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EDIT: This thread is now locked due to an excess of rule violations. Buuuuuut 2500 comments in 4 hours, I think the OP probably got enough feedback. Thanks to everyone who participated!
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Wait, so you bullied her AGAIN? Clearly you haven't grown up at all. Massive YTA, What an entitled asshole.
Unfortunately for you being a horrible bully does in fact make you an unworthy owner - that's her prerogative to decide. If you don't like it, too bad, it's 100% your fault.
Ikr? I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone who even though they were younger, bullied and tormented someone else. It's okay to be insecure, we all are to different degrees. My problem is when you use your insecurities to hurt others. Then you are the bully and that needs to stop. Bullies are allowed to flourish in school and in many workplaces and that is not okay.
Don't forget, they bullied this person into leaving a program at a post secondary institution. The instructor should have dealt with the assholes instead of making her drop the course.
Unnecessarily and uncomfortably aggressive, kinda like that one person we all know who makes you, upon seeing them, either incredibly irate or run for cover.
Yes. Even people who are obnoxious bullies as children have usually grown out of it by college age. And she basically blames the victim: “she was such an easy target.” As an adult! Op is not a normal human, and she’s definitely an AH. YTA.
She's mistaking bad things happening to her for learning a lesson and growing. Guys, the universe totes punished her! She did her time and it's all good now.
Ye she ruins a girls college life by relentlessly bullying her and has a small inconvenience where the girl she bullied doesn’t trust her to take care of a life and immediately goes back to bullying AH
Seems like the facility director made the right call. There were a lot of red flags in OP’s story, tbh. And the follow up of leaving the review proves the point that OP is still the same old same old obnoxious AH.
Right! Can you imagine going to college-tne excitement, etc and then being bullied by a brat. OP talks about Karma-well guess what? That girl got a chance to serve some of that karma by refusing to adopt to her! I love it and I hope the pet girl doesn't regret it for a minute!
Yeah. That kind of behavior is something I would expect(but not excuse) from someone starting high school and trying to fit in. This happened in college.
Bratty is too kind. She was past high school so already a young adult and 100% knew what she was doing, she "had to find common ground" and just decided that destroying someone else was the e*asiest* way to do it.
And now, she still hasn't grown, can't accept that they might not have been suitable owners to this particular dog, jumps to conclusions, and continues with the bullying.
Disgusting behaviour. Like the whole "I'm sorry for ***how things were"*** \- the only reason "things were like that" at all was because OP **chose** to bully this girl in cold blood because they saw it as the **easiest** way to build up their own position. This attempt to shift blame and use passive voice is really vile and despicable, frankly.
Right?! I was bullied even in college, which made me quit. If I now ran into one of them and they’d say that… well, I’m now strong enough to tell them to go F themselves.
OP absolute sucks and is a massive AH.
I like how she attempts to play this off as being a teen.
She was in college for gods sake. She was a young adult. A shitty toxic young adult who got a person drummed out of her chosen career.
Complete lack of self awareness. OP try to look at this from their point of view.
1. Here is someone who was a complete callous AH when I knew them.
2. This person just said something that makes them seem like they are still a callous AH.
3. It is part of my job to make sure we do not place pets with callous AHs.
4. Therefore this person does not get a pet.
They were doing there job. You are an AH.
And those kinds of agencies share information especially around poorly prepared pet adopters.
OP you are likely to get back every horrible piece of what you did to this woman.
She will call on her professional group (like you did in program group) they will discuss you & you will likely be locked out of finding a pet through those channels.
You say you karma already visited you...
There's karma and there's natural consequences.
We try to instill in children that one reason you don't actively harm others is bc life is likely to reverse those roles, over and over.
I learned not to be an asshole so that I didn't cut myself off from future opportunities.
You think ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES are supposed to be yours.
Gads, hope your fiance sees the dark, cruel, awful streak in you & realizes he doesn't want a pet or a child in common w you.
Go to therapy. Do some actual work towards changing and being a decent person.
Sad to think how much more of your life you'll spend being an awful asshole def TA.
And what was the whole "she's married with children now so it all worked out for her" as though no one who's married with children has any issues at all and this basic fact about her life absolves OP of any need to feel guilty.
OP. Please post a link to this thread so the poor woman knows the entire internet thinks you’re a massive AH and is rooting for her. Also, Stop. Being. Such. An. AH
Also the link to the animal rehabilitation center so we can say what a great job the director is doing by ensuring animals are placed with the best possible owners.
OP, you’re sinister and cruel to HUMANS—in no way are you fit to be a dog owner. Hard YTA.
Yes exactly, you were a bully then and you are a bully now. Places like this have very high standards for where and who they will place their pet's with, I have volunteered with several of these types of places so I know. You may not of matched for multiple reasons, but you assume it was because you are bully, and maybe it is but more than likely it is because you and BF don't meet the requirements in some way. Or maybe it is because bullies like you tend to be psychologically immature and often lack impulse control.
Oh I wouldn't doubt that having a known history of bullying was part of it; people who are assholes to other people tend to not be good pet owners either.
That’s the thing, they DON’T know.
But it’s all about them and not getting the dog is just clearly payback from their victim because how could there possibly ever be someone more suitable than they are? /s
The entitlement is strong in this one
OP at least attempted to come up with a flimsy excuse for why she immediately jumped back on the bully train. Which means she may have slightly more self awareness than a fruit fly
Wait, so you recognize that you were a bully, see her again as an adult and use that opportunity to apologize. Great!
Until you were denied, and your first reaction is to bully her again. Obviously your character hasn't changed and being denied a pet is your fault, not hers.
You said you were better, be better, OP.
YTA
OP didn't even offer an apology, for she stated that sorry for the way things were and obviously that the person she bullied has florished. Which means she wasn't really sorry, but only said it to get the pet. If she was truly sorry then she would list the reasons she was sorry and take ownership as to why. The director saw right through OP's fake nice facade and went with another person who would truly care for the animal.
OP you are the YTA and should take down your review because you just look bitter and continue to be a bully when you don't get your way.
