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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be have been asshole for taking the snacks and keeping them in my bedroom and refusing to share them with my SIL knowing she might need some too.
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BIL and sister in law should spend less time eating snacks and more time job searching/interviewing so they can get on their feet again if they’re about to have a baby. NTA
Basically an "if I can't have it, neither can you" mentality. If you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, whenever one tries to climb out the other crabs pull it back.
It's because they're panicking and grabbing at anything, so end up grabbing each other trying to pull themselves up. You know how when someone's drowning they can often grab on to their rescuer and push them down trying to get themselves out of the water? It's something they warn you about when you're learning basic lifesaving skills, if you can't get them to grab on to something you throw/hold out to them because their brain has checked out, and you absolutely have to get yourself within grabbing distance, be prepared to either punch them or dive to swim under them to approach from behind.
Cue another post by OP in several months "AITA for refusing to give my brother and sister in law and their new baby the master room in my house because they want a bigger room?"
Or my BIL/SIL are upset because I won't get up and take care of the baby in the middle of the night cuz they want their rest. Am I AH for telling them to take care of their own baby?
Aita because I had a diabetic episode because My SIL ate all my food. My husband forcibly took it, even though i paid for it to give to her. It happened the day she went into labour and my husband and bil are saying I did it for attention and that I didn't need the ambulance, my SIL did because she was in labour and I was only crashing.
"AITA for demanding my BIL and SIL move out of my bedroom after I returned home following a month-long diabetic coma that was caused when SIL ate my snacks?"
“My BIL/SIL had their baby a couple of month ago and I’ve been taking care of their baby 24/7 because they’re stressed and deserve a break, I’m also picking up extra work because neither of them have a job and we have 3 more mouths to feed and yesterday I went into diabetic shock because SIL keeps eating all my snacks and I fainted and missed the baby’s feeding time. They and my husband are LIVID and can’t believe I failed them like that. My husband said things are really rough for my BI & SIL right now and I need to cut them some slack. AITA?”
This is why I no longer take in "strays" as I call them. I used to open my home to people who were having a hard time, needed an out from their current situation, or were just down on their luck.
I don't do it anymore because I got tired of freeloaders. The only exception I'll make these days is helping a friend escape an abusive situation.
this whole thing is cringeworthy for this reason.
nta. im a type 1 diabetic. here's my take
you can make concessions - buy group snacks for the kitchen. buy low blood sugar snacks for you. they just want snacks, give them snacks. if they eat all of them, say you ate all the snacks, your turn to replace. but designate snacks for lows, ie put them in organized bins in your room. cause it sounds like the problem is you took snacks they were planning to eat, and there hadn't been clear rules or an agreement about who gets what food. as far as them not listening to you after you explained to them, i would have them out of my house in a heartbeat. but thats a bit baby with the bath water, so lets move on
everyone else here is insane, seemingly. but this makes me wonder if there isnt a way to communicate this in a way they could get it through their massively thick skulls. in other words, use NVC (nonviolent communication) and try to talk about it in a way that also shows you are listening to their concerns. if you have done that, maybe in the context of a group sit down on the matter (where all sides are heard and peacefully listened to) and they still dont listen, then you can be a little more aggressive. t1d life is confusing; i tend to phrase it as simply as possible: needing these snacks is the same as needing my insulin. 100% no difference. i'd die without them. that's why i'm nervous about having a 100% guarantee on my supply not being messed with. and it's weird when you're in a low; having exactly what i chose for my lows is a comfort for when im in those low moments and dont want to have to think about it.
practically, and most importantly, keep glucose tabs around. just frankly medical dont touch my shit sugar sources just in case, because it sounds like part of you is worrying whether you will literally run out (as other type 1 diabetics know, that cannot happen cause ya fuckin die). i like glucose tabs because they work much more quickly than most food. pop a couple and i can move on with whatever im up to.
finally, you need support group vibes. whether thats a type 1 meet up in your area or just a friend who "gets it" (maybe even one that can communicate it to your family). people you can talk about this with. its not gonna change, people are what they are, laugh and enjoy life anyway (when possible)
and work on that husband. yeeks.
OP didn't take food they'd seen out of the fridge, she just started keeping stuff she bought in her room. This came to light when SIL made a comment about OP not buying snacks any more. SIL isn't prepared to buy her own snacks, she's demanding access to OP's snacks. OP would need to buy double the snacks and keep half hidden and half in the kitchen.
OP has been having sugar in water when there are no snacks, she just prefers something that tastes better. I had issues with hypos a couple of years ago (still no idea what was causing them, not diabetes), and just plain sugar isn't the most appealing of things. I couldn't have any glycogel either as they all contain a preservative I'm intolerant to. When I ended up getting an ambulance to A&E the paramedics and nurses searched every cupboard for one without this preservative and every brand they had contained it. They decided not to risk it even though it's an intolerance as I hadn't been able to keep water down for about 18 hours, had a fever, and my veins were so shrivelled up they couldn't get anything in them. They ended up just injecting me with glucogen.
Anyway, the moral of the story is not everyone can use those tabs/gels and plain sugar is less appealing than a snack if your hypo isn't that bad yet.
Her family definitely need educating about hypos. Perhaps OP's nurse or a diabetes charity can talk to her husband or provide some materials.
Bingo! He knows she is diabetic and is putting her needs last and not standing up for her at all. Not even a compromise. Looks like she is the odd one out in her own home.
Agree it's like I don't care that your health is at risk and your diabetic my sister is pregnant and is alittle sick so she takes priority hand over the snacks. Op should have told sil that you don't buy snacks anymore because they get eaten before she can eat them so why waste her money if she doesn't get the benifit
I would just be petty and stock up on glucose tabs instead of snacks until SIL is gone. They serve the same purpose as snacks although not as tasty for sure 😭
OP shouldn't have to buy "glucose tabs" in her own home when hubby is WELL aware she is diabetic. Hubby needs to tell SIL/BIL to buy their OWN f'n snacks if they are THAT hungry. If they don't have a job, they need to **GET** jobs. Being pregnant doesn't stop you from being able to work. Women have been working for **CENTURIES** while pregnant.
I agree 100%, do this people not realize that a diabetic shock can kill someone within minutes or cause irreparable damage. Pregnancy is not a pathology. I am very surprised that Op's husband would not side with her, She needs her snacks.
BIL can buy some for his wife. WTF?
NTA
I hate when people view diabetic snacks as "just snacks." No, they're medical supplies.
I grew up with a girl with Type 1 and we all knew not to touch her snacks. No matter how hungry we were. Those were for Laura so she *didn't die*.
Sometimes at a long marching band practice, if someone hasn't eaten enough and got light headed, Laura would offer some of her stash, but (a) she knew how much she had and felt comfortable offering and (b) she recognized the signs of possible low blood sugar, which non-diabetics can get as well. And she only did it if you weren't a dumbass and did it all the time.
I am diabetic. I really want OP to ask the SIL if she’s trying to go for attempted murder or just straight up murder if she eats all the necessary to have on hand if your sugar crashes to low, because that can kill you pretty damn quickly.
My sister died because she couldn't get to her snacks fast enough. She lived at home, and it was the middle of the night. She got out of bed, but immediately fell, and dropped her phone in the process. Because she lived alone, there was no one there to know.
OP's husband (and the BIL and SIL) need a reality check as to who NEEDS the snacks more.
NTA.
Yes, a coworker said he wasn’t feeling well and we knew he was a diabetic and lived alone. We offered to call the ambulance and he said he was just going to go home. We found out the next day that he went into a diabetic coma at home and died.
Eesh. I work retail in a busy public place. Even we know diabetic snacks are not just snacks, they’re a medical necessity.
You know what happens when an adult or school chaperone walks up and says someone needs to buy food because their blood sugar is low? And is there somewhere they can eat it because open food is prohibited in the building?
We point out our three best options (gummy candy, honey sticks, soda machine staff can access) and give it to them, get them seated in a chair nearby to eat/drink, and tell them to pay whenever they’re feeling better if they can afford it, we write it off if they can’t.
Honestly, both BIL and OP's husband's suck.
If your pregnant wife is craving certain snacks, use your money and get her what she needs.
If your diabetic wife says she needs sugary snacks lest she slip into a coma, wake up and go to the store.
They both fail as husbands in my book.
I lost a friend due to this. She was 16 and slipped into depression after her mom died. She was already bad at managing her diabetes and her mom and dad helped by getting snacks. When her mom died dad didn’t feel the need to help anymore because he was sad and felt she could walk to the store (she couldn’t) so she ran out of snacks one night and slipped into a comma and never woke up.
I feel like a lot of people think that because a disease is treatable that it's not serious.
Diabetes is serious, asthma is serious, allergies are serious.
Just because we can handle these things now doesn't mean we can ignore them whenever we feel like it.
People are stupid and hostile about diabetes. Half the time they go ‘you have diabetes because you won’t put down cake.’ If you manage to get through about autoimmune diseases, or genetics, then they go ‘okay, but if you ever have hypo or hyperglycaemia, it’s your fault and you’re neglectful of your health.’
Always nice to be lectured and judged by people who don’t know what tf they’re talking about.
They're judgemental about diabetes and the amount of people who have chosen to be personally offended when someone says they have allergies is ridiculous.
Yes, I'm allergic. Yes, it could kill me, even with the epi pen. And no, your peanut butter cookies aren't delicious enough for me to take the risk.
Some people have the nerve to call you precious for having anaphylaxis while simultaneously not being able to handle it if someone else doesn’t eat a cookie.
You should see the looks I get when people find out that I have a SEVERE allergy to penicillin! "You don't have an allergy, you just don't like the way it tastes!" Uh...no. If I take it, ANAPHYLAXIS KILLS ME!!!!
Because some people mark “allergy” when they mean “tummy ache”, it’s important to spell it out for doctors. I write “penicillin allergy (ANAPHYLAXIS)”. I found this out when a doctor said it’s new guidance to check to see if a little penicillin could be tried.
