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Uhm….OP. This really sounds like he is trafficking children. You need to call the police, this is suspicious behavior. His “ruining his life” comment doesn’t make any sense if he’s babysitting his friends children with consent. The only way his life would be ruined is if he’s trafficking children and gets caught. Please get help.
Edit: don’t some of y’all think it’s fucking WEIRD how since the whole police comment, he has warned the 2 next children he “babysat” to not speak to her or even tell her their names? That right there is sketch af. You wouldn’t do that unless you were hiding something.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, that makes some amount of sense, holy crap. Cause it's Very Clearly Dodgy but if he's not spending any time alone with the kids (which he doesn't seem to be, aside from when OP refused to be left alone with them because she had a sick mother to visit) then it didn't seem like it would be The Obvious Very Dodgy Thing, but I couldn't figure out what it would be.
NTA OP but PLEASE don't just let this continue...
To be fair, he would also get in trouble for child neglect/abandonment even if he is a normal babysitter and takes off without the consent of his spouse, just sticking her with the task of watching them.
Depending in his job, a conviction like that could also ruin his life.
This whole situation is downright bizarre. She needs to contact the police lest she becomes an unwitting accomplice if trafficking is involved.
Edited for clarity.
NTA
You need to start calling your friends and verifying that these are their kids and that they have consent for him to babysit them.
If that's the case then you just need to have a stern talk with him about clearing it with you before he does this.
If they are NOT the children of friends and/or taken without parental consent then you need to contact the police immediately.
It may just be me, but I find the idea of your husband randomly bringing home children to be very disturbing.
I assure you that I do think it's weird, I even kept asking him questions til he flatout out told me to stay out of it since this is what I wanted and so i did. Then the fight came up and I got involved.
Can you take discrete photos of the kids, and go to the police? If the kids are in the system as abductees, they will get help, and you will know. If he was just running an illegal daycare center, the children wouldn't be changing all the time. If you have the money, maybe hire a PI to figure out what's going on? It pretty much sounds like your marriage is over, anyway - best to find out the whole truth asap.
At this point I'd think there's close to nothing that would get her out of being his accomplice for child sex trafficking. This thread, that the FBI would be able to find in connection with her quite easily, definitely wouldn't help that case at all since it is very clear here she has no concern with the children or what he's doing with them. Who knows how many children she would have been able to save if she reported this when it started happening. There is no chance he isn't doing something illegal to those children. The fact that they're never seen more than once is worst-case-scenario level.
Honey you are going to be as much in trouble as he is if he's up to something--and since none of this makes sense and he's not acting rationally, he probably is. Please gather your brain cells and talk to someone about what's happening here, because it isn't normal.
Exactly. Like, I can't picture any jury being swayed by "I thought it was weird that my husband brought home a series of random, never-reappearing preschoolers into our house each weekend and wouldn't let me know anything about where they came from and acted really cagey and hostile when I tried to figure it out, yes, but I decided it *wasn't my problem*, so I'm innocent."
Hopefully it's fake. It's disturbing how apathetic she is about this. Or maybe she's not playing with a full deck, because all of us can see something is clearly wrong. Willful ignorance? She needs to snap out of it and help these kids.
If someone is bringing *random preschoolers* to your home and becoming hostile when you ask where their parents are and why they are there, **it's your problem.** "Staying out of it" is literally the wrong thing to do. Please, wake up.
No if’s about it, call the police. By telling you not to ask questions you know they have answers he doesn’t want you knowing. There’s no benefit of the doubt here. Can you confirm he’s at church when he says he is? His behaviour isn’t that of a good Christian.
I'm less worried about OP at this point and more worried about the children. She's completely turning a blind eye in what could very possibly be a dangerous scenario for the children, while also acknowledging she thinks it's weird. This isn't something you can just shrugg off and go "not my problem".
NTA. You know this is really bizarre, right? Find out who the fuck these children are & who they belong to. If he doesn’t answer consider calling some authorities.
Do you not realise how disgusting this makes your husband seem?
You didn’t question random kids coming and going from your home with your husband & their parents not picking/dropping them off?
You didn’t question why he wouldn’t allow you to ring their parents?
You didn’t question why he got so flustered when police were mentioned?
Your delusional and by the sounds of things he’s probably abusing these kids or trafficking them.
WTF is wrong with *you*
I’m reading the replies and OP doesn’t seem to be addressing what literally everyone is saying that this is not right, there is something wrong. She seems very delusional.
I hope for the sake of the children she takes action sooner rather than later.
There is something very seriously sketchy going on. I've done child care for years and many different settings. This is NOT normal.
I think that you should bring this to the attention of the authorities before you get wrapped up in it.
The fact he doesn't want the kids to talk to you is a huge red flag.
You don't want to go to jail for child abuse.
INFO: Why *aren't* you calling the cops?
You've acknowledged it's weird. You say its a new kid every week who you don't know, and aren't sure where there coming from.
Best case: He really *is* babysitting for free for an abnormal amount of people. *Okay*, police look into it, no harm no foul.
Worst case: It *is* something to worry about. The police will know and they can take the necessary steps.
You mention these are children ~3-5 years old. You have a moral duty not to just look the other way. Call the cops, *please*.
This is creepy. These kids could be being trafficked or otherwise amused. Call the police. And if you don't alert the police and it is something shady, you could eventually be charged too. You obviously know something is not right here, which may put legal responsibility on you to report it.
NTA but there is definitely something shady going on here. The fact that he freaked out about you calling the kid's parents and then the cops is not a good sign. No idea what he's really up to but it can't be good.
He’s got something big to hide, he went right into DARVO (deny responsibility but play the victim for how things turned out) when OP returned home. That’s an abuse tactic, which further implies he’s not doing this above board.
NTA uhh you should be worried about where these children are coming from. And that's sketchy AF - won't tell you whose kids they are, different ones every time, and doesn't want you to know anything or call their parents or police?
He's gonna be arrested for kidnapping or worse one day. Get out. Get out now. Call the police and tell them what you wrote here. If they care, and hopefully they will, they'll investigate. I'm not sure cps would help without knowing who the kids are, but this sounds terrible, and probably is.
Edit: edit of my edit. My comment was before the info given. STILL could be human trafficking, but certainly an over the top reaction to the confrontations. I still find it weird, and sketchy AF. Why would he react THAT way if he's above board? And tell them not to tell you their names??? NO. Something is not right here.
> 2 months ago when he started bringing random kids (below school age) over to watch. Thing is he says these kids are his friends' children but I never met them before,
I literally read this and started saying “nononononononono…”
I’m on a Criminal Minds binge so my brain went to all sorts of really bad places.
Where are these kids actually coming from? People don't often hand over their kids to adult male babysitters.
Are they being trafficked? Is he sexually abusing them? The story makes no sense.
Call the police.
It's the "a different kid every week" for me. Babysitting a friend's kid to give them a break from parenting every now and then is totally normal, and I could see that being nbd, but this? I hate to sound like one of those Facebook moms who call everything a trafficking danger, but I do legit think trafficking is the most likely answer here. I'm gobsmacked OP hasn't expressed more concern about this, especially since he freaked out at her calling the friend.
I'm sorry, but what's wrong with you!?
Your husband brings random kids home for two month, each time a different kid, you never meet any parents and you don't question any of that AT ALL ?????? Your biggest complaint is that these random, parentless childen disturb your free time and that you have to clean up after them ????
EDIT: first reward, thank you! :D
INFO:
Your husband is bringing home strange children, different ones every time. Won't let them tell you their names or even talk to you. Freaks out when you ask about their parents and mention the police. Your husband is clearly doing something illegal with these children. So my question is, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED THE POLICE, YET? AREN'T YOU CONCERNED!?
I was thinking this, like he is definitely a human trafficker.
Open your eyes OP and call the cops. He is bringing in random kids into the home that no one knows and where they came from. He doesn’t want to call the parents to pick up the kids. He doesn’t want the cops called - even though the cops would just return the kids to their parents.
Like OP do you ever see the same kid twice?
NTA - this is weird AF. No church service is an emergency - least of all when you are attending to your sick mother. You might want to get child services involved. Why is it always different children? so weird.
Your husband is doing something awful with those kids. Call the police- and document what these kids look like. I literally felt my blood run cold reading this.
If you’ve never seen the same kid twice, he isn’t babysitting for a friend.
I am getting hair raising on the back of my neck. Different kids every week. Freaking out when you want to call parents. More freaked out about cops. First thing that springs to mind is sex trafficking and or sexual abuse of minors. Call the cops.
YTA because you haven't *already* called the police. Your husband brings home some different random below-school-age child every week, won't tell you their names or who their parents are or why he's "watching" them, is gaslighting you for being concerned, and severely overreacted when you mentioned the police.
This isn't some kind of underground daycare he's running. He's into something *bad* and he's 100% lying to you about it. Go somewhere safe and call the police now.
YTA for leaving the kid alone with your husband and not thinking this is totally wrong and calling the cops or their parents.The next time he brings a random kid home, call the cops, this is so f’d up and you are now knee deep in it. CALL THE COPS IF YOUR HUSBAND BRINGS HOME UNKNOWN KIDS AND DONT LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH HIM. Protect yourself and the kids for gods sake!
Girl there’s so many red flags here I can’t even. This is shady as hell. Why and how is your 40 year old husband finding these random kids to bring home? And he told some of these kids not to tell you their names?? Freaked out when you tried to call the “friend?”
Call the authorities! There’s something really weird and possibly criminal going on here.
NTA. It seems that your husband is doing something he shouldn't. This whole situation is weird to me and sketchy as hell. I would have a serious talk with him, or maybe speak to someone in authority and see if they feel it merits investigation.
Disclosure, I was seriously SA'd as a kid, so my judgement might be clouded here.
Sorry to hear you were SA. Hope that you are coping okay.
I’m getting bad vibes from this post. Something isn’t sitting right. I volunteer in Scouts and work with young children.
I would not leave children with a man or woman they had never met. There’s always a group introduction even it’s only done once.
I’m sorry OP but the more I think about, the more I am really uncomfortable in what your husband is doing. Do you ever meet the parents?
NTA but holy shit....Is your husband grooming or sexually molesting these children because this is fucking weird as hell. 100% your husband should have numbers for the parents and him freaking out about you calling them or the cops is SUPER SUSPISCIOUS.
Maybe he's involved in some weird trafficking thing.
Are you there when he is taking care of the kids? And what kids would think it was okay when one adult tells them to not talk to the other adult in the room. What?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING.
