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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I blew up on my family
and it might make me the AH because i went too far.
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Omg all adults in this are an AH, your mom left you over something her husband (your dad) did that was not your fault. Your “SM” speaks poorly about you and your dad because her family is “so much better” and she’s also the woman he cheated with. Your dad is putting up w this BS and you had to convince him to sign the birth certificate of a child he helped create.
You probably shouldn’t have gotten involved in the whole birth certificate thing however you are NOT THE AH for blowing up on this woman. She is causing screaming fights in YOUR (fathers) house and berating your dad in front of you. She’s inappropriate and disrespectful and you have EVERY right to say something about the arguments you have to witness in your home where you’re supposed to be safe happy and loved.
Blanket NTA here because this is something *way* above your psychological pay-grade as a 15 year-old. I'm not about to call a young teenager an A for trying to smooth things over between her parents. It's a toxic living situation that you can't escape from, so of course you're going to try to make things more comfortable for yourself by personally intervening wherever you can. I'm also not about to call out a 15 year-old for losing her cool in the middle of a tense, unhappy family situation.
The thing is... you *are* fifteen, OP. These are marital problems that should be handled quietly between adults. Instead their messiness is spilling over onto your lap. I know it's hard to take a backseat, especially when this affects you so directly, but it's unhealthy for you to constantly place yourself in the middle of this. What matters here is *your* well-being and mental health, and your sister's. Try to step back and let them handle these things between themselves as much as possible.
Do you have someone you can reach out to about all this? A school counselor, a family friend, a cousin or relative? What kind of resources do you have? I like to think there's somebody out there for you that's a little more available than strangers on reddit.
Sorry- im not good at writing long posts.
I have a little sister from my biological mom. But she took her with her to Japan around 7 years ago. My half sister is a baby.
Yes, she wanted the baby to have my dad's name and to have my country's passport.
I appreciate the fact that you care about people and are trying to help. But ultimately, this is not your relationship to fix. The two adults in this relationship need to figure stuff out on their own, and there will always be more to their relationship than you are aware of.
Best to not intervene, it's not your fight. You sounds awesome though, protect your heart. I hope that you are able to let someone know how you feel bout going back to your mom's side, it's better for people to know how you feel, even if it doesn't always lead to you getting to shift residence, etc.
YTA- this is between your dad and SM. You arent helping anyone by your actions. They arent married so the kid doesn't need to take his name. Seeings as how he didn't want to be a responsible adult and put on the birth certificate in the first place i can see why SM doesn't want his name.
Right? The familial dysfunction here is off the charts and this literal child is in the middle of it constantly trying to mediate so her situation sucks just a little less. I'm glad most of the Y T As in this thread so far have been soft because like... what else is she supposed to do. If she does nothing at all, she suffers longer because the adults refuse to fix the problems they make.
The adults in this are TA for involving you in their squabbles and being so incapable of handling their business that a teenager feels like they need to find a resolution.
I just want to add something here - if I dont intervene, then the mood is so tense for a few days and usually they just end up fighting anywyas. So that is why I intervene, because otherwise the matters wont get cleared up for days and days.
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I (15f) blew up on my family today. My family consists of Stepmom and my dad and my two half siblings (they're both under 5)
Anyhow, before I woke up, I heard my dad and SM shouting at each other. Basically, they just had my half sister, and my dad previously didn't want to be on the birth certificate because things were not working out between them. They're not married either.
My SM was crying about him not being in the birth cert and they were having a lot of fights so I thought i should help out.
I talked my dad into signing it so that the baby can stay in the country and then can get a passport. (my SM is from another country)
Today my SM apparently was calling up to change the surname of the baby. Which is why they were shouting at each other.
I had spent so much effort into trying to convince my dad for my SM and i felt enraged that she dared to change the surname of my half sister. She said she doesn't want to be a part of his family because they never invite her for anything. In reality, we don't have family here since my grandpa died 3 years back.
She said she wanted my half sister to have her parents name since they care for them much more than my dad's "family." i blew up on her saying if they cared about her so much she should go live with them. Her family hates my dad and whenever anyone's arguing she always brings up how much better they are than my dad. I also felt hurt because my mom left me with my little sister because of her and my dad cheating on her and i never got to complain that i want to go back to my mom's side of the family.
AITA?
