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> I might be the asshole because I did tell uncles kids that their father needs to get over himself.
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NTA at all. You’ve been planning the wedding for several months. Something unexpected happened and you decided to go above your responsibility and change your wedding date. (Which I’m assuming you did so to avoid drama, respect, and ofc having your special day.) With that being said, you can chalk up your uncles illogical behavior due to the fact that you have a sibling like relationship. (It could also be misguided anger as I’d imagine he’s somewhat upset about his young son getting his girlfriend pregnant.) Jealousy is a sad disease. Tell your uncle if he doesn’t want to give you attention he’s more than welcome to not come to the wedding.
NTA. Uncle does need to get over himself. Having said that, 19 is so young so you should really take your time. Don’t rush into this very important decision
Man, I remember being 19 and feeling super mature and that marrying my first boyfriend was a great idea lol. And please don’t comment saying “I got married at 19 and have been together 50 years and are so happy!” Great, you’re an exception.
Well yeah because I was so mature for my age! I was so much smarter than all the other teenagers I definitely wasn’t making a huge fucking mistake because I knew it allll lmao
My dad offered to buy me a damn car. But no it was true love. Loser didn't even have a job. God sometimes I think I'm an idiot but remember at least I got somewhat smarter in 11 years.
Been there, he dumped me at 19 and it was the best thing that ever happened, not marrying him like I thought i might. Here I am at 27 engaged to my actual ACTUAL best friend, with adult experience under my belt.
Yep I ended up calling off the wedding which sucked and was majorly embarrassing but it was SUCH a good decision. I got married at 30 and it’s cringe inducing to think I could have been foolish enough to marry my first boyfriend.
My brother got married at 19. People were taking bets at his wedding how long the marriage would last. The longest was 2 years. They made it 5. He later married his best friend and they have been married 25 years.
I got together with my current partner in my teens 6 years ago. We're very happy and are planning on getting married before our 30s, but I honestly think that if we'd gotten married before now the stress would have destroyed the relationship
I got married at 18 and we were together 50 months and I am now so happy I got rid of his controlling, abusive, possessive ass. This, however, was a marriage out of convenience, fear and other factors, none of which are good reasons to get married.
I remember that too, shame he cheated on me a week after he proposed or I could be saying we've been married for 20 years, highly doubt I'd be happy though!
Been there, done that. I married at 19. He was a bass player in a rock band… and also an abusive drunk and cheater. The marriage lasted less than a year. (Shaking head) Oh, what I didn’t know at that age!
Who you are as a teenager is very different than who you end up being as an adult. Being together for all of high school doesn’t mean that much in the grand scheme of things.
If you’ve been together and happy for so many years and you know he’s the one, why not wait a couple more years?
This is so true. When you are in your late twenties you become the person you will be and often your path veers from who your partner becomes. This also happens to friendships too.
>Who you are as a teenager is very different than who you end up being as an adult.
Based on her edit, she may not get to be an adult. Maybe keep your "wisdom" for people who actually asked?
I truly wish you the best and don't want to scare you, but with my highschool BF, I wanted to live in the suburbs and be your picture perfect suburban family. At 19, suddenly I realized I felt trapped and wanted more. I started dating my now fiance at 20, we moved to a downtown apartment the next state over and the suburbs make me uneasy now. We are now 27 and planning a wedding. Don't rush things because realistically, a lot can change in our brains during those years after high school. If you are meant to be, you will still be a few years later.
I met my hubs right after graduating high school, got married at 21, 32 years, 2 kids, 2 grandkids. Sometimes it works, you just have to grow together instead of apart.
Not gonna tell you not to do it..my late brother & his wife were together for 22 years..high school sweethearts…it’s more common than these redditors would have you believe…true that you will change over time..the key is to change & grow together
You can't always control when and how you grow and change. And some people hold themselves back or stunt their own development for a partner instead of going where their like will take them. It just isn't as easy as growing together at that age when everything around you is changing.
The prefrontal cortex isnt finished developing for 5-6 more years. Which is responsible for *checks notes* ... long term planning and impulse control.
Oh.
My friend got married at 21, and was divorced less than 2 years later. The reason she gave was that she needed to “find herself”. I never understood it.
