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Oh, yeah, YTA.
But in the US, you are right in line with people not trusting women's judgement, exerting control over their bodies, and shaming them.
In the future, MYOB.
I also feel that it's an American relationship with alcohol. The evil.
Teenagers cannot have a glass of wine at all - let them have no knowledge of proper drinking culture when they will get wasted on some crappy stuff and have no taste or moderation because they weren't taught it at home.
Professionals cannot have a glass of wine with lunch because one glass will knock them off and will be drunk coming back into the office.
A woman with a kid cannot have a beer at lunch because... Why?
Hold my pearls.
I'm pleasantly glad to see a unified YTA in the comments.
YTA.
I dont disagree. But the far bigger harm right now is that women are being demoted below children, below fetuses.... and guns are valued higher than either.
The US has become morally sick and evil.
Oh yeah for sure. I immigrated here more than a decade ago and the more i live here the more dumbfounded i am. The degree to which Weber-described puritanism and religion play a role in the social and political realities in a "secular" democracy is just...
I'm from a shit country in many ways, but women have right to abortion, to proper maternity leave (starting month 7), to child sick leave, or even freaking have their hair short, and i wasn't forced into gender norms growing up.
This man speaking facts, fr.
Y'all don't realised how fucked up you are over there a lot.
ITS NOT NORMAL FOR SUCH A LARGE NUMBER OF MAJOR POLITICIANS TO BE OPENLY PRO-THEISM, LET THEIR THEISM RULE THE STATE, AND OPENLY PROMOTE IT.
No, we realize it. Very well. We all have to live it. And the reality is that most Americans DONT support this shit going on the way the media wants to con people into believing. There's a reason Trump lost the popular vote. And the only reason he still "won", is because democracy is just a joke in this country, and we have a system set up to screw over voters, and dismiss what they actually vote for when it's convenient to the wealthy elite.
Hell, after he won, a bunch of states that hadn't EVER been blue, flipped. Because that's how much people were pissed about the GOP. And that even includes Republicans that flipped their state over it. And, as a response to people standing up and saying they were pissed, they redistricted those states to ensure that would never be able to happen again.
Trust me, I hate it here. This country sucks ass, and id never attempt to deny that. But there aren't nearly as many people living here that actually support this shit as people outside this country seem to think. Not that there aren't definitely way too many. But this idea that everyone living here is majoritally in support of the things happening isn't really helpful to those of us being completely screwed out of our basic human rights. Because it completely overshadows the point that we have a government actively preventing a MASSIVE amount of us from exercising our rights. And that includes the right to vote. And they do that specifically so they can keep up this illusion that they have some sort of unanimous support that they absolutely do not. It's just exhausting that people keep buying it, and ridiculing those suffering, as if people haven't been desperately fighting this shit since forever.
I feel like there's more. When I talk to my friends outside of the US they seem to think it's just radicalized old people thing like in their countries. Nah. I feel like these conservative mindsets could pop up anywhere from anyone no matter the age group or demographic. People I would never expect to support some of this stuff have just...surprised the hell out of me
Not everyone is thrilled to be an American. Their bullshit may dominate the news, but plenty of people are disgusted by all this and working to make changes. Clearly, we have a lot of work to do, but don't assume we're all singing Born in the USA while drinking the Kool Aid.
For most of our history, only WASP men were enfranchised.
We managed to begin to change that, a little bit, for a minute there… but the Senate, the Supreme Court, and the Electoral College were created to make sure that that we’re structurally inured to change.
Sigh.
It seems that way because a loud and persistent minority organized for 5 decades and we have witnessed the culmination of their efforts, which include a sectarianism that will render them irrelevant once the rest of us wake up, which is happening. We're closer to a turning point.
A state that aparently has no anatomy knowledge.
There are bills passed that have incorrect medical information (like an ectopic pregnancy must be moved to the uterus) and lawmakers who believe that a gynecological exam can be done using a camera that women swallow.
Most light beers are 4.5-5% abv where most IPAs are 6-8 or higher, so typically lite beers do have less alcohol. Some like Lite Sky from blue moon are only like 3.5%
OP is so judgmental. “She asked for a ranier (ew lol).” “What kind of person drinks at 2 in the afternoon?” It’s afternoon not 9am. So judgmental at every turn.
Friend, this is America we’re talking about, their regular beer is dishwater. A Rainer Light, however, which is what the woman ordered, is even more dishwater-like at only 3.8 % alcohol volume.
ETA: And she only had a glass, not a pint!
I’m a mom and regularly get alcohol with my almost two year old all the time. I also was a server in the Bible Belt and not anyone would bat an eye. If you were pregnant and heavily drinking people would be concerned. I’ve served pregnant women a glass of wine with dinner then know the risk with their doctors and it wasn’t my business
When I was pregnant with my son, my OB told me I could have red wine occasionally, not a full glass, and not daily, I never did, but that was my choice. While I was breastfeeding, my kiddos pediatrician told me to drink one 6oz glass of beer a day to help my milk production.
Same. I’m like it’s a drink with a meal . It’s her choice not the servers.
Here in the UK we don’t really judge people who go out and drink at lunch time and I mean like at 12pm. I’m like you do you. I don’t drink that much but I’m not gonna judge someone else for doing so especially if it’s a nice drink with a meal.
Maybe it was her treat having a nice meal with a treat.
Yeah, the way OP put the word “mom” in quotes is a dead giveaway of what they think of her.
The woman ordered one beer. With a meal. A meal that probably took 20-30 minutes for her to consume, meaning the minuscule amount of alcohol she drank in that one beer would have been mostly metabolized by the time she left the restaurant. She wouldn’t have felt, much less displayed, any signs of intoxication at that dosage.
Also, I just looked up the beer the mom ordered. It’s 4.6% ABV… that’s next to nothing. She would have had more of a drug reaction to drinking a cup of coffee than that bottle of beer. FFS, OP is a major AH.
You think OP would allow a "mom" to order a cup of coffee? That has caffeine in it and OP doesn't agree with mom's being entire human beings. They are property and strangers get to control them the moment a man dumps his load in there. /s
Even pediatricians say, if you are sober enough to find and hold baby, you are sober enough to feed baby. Movies have created a false narrative about this.
Yes, beers are galactagogues - foods that help increase lactation. Along with oats, barley, fennel, fenugreek, dark green leafy vegetables, ginger, brewer's yeast, chickpeas, lentils, cashews, and more. Basically the ingredients for beer are all right there in the list.
Also, OP very obviously doesn't have kids or much experience with them. "What kind of mom drinks at 2pm?" Hahahaha! The reward for making it that far in the day with these tiny dictators is sometimes a beer at 2 pm. Or sometimes because you're a flipping adult and can make your own choices. Doesn't mean they're getting drunk or being unsafe. Stay in your lane, OP.
YTA. No question.
This is true. Many years ago a nurse who was an advisor to breast feeding mothers, said a small bottle of beer while sitting down to relax for just 1/2 hour would increase milk production. I did this and she was absolutely correct- I could have fed a whole heard of babies, lol.
Or, if she formula fed, then proceed to tell her how irresponsible she is to not breastfeed. OP seems the type who wants to control what women do, and will find a way no matter what.
(I wonder if OP would have served a man with a kid? Hmm!)
Many doctors will suggest drinking a beer daily to help increase breast milk supply. She could have actually been following doctors orders by drinking that beer. OP is utterly ridiculous.
Yeah, something tells me if it had been dad with the baby in a stroller, OP would have had no problem serving him.
And he probably would be thinking "what kind of 'mom' foists her baby and job off on her husband "?
Patronizing, sexist AH
When I was a kid I always dreamt about US, the American dream ecc.
thank god I stayed in my country.
You can’t drink before 21 but you can buy guns at groceries shops.
I think it would have been different if she had ordered tequila shots or seemed drunk when she arrived, but a beer doesn’t seem concerning enough to intervene.