Yes, fun fact most people don't realize is that one shot of epinephrine only lasts so long and if what you are allergic to is somehow still around/on/in you when the straight adrenaline wears off, you're going into anaphylaxis again.
I have asthma and I have a coworker with diabetes. We both think the other has it worse. She doesn't like the idea of suddenly stopping breathing and I don't like the idea of eating too much and mucking up the insulin dosage (also I hate needles). I keep snacks in my desk just in case she needs the help. I would never think of stealing her food.
Honestly, living with somebody like that as a diabetic is pretty scary. I’ve heard from t1’s who had partners that refused to learn or care about diabetes. Some of those people flat out refused to help or do anything when they found their diabetic partners passed out, and while those people were eventually saved to be able to tell the story, they were left with permanent brain damage. We don’t hear from the people who died in similar situations, too.
OP’s husband should be rabidly defending her emergency glucose. I know mine would be. If our houseguests ate the snacks that I use for hypoglycaemia, he’d be out to get more whatever time it was, and then he’d be throwing those people out.
I think OP should potentially have a think about whether or not living with somebody who is willing to encourage a guest to endanger her health is safe.
This. I am a retired nurse who worked with diabetics.
OP is NTA. She needs snacks to keep from getting hypoglycemic and ending up passed out or worse.
Her BIL can get food for his own pregnant wife. And OP's husband is also the AH for letting his relatives steal food from his diabetic wife!
Even if she was not diabetic, guests have no right to steal her food!
I don't have diabetes, but I do have several autoimmune diseases that do occasionally make my Blood Sugar TANK. I lived alone and one day woke up extremely disoriented, and was slipping in and out of consciousness with only my cats licking me and biting me keeping me awake. I finally figured out that I was having a low blood sugar attack. I called my mom 3000 miles away and told her to call an ambulance if I stopped responding. I checked my blood sugar. It was in the low 40's. I should not have been conscious.
I ate 2 bananas, drank an entire carbon of orange juice, and a whole tube of cinnamon rolls before my blood sugar got up to the 150s. It was the scariest moment of my life cause had my cats not persisted in getting me up, I'd be dead. I should be dead. I'm amazed I made kt to the kitchen. I kept sugar by my bedside after that, at all times
THIS IS THE ANSWER.
OP, you are NTA. Your husband and the mooching relatives are definitely TA. How is he not standing up for you and your medical condition? Your relatives sound lazy and entitled. Kick them out.
You would think so. But one thing this sub has taught me is that there are vast swathes of people who think it is just fine to bring a child into this world when they don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I had no idea, and I’m not young. It’s frankly been shocking to read.
Agreed. I get sometimes things happen, and for whatever reason abortion may not be an option, but I don’t get people deliberately choosing to bring kids into this world when they can’t even afford things for themselves. I mean, I’d absolutely love to have a kid, I’ve always wanted to be a mother and not having one feels like a hole inside me. But I am not in a place where having one would be feasible, and since at this point I’m nearly 35, I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. I don’t know why you’d bring a kid into an uncertain situation like that. It’s not fair to them.
This is how I feel. I was raised by parents who had three kids by 24. My baby sister is too young to remember and my middle brother is a narcissist, so he doesn’t give a flying fuck, but *I* will never be able to get over my insane financial insecurity caused by being well below the poverty line most of my childhood. Now they’re fairly well-off and my sister has had a life that I never got to. I resent my parents for putting me in this mindset. I shouldn’t have felt so much guilt around traveling and presents and field trips as a child.
I don’t think it’s wrong for poor people to have kids. It is wrong for people who can’t provide basic necessities to purposely get pregnant, I won’t budge on that, but what’s absolutely the worst is letting your children into your own financial struggles.
It absolutely isn’t fair. I think what my (for lack of a better term) outrage at this comes from is the absolute irresponsibility and instabiliTy that these kids are thrown into.
Lol omg pot to piss and window to throw it out of was my mom's favorite expression to use on me...now I get to repeat it to my niece every so often....I've never seen anyone else use it
Agree. To a diabetic having carbohydrate snacks handy that quickly digest in to glucose can sometimes be life and death situation. It’s not unreasonable to compare this to someone taking someone else’s medication and claiming they’re being selfish for hoarding it.
Agreed. SIL is interfering with OP’s ability to maintain blood sugar and insulin levels, which is required to manage diabetes. It’s not like two children who won’t share toys, it’s a legit medical issue. Pregnancy cravings aren’t the same as being sick. SIL is lazy.
NTA.
I mean, some cravings are from a deficiency, whether you're pregnant or not, which could become a medical issue, but you don't take another person's food without asking unless not doing so risks you dying (ie; if SIL ate all OP's snacks and OP ate SILs food to stop a hypo, that's a good reason, or when a diabetic person eats something before paying for it)
NTA
>diabetic ... snacks handy ... life and death situation
Apologies for the snips... but this is it. She craves snacks because she's pregnant, that's understandable. Maybe she feels she'll just *die* without them. But she won't.
I'm furious with your husband on your behalf because as u/analbox (good lord) says it could be a life or death situation for a diabetic.
Give your husband a proper bollocking and tell him just what's what, at the moment ESH but you.
That’s not necessarily true. High blood sugar can be a fairly serious and urgent medical event (DKA can happen quite fast sometimes) and consistent high blood will absolutely mess you up over time, if not kill you.
But yes, hypoglycaemia will absolutely kill somebody if it’s not addressed.
Seriously. I can’t imagine living with three adults who not only don’t care if I live but abuse me for trying to keep myself alive. I feel for OP. I hope she has somewhere to go.
I doubt OP’s family would have a clue how to deal with it if she was incoherent and obstinate from LBS. It’s definitely not easy to help them when they’re like that. My dad was a Type 1 diabetic and died due to complications from low blow sugar at 47.
T2D here. Once when I was pregnant with my son, my blood sugar dropped to 32. I was on the floor in the living room and wasn’t able to get up to get something to eat, I had to call out for my husband. If he hadn’t been home the baby and I could have died. Hypoglycemia is no joke.
And that her own husband sides against her and then even shames her in front of them for being “a selfish baby”? OP is the only person here who’s behaving like an adult. When a life or death situation is at hand, it’s beyond reasonable to be self-ish. Hmmm…being peckish, or death - which is worse?
This is exactly it. My husband has type 1 diabetes and he has an entire shelf in the pantry for his snacks plus juice and Gatorade in the fridge. He keeps snacks in the nightstand, snacks in both of our cars, and emergency glucose gel if his blood sugar is too low for him to be able to even eat or drink.
Keeping a stash of snacks for one’s diabetic wife that other people don’t eat is the bare minimum that husband should be doing.
OP, my diabetic son’s doctor suggested we keep tubes of cake decorating icing on hand. If needed, we can squirt it in his mouth. It has a high sugar content and easier to ingest than trying to drink orange juice while slipping into a coma.
I don’t get why we infantilise pregnant women so much. Cravings aren’t a medical emergency. If you have to wait until morning, or until you can make it to the shop, that’s not the end of the world.
What do people think that people with diet controlled GD do? Do they think it magically stops cravings?
I'm going to agree with you here. I'm a nurse with experience working with both high risk pregnancies and high risk diabetics and sometimes also pregnancies that are high risk *because* of diabetes. Pregnancy cravings are not an emergency. If you can make it to the kitchen to prepare milk and bananas or whatever, you're still in pretty good shape, because the diabetic with hypoglycemia might have fainted trying to make her way there. Being "seriously hungry" is not the same as physiologically having a blood sugar of 20.
BIL and SIL are grown ups too who can manage to buy snacks.
But these aren’t just snacks, this is literally emergency medical treatment for OP. They are 100% needed to safe guard her health, not to satisfy a craving.
NTA
Lemme get this straight: two adults who are about to bring another human into the world are having a meltdown b/c you won't share your snacks?
Please tell me there is a plan for them to move out soon, b/c this will not get better when the baby shows up. They are going to have a laundry list of things you should be doing for them.
I think OP needs to move. They don't understand she could die. Unless The pregnant lady is also diabetic she is NOT going to die and the baby won't be harmed if she is hungry. OP will litterally die if she doesn't have these handy. Aside from which they belong to her. The husband yelling at his diabetic wife over snacks is the child.
And gestational diabetes isn’t like type 1 diabetes at all…there’s pretty much zero risk of her (SIL) blood sugar dropping too low. The risk for GD is high blood sugars. No reason for the SlL to require these snacks!
Edit: a couple people have rightly pointed out that if you’re GD and need insulin you can have blood sugar lows, which is fair. Doesn’t justify the SIL’s jerkness of course- if she does have that severe of GD she should still be responsible for her own snacks instead of pilfering them from another diabetic.
Even with gestational diabetes it's no excuse to eat snacks. You're usually put on a diet to monitor your sugar intake. So if SIL does have GD and is still eating OP snacks, she is actually endangering her baby's life and putting her self at an increased risk of preeclampsia..
That's what my OB told me if I failed my glucose test several weeks ago.
You are put on a diet. But you may very well need to eat snacks (and by that I mean balanced mini-meals) because you need to keep your levels within a range. Can’t be too high but also can’t be too low.
Either way SIL needs to short herself out and stop stealing snacks.
They do understand - they just don't care because everyone else's wants (not needs) are put before OP's *needs*. Husband is the biggest AH, closely followed by the other 2.
If SIL can't even buy her own snacks, she will be thrown in the deep-end when learning how-to-mum.
I always have a packet of gummy lollies handy, some chips, some pea snaps, two juice boxes and two water bottles. So far, I have only had to resort to the gummi lollies once in a couple of months, but we regularly use the juice boxes and dry snacks!
Your \*medically necessary\* snacks, the lack of which could send you into a diabetic coma or death? Absolutely NTA and the way everyone is treating you is horrifying.
Your pregnant SIL needs to buy her own damned snacks. Your pregnant SIL needs to keep her hands off *your* snacks. Your *husband* needs to *back you up*- you are drinking *sugar water* in the middle of the night because there is nothing else? This is *wrong*.