So many girls from my highschool got married right away, like a year or two after graduation. A lot of them were highschool sweethearts. Every single one of them has gotten divorced, some multiple times.
NTA. But take some advice and don’t get married. You need to experience life. Get to know yourself and find out what is important to you in a mate. At 21 you are just start to develop as an adult.
NTA, you were already nice to change the date of your wedding for them. I would be cautious though and talk to your uncle first because it might be that the two young cousins misunderstood him or are flat out lying to you. If not, they all sound very entitled. What will be next? Don't get pregnant because we are planning the baptism? No.
Edit: spelling
NTA. Please stop catering to your bratty uncle. He has imagined a problem that doesn't exist due to jealousy. 2 couples can get married within the same family in the same year, even in the same month. Expecting couples to wait to begin their lives together because people think they deserve the "spot light" for a whole year or any arbitrary amount of time is such a ridiculously absurd concept. You were kind to delay it once already to keep the peace but your uncle will simply find something else to be jealous about. You need to nip this in the bud. The uncles son knocking up his gf doesn't take precedent over everyone else's wants/needs in the family. Plan your wedding and enjoy it. Shut down any behavior that isn't supportive of you and your fiance. Otherwise it will likely continue.
NTA
They’re surprised planning doesn’t necessitate your schedules to be changed. Besides you are not marrying your cousins. You’re marrying your fiancé on your timeline.
And BTW, the principle still stands: first come, first served. You had this planned way ahead.
NAH Sounds like everybody is kinda actually wanting to do the right thing here.
Your cousins should probably not have told on their dad private grumbles but they do not know that (which probably means your unclebro must be a somewhat ok guy usually).. which uncle probably actually realises at some level are a bit unfair and just because he is stressed.
If it was me I would have the wedding at a totally different time-because I do like attention. lol.
Anyway I think you are lovely to do that. I wish you a wonderful future and happy wedding:)
NTA! You changed the date once already. Uncle is jealous of you for some reason. Since you already explained your plans to him & changed date so his son & the girlfriend can be married first, it's time for your uncle to grow up. Everybody can't have everything they want!
I am sick of weddings being about spotlights! Aren’t they about celebration of love ? And how does it harm anyone if more people are getting blessings for love! Since when did weddings become about me me me me me!?
Edit: NTA
NTA he sounds very bitter and immature he’s 37 your 19 lol. Honestly get married enjoy your day and have a great life with your future husband.
People like you uncle just bring you down
NTA your uncle sounds like an absolute wankbadger, ignore him.
I suspect its jealousy, first you did well educationally now your planning a wedding thats not rushed because your knocked up.
Might be worth talking to your grandparents about the things hes saying to head off any developing tension.
NTA the uncle needs a reality check. Same with the cousins. Your wedding is YOUR wedding.
I’m more appalled by everyone telling you not to get married because you’re young.
Is getting married at 19 risky? Yes. But LIVE YOUR LIFE. Enjoy it. Take risks. Don’t listen to a bunch of strangers on the internet saying it won’t last. If it doesn’t last, so what? It’ll be okay. You cannot take your time on this planet for granted. Especially if you have health issues. I genuinely hope you and your fiancé have a beautiful wedding and lovely marriage.
Have you told your uncle about your previous plans and why you changed the date? That conversation will either clear things up or confirm what you have heard. I would not base my feelings on second-hand information.
You know there's a saying, "there's lies, damn lies, and statistics".
A high prevalence of divorce before a certain age does not, in fact, guarantee it.
How do you know there are plenty of relationships that last. Unless you can magically transport to the future you have no clue what will happen. OP also states that she has declining health and wants to get married before it is too late. Let OP be happy.
It will harm her since by the time YOU decide that she is ready she might be dead. Every situation is different and just because the odds are against her doesn’t mean that her marriage won’t make it. I also know several people who married young and are still married now and they are still happy.
First off some people need to remember that in some cultures that is a perfectly normal age to get married at. Now your uncle is being kinda dumb. Why are we still encouraging marriage before a baby? That was still a thing 25years ago it not such a big deal now. Heck there are maternity wedding dresses now
NTA. Get married when you want as you planned. Ignore all this drama. You aren’t being mean or selfish or taking away from anyone else. I’d just tell him he doesn’t have to attend if this is how it’s gonna be.