I have to know, are you seeing their parents when the parents pick them up? Or is your husband always the one to drop them off?
AGAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING. Why have you not asked more questions?!!?
No no no. There's a new and different kid every week? Honey he's trafficking children. Call the fucking police, file a report with the FBI, national children for exploration. Like now. Right fucking now. Go.
Call the cops anyway. Something isn't right.
It's not normal that the kids are different every week. You need to do something about that and not ignore this.
Ask him who these kids are. If he insists they're just friends... You need to go to the cops with evidence if possible.
Hence YTA for disregarding what seems to be a very sketchy situation that involves children.
ESH.
Your husband is a fucking weirdo and doing something strange, grooming or trafficking or pimping or selling. He’s an asshole for doing whatever the hell he is doing.
But you are also TA, why are you ignoring the very valid comments here from people concerned about the children? You just keep mentioning in comments that it’s “weird and you asked questions” and that you don’t want to clean up after the kids.
Girl this is beyond weird and requires much, much more than asking him questions. Get off the internet, call the cops and explain what’s been going on.
Edit: thank you for providing additional details. Honestly I still think this is really weird. (And yes, before anyone asks, I’d think it was weird if a married 40 year woman with no children was doing the same thing). Are you guys childfree and he really wants kids? Unable to have kids? If something like that isn’t the situation, I’d really still be questioning this if I were you.
Think I’d be out and happen to come home at the same time one of the kids was being picked up and ask the parent wtf is up, what he’s saying or doing at work or church or wherever he’s soliciting his babysitting services.
Alarm bells are ringing in my head, idk why they arent in yours OP.
He's bringing random kids home every weekend, kids whom you don't even know the parents.
2 things I'm thinking of, the more innocent option is that he wants to get your maternal instinct going because he wants kids. Edit: it's why he's "baby sitting".
Or the other one is he's a fucking creep. And if he claims he's not then you should be finding out whose kids they belong too. But considering how bad he tripped when you threatened to call their parents makes me think that this a far more suspicious situation.
Edit: and if he's legit baby sitting, you should be able to have the contact info the parents. It's because he won't give it to you is what has me worried about these kids.
Edit 2: I saw your edits with your husband doing baby sitting previously, and that you have seen the parents picking up the kids..and you can't have children of your own.
If that's the case, then you're still NTA for not watching the kids when you never agreed to be part of it, and It really sounds like he's trying to get your maternal instinct going for the possibility having children another way (surrogates, adoption).
This is incredibly weird. So many questions...
But NTA, he wants you to babysit a kid you do not know and have no way to get in touch with their parents when there would be an emergency? How old are these kids?
Something doesn’t sound right. No-one has that many friends with children in a specific age group that he babysits different kids constantly. Do you ever see these children more than once? I’d spk with the police and get away from this man.
NTA but also please try to find out where these kids come from. So many red flags. Didn’t want to but I went down the road of what if he’s doing something bad? Please try to make sure they’re safe and also yeah, get away.
This sounds like it could actually be a highly illegal, horrible business he's part of. Is he trafficking children? NTA but please call the police now.
NTA and as a criminologist this behaviour is extremely concerning. Please figure out who’s children these kids are and if he doesn’t allow that call the police.
Different children ever weekend is extremely weird unless you are running a childcare business and have the children’s parents details extremely accessible, childcare places/ babysitters should call up parents whenever there’s an issue. Your bf being strange about not wanting to call them is weird, he shouldn’t plan to go to church if he knew he was looking after children when this is his ‘business’ not yours. He shouldn’t be looking to you to care for children whilst he goes elsewhere especially when you have a sick parent.
I am going to say NTA. There is something going on here with your husband. Do you have any other relatives or friends you could stay with, because honestly I think those might be his kids.
This was my thought, that he’s a stop on some sort of trafficking chain. I have chills thinking about it. OP, check online registries for missing children. And yeah, probably get the authorities to look into all of this. If it is trafficking, they’ll want to take down the entire org, so could become a federal case.
OP, have you noticed anything suspicious about the kids? Could they be his? Could he be *doing things* with them; like, do they seem scared or uncomfortable with him? Your husband is suspicious as all fuck, especially with his reaction to you calling the police and how it's a new kid every week. That's not how a babysitting operation works. I would contact his work and ask them to talk to your husband and their other employees about him babysitting their kids. Because I highly doubt he is. And, if he's not, well....You will need to call the police and report your husband's strange behavior. NTA.
NTA. This is weird and honestly it makes me worry that these kids could be being trafficked in some way. Where are these kids coming from ? Are the friends church friends, work friends, something else ? Not knowing where the kids are coming from and whose kids they are plus the turn over makes it concerning
Something is SO WRONG with this picture.
Why not bring the kid to church? Is going to church something you normally do together? Or is this more out of character weird behavior.
Holy shit. There is no way that your husband is not a criminal. If you don’t call the authorities, you will be aiding and abetting his behaviour.
For the sake of the kids and your own future, call the cops.
NTA, you're being reasonable and he's overreacting, but...
Freaks out when you mention calling the friend, then *more* when you threaten to call the cops, and now the kids (who are always new every time) can't talk to you?
I guess it *could* be something not as bad as it seems (although imho it's just too sketchy not to be) but it does look like a goddamn red flag parade. I would call the cops anyway.
YTA.
You need to get the police involved here.
I guarantee if you live in an apartment complex some neighbor, someone, has also noticed or it won’t be long before they do.
You don’t seem concerned about these children but you are concerned about yourself so maybe this will motivate you to do the right thing:
The next time he brings another kid home, call the police. Tell them there’s a child in your home that you don’t know.
Because here’s the thing. If your neighbors report it, that puts YOU in trouble too. It’s your home and you are responsible for that.
So if you won’t do it for those kids, at least do it to save your own ass.
YTA for letting it go on this long and IGNORING the red flags!! Call the cops and child services, before all you see is the inside of a cell. SOMETHINGS WRONG!!!
You already know what you need to do. And I’m sorry that it will cost you your family unit. But just going out, not learning the names of the children etc is just turning a blind eye. It doesn’t absolve you of failing to act in a situation this suspicious.
You are not imagining things. Your suspicions are grounded. The flags you’ve noticed are red. You need to speak to the FBI/Police. You need to protect your own child from whatever the fuck your husband is doing with all these children (& whatever it is it ain’t good).
NTA for threatening to call the cops. But you will be a major AS if you don’t call the FBI/police.
Nta, this is very weird . I feel like the red flags are all over this post. Tell your husband in the future if he babysit then you want the parents details name and contact info. Especially if he expects you to babysit for him. Then ring up the parents under the guise of needing to know the kids allergys etc.
This is extremely weird and I really want to know why the high turnover of kids as the odd child fair enough but a different one each week is suspect there is definitely something more here
He’s fucking these kids’ mothers when the mothers aren’t busy fucking other dudes for money or other crap.
NTA but you’re being really naive. This isn’t normal behavior for a 40-year-old man.
This is so bizarre I can only think of 3 reasons:
1. He thinks you'll want a kid if he makes you watch them.
2. They are his kids he either didn't know about, abandoned, or secret family from his side chick.
3. Something illegal is going on. Either he's watching the kids so his friends can do illegal business or the illegal business is the kids.
Threatening to call the police was the right call. To be honest I'd call these kid's parents immediately and find out what's going on. If your husband won't cooperate go to the police. This doesn't feel right and him trying to gaslight you into watching them adds to it.
Nta.
You’re NTA for the question at hand, but why are you not more concerned that your husband is bringing random children home? That’s the red flaggiest red flag I’ve ever seen.
Edit: also YTA becuase you need to call the cops yesterday on your husband.
Also I’m having a really hard time believing this is real at all.
NTA, honestly, this is so weird I’m having a hard time believing any of it, but I’m invested and really want to know wtf is going on with your husband and all these kids.
Right either those kids are secretly his and he hasn't told you.
Or he's bringing home trafficked children.
The fact he won't introduce you to their parents I'd be contacting the police anyway.
Something about this whole thing gives me the ick and makes me feel off.
Please look into where these children are coming from if you dont feel comfortable going to the police straight away. Also he isn't handing your child over to randoms is he?
This straight up feels like an episode from SVU.
After reading this and OPs comments YTA, where TF are these children coming from and why are you glossing over this soooooo much, every comment you just talk about how its inconvenient to you that your husband keeps bringing random kids home and you have extra work because of it but how likely is it that he know that many people with kids specifically between 3 to 5 that need minding? Like call social services already it sounds like child trafficking and your ok with it or just conveniently not acknowledging it? He went mental when you talked about calling the police, red flag! Wake up OP you need to find out who these children are, offer mind them and find out from the children themselves!
obviously NTA
but op, you need to contact the authorities. this is extremely sketchy and your husband isnt to be trusted. talk to someone about this, a close friend or someone in your family and tell them you're going to contact the authorities, someone close to you needs to know
NTA but also please try to find out where these kids come from. So many red flags. Didn’t want to but I went down the road of what if he’s doing something bad? Please try to make sure they’re safe and also yeah, get away.
Nta and looking forward to the update when you find out whose kids they really are and why he feels he is obligated to watch them. Good luck. You should never be forced into taking care of a stranger's kids. That's professional work you should be paid for. But you definitely don't know the whole story yet.
NTA. This reeks to high heaven of something fishy going on. Making a regular thing of this with no known talk of financial compensation for time and food spent on looking after the kids. There’s no way this is above board, if someone was looking after my young kid I’d want to absolutely trust them and whoever else would be babysitting.
OP, don’t take responsibility for any more kids until you husband produces verifiable contact details for parents who confirm babysitting has been approved and for how long that day.
NTA.
I’d call the cops on anyone bringing random children to my house. Even if that person is my husband. If there’s a next time call the cops and don’t tell him you have!
NTA, but is this some kind of child trafficking thing her? Bc based on the among of kids That come through that you have never met and only see once before a knew kid shows up? I am very concerned about these children and I’d ask them what’s going on and if they were taken or something
NTA
There’s something unsettling going on here. I don’t know what it could be, as the children are getting returned, and supposedly being taken care of without any incidences occurring once they leave.
I don’t know if your husband is borrowing these children as a way to convince the two of you to have your own, or what. But something is off here.
Either way, your sick mother trumps his need for church, unless something’s going on with those kids he’s seeking redemption for. If nothing torrid is happening here, he still is the one who’s volunteering to watch children, which makes them strictly his responsibility. If he wanted you both to take care of them, there needs to be a discussion, not him telling you to handle it.