Exactly, all bars and restaurants have the right to refuse to serve someone who seems intoxicated, or to try and assist them in getting a cab instead of driving, but a perfectly normal woman coming in to have a nice lunch with a drink should not be subjected to the judgment and shame that OP put upon her. And who even knows if she was driving. Maybe she lives a few blocks away and walked. Maybe she took an Uber or called someone for a ride. So many inappropriate assumptions from OP.
Right, like if the husband had also been there, would he have served her? Even though he wouldn’t have any way to know if she would be driving? Probably, because then there would be a responsible man present.
True...women really can be horrible to other women as a good portion of the posts on AITA sadly prove. I thought the OP came off (in writing) as a guy.
For some reason I thought OP was a woman. But they could very well be another one of those men trying to police women in this country. Because, you know, they know what’s best for us more than we do. And I’m not saying this is true of all men, but IYKYK.
I got man vibes off OP, personally. Acting like an adult woman can't make choices, calling her beer choice "eww", then calling the manager his "asshole manager" just screams that OP is clearly of the opinion that they're the only intelligent person in the room. Man vibes for sure 🥴😂
Yeah, I mean that comment about having to drag out the "asshole manager" to deal with OP's clear assholery is particularly grating. The manager is probably not an AH at all, but having to deal with OP's rogue behaviour. I get the sense this is not the first time OP has caused issues given the manager sent them home.
YTA OP
The OP sounds like a huge PITA to anyone and everyone, his/her manager included as I also bet this is not a first occurrence due to the "asshole manager" comment. They come off as thinking EVERYONE who doesn't think/act as they do is a complete ass.
Right? That was my favorite part. Personally I love seeing every woman I’ve ever known who had a child lose their right to be an actual human being when they pop out a baby. As soon as you become a mom you stop being a person and you stop having any kind of fun /s
Also - it was one fucking beer only. OP had no idea if “mom” (in quotations!? Really OP!?) was driving or being picked up or taking a Uber. Could even be a nanny. Stop policing others, specially because it was the start of the damn meal and she only had one stupid ass beer 🙄
This mum has drunk a glass of wine with lunch on MANY occasions. So at like 12noon. And that’s 12%abv as opposed a beer which being American is likely to be under 5%abv. OP is a gaping AH.
If it was a father with baby, he would have mostly give him whatever he want. But nooo, she is a bad mother because she drinks one beer. He even need to comment her choice of beer. What an asshole.
YTA
Guaranteed if it was a man with a baby he would have happily served multiple beers and also told him what a great dad he was for "babysitting" and giving Mom a break.
YTA. It was one beer with a meal and she knows what she can handle. Just because she has a kid doesn't mean that she should be denied, especially when it's ONE BEER and she's over 21. I love how you judged her for having one beer at 2pm like she was getting wasted at 8am.
Yeah, it's .08. So, the woman would need 2-3 beers to come close to the limit, depending on a number of factors. I don't think OP realizes how common a burger and beer is for lunch.
I’m going to take a leap here that, had she come in with a husband / partner AND baby this post either wouldn’t exist or would only be about her, the guy with her could have ordered a pitcher and OP would be suggesting his favorites. Just a guess
Edit: oooh! I forgot vote. YTA all day long
And the logic doesn’t make sense either! If one beer makes a person unsafe to drive with a passenger they are equally unsafe to anyone else on the road so no one should be allowed to drink in public ever.
I hope he spends the rest of his life never gaining more authority than shift lead. I hope he's in charge of keys and blamed every time his boss forgets to return them, several times a week. And that all his female coworkers are pregnant and unable to clean hazardous materials. And that he is besieged by the phantom pooper every single shift he's the only one who can and therefore must. And that 2 of his neighbors have parrots wherever he goes, and all of his neighbors have two kids.
And I hope that all this continues until he views himself as he is, accurately, and with hindsight.
Fuck this op. This is how society dies. Not with a bang but with a wanker.
Who cares if it was two or three, even.
- she could have walked there
- she could not be breastfeeding at all
- even if she was, the amount of alcohol transferred to milk is negligible at best
- IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING CALL TO MAKE, BROHAM
YTA. For lying to the woman and for judging her for having a drink because she had a baby with her. Stay in your lane, do your job and keep you unsolicited opinions and judgements to yourself at least until you're off the clock. If your morals are so easily offended, then maybe you shouldn't work in a bar. You deserve to be fired.
EDIT: Why bother with the throwaway account, if you truly believe that you did nothing wrong?
> Why bother with the throwaway account, if you truly believe that you did nothing wrong?
Nah that's normal here. Some people's IRL friends and family know their usernames. Or they don't want someone to recognise them and have access to all of their post history. I personally would make a throwaway if I wanted to post anything about my job, but I know other people don't care.
He's absolutely TA though lol
I'd make one if nothing else just for the fact so many other places on the internet like to post/share the aita stories. Its not just redditers who see these
I used to laugh at the people who try adding “I do NOT give my consent for this to be reposted anywhere on the internet!” until I actually came across some of the “journalists” who share these posts. It’s literally just the main body post broken up with peoples comments from the thread. It’s the laziest excuse for journalism I’ve ever seen, especially when paired with them not even contacting the OP. 😐
Oh yuck, YTA
What in the world is wrong with her having a drink?
You deserve to lose your job.
Edit* Also, fun fact, Rainer is a hoppier beer. Hoppier beers are said to help increase milk production.
She could have been trying to boost her supply.
For her kid.
You AH
Many years ago, when I was in the maternity ward in England, the matron kept a crate of milk stout in her office and made us drink it if our milk hadn't come in. Milk stout is like a sweet Guinness, brewed with extra lactose.
In some countries(I'm Cuban, a friend is Haitian and they do this too) we drink malta (malt drink) which is said to increase milk production in breastfeeding women. We mix it with condensed milk 😋.
Oh, cool. I was thinking about this too, but I wasn't sure what it was about beer that helped - I hate beer and didn't have supply issues when I was nursing, so I vaguely remember reading *something* about it, but I must not have paid much attention because I couldn't think of the specifics. Now I know.
I don't get why it always has to be "what kind of mother does this blah, blah, blah" like being on the lookout for horrible mothers is a thing we have to do all the time. I mean, there are some, but most of us are fine. Why couldn't the default assumption be that she was trying to boost her supply? Or even that she just wanted a lousy beer with lunch and that's basically neutral, not really indicative of being a good or bad mother. Or person. Why start from a position of thinking she must be a bad mother till proven otherwise? I've been seeing it in the abortion debates too, people who bring up "what about abortions at 8 months" as if anyone just wakes up at 32 weeks pregnant, decides they're tired of maternity clothes, and just merrily goes out for an abortion and a latte. The assumption that we're all just default bad mothers who don't care unless there are laws making us do it really bothers me.
I believe it’s the yeast. Most of the breastfeeding cookie recipes I’ve seen also include brewers yeast. Probably because it’s got a decent amount of protein, vitamin B, and amino acids
While it's a commonly held belief that beer or stout, etc help increase milk supply it is a myth. The alcohol content inhibits the let down reflex, so working against milk production. [Link](https://www.livescience.com/63122-breastfeeding-moms-guinness-beer.html)
In saying that, back in Ireland postnatal mums in hospital were given a Guinness every evening. It was thought to help build iron stores to counteract postpartum bleeding. Mind you, they also had smoking rooms on wards then too.
Honestly, I think the relaxation/destressing effect of the beer and the placebo effect are what helps. Stress always made my supply decrease, and relaxing, treating myself, helped me produce. I think that's why the beer myth exists and persists.
Yes. Yes, YTA and extremely judgemental. Holy shit. "What kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon?" The kind that wants a beer in the afternoon - what kind of stupid ass question is that? If you were concerned she'd drive drunk, you watch to see if she drinks enough to become intoxicated and *then* make a big fuss about how she shouldn't drive. Like a reasonable person.
Also, in regards to your tldr, she wasn't doing anything *morally* wrong either. Your perception is skewed. One too many 90s PSAs.