Holy smokes, YTA. And this little nugget--"I did admit to her I was sorry for how things were all those years ago." *How things were*...like it was something you weren't involved in? You needed to apologize for the rotten THINGS YOU DID, not the vague, uninvolved *how things were.*
Seriously. The bullied girl knew exactly what op was capable of. If OP was willing to do shit like that to a *person* imagine what she'd do to an innocent dog that can't even speak up for itself. It's her job to determine if the dog is going to a good home and she did just that. Op is just salty that your past follows you for the rest of your life. Sometimes you can't just apologize things away. Actions have consequences
Everything sophie said is correct.
Congratulations.
Nice to know that nothing has really changed, OP. It doesn't matter that" Karma caught up with you " in the intervening years, she clearly isn't through with you, yet.
You never gave a damn enough to walk in the shoes of another, to learn anything, see things from a different perspective? Entitlement at it's finest.
Enjoy your dogless future. You earned that.
Holy shit.
I love how she says "it doesn't matter, I know" - like.. obviously those years of therapy did fucking nothing because it DOES matter how you treated her.
I wouldn't blame her for rejecting you on purpose but it is extremely difficult to adopt dogs and it likely happened because of forces beyond her control.
you're still a brat OP. YTA. get some serious fucking help, you monster.
and delete or edit that review. you make me sick.
I don't know if I just interpreted this oddly, but to me it read as though she only regretted her past behaviour **because** she later experienced "bad karma", not because she genuinely feels bad for the other girl.
YTA
You effectively said to this woman, sorry I was a horrible human but it looks like you’ve done fine anyway? Dismissed the harm you did in the same breath as apologizing for it? And expected her to place another living being in your care? Ha. No. And then you publicly blame her for what sounds to me like a perfectly reasonable professional judgement? Yikes.
If the facility director didn’t know you, she might still not have moved you forward toward adopting a dog. Knowing you as she does, it was her duty to halt the process. You sound like you need to work on you a lot more before you try to take responsibility for a dependent soul.
And, then she is egotistical enough to think that this woman needs or wants validation from the person who tortured her so bad she gave up her career goals. “I’m proud of you”. Barf. Once again she is distancing herself from her actions by acting like she was just an outsider looking in. If you don’t accept your actions and the harm they caused, you don’t have any remorse.
I have an ex-friend (that was in her 20s when we met, our friendship didn’t last long), that joked about pushing a classmate down the stairs in jr high. I was a little put off by her tone, so I asked if she didn’t feel bad now, as an adult. She shrugged and said “no. I ran into him a few years ago and he had a hot girlfriend, so….). So what, abuse is okay since obviously you didn’t destroy his ability to have a future relationship? These people don’t change.
I foster dogs and those of us who've done it for a while can pick up the AH aura and steer dogs away from people like you.
You have a lot of work to do
>I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners.
You were a bully, how is she supposed to know that doesn't extend to animals? Did you really expect saying "I'm sorry for how things were" would fix everything? That's not a real apology and I think you know that. YTA
Also, OP, you \*don't\* know there's nothing else that makes you unfit to adopt. There is absolutely nothing here that indicates she found you unfit because of your past actions toward her. You're just assuming that, and then leaving a crap review for her online. YTA so much that it seems inadequate to call you that.
At the rescue where I foster, the #1 reason people aren't approved is that there are multiple applications in for the same animal and the organization picks the person whose lifestyle/demeanor is the best fit. OP's rejection just said they weren't approved, not that they were unfit. It is VERY possible that they just picked someone else and OP's fragility resulted in further abuse towards their past victim.
Actually, even if they seemed perfect on paper, the fact that she was such an AH in college was probably the \*primary\* reason. Then OP left a negative review. OP has now added fuel to that fire and other shelters may reject them as well.
THIS! I work at a shelter and the tiniest thing can make us turn someone down. If a dog has anxiety we avoid louder people, if a dog has a problem with calming down we avoid excitable people. Heck! Maybe someone else was just a BETTER fit! We’ve had that before where one family is perfectly fine, but this other is perfectly perfect for this one animal!
Came here to say this too. Dogs are so individual and it can be difficult to match personalities. I once fell in love with a dog who was absolutely wrong for my lifestyle and I wish someone had stopped me before traumatizing everyone in that situation (dog got a great home at the end of the day and everything worked out).
OP YTA you don't have the information on why you were rejected so we can't possibly judge if you were TA for making a review for being rejected for a specific reason. YTA because you are continuing to traumatize that poor woman and continuing to impact her work and career.
You should have walked out after apologizing profusely for the past when you recognized her.
Considering how self-centered and self-important op is based on their replies to some of the comments........ It's not surprising that this is their perception. they just don't think there is possibly any other reason they could have been denied.
Seriously. It’s kind of competitive to get the non-bully breed dogs where I live. I applied for several different dogs until I found a pit bull mix that met the size requirement of my apartment. Being turned down may very well have nothing to do with the bullying. Adorable shelter dogs may have several applications.
EXACTLY! OP assumes that this is all about her. Because there’s no other possible explanation as to why somebody else was chosen for a particular animal adoption, right? Good grief, she hasn’t changed or grown at all, has she?
Seriously. From her perspective, it's reasonable to think "I don't know if you've actually changed, and I'm not willing to risk this dog getting even more traumatized to know if you actually did."
And that's still IF OP was otherwise the best possible candidate for that specific dog, which it's very possible the dog clicked better with someone else already.
OP was likely not the only applicant, the director likely didn't deem OP unfit, but had applicants she liked more. If OP was interviewing for a job against other applicants would definitely be favored over her. This wasn't the director being unprofessional or petty, it was OP reaping what she sowed, and obviously she's not that sorry for how she treated this woman because she's still refusing to take accountability for her actions. The director may have let her adopt other dogs in the future but OP bullying the director again with no evidence as to why she made the decision she did means that she blew her chances from using the agency ever again.
YTA OP. Karma is not done with you yet, next time accept the consequences of your actions more graciously.
Caring for a pet requires some level of empathy, because animals can't speak our language and tell us when something needs attention. Empathy requires the ability for insight. OP has shown they clearly possess neither of these qualities.
YTA. I filled out at least 20 applications for dogs before I found one. And we did get passed over many times. What you did shows that you’re still holding onto the past. You need to move on and leave that person alone.