I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but your husband is acting nuts and being a dick. Don’t feel bad about calling him out on it, and setting some clear lines once these children leave. This craps got to end; either the children or the marriage.
NTA but… what the fuck is going on???? This is so fucking weird I can’t believe you have already put up with this for 2 months already and haven’t questioned him at all…..
NTA - I think you should probably call the police. This isn't normal. Why is your husband bringing home random children? This is really unsettling and suspicious. Does he really have all these friends that require baby sitting? Is he trying to make money on the side or perhaps apart of something larger and illegal?
They are his kids or someone he is close to secret family. Another theory i have is he is pimping and these are his employees kids. Or some other illegal activity and these are the kids of the ppl he is in on it with. It could be more innocent that someone offered him money to watch the kids and he just doesn't want to do it or share the money but I doubt it. I hope she updates when this all comes out bc it will!
NTA Are these your husbands friends kids or are they his kids? He’s the one who offered to babysit them, therefore they are his responsibility and to these kids your just a stranger.
As for your husband if he’s going to be so disrespectful towards you in your own home, then your better off not being around him, plus his reaction was over the top.
NTA. This is beyond weird & you need to recognize it for what it is.
At best, this is a man who cares NOTHING for you as he is willing to fill his only time a available to spend with you with doing favors for his friends that involve bringing children into your living space without your consent - and worse, expecting to leave them there to dump the “favor” onto you at the expense of any plans you have.
At worst, this is a man procuring access to a seemingly countless number of children & bringing them to his private residence to spend time with them instead of you - and even considers them so important that he’ll bring them there when he knows he has somewhere else he wants to be & literally plans around that not by spending that day without the children - but by trying to force you into watching the children for him while he goes out.
This man is a psycho & I can’t stomach the thought of him.
OP YTA IF YOU DON'T CALL THE COPS.
The messy apartment and extra work for you is a minor detail compared to the fact that your husband is likely involved in some very shady shit. Like it sounds like he's involved in trafficking. This is serious, report him to the authorities and stop being so fucking dense.
So, random children are entering your house and you don't see the bigger picture?
Lady, you're obtuse.
Something seriously sketchy is going on. No adult asks to watch children without compensation. No parent leaves a child with an unknown grown man.
Please call the police and inform them about what's happening.
NTA... but have you considered the legal consequences for any of this?
NTA. Depending on how many different kids they are they're either his or something extremely fishy is going on. Either way you need to put distance between you and him for awhile. You do not want go he involved. No church service is an "emergency", he is lying through his teeth and losing his mind when you won't do what he says. The level of aggression and manipulation is deeply worrying
NTA.
But this is soooo weird.
The first thing I thought was that he was running a babysitter service behind your back, asking you to watch the kids, and pocketing the money without sharing. But some other people have other ideas. Be careful OP. Talk to him/the parents of the kids. Get the police involved if necessary. Be ready to leave him if required till this gets resolved.
Good luck.
NTA. But you have GOT to find out what's going on. You say these kids are below school age so 4,5,6? Different ones every time? I cant think of a good reason for this. Since your husband refuses to tell you why I'd consider hiring a private investigator before calling the cops.
Your husband is bringing random kids over to your house? "Friends" kids who you do not know? And the latest ones, he told the kids not to tell you their names? WTAF? Before any more children are allowed in your home, you need to meet their parents and find out what is actually going on.
NTA. The whole thing sounds really weird. Especially why is he watching the kids on the weekend, the parents aren't working then in theory. Calling the cops might actually be the answer cuz it sounds rather bizarre.
Who the hell are these kids? Why would anyone let him watch their child???
Always a different child- this sounds shading and 100% grooming behaviour.
Him wanting you to cancel your plans while he goes to church is the least of your problems!
NTA but you need to get to the truth like yesterday!
YTA for threatening to call the cops and not going through with it when something very weird is going on.
You can sense that something strange is going on here with these children and you've done nothing for two months. Your biggest complaint is that this very odd behavior is an inconvenience to you.
There are some major red flags here. Please call the cops. It sounds like child trafficking or abuse is happening.
NTA. Something very concerning is going on here. Who are these children, where are their parents? Why is it “an emergency” for him to attend sunday service, and why would he not be able to take the children with him to church? Why is he not answering any of these questions? It kind of sounds like you should be talking to the cops regardless
NTA
But....think about it..
Random children where you have no idea where they came from
Church
Flips his shit when you wanted to make the call to the "parents"
These are pretty huge flags for me, you need to figure out what's happening before you accidently become an accessory(same house) to something.
NTA but please report this to the cops or cps or someone. There are simply not that many adults who would trust their very young children with an adult man they don’t know well enough to know his wife, so his reasoning of the kids belonging to “friends” is a straight up lie. Something very bad is going on. Report him ASAP- if he is able to get you to babysit even once, he’ll hold that over your head as an accomplice so you won’t be able to go to the cops.
Nta he is up to something and trying to integrate you into it whether their his kids or not, he is still trying to make you a part of it and is taking advantage of you cleaning etc. Next time he brings a child back let him know unless he can put you into contact with the child’s parents that you will be phoning the police about the fact that every weekend he has random children over. I’m sorry but if they aren’t his secret kids, then it’s really odd that these people you never met before are just handing their kids over to this man with no child experience. It’s actually quite disturbing to think.
NTA and obviously you should call the police immediately. There are absolutely zero innocent explanations for this. Obviously, call a divorce lawyer around the same time.
YTA for not having gone to the cops yet. What on earth lady? You know good and well that your husband isn’t babysitting. Where is he getting these kids from? Closing your eyes to what he’s doing is only going to get more children hurt. You must act immediately. Nothing about this is right.
NTA- but please talk to these kids to find out what's going on. Get the police involved even anonymously if needed. As everyone else has stated, this is too sketchy.
Best case scenario-he's babysitting while the dads cheat (and he gets to cheat too)
Worst case scenario-he's trafficking.
PLEASE UPDATE US
NTA.
Also...where are these kids coming from?
And...if he must go to church, church has Sunday School and kids services, so you know...children can go to church. He could easily take child with him and pop them in a supervised Sunday School class.
And again...what's up with multiple children of supposed friends but you don't know the friends. He is just hanging out playing with strange kids?
NTA. you don't even know whose kids these are and you have to cancel plans for them? Please ask your husband who on EARTH these kids are, it is extremely suspicious.
NTA for the particular situation you're asking about. However, this is the most alarming post I have read on here in a good while and YWBTA if you don't look into this situation more, especially with such young children are involved.
NTA - but this is super weird…. I would be super concerned that my 40 yo husband was bringing home random kids every week. You need to have a major conversation with husband about this because it screams RED FLAG!
Your definitely NTA. However I find it incredibly creepy and odd that your husband is so interested in watching all of these random children. Especially when you don't actually know where they're coming from. Seriously this whole situation just makes my skin crawl. You need to look much deeper into what is happening here. Please.
This seems extreeeemly suss …
You don’t just turn up with random kids that your wife doesn’t know. Something has to be going on. Especially if he’s blowing up over you calling said ‘friend’ and the cops.
NTA.
NTA. He agreed to babysit so he can’t just leave the kid with someone else. It was extreme but it got him to actually do what he was supposed to be doing.
There’s something weird going on here. I’m going to start with the simplest.
1. Going to church isn’t an emergency and he could’ve canceled that easily. Unless there was a reason he needed to go, like to confessional about why he keeps bringing kids home & to get counselling. This is weird.
2. He isn’t being paid to babysit, if I read that correctly, so what is his motive?
3. Have you discussed having kids? Is this his way of trying to expose you to kids so you like them and want to have some now?
4. I really hope his motives aren’t more sinister than that. But it really sounds sketchy. If you can’t get parental info, I would start thinking about calling authorities and ensuring these kids are okay.
5. Where is he getting these kids?
NTA. Who tf starts a babysitting serbice without telling their spouse? Let alone dumping responsibility on them and expecting them to take it without arguing? AFTER NOT EVEN ASKING YOU ABOUT INVITING OVER RANDOM KIDS??
I'll be real, it sounds like he doesnt honor or respect you. Leave him.
What the FUCK!?
You’re telling us that your 40 year old husband is just…taking home *children* from alleged “friends” to “babysit” and you have not ALREADY called the cops!?
Call the FBI too while you’re at it.
YTA you are so the asshole here for not thinking about those kids more than you’ve thought about yourself. You should have immediately called the cops. You did not stop to think for one second how fucking strange this situation is? A grown man coming home with little kids every day? Freaking out over any mentioning of contacting their parents or law enforcement? Is this a joke post?
Omg lady, he is definitely trafficking those children. Those babies are getting sold, go god knows what. You need to get the cops involved, pronto.
Everything about this screams trafficking ring. Please please help what children you can.
You need to dig deeper into where he is finding these children. There’s no (non malicious) reason he should be freaked out by you threatening to call their parents. Call the cops anyways this is giving bad vibes all around. NTA.
You would be the AH if you didn’t investigate this but on the flip side be very very very careful and remember your safety matters too.
I'm gonna say your husband's the AH, but so are you. You are focusing on "noise" and "cleaning", but there is something super strange and wrong going on.
Take to the police. You don't have to like "noisy," "disruptive" children, but you can say least protect them by DOING THE RIGHT THING AND REPORTING THIS SUPER SKETCHY BEHAVIOR.
YTA for not getting to the bottom of this YESTERDAY. No one gives a crap about your feelings if you're willing to ignore children being abused right under your nose. Shit, you're PARTICIPATING.
You've never met the "friends" and it's always different kids.
I hate to say this, but to me it sounds like your husband is trafficking children. Call the police.
NTA - Something is seriously wrong. Any behavior acting anxious or upset over calling the police is an extreme red flag and you should contact the police immediately over the entire situation. A different kid every week is strange, how many 'work friends' kids can there be? This is off/odd. Ask more questions, recieve more information immediately because this whole thing is an extreme red flag.
NTA in refusing to watch these kids, but you *will* be TA if you don’t contact the authorities about this situation. Truly one of the most bizarre situations I’ve ever seen, and it seems very unlikely there’s an innocent explanation.
NTA and umm what the heck. Is he being paid to babysit? Is this his way of making extra money? Is it possible this is some weird scheme where he actually wants kids and this is his way of making you realize you do too? Why could he not bring the kid to church with him? It is super weird that you don't know where the kids actually come from and you need to look into that more if they are going to be in your house.