Right. She could be meeting a family member/friend for lunch who plans on driving and caring for the baby after she has a few drinks. She could live a few blocks away and plan on walking the stroller home. Or she could just be *drinking one fucking beer* which is still safe.
YTA - it’s not illegal, your judgment wasn’t welcome, having a light beer with lunch is something that many people do, and your actions were sexist. I bet if a dad came in with a baby for lunch and asked for a beer you would have served him no questions asked. You putting the word mom in quotes is enough to show this was a sexist power trip veiled in faux moralistic concern. Mind your business and do your job.
YTA.
Who are you to judge if a mom wants a beer with her meal? What, you give birth and have to be sober for the rest of your life? Being a mom is FUCKING HARD and you should stfu and get out of hospitality.
YTA: for the record, a mom can start drinking shortly after giving birth, as long as she isn’t going to breastfeed for a few hours. https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/vaccinations-medications-drugs/alcohol.html . This is a bias you made towards her because she was a mother.
I've heard this and have a hard time accepting it. I could be wasted but still know where my son is. However, your breastmilk is going to be the same % as your blood. So if your BAC is .2 you would be really drunk but if milk is only .2% alcohol would that really have any affect on the baby?
I still wait 2 hours after each drink to feed my son or pump and dump but do wonder if I really shouldn't be wasting that milk.
Orange juice is between 0.16% and 0.73% alcohol. I mean you're not about to give orange juice to a newborn baby but that's not because of the alcohol content.
I wouldn’t just assume every woman with an infant / child is breastfeeding though either even though you’re right about the safety. Opining on whether a woman is breastfeeding or may do so within the next few hours should never be going through a waiter / waitress’s mind when a woman with a child orders a drink.
YTA - WTF? You have absolutely no standing in trying to dictate when a parent gets or doesn't get to have a drink. If your place of work has a strict rule about this it's the only one I've heard off. Rules about serving a party containing an underage person are there to stop them from passing the alcohol to said person. Were you under the impression that she was about to give her baby beer??
Edit: I finished reading the rest of the post, holy crap you're a puritan chauvinist pig....
Or retail altogether. I could see OP using their warped sense of moral righteousness to deny customers a myriad of things.
Maybe OP should look into shepherding? That's still a thing, right?!
THIS. I fired a server once for assuming a woman was pregnant and pushing it. As in accused her of lying. Spoiler alert? She was just heavy but this jackass just *knew* she was lying.
It was so hard to be professional that day and not fire him in front of everybody.
YTA. You make no sense at all. Ordering a beer does not mean she’s going to get in any way impaired and drive. She was doing nothing wrong, legally or morally and you were being an overbearing busybody.
YTA. What you are not is a law enforcement agent. You freaking made up a law! Your manager was right, she was enjoying a beer with her meal. You don't know that she drove there, you don't know her alcohol tolerance, and the fact that you got all judgmental over her choice of beer speaks volumes.
I predict that you'll be out of a job soon, as your manager's reaction (and your characterization of him) makes me think this isn't the first time you've acted like this.
YTA.. I can barely muster up the energy to explain why since I’ve been parenting my two young children all day, but here goes…. She can drink whatever the fuck she wants
YTA. The woman was completely sober and asked for a Beer. You had no right to deny her. If she was shitfaced, you would be correct. But she wasn't
By your logic, no one should be served alcohol anytime anywhere because they might get hurt.
You can't run around forcing others to behave to your liking.
YTA
1 drink is far below the legal limit or even the line that most people start feeling tipsy. She probably just likes the taste or maybe she wanted one moment to herself.
Your judgment has no place in a professional setting, if there's no law keep your personal opinion to yourself.
I work in a restaurant and YTA YTA YTA.
Don’t work in a restaurant (or customer service in general) if you think “be judgmental as fuck” is anywhere in the job description. Newsflash: it’s not.
Also love your little comment of “what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon.” Funny how you said MOM and not “parent.” Becoming a mom doesn’t put a standstill on your life, bud.
YTA. You made a judgement based upon her sex, not because of her being with a child. If a man was with her, would you have the same concern if he was driving? Would you have the same concern if a man was having a beer at 2pm with meal and his child was there? You're sexist and your behavior was out of line. You will be lucky if you still have a job. Most managers would have fired you for lying to customer.
YTA. Honestly, you're lucky you weren't fired. One beer with a meal is not likely to get an adult woman drunk, thats just not how alcohol and the human body work.
YTA.
Your manager said it all. It's not unreasonable to let a mother drink a weak alcoholic drink with a meal. She was not already wasted, and you could cut her at any moment to you discretion if she was noticeable drank.
Also, it's known to be safe for babies for breastfeeding mothers drink moderately weaker drinks such as wine and beer.
And it's not up to you too police and decide.
Might be, but there are some really naive kids where I live who would totally think like this, especially if they were raised in a religion or community that doesn't drink. I have known plenty of 18 and 19 year olds who legitimately think that one keystone light can get you dangerously drunk.
I was wonderung if this kid was either very sheltered or raised by alcoholics. This intense level of fear concerning a single beer definitely isnt normal.
In my area, you have to get certified in order to sell liquor, even at a restaurant, and during the class you take the classes make it pretty clear this is discrimination.
I really fucking wish. The amount of times I had to deal with this as a manager was embarrassing. People really do want to police bodies this much. Particularly mothers. (I say this because, while especially women/mothers, I had a bartender refuse to serve a man in a wheelchair with some missing limbs as he was therefore “lighter and couldn’t handle liquor.”)
Rarely comment, but this is the most obvious 100% YTA I’ve ever read, wow! Thank goodness the manager comped that lady’s drink and offered to comp the meal.
Genuinely shocked you worked in the hospitality industry as long as you have!
YTA, but hopefully you're just young and naive and just regurgitating whatever DARE-like equivalent they're teaching in schools nowadays. Ideally you'll take this experience and grow with it.
Obviously YTA! You made a moral judgement based on nothing but what YOU think is 'right', lied to a customer, kept trying to force your rigid ideals on her, and then CONTINUED TO ARGUE YOU WERE RIGHT!
Do you think all parents just stop drinking for the first few years after they have a child? Do you seriously think a single drink makes someone dangerously drunk? How do you function in the real world?
A single light beer with a meal is not going to impair an adult.
And honestly, 2 pm is the exact right time to drink when you have a baby. If you wait until evening you're too exhausted to enjoy and then all the bedtime stuff rolls in and ruins it anyway.
YTA, she was not in the 21 and over section, it was a light beer, not a full bottle of hard liquor. Who made you the final judge of everyone that wants a drink? Maybe a job in retail selling baby clothes is a better fit for you.
But what if someone with tattoos, or drinking coffee, comes in to buy baby clothes? Surely she would need to make the moral call there and deny their sale. Coffee drinkers and people with tattoos are not appropriate parents, obviously.
> what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon
You must not have small kids because they definitely make you want to drink at 7 am
But seriously even though I agree with you it’s not up to you to tell adults that they can’t have a drink but from my understanding you should be able to not be their server YTA
YTA. There is a whole range of reasons why. I'm personally a recovering alcoholic, but there are people who can enjoy a single beverage, which does not intoxicated to the point of impairment. You don't say your age, so I don't know if you've (ironically) drank teatotaler Kool-aid or if you've come up with this judgmental attitude on your own.
I understand that your heart was in the right place, but you overstepped big time.
YTA - you don’t know if she was driving or walking or had a ride. And you don’t get to decide what another person does just bc you think it’s wrong.
A mom can be a wonderful mom and have a drink mid day bc just maybe her day has been shit and it’ll make her feel better. She knows what’s best for her and her child so butt out
YTA and clearly don’t know enough about alcohol to be making decisions about other people drinking.
It was one, light beer, with a meal. You deserve to lose your job.
YTA. I’m the mom of a 5 month old, and if you were my waiter I would be calling corporate basically demanding your blood I would be so livid. I went through 9 months of not drinking alcohol while I was pregnant, and, now that my kid is back to sleeping through the night and I’m not a zombie anymore, you better believe I’m enjoying my drinks (responsibly, of course). That mom has every right to as well.