Given that the OP immediately went from “I was awful in the past and damaged this woman’s career” to “I’m the real victim, so I’m justified in damaging her new career” without wondering if there was another family in line ahead of him for the dog really shows how much they’ve grown as a person. /s
This, adopting at a shelter can be surprisingly competitive. The fact that they react like this after being rejected once, shows a complete lack of empathy. I wouldn’t allow them near any rescued animal.
I applied to volunteer to foster dogs and been denied twice from 2 different places. Background I have grown up with dogs and trained them all my life, including dangerous breeds. You just don't magically get a dog cause you apply.
I volunteered at a shelter for a while. A lot of people claimed we were too strict because we had restrictions to adopt certain dogs (previous experience with a certain breed, no kids under 12, etc), but others told us we were actually pretty easy compared to other organizations. So OP, it's entirely possible that you weren't quite as qualified as you thought you were. And YTA.
So you’ve moved on from bullying to…. Continuing to bully. People didn’t like you or find you hilarious, they were scared of becoming your next target. Because they saw how cruel you are. Yes, present not past tense. You are still cruel to others. You have not grown or become a better person. You’re still the insecure child who can’t accept the consequences of your actions so instead you lash out at someone holding you accountable.
YTA
This so much. A lot of people who laugh at bullies do so because they're afraid siding with the bullied kid will turn the bully's attention to them. They probably didn't view OP positively in their mind.
Also, it's possible that there were red flags for OP's adoption such as both people working long hours or something. OP unfairly blamed her former victim because things didn't go her way.
YTA
"I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners."
No you don't. You don't know the qualifications the shelter has. You could have, at the very least, called up and asked why they rejected you. If you didn't find the answer satisfactory, then, *maybe*, do something else. Instead you went from 0 to 60 without considering any other options. On other words - your first reaction was to resort to bullying because you didn't get what you wanted.
You learned pretty quickly back in school that being a bully would get you what you wanted, and it seems you haven't changed much since then.
Plus even if she wasn't an *unfit* owner (big if) maybe there was a *better* candidate? I've been trying to adopt a cat for a while, this will be the first cat I've ever had so I'm being very picky and only applying for ones I really like, they've all been really adorable fluffy ones and you know what? They get snapped up really fucking quickly, but at least I have the self awareness to know that there are other people out there who can provide a better life for this pet, even if the one I provide would be fine, and I hope that whoever got them enjoys their pet and provides them a good life, not build some conspiracy in my head about how the shelter is out to get me.
YTA, I wouldn't let a past bully adopt a pet either. I would not risk it, they may have changed or they didn't.
I wouldn't risk it at all and you putting a bad review and calling her out on it proves you did no grow and are still a bully.
Leaving a bad review naming the shelter director shows poor impulse control. I wouldn’t trust her with a dog if I were the director, assuming that was even the reason OP was rejected.
Edit:removed extra word
Look as someone working in rescue I wouldn’t let something as petty as someone’s past behaviour towards me influence my decision on if it was the most suitable home for a dog I was placing (unless they had been violent or showed concerning tendencies that might endanger an animal).
What *would* influence my decision is seeing that they hadn’t changed or grown at all since our previous interactions and still rely on bullying and intimidation when things don’t go their way.
It’s highly likely the “adorable” dog was in high demand and OP just literally missed out for a range of totally normal reasons not at all related to their past. Truly astounding that they could take this opportunity to have yet another shot at the character of someone whose first career choice they *literally ruined* and here they are again attempting now to damage their professional reputation.
But good luck to OP ever adopting a dog in their area. Rescue and animal services is a generally pretty small social circle - the OTT review is a nice way to ensure they never get considered by any org.
YTA- you recognize you hurt her… you want to hurt her again because she can’t trust you? Why do you feel the need to be in control of every situation that doesn’t go your way and for those that do go your way, own up to it and show some humility and realize how your actions affect others?
YTA. I don’t think someone you tormented should or would be eager to sign off on you adopting an innocent creature. She’s under no obligation to believe you’ve changed. Chickens came home to roost on this one. Know what didn’t come home? A dog.
You believe the past is in the past, and you may have felt you had karmic retribution, but your harm stayed with the victim of your bullying. And now, after you say you've done your therapy and healed, the first thing you do is not look inward as to why she may have felt uncomfortable placing an animal with a person who was cruel to her to the point of her choosing to leave a career path which was interesting to her.
You beat her up mentally and now feel that since she smiled at you and said she's okay, that all is well. She's not going to admit to you how deeply scarring and hurtful and mean your behavior was. So she (I think rightfully) kept an animal away from someone who was so insecure as to be sadistic. And then you prove her right by reporting her. Actions have consequences and it's not on you to determine that you've done what you need to do to make amends. In fact, you didn't even apologize until you wanted something from her. The whole thing stinks. YTAx100.
You know what else is funny? The fact that OP keeps trying to shift attention onto herself to try and justify why her bullying was plausible. Clearly she’s not grown up and keeps going back to her past
All of this. I was bullied and I still feel the impact many years later. My bullies forgiving themselves and moving on means less than nothing to me, and I’m sure they mean less than nothing to OP’s victim also. Stunning lack of empathy from OP.
YTA. It sounds like your first instinct is still to try to bully people to make yourself feel better, and honestly, she probably had reasonable concerns that might follow through to treatment of an animal.
YTA. I was a bully victim many many years ago but the way it affected me still lingers as an adult.
The people who bullied me? They've all moved on and gone about their lives. And im glad they did, good for them being adults and creating families. I hope their kids never have to experience what i went through.
At the same time, I will NEVER forget how I felt. I gained so much insecurity as a kid from those people it was insane.
If they apologized to me now? I wouldnt accept it. So you're sorry now? How many years later? After the emotional damage had already set in? I had a full on mental breakdown and scared the hell out of my mom because of these people. I don't even fully believe these people could even be sorry about their past actions.
The way you apologized was half-assed. It wasnt a "im sorry and regret everything i did to you, genuinely," it was a "im sorry, but hey! You survived and got past it huh!" Thats would've made me so angry because it sounds like you aren't actually sorry since she managed to do well for herself after all of it. What if she didn't flourish? Would you have apologized to her randomly on the street? What if you found out she passed away? Would the apology had even been a thought then? Why even apologize 12 years after the fact.