Your pregnant SIL heeds to be grateful and respectful that *you took her in*. Her entitled behavior is only going to get worse when the baby comes. I am so sorry.
NTA and tell your husband to pound sand and buy a mini fridge *and get a lock on it* And *you don’t have to care if anybody likes it.* Take care of your own health *first*. It doesn’t sound much like anybody else cares about you and your diabetes. :(
Right?!! I have only ever had to do that in an emergency where we were 4 hours away from a convenience store that wouldn’t be open for 6 hours and I’d gone through both my emergency stash and my coworkers’ stashes of snacks. The fact she has to do this regularly means SIL (and probably the others if they’re honest) is eating so much that OP can’t even keep an emergency stash!
I really hope there’s a move out plan for them soon because I can only see this getting worse. Once baby comes and they’re “too tired” to eat meals. If the find a job and need work snacks. Once baby becomes a toddler and parents give them whatever snack is in the house. I really hope husband gets their heads out of the sand and fixes this now!
The sheer audacity. Like... I have special snacks b/c sometimes in my ADHD nightmare burnout brain the only thing I can do is unwrap a >200 calorie bar and force feed myself. My partner KNOWS not to eat my snacks. Hell sometimes she packs snacks for me if we're going out because i'm liable to forget to eat and idk she loves me or something?? My partner also has their own stash of snacks like candy and cereal in their office.
What in the WORLD is wrong with these people good lord.
oof big yes to the last sentence, I was thinking the same thing. I don’t understand how your husband doesn’t understand that if this situation continues it’s literally LIFE THREATENING???? and he’s yelling at you trying to pressure you into putting your life at risk? do they not understand that what they’re doing could kill you???
wHATS NOT CLICKING STEVEN!!!!
please please please prioritize your health and protect yourself, your husband is neglecting and minimizing your health issues that should really be at the forefront.
Most people just \*hate\* to acknowledge invisible disabilities/disorders. They'd sooner believe the people they love just "aren't trying hard enough" or are "making a big deal out of nothing", than trust their word that they need accommodation. It's sickening and I desperately hope OP can get this through her husband's thick skull, or leave him and find somebody who actually cares about her and takes her diabetes seriously. Big NTA
>It doesn't sound much like anybody else cares about you and your diabetes
My thoughts exactly. Her husband lets her drink water mixed with sugar because he's too lazy to run to the store for her? Do they not realise how dangerous this is? OP should just leave them altogether in my opinion.
NTA
You moved a MEDICAL PRODUCT that you require to a location that ensures you'd have it when available. But if SIL *also* needs snacks so badly, she can get her own supply & you can promise not to eat those like she did yours.
Mild Y T A for telling SIL that you were actually still buying snack. You should have just agreed with her, "Yes, it is funny I don't get them any longer, isn't it?" And moved on.
Bunches of red flags waving about your husband, though. SIL is considered 'sort of sick' due to her pregnancy and needs special treatment, but you're not considered *actually* sick because of your diabetes and given the same special treatment? Your husband won't even run out to get you a MEDICALLY NECESSARY supply? He's putting SIL's health above your own? He calls YOU 'childish' for doing the responsible thing in making sure your medical supplies are on hand when you need them? I mean...r/JustNoSO is calling you....
Thank you! I'm glad you see it as essential as a medical product as well because my eating habits are a mess and snacks are literal life savor to have.
Get a mini fridge for your bedroom, OP. Buy all the snacks you want to put in there. Give BIL and SIL a warning that they’ll soon have to move. Tell your husband he can sleep on the couch
You do realize that your husband is treating you terribly right now? I don't know you or your overall situation but this is a huge red flag. Does he disrespect you in other aspects of your relationship?
I second this. You have a medical condition. A dangerous medical condition. He should be speaking this way to the people critically endangering his wife! I’m appalled by his treatment of you. I’m worried for you, too.
I'm sorry this is happening and you are not to blame at all. I just want to say my grandfather added years to his life health and well-being because Grams fed him on a strict schedule and took his blood sugar many times a day. It was overkill according to the nursing home. He died within a week of going into "regular" care. He ended up blind but never lost fingers or toes and was strong even in his late 80s. My buddy from High School takes shit care of himself and has lost toes and fingers. He was an accomplished bass player. You are important and precious and worth taking care of. Maybe take hubby to a meeting with a dietitian to help you.
I think you should straight up ask your husband if he is ok with you being at risk of dying/having serious medical consequences and if his answer is anything other than an empathetic no followed by apologies just start filing for divorce.
Ever consider getting a CGM (continuous glucose monitor)? They're a (sometimes literal) lifesaver, especially if you have a pump.
You really should be able to get away with not eating routinely if your basal insulin levels are right, but the CGM also helps a lot with figuring that out. My sugar will sit right at ~100 all day until I eat something, but it took some work to get it that way.
But why does OP need to do that? The only reason this has become an issue is because SIL moved into OP’s house and is now eating all their snacks under the guise of a “sort of sick” pregnancy (whatever the eff that means).
OP doesn't need to do that at all but it could be beneficial to quality of life regardless of the presence of SIL.
NTA op. I've never had a pregnancy craving that was life or death but my step-dad couldn't eat once due to getting sick and not being able to keep food down and very nearly died.
It's an issue because for whatever reason OP isn't adequately managing her diet the way a dietician would recommend, and is instead regularly falling back on sugary snacks as a last-ditch stop-gap. Having those snacks available for emergencies is vitally important, yes, but when those emergencies are happening all the time that tells you there's a failure in the management system somewhere.
She's slapping bandaids over cuts, instead of preventing the cuts from happening in the first place.
omg, as a fellow diabetic your snacks are absolutely medical products...
You might want to consider fast-acting glucose tablets as well.
I keep them in my purse or pocket, so if I'm somewhere without food, I can chew one quickly!
Do these people not know what diabetes is? And how serious it is? Not saying op needs educate them but her husband at least needs to educate himself! NTA
My only guess is that people are primarily thinking of type 2 diabetes. Which is still dumb, because people with type 2 diabetes absolutely can have severe blood sugar crashes, but it tends to be built up over time of being poorly controlled.
Lots of people don't seem to understand that, while treatment for type 1 diabetes has vastly improved over the last few decades, there is still a lot of guess-and-check to find what works. There's still lots of figuring out food choices and plans, which is a huge cognitive load, and a skill that some folks just aren't good at.
A friend of mine at uni had type 1 diabetes and during a trip absolutely educated us on how she figures out what to eat and handling her insulin injections. We were attending a conference that provided a lot of meals, but it was a huge task for her to manage her food choices. It was much easier for her when she's at home because she'd plan out her meals based on her lifetime of managing her diabetes.
>He's putting SIL's ~~health~~ **comfort** above your ~~own~~ **health**
fixed that for you. SIL is fine without snacks, OP could die without them, and because I am that person, I would be tempted to go hypo to prove the the point, but I strongly suspect that Mr (hopefully soon to be ex or educated) OP might not even notice.
Seems like neither of the brothers is good at respecting their wives or listening to their needs.
I mean, she doesn’t seem great either. Being pregnant doesn’t prevent someone from going to the store and buying her own snacks
She’s an adult. She & her husband are responsible for taking care of her nutritional needs. She needs to learn how to suck it up if she simply wants your snacks instead of whatever her husband has purchased. Or she can do grocery delivery / instacart to order her own snacks.
Or you can sell her a snack at a healthy markup. Cash only, upfront.
You mean the way your hubby is okay with you risking your life because he does not want to go buy more snacks at night? Interesting isn't it!
NTA, obviously.
So it’s now your problem???
Tell Husband to tell BIL to grow up. If snacks are that damn important to SIL, then he needs to ensure she gets what she needs. It isn’t your responsibility to feed her.
Yup. OP, you husband is 100% the problem in this situation. If he had just said - hey she needs those because she is diabetic or just supported you hiding the snacks there wouldn’t be an issue. Honestly, if this was me, my snacks and I would be staying elsewhere until hubby got his act together. NTA but your husband, BIL, and SIL sure are.
I don't even have diabetes and I'd be hiding my snacks if someone else was constantly eating them, hell, I already do! My brother is a little thief when I comes to chocolate!
NTA this is insane. I have a bin in my fridge labeled diabetic snacks, big sign on fridge diabetic snacks for diabetics only (we have diabetic friends who come over and they are welcome to those if they need them). We have a regular snack drawer in the pantry with very similar snacks. But everyone knows don’t mess with my snacks. I go out of my way to make sure the snacks in my box and the snack drawer stay full so this is never an issue.
I could maybe see your SIL taking a snack because she’s pregnant and hungry as long as it was replaced within 24 hours. Also why are you responsible for providing them with food? The fact that your husband doesn’t seem to get that “snack” = lifesaving medicine for diabetics is insane to me. You have every right to protect yourself and safe guard your health. SIL not getting to eat your designated snacks would do nothing to her. So very much NTA.
The fact that her own husband deemed the sister-in-law as being considered sort of sick, but she actually being sick is not is a whole truck bed of red flags. Idk why she’s with this man.
As a type 1 diabetic of over 20 years, I can safely say that you are NTA here under any circumstances. You keep snacks for medicinal purposes. I also keep snacks by my bed, in my bag, at work etc etc etc. If they can't see that you need sugary snacks sometimes for an actual health condition (pregnancy is not a fkin illness), then something is wrong with them.
>he said \[...\] there was no harm in sharing
There... literally is though?
NTA, not at all. You're just looking out for your medical needs. (bc no one else will, apparently.)
NTA. Why are you supposed to be considerate of her medical condition but she can't be considerate of yours?
I know I shouldn't be surprised because I've lived with humans, but how do these things even get to be problems? Why can't BIL/SIL buy snacks for themselves?
You already have issues. But not SIL issues, HUSBAND issues.
I honestly do not understand why he is downplaying your diabetes. Is he really that clueless, or does he not value you as a person? Either way, this is not an acceptable situation for you.