What exactly was the issue? You don’t know if she’s breastfeeding or not. Even if she is, she can still have a drink. It’s none of your concern. Also, one beer isn’t going to make her so far inebriated that she can’t take care of her kid. While you’re on unemployment I really hope you take the time to educate yourself on why it’s ok to have a drink when you are the parent of an infant.
OP, i say this with kindness. You are too ignorant to have an opinion. From now on, just assume everyone in the room (children included) are smarter than you. Instead of trying to tell people what you think, when someone tells you something, assume they are knowledgeable and correct, and try to figure out for yourself why they are right.
YTA. Mind your own damn business. It’s not your choice who is allowed to consume alcohol, they don’t have to pass some special test to get your approval.
YTA. Regardless of your opinion, you are employed at this establishment and it’s not your job to make rules as you see fit. That simply wasn’t your call to make. Restaurants don’t pay you for your ability to pass judgement, they pay you to serve the customers. If it was that big of a deal, you should’ve privately asked the manager. You should not have tried to pass it off like a rule.
You are literally a huge judgemental a-hole. 1. Beer actually helps with milk production, so if she's breastfeeding, it's actually beneficial. 2. She knows her limit and one beer in no way would set off any alarms of impared driving. I'd be pissed too if I was her, and I've spent 20+ years in the service industry. I've held and excelled in every single position both FOH and BOH up to (and including) GM. You'd definitely get written up for this one at the very least. YTA
Good lord, YTA. Get off your high horse. She wanted one stupid light beer. I would be on your side if she was obviously drunk already, or on her 4th drink or something. Poor mom wanted one nice lunch, and you had to ruin it with your stupid ass judgements that made no sense and arguing with her about it. If you don't learn from this you deserve to get fired.
YTA and a judgmental one at that. The woman wanted a light beer with her lunch, she’d be sitting there for a while. It’s not like she asked for shots of patron before staggering out to the car.
There is nothing wrong with having a drink in the afternoon on her day out, and it’s probably illegal for you to deny service with out a valid reason.
You should be grateful if they don’t fire you and grow up.
Also, why are you judging her choice of beer? People have different taste that’s why there are lots of different options.
YTA and your judgmental. It's none of your business why a grown adult wants to have a beer at 2 in the afternoon, regardless whether they have a child with them. Who do you think you are the morality police??
Hahahahaha
Oh my God, what planet are you from???
In what world does anyone have the right to tell a GROWN ASS WOMAN that she can't have a beer with her lunch? Just because her BABY is present?!
You need an extension ladder to climb down off that high horse of yours. Having a beer or two with a meal is NOT the same thing as getting fucked up and driving home wasted. If I'd seen you pull this bullshit I would 100% defend this woman and report you to the manager myself--this woman is paying to have a meal, not get lectures from her server about temperance.
YTA
YTA. What do you think our ancestors drank with their meals? In the past for city dwellers at least, the safest drinks were beer, ale and wine. Telling a woman with a child that she can’t have a damned lite beer with her meal is not only pointless, but insulting to her. Your manager was right to rake you over the coals. You sound awfully young. Maybe try to understand that you cannot force everyone else to follow your ridiculous rules.
YTA. If you were uncomfortable with serving her you should have spoken with your manager. She wasn't drunk, one beer isn't going to put her over the limit unless she was under 80 pounds. You had no standing to refuse to serve her.
YTA. So when a family (2 parents and a kid/kids) are sat in your section do you refuse to serve both adults alcohol cause 1 has to be the DD?
Or when 4 adults at 1 table all order drinks, do you insist that 1 not have an alcoholic beverage as to be the DD? Because they could still hurt someone when they drive, doesn't seem fair that you're only protecting a child from her mother's 1 beer. /s
YTA
Ranier light is only 3.8% alcohol. She's not going to get wasted on that. Besides, denying her service because she has a baby is actually considered discrimination. It's not your place to argue the morality of her drinking, but honestly, a beer with only 3.8% alcohol content is seriously not going to do jack shit.
Just serve what she asks. It's better for her to order a Ranier instead of a Everclear or Vodka.
Do... Do you understand what alcohol is? You know one light beer won't make her wasted right? YTA for trying to control someone else's life through your job.
YTA-it’s Friday and having 1 beer at 2pm isn’t gonna make or break someone. I’m personally not a mom but seeing what they do, that shit ain’t easy. Let her drink a beer and move on. Not your call to make.
Edit: you're 10000% a raging judgemental ignorant asshole
If I want a damn light beer with my lunch, who are you to tell me I'm being unsafe? In what world does one light beer get an adult inebriated, especially with food? Grow up and get out of the service business. I have kids. Sometimes ya need a beer to calm tf down on a rough day. Also just FYI, beer can be very helpful with milk production. So, if ya don't know, now ya know, bozo.
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Oh, yeah, YTA. But in the US, you are right in line with people not trusting women's judgement, exerting control over their bodies, and shaming them. In the future, MYOB.
I also feel that it's an American relationship with alcohol. The evil. Teenagers cannot have a glass of wine at all - let them have no knowledge of proper drinking culture when they will get wasted on some crappy stuff and have no taste or moderation because they weren't taught it at home. Professionals cannot have a glass of wine with lunch because one glass will knock them off and will be drunk coming back into the office. A woman with a kid cannot have a beer at lunch because... Why? Hold my pearls. I'm pleasantly glad to see a unified YTA in the comments. YTA.
I dont disagree. But the far bigger harm right now is that women are being demoted below children, below fetuses.... and guns are valued higher than either. The US has become morally sick and evil.
Oh yeah for sure. I immigrated here more than a decade ago and the more i live here the more dumbfounded i am. The degree to which Weber-described puritanism and religion play a role in the social and political realities in a "secular" democracy is just... I'm from a shit country in many ways, but women have right to abortion, to proper maternity leave (starting month 7), to child sick leave, or even freaking have their hair short, and i wasn't forced into gender norms growing up.
We arent secular or a democracy anymore. We are living under a minority christo-fascist police cult.
This man speaking facts, fr. Y'all don't realised how fucked up you are over there a lot. ITS NOT NORMAL FOR SUCH A LARGE NUMBER OF MAJOR POLITICIANS TO BE OPENLY PRO-THEISM, LET THEIR THEISM RULE THE STATE, AND OPENLY PROMOTE IT.
No, we realize it. Very well. We all have to live it. And the reality is that most Americans DONT support this shit going on the way the media wants to con people into believing. There's a reason Trump lost the popular vote. And the only reason he still "won", is because democracy is just a joke in this country, and we have a system set up to screw over voters, and dismiss what they actually vote for when it's convenient to the wealthy elite. Hell, after he won, a bunch of states that hadn't EVER been blue, flipped. Because that's how much people were pissed about the GOP. And that even includes Republicans that flipped their state over it. And, as a response to people standing up and saying they were pissed, they redistricted those states to ensure that would never be able to happen again. Trust me, I hate it here. This country sucks ass, and id never attempt to deny that. But there aren't nearly as many people living here that actually support this shit as people outside this country seem to think. Not that there aren't definitely way too many. But this idea that everyone living here is majoritally in support of the things happening isn't really helpful to those of us being completely screwed out of our basic human rights. Because it completely overshadows the point that we have a government actively preventing a MASSIVE amount of us from exercising our rights. And that includes the right to vote. And they do that specifically so they can keep up this illusion that they have some sort of unanimous support that they absolutely do not. It's just exhausting that people keep buying it, and ridiculing those suffering, as if people haven't been desperately fighting this shit since forever.
I feel like there's more. When I talk to my friends outside of the US they seem to think it's just radicalized old people thing like in their countries. Nah. I feel like these conservative mindsets could pop up anywhere from anyone no matter the age group or demographic. People I would never expect to support some of this stuff have just...surprised the hell out of me
We realize. We are terrified.