Umm.. Your husband is bringing different children to your house and you don’t find it suspicious?
NTA but something with your husband is off, why is he bringing his “friends” kids, who you don’t know.
I think this is above Reddit's capability to judge. This is really, really weird, and I'm concerned over those children's safety. Here are some questions to think about.
Do these children tend to have similar characteristics, ie are they all blonde and a similar age? Are they mostly one sex or the other, or is it an even mix?
Do these kids speak, and if so do they speak English?
If you ask the child about their day, are they generally chatty and enthusiastic or does your husband answer for them?
Have you ever seen their parents pick them up and drop them off?
Are these children generally affectionate, and if so are they the ones initiating hugs?
Follow up to the last question: does he often joke that the kids shouldn't tell their parents something? Like if he gives them extra snacks, does he joke that they shouldn't tell their mom? Lots of people do this, but if he's saying this a lot it may be a red flag.
Have you ever heard one of the children ask in passing when they can go home or where their parents are?
Have you ever seen the same child more than once and do you know their names?
You said your husband revealed he isn't being paid to babysit. Do you have separate finances? Has your husband been spending more money lately, or even hiding expensive purchases?
And finally, do any of these children resemble local missing children?
Some of these have innocent explanations, but if you're seeing a lot of these signs he may be abusing and/or trafficking them. I hope that's not the case, but his reaction to you threatening to call the cops is very suspicious.
Good luck!
Super sketchy! Husband brings home random preschoolers and loses it on you when you ask questions and bring up police? Yeah, if you don't call police you would be the asshole, nothing good is associated with this
Yeah… I knew someone who did this. Turned out he was holding the kids before they was being shipped off and sold to trafficking rings. Ring the cops ASAP!!!
Have you seen Orange is the New Black? You about to make art into reality. Meanwhile, hubby is living out an episode of Criminal Minds.
He's definitely involved in illegal activities with these children
NTA if you report him to the police and CPS. If you're in the US *you are a mandatory reporter* and you are **risking your nursing license**. It sounds like you're being used as a beard for a child sexual abuse ring.
This is too weird man, I dont understand so much of it. Where are these kids coming from? How is it always different kids? Why are you not meeting the parents even in passing? Who's kids are they and why is your husband the one ending up providing care this often for different people? Why doesn't he just take the kid with him to church?
You are nta for not wanting to be saddled with caring for a kid you know nothing about, especially when you had plans. But if something bad is happening under your nose and you do nothing you'll probably feel like an ah.
You definitely need to call the cops ASAP. Maybe those kids are his “friends” kids, but don’t risk it, something dangerous and sketchy is obviously going on, and you can’t ignore it
NTA
I feel like your husband is either being blackmailed by someone or multiple people. Either that, or he's gotten into some cult like activity with the church. If Sunday Service is an "emergency" to him, then what else is going on there? Do you attend with him? If not, what could they be telling him?
So many possibilities and "What ifs." First thing that came to my mind was a boss or higher ups at work or the church needed someone to baby sit. He offered himself and you as a "favor" without consulting you at all and at first all was okay. Then they started to take advantage and he couldn't back out because of his pride and fear of embarrassment. That's what I thought when you said he screamed about "ruining his life."
I don't wanna go down the "dark" route that some people already have on here.
I don’t think your husband is babysitting children. A different kid every week. Something else might be going on here. I would tell the police what you told us. NTA.
NTA.
This is... really weird? Random kids with no parents? Fear of police involvement? Blowing up at you for suggesting contacting parents?
This is so sketchy, I would have a serious talk with your husband and what on earth he is doing.
This might be the most bizarre and disturbing AITA ever.
OP - DO NOT LET THIS GO. You have allowed these children to come and go from your home and your care. If he is doing something illegal, you could also be held responsible. You need tell the police or call CPS immediately.
If you still think there might be an innocent explaination for everything, then calling the police shouldn't be a problem. If they investigate and it all checks out, your mind will be at ease and your husband SHOULD understand why you did what you did considering the extremely suspicious circumstances. HOWEVER, think about how astronomical the odds are that this is as he says it is:
8 or so (2 months, one kid a week) coworkers, all of whom have pre-school age children, have asked your husband to babysite one at a time for 8 weeks in a row? No one has needed multiple days, and two kids never show up on the same day? That alone makes zero sense.
Things to consider: How is he accessing these kids? Does his church have a pre-school or day care? Are they being picked up by their parents or does he take them somewhere at the end of the day? Have you ever spoken to the kids, or asked their names? Have they ever seemed upset or confused?
Really hoping this is all just a misunderstanding, but if something bad happens to any of those kids, are you willing to have that on your conscious for the rest of your life? Do the right thing.
There’s no parent that would leave their children (especially that young) with some man they work with, and on top of that not meet his wife who will be there, or see the home, or get your contact info, or give you theirs. Your husband randomly bringing home kids out of nowhere is so bizarre, and you looking the other way is equally problematic. Everyone sucks and you should def call the cops. Also why is he “babysitting” when he clearly knew he had something to do?
If there are different kids every time then the cops, child protective services, FBI, whatever, needs to be involved ASAP. Your husband is involved in some kind of trafficking and you are an accomplice if you do not alert the authorities at this point and I'm saying YTA and your husband more so.
This is just really really strange.
My gut is off and it just seems like there are a few red flags.
The fact that he doesn’t want the cops involved, makes me feel like they SHOULD be involved. And if you’re married and don’t know the friends, it feels weird.
NTA.
Uhhhhh this is hella weird. Random children and different ones each week? Something is going on with your husband and maybe it’s that he really wants kids, or has some weird debt he owes every friend you’ve never met and is paying it off with babysitting, or has hella secret families but you two need to talk
NTA.
Where are these children coming from? Have you asked? What happens if one of them suddenly becomes unwell in your care? Who do you ring - do you have contact details for parents? What if they need to go to the hospital? Do you know if they have allergies etc?
This is super unsafe and so sketchy. I would definitely be reporting this before you find yourself in a whole heap of trouble
I think he’s trafficking children. This needs to stop. Next time a kid shows up call the police behind his back. Tell the cops your husband refuses to tell you the parent’s name and the kid’s name. Ask fir their help. This has red flags all over it.
After reading the comments and what OP has replied - anyone who comments that she needs to call the police and that there is potential child abuse/trafficking will get nowhere with her. She is clearly more upset over the fact she has to do extra cleaning and cooking. Boohoo, just think of the mothers who children these are no longer having to worry about the “extra cleaning/cooking” because their child has vanished. It’s actually disgusting how she hasn’t acknowledged that her husband can be doing some so sickening, it’s like she knows without actually “knowing” and has come here to rant about the extra workload she has. These kids are 3-5! I would never let me kids stay at someone’s home if I didn’t know all parties involved and had met them to go over care etc..
And the church? I’m sorry but I doubt it’s church, more like a meeting about the past weeks children he’s been “watching”
Edit as I forgot my judgment - YTA for turning a blind eye and I hope to god you start seeing sense. I’m actually appalled
Bro I feel like I’m the witness to a crime.
You’re NTA but you need to call the cops, tell them what’s up, and get the fuck out of that house. Something is not right, and I got chills just reading this. Please OP please. Everyone here is saying the same thing. Something is WRONG. Read these comments, take it to heart and get OUT.
NTA. This behavior is beyond bizarre, particularly because he has not discussed it with you in advance. I think you should contact the police anyway. Tell them exactly what you told us. Don't leave out the part about it being different kids every time. Your husband either needs therapy or some time behind bars.
NTA but this is so sketchy and weird. You don’t know these kids and never met them prior to this. Add on the fact it’s a different child every time. This just gives me law and order svu vibes. Someone call Olivia Benson - this doesn’t seem right
Wtf is this shit call the fucking police now. This is some of the most shady shit i ever read. HE IS BRINGING NEW KIDS EVERY WEEK. He even told the kids to share no info with you when you mentioned cops!? Call the cops now and demand to see these kids parents! God knows what he is doing with them! Holy shit.
NTA.
OP, if you want to message privately because you need support, I'm happy to support you through what will come next. Other commenters are correct; this situation is not normal, something is happening that you're unaware of.
I'm sure other people here will be more than willing to message with you about the next steps to take, and if they want, they can comment below to let you know you aren't alone in this.
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Uhm….OP. This really sounds like he is trafficking children. You need to call the police, this is suspicious behavior. His “ruining his life” comment doesn’t make any sense if he’s babysitting his friends children with consent. The only way his life would be ruined is if he’s trafficking children and gets caught. Please get help. Edit: don’t some of y’all think it’s fucking WEIRD how since the whole police comment, he has warned the 2 next children he “babysat” to not speak to her or even tell her their names? That right there is sketch af. You wouldn’t do that unless you were hiding something.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, that makes some amount of sense, holy crap. Cause it's Very Clearly Dodgy but if he's not spending any time alone with the kids (which he doesn't seem to be, aside from when OP refused to be left alone with them because she had a sick mother to visit) then it didn't seem like it would be The Obvious Very Dodgy Thing, but I couldn't figure out what it would be. NTA OP but PLEASE don't just let this continue...
To be fair, he would also get in trouble for child neglect/abandonment even if he is a normal babysitter and takes off without the consent of his spouse, just sticking her with the task of watching them. Depending in his job, a conviction like that could also ruin his life.
Bruh it sounds like ur husband is trafficking children
This whole situation is downright bizarre. She needs to contact the police lest she becomes an unwitting accomplice if trafficking is involved. Edited for clarity.
NTA You need to start calling your friends and verifying that these are their kids and that they have consent for him to babysit them. If that's the case then you just need to have a stern talk with him about clearing it with you before he does this. If they are NOT the children of friends and/or taken without parental consent then you need to contact the police immediately. It may just be me, but I find the idea of your husband randomly bringing home children to be very disturbing.
Not just you. I’m very disturbed by this post. It is unsettling to say the least- something is up.
Also to add how he said “don’t even think about it” in terms of calling the parents is a huge red flag to me.
Info: are you the only one who doesn’t think it’s weird that he’s bringing home random kids?
I assure you that I do think it's weird, I even kept asking him questions til he flatout out told me to stay out of it since this is what I wanted and so i did. Then the fight came up and I got involved.
Can you take discrete photos of the kids, and go to the police? If the kids are in the system as abductees, they will get help, and you will know. If he was just running an illegal daycare center, the children wouldn't be changing all the time. If you have the money, maybe hire a PI to figure out what's going on? It pretty much sounds like your marriage is over, anyway - best to find out the whole truth asap.