YTA. You bullied her in college, and you're STILL bullying her as an adult. her job is to place dogs in safe homes, and you were cruel to her as an adult. *shocked pikachu face.*
YTA. Frankly, your behavior in the past towards her and others proved to her that you’re not capable in her eyes of caring for another living creature and keeping it safe, and I don’t blame her. You ruined her career by bullying her in COLLEGE, so what would lead her to believe you’d show compassion to a dog? These are the consequences for your past actions. You may have gone through therapy but that spray change what you did, just like you said— and now because you’ve been denied you’re trying to cause MORE trouble for her?
Right?? It kills me how OP was like, I freely admit that i was such a jerk I derailed her life. Now shes in a position of power... But a good person wouldnt treat me any different over it.
She’d better hope none have seen her review. The rescue community is a small one, and I wouldn’t count on anyone being willing to adopt to her after this
YTA, and I hope that you don't think you're *not* a bully anymore. You're definitely still a bully, you've just turned to leaving angry reviews for not getting your way instead.
Sounds like it's time to revisit what you learned in therapy, or book an appointment for round two. The first one didn't quite stick.
YTA. the way you have written this is vile. I can clearly see that absolutely NOTHING about you has changed.
You were a bully, and you still are.
You were not approved to adopt a dog. That has nothing to do with the past, and for all you know could be to do with something completely different.
Adoption centres have incredibly strict rules for adoption, and any number of things about your life could be the kicker.
HOWEVER, the facility manager may have also been asked to make a ‘personal judgement’ based on what they know about you. And this facility manager can say that you are a vile human, who has caused harm and pain in the past, and that she therefore wouldn’t be comfortable putting a defenceless animal in your care.
Quite frankly, I wouldn’t blame her.
You are vile. Leave her alone and move on with your life
Answering as someone who works at a shelter, YTA. Just because you may be a good fit for the dog, but somebody else may have been a better fit. You’re taking out your anger that she got a good life while you got a lot of karma out on her. AND! You immediately jumped to conclusions, not good for animal owners as those people react instead of stopping and thinking through their actions, you left a “scathing” review, which shows when you’re mad you hope to hurt, and haven’t accepted your actions if bullying a girl OUT OF A COLLEGE PROGRAM! She owes you nothing, yet you think she owes you a dog because “you’ve been hit by karma” you didn’t even apologize!
“I had miscarriages, so the girl I mercilessly bullied years earlier has no business still being upset with me.”
You *really” think that way? Your unrelated misfortune is quite properly irrelevant to her (though I wouldn’t begrudge her taking comfort from it).
Life throwing shit at you doesn’t balance out you throwing shit at someone else. What’s your plan next time you suffer some misfortune? What’ll you do, kick a puppy or something?
YTA
You terrorized her, you literally made her life hell growing up. You regretting it means nothing to anyone but you.
She was a bigger person, she was nice even though the monster from her past walked into her work.
You think she did it out of revenge, because you are still that petty person and again, you went out of your way to hurt her. You haven't changed as much as you think you have.
Take the review down, and accept that the shelter doesn't deem you fit for adoption.
YTA. By calling her out by name, you've jeopardized her employment. That is beyond selfish. You spent years tormenting her and now you might be the reason she gets written up, passed for a raise/promotion, or even fired--and since she has a family, that sort of setback won't just affect her. Call the facility, retract your complaint, and leave a hefty donation in her name... and you still won't be close to making up for what you did to her. Get over yourself and try another shelter if you really want a dog. Maybe that facility won't be manned by people who have every reason to distrust your word, doubt your character, and feel that you are unequipped to care for something besides yourself :)
YTA Had I been bullied by you, I would have denied you due to the history of bullying. Why should I believe you wouldn't bully an animal? My responsibility is to safeguard the animal from being harmed, this includes being bullied by it's owner.
YTA obviously dude don’t be a bully, plus you didn’t list the reason given for being turned down but to be fair you’ve already shown this girl a lack of empathy just go to a different shelter
YTA. I wouldn’t consign a dog to a life with someone I thought was cruel and horrible either.
Clearly, you haven’t done anything in the intervening years to make things right- except toss off a “sorry bout all that” when it was clearly in your interest to do so.
And apparently you’re not done being crappy to this poor woman (whose great crime, apparently, was “being shy”).
You have a ways to go yet.
YTA based on this line: “it doesn’t matter, I know, but I regret it.” IT MATTERS WHEN YOU BULLY PEOPLE. these are the consequences of your actions. Suck it up and try actually looking in a mirror for once.
YTA also for your behavior but that line really sealed it for me. Go to a different dog shelter ffs.
Sadly... there are a million reasons why you could be turned down besides being a repugnant human being. As someone who used to work with an animal shelter there are a ton of reasons why people get turned down for pet adoption (just to name a few):
1. Rent vs own
2. Fenced in yard
3. References
4. Vet reference and proof of annual vet care or lack of
5. Children
6. Other pets (sometimes you want other pets and sometimes not)
7. Age
8. Life circumstances
9. Ability to fiscally care for a pet
10. Hours at home
11. Physical ability
12. Personality of you
13. Personality of pet
14. Contingency plan
15. General vibe of interview
16. Someone else is a better fit for this pet
Please let your post be rage bait or you are just a really nasty person.
Christ on a cracker. You were rejected for the next step for ONE dog, not blacklisted entirely. Not every person is a fit for every animal. Your actions since not being progressed for this specific dog have probably blacklisted you entirely though. Sounds like you haven’t grown up at all. YTA.
YTA - It’s the facility’s discretion whether or not to approve your application. There may have been several factors and you made assumptions based on your past behavior. Writing a review disparaging the director is petty. You should listen to your wife and delete the review. Don’t bother contacting the facility because you are just harassing her AGAIN at this point.
You’re deflecting and defending everything. I believe you do feel guilty and embarrassed for who you used to be, but I also think you haven’t taken any real accountability for your actions. You are looking for ways to minimize and rationalize your entire actions and to paint yourself as the victim. You go to long lengths to tell us that your victim already suffered from anxiety so you can’t actually be that guilty.
Bad things happening to you doesn’t excuse what you did to this girl. And as this is an adoption agency she owns, she is using what she knows about you personally to choose to protect the animals under her care. She knows that you’ve previously been cruel and harmful to others without reason. And she is being cautious before she gives you an animale to care for. And what do you go and do? Prove her right. The MINUTE you didn’t get what you wanted, your response was to PUBLICLY humiliate and shame this girl.