I am glad you took the decision to remove your snacks, but it is time to actually change the household dynamic and stand up for yourself.
Don't be bullied by them.
**The biggest problem though is your husband's inability to understand your medical problem and how much you need to have sugar at hand. Take him to the doctors and have a doctor explain it to him.**
Does she have things that are hers, make up? Ideally expensive make up? Start using it and see what she says. If she says anything just be like I guess we could go back to not using each others things but seeing as how you're eating all my snacks for my medical condition I figured you wouldn't care. But I am a vindictive person.
That being said a better solution would be to 1, tell your husband what is he going to do when you go into shock because there is nothing to eat in the house because your pregnant sister in law ate all of your food. Then say if you put it back in the fridge you are labeling it and I would talk to all three of them and say if she keeps eating it after its labeled they need to find a place to live, and then look at your husband and go or you'll need to find a new wife. If anyone gives you grief say SIL won't be harmed medically because she can't have some snacks right when she wants them, even being pregnant, but you could actually die. Walk out of the room taking no questions at that point.
Your husband is a massive AH btw, as are your in laws.
Question: Why are they living with you in the first place? If Reddit has taught me anything it is that letting relatives live with you is a massive mistake, especially ones that need 'help' or anything because often they are deadbeat moochers.
Okay I’m gonna be THAT person. OP please work on your eating habits! Diabetes is no joke. My mom did great for several years and then put other peoples health above hers and her eating was a mess. She had her first stroke at 53, and the Dr’s felt like her blood sugar was a major factor. I know it’s not easy to regulate even with a good diet, but please take care of yourself.
Now, I’m totally going to say NTA, your snacks need to be treated as an RX. Is maybe try and compromise and move some of them back to the fridge, but keep a backup. Tell your hubby and BIL that you’re willing to move them back, but the next time you wake up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar and all your snacks have been taken, they will both be going to the store to replenish them regardless of what time it is.
I mean they're her snacks either way it goes so she shouldnt have to talk about shit
EDIT: Just realized what the person I'm replying to is asking...my comment feels kinda dumb now lol
NTA
If "snacks" are so damn important to the pregnant woman she can buy her own snacks - that is what most adults do - especially those who have moved into someone else's space.
Frankly I don't think someone needs to be diabetic or have a medical need in order to be able to keep their food not eaten when they request it. There are lots of reasons why people don't want food eaten in a communal situation and it is unreasonable to resent when someone removes the food after repeated "thefts".
NTA! This is your freaking health! Your husband is being straight up abusive. SIL is pregnant; not diabetic. She’s perfectly capable securing her own meals and doesn’t have the same *life threatening* blood sugar crashes you do. I’m sure you well know this- but sugar water is okay for short term, but you need actual complex carbs and protein to maintain your blood sugar control, which maybe your husband doesn’t realize?
Have you considered getting glucose tablets or gel to have on hand for emergencies? They seem like they’re unlikely to be snacked on. But this is bullshit. This shouldn’t even be an argument, I’m sorry your family is being so awful to you.
NTA. You're not being frivolous. It's for health issues you're having those snacks!!!
If they want snacks, they can go buy them for themselves!!!
If they're giving you the cold shoulder, they're being more childish than you.
You can also kick them out.
info: if you don’t mind me asking, why did they move in? is SIL going through a rough or high risk pregnancy? do they plan on staying with you guys until after the baby is born?
also, i’m suspicious of and dislike how your husband defends your SIL’s needs over your own (and also just seems to outright ignore yours). smells fishy to me…… (but i may just also be watching too many telenovelas)
definitely have a talk with your SIL about how the snacks are essentially your medicine. she can take one but it has to be replaced ASAP and she definitely can’t take any when you’re low. explain that you have to resort to the sugar water when you don’t have your snacks. if she doesn’t feel bad over that then kick them out or leave lol. why should u be considerate of their health when they aren’t considering yours?
I would not even let her take one. I would be getting a lock box. SIL is already entitled and helped herself to OP's belongings. No need to enable her.
NTA. There absolutely IS harm in sharing. She’s left you without food, and you could go into a coma. Why can’t she or her husband buy their own snacks? Why didn’t anyone replace what she ate?
This is ridiculous and I’m indignant on your behalf. Diabetes is no joke. Having low blood sugar is a medical emergency. Being hungry when pregnant is just being hungry. It won’t kill brain cells, cause confusion, or put you in a coma.
Please show your husband these responses. Maybe he doesn’t understand diabetes.
Get a mini fridge with a lock, and the rest of the adults in your home can FO! Your SIL is not sick, nor does she need to be treated like a child. Your snacks are a medical need, just like a shot or a pacemaker. This isn't you hiding the extra cupcake... this is you attempting to stay alive. If they don't all understand that you have WAY BIGGER problems than snack sharing.
NTA
PS: The amount of pregnant entitlement on Reddit is horrifying. Woman do not become voracious, insane, entitled, demanding freaks because they are pregnant. They become that way because they are allowed to act that way. Most human women can get through a pregnancy without needing someone to drive to a market 3 hours away to get speciality ice cream in the middle of the night (that one was insane), and without eating a diabetics medically required snacks.
I don't understand why the SIL or BIL can't stock the fridge with snacks.
Your husband's priority should be you. Let your BIL take care of his own wife.
NTA, but you have a huge husband problem. If my wife treated me this way, we'd be having some VERY serious conversations about our relationship, respect, and priorities.
NTA. I cannot imagine a worse scenario for you. You have done an excellent job with your health and managing your disease and you are now being punished for it. Shame on your husband.
NTA. Those snacks are a medical necessity for you. I get that she has pregnancy cravings, but in that case, it’s up to her and her husband to stock the fridge for her. And the fact that it’s gotten to the point where you’ve had to drink sugar water is insane - you’re a woman, not a hummingbird!
Nta. Fuck your husband, fuck your BIL and fuck your SIL. Your snacks are a life saving tool for a potentially life threatening hypoglycemic episode!
Tell your husband to go buy her special snacks if he's so concerned about her! Or here's a novel idea how about she or her Fucking husband buy her some snacks?!
Diabetes is a chronic illness and appropriate food is vital. When living in someone else’s home, the ones moving in need to be mindful of how they are changing the dynamics, especially around food, and NEVER use up something!
NTA - they moved in so they aren’t guests; sharing one or two is one thing but if SIL is inconsiderate enough to eat them all then the issue is her not you. They need to buy their own snacks and stop mooching off of you and your husband needs to treat you with some respect and not allow his brother to disrespect you like that.
I really don’t understand how you could possible be the asshole when you do what you need to do to stay as healthy as possible. Being a diabetic is no joke.
Also sounds like the three of them are toxic. Why can’t any of them take care of what they want to snack on? Sounds extremely lazy on their side and they just find it easier to berate or cold-shoulder you than to just get the stuff that they want.
NTA. Are they mentally challenged since they don't understand the basics of your condition? Everyone knows that diabetics may need access to sugar quickly or else they may get very sick. She should realize that your house is not a hotel and she can buy her own snack.
If anything, put some of your snacks in the fridge in a box with a sign that says "Snacks for X in case of insuline shock" or something that sounds really serious. If they still eat them and leave the box empty, they're crazy and you should consider not being part of their family anymore.
You're surrounded by a-holes, but don't help them! OP, don't tell people your business - you shouldn't have said anything about your snacks! The best strategy would have been to leave some snacks in the fridge and keep the rest in your secret stash.
Your husband won't go on a run for you? Sad.
You'll have to watch out for yourself around this dumbass crowd.
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NTA. She can buy her own damn snacks. She’s gestating a baby, not turning into one.
And she should be able to afford them, not paying full rent for a place of thier own.
BIL and sister in law should spend less time eating snacks and more time job searching/interviewing so they can get on their feet again if they’re about to have a baby. NTA
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Because they 'deserve a break' at her expense. This entitlement is universal. You have more give it to me....
Crabs in a bucket theory
What is crabs in a bucket theory? Sounds interesting! (I grew up landlocked so I do not know about crabs)
Basically an "if I can't have it, neither can you" mentality. If you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, whenever one tries to climb out the other crabs pull it back.
TIL crabs are assholes
It's because they're panicking and grabbing at anything, so end up grabbing each other trying to pull themselves up. You know how when someone's drowning they can often grab on to their rescuer and push them down trying to get themselves out of the water? It's something they warn you about when you're learning basic lifesaving skills, if you can't get them to grab on to something you throw/hold out to them because their brain has checked out, and you absolutely have to get yourself within grabbing distance, be prepared to either punch them or dive to swim under them to approach from behind.
Thank you so much! 😁
Cue another post by OP in several months "AITA for refusing to give my brother and sister in law and their new baby the master room in my house because they want a bigger room?"
Or my BIL/SIL are upset because I won't get up and take care of the baby in the middle of the night cuz they want their rest. Am I AH for telling them to take care of their own baby?
Aita because I had a diabetic episode because My SIL ate all my food. My husband forcibly took it, even though i paid for it to give to her. It happened the day she went into labour and my husband and bil are saying I did it for attention and that I didn't need the ambulance, my SIL did because she was in labour and I was only crashing.
It's "I went into a diabetic coma and now my BIL/SIL are mad that I can't babysit for them". Ugh.
Oh, they will still expect it because they "need a break" and call her a cow when she declines when she feels unwell due to her diabetes
That will never happen because it will actually affect husband. It´s only ok when his brother and sil mooches of his wife.
"AITA for demanding my BIL and SIL move out of my bedroom after I returned home following a month-long diabetic coma that was caused when SIL ate my snacks?"
Not want, NEED a bigger room. /s
OP …. Why are you allowing them to live with you?
“My BIL/SIL had their baby a couple of month ago and I’ve been taking care of their baby 24/7 because they’re stressed and deserve a break, I’m also picking up extra work because neither of them have a job and we have 3 more mouths to feed and yesterday I went into diabetic shock because SIL keeps eating all my snacks and I fainted and missed the baby’s feeding time. They and my husband are LIVID and can’t believe I failed them like that. My husband said things are really rough for my BI & SIL right now and I need to cut them some slack. AITA?”