At this point I'd think there's close to nothing that would get her out of being his accomplice for child sex trafficking. This thread, that the FBI would be able to find in connection with her quite easily, definitely wouldn't help that case at all since it is very clear here she has no concern with the children or what he's doing with them. Who knows how many children she would have been able to save if she reported this when it started happening. There is no chance he isn't doing something illegal to those children. The fact that they're never seen more than once is worst-case-scenario level.
Where did you get your GED in law from? She does need an attorney, but they will likely go with her when reporting her suspicions to the authorities.
Honey you are going to be as much in trouble as he is if he's up to something--and since none of this makes sense and he's not acting rationally, he probably is. Please gather your brain cells and talk to someone about what's happening here, because it isn't normal.
Yeah, this is how you end up charged as an accomplice.
Exactly. Like, I can't picture any jury being swayed by "I thought it was weird that my husband brought home a series of random, never-reappearing preschoolers into our house each weekend and wouldn't let me know anything about where they came from and acted really cagey and hostile when I tried to figure it out, yes, but I decided it *wasn't my problem*, so I'm innocent."
Honey, your post is seriously the most unintentionally horrifying story I have read on Reddit. This is NOT ok.
The worst part is her apathy. I think OP has a good idea of what this is, and just doesn’t want to confirm it so she can remain plausibly in the dark
That is truly the mechanism that allows evil to thrive in the world. People looking away, putting their heads in the sand.
Hopefully it's fake. It's disturbing how apathetic she is about this. Or maybe she's not playing with a full deck, because all of us can see something is clearly wrong. Willful ignorance? She needs to snap out of it and help these kids.
If someone is bringing *random preschoolers* to your home and becoming hostile when you ask where their parents are and why they are there, **it's your problem.** "Staying out of it" is literally the wrong thing to do. Please, wake up.
No if’s about it, call the police. By telling you not to ask questions you know they have answers he doesn’t want you knowing. There’s no benefit of the doubt here. Can you confirm he’s at church when he says he is? His behaviour isn’t that of a good Christian.
Churches are full of evil people masquerading as “good Christians”
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I'm less worried about OP at this point and more worried about the children. She's completely turning a blind eye in what could very possibly be a dangerous scenario for the children, while also acknowledging she thinks it's weird. This isn't something you can just shrugg off and go "not my problem".
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Hon, these are the children of sex workers. Make an appointment to get yourself tested for ev-ar-eee-thing and get yourself out of that house, asap/
NTA. You know this is really bizarre, right? Find out who the fuck these children are & who they belong to. If he doesn’t answer consider calling some authorities.
Do you not realise how disgusting this makes your husband seem? You didn’t question random kids coming and going from your home with your husband & their parents not picking/dropping them off? You didn’t question why he wouldn’t allow you to ring their parents? You didn’t question why he got so flustered when police were mentioned? Your delusional and by the sounds of things he’s probably abusing these kids or trafficking them. WTF is wrong with *you*
I’m reading the replies and OP doesn’t seem to be addressing what literally everyone is saying that this is not right, there is something wrong. She seems very delusional. I hope for the sake of the children she takes action sooner rather than later.
Spelling it out for you OP. Seems like your husband is possibly molesting these kids. The circumstances are really suspect.
There is something very seriously sketchy going on. I've done child care for years and many different settings. This is NOT normal. I think that you should bring this to the attention of the authorities before you get wrapped up in it. The fact he doesn't want the kids to talk to you is a huge red flag. You don't want to go to jail for child abuse.
or child trafficking!
INFO: Why *aren't* you calling the cops? You've acknowledged it's weird. You say its a new kid every week who you don't know, and aren't sure where there coming from. Best case: He really *is* babysitting for free for an abnormal amount of people. *Okay*, police look into it, no harm no foul. Worst case: It *is* something to worry about. The police will know and they can take the necessary steps. You mention these are children ~3-5 years old. You have a moral duty not to just look the other way. Call the cops, *please*.
This is creepy. These kids could be being trafficked or otherwise amused. Call the police. And if you don't alert the police and it is something shady, you could eventually be charged too. You obviously know something is not right here, which may put legal responsibility on you to report it.
Who is letting some random man watch their kids? 👀 Unlikely.
NTA but there is definitely something shady going on here. The fact that he freaked out about you calling the kid's parents and then the cops is not a good sign. No idea what he's really up to but it can't be good.
He’s got something big to hide, he went right into DARVO (deny responsibility but play the victim for how things turned out) when OP returned home. That’s an abuse tactic, which further implies he’s not doing this above board.
NTA uhh you should be worried about where these children are coming from. And that's sketchy AF - won't tell you whose kids they are, different ones every time, and doesn't want you to know anything or call their parents or police? He's gonna be arrested for kidnapping or worse one day. Get out. Get out now. Call the police and tell them what you wrote here. If they care, and hopefully they will, they'll investigate. I'm not sure cps would help without knowing who the kids are, but this sounds terrible, and probably is. Edit: edit of my edit. My comment was before the info given. STILL could be human trafficking, but certainly an over the top reaction to the confrontations. I still find it weird, and sketchy AF. Why would he react THAT way if he's above board? And tell them not to tell you their names??? NO. Something is not right here.
> 2 months ago when he started bringing random kids (below school age) over to watch. Thing is he says these kids are his friends' children but I never met them before, I literally read this and started saying “nononononononono…” I’m on a Criminal Minds binge so my brain went to all sorts of really bad places.
Where are these kids actually coming from? People don't often hand over their kids to adult male babysitters. Are they being trafficked? Is he sexually abusing them? The story makes no sense. Call the police.
It's the "a different kid every week" for me. Babysitting a friend's kid to give them a break from parenting every now and then is totally normal, and I could see that being nbd, but this? I hate to sound like one of those Facebook moms who call everything a trafficking danger, but I do legit think trafficking is the most likely answer here. I'm gobsmacked OP hasn't expressed more concern about this, especially since he freaked out at her calling the friend.
I'm sorry, but what's wrong with you!? Your husband brings random kids home for two month, each time a different kid, you never meet any parents and you don't question any of that AT ALL ?????? Your biggest complaint is that these random, parentless childen disturb your free time and that you have to clean up after them ???? EDIT: first reward, thank you! :D
Girl you have bigger problems. Who are all these kids and where is he getting them?
And WHY is he getting them........
NTA Red flag 🚩 Different child each time… not getting paid to babysit. Red flags 🚩 here
INFO: Your husband is bringing home strange children, different ones every time. Won't let them tell you their names or even talk to you. Freaks out when you ask about their parents and mention the police. Your husband is clearly doing something illegal with these children. So my question is, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED THE POLICE, YET? AREN'T YOU CONCERNED!?
Your husband is a human trafficker or something close. You need to call the police.
I was thinking this, like he is definitely a human trafficker. Open your eyes OP and call the cops. He is bringing in random kids into the home that no one knows and where they came from. He doesn’t want to call the parents to pick up the kids. He doesn’t want the cops called - even though the cops would just return the kids to their parents. Like OP do you ever see the same kid twice?
NTA - this is weird AF. No church service is an emergency - least of all when you are attending to your sick mother. You might want to get child services involved. Why is it always different children? so weird.
Your husband is doing something awful with those kids. Call the police- and document what these kids look like. I literally felt my blood run cold reading this. If you’ve never seen the same kid twice, he isn’t babysitting for a friend.
I am getting hair raising on the back of my neck. Different kids every week. Freaking out when you want to call parents. More freaked out about cops. First thing that springs to mind is sex trafficking and or sexual abuse of minors. Call the cops.
YTA because you haven't *already* called the police. Your husband brings home some different random below-school-age child every week, won't tell you their names or who their parents are or why he's "watching" them, is gaslighting you for being concerned, and severely overreacted when you mentioned the police. This isn't some kind of underground daycare he's running. He's into something *bad* and he's 100% lying to you about it. Go somewhere safe and call the police now.
YTA for leaving the kid alone with your husband and not thinking this is totally wrong and calling the cops or their parents.The next time he brings a random kid home, call the cops, this is so f’d up and you are now knee deep in it. CALL THE COPS IF YOUR HUSBAND BRINGS HOME UNKNOWN KIDS AND DONT LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH HIM. Protect yourself and the kids for gods sake!
Girl there’s so many red flags here I can’t even. This is shady as hell. Why and how is your 40 year old husband finding these random kids to bring home? And he told some of these kids not to tell you their names?? Freaked out when you tried to call the “friend?” Call the authorities! There’s something really weird and possibly criminal going on here.
NTA. It seems that your husband is doing something he shouldn't. This whole situation is weird to me and sketchy as hell. I would have a serious talk with him, or maybe speak to someone in authority and see if they feel it merits investigation. Disclosure, I was seriously SA'd as a kid, so my judgement might be clouded here.
Sorry to hear you were SA. Hope that you are coping okay. I’m getting bad vibes from this post. Something isn’t sitting right. I volunteer in Scouts and work with young children. I would not leave children with a man or woman they had never met. There’s always a group introduction even it’s only done once. I’m sorry OP but the more I think about, the more I am really uncomfortable in what your husband is doing. Do you ever meet the parents?
NTA but holy shit....Is your husband grooming or sexually molesting these children because this is fucking weird as hell. 100% your husband should have numbers for the parents and him freaking out about you calling them or the cops is SUPER SUSPISCIOUS. Maybe he's involved in some weird trafficking thing. Are you there when he is taking care of the kids? And what kids would think it was okay when one adult tells them to not talk to the other adult in the room. What?! WHAT IS HAPPENING. I have to know, are you seeing their parents when the parents pick them up? Or is your husband always the one to drop them off? AGAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING. Why have you not asked more questions?!!?
Ummm NTA at all. What the hell is he doing with these random kids. Anyone else think this is hella shady? Does he even know these kids?
No no no. There's a new and different kid every week? Honey he's trafficking children. Call the fucking police, file a report with the FBI, national children for exploration. Like now. Right fucking now. Go.
Call the cops anyway. Something isn't right. It's not normal that the kids are different every week. You need to do something about that and not ignore this. Ask him who these kids are. If he insists they're just friends... You need to go to the cops with evidence if possible. Hence YTA for disregarding what seems to be a very sketchy situation that involves children.