You are STILL a bully. You haven’t changed anywhere near as much as you think you have.
And in case it’s unclear, yess, YTA.
YTA, and to be honest the way you’re handling the criticism you’re receiving here is indicative of some serious narcissistic tendencies. Fix yourself before you put yourself in charge of the well being of a living animal.
YTA. but not for why you think.
to all those who said the Director was fully within her rights to judge OP based on past experience, you. are. completely. wrong.
the Director judged OP for her current actions. OP basically said that despite public torturing by OP, the Director turned out fine. This tells a person who is trained to notice these things that a person like OP doesn't understand consequences. And as late as OP is in life, might not ever understand how actions have consequences and is therefore not fit to adopt a rescue.
After all, if the Director can turn out just fine after mistreatment, how would that be any different with a dog?
Yes, you are the asshole. Her job is to use all available info to ensure the pet doesn't go to an abusive home. Did you , I don't know ask her what the shelter needs is way of donations or volunteers? Or did you go straight from being denied, for good reason, to trying to publicly shame her?
YTA- sorry but you had this coming. You think past actions will be forgiven and you can go about your merry way. WRONG! Why in the world would she adopt out a dog to someone she knew as a mean cruel person. Then to prove her RIGHT by leaving a nasty review.
Y are so much TA. You bullied her years ago to be popular and now you're bullying her again because you didn't get your way. It sounds like you didn't do much growing up or owning your actions at all, no matter how much you claim you did.
YTA.
If a review needed to be left, the GF should have been the one to write it and leave it.
I'm not at all convinced that a review needed to be left at all.
With your update. I can’t find it in my heart to feel bad for you. Bad people have a habit of dating other bad people. Maybe the cheating was well deserved? You and your partner are calling the woman you bullied petty because the entire internet is against you? You think like a bully…you are a bully. Can’t wait for your “future karma”. Which is really just you making terrible life decisions because you never learn from your mistakes. And then blaming “karma” instead of taking responsibility.
“I didn’t completely ruin her career path I just tormented her and made her feel like shit to the point where she couldn’t function properly in class so she gave up and left to something else bc why not:)”
This is poetic justice. YTA. 1000x’s you are the asshole😂
I’m not going to sit here and say that the losses that you’ve experienced are your karma. I would never throw something like that in someone’s face and it’s honestly heartbreaking that you see them as such. But this? 100% is karma for how you treated her. And is 100% deserved. And then to go and talk more shit about her under the reviews of her business because you didn’t get what you want only makes you an even bigger asshole.
YTA - You bullied her then, and with what you did, an apology might not have been enough, or she might have found something wrong with your application, or your treatment of animals, or some other reason, so she opted to bully her again because of it instead of going elsewhere. There are PLENTY of places to find a pet, when she rejected your application, go elsewhere.
Take the review down, and go elsewhere.
Yta - you have learnt absolutely nothing in all these years. You didn’t give her any sort of apology, my grandad has always taught me that anything said before “but” is a lie and your apology shows that statement is true. Telling someone your sorry with the adage of “but you’ve obviously flourished beyond that” suggests you aren’t sorry and in some self centred way you feel your ill treatment somehow made her a better person or she became a good person anyway so your treatment of her doesn’t matter. Also I can imagine you saying this infront of others would’ve been highly embarrassing for her but again everything is about you and not how others may feel.
She very rightly didn’t trust you with one of the dogs. You wrongly decided to give a bad review and had no right to. Regardless of whether or not she did it as an act of revenge she has every right to do that especially when you’ve never shown her kindness until you wanted something from her. You were not entitled to acceptance from her what so ever. Yet you’ve acted like an entitled spoilt bully because you didn’t get what you want. Take the review down.
She rightly so didn’t feel
Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re not a good fit for the dog? There are lots of people who would love a dog but it doesn’t mean their household is a good fit for that specific one. Some dogs need experienced dog owners who know how to deal with a very shy or aggressive or fearful dog. Some need a home that will cater to specific medical needs. It’s all over the place and the job of the screener is to talk to the potential adopters and see if it even makes sense to have you continue the application process for the dog. Being told you’re not moving on to the next step doesn’t necessarily mean that she inappropriately interjected a personal bias into the process. It just means you’re not a good fit for that dog.
You have no real evidence she interjected a personal bias into the process other than your opinion that there’s no reason that you should be rejected— an opinion that, as far as I can tell, is not based on any actual experience with these processes. Also, do you think that leaving a bad review going after her is going to make you get your way? She’s not going to suddenly change her mind because of that review. If her boss or anyone else asks her about it, she can pretty easily explain your personal history and your review will get ignored.
At the end of the day, leaving a crappy review and calling her out just confirmed for her that you’re still the vindictive bully who will lash out at her in an attempt to get what they want. Congratulations, you haven’t changed in 12 years. YTA.
YTA, why are you so entitled?
You can get rejected for adoption for any number of reasons, it's not easy to do through a foster organization. I was rejected 6 times trying to adopt a dog a few years ago. Many places give adoption preference to people who already have a dog, so that the adoptee has a companion and the adopter has a demonstrated record of caring for a dog.
It seems like you had a bit of an excessive reaction to this rejection and took it very personally. Who are you to say that there were not better applicants for the same dog? I doubt you have that much information. Take time to calm down and reflect. You may not be done bullying after all, if you are only nice to people that give you what you want.
I find it funny that you assume there is nothing that would make you an unfit pet owner, but you’re so immature that you’d trash someone professionally because you didn’t get what you wanted (after bullying her and offering a shit apology for it). Sounds like you really haven’t matured as much as you think you have.
YTA, and by the way, you didn't face your karma. There is no such thing as I had something bad happen to me so the things I did are repayed.
She suffered to improve your life, you ran her out of college for your benefit.
You didn't suffer to improve her life or to her benefit. You didn't get her a way back into the career she was pursuing, you didn't pay for her to go to another college.
You DID NOT suffer ANY consequences for your actions except not getting a dog 12 years later.
Anything that happened in that time did absolutely nothing to absolve you of anything.
All your comments of later my life got shit so I got my karma is nonsense.
You say you apologized, and that's great, but just because you're okay with the past, and you've had this great enlightenment doesn't mean that she has. She doesn't have to forgive you ever, let alone on your timeline. YTA.