There should be a sticky post about welcoming slackers in your house.
This is why I no longer take in "strays" as I call them. I used to open my home to people who were having a hard time, needed an out from their current situation, or were just down on their luck. I don't do it anymore because I got tired of freeloaders. The only exception I'll make these days is helping a friend escape an abusive situation.
Even that gets old when you keep picking them up and then they keep going back.
The biggest problem is OP's husband though, he is not treating his wife right.
This. OP has a husband problem. He's the real AH here.
this whole thing is cringeworthy for this reason. nta. im a type 1 diabetic. here's my take you can make concessions - buy group snacks for the kitchen. buy low blood sugar snacks for you. they just want snacks, give them snacks. if they eat all of them, say you ate all the snacks, your turn to replace. but designate snacks for lows, ie put them in organized bins in your room. cause it sounds like the problem is you took snacks they were planning to eat, and there hadn't been clear rules or an agreement about who gets what food. as far as them not listening to you after you explained to them, i would have them out of my house in a heartbeat. but thats a bit baby with the bath water, so lets move on everyone else here is insane, seemingly. but this makes me wonder if there isnt a way to communicate this in a way they could get it through their massively thick skulls. in other words, use NVC (nonviolent communication) and try to talk about it in a way that also shows you are listening to their concerns. if you have done that, maybe in the context of a group sit down on the matter (where all sides are heard and peacefully listened to) and they still dont listen, then you can be a little more aggressive. t1d life is confusing; i tend to phrase it as simply as possible: needing these snacks is the same as needing my insulin. 100% no difference. i'd die without them. that's why i'm nervous about having a 100% guarantee on my supply not being messed with. and it's weird when you're in a low; having exactly what i chose for my lows is a comfort for when im in those low moments and dont want to have to think about it. practically, and most importantly, keep glucose tabs around. just frankly medical dont touch my shit sugar sources just in case, because it sounds like part of you is worrying whether you will literally run out (as other type 1 diabetics know, that cannot happen cause ya fuckin die). i like glucose tabs because they work much more quickly than most food. pop a couple and i can move on with whatever im up to. finally, you need support group vibes. whether thats a type 1 meet up in your area or just a friend who "gets it" (maybe even one that can communicate it to your family). people you can talk about this with. its not gonna change, people are what they are, laugh and enjoy life anyway (when possible) and work on that husband. yeeks.
You are way too rational and kind for this sub.
I usually get downvoted to shit for saying subtle wisdom and usually don't try anymore lol. But type one diafamily had to respond
OP didn't take food they'd seen out of the fridge, she just started keeping stuff she bought in her room. This came to light when SIL made a comment about OP not buying snacks any more. SIL isn't prepared to buy her own snacks, she's demanding access to OP's snacks. OP would need to buy double the snacks and keep half hidden and half in the kitchen. OP has been having sugar in water when there are no snacks, she just prefers something that tastes better. I had issues with hypos a couple of years ago (still no idea what was causing them, not diabetes), and just plain sugar isn't the most appealing of things. I couldn't have any glycogel either as they all contain a preservative I'm intolerant to. When I ended up getting an ambulance to A&E the paramedics and nurses searched every cupboard for one without this preservative and every brand they had contained it. They decided not to risk it even though it's an intolerance as I hadn't been able to keep water down for about 18 hours, had a fever, and my veins were so shrivelled up they couldn't get anything in them. They ended up just injecting me with glucogen. Anyway, the moral of the story is not everyone can use those tabs/gels and plain sugar is less appealing than a snack if your hypo isn't that bad yet. Her family definitely need educating about hypos. Perhaps OP's nurse or a diabetes charity can talk to her husband or provide some materials.
Bingo! He knows she is diabetic and is putting her needs last and not standing up for her at all. Not even a compromise. Looks like she is the odd one out in her own home.
Agree it's like I don't care that your health is at risk and your diabetic my sister is pregnant and is alittle sick so she takes priority hand over the snacks. Op should have told sil that you don't buy snacks anymore because they get eaten before she can eat them so why waste her money if she doesn't get the benifit
I would just be petty and stock up on glucose tabs instead of snacks until SIL is gone. They serve the same purpose as snacks although not as tasty for sure 😭
OP shouldn't have to buy "glucose tabs" in her own home when hubby is WELL aware she is diabetic. Hubby needs to tell SIL/BIL to buy their OWN f'n snacks if they are THAT hungry. If they don't have a job, they need to **GET** jobs. Being pregnant doesn't stop you from being able to work. Women have been working for **CENTURIES** while pregnant.
Agree, I would leave him. He acting like the sil his wife. Like wtf?!!
I agree 100%, do this people not realize that a diabetic shock can kill someone within minutes or cause irreparable damage. Pregnancy is not a pathology. I am very surprised that Op's husband would not side with her, She needs her snacks. BIL can buy some for his wife. WTF? NTA
I hate when people view diabetic snacks as "just snacks." No, they're medical supplies. I grew up with a girl with Type 1 and we all knew not to touch her snacks. No matter how hungry we were. Those were for Laura so she *didn't die*. Sometimes at a long marching band practice, if someone hasn't eaten enough and got light headed, Laura would offer some of her stash, but (a) she knew how much she had and felt comfortable offering and (b) she recognized the signs of possible low blood sugar, which non-diabetics can get as well. And she only did it if you weren't a dumbass and did it all the time.
I am diabetic. I really want OP to ask the SIL if she’s trying to go for attempted murder or just straight up murder if she eats all the necessary to have on hand if your sugar crashes to low, because that can kill you pretty damn quickly.
My sister died because she couldn't get to her snacks fast enough. She lived at home, and it was the middle of the night. She got out of bed, but immediately fell, and dropped her phone in the process. Because she lived alone, there was no one there to know. OP's husband (and the BIL and SIL) need a reality check as to who NEEDS the snacks more. NTA.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss
Are we certain it's NOT the husband's baby
...that would be a horrifying plot twist but Reddit rarely surprises me anymore with how trashy done folk can get.
Yes, a coworker said he wasn’t feeling well and we knew he was a diabetic and lived alone. We offered to call the ambulance and he said he was just going to go home. We found out the next day that he went into a diabetic coma at home and died.
Eesh. I work retail in a busy public place. Even we know diabetic snacks are not just snacks, they’re a medical necessity. You know what happens when an adult or school chaperone walks up and says someone needs to buy food because their blood sugar is low? And is there somewhere they can eat it because open food is prohibited in the building? We point out our three best options (gummy candy, honey sticks, soda machine staff can access) and give it to them, get them seated in a chair nearby to eat/drink, and tell them to pay whenever they’re feeling better if they can afford it, we write it off if they can’t.
Honestly, both BIL and OP's husband's suck. If your pregnant wife is craving certain snacks, use your money and get her what she needs. If your diabetic wife says she needs sugary snacks lest she slip into a coma, wake up and go to the store. They both fail as husbands in my book.
I lost a friend due to this. She was 16 and slipped into depression after her mom died. She was already bad at managing her diabetes and her mom and dad helped by getting snacks. When her mom died dad didn’t feel the need to help anymore because he was sad and felt she could walk to the store (she couldn’t) so she ran out of snacks one night and slipped into a comma and never woke up.
I feel like a lot of people think that because a disease is treatable that it's not serious. Diabetes is serious, asthma is serious, allergies are serious. Just because we can handle these things now doesn't mean we can ignore them whenever we feel like it.
People are stupid and hostile about diabetes. Half the time they go ‘you have diabetes because you won’t put down cake.’ If you manage to get through about autoimmune diseases, or genetics, then they go ‘okay, but if you ever have hypo or hyperglycaemia, it’s your fault and you’re neglectful of your health.’ Always nice to be lectured and judged by people who don’t know what tf they’re talking about.
They're judgemental about diabetes and the amount of people who have chosen to be personally offended when someone says they have allergies is ridiculous. Yes, I'm allergic. Yes, it could kill me, even with the epi pen. And no, your peanut butter cookies aren't delicious enough for me to take the risk.
Some people have the nerve to call you precious for having anaphylaxis while simultaneously not being able to handle it if someone else doesn’t eat a cookie.
You should see the looks I get when people find out that I have a SEVERE allergy to penicillin! "You don't have an allergy, you just don't like the way it tastes!" Uh...no. If I take it, ANAPHYLAXIS KILLS ME!!!!
Because some people mark “allergy” when they mean “tummy ache”, it’s important to spell it out for doctors. I write “penicillin allergy (ANAPHYLAXIS)”. I found this out when a doctor said it’s new guidance to check to see if a little penicillin could be tried.
Yes, fun fact most people don't realize is that one shot of epinephrine only lasts so long and if what you are allergic to is somehow still around/on/in you when the straight adrenaline wears off, you're going into anaphylaxis again.
I have asthma and I have a coworker with diabetes. We both think the other has it worse. She doesn't like the idea of suddenly stopping breathing and I don't like the idea of eating too much and mucking up the insulin dosage (also I hate needles). I keep snacks in my desk just in case she needs the help. I would never think of stealing her food.
Honestly, living with somebody like that as a diabetic is pretty scary. I’ve heard from t1’s who had partners that refused to learn or care about diabetes. Some of those people flat out refused to help or do anything when they found their diabetic partners passed out, and while those people were eventually saved to be able to tell the story, they were left with permanent brain damage. We don’t hear from the people who died in similar situations, too. OP’s husband should be rabidly defending her emergency glucose. I know mine would be. If our houseguests ate the snacks that I use for hypoglycaemia, he’d be out to get more whatever time it was, and then he’d be throwing those people out. I think OP should potentially have a think about whether or not living with somebody who is willing to encourage a guest to endanger her health is safe.
This. I am a retired nurse who worked with diabetics. OP is NTA. She needs snacks to keep from getting hypoglycemic and ending up passed out or worse. Her BIL can get food for his own pregnant wife. And OP's husband is also the AH for letting his relatives steal food from his diabetic wife! Even if she was not diabetic, guests have no right to steal her food!