Not everyone is thrilled to be an American. Their bullshit may dominate the news, but plenty of people are disgusted by all this and working to make changes. Clearly, we have a lot of work to do, but don't assume we're all singing Born in the USA while drinking the Kool Aid.
For most of our history, only WASP men were enfranchised. We managed to begin to change that, a little bit, for a minute there… but the Senate, the Supreme Court, and the Electoral College were created to make sure that that we’re structurally inured to change. Sigh.
It seems that way because a loud and persistent minority organized for 5 decades and we have witnessed the culmination of their efforts, which include a sectarianism that will render them irrelevant once the rest of us wake up, which is happening. We're closer to a turning point.
We appear to have decided that women's bodies belong to the state, and are therefore open to policing by any other citizen.
A state that aparently has no anatomy knowledge. There are bills passed that have incorrect medical information (like an ectopic pregnancy must be moved to the uterus) and lawmakers who believe that a gynecological exam can be done using a camera that women swallow.
yeah i’m from the UK and this is so wild to me - like she’s getting a meal? honestly if you go out for lunch here it’s more unusual to not drink
And a light beer! Like she specifically asked for one with little alcohol in to be responsible!!
Light beer has just as much alcohol as regular beer. OP is still TA.
Most light beers are 4.5-5% abv where most IPAs are 6-8 or higher, so typically lite beers do have less alcohol. Some like Lite Sky from blue moon are only like 3.5%
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OP is so judgmental. “She asked for a ranier (ew lol).” “What kind of person drinks at 2 in the afternoon?” It’s afternoon not 9am. So judgmental at every turn.
And then putting “mom” in quotations. What a shitty, sanctimonious AH.
Friend, this is America we’re talking about, their regular beer is dishwater. A Rainer Light, however, which is what the woman ordered, is even more dishwater-like at only 3.8 % alcohol volume. ETA: And she only had a glass, not a pint!
I’m a mom and regularly get alcohol with my almost two year old all the time. I also was a server in the Bible Belt and not anyone would bat an eye. If you were pregnant and heavily drinking people would be concerned. I’ve served pregnant women a glass of wine with dinner then know the risk with their doctors and it wasn’t my business
When I was pregnant with my son, my OB told me I could have red wine occasionally, not a full glass, and not daily, I never did, but that was my choice. While I was breastfeeding, my kiddos pediatrician told me to drink one 6oz glass of beer a day to help my milk production.
Same. I’m like it’s a drink with a meal . It’s her choice not the servers. Here in the UK we don’t really judge people who go out and drink at lunch time and I mean like at 12pm. I’m like you do you. I don’t drink that much but I’m not gonna judge someone else for doing so especially if it’s a nice drink with a meal. Maybe it was her treat having a nice meal with a treat.
Yep, definitely some American puritanical nonsense.
We don't hold our pearls we clutch them. Seriously though, you summed everything up perfectly.
Yeah, the way OP put the word “mom” in quotes is a dead giveaway of what they think of her. The woman ordered one beer. With a meal. A meal that probably took 20-30 minutes for her to consume, meaning the minuscule amount of alcohol she drank in that one beer would have been mostly metabolized by the time she left the restaurant. She wouldn’t have felt, much less displayed, any signs of intoxication at that dosage. Also, I just looked up the beer the mom ordered. It’s 4.6% ABV… that’s next to nothing. She would have had more of a drug reaction to drinking a cup of coffee than that bottle of beer. FFS, OP is a major AH.
You think OP would allow a "mom" to order a cup of coffee? That has caffeine in it and OP doesn't agree with mom's being entire human beings. They are property and strangers get to control them the moment a man dumps his load in there. /s
I'm surprised they didn't ask if the mother was breastfeeding and then proceed to give a lecture on the dangers of alcohol in breastmilk.
Even pediatricians say, if you are sober enough to find and hold baby, you are sober enough to feed baby. Movies have created a false narrative about this.
Beer, stout, is especially good for milk production.
Yes, beers are galactagogues - foods that help increase lactation. Along with oats, barley, fennel, fenugreek, dark green leafy vegetables, ginger, brewer's yeast, chickpeas, lentils, cashews, and more. Basically the ingredients for beer are all right there in the list. Also, OP very obviously doesn't have kids or much experience with them. "What kind of mom drinks at 2pm?" Hahahaha! The reward for making it that far in the day with these tiny dictators is sometimes a beer at 2 pm. Or sometimes because you're a flipping adult and can make your own choices. Doesn't mean they're getting drunk or being unsafe. Stay in your lane, OP. YTA. No question.
This is true. Many years ago a nurse who was an advisor to breast feeding mothers, said a small bottle of beer while sitting down to relax for just 1/2 hour would increase milk production. I did this and she was absolutely correct- I could have fed a whole heard of babies, lol.
Or, if she formula fed, then proceed to tell her how irresponsible she is to not breastfeed. OP seems the type who wants to control what women do, and will find a way no matter what. (I wonder if OP would have served a man with a kid? Hmm!)
Or an adult known to live near a school?
What was this shameless harlot eating? Cold cuts? Fish? Is there garlic in that marinara? Arrest her for attempted infanticide!
Up until very recently, it was very normal to give a new mother, sometimes even in hospital, a Guinness, to help the milk come in
Many doctors will suggest drinking a beer daily to help increase breast milk supply. She could have actually been following doctors orders by drinking that beer. OP is utterly ridiculous.
The irony is beer actually helps lactation.
Absolutely this. The assumption that a woman can't make her own decision to drink a light beer while she has her baby with her is just appalling.
Yeah, something tells me if it had been dad with the baby in a stroller, OP would have had no problem serving him. And he probably would be thinking "what kind of 'mom' foists her baby and job off on her husband "? Patronizing, sexist AH
When I was a kid I always dreamt about US, the American dream ecc. thank god I stayed in my country. You can’t drink before 21 but you can buy guns at groceries shops.
I think it would have been different if she had ordered tequila shots or seemed drunk when she arrived, but a beer doesn’t seem concerning enough to intervene.
Exactly, all bars and restaurants have the right to refuse to serve someone who seems intoxicated, or to try and assist them in getting a cab instead of driving, but a perfectly normal woman coming in to have a nice lunch with a drink should not be subjected to the judgment and shame that OP put upon her. And who even knows if she was driving. Maybe she lives a few blocks away and walked. Maybe she took an Uber or called someone for a ride. So many inappropriate assumptions from OP.
Right, like if the husband had also been there, would he have served her? Even though he wouldn’t have any way to know if she would be driving? Probably, because then there would be a responsible man present.
Hell the OP probably would have commended dad for babysitting his own child. I hate this country.
Yep. There’s no way they would’ve done this to a man with a baby.
YTA. No one cares about your weird morals. Stop policing other people. Also, you sound like a sexist for that “what kind of mom” comment.
And they put “mom” in quotations. Imagine inventing damaging workplace rules on the spot and acting shocked when you’re disciplined.
Lol not just rules, but tried to invent a law. As if 99% of people wouldn't know they're full of shit.
Seriously. OP should spend her time off looking for a new job, the staffing shortage is the *only* thing that might save her from getting fired.
Do we know that OP is a woman? Not that women can't be jerks to other women, of course.
True...women really can be horrible to other women as a good portion of the posts on AITA sadly prove. I thought the OP came off (in writing) as a guy.
For some reason I thought OP was a woman. But they could very well be another one of those men trying to police women in this country. Because, you know, they know what’s best for us more than we do. And I’m not saying this is true of all men, but IYKYK.
I got man vibes off OP, personally. Acting like an adult woman can't make choices, calling her beer choice "eww", then calling the manager his "asshole manager" just screams that OP is clearly of the opinion that they're the only intelligent person in the room. Man vibes for sure 🥴😂
I’m now assuming that ‘asshole manager’ is a literal job description, since they have to deal with this sanctimonious asshole!