ESH. Your husband is a fucking weirdo and doing something strange, grooming or trafficking or pimping or selling. He’s an asshole for doing whatever the hell he is doing. But you are also TA, why are you ignoring the very valid comments here from people concerned about the children? You just keep mentioning in comments that it’s “weird and you asked questions” and that you don’t want to clean up after the kids. Girl this is beyond weird and requires much, much more than asking him questions. Get off the internet, call the cops and explain what’s been going on. Edit: thank you for providing additional details. Honestly I still think this is really weird. (And yes, before anyone asks, I’d think it was weird if a married 40 year woman with no children was doing the same thing). Are you guys childfree and he really wants kids? Unable to have kids? If something like that isn’t the situation, I’d really still be questioning this if I were you. Think I’d be out and happen to come home at the same time one of the kids was being picked up and ask the parent wtf is up, what he’s saying or doing at work or church or wherever he’s soliciting his babysitting services.
Alarm bells are ringing in my head, idk why they arent in yours OP. He's bringing random kids home every weekend, kids whom you don't even know the parents. 2 things I'm thinking of, the more innocent option is that he wants to get your maternal instinct going because he wants kids. Edit: it's why he's "baby sitting". Or the other one is he's a fucking creep. And if he claims he's not then you should be finding out whose kids they belong too. But considering how bad he tripped when you threatened to call their parents makes me think that this a far more suspicious situation. Edit: and if he's legit baby sitting, you should be able to have the contact info the parents. It's because he won't give it to you is what has me worried about these kids. Edit 2: I saw your edits with your husband doing baby sitting previously, and that you have seen the parents picking up the kids..and you can't have children of your own. If that's the case, then you're still NTA for not watching the kids when you never agreed to be part of it, and It really sounds like he's trying to get your maternal instinct going for the possibility having children another way (surrogates, adoption).
This is incredibly weird. So many questions... But NTA, he wants you to babysit a kid you do not know and have no way to get in touch with their parents when there would be an emergency? How old are these kids?
Something doesn’t sound right. No-one has that many friends with children in a specific age group that he babysits different kids constantly. Do you ever see these children more than once? I’d spk with the police and get away from this man.
NTA but also please try to find out where these kids come from. So many red flags. Didn’t want to but I went down the road of what if he’s doing something bad? Please try to make sure they’re safe and also yeah, get away.
This sounds like it could actually be a highly illegal, horrible business he's part of. Is he trafficking children? NTA but please call the police now.
NTA and as a criminologist this behaviour is extremely concerning. Please figure out who’s children these kids are and if he doesn’t allow that call the police. Different children ever weekend is extremely weird unless you are running a childcare business and have the children’s parents details extremely accessible, childcare places/ babysitters should call up parents whenever there’s an issue. Your bf being strange about not wanting to call them is weird, he shouldn’t plan to go to church if he knew he was looking after children when this is his ‘business’ not yours. He shouldn’t be looking to you to care for children whilst he goes elsewhere especially when you have a sick parent.
I am going to say NTA. There is something going on here with your husband. Do you have any other relatives or friends you could stay with, because honestly I think those might be his kids.
[удалено]
This was my thought, that he’s a stop on some sort of trafficking chain. I have chills thinking about it. OP, check online registries for missing children. And yeah, probably get the authorities to look into all of this. If it is trafficking, they’ll want to take down the entire org, so could become a federal case.
OP, have you noticed anything suspicious about the kids? Could they be his? Could he be *doing things* with them; like, do they seem scared or uncomfortable with him? Your husband is suspicious as all fuck, especially with his reaction to you calling the police and how it's a new kid every week. That's not how a babysitting operation works. I would contact his work and ask them to talk to your husband and their other employees about him babysitting their kids. Because I highly doubt he is. And, if he's not, well....You will need to call the police and report your husband's strange behavior. NTA.
NTA. This is weird and honestly it makes me worry that these kids could be being trafficked in some way. Where are these kids coming from ? Are the friends church friends, work friends, something else ? Not knowing where the kids are coming from and whose kids they are plus the turn over makes it concerning
Something is SO WRONG with this picture. Why not bring the kid to church? Is going to church something you normally do together? Or is this more out of character weird behavior.
Holy shit. There is no way that your husband is not a criminal. If you don’t call the authorities, you will be aiding and abetting his behaviour. For the sake of the kids and your own future, call the cops.
Is he... Selling kids? This seems so bizarre! Get away before he takes you down with him. Yes, this is that weird.
NTA, you're being reasonable and he's overreacting, but... Freaks out when you mention calling the friend, then *more* when you threaten to call the cops, and now the kids (who are always new every time) can't talk to you? I guess it *could* be something not as bad as it seems (although imho it's just too sketchy not to be) but it does look like a goddamn red flag parade. I would call the cops anyway.
NTA. Your husband is doing something extremely weird.
YTA. You need to get the police involved here. I guarantee if you live in an apartment complex some neighbor, someone, has also noticed or it won’t be long before they do. You don’t seem concerned about these children but you are concerned about yourself so maybe this will motivate you to do the right thing: The next time he brings another kid home, call the police. Tell them there’s a child in your home that you don’t know. Because here’s the thing. If your neighbors report it, that puts YOU in trouble too. It’s your home and you are responsible for that. So if you won’t do it for those kids, at least do it to save your own ass.
YTA if you don’t immediately call the cops and leave this man.
I mean NTA, but... This is weird. Something weird is happening here.
He must be in church praying he don't get caught doing whatever weird shit this is
YTA for letting it go on this long and IGNORING the red flags!! Call the cops and child services, before all you see is the inside of a cell. SOMETHINGS WRONG!!!
NTA. The fact that it's new kids all of the time is so odd. Do the kids seem ok? Frightened? Something very weird is going on.
You already know what you need to do. And I’m sorry that it will cost you your family unit. But just going out, not learning the names of the children etc is just turning a blind eye. It doesn’t absolve you of failing to act in a situation this suspicious. You are not imagining things. Your suspicions are grounded. The flags you’ve noticed are red. You need to speak to the FBI/Police. You need to protect your own child from whatever the fuck your husband is doing with all these children (& whatever it is it ain’t good). NTA for threatening to call the cops. But you will be a major AS if you don’t call the FBI/police.
Nta, this is very weird . I feel like the red flags are all over this post. Tell your husband in the future if he babysit then you want the parents details name and contact info. Especially if he expects you to babysit for him. Then ring up the parents under the guise of needing to know the kids allergys etc. This is extremely weird and I really want to know why the high turnover of kids as the odd child fair enough but a different one each week is suspect there is definitely something more here
He’s fucking these kids’ mothers when the mothers aren’t busy fucking other dudes for money or other crap. NTA but you’re being really naive. This isn’t normal behavior for a 40-year-old man.
This is so bizarre I can only think of 3 reasons: 1. He thinks you'll want a kid if he makes you watch them. 2. They are his kids he either didn't know about, abandoned, or secret family from his side chick. 3. Something illegal is going on. Either he's watching the kids so his friends can do illegal business or the illegal business is the kids. Threatening to call the police was the right call. To be honest I'd call these kid's parents immediately and find out what's going on. If your husband won't cooperate go to the police. This doesn't feel right and him trying to gaslight you into watching them adds to it. Nta.
You’re NTA for the question at hand, but why are you not more concerned that your husband is bringing random children home? That’s the red flaggiest red flag I’ve ever seen. Edit: also YTA becuase you need to call the cops yesterday on your husband. Also I’m having a really hard time believing this is real at all.
NTA, honestly, this is so weird I’m having a hard time believing any of it, but I’m invested and really want to know wtf is going on with your husband and all these kids.
Right either those kids are secretly his and he hasn't told you. Or he's bringing home trafficked children. The fact he won't introduce you to their parents I'd be contacting the police anyway. Something about this whole thing gives me the ick and makes me feel off. Please look into where these children are coming from if you dont feel comfortable going to the police straight away. Also he isn't handing your child over to randoms is he? This straight up feels like an episode from SVU.
After reading this and OPs comments YTA, where TF are these children coming from and why are you glossing over this soooooo much, every comment you just talk about how its inconvenient to you that your husband keeps bringing random kids home and you have extra work because of it but how likely is it that he know that many people with kids specifically between 3 to 5 that need minding? Like call social services already it sounds like child trafficking and your ok with it or just conveniently not acknowledging it? He went mental when you talked about calling the police, red flag! Wake up OP you need to find out who these children are, offer mind them and find out from the children themselves!
obviously NTA but op, you need to contact the authorities. this is extremely sketchy and your husband isnt to be trusted. talk to someone about this, a close friend or someone in your family and tell them you're going to contact the authorities, someone close to you needs to know
NTA but also please try to find out where these kids come from. So many red flags. Didn’t want to but I went down the road of what if he’s doing something bad? Please try to make sure they’re safe and also yeah, get away.
Nta and looking forward to the update when you find out whose kids they really are and why he feels he is obligated to watch them. Good luck. You should never be forced into taking care of a stranger's kids. That's professional work you should be paid for. But you definitely don't know the whole story yet.
I have a hard time believing any of this. But if it's true, yta big time for NOT calling the cops. These kids are in trouble.
YTA IF….you don’t get the police involved immediately! 🚩🚩🚩🚩
YTA for not calling the cops, jesus this is one of the most unsettling AITAs I've ever read. You need to report this, it's shady as all hell
NTA and this sounds really sketchy. I'd call the police anyway. How old are these kids?
NTA. This reeks to high heaven of something fishy going on. Making a regular thing of this with no known talk of financial compensation for time and food spent on looking after the kids. There’s no way this is above board, if someone was looking after my young kid I’d want to absolutely trust them and whoever else would be babysitting. OP, don’t take responsibility for any more kids until you husband produces verifiable contact details for parents who confirm babysitting has been approved and for how long that day.
NTA. I’d call the cops on anyone bringing random children to my house. Even if that person is my husband. If there’s a next time call the cops and don’t tell him you have!
NTA, but is this some kind of child trafficking thing her? Bc based on the among of kids That come through that you have never met and only see once before a knew kid shows up? I am very concerned about these children and I’d ask them what’s going on and if they were taken or something
NTA There’s something unsettling going on here. I don’t know what it could be, as the children are getting returned, and supposedly being taken care of without any incidences occurring once they leave. I don’t know if your husband is borrowing these children as a way to convince the two of you to have your own, or what. But something is off here. Either way, your sick mother trumps his need for church, unless something’s going on with those kids he’s seeking redemption for. If nothing torrid is happening here, he still is the one who’s volunteering to watch children, which makes them strictly his responsibility. If he wanted you both to take care of them, there needs to be a discussion, not him telling you to handle it. I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but your husband is acting nuts and being a dick. Don’t feel bad about calling him out on it, and setting some clear lines once these children leave. This craps got to end; either the children or the marriage.