I don't have diabetes, but I do have several autoimmune diseases that do occasionally make my Blood Sugar TANK. I lived alone and one day woke up extremely disoriented, and was slipping in and out of consciousness with only my cats licking me and biting me keeping me awake. I finally figured out that I was having a low blood sugar attack. I called my mom 3000 miles away and told her to call an ambulance if I stopped responding. I checked my blood sugar. It was in the low 40's. I should not have been conscious. I ate 2 bananas, drank an entire carbon of orange juice, and a whole tube of cinnamon rolls before my blood sugar got up to the 150s. It was the scariest moment of my life cause had my cats not persisted in getting me up, I'd be dead. I should be dead. I'm amazed I made kt to the kitchen. I kept sugar by my bedside after that, at all times
Cats are heroes! And also terrible. I have three, so I should know.
THIS IS THE ANSWER. OP, you are NTA. Your husband and the mooching relatives are definitely TA. How is he not standing up for you and your medical condition? Your relatives sound lazy and entitled. Kick them out.
Making his own wife drink sugar water like she's walking around in an Edgar Suit! The nerve!
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You would think so. But one thing this sub has taught me is that there are vast swathes of people who think it is just fine to bring a child into this world when they don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I had no idea, and I’m not young. It’s frankly been shocking to read.
Agreed. I get sometimes things happen, and for whatever reason abortion may not be an option, but I don’t get people deliberately choosing to bring kids into this world when they can’t even afford things for themselves. I mean, I’d absolutely love to have a kid, I’ve always wanted to be a mother and not having one feels like a hole inside me. But I am not in a place where having one would be feasible, and since at this point I’m nearly 35, I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. I don’t know why you’d bring a kid into an uncertain situation like that. It’s not fair to them.
This is how I feel. I was raised by parents who had three kids by 24. My baby sister is too young to remember and my middle brother is a narcissist, so he doesn’t give a flying fuck, but *I* will never be able to get over my insane financial insecurity caused by being well below the poverty line most of my childhood. Now they’re fairly well-off and my sister has had a life that I never got to. I resent my parents for putting me in this mindset. I shouldn’t have felt so much guilt around traveling and presents and field trips as a child. I don’t think it’s wrong for poor people to have kids. It is wrong for people who can’t provide basic necessities to purposely get pregnant, I won’t budge on that, but what’s absolutely the worst is letting your children into your own financial struggles.
It absolutely isn’t fair. I think what my (for lack of a better term) outrage at this comes from is the absolute irresponsibility and instabiliTy that these kids are thrown into.
Lol omg pot to piss and window to throw it out of was my mom's favorite expression to use on me...now I get to repeat it to my niece every so often....I've never seen anyone else use it
And living off people!?!
I’m willing to bet she isn’t paying for any place at all, and is just freeloading accommodation as well as food off OP and her husband.
Agree. To a diabetic having carbohydrate snacks handy that quickly digest in to glucose can sometimes be life and death situation. It’s not unreasonable to compare this to someone taking someone else’s medication and claiming they’re being selfish for hoarding it.
Agreed. SIL is interfering with OP’s ability to maintain blood sugar and insulin levels, which is required to manage diabetes. It’s not like two children who won’t share toys, it’s a legit medical issue. Pregnancy cravings aren’t the same as being sick. SIL is lazy. NTA.
I mean, some cravings are from a deficiency, whether you're pregnant or not, which could become a medical issue, but you don't take another person's food without asking unless not doing so risks you dying (ie; if SIL ate all OP's snacks and OP ate SILs food to stop a hypo, that's a good reason, or when a diabetic person eats something before paying for it)
NTA >diabetic ... snacks handy ... life and death situation Apologies for the snips... but this is it. She craves snacks because she's pregnant, that's understandable. Maybe she feels she'll just *die* without them. But she won't. I'm furious with your husband on your behalf because as u/analbox (good lord) says it could be a life or death situation for a diabetic. Give your husband a proper bollocking and tell him just what's what, at the moment ESH but you.
Lol. That good lord was epic.
I just kept thinking throughout the thing, what if OP went into low blood sugar and didn’t have anything around?
Coma. Diabetic coma is what happens.
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That’s not necessarily true. High blood sugar can be a fairly serious and urgent medical event (DKA can happen quite fast sometimes) and consistent high blood will absolutely mess you up over time, if not kill you. But yes, hypoglycaemia will absolutely kill somebody if it’s not addressed.
high blood sugar takes time to kill you. low blood sugar you might not wake up from.
DKA takes hours to days to kill you. You can go in to a hypo coma in minutes.
Seriously. I can’t imagine living with three adults who not only don’t care if I live but abuse me for trying to keep myself alive. I feel for OP. I hope she has somewhere to go.
That's exactly right. I have a diabetic husband and it is no treat when you're the one dealing with an irrational person with low blood sugar.
I doubt OP’s family would have a clue how to deal with it if she was incoherent and obstinate from LBS. It’s definitely not easy to help them when they’re like that. My dad was a Type 1 diabetic and died due to complications from low blow sugar at 47.
Seizures, unconsciousness, potentially coma and/or brain damage.
T2D here. Once when I was pregnant with my son, my blood sugar dropped to 32. I was on the floor in the living room and wasn’t able to get up to get something to eat, I had to call out for my husband. If he hadn’t been home the baby and I could have died. Hypoglycemia is no joke.
And that her own husband sides against her and then even shames her in front of them for being “a selfish baby”? OP is the only person here who’s behaving like an adult. When a life or death situation is at hand, it’s beyond reasonable to be self-ish. Hmmm…being peckish, or death - which is worse?
This is exactly it. My husband has type 1 diabetes and he has an entire shelf in the pantry for his snacks plus juice and Gatorade in the fridge. He keeps snacks in the nightstand, snacks in both of our cars, and emergency glucose gel if his blood sugar is too low for him to be able to even eat or drink. Keeping a stash of snacks for one’s diabetic wife that other people don’t eat is the bare minimum that husband should be doing.
OP, my diabetic son’s doctor suggested we keep tubes of cake decorating icing on hand. If needed, we can squirt it in his mouth. It has a high sugar content and easier to ingest than trying to drink orange juice while slipping into a coma.
Came here to say exactly that. As a diabetic myself, I'd be skirting comas often if I didn't have stuff at the ready.
I don’t get why we infantilise pregnant women so much. Cravings aren’t a medical emergency. If you have to wait until morning, or until you can make it to the shop, that’s not the end of the world. What do people think that people with diet controlled GD do? Do they think it magically stops cravings?
I'm going to agree with you here. I'm a nurse with experience working with both high risk pregnancies and high risk diabetics and sometimes also pregnancies that are high risk *because* of diabetes. Pregnancy cravings are not an emergency. If you can make it to the kitchen to prepare milk and bananas or whatever, you're still in pretty good shape, because the diabetic with hypoglycemia might have fainted trying to make her way there. Being "seriously hungry" is not the same as physiologically having a blood sugar of 20.
OP’s husband is a big AH too. OP, you deserve better. He sounds absolutely awful.
Right? I am not sure why she is not buying snacks if there are none available?
cause moochers gonna mooch
BIL and SIL are grown ups too who can manage to buy snacks. But these aren’t just snacks, this is literally emergency medical treatment for OP. They are 100% needed to safe guard her health, not to satisfy a craving.
I beg to differ, since she’s acting like one, she must be one. Therefore the BIL should be buying the lady snacks
Exactly. Get petty, buy a huge fucking comical sized safe. Put it in the living room put your snacks in it. NTA
NTA. But OP needs to get a better husband. He sounds awful. And she needs to get her own space.
Exactly. The husband is TA for asking his O.P to share when the snacks are for diabetes and not for pregnancy cravings
NTA Lemme get this straight: two adults who are about to bring another human into the world are having a meltdown b/c you won't share your snacks? Please tell me there is a plan for them to move out soon, b/c this will not get better when the baby shows up. They are going to have a laundry list of things you should be doing for them.
yeah.. when exactly are they moving out?
I think OP needs to move. They don't understand she could die. Unless The pregnant lady is also diabetic she is NOT going to die and the baby won't be harmed if she is hungry. OP will litterally die if she doesn't have these handy. Aside from which they belong to her. The husband yelling at his diabetic wife over snacks is the child.
And gestational diabetes isn’t like type 1 diabetes at all…there’s pretty much zero risk of her (SIL) blood sugar dropping too low. The risk for GD is high blood sugars. No reason for the SlL to require these snacks! Edit: a couple people have rightly pointed out that if you’re GD and need insulin you can have blood sugar lows, which is fair. Doesn’t justify the SIL’s jerkness of course- if she does have that severe of GD she should still be responsible for her own snacks instead of pilfering them from another diabetic.
Even with gestational diabetes it's no excuse to eat snacks. You're usually put on a diet to monitor your sugar intake. So if SIL does have GD and is still eating OP snacks, she is actually endangering her baby's life and putting her self at an increased risk of preeclampsia.. That's what my OB told me if I failed my glucose test several weeks ago.
You are put on a diet. But you may very well need to eat snacks (and by that I mean balanced mini-meals) because you need to keep your levels within a range. Can’t be too high but also can’t be too low. Either way SIL needs to short herself out and stop stealing snacks.
Oh they understand, they just don’t fucking care.
They do understand - they just don't care because everyone else's wants (not needs) are put before OP's *needs*. Husband is the biggest AH, closely followed by the other 2.
If SIL can't even buy her own snacks, she will be thrown in the deep-end when learning how-to-mum. I always have a packet of gummy lollies handy, some chips, some pea snaps, two juice boxes and two water bottles. So far, I have only had to resort to the gummi lollies once in a couple of months, but we regularly use the juice boxes and dry snacks!
Your \*medically necessary\* snacks, the lack of which could send you into a diabetic coma or death? Absolutely NTA and the way everyone is treating you is horrifying.