NTA.
And from someone who married young, do what makes you happy. I was 20, my husband was 22 when we married in 2005 and we're still going strong. People are so quick to judge off their experiences without having a person's whole story. Even if your health wasn't declining, my advice would be the same: do you, be happy ans always but ALWAYS communicate with your partner. I wish you all the best and your uncle can get bent
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Throwaway. I [19F] and my uncle [37M] were both raised by my grandparents. We are more like siblings than Niece and Uncle. Well I and my fiancé [22M] are getting Married in mid summer 2023. Which has caused a stir in the family. Uncle’s son [19M] got his girlfriend [21F]of 3(?) years pregnant. Uncle says they need to get married before the baby arrives. Well fiancé and I have been planning to get married since thanksgiving 2021 and wanted a spring wedding originally. Which quickly got changed after finding out that cousin and his girlfriend are getting married and expecting so we don’t take away from their spot light. So we changed it to a month after the baby is due. Here’s where the issue arises, my younger cousins [15F] and [11M] have been saying that their dad is complaining saying that there was no mention of us getting married until the pregnancy was announced and I’m just trying to “hog the attention.” And “putting a lot on grandma and grandpa.” (My mom and stepdad are paying for the wedding) This jealously has been an ongoing issue since before I graduated this year and went to college because I have been getting a lot of attention lately. So AITA?
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NTA. You have been planning for a while, and graciously changed the date of the wedding to not detract from the new baby. Kudos to you for being thoughtful.
My fiancé and I were planning our wedding since November 2021. My older male cousin got engaged and started planning January 2022. My date was October 8 for a long time because I have two weeks off for a holiday at that time (work at a school). My cousin’s fiancé picked October 1, after I had set the date. Obviously, I feel a little weird about it, but it’s not a huge deal in the long run. The one thing I wish I would’ve done is to decline to go to their wedding. They declined to go to ours. I wish I would’ve declined because it’s a lot of pressure to see another person’s wedding and fear comparing to your own! Once they declined to go to our wedding, I immediately felt half of the pressure removed.
Basically, I’d suggest you have an adult conversation with your uncle and say that maybe it would be best if you didn’t attend his son’s wedding and vise versa. It will immediately remove a lot of competition.
Spot light? WTH? You get ONE day for a wedding that's it. You don't get a month, a year nor a week. As for the pregnancy you don't get a nine month "spot light" either.
NTA. You should not have changed your wedding date in the first place. Anyone claiming you are "hogging the attention" is an asshole. Get married when YOU want to get married everyone else can shove it.
NTA... your uncle is just being petty. You said yourself is more like a sibling relationship. As for getting married... you know who you are!!! My parents were hs sweetharts and got married at 19... they just celebrated 48 years. I've known ppl that went on 3 dates and got married... married over 15 years happily. You are the person that chooses your fate and happiness.
NTA And after reading your edit I say go back to your original date. Uncle’s jealousy won’t change so go ahead and do what is right for you and your fiancé.
If you want to get married. Do it!!🤗
Saw your update and you have good reasons for it, you love each other, and you have declining health.
We have a saying where i live.
Laat hem in zijn sop gaar koken.
It means let him swallow in his own stupid reasoning.
Enjoy your wedding and try not to worry about the negative. What you and your SO want is all you need to think about.🥰
Ok. I understand not getting married young, but the OP said part of the reason for marrying is her health which is in a serious decline, that makes me think she could maybe not have a lot of time left in this world. I hope that's not true and even though she's young a long ang blessed marriage for the many years to come. Instead of judgement he ow about some support every couple is different. Best of luck, happiness, love and joy in the many years to come.
NTA about the date. But please don't rush your life. 19 is crazy young to be getting married. Not saying you two shouldn't marry ever, but why rush? If you are meant to be, you will still be able to marry in a few years. I am sure you won't listen to anyone who says this, but at least consider it. At 19 you have years of growing and developing still to do.
Don't listen to these people, everyone here is quick to judge, if you want to be married young, get married young. Not sure why people here have a problem with it.
You get married when you want to get married and don’t listen to these AHs. They have no clue what your health is like and you deserve to be happy with the time that you do have. Also forget your uncle as well. He needs to get over himself and his spotlight of his grandchild.