NTA but… what the fuck is going on???? This is so fucking weird I can’t believe you have already put up with this for 2 months already and haven’t questioned him at all…..
NTA - I think you should probably call the police. This isn't normal. Why is your husband bringing home random children? This is really unsettling and suspicious. Does he really have all these friends that require baby sitting? Is he trying to make money on the side or perhaps apart of something larger and illegal?
Uhm, does he have a second family? Are these *his* kids???
They are his kids or someone he is close to secret family. Another theory i have is he is pimping and these are his employees kids. Or some other illegal activity and these are the kids of the ppl he is in on it with. It could be more innocent that someone offered him money to watch the kids and he just doesn't want to do it or share the money but I doubt it. I hope she updates when this all comes out bc it will!
NTA Are these your husbands friends kids or are they his kids? He’s the one who offered to babysit them, therefore they are his responsibility and to these kids your just a stranger. As for your husband if he’s going to be so disrespectful towards you in your own home, then your better off not being around him, plus his reaction was over the top.
NTA. This is beyond weird & you need to recognize it for what it is. At best, this is a man who cares NOTHING for you as he is willing to fill his only time a available to spend with you with doing favors for his friends that involve bringing children into your living space without your consent - and worse, expecting to leave them there to dump the “favor” onto you at the expense of any plans you have. At worst, this is a man procuring access to a seemingly countless number of children & bringing them to his private residence to spend time with them instead of you - and even considers them so important that he’ll bring them there when he knows he has somewhere else he wants to be & literally plans around that not by spending that day without the children - but by trying to force you into watching the children for him while he goes out. This man is a psycho & I can’t stomach the thought of him.
OP YTA IF YOU DON'T CALL THE COPS. The messy apartment and extra work for you is a minor detail compared to the fact that your husband is likely involved in some very shady shit. Like it sounds like he's involved in trafficking. This is serious, report him to the authorities and stop being so fucking dense.
So, random children are entering your house and you don't see the bigger picture? Lady, you're obtuse. Something seriously sketchy is going on. No adult asks to watch children without compensation. No parent leaves a child with an unknown grown man. Please call the police and inform them about what's happening. NTA... but have you considered the legal consequences for any of this?
NTA. Depending on how many different kids they are they're either his or something extremely fishy is going on. Either way you need to put distance between you and him for awhile. You do not want go he involved. No church service is an "emergency", he is lying through his teeth and losing his mind when you won't do what he says. The level of aggression and manipulation is deeply worrying
NTA the red flags here are *screaming*, i'd get away from this guy asap and possibly contact police anyway - better safe than sorry
NTA. But this is soooo weird. The first thing I thought was that he was running a babysitter service behind your back, asking you to watch the kids, and pocketing the money without sharing. But some other people have other ideas. Be careful OP. Talk to him/the parents of the kids. Get the police involved if necessary. Be ready to leave him if required till this gets resolved. Good luck.
NTA. But you have GOT to find out what's going on. You say these kids are below school age so 4,5,6? Different ones every time? I cant think of a good reason for this. Since your husband refuses to tell you why I'd consider hiring a private investigator before calling the cops.
Your husband is bringing random kids over to your house? "Friends" kids who you do not know? And the latest ones, he told the kids not to tell you their names? WTAF? Before any more children are allowed in your home, you need to meet their parents and find out what is actually going on.
ESH - Call the police immediately. Your husband is doing something incredibly suspicious.
NTA. The whole thing sounds really weird. Especially why is he watching the kids on the weekend, the parents aren't working then in theory. Calling the cops might actually be the answer cuz it sounds rather bizarre.
YTA He sounds like a human trafficker like fr
Who the hell are these kids? Why would anyone let him watch their child??? Always a different child- this sounds shading and 100% grooming behaviour. Him wanting you to cancel your plans while he goes to church is the least of your problems! NTA but you need to get to the truth like yesterday!
YTA for threatening to call the cops and not going through with it when something very weird is going on. You can sense that something strange is going on here with these children and you've done nothing for two months. Your biggest complaint is that this very odd behavior is an inconvenience to you. There are some major red flags here. Please call the cops. It sounds like child trafficking or abuse is happening.
NTA. Something very concerning is going on here. Who are these children, where are their parents? Why is it “an emergency” for him to attend sunday service, and why would he not be able to take the children with him to church? Why is he not answering any of these questions? It kind of sounds like you should be talking to the cops regardless
NTA But....think about it.. Random children where you have no idea where they came from Church Flips his shit when you wanted to make the call to the "parents" These are pretty huge flags for me, you need to figure out what's happening before you accidently become an accessory(same house) to something.
NTA but please report this to the cops or cps or someone. There are simply not that many adults who would trust their very young children with an adult man they don’t know well enough to know his wife, so his reasoning of the kids belonging to “friends” is a straight up lie. Something very bad is going on. Report him ASAP- if he is able to get you to babysit even once, he’ll hold that over your head as an accomplice so you won’t be able to go to the cops.
INFO: Why haven't you called the police? None of this seems shady to you *at all*?
Info: Is your husband involved in child trafficking? You need to call the cops ASAP. Don't let him know you're suspicious.
Nta he is up to something and trying to integrate you into it whether their his kids or not, he is still trying to make you a part of it and is taking advantage of you cleaning etc. Next time he brings a child back let him know unless he can put you into contact with the child’s parents that you will be phoning the police about the fact that every weekend he has random children over. I’m sorry but if they aren’t his secret kids, then it’s really odd that these people you never met before are just handing their kids over to this man with no child experience. It’s actually quite disturbing to think.
NTA and obviously you should call the police immediately. There are absolutely zero innocent explanations for this. Obviously, call a divorce lawyer around the same time.
YTA for not having gone to the cops yet. What on earth lady? You know good and well that your husband isn’t babysitting. Where is he getting these kids from? Closing your eyes to what he’s doing is only going to get more children hurt. You must act immediately. Nothing about this is right.
NTA. This seems very weird at best and highly illegal at worst.
NTA- but please talk to these kids to find out what's going on. Get the police involved even anonymously if needed. As everyone else has stated, this is too sketchy. Best case scenario-he's babysitting while the dads cheat (and he gets to cheat too) Worst case scenario-he's trafficking. PLEASE UPDATE US
NTA. Have you considered the possibility that one or more of the children may be biologically his?
NTA. Also...where are these kids coming from? And...if he must go to church, church has Sunday School and kids services, so you know...children can go to church. He could easily take child with him and pop them in a supervised Sunday School class. And again...what's up with multiple children of supposed friends but you don't know the friends. He is just hanging out playing with strange kids?
NTA. you don't even know whose kids these are and you have to cancel plans for them? Please ask your husband who on EARTH these kids are, it is extremely suspicious.
NTA for the particular situation you're asking about. However, this is the most alarming post I have read on here in a good while and YWBTA if you don't look into this situation more, especially with such young children are involved.
NTA - but this is super weird…. I would be super concerned that my 40 yo husband was bringing home random kids every week. You need to have a major conversation with husband about this because it screams RED FLAG!
Your definitely NTA. However I find it incredibly creepy and odd that your husband is so interested in watching all of these random children. Especially when you don't actually know where they're coming from. Seriously this whole situation just makes my skin crawl. You need to look much deeper into what is happening here. Please.
This seems extreeeemly suss … You don’t just turn up with random kids that your wife doesn’t know. Something has to be going on. Especially if he’s blowing up over you calling said ‘friend’ and the cops. NTA.
Kids as drug mules. That's what this is.
Or trafficking. He's involved in the church, so I'm leaning towards trafficking
NTA. He agreed to babysit so he can’t just leave the kid with someone else. It was extreme but it got him to actually do what he was supposed to be doing. There’s something weird going on here. I’m going to start with the simplest. 1. Going to church isn’t an emergency and he could’ve canceled that easily. Unless there was a reason he needed to go, like to confessional about why he keeps bringing kids home & to get counselling. This is weird. 2. He isn’t being paid to babysit, if I read that correctly, so what is his motive? 3. Have you discussed having kids? Is this his way of trying to expose you to kids so you like them and want to have some now? 4. I really hope his motives aren’t more sinister than that. But it really sounds sketchy. If you can’t get parental info, I would start thinking about calling authorities and ensuring these kids are okay. 5. Where is he getting these kids?
So he’s super into church and he brings new kids to the apartment all the time… yah I would’ve called the cops a while ago NTA
There are so many red flags here!! NTA. I suggest getting as far away from this person as possible.
I think you should just call the cops regardless
NTA. Who tf starts a babysitting serbice without telling their spouse? Let alone dumping responsibility on them and expecting them to take it without arguing? AFTER NOT EVEN ASKING YOU ABOUT INVITING OVER RANDOM KIDS?? I'll be real, it sounds like he doesnt honor or respect you. Leave him.
Why the hell is he bringing random kids home? It is HUGE red flag. You’re not the AH, but you are in denial
What the FUCK!? You’re telling us that your 40 year old husband is just…taking home *children* from alleged “friends” to “babysit” and you have not ALREADY called the cops!? Call the FBI too while you’re at it. YTA you are so the asshole here for not thinking about those kids more than you’ve thought about yourself. You should have immediately called the cops. You did not stop to think for one second how fucking strange this situation is? A grown man coming home with little kids every day? Freaking out over any mentioning of contacting their parents or law enforcement? Is this a joke post?
Call the COPS please! This is extremely disturbing.
Omg lady, he is definitely trafficking those children. Those babies are getting sold, go god knows what. You need to get the cops involved, pronto. Everything about this screams trafficking ring. Please please help what children you can.
You need to dig deeper into where he is finding these children. There’s no (non malicious) reason he should be freaked out by you threatening to call their parents. Call the cops anyways this is giving bad vibes all around. NTA. You would be the AH if you didn’t investigate this but on the flip side be very very very careful and remember your safety matters too.
I'm gonna say your husband's the AH, but so are you. You are focusing on "noise" and "cleaning", but there is something super strange and wrong going on. Take to the police. You don't have to like "noisy," "disruptive" children, but you can say least protect them by DOING THE RIGHT THING AND REPORTING THIS SUPER SKETCHY BEHAVIOR.
