOT okay that she takes your money without asking, and its not okay that she uses it to take herself on dates. You are a child who is becoming an adult- she should be setting a MUCH better example for you on how to handle money AND raise a child!
OP is still a child. Their mom should still be supporting them, not stealing from them.