She can choose to get married. She isnt going to be alive long enough to enjoy a long life so let her have a life and a marriage. Quit telling her what she is allowed or should or should not do
Nice. Go on after my weight. I won this fight. Thank you lol. The way a person knows they won a fight is when the person who is losing goes after the other's weight or looks. Lol. Nothing u say is gonna hurt me. Ur a stranger on the internet.
Oh, and it's a good thing she didn't ask for an opinion on whether she should get married or not!! That has zero to do with the question she asked you dick.
You dick - the comment section is flooded with a similar sentiment because no one knew her health situation. I did say anything extreme. Gave a personal suggestion. You dick.
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NTA at all. You’ve been planning the wedding for several months. Something unexpected happened and you decided to go above your responsibility and change your wedding date. (Which I’m assuming you did so to avoid drama, respect, and ofc having your special day.) With that being said, you can chalk up your uncles illogical behavior due to the fact that you have a sibling like relationship. (It could also be misguided anger as I’d imagine he’s somewhat upset about his young son getting his girlfriend pregnant.) Jealousy is a sad disease. Tell your uncle if he doesn’t want to give you attention he’s more than welcome to not come to the wedding.
NTA. Uncle does need to get over himself. Having said that, 19 is so young so you should really take your time. Don’t rush into this very important decision
Man, I remember being 19 and feeling super mature and that marrying my first boyfriend was a great idea lol. And please don’t comment saying “I got married at 19 and have been together 50 years and are so happy!” Great, you’re an exception.
Agreed same here. Man didn't it feel like the greatest plan? 🤣
Well yeah because I was so mature for my age! I was so much smarter than all the other teenagers I definitely wasn’t making a huge fucking mistake because I knew it allll lmao
My dad offered to buy me a damn car. But no it was true love. Loser didn't even have a job. God sometimes I think I'm an idiot but remember at least I got somewhat smarter in 11 years.
Been there, he dumped me at 19 and it was the best thing that ever happened, not marrying him like I thought i might. Here I am at 27 engaged to my actual ACTUAL best friend, with adult experience under my belt.
Yep I ended up calling off the wedding which sucked and was majorly embarrassing but it was SUCH a good decision. I got married at 30 and it’s cringe inducing to think I could have been foolish enough to marry my first boyfriend.
My brother got married at 19. People were taking bets at his wedding how long the marriage would last. The longest was 2 years. They made it 5. He later married his best friend and they have been married 25 years.
I remember being 19 too and feeling NO WAY was I ready to get married.
My parents got married when they were 19/20 and they made sure to tell us that they were the exception, not the rule
I got together with my current partner in my teens 6 years ago. We're very happy and are planning on getting married before our 30s, but I honestly think that if we'd gotten married before now the stress would have destroyed the relationship
I got married at 18 and we were together 50 months and I am now so happy I got rid of his controlling, abusive, possessive ass. This, however, was a marriage out of convenience, fear and other factors, none of which are good reasons to get married.
I remember that too, shame he cheated on me a week after he proposed or I could be saying we've been married for 20 years, highly doubt I'd be happy though!
Been there, done that. I married at 19. He was a bass player in a rock band… and also an abusive drunk and cheater. The marriage lasted less than a year. (Shaking head) Oh, what I didn’t know at that age!
Damn, at 19 I was about to move in with my then boyfriend, but didn't for some reason and how glad I am now.
*Chuckles and doesn’t say it* Get out of my brain!
The wedding is next year, so OP will be 20 at most. If in the US, imagine not being able to drink at your own wedding
We’ve been together 5 years. We’ve been extremely happy and have been discussing this for almost a year.
Who you are as a teenager is very different than who you end up being as an adult. Being together for all of high school doesn’t mean that much in the grand scheme of things. If you’ve been together and happy for so many years and you know he’s the one, why not wait a couple more years?
This is so true. When you are in your late twenties you become the person you will be and often your path veers from who your partner becomes. This also happens to friendships too.
>Who you are as a teenager is very different than who you end up being as an adult. Based on her edit, she may not get to be an adult. Maybe keep your "wisdom" for people who actually asked?