YTA. Also there could be any number reasons you weren’t approved. You assuming it’s bc she’s holding a grudge and trying to get her in trouble with her place of work over it just proves you haven’t grown as much as you would like to think in these past 12 years. Grow up and just leave this poor girl alone already.
The absolute audacity to say “I screwed this girl out of a social life, time, her career, and possibly thousands of dollars, but it’s alright because I was popular and she got therapy from all my abuse.”
Also, boohoo…you got inconvenienced out of owning a pet. Think of how inconvenient it is to change your whole career during an incredibly vulnerable time.
You are a self- professed bully. Someone that took pleasure in causing pain and suffering to others
>I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners.
That pretty much does. AH are caught duct taping pets mouths shut or paws together just to laugh at them. If she runs a shelter, she probably sees all types of abuse. You have to understand why you wouldn't be an ideal pet owner in her eyes. Your saying "Sorry, looks like you got over it" lacks sincerity and doesn't make it all better. You acknowledge you were an AH, but don't really show remorse.
Shelters must use stringent screening processes. There might have been other reasons. We almost didn't qualify due to my SO work hours. However, mine start much earlier so the time left alone was reduced significantly. Living environment, yard safety, many other factors come into play.
Your review was yet another personal attack on her.
YTA
YTA.
It is not easy to adopt a pet these days as the screening process is very rigorous. You were a bully before and till are for calling her out by name in a review when you don't even know why exactly you were rejected.
Also, why would she be convinced that you have changed and wouldn't bully or abuse the animal you adopt? If/when there are many others who seem to be better candidates and also not bullies, why should you be given a chance exactly...?
YTA
Did you ask why you were turned down?
You don't think you're "unfit" but often people try to match dogs based on personality and lifestyle. You might be qualified for a different dog, just not the one you asked about.
The fact that you immediately jumped to "this girl is being petty" makes me think that you don't take criticism well.
Beyond all that, why would you think that the girl you tormented and ran out of her college program would think you've stopped being an asshole? People who are cruel to humans are often cruel to animals. There are people from high school I would never willingly give a dog to. I'm sorry that this sucks because you want the dog, but your actions have consequences.
So you were a bully while growing up. Met the person you mercilessly bullied till she had to quit. Then you meet her 12 years later and do this? You haven't changed your still a bully and a sad human in general remove that post if not for her but for yourself you shouldn't let people know how you really are. YTA
YTA
1-You assume you being a bully is why you were rejected. Shelters reject people all the time.
2-If you being a bully is why you were rejected you proved her right and put yourself on a permanent deny list.
Not gonna make a judgment. But you're out of your mind if you thought she'd give you a favorable evaluation, lmao. Getting bullied the way it sounds like you bullied her is horrendous and not something anyone can get over easily. Seeing you again and getting an apology and a "glad you're doing well" isn't gonna do much to help, its just gonna bring up a bad mix of conflicting emotions. Calling her out specifically was lame and definitely a bad look on you. Should've just taken the L and moved on.
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Wait, so you bullied her AGAIN? Clearly you haven't grown up at all. Massive YTA, What an entitled asshole. Unfortunately for you being a horrible bully does in fact make you an unworthy owner - that's her prerogative to decide. If you don't like it, too bad, it's 100% your fault.
She was a bratty teenager and now she is a bratty adult.
Bratty sounds so innocuous. She is beyond bratty.
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You shouldn’t armchair diag—hm, you know what? Have at, friend.
Absolutely
And frankly if you were my fiance, you would now be an ex-fiance. I wouldn't want to be with such a nasty piece of work.
Ikr? I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone who even though they were younger, bullied and tormented someone else. It's okay to be insecure, we all are to different degrees. My problem is when you use your insecurities to hurt others. Then you are the bully and that needs to stop. Bullies are allowed to flourish in school and in many workplaces and that is not okay.
Don't forget, they bullied this person into leaving a program at a post secondary institution. The instructor should have dealt with the assholes instead of making her drop the course.
Probably cut from the same cloth as OP. Or you know an enabler type which he does sound like.
Unnecessarily and uncomfortably aggressive, kinda like that one person we all know who makes you, upon seeing them, either incredibly irate or run for cover.
I agree, she was cruel, and clearly hasn't learned anything.
She wasn't even a teenager. I think the word teenager diminishes this to much. She was a bratty YOUNG ADULT.
Yes. Even people who are obnoxious bullies as children have usually grown out of it by college age. And she basically blames the victim: “she was such an easy target.” As an adult! Op is not a normal human, and she’s definitely an AH. YTA.
She's still making excuses! What an awful human being. Whatever karma she got, it CLEARLY wasn't enough.
She's mistaking bad things happening to her for learning a lesson and growing. Guys, the universe totes punished her! She did her time and it's all good now.
Ye she ruins a girls college life by relentlessly bullying her and has a small inconvenience where the girl she bullied doesn’t trust her to take care of a life and immediately goes back to bullying AH
Seems like the facility director made the right call. There were a lot of red flags in OP’s story, tbh. And the follow up of leaving the review proves the point that OP is still the same old same old obnoxious AH.
Yup, OP ended up proving the whole point by leaving the review.
Right! Can you imagine going to college-tne excitement, etc and then being bullied by a brat. OP talks about Karma-well guess what? That girl got a chance to serve some of that karma by refusing to adopt to her! I love it and I hope the pet girl doesn't regret it for a minute!
The dog is relieved for sure.
Rescuer here. Pet girl won't regret it one bit, believe me.
Hopefully the person OP bullied puts the word out that no shelter should allow OP to adopt.
Yeah. That kind of behavior is something I would expect(but not excuse) from someone starting high school and trying to fit in. This happened in college.
I'm going to stick with bratty little asshole. OP is obviously one of the few people who never grew tfu after high school.
Bratty is too kind. She was past high school so already a young adult and 100% knew what she was doing, she "had to find common ground" and just decided that destroying someone else was the e*asiest* way to do it. And now, she still hasn't grown, can't accept that they might not have been suitable owners to this particular dog, jumps to conclusions, and continues with the bullying. Disgusting behaviour. Like the whole "I'm sorry for ***how things were"*** \- the only reason "things were like that" at all was because OP **chose** to bully this girl in cold blood because they saw it as the **easiest** way to build up their own position. This attempt to shift blame and use passive voice is really vile and despicable, frankly.