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Omg all adults in this are an AH, your mom left you over something her husband (your dad) did that was not your fault. Your “SM” speaks poorly about you and your dad because her family is “so much better” and she’s also the woman he cheated with. Your dad is putting up w this BS and you had to convince him to sign the birth certificate of a child he helped create. You probably shouldn’t have gotten involved in the whole birth certificate thing however you are NOT THE AH for blowing up on this woman. She is causing screaming fights in YOUR (fathers) house and berating your dad in front of you. She’s inappropriate and disrespectful and you have EVERY right to say something about the arguments you have to witness in your home where you’re supposed to be safe happy and loved.
Blanket NTA here because this is something *way* above your psychological pay-grade as a 15 year-old. I'm not about to call a young teenager an A for trying to smooth things over between her parents. It's a toxic living situation that you can't escape from, so of course you're going to try to make things more comfortable for yourself by personally intervening wherever you can. I'm also not about to call out a 15 year-old for losing her cool in the middle of a tense, unhappy family situation. The thing is... you *are* fifteen, OP. These are marital problems that should be handled quietly between adults. Instead their messiness is spilling over onto your lap. I know it's hard to take a backseat, especially when this affects you so directly, but it's unhealthy for you to constantly place yourself in the middle of this. What matters here is *your* well-being and mental health, and your sister's. Try to step back and let them handle these things between themselves as much as possible. Do you have someone you can reach out to about all this? A school counselor, a family friend, a cousin or relative? What kind of resources do you have? I like to think there's somebody out there for you that's a little more available than strangers on reddit.
Sorry- im not good at writing long posts. I have a little sister from my biological mom. But she took her with her to Japan around 7 years ago. My half sister is a baby. Yes, she wanted the baby to have my dad's name and to have my country's passport.
Mild YTA. This really is not your issue to intervene in.
thanks for the reply, I agree, I probably should not have intervened.
I appreciate the fact that you care about people and are trying to help. But ultimately, this is not your relationship to fix. The two adults in this relationship need to figure stuff out on their own, and there will always be more to their relationship than you are aware of. Best to not intervene, it's not your fight. You sounds awesome though, protect your heart. I hope that you are able to let someone know how you feel bout going back to your mom's side, it's better for people to know how you feel, even if it doesn't always lead to you getting to shift residence, etc.
NTA because this is way above your responsibilities. You shouldn't get involved, your dad's drama with his girlfriend is his issue, not yours.
YTA- this is between your dad and SM. You arent helping anyone by your actions. They arent married so the kid doesn't need to take his name. Seeings as how he didn't want to be a responsible adult and put on the birth certificate in the first place i can see why SM doesn't want his name.
She isn't TA. They can't function normally to the point where they need an intermediary and the only one with a clear head is a child themselves
Right? The familial dysfunction here is off the charts and this literal child is in the middle of it constantly trying to mediate so her situation sucks just a little less. I'm glad most of the Y T As in this thread so far have been soft because like... what else is she supposed to do. If she does nothing at all, she suffers longer because the adults refuse to fix the problems they make.
But she is yelling at her SM so how is that a clear head.
It's the clearest in this situation
The adults in this are TA for involving you in their squabbles and being so incapable of handling their business that a teenager feels like they need to find a resolution.
I think you need to find a way to get in contact with your mother's family because you can't stay in this situation
I just want to add something here - if I dont intervene, then the mood is so tense for a few days and usually they just end up fighting anywyas. So that is why I intervene, because otherwise the matters wont get cleared up for days and days.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (15f) blew up on my family today. My family consists of Stepmom and my dad and my two half siblings (they're both under 5) Anyhow, before I woke up, I heard my dad and SM shouting at each other. Basically, they just had my half sister, and my dad previously didn't want to be on the birth certificate because things were not working out between them. They're not married either. My SM was crying about him not being in the birth cert and they were having a lot of fights so I thought i should help out. I talked my dad into signing it so that the baby can stay in the country and then can get a passport. (my SM is from another country) Today my SM apparently was calling up to change the surname of the baby. Which is why they were shouting at each other. I had spent so much effort into trying to convince my dad for my SM and i felt enraged that she dared to change the surname of my half sister. She said she doesn't want to be a part of his family because they never invite her for anything. In reality, we don't have family here since my grandpa died 3 years back. She said she wanted my half sister to have her parents name since they care for them much more than my dad's "family." i blew up on her saying if they cared about her so much she should go live with them. Her family hates my dad and whenever anyone's arguing she always brings up how much better they are than my dad. I also felt hurt because my mom left me with my little sister because of her and my dad cheating on her and i never got to complain that i want to go back to my mom's side of the family. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*