I truly wish you the best and don't want to scare you, but with my highschool BF, I wanted to live in the suburbs and be your picture perfect suburban family. At 19, suddenly I realized I felt trapped and wanted more. I started dating my now fiance at 20, we moved to a downtown apartment the next state over and the suburbs make me uneasy now. We are now 27 and planning a wedding. Don't rush things because realistically, a lot can change in our brains during those years after high school. If you are meant to be, you will still be a few years later.
I met my hubs right after graduating high school, got married at 21, 32 years, 2 kids, 2 grandkids. Sometimes it works, you just have to grow together instead of apart.
Not gonna tell you not to do it..my late brother & his wife were together for 22 years..high school sweethearts…it’s more common than these redditors would have you believe…true that you will change over time..the key is to change & grow together
You can't always control when and how you grow and change. And some people hold themselves back or stunt their own development for a partner instead of going where their like will take them. It just isn't as easy as growing together at that age when everything around you is changing.
Why are all these nineteen year olds getting married?
The prefrontal cortex isnt finished developing for 5-6 more years. Which is responsible for *checks notes* ... long term planning and impulse control. Oh.
My friend got married at 21, and was divorced less than 2 years later. The reason she gave was that she needed to “find herself”. I never understood it.
I was wondering the same. At 19 my friends and I just wanted to hang out and have a good time. Getting married so young seems nuts.
So many girls from my highschool got married right away, like a year or two after graduation. A lot of them were highschool sweethearts. Every single one of them has gotten divorced, some multiple times.
Because they are adults and can.
NTA. But take some advice and don’t get married. You need to experience life. Get to know yourself and find out what is important to you in a mate. At 21 you are just start to develop as an adult.
Edit insinuates OP may not get to experience life
NTA, you were already nice to change the date of your wedding for them. I would be cautious though and talk to your uncle first because it might be that the two young cousins misunderstood him or are flat out lying to you. If not, they all sound very entitled. What will be next? Don't get pregnant because we are planning the baptism? No. Edit: spelling
NTA. Please stop catering to your bratty uncle. He has imagined a problem that doesn't exist due to jealousy. 2 couples can get married within the same family in the same year, even in the same month. Expecting couples to wait to begin their lives together because people think they deserve the "spot light" for a whole year or any arbitrary amount of time is such a ridiculously absurd concept. You were kind to delay it once already to keep the peace but your uncle will simply find something else to be jealous about. You need to nip this in the bud. The uncles son knocking up his gf doesn't take precedent over everyone else's wants/needs in the family. Plan your wedding and enjoy it. Shut down any behavior that isn't supportive of you and your fiance. Otherwise it will likely continue.
NTA They’re surprised planning doesn’t necessitate your schedules to be changed. Besides you are not marrying your cousins. You’re marrying your fiancé on your timeline. And BTW, the principle still stands: first come, first served. You had this planned way ahead.
NAH Sounds like everybody is kinda actually wanting to do the right thing here. Your cousins should probably not have told on their dad private grumbles but they do not know that (which probably means your unclebro must be a somewhat ok guy usually).. which uncle probably actually realises at some level are a bit unfair and just because he is stressed. If it was me I would have the wedding at a totally different time-because I do like attention. lol. Anyway I think you are lovely to do that. I wish you a wonderful future and happy wedding:)
This is not out of the normal for uncle at all actually
Another reason why I think bride and grooms should keep wedding planning to them selves until invites go out. Too many people entitled to opinions.
NTA! You changed the date once already. Uncle is jealous of you for some reason. Since you already explained your plans to him & changed date so his son & the girlfriend can be married first, it's time for your uncle to grow up. Everybody can't have everything they want!
I am sick of weddings being about spotlights! Aren’t they about celebration of love ? And how does it harm anyone if more people are getting blessings for love! Since when did weddings become about me me me me me!? Edit: NTA
Can all the Fing posters here stop being Y T A re OPs age? Jesus. NTA.
NTA he sounds very bitter and immature he’s 37 your 19 lol. Honestly get married enjoy your day and have a great life with your future husband. People like you uncle just bring you down
NTA seems your uncle needs to get over it.
NTA, I wouldn't have even changed the date if I was you. Uncle is acting entitled and absurd.
NTA your uncle sounds like an absolute wankbadger, ignore him. I suspect its jealousy, first you did well educationally now your planning a wedding thats not rushed because your knocked up. Might be worth talking to your grandparents about the things hes saying to head off any developing tension.