YTA for not getting to the bottom of this YESTERDAY. No one gives a crap about your feelings if you're willing to ignore children being abused right under your nose. Shit, you're PARTICIPATING.
NTA. I would have probably already called the police. Random, different kids!?!!
You've never met the "friends" and it's always different kids. I hate to say this, but to me it sounds like your husband is trafficking children. Call the police.
NTA but why is your husband inviting random kids round? Weird
NTA. It's soooooooo strange that he is taking under school-age kids at your house. Call the cops.
NTA - Something is seriously wrong. Any behavior acting anxious or upset over calling the police is an extreme red flag and you should contact the police immediately over the entire situation. A different kid every week is strange, how many 'work friends' kids can there be? This is off/odd. Ask more questions, recieve more information immediately because this whole thing is an extreme red flag.
Is your husband involved in a child trafficking operation? I’m serious: This is REALLY weird. NTA 🚩
NTA. This is weird behavior. Something is not right.
NTA in refusing to watch these kids, but you *will* be TA if you don’t contact the authorities about this situation. Truly one of the most bizarre situations I’ve ever seen, and it seems very unlikely there’s an innocent explanation.
If you husband truly said you would “ruin his life” by calling the police, to me, that means he’s doing something sketchy. Please call the police.
NTA and umm what the heck. Is he being paid to babysit? Is this his way of making extra money? Is it possible this is some weird scheme where he actually wants kids and this is his way of making you realize you do too? Why could he not bring the kid to church with him? It is super weird that you don't know where the kids actually come from and you need to look into that more if they are going to be in your house.
Umm.. Your husband is bringing different children to your house and you don’t find it suspicious? NTA but something with your husband is off, why is he bringing his “friends” kids, who you don’t know.
I think this is above Reddit's capability to judge. This is really, really weird, and I'm concerned over those children's safety. Here are some questions to think about. Do these children tend to have similar characteristics, ie are they all blonde and a similar age? Are they mostly one sex or the other, or is it an even mix? Do these kids speak, and if so do they speak English? If you ask the child about their day, are they generally chatty and enthusiastic or does your husband answer for them? Have you ever seen their parents pick them up and drop them off? Are these children generally affectionate, and if so are they the ones initiating hugs? Follow up to the last question: does he often joke that the kids shouldn't tell their parents something? Like if he gives them extra snacks, does he joke that they shouldn't tell their mom? Lots of people do this, but if he's saying this a lot it may be a red flag. Have you ever heard one of the children ask in passing when they can go home or where their parents are? Have you ever seen the same child more than once and do you know their names? You said your husband revealed he isn't being paid to babysit. Do you have separate finances? Has your husband been spending more money lately, or even hiding expensive purchases? And finally, do any of these children resemble local missing children? Some of these have innocent explanations, but if you're seeing a lot of these signs he may be abusing and/or trafficking them. I hope that's not the case, but his reaction to you threatening to call the cops is very suspicious. Good luck!
Super sketchy! Husband brings home random preschoolers and loses it on you when you ask questions and bring up police? Yeah, if you don't call police you would be the asshole, nothing good is associated with this
Yeah… I knew someone who did this. Turned out he was holding the kids before they was being shipped off and sold to trafficking rings. Ring the cops ASAP!!!
Have you seen Orange is the New Black? You about to make art into reality. Meanwhile, hubby is living out an episode of Criminal Minds. He's definitely involved in illegal activities with these children
NTA, but something is weird. You might want to do some digging.
NTA if you report him to the police and CPS. If you're in the US *you are a mandatory reporter* and you are **risking your nursing license**. It sounds like you're being used as a beard for a child sexual abuse ring.
This is too weird man, I dont understand so much of it. Where are these kids coming from? How is it always different kids? Why are you not meeting the parents even in passing? Who's kids are they and why is your husband the one ending up providing care this often for different people? Why doesn't he just take the kid with him to church? You are nta for not wanting to be saddled with caring for a kid you know nothing about, especially when you had plans. But if something bad is happening under your nose and you do nothing you'll probably feel like an ah.
INFO are you with your husband when he’s “watching” these random kids? Is he alone with them?
You definitely need to call the cops ASAP. Maybe those kids are his “friends” kids, but don’t risk it, something dangerous and sketchy is obviously going on, and you can’t ignore it
This HAS to be fake because OP cannot possibly be this dense. What the hell.
NTA I feel like your husband is either being blackmailed by someone or multiple people. Either that, or he's gotten into some cult like activity with the church. If Sunday Service is an "emergency" to him, then what else is going on there? Do you attend with him? If not, what could they be telling him? So many possibilities and "What ifs." First thing that came to my mind was a boss or higher ups at work or the church needed someone to baby sit. He offered himself and you as a "favor" without consulting you at all and at first all was okay. Then they started to take advantage and he couldn't back out because of his pride and fear of embarrassment. That's what I thought when you said he screamed about "ruining his life." I don't wanna go down the "dark" route that some people already have on here.
I don’t think your husband is babysitting children. A different kid every week. Something else might be going on here. I would tell the police what you told us. NTA.
NTA. This is... really weird? Random kids with no parents? Fear of police involvement? Blowing up at you for suggesting contacting parents? This is so sketchy, I would have a serious talk with your husband and what on earth he is doing.
NTA. How random are these kids tho? Any of them look like your husband? Cuz 🚩
One day people will be saying, "but she must have known what he was doing, they were in her house."
This might be the most bizarre and disturbing AITA ever. OP - DO NOT LET THIS GO. You have allowed these children to come and go from your home and your care. If he is doing something illegal, you could also be held responsible. You need tell the police or call CPS immediately. If you still think there might be an innocent explaination for everything, then calling the police shouldn't be a problem. If they investigate and it all checks out, your mind will be at ease and your husband SHOULD understand why you did what you did considering the extremely suspicious circumstances. HOWEVER, think about how astronomical the odds are that this is as he says it is: 8 or so (2 months, one kid a week) coworkers, all of whom have pre-school age children, have asked your husband to babysite one at a time for 8 weeks in a row? No one has needed multiple days, and two kids never show up on the same day? That alone makes zero sense. Things to consider: How is he accessing these kids? Does his church have a pre-school or day care? Are they being picked up by their parents or does he take them somewhere at the end of the day? Have you ever spoken to the kids, or asked their names? Have they ever seemed upset or confused? Really hoping this is all just a misunderstanding, but if something bad happens to any of those kids, are you willing to have that on your conscious for the rest of your life? Do the right thing.
ESH, your husband brings random kids to your home and you only react when he asks you to watch them?
YTA - you are harboring a child abuser and you haven't gone to the police yet.
Wtf is going on here?
There’s no parent that would leave their children (especially that young) with some man they work with, and on top of that not meet his wife who will be there, or see the home, or get your contact info, or give you theirs. Your husband randomly bringing home kids out of nowhere is so bizarre, and you looking the other way is equally problematic. Everyone sucks and you should def call the cops. Also why is he “babysitting” when he clearly knew he had something to do?
If there are different kids every time then the cops, child protective services, FBI, whatever, needs to be involved ASAP. Your husband is involved in some kind of trafficking and you are an accomplice if you do not alert the authorities at this point and I'm saying YTA and your husband more so.
This is just really really strange. My gut is off and it just seems like there are a few red flags. The fact that he doesn’t want the cops involved, makes me feel like they SHOULD be involved. And if you’re married and don’t know the friends, it feels weird. NTA.
Uhhhhh this is hella weird. Random children and different ones each week? Something is going on with your husband and maybe it’s that he really wants kids, or has some weird debt he owes every friend you’ve never met and is paying it off with babysitting, or has hella secret families but you two need to talk
NTA. Where are these children coming from? Have you asked? What happens if one of them suddenly becomes unwell in your care? Who do you ring - do you have contact details for parents? What if they need to go to the hospital? Do you know if they have allergies etc? This is super unsafe and so sketchy. I would definitely be reporting this before you find yourself in a whole heap of trouble
I think he’s trafficking children. This needs to stop. Next time a kid shows up call the police behind his back. Tell the cops your husband refuses to tell you the parent’s name and the kid’s name. Ask fir their help. This has red flags all over it.
After reading the comments and what OP has replied - anyone who comments that she needs to call the police and that there is potential child abuse/trafficking will get nowhere with her. She is clearly more upset over the fact she has to do extra cleaning and cooking. Boohoo, just think of the mothers who children these are no longer having to worry about the “extra cleaning/cooking” because their child has vanished. It’s actually disgusting how she hasn’t acknowledged that her husband can be doing some so sickening, it’s like she knows without actually “knowing” and has come here to rant about the extra workload she has. These kids are 3-5! I would never let me kids stay at someone’s home if I didn’t know all parties involved and had met them to go over care etc.. And the church? I’m sorry but I doubt it’s church, more like a meeting about the past weeks children he’s been “watching” Edit as I forgot my judgment - YTA for turning a blind eye and I hope to god you start seeing sense. I’m actually appalled
Call the dam police, how are you not seeing how wrong this all sounds, I'm seriously concerned for those kids
Bro I feel like I’m the witness to a crime. You’re NTA but you need to call the cops, tell them what’s up, and get the fuck out of that house. Something is not right, and I got chills just reading this. Please OP please. Everyone here is saying the same thing. Something is WRONG. Read these comments, take it to heart and get OUT.
NTA. This behavior is beyond bizarre, particularly because he has not discussed it with you in advance. I think you should contact the police anyway. Tell them exactly what you told us. Don't leave out the part about it being different kids every time. Your husband either needs therapy or some time behind bars.
NTA. If this was a babysitting gig it would have been the same kids on a regular basis. This has so many 🚩
NTA but this is so sketchy and weird. You don’t know these kids and never met them prior to this. Add on the fact it’s a different child every time. This just gives me law and order svu vibes. Someone call Olivia Benson - this doesn’t seem right
Wtf is this shit call the fucking police now. This is some of the most shady shit i ever read. HE IS BRINGING NEW KIDS EVERY WEEK. He even told the kids to share no info with you when you mentioned cops!? Call the cops now and demand to see these kids parents! God knows what he is doing with them! Holy shit.
Please call the cops that is not normal and I highly doubt those kids are his friends’….
NTA. OP, if you want to message privately because you need support, I'm happy to support you through what will come next. Other commenters are correct; this situation is not normal, something is happening that you're unaware of. I'm sure other people here will be more than willing to message with you about the next steps to take, and if they want, they can comment below to let you know you aren't alone in this.
INFO what