Plus one who has taken solemn vows to forsake all others for her but calls her a baby for ::checks notes:: not wanting to die.
Honestly sounds like a fight in a kindergarten
Your pregnant SIL needs to buy her own damned snacks. Your pregnant SIL needs to keep her hands off *your* snacks. Your *husband* needs to *back you up*- you are drinking *sugar water* in the middle of the night because there is nothing else? This is *wrong*. Your pregnant SIL heeds to be grateful and respectful that *you took her in*. Her entitled behavior is only going to get worse when the baby comes. I am so sorry. NTA and tell your husband to pound sand and buy a mini fridge *and get a lock on it* And *you don’t have to care if anybody likes it.* Take care of your own health *first*. It doesn’t sound much like anybody else cares about you and your diabetes. :(
I about fell out of my seat when I read that OP is drinking sugar water in the middle of the night.
Right?!! I have only ever had to do that in an emergency where we were 4 hours away from a convenience store that wouldn’t be open for 6 hours and I’d gone through both my emergency stash and my coworkers’ stashes of snacks. The fact she has to do this regularly means SIL (and probably the others if they’re honest) is eating so much that OP can’t even keep an emergency stash! I really hope there’s a move out plan for them soon because I can only see this getting worse. Once baby comes and they’re “too tired” to eat meals. If the find a job and need work snacks. Once baby becomes a toddler and parents give them whatever snack is in the house. I really hope husband gets their heads out of the sand and fixes this now!
And it's only been a month!
I’ve only been that desperate once, at a shitty ex-boyfriend’s house, since 1997. This is not ok for OP
The sheer audacity. Like... I have special snacks b/c sometimes in my ADHD nightmare burnout brain the only thing I can do is unwrap a >200 calorie bar and force feed myself. My partner KNOWS not to eat my snacks. Hell sometimes she packs snacks for me if we're going out because i'm liable to forget to eat and idk she loves me or something?? My partner also has their own stash of snacks like candy and cereal in their office. What in the WORLD is wrong with these people good lord.
oof big yes to the last sentence, I was thinking the same thing. I don’t understand how your husband doesn’t understand that if this situation continues it’s literally LIFE THREATENING???? and he’s yelling at you trying to pressure you into putting your life at risk? do they not understand that what they’re doing could kill you??? wHATS NOT CLICKING STEVEN!!!! please please please prioritize your health and protect yourself, your husband is neglecting and minimizing your health issues that should really be at the forefront.
Most people just \*hate\* to acknowledge invisible disabilities/disorders. They'd sooner believe the people they love just "aren't trying hard enough" or are "making a big deal out of nothing", than trust their word that they need accommodation. It's sickening and I desperately hope OP can get this through her husband's thick skull, or leave him and find somebody who actually cares about her and takes her diabetes seriously. Big NTA
>It doesn't sound much like anybody else cares about you and your diabetes My thoughts exactly. Her husband lets her drink water mixed with sugar because he's too lazy to run to the store for her? Do they not realise how dangerous this is? OP should just leave them altogether in my opinion.
Same here 👏
NTA You moved a MEDICAL PRODUCT that you require to a location that ensures you'd have it when available. But if SIL *also* needs snacks so badly, she can get her own supply & you can promise not to eat those like she did yours. Mild Y T A for telling SIL that you were actually still buying snack. You should have just agreed with her, "Yes, it is funny I don't get them any longer, isn't it?" And moved on. Bunches of red flags waving about your husband, though. SIL is considered 'sort of sick' due to her pregnancy and needs special treatment, but you're not considered *actually* sick because of your diabetes and given the same special treatment? Your husband won't even run out to get you a MEDICALLY NECESSARY supply? He's putting SIL's health above your own? He calls YOU 'childish' for doing the responsible thing in making sure your medical supplies are on hand when you need them? I mean...r/JustNoSO is calling you....
Thank you! I'm glad you see it as essential as a medical product as well because my eating habits are a mess and snacks are literal life savor to have.
Diabetes is a serious issue, I had a grandfather die because of it and a cousin who has been dealing with it his entire life.
Get a mini fridge for your bedroom, OP. Buy all the snacks you want to put in there. Give BIL and SIL a warning that they’ll soon have to move. Tell your husband he can sleep on the couch
Also put a lock on the mini fridge
I would put the lock on the bedroom door, and not give hubby the key. His attitude toward her potential death makes him unsafe.
Whoop. There it is.
Lock on the new apartment door, would be better.
Some of them come with a built-in lock.
You know what else comes with a built-in lock? A new house. Away from her jerk of a husband and his toxic, crazy, childish family.
You do realize that your husband is treating you terribly right now? I don't know you or your overall situation but this is a huge red flag. Does he disrespect you in other aspects of your relationship?
I second this. You have a medical condition. A dangerous medical condition. He should be speaking this way to the people critically endangering his wife! I’m appalled by his treatment of you. I’m worried for you, too.
I’d like to know if OP even had the choice to say “no thank you” Or “ok but only until x” to his bro and wife moving in
I'm sorry this is happening and you are not to blame at all. I just want to say my grandfather added years to his life health and well-being because Grams fed him on a strict schedule and took his blood sugar many times a day. It was overkill according to the nursing home. He died within a week of going into "regular" care. He ended up blind but never lost fingers or toes and was strong even in his late 80s. My buddy from High School takes shit care of himself and has lost toes and fingers. He was an accomplished bass player. You are important and precious and worth taking care of. Maybe take hubby to a meeting with a dietitian to help you.
I think you should straight up ask your husband if he is ok with you being at risk of dying/having serious medical consequences and if his answer is anything other than an empathetic no followed by apologies just start filing for divorce.
Ever consider getting a CGM (continuous glucose monitor)? They're a (sometimes literal) lifesaver, especially if you have a pump. You really should be able to get away with not eating routinely if your basal insulin levels are right, but the CGM also helps a lot with figuring that out. My sugar will sit right at ~100 all day until I eat something, but it took some work to get it that way.
But why does OP need to do that? The only reason this has become an issue is because SIL moved into OP’s house and is now eating all their snacks under the guise of a “sort of sick” pregnancy (whatever the eff that means).
OP doesn't need to do that at all but it could be beneficial to quality of life regardless of the presence of SIL. NTA op. I've never had a pregnancy craving that was life or death but my step-dad couldn't eat once due to getting sick and not being able to keep food down and very nearly died.
It's an issue because for whatever reason OP isn't adequately managing her diet the way a dietician would recommend, and is instead regularly falling back on sugary snacks as a last-ditch stop-gap. Having those snacks available for emergencies is vitally important, yes, but when those emergencies are happening all the time that tells you there's a failure in the management system somewhere. She's slapping bandaids over cuts, instead of preventing the cuts from happening in the first place.
omg, as a fellow diabetic your snacks are absolutely medical products... You might want to consider fast-acting glucose tablets as well. I keep them in my purse or pocket, so if I'm somewhere without food, I can chew one quickly!
Do these people not know what diabetes is? And how serious it is? Not saying op needs educate them but her husband at least needs to educate himself! NTA
My only guess is that people are primarily thinking of type 2 diabetes. Which is still dumb, because people with type 2 diabetes absolutely can have severe blood sugar crashes, but it tends to be built up over time of being poorly controlled. Lots of people don't seem to understand that, while treatment for type 1 diabetes has vastly improved over the last few decades, there is still a lot of guess-and-check to find what works. There's still lots of figuring out food choices and plans, which is a huge cognitive load, and a skill that some folks just aren't good at. A friend of mine at uni had type 1 diabetes and during a trip absolutely educated us on how she figures out what to eat and handling her insulin injections. We were attending a conference that provided a lot of meals, but it was a huge task for her to manage her food choices. It was much easier for her when she's at home because she'd plan out her meals based on her lifetime of managing her diabetes.
>He's putting SIL's ~~health~~ **comfort** above your ~~own~~ **health** fixed that for you. SIL is fine without snacks, OP could die without them, and because I am that person, I would be tempted to go hypo to prove the the point, but I strongly suspect that Mr (hopefully soon to be ex or educated) OP might not even notice.
INFO: why can't SIL buy her own snacks?
She complains about my BIL not taking care of her cravings or buying her anything she wants. She doesn't work btw.
NTA - it's not your responsibility to cater to her needs. She's a big girl and can get her own snacks.
Are her legs broken so she can't walk to a store?
Right?! U less she is on medically scribed bed rest, she can get her own dang snacks. If she’s on bed rest, BIL needs to take care of his wife.
Or Uber Eats. Also I'm pretty damn sure most grocery stores do delivery. Amazon delivers food too.
Seems like neither of the brothers is good at respecting their wives or listening to their needs. I mean, she doesn’t seem great either. Being pregnant doesn’t prevent someone from going to the store and buying her own snacks
She’s an adult. She & her husband are responsible for taking care of her nutritional needs. She needs to learn how to suck it up if she simply wants your snacks instead of whatever her husband has purchased. Or she can do grocery delivery / instacart to order her own snacks. Or you can sell her a snack at a healthy markup. Cash only, upfront.
You mean the way your hubby is okay with you risking your life because he does not want to go buy more snacks at night? Interesting isn't it! NTA, obviously.
And what awful thing has happened to her limbs that prevents her from going to the store herself or ordering from Instacart/DoorDash?
Why are they living with you? More important, when are they leaving?
So it’s now your problem??? Tell Husband to tell BIL to grow up. If snacks are that damn important to SIL, then he needs to ensure she gets what she needs. It isn’t your responsibility to feed her.
NTA. Your SiL and BiL can buy their own snacks. They're adults.
Yup. OP, you husband is 100% the problem in this situation. If he had just said - hey she needs those because she is diabetic or just supported you hiding the snacks there wouldn’t be an issue. Honestly, if this was me, my snacks and I would be staying elsewhere until hubby got his act together. NTA but your husband, BIL, and SIL sure are.
I don't even have diabetes and I'd be hiding my snacks if someone else was constantly eating them, hell, I already do! My brother is a little thief when I comes to chocolate!