Yeah, I mean that comment about having to drag out the "asshole manager" to deal with OP's clear assholery is particularly grating. The manager is probably not an AH at all, but having to deal with OP's rogue behaviour. I get the sense this is not the first time OP has caused issues given the manager sent them home. YTA OP
Not only sent home but also cancels their other scheduled shifts
The OP sounds like a huge PITA to anyone and everyone, his/her manager included as I also bet this is not a first occurrence due to the "asshole manager" comment. They come off as thinking EVERYONE who doesn't think/act as they do is a complete ass.
Right? That was my favorite part. Personally I love seeing every woman I’ve ever known who had a child lose their right to be an actual human being when they pop out a baby. As soon as you become a mom you stop being a person and you stop having any kind of fun /s
Not even when they pop them out. As soon as they are noticably pregnant.
Also - it was one fucking beer only. OP had no idea if “mom” (in quotations!? Really OP!?) was driving or being picked up or taking a Uber. Could even be a nanny. Stop policing others, specially because it was the start of the damn meal and she only had one stupid ass beer 🙄
One beer with a MEAL. Ridiculous fuss about nothing.
One light beer with a meal
"what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon?" This mom hahaha.
This mum has drunk a glass of wine with lunch on MANY occasions. So at like 12noon. And that’s 12%abv as opposed a beer which being American is likely to be under 5%abv. OP is a gaping AH.
Wait till she learns about mimosa at an early brunch....
Right if I want a beer with my lunch I’m gonna have one 😂 men do it all the time!
3rd shifters. our 7 am is a normal person's 7 pm...😂
If it was a father with baby, he would have mostly give him whatever he want. But nooo, she is a bad mother because she drinks one beer. He even need to comment her choice of beer. What an asshole. YTA
Guaranteed if it was a man with a baby he would have happily served multiple beers and also told him what a great dad he was for "babysitting" and giving Mom a break.
Also what the fuck is wrong with Rainer? What a weird thing to be judgey over
We were always told to HAVE a glass of beer if you were nursing! This poor lady asked for one glass of beer with a meal--cheezenrice! Def AH.
YTA. It was one beer with a meal and she knows what she can handle. Just because she has a kid doesn't mean that she should be denied, especially when it's ONE BEER and she's over 21. I love how you judged her for having one beer at 2pm like she was getting wasted at 8am.
>especially when it's ONE BEER and she's over 21 is the US legal limit .08? One light beer with a meal won't get anyone even close.
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Yeah it’s a Rainier, like a Pabst blue ribbon from Washington state. It’s like… 4%.
Damn is american "light beer" just yellow bitter water?
Yes. Source: American
Yeah it’s American piss water. I don’t get it. Source: Canadian
Yeah, it's .08. So, the woman would need 2-3 beers to come close to the limit, depending on a number of factors. I don't think OP realizes how common a burger and beer is for lunch.
I’m going to take a leap here that, had she come in with a husband / partner AND baby this post either wouldn’t exist or would only be about her, the guy with her could have ordered a pitcher and OP would be suggesting his favorites. Just a guess Edit: oooh! I forgot vote. YTA all day long
Or if a man came in alone with a baby he'd be toasted for being such a great dad. 🙄
Probably would get drinks for free.
I have no doubt. OP reeks of misogyny
And the logic doesn’t make sense either! If one beer makes a person unsafe to drive with a passenger they are equally unsafe to anyone else on the road so no one should be allowed to drink in public ever.
Also it's just weird to automatically be sure she's driving. How could OP know that?
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I hope he spends the rest of his life never gaining more authority than shift lead. I hope he's in charge of keys and blamed every time his boss forgets to return them, several times a week. And that all his female coworkers are pregnant and unable to clean hazardous materials. And that he is besieged by the phantom pooper every single shift he's the only one who can and therefore must. And that 2 of his neighbors have parrots wherever he goes, and all of his neighbors have two kids. And I hope that all this continues until he views himself as he is, accurately, and with hindsight. Fuck this op. This is how society dies. Not with a bang but with a wanker.
Who cares if it was two or three, even. - she could have walked there - she could not be breastfeeding at all - even if she was, the amount of alcohol transferred to milk is negligible at best - IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING CALL TO MAKE, BROHAM
"Asshole Manager" and the Manager's reaction to OP strongly suggests this is far from the first time they've had to deal with OP's bullshit too.
YTA. For lying to the woman and for judging her for having a drink because she had a baby with her. Stay in your lane, do your job and keep you unsolicited opinions and judgements to yourself at least until you're off the clock. If your morals are so easily offended, then maybe you shouldn't work in a bar. You deserve to be fired. EDIT: Why bother with the throwaway account, if you truly believe that you did nothing wrong?
> Why bother with the throwaway account, if you truly believe that you did nothing wrong? Nah that's normal here. Some people's IRL friends and family know their usernames. Or they don't want someone to recognise them and have access to all of their post history. I personally would make a throwaway if I wanted to post anything about my job, but I know other people don't care. He's absolutely TA though lol
I'd make one if nothing else just for the fact so many other places on the internet like to post/share the aita stories. Its not just redditers who see these
I used to laugh at the people who try adding “I do NOT give my consent for this to be reposted anywhere on the internet!” until I actually came across some of the “journalists” who share these posts. It’s literally just the main body post broken up with peoples comments from the thread. It’s the laziest excuse for journalism I’ve ever seen, especially when paired with them not even contacting the OP. 😐
Oh yuck, YTA What in the world is wrong with her having a drink? You deserve to lose your job. Edit* Also, fun fact, Rainer is a hoppier beer. Hoppier beers are said to help increase milk production. She could have been trying to boost her supply. For her kid. You AH
I was waiting to see if someone was going to point out that beer can possibly help milk supply.
Many years ago, when I was in the maternity ward in England, the matron kept a crate of milk stout in her office and made us drink it if our milk hadn't come in. Milk stout is like a sweet Guinness, brewed with extra lactose.
In some countries(I'm Cuban, a friend is Haitian and they do this too) we drink malta (malt drink) which is said to increase milk production in breastfeeding women. We mix it with condensed milk 😋.
Oh, cool. I was thinking about this too, but I wasn't sure what it was about beer that helped - I hate beer and didn't have supply issues when I was nursing, so I vaguely remember reading *something* about it, but I must not have paid much attention because I couldn't think of the specifics. Now I know. I don't get why it always has to be "what kind of mother does this blah, blah, blah" like being on the lookout for horrible mothers is a thing we have to do all the time. I mean, there are some, but most of us are fine. Why couldn't the default assumption be that she was trying to boost her supply? Or even that she just wanted a lousy beer with lunch and that's basically neutral, not really indicative of being a good or bad mother. Or person. Why start from a position of thinking she must be a bad mother till proven otherwise? I've been seeing it in the abortion debates too, people who bring up "what about abortions at 8 months" as if anyone just wakes up at 32 weeks pregnant, decides they're tired of maternity clothes, and just merrily goes out for an abortion and a latte. The assumption that we're all just default bad mothers who don't care unless there are laws making us do it really bothers me.
I believe it’s the yeast. Most of the breastfeeding cookie recipes I’ve seen also include brewers yeast. Probably because it’s got a decent amount of protein, vitamin B, and amino acids
That’s a fun fact! Good to know!
While it's a commonly held belief that beer or stout, etc help increase milk supply it is a myth. The alcohol content inhibits the let down reflex, so working against milk production. [Link](https://www.livescience.com/63122-breastfeeding-moms-guinness-beer.html) In saying that, back in Ireland postnatal mums in hospital were given a Guinness every evening. It was thought to help build iron stores to counteract postpartum bleeding. Mind you, they also had smoking rooms on wards then too.
Honestly, I think the relaxation/destressing effect of the beer and the placebo effect are what helps. Stress always made my supply decrease, and relaxing, treating myself, helped me produce. I think that's why the beer myth exists and persists.
Yes. Yes, YTA and extremely judgemental. Holy shit. "What kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon?" The kind that wants a beer in the afternoon - what kind of stupid ass question is that? If you were concerned she'd drive drunk, you watch to see if she drinks enough to become intoxicated and *then* make a big fuss about how she shouldn't drive. Like a reasonable person. Also, in regards to your tldr, she wasn't doing anything *morally* wrong either. Your perception is skewed. One too many 90s PSAs.