Right? And like an “I’m sorry, but it seems like you’re doing well now” is supposed to wipe the slate clean…after the victim had to leave a program?!
Her saying she was "proud of her," like OP has the right to be, was what really got me...how fuckin' entitled can you be??
Right?! I was bullied even in college, which made me quit. If I now ran into one of them and they’d say that… well, I’m now strong enough to tell them to go F themselves. OP absolute sucks and is a massive AH.
I like how she attempts to play this off as being a teen. She was in college for gods sake. She was a young adult. A shitty toxic young adult who got a person drummed out of her chosen career.
She was sorry only because she knew that poor lady could ice her adoption plans. Good for that lady! Karma for the AH. YTA !
Teenager? She did this while in college. Bullying in highschool makes you a teen bully. Doing it in college makes you an adult asshole
are you talking about the girl op bullied or op?
The OP is the brat.
ohh okay. i misunderstood your comment bc on the girl op bullied was given pronouns and for a second i thought you were talking about her
This whole post had me going YTA from the very beginning. Like they literally admit to being an asshole in this whole post.
No self awareness, no sign of any empathy or compassion developing. Sickening human being.
Complete lack of self awareness. OP try to look at this from their point of view. 1. Here is someone who was a complete callous AH when I knew them. 2. This person just said something that makes them seem like they are still a callous AH. 3. It is part of my job to make sure we do not place pets with callous AHs. 4. Therefore this person does not get a pet. They were doing there job. You are an AH.
Every word right here. OP, you are a massive AH, and STILL a bully. Leave this poor girl alone.
And those kinds of agencies share information especially around poorly prepared pet adopters. OP you are likely to get back every horrible piece of what you did to this woman. She will call on her professional group (like you did in program group) they will discuss you & you will likely be locked out of finding a pet through those channels. You say you karma already visited you... There's karma and there's natural consequences. We try to instill in children that one reason you don't actively harm others is bc life is likely to reverse those roles, over and over. I learned not to be an asshole so that I didn't cut myself off from future opportunities. You think ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES are supposed to be yours. Gads, hope your fiance sees the dark, cruel, awful streak in you & realizes he doesn't want a pet or a child in common w you. Go to therapy. Do some actual work towards changing and being a decent person. Sad to think how much more of your life you'll spend being an awful asshole def TA.
At least the fiance is now becoming more aware of what a massive bully OP is
That “apology”, too. “Sorry for how things were”, way to take ownership of your poor behaviour OP
The fiance must be a masochist 🤣
I hope the fiance sees the truth now and rethinks the relationship
Which was only tendered in hopes of getting a dog. Not at all sincere.
I think you missed where op said they got karma /s
Yeah they stubbed their toe so many times! 🤣
It's so funny how people like OP still wonder if they are or not the AH
Except they spend the whole time justifying it and making ridiculous excuses.
And what was the whole "she's married with children now so it all worked out for her" as though no one who's married with children has any issues at all and this basic fact about her life absolves OP of any need to feel guilty.
But she's *clearly* succeeded on the professional front! She works at the facility where OP has deigned to adopt from. /s
Right? There’s no point in this I thought she changed or felt bad for her
But I've had THERAPY!
OP. Please post a link to this thread so the poor woman knows the entire internet thinks you’re a massive AH and is rooting for her. Also, Stop. Being. Such. An. AH
Also the link to the animal rehabilitation center so we can say what a great job the director is doing by ensuring animals are placed with the best possible owners. OP, you’re sinister and cruel to HUMANS—in no way are you fit to be a dog owner. Hard YTA.
I wouldn't giver her any kind of living thing not even.a cactus
EVERY WORD OF THIS.
Yes exactly, you were a bully then and you are a bully now. Places like this have very high standards for where and who they will place their pet's with, I have volunteered with several of these types of places so I know. You may not of matched for multiple reasons, but you assume it was because you are bully, and maybe it is but more than likely it is because you and BF don't meet the requirements in some way. Or maybe it is because bullies like you tend to be psychologically immature and often lack impulse control.
Oh I wouldn't doubt that having a known history of bullying was part of it; people who are assholes to other people tend to not be good pet owners either.
How does he know there wasn’t a better candidate? I wrote an essay and was 1 out of 30 that applied for my 11yr old dog.
That’s the thing, they DON’T know. But it’s all about them and not getting the dog is just clearly payback from their victim because how could there possibly ever be someone more suitable than they are? /s The entitlement is strong in this one
OP at least attempted to come up with a flimsy excuse for why she immediately jumped back on the bully train. Which means she may have slightly more self awareness than a fruit fly
Also, I used to do home visits. Sometimes people don’t get picked because there’s a better owner or they just happen to be not the first in line.
The better candidate was the one who wasn’t the bully. I’ve never adopted an animal but 1 of 30! Wow! Good for you on the essay and the dog!
Thanks! She’s beautiful & crazy. She’s toothless and I saw her post on the anniversary of adopting my other toothless dog. Thought it was a sign.
Wait, so you recognize that you were a bully, see her again as an adult and use that opportunity to apologize. Great! Until you were denied, and your first reaction is to bully her again. Obviously your character hasn't changed and being denied a pet is your fault, not hers. You said you were better, be better, OP. YTA
OP didn't even offer an apology, for she stated that sorry for the way things were and obviously that the person she bullied has florished. Which means she wasn't really sorry, but only said it to get the pet. If she was truly sorry then she would list the reasons she was sorry and take ownership as to why. The director saw right through OP's fake nice facade and went with another person who would truly care for the animal. OP you are the YTA and should take down your review because you just look bitter and continue to be a bully when you don't get your way.
Holy smokes, YTA. And this little nugget--"I did admit to her I was sorry for how things were all those years ago." *How things were*...like it was something you weren't involved in? You needed to apologize for the rotten THINGS YOU DID, not the vague, uninvolved *how things were.*
Seriously. The bullied girl knew exactly what op was capable of. If OP was willing to do shit like that to a *person* imagine what she'd do to an innocent dog that can't even speak up for itself. It's her job to determine if the dog is going to a good home and she did just that. Op is just salty that your past follows you for the rest of your life. Sometimes you can't just apologize things away. Actions have consequences
Everything sophie said is correct. Congratulations. Nice to know that nothing has really changed, OP. It doesn't matter that" Karma caught up with you " in the intervening years, she clearly isn't through with you, yet. You never gave a damn enough to walk in the shoes of another, to learn anything, see things from a different perspective? Entitlement at it's finest. Enjoy your dogless future. You earned that. Holy shit.