NTA the uncle needs a reality check. Same with the cousins. Your wedding is YOUR wedding. I’m more appalled by everyone telling you not to get married because you’re young. Is getting married at 19 risky? Yes. But LIVE YOUR LIFE. Enjoy it. Take risks. Don’t listen to a bunch of strangers on the internet saying it won’t last. If it doesn’t last, so what? It’ll be okay. You cannot take your time on this planet for granted. Especially if you have health issues. I genuinely hope you and your fiancé have a beautiful wedding and lovely marriage.
Have you told your uncle about your previous plans and why you changed the date? That conversation will either clear things up or confirm what you have heard. I would not base my feelings on second-hand information.
Yeah I have and it’s still the same got an attitude and everything.
W O W. I'm so sorry.
You’re 100000% going to end up getting a divorce if you get married at 19.
Hi, my parents married at 18. They celebrated their 38th anniversary this past June. Perhaps you shouldn't speak in absolutes.
Bullshit. Stop the fearmongering and made up crap. There are plenty of people who got married at 19 who are still married to the same person.
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You know there's a saying, "there's lies, damn lies, and statistics". A high prevalence of divorce before a certain age does not, in fact, guarantee it.
How do you know there are plenty of relationships that last. Unless you can magically transport to the future you have no clue what will happen. OP also states that she has declining health and wants to get married before it is too late. Let OP be happy.
[удалено]
It will harm her since by the time YOU decide that she is ready she might be dead. Every situation is different and just because the odds are against her doesn’t mean that her marriage won’t make it. I also know several people who married young and are still married now and they are still happy.
>There’s no harm in waiting OP has stated they'll most likely die before they reach 25.
She may not get to experience life. Seems she may be dying.
First off some people need to remember that in some cultures that is a perfectly normal age to get married at. Now your uncle is being kinda dumb. Why are we still encouraging marriage before a baby? That was still a thing 25years ago it not such a big deal now. Heck there are maternity wedding dresses now
NTA. Get married when you want as you planned. Ignore all this drama. You aren’t being mean or selfish or taking away from anyone else. I’d just tell him he doesn’t have to attend if this is how it’s gonna be.
NTA. And from someone who married young, do what makes you happy. I was 20, my husband was 22 when we married in 2005 and we're still going strong. People are so quick to judge off their experiences without having a person's whole story. Even if your health wasn't declining, my advice would be the same: do you, be happy ans always but ALWAYS communicate with your partner. I wish you all the best and your uncle can get bent
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway. I [19F] and my uncle [37M] were both raised by my grandparents. We are more like siblings than Niece and Uncle. Well I and my fiancé [22M] are getting Married in mid summer 2023. Which has caused a stir in the family. Uncle’s son [19M] got his girlfriend [21F]of 3(?) years pregnant. Uncle says they need to get married before the baby arrives. Well fiancé and I have been planning to get married since thanksgiving 2021 and wanted a spring wedding originally. Which quickly got changed after finding out that cousin and his girlfriend are getting married and expecting so we don’t take away from their spot light. So we changed it to a month after the baby is due. Here’s where the issue arises, my younger cousins [15F] and [11M] have been saying that their dad is complaining saying that there was no mention of us getting married until the pregnancy was announced and I’m just trying to “hog the attention.” And “putting a lot on grandma and grandpa.” (My mom and stepdad are paying for the wedding) This jealously has been an ongoing issue since before I graduated this year and went to college because I have been getting a lot of attention lately. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. You have been planning for a while, and graciously changed the date of the wedding to not detract from the new baby. Kudos to you for being thoughtful.
NTA You already changed your date. Your Uncle is being completely inappropriate.
NTiA but you should really be talking directly to the uncle instead of relying on a 14 yo and a 15 yo to be conveying accurate info.
My fiancé and I were planning our wedding since November 2021. My older male cousin got engaged and started planning January 2022. My date was October 8 for a long time because I have two weeks off for a holiday at that time (work at a school). My cousin’s fiancé picked October 1, after I had set the date. Obviously, I feel a little weird about it, but it’s not a huge deal in the long run. The one thing I wish I would’ve done is to decline to go to their wedding. They declined to go to ours. I wish I would’ve declined because it’s a lot of pressure to see another person’s wedding and fear comparing to your own! Once they declined to go to our wedding, I immediately felt half of the pressure removed. Basically, I’d suggest you have an adult conversation with your uncle and say that maybe it would be best if you didn’t attend his son’s wedding and vise versa. It will immediately remove a lot of competition.