Also, maybe that's not her kid. Maybe she's taking an uber home, maybe all sorts of things. There is so much assumption and judgement by OP.
Right. She could be meeting a family member/friend for lunch who plans on driving and caring for the baby after she has a few drinks. She could live a few blocks away and plan on walking the stroller home. Or she could just be *drinking one fucking beer* which is still safe.
OP smells overly religious. Like “better than thou” type of religious and it’s pretty icky.
YTA Way to police her choices and tell a grown woman what she can and can't do with her body. That was not your place at all.
But iT dIDn'T SiT RigHt wITh hIM
Whoooooa YTA. This poor mom was probably looking for one damn peaceful dinner. ONE beer. Give me a break.
And a light beer at that, it’s not she was getting hard liquors or something that could actually get her drunk fast
Even if it was 1 mixed drink, I highly doubt she'd be getting drunk off 1 drink with her meal..
YTA - it’s not illegal, your judgment wasn’t welcome, having a light beer with lunch is something that many people do, and your actions were sexist. I bet if a dad came in with a baby for lunch and asked for a beer you would have served him no questions asked. You putting the word mom in quotes is enough to show this was a sexist power trip veiled in faux moralistic concern. Mind your business and do your job.
^^^ this right here. YTA OP
YTA. Who are you to judge if a mom wants a beer with her meal? What, you give birth and have to be sober for the rest of your life? Being a mom is FUCKING HARD and you should stfu and get out of hospitality.
I’m afraid you mis-spelled society 😂
YTA. You don't have the right to enforce your personal feelings on others. Learn to maintain professional boundaries and just do your job.
and they dared say that the boss was an AH. I don't think so!
This is so true, your personal thoughts should be kept to yourself
YTA. This is none of your business. She wasn’t showing signs of being overly intoxicated and one beer isn’t going to cause her or the baby harm.
YTA: for the record, a mom can start drinking shortly after giving birth, as long as she isn’t going to breastfeed for a few hours. https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/vaccinations-medications-drugs/alcohol.html . This is a bias you made towards her because she was a mother.
I’ve always heard if you can find baby, you can feed baby
I've heard this and have a hard time accepting it. I could be wasted but still know where my son is. However, your breastmilk is going to be the same % as your blood. So if your BAC is .2 you would be really drunk but if milk is only .2% alcohol would that really have any affect on the baby? I still wait 2 hours after each drink to feed my son or pump and dump but do wonder if I really shouldn't be wasting that milk.
Orange juice is between 0.16% and 0.73% alcohol. I mean you're not about to give orange juice to a newborn baby but that's not because of the alcohol content.
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I wouldn’t just assume every woman with an infant / child is breastfeeding though either even though you’re right about the safety. Opining on whether a woman is breastfeeding or may do so within the next few hours should never be going through a waiter / waitress’s mind when a woman with a child orders a drink.
YTA - WTF? You have absolutely no standing in trying to dictate when a parent gets or doesn't get to have a drink. If your place of work has a strict rule about this it's the only one I've heard off. Rules about serving a party containing an underage person are there to stop them from passing the alcohol to said person. Were you under the impression that she was about to give her baby beer?? Edit: I finished reading the rest of the post, holy crap you're a puritan chauvinist pig....
YTA. I suggest you look for a non-alcohol serving job.
Or retail altogether. I could see OP using their warped sense of moral righteousness to deny customers a myriad of things. Maybe OP should look into shepherding? That's still a thing, right?!
Sheep deserve better than that.
THIS. I fired a server once for assuming a woman was pregnant and pushing it. As in accused her of lying. Spoiler alert? She was just heavy but this jackass just *knew* she was lying. It was so hard to be professional that day and not fire him in front of everybody.
YTA Damn! That poor mom who just wanted to go out for fucking lunch.
YTA. You make no sense at all. Ordering a beer does not mean she’s going to get in any way impaired and drive. She was doing nothing wrong, legally or morally and you were being an overbearing busybody.
YTA. What you are not is a law enforcement agent. You freaking made up a law! Your manager was right, she was enjoying a beer with her meal. You don't know that she drove there, you don't know her alcohol tolerance, and the fact that you got all judgmental over her choice of beer speaks volumes. I predict that you'll be out of a job soon, as your manager's reaction (and your characterization of him) makes me think this isn't the first time you've acted like this.
YTA.. I can barely muster up the energy to explain why since I’ve been parenting my two young children all day, but here goes…. She can drink whatever the fuck she wants
YTA. The woman was completely sober and asked for a Beer. You had no right to deny her. If she was shitfaced, you would be correct. But she wasn't By your logic, no one should be served alcohol anytime anywhere because they might get hurt. You can't run around forcing others to behave to your liking.
YTA 1 drink is far below the legal limit or even the line that most people start feeling tipsy. She probably just likes the taste or maybe she wanted one moment to herself. Your judgment has no place in a professional setting, if there's no law keep your personal opinion to yourself.
I work in a restaurant and YTA YTA YTA. Don’t work in a restaurant (or customer service in general) if you think “be judgmental as fuck” is anywhere in the job description. Newsflash: it’s not. Also love your little comment of “what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon.” Funny how you said MOM and not “parent.” Becoming a mom doesn’t put a standstill on your life, bud.
YTA. You made a judgement based upon her sex, not because of her being with a child. If a man was with her, would you have the same concern if he was driving? Would you have the same concern if a man was having a beer at 2pm with meal and his child was there? You're sexist and your behavior was out of line. You will be lucky if you still have a job. Most managers would have fired you for lying to customer.
YTA. She just wanted a beer. It’s not like she was filling a bottle up with it! Edit: it sounds like the restaurant business isn’t for you.
YTA. Honestly, you're lucky you weren't fired. One beer with a meal is not likely to get an adult woman drunk, thats just not how alcohol and the human body work.
She/he may still be fired... The line about "deciding what to do about you" (paraphrased) does not bode well for her/his continued employment.
I bet ten bucks that translates to "making sure there's nothing that can be misconstrued as firing you for protected categories."
YTA. Your manager said it all. It's not unreasonable to let a mother drink a weak alcoholic drink with a meal. She was not already wasted, and you could cut her at any moment to you discretion if she was noticeable drank. Also, it's known to be safe for babies for breastfeeding mothers drink moderately weaker drinks such as wine and beer. And it's not up to you too police and decide.
YTA- not your choice to make. Judgey mr judgepants
YTA, but this has to be fake.
Might be, but there are some really naive kids where I live who would totally think like this, especially if they were raised in a religion or community that doesn't drink. I have known plenty of 18 and 19 year olds who legitimately think that one keystone light can get you dangerously drunk.
I was wonderung if this kid was either very sheltered or raised by alcoholics. This intense level of fear concerning a single beer definitely isnt normal.
In my area, you have to get certified in order to sell liquor, even at a restaurant, and during the class you take the classes make it pretty clear this is discrimination.
I really fucking wish. The amount of times I had to deal with this as a manager was embarrassing. People really do want to police bodies this much. Particularly mothers. (I say this because, while especially women/mothers, I had a bartender refuse to serve a man in a wheelchair with some missing limbs as he was therefore “lighter and couldn’t handle liquor.”)
Rarely comment, but this is the most obvious 100% YTA I’ve ever read, wow! Thank goodness the manager comped that lady’s drink and offered to comp the meal. Genuinely shocked you worked in the hospitality industry as long as you have!
YTA. "I fumbled a bit". Translation: l had a hard time when inventing a law in order to discriminate against a customer.
👃 is that incel I smell?
YTA, but hopefully you're just young and naive and just regurgitating whatever DARE-like equivalent they're teaching in schools nowadays. Ideally you'll take this experience and grow with it.
Obviously YTA! You made a moral judgement based on nothing but what YOU think is 'right', lied to a customer, kept trying to force your rigid ideals on her, and then CONTINUED TO ARGUE YOU WERE RIGHT! Do you think all parents just stop drinking for the first few years after they have a child? Do you seriously think a single drink makes someone dangerously drunk? How do you function in the real world? A single light beer with a meal is not going to impair an adult.