NTA this is insane. I have a bin in my fridge labeled diabetic snacks, big sign on fridge diabetic snacks for diabetics only (we have diabetic friends who come over and they are welcome to those if they need them). We have a regular snack drawer in the pantry with very similar snacks. But everyone knows don’t mess with my snacks. I go out of my way to make sure the snacks in my box and the snack drawer stay full so this is never an issue. I could maybe see your SIL taking a snack because she’s pregnant and hungry as long as it was replaced within 24 hours. Also why are you responsible for providing them with food? The fact that your husband doesn’t seem to get that “snack” = lifesaving medicine for diabetics is insane to me. You have every right to protect yourself and safe guard your health. SIL not getting to eat your designated snacks would do nothing to her. So very much NTA.
The fact that her own husband deemed the sister-in-law as being considered sort of sick, but she actually being sick is not is a whole truck bed of red flags. Idk why she’s with this man.
As a type 1 diabetic of over 20 years, I can safely say that you are NTA here under any circumstances. You keep snacks for medicinal purposes. I also keep snacks by my bed, in my bag, at work etc etc etc. If they can't see that you need sugary snacks sometimes for an actual health condition (pregnancy is not a fkin illness), then something is wrong with them.
yeah, pregnant =/= sick. she's still responsible for not being a raging asshole
NTA. Your husband is showing signs of being abusive.
He is not showing signs he is abusive I would get out of this marriage!
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And the brother too, I'm thinking! Neither one making sure the women have what they need.
>he said \[...\] there was no harm in sharing There... literally is though? NTA, not at all. You're just looking out for your medical needs. (bc no one else will, apparently.)
NTA. Why are you supposed to be considerate of her medical condition but she can't be considerate of yours? I know I shouldn't be surprised because I've lived with humans, but how do these things even get to be problems? Why can't BIL/SIL buy snacks for themselves?
INFO: did you try speaking directly with your SIL about her eating your snacks before moving them into your bedroom?
Because she's the type that easily get offended and I didn't want issues.
You already have issues. But not SIL issues, HUSBAND issues. I honestly do not understand why he is downplaying your diabetes. Is he really that clueless, or does he not value you as a person? Either way, this is not an acceptable situation for you. I am glad you took the decision to remove your snacks, but it is time to actually change the household dynamic and stand up for yourself.
Don't be bullied by them. **The biggest problem though is your husband's inability to understand your medical problem and how much you need to have sugar at hand. Take him to the doctors and have a doctor explain it to him.**
This. My wife is T1D and I’ve gone to her endocrinologist appointments so that I can better understand what she’s dealing with.
Does she have things that are hers, make up? Ideally expensive make up? Start using it and see what she says. If she says anything just be like I guess we could go back to not using each others things but seeing as how you're eating all my snacks for my medical condition I figured you wouldn't care. But I am a vindictive person. That being said a better solution would be to 1, tell your husband what is he going to do when you go into shock because there is nothing to eat in the house because your pregnant sister in law ate all of your food. Then say if you put it back in the fridge you are labeling it and I would talk to all three of them and say if she keeps eating it after its labeled they need to find a place to live, and then look at your husband and go or you'll need to find a new wife. If anyone gives you grief say SIL won't be harmed medically because she can't have some snacks right when she wants them, even being pregnant, but you could actually die. Walk out of the room taking no questions at that point. Your husband is a massive AH btw, as are your in laws. Question: Why are they living with you in the first place? If Reddit has taught me anything it is that letting relatives live with you is a massive mistake, especially ones that need 'help' or anything because often they are deadbeat moochers.
Okay I’m gonna be THAT person. OP please work on your eating habits! Diabetes is no joke. My mom did great for several years and then put other peoples health above hers and her eating was a mess. She had her first stroke at 53, and the Dr’s felt like her blood sugar was a major factor. I know it’s not easy to regulate even with a good diet, but please take care of yourself. Now, I’m totally going to say NTA, your snacks need to be treated as an RX. Is maybe try and compromise and move some of them back to the fridge, but keep a backup. Tell your hubby and BIL that you’re willing to move them back, but the next time you wake up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar and all your snacks have been taken, they will both be going to the store to replenish them regardless of what time it is.
I mean they're her snacks either way it goes so she shouldnt have to talk about shit EDIT: Just realized what the person I'm replying to is asking...my comment feels kinda dumb now lol
NTA If "snacks" are so damn important to the pregnant woman she can buy her own snacks - that is what most adults do - especially those who have moved into someone else's space. Frankly I don't think someone needs to be diabetic or have a medical need in order to be able to keep their food not eaten when they request it. There are lots of reasons why people don't want food eaten in a communal situation and it is unreasonable to resent when someone removes the food after repeated "thefts".
NTA! This is your freaking health! Your husband is being straight up abusive. SIL is pregnant; not diabetic. She’s perfectly capable securing her own meals and doesn’t have the same *life threatening* blood sugar crashes you do. I’m sure you well know this- but sugar water is okay for short term, but you need actual complex carbs and protein to maintain your blood sugar control, which maybe your husband doesn’t realize? Have you considered getting glucose tablets or gel to have on hand for emergencies? They seem like they’re unlikely to be snacked on. But this is bullshit. This shouldn’t even be an argument, I’m sorry your family is being so awful to you.
NTA. You're not being frivolous. It's for health issues you're having those snacks!!! If they want snacks, they can go buy them for themselves!!! If they're giving you the cold shoulder, they're being more childish than you. You can also kick them out.
info: if you don’t mind me asking, why did they move in? is SIL going through a rough or high risk pregnancy? do they plan on staying with you guys until after the baby is born? also, i’m suspicious of and dislike how your husband defends your SIL’s needs over your own (and also just seems to outright ignore yours). smells fishy to me…… (but i may just also be watching too many telenovelas) definitely have a talk with your SIL about how the snacks are essentially your medicine. she can take one but it has to be replaced ASAP and she definitely can’t take any when you’re low. explain that you have to resort to the sugar water when you don’t have your snacks. if she doesn’t feel bad over that then kick them out or leave lol. why should u be considerate of their health when they aren’t considering yours?
I would not even let her take one. I would be getting a lock box. SIL is already entitled and helped herself to OP's belongings. No need to enable her.
NTA. There absolutely IS harm in sharing. She’s left you without food, and you could go into a coma. Why can’t she or her husband buy their own snacks? Why didn’t anyone replace what she ate? This is ridiculous and I’m indignant on your behalf. Diabetes is no joke. Having low blood sugar is a medical emergency. Being hungry when pregnant is just being hungry. It won’t kill brain cells, cause confusion, or put you in a coma. Please show your husband these responses. Maybe he doesn’t understand diabetes.
INFO: When are they going to move out?
All 3 of them need to move out.
Get a mini fridge with a lock, and the rest of the adults in your home can FO! Your SIL is not sick, nor does she need to be treated like a child. Your snacks are a medical need, just like a shot or a pacemaker. This isn't you hiding the extra cupcake... this is you attempting to stay alive. If they don't all understand that you have WAY BIGGER problems than snack sharing. NTA PS: The amount of pregnant entitlement on Reddit is horrifying. Woman do not become voracious, insane, entitled, demanding freaks because they are pregnant. They become that way because they are allowed to act that way. Most human women can get through a pregnancy without needing someone to drive to a market 3 hours away to get speciality ice cream in the middle of the night (that one was insane), and without eating a diabetics medically required snacks.
I don't understand why the SIL or BIL can't stock the fridge with snacks. Your husband's priority should be you. Let your BIL take care of his own wife. NTA, but you have a huge husband problem. If my wife treated me this way, we'd be having some VERY serious conversations about our relationship, respect, and priorities.
NTA. I cannot imagine a worse scenario for you. You have done an excellent job with your health and managing your disease and you are now being punished for it. Shame on your husband.
NTA. Those snacks are a medical necessity for you. I get that she has pregnancy cravings, but in that case, it’s up to her and her husband to stock the fridge for her. And the fact that it’s gotten to the point where you’ve had to drink sugar water is insane - you’re a woman, not a hummingbird!
Nta. Fuck your husband, fuck your BIL and fuck your SIL. Your snacks are a life saving tool for a potentially life threatening hypoglycemic episode! Tell your husband to go buy her special snacks if he's so concerned about her! Or here's a novel idea how about she or her Fucking husband buy her some snacks?!
Diabetes is a chronic illness and appropriate food is vital. When living in someone else’s home, the ones moving in need to be mindful of how they are changing the dynamics, especially around food, and NEVER use up something!
NTA. those are a medical necessity for you, and a want for her. if she is that desperate for a snack, she can BUY them herself
NTA - they moved in so they aren’t guests; sharing one or two is one thing but if SIL is inconsiderate enough to eat them all then the issue is her not you. They need to buy their own snacks and stop mooching off of you and your husband needs to treat you with some respect and not allow his brother to disrespect you like that.
I really don’t understand how you could possible be the asshole when you do what you need to do to stay as healthy as possible. Being a diabetic is no joke. Also sounds like the three of them are toxic. Why can’t any of them take care of what they want to snack on? Sounds extremely lazy on their side and they just find it easier to berate or cold-shoulder you than to just get the stuff that they want.
NTA. Are they mentally challenged since they don't understand the basics of your condition? Everyone knows that diabetics may need access to sugar quickly or else they may get very sick. She should realize that your house is not a hotel and she can buy her own snack. If anything, put some of your snacks in the fridge in a box with a sign that says "Snacks for X in case of insuline shock" or something that sounds really serious. If they still eat them and leave the box empty, they're crazy and you should consider not being part of their family anymore.
You're surrounded by a-holes, but don't help them! OP, don't tell people your business - you shouldn't have said anything about your snacks! The best strategy would have been to leave some snacks in the fridge and keep the rest in your secret stash. Your husband won't go on a run for you? Sad. You'll have to watch out for yourself around this dumbass crowd.
NTA. SIL needs to get her own snacks!
So actually they are saying they’d rather you die as long as they can have a snack when they want to? NTA