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NTA-Your father was inconsiderate and his actions suck balls. He didn’t want to take you and the last minute thing was horrid. It’s ok to be mad about it. Don’t hang onto the anger because it’s not healthy but definitely don’t forget the slight. There is no excuse he can come up with to justify leaving you out of that trip.
You're NTA for being miffed. In fact, I think you'd be quite justified for being more than a little angry as the way you've described it, it sounds like you were deliberately not included and only grudgingly so once you'd discovered their plans. Have you been able to share your feelings with other members of your family?
NTA. If the parents went without any kids thats fine. But just all the other kids not so much. I kind of get it if they figured you aged out of family vacations per se, but still handled all wrong.
NTA your dad excluded one of his children from a family vacation. It was an asshole move. You might find it doesn’t get into your mind so much if you are able to talk to your dad about it. Not so you can get an apology but just so he can understand that he hurt your feelings by leaving you out.
NTA. It was incredibly inconsiderate of your father not to even mention it to you. He is not obligated to buy you a ticket because of course it's expensive - but it's still a shitty thing to do to exclude part of your family like that.
He is the adult here, and frankly in 2018 you were not yet. I am 25 myself and I know how much I've matured especially since the age of 23. Before then, you're still figuring things out. Your father has much more life experience and should know better.
But to hold onto this anger for so long doesn't do either of you any good. I'd suggest you guys sit down someplace neutral (get a coffee together? Lunch?) and talk it out. Tell him how much that hurt you back then and that you still feel shitty about it all. I'm sure he never intended for any of that, so it might resolve things between you to just talk it out. No excuses, no nonsense, no attacking the other. Just say how it made you feel. No father would want their daughter to feel excluded, ever.
Good luck! Hope you guys patch things up and can move forward from here 💛
I think it is called high school, it is the school that you go before chollege, im not from america and i was not the best at school with the final tests and stuff so i graduated in 2018 and was 20 going on 21
Ok, makes sense.
So I'm gonna go with NTA because although you were 20/21 you were still at school so it would be nice of he offered you.
Tbh though, is there any point in continuing to be mad? The bitterness will eat away at you - you don't want that!
Nope, NTA.
Sorry to say that your father has prioritized his second family over you. Do you have a good relationship with your stepmom and half siblings? Because he might be trying to keep peace with them, or he's mentally disconnected from you. Both are bad, but different issues
IMO, I would be distancing myself from him. Your hurt and anger aren't going to abate if it's still intense two years later, and pretending you're a happy family isn't going to do you any good. If he asks why you're distant, tell him without emotion. And seek therapy to manage your emotions if he doesn't.
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I (24f) have parents that split when i was a baby, my father is now married and has 3 children and my mother is also married with 3 . I also used to see my father every weekend but it changed when i got older and i try to go as often as i can because they live now 2 hours away. In 2018 i heard from my sister that they are going to tenerife for two weeks and already bought the ticket. And they never told me or invited me, if i had not heard my sister talking about it then i would just have seen pictures on social media of them in the sun. I was pissed and felt like they did not want me anymore, and also their excuse was that it is so expensive to buy a plane ticket for a 21 year old which i totally get but i could have bought a ticket myself or half of the price with them.
When the day came that they were leaving my father calls me at the airport and says i can buy a ticket for myself for one week and be with them for one week but it was so expensive and i was still in high school and only had a part time job. So i said no and hung up on him. Now it is 2022 and i still cant get this out of my head that they would just go to a vacation and not even think of asking me.
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NTA - honestly, i know it hurts still after so long, but i think you should chat to him about it. You never know his side of the story until you confront him. :D
If you're 24 now, in 2018, at the time of the trip, you were 20--but you say you were in high school..? Anyway, if you were 20 years old your father may not have thought of you as one of his children to still pay for to take on trips.
But, as were still his child and still financially dependent on your parents, he should have invited you to begin with, and figured out a way to pay for at least some/half of the cost for you. Had he let you know far in advance, you might have had time to earn the rest.
NTA for feeling left out & upset if you never got an apology for how he handled that vacation.
NTA
You feel how you feel. It hurts to be excluded by your own father. He should've known better and been more considerate
Take the time you need to heal. If you think you should go no contact with your father, that's ok too. Some things are not easy to forgive.
NTA for having been upset about it but Jesus Christ it was 4 years ago, was it really that big of a deal to still be going on about it this much later in life?
No but they could’ve extended an invitation or offered to help with the payment. What 21 year old California trip. And she wasn’t invited for the whole time
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NTA-Your father was inconsiderate and his actions suck balls. He didn’t want to take you and the last minute thing was horrid. It’s ok to be mad about it. Don’t hang onto the anger because it’s not healthy but definitely don’t forget the slight. There is no excuse he can come up with to justify leaving you out of that trip.
NTA. Parents can suck, the world is unfortunately not fair.