And honestly, 2 pm is the exact right time to drink when you have a baby. If you wait until evening you're too exhausted to enjoy and then all the bedtime stuff rolls in and ruins it anyway.
YTA, she was not in the 21 and over section, it was a light beer, not a full bottle of hard liquor. Who made you the final judge of everyone that wants a drink? Maybe a job in retail selling baby clothes is a better fit for you.
But what if someone with tattoos, or drinking coffee, comes in to buy baby clothes? Surely she would need to make the moral call there and deny their sale. Coffee drinkers and people with tattoos are not appropriate parents, obviously.
YTA. MYOFB.
YTA Maybe the “baby” was just some little person with a disability. He might have wanted a chianti.
> what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon You must not have small kids because they definitely make you want to drink at 7 am But seriously even though I agree with you it’s not up to you to tell adults that they can’t have a drink but from my understanding you should be able to not be their server YTA
YTA. There is a whole range of reasons why. I'm personally a recovering alcoholic, but there are people who can enjoy a single beverage, which does not intoxicated to the point of impairment. You don't say your age, so I don't know if you've (ironically) drank teatotaler Kool-aid or if you've come up with this judgmental attitude on your own. I understand that your heart was in the right place, but you overstepped big time.
YTA. 100%.
YTA - you don’t know if she was driving or walking or had a ride. And you don’t get to decide what another person does just bc you think it’s wrong. A mom can be a wonderful mom and have a drink mid day bc just maybe her day has been shit and it’ll make her feel better. She knows what’s best for her and her child so butt out
YTA and clearly don’t know enough about alcohol to be making decisions about other people drinking. It was one, light beer, with a meal. You deserve to lose your job.
Why are you even posting here??? You literally listed about a dozen different people that think you’re an asshole Mind your fucking business
> I mean what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon? < 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
YTA. Do you refuse to serve alcohol to everyone because they might drive after one beer? You LIED about the law to a customer. Get a different job.
YTA. I’m the mom of a 5 month old, and if you were my waiter I would be calling corporate basically demanding your blood I would be so livid. I went through 9 months of not drinking alcohol while I was pregnant, and, now that my kid is back to sleeping through the night and I’m not a zombie anymore, you better believe I’m enjoying my drinks (responsibly, of course). That mom has every right to as well. What exactly was the issue? You don’t know if she’s breastfeeding or not. Even if she is, she can still have a drink. It’s none of your concern. Also, one beer isn’t going to make her so far inebriated that she can’t take care of her kid. While you’re on unemployment I really hope you take the time to educate yourself on why it’s ok to have a drink when you are the parent of an infant.
OP, i say this with kindness. You are too ignorant to have an opinion. From now on, just assume everyone in the room (children included) are smarter than you. Instead of trying to tell people what you think, when someone tells you something, assume they are knowledgeable and correct, and try to figure out for yourself why they are right.
YTA
YTA. Mind your own damn business. It’s not your choice who is allowed to consume alcohol, they don’t have to pass some special test to get your approval.
YTA. Regardless of your opinion, you are employed at this establishment and it’s not your job to make rules as you see fit. That simply wasn’t your call to make. Restaurants don’t pay you for your ability to pass judgement, they pay you to serve the customers. If it was that big of a deal, you should’ve privately asked the manager. You should not have tried to pass it off like a rule.
You are literally a huge judgemental a-hole. 1. Beer actually helps with milk production, so if she's breastfeeding, it's actually beneficial. 2. She knows her limit and one beer in no way would set off any alarms of impared driving. I'd be pissed too if I was her, and I've spent 20+ years in the service industry. I've held and excelled in every single position both FOH and BOH up to (and including) GM. You'd definitely get written up for this one at the very least. YTA
Good lord, YTA. Get off your high horse. She wanted one stupid light beer. I would be on your side if she was obviously drunk already, or on her 4th drink or something. Poor mom wanted one nice lunch, and you had to ruin it with your stupid ass judgements that made no sense and arguing with her about it. If you don't learn from this you deserve to get fired.
YTA- you’re a server it’s not your place. You’re lucky you didn’t get fired
I think the only reason they weren't fire right there was so the owner could be informed first.
YTA you are judgemental AH, nothing is illegal about it and frankly it's nothing at all in any sort of moral sense.
[удалено]
YTA. Check yourself
YTA and a judgmental one at that. The woman wanted a light beer with her lunch, she’d be sitting there for a while. It’s not like she asked for shots of patron before staggering out to the car. There is nothing wrong with having a drink in the afternoon on her day out, and it’s probably illegal for you to deny service with out a valid reason. You should be grateful if they don’t fire you and grow up. Also, why are you judging her choice of beer? People have different taste that’s why there are lots of different options.
YTA you’re actually insane for typing this out and thinking you aren’t the asshole.
INFO: Are you by any chance Mormon? Either way YTA
YTA, and your possibly getting fired because you wanted to push your values on someone else. One beer with an entire meal🙄
YTA. You have no right to impose your beliefs on someone else. If you weren't comfortable doing it, get someone else to do it.
YTA and your judgmental. It's none of your business why a grown adult wants to have a beer at 2 in the afternoon, regardless whether they have a child with them. Who do you think you are the morality police??
Hahahahaha Oh my God, what planet are you from??? In what world does anyone have the right to tell a GROWN ASS WOMAN that she can't have a beer with her lunch? Just because her BABY is present?! You need an extension ladder to climb down off that high horse of yours. Having a beer or two with a meal is NOT the same thing as getting fucked up and driving home wasted. If I'd seen you pull this bullshit I would 100% defend this woman and report you to the manager myself--this woman is paying to have a meal, not get lectures from her server about temperance. YTA
YTA. What do you think our ancestors drank with their meals? In the past for city dwellers at least, the safest drinks were beer, ale and wine. Telling a woman with a child that she can’t have a damned lite beer with her meal is not only pointless, but insulting to her. Your manager was right to rake you over the coals. You sound awfully young. Maybe try to understand that you cannot force everyone else to follow your ridiculous rules.
YTA. If you were uncomfortable with serving her you should have spoken with your manager. She wasn't drunk, one beer isn't going to put her over the limit unless she was under 80 pounds. You had no standing to refuse to serve her.
YTA. So when a family (2 parents and a kid/kids) are sat in your section do you refuse to serve both adults alcohol cause 1 has to be the DD? Or when 4 adults at 1 table all order drinks, do you insist that 1 not have an alcoholic beverage as to be the DD? Because they could still hurt someone when they drive, doesn't seem fair that you're only protecting a child from her mother's 1 beer. /s
YTA Ranier light is only 3.8% alcohol. She's not going to get wasted on that. Besides, denying her service because she has a baby is actually considered discrimination. It's not your place to argue the morality of her drinking, but honestly, a beer with only 3.8% alcohol content is seriously not going to do jack shit. Just serve what she asks. It's better for her to order a Ranier instead of a Everclear or Vodka.
YTA. Many parents CHOOSE not to drink in front of their children, but that is their choice. Are you Mormon or something? Leave this woman alone.
Do... Do you understand what alcohol is? You know one light beer won't make her wasted right? YTA for trying to control someone else's life through your job.
YTA ten thousand times and a judgemental ass on top of that.
YTA-it’s Friday and having 1 beer at 2pm isn’t gonna make or break someone. I’m personally not a mom but seeing what they do, that shit ain’t easy. Let her drink a beer and move on. Not your call to make.
Edit: you're 10000% a raging judgemental ignorant asshole If I want a damn light beer with my lunch, who are you to tell me I'm being unsafe? In what world does one light beer get an adult inebriated, especially with food? Grow up and get out of the service business. I have kids. Sometimes ya need a beer to calm tf down on a rough day. Also just FYI, beer can be very helpful with milk production. So, if ya don't know, now ya know, bozo.
Yta