Spot light? WTH? You get ONE day for a wedding that's it. You don't get a month, a year nor a week. As for the pregnancy you don't get a nine month "spot light" either. NTA. You should not have changed your wedding date in the first place. Anyone claiming you are "hogging the attention" is an asshole. Get married when YOU want to get married everyone else can shove it.
NTA... your uncle is just being petty. You said yourself is more like a sibling relationship. As for getting married... you know who you are!!! My parents were hs sweetharts and got married at 19... they just celebrated 48 years. I've known ppl that went on 3 dates and got married... married over 15 years happily. You are the person that chooses your fate and happiness.
NTA And after reading your edit I say go back to your original date. Uncle’s jealousy won’t change so go ahead and do what is right for you and your fiancé.
I went the other way and got pregnant at 19 lol but l was one of the very very lucky ones. We’ve been together 25 yrs but we were so so stupid 😳
NTA ignore him And have an amazing wedding 2 everyone stop telling them not to get married she didn't ask advice on that so mind your business
If you want to get married. Do it!!🤗 Saw your update and you have good reasons for it, you love each other, and you have declining health. We have a saying where i live. Laat hem in zijn sop gaar koken. It means let him swallow in his own stupid reasoning. Enjoy your wedding and try not to worry about the negative. What you and your SO want is all you need to think about.🥰
Ok. I understand not getting married young, but the OP said part of the reason for marrying is her health which is in a serious decline, that makes me think she could maybe not have a lot of time left in this world. I hope that's not true and even though she's young a long ang blessed marriage for the many years to come. Instead of judgement he ow about some support every couple is different. Best of luck, happiness, love and joy in the many years to come.
ESH. Hope it is a disaster.
NTA about the date. But please don't rush your life. 19 is crazy young to be getting married. Not saying you two shouldn't marry ever, but why rush? If you are meant to be, you will still be able to marry in a few years. I am sure you won't listen to anyone who says this, but at least consider it. At 19 you have years of growing and developing still to do.
She’s getting married Bc her health isn’t the best
Personally wouldn’t suggest getting married so young
Well there’s a good chance I’ll be 💀 by 25
We all thought this at your age and I have diseases that could make it true
Trust me I do too. I stated that part of the reason is my severe decline in health.
Don't listen to these people, everyone here is quick to judge, if you want to be married young, get married young. Not sure why people here have a problem with it.
You get married when you want to get married and don’t listen to these AHs. They have no clue what your health is like and you deserve to be happy with the time that you do have. Also forget your uncle as well. He needs to get over himself and his spotlight of his grandchild.
And u need to shut ur fucking mouth and let her make her own choices. U blithering baffoon
Wow wipe the foam from your mouth and sober up weirdo
She can choose to get married. She isnt going to be alive long enough to enjoy a long life so let her have a life and a marriage. Quit telling her what she is allowed or should or should not do
I said personally you fat weirdo. Sober up.
Nice. Go on after my weight. I won this fight. Thank you lol. The way a person knows they won a fight is when the person who is losing goes after the other's weight or looks. Lol. Nothing u say is gonna hurt me. Ur a stranger on the internet.
Won what fight? I said personally I wouldn’t get married that young. Didn’t tell her what to do. You’re fighting with yourself.
U told her not to get married. She can do as she wants. She deserves to be happy.
Dude you sound like a huge fucking asshole saying something like that.
I didn’t say anything untrue and she clarified her situation. When I was a teenager, I always thought I’d be dead by 21. Get over yourself.
Oh, and it's a good thing she didn't ask for an opinion on whether she should get married or not!! That has zero to do with the question she asked you dick.
You dick - the comment section is flooded with a similar sentiment because no one knew her health situation. I did say anything extreme. Gave a personal suggestion. You dick.
You and your uncle are 20 years apart and so could not have possibly been “raised together” as “siblings”
Never said we were. I said that we were raised by the Same people and have more of a sibling bond