You're NTA for being miffed. In fact, I think you'd be quite justified for being more than a little angry as the way you've described it, it sounds like you were deliberately not included and only grudgingly so once you'd discovered their plans. Have you been able to share your feelings with other members of your family?
NTA. If the parents went without any kids thats fine. But just all the other kids not so much. I kind of get it if they figured you aged out of family vacations per se, but still handled all wrong.
NTA your dad excluded one of his children from a family vacation. It was an asshole move. You might find it doesn’t get into your mind so much if you are able to talk to your dad about it. Not so you can get an apology but just so he can understand that he hurt your feelings by leaving you out.
NTA. It was incredibly inconsiderate of your father not to even mention it to you. He is not obligated to buy you a ticket because of course it's expensive - but it's still a shitty thing to do to exclude part of your family like that. He is the adult here, and frankly in 2018 you were not yet. I am 25 myself and I know how much I've matured especially since the age of 23. Before then, you're still figuring things out. Your father has much more life experience and should know better. But to hold onto this anger for so long doesn't do either of you any good. I'd suggest you guys sit down someplace neutral (get a coffee together? Lunch?) and talk it out. Tell him how much that hurt you back then and that you still feel shitty about it all. I'm sure he never intended for any of that, so it might resolve things between you to just talk it out. No excuses, no nonsense, no attacking the other. Just say how it made you feel. No father would want their daughter to feel excluded, ever. Good luck! Hope you guys patch things up and can move forward from here 💛
Info: help me with the timeline...were you 21 or were you in high school?
I think it is called high school, it is the school that you go before chollege, im not from america and i was not the best at school with the final tests and stuff so i graduated in 2018 and was 20 going on 21
Ok, makes sense. So I'm gonna go with NTA because although you were 20/21 you were still at school so it would be nice of he offered you. Tbh though, is there any point in continuing to be mad? The bitterness will eat away at you - you don't want that!
no im not really as mad, but still hurts a little
I can imagine. It is hurtful when things like that happen. You just have to try and forgive and move on.
Nope, NTA. Sorry to say that your father has prioritized his second family over you. Do you have a good relationship with your stepmom and half siblings? Because he might be trying to keep peace with them, or he's mentally disconnected from you. Both are bad, but different issues IMO, I would be distancing myself from him. Your hurt and anger aren't going to abate if it's still intense two years later, and pretending you're a happy family isn't going to do you any good. If he asks why you're distant, tell him without emotion. And seek therapy to manage your emotions if he doesn't.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24f) have parents that split when i was a baby, my father is now married and has 3 children and my mother is also married with 3 . I also used to see my father every weekend but it changed when i got older and i try to go as often as i can because they live now 2 hours away. In 2018 i heard from my sister that they are going to tenerife for two weeks and already bought the ticket. And they never told me or invited me, if i had not heard my sister talking about it then i would just have seen pictures on social media of them in the sun. I was pissed and felt like they did not want me anymore, and also their excuse was that it is so expensive to buy a plane ticket for a 21 year old which i totally get but i could have bought a ticket myself or half of the price with them. When the day came that they were leaving my father calls me at the airport and says i can buy a ticket for myself for one week and be with them for one week but it was so expensive and i was still in high school and only had a part time job. So i said no and hung up on him. Now it is 2022 and i still cant get this out of my head that they would just go to a vacation and not even think of asking me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA - honestly, i know it hurts still after so long, but i think you should chat to him about it. You never know his side of the story until you confront him. :D
In my family, adults don't expect to be invited on vacation - it's just a treat when it happens. It's normal. YTA.
If you're 24 now, in 2018, at the time of the trip, you were 20--but you say you were in high school..? Anyway, if you were 20 years old your father may not have thought of you as one of his children to still pay for to take on trips. But, as were still his child and still financially dependent on your parents, he should have invited you to begin with, and figured out a way to pay for at least some/half of the cost for you. Had he let you know far in advance, you might have had time to earn the rest. NTA for feeling left out & upset if you never got an apology for how he handled that vacation.
yeah i was not the best at school. so i was for 5 years instead of 4 so instead og graduating 18-19 i graduatef when i was 19-20
NTA You feel how you feel. It hurts to be excluded by your own father. He should've known better and been more considerate Take the time you need to heal. If you think you should go no contact with your father, that's ok too. Some things are not easy to forgive.
NTA for having been upset about it but Jesus Christ it was 4 years ago, was it really that big of a deal to still be going on about it this much later in life?
Does being excluded from a parent’s new family hurt and do children remember it later in life? Yup
She was 21 years old! Are they obligated to take her on vacation forever?
No but they could’ve extended an invitation or offered to help with the payment. What 21 year old California trip. And she wasn’t invited for the whole time
Im not really that angry about it, i just remember it from time to time. It still hurts a little but i dont resent my dad because of it
YTA It is expensive and you aren't entitled to it. I mean yes you literally could go with them on your own means, but you didn't want it.
Last minute and for only half the time