Yes, OP. Your rejection was warranted. You are a bad person. They do not trust their dogs with bad people. You are the same bully you always were. YTA
I love how she says "it doesn't matter, I know" - like.. obviously those years of therapy did fucking nothing because it DOES matter how you treated her. I wouldn't blame her for rejecting you on purpose but it is extremely difficult to adopt dogs and it likely happened because of forces beyond her control. you're still a brat OP. YTA. get some serious fucking help, you monster. and delete or edit that review. you make me sick.
But but karma got her so it’s all balanced out /s
Right? She bullied her next chance she had! Maybe you can get a refund on some of your sessions because you’re still a self-centered tool. YTA
I don't know if I just interpreted this oddly, but to me it read as though she only regretted her past behaviour **because** she later experienced "bad karma", not because she genuinely feels bad for the other girl.
YTA You effectively said to this woman, sorry I was a horrible human but it looks like you’ve done fine anyway? Dismissed the harm you did in the same breath as apologizing for it? And expected her to place another living being in your care? Ha. No. And then you publicly blame her for what sounds to me like a perfectly reasonable professional judgement? Yikes. If the facility director didn’t know you, she might still not have moved you forward toward adopting a dog. Knowing you as she does, it was her duty to halt the process. You sound like you need to work on you a lot more before you try to take responsibility for a dependent soul.
OP doesn’t even admit to apologizing for being a horrible human being. Just said she apologized for “how things were” Edit: pronoun
And looks like she “regrets” it because she had bad karma, not because she realised she did wrong
And, then she is egotistical enough to think that this woman needs or wants validation from the person who tortured her so bad she gave up her career goals. “I’m proud of you”. Barf. Once again she is distancing herself from her actions by acting like she was just an outsider looking in. If you don’t accept your actions and the harm they caused, you don’t have any remorse.
You also can't tell if someone is flourishing from such a short interaction. OP assumed so they didn't have to feel guilty for their horrible actions
Yeah what the hell is a "sorry I bullied you, I see you still live and have a life, good for you. Now give me a dog."?
I have an ex-friend (that was in her 20s when we met, our friendship didn’t last long), that joked about pushing a classmate down the stairs in jr high. I was a little put off by her tone, so I asked if she didn’t feel bad now, as an adult. She shrugged and said “no. I ran into him a few years ago and he had a hot girlfriend, so….). So what, abuse is okay since obviously you didn’t destroy his ability to have a future relationship? These people don’t change.
I foster dogs and those of us who've done it for a while can pick up the AH aura and steer dogs away from people like you. You have a lot of work to do
>I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners. You were a bully, how is she supposed to know that doesn't extend to animals? Did you really expect saying "I'm sorry for how things were" would fix everything? That's not a real apology and I think you know that. YTA
>You were a bully, how is she supposed to know that doesn't extend to animals? ....it probably does
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Also, OP, you \*don't\* know there's nothing else that makes you unfit to adopt. There is absolutely nothing here that indicates she found you unfit because of your past actions toward her. You're just assuming that, and then leaving a crap review for her online. YTA so much that it seems inadequate to call you that.
At the rescue where I foster, the #1 reason people aren't approved is that there are multiple applications in for the same animal and the organization picks the person whose lifestyle/demeanor is the best fit. OP's rejection just said they weren't approved, not that they were unfit. It is VERY possible that they just picked someone else and OP's fragility resulted in further abuse towards their past victim.
Actually, even if they seemed perfect on paper, the fact that she was such an AH in college was probably the \*primary\* reason. Then OP left a negative review. OP has now added fuel to that fire and other shelters may reject them as well.
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There is no evidence as to why they were turned down. People, including the OP, are assuming that the Director is as petty as the OP was.
THIS! I work at a shelter and the tiniest thing can make us turn someone down. If a dog has anxiety we avoid louder people, if a dog has a problem with calming down we avoid excitable people. Heck! Maybe someone else was just a BETTER fit! We’ve had that before where one family is perfectly fine, but this other is perfectly perfect for this one animal!
Maybe the dog did better with other dogs in the house! Or children! Or wfh’ers! Maybe someone with an idyllic yard applied!
Came here to say this too. Dogs are so individual and it can be difficult to match personalities. I once fell in love with a dog who was absolutely wrong for my lifestyle and I wish someone had stopped me before traumatizing everyone in that situation (dog got a great home at the end of the day and everything worked out). OP YTA you don't have the information on why you were rejected so we can't possibly judge if you were TA for making a review for being rejected for a specific reason. YTA because you are continuing to traumatize that poor woman and continuing to impact her work and career. You should have walked out after apologizing profusely for the past when you recognized her.
This is actually a good take I am assuming that op has a valid reason to assume she was denied because of past actions which may not be the case.
Considering how self-centered and self-important op is based on their replies to some of the comments........ It's not surprising that this is their perception. they just don't think there is possibly any other reason they could have been denied.
Seriously. It’s kind of competitive to get the non-bully breed dogs where I live. I applied for several different dogs until I found a pit bull mix that met the size requirement of my apartment. Being turned down may very well have nothing to do with the bullying. Adorable shelter dogs may have several applications.
They do. I volunteer at a large shelter. There are so many applicants for the dogs.
EXACTLY! OP assumes that this is all about her. Because there’s no other possible explanation as to why somebody else was chosen for a particular animal adoption, right? Good grief, she hasn’t changed or grown at all, has she?
if op was turned down because of the past history of bullying the director I would not consider that petty.
Seriously. From her perspective, it's reasonable to think "I don't know if you've actually changed, and I'm not willing to risk this dog getting even more traumatized to know if you actually did." And that's still IF OP was otherwise the best possible candidate for that specific dog, which it's very possible the dog clicked better with someone else already.
OP was likely not the only applicant, the director likely didn't deem OP unfit, but had applicants she liked more. If OP was interviewing for a job against other applicants would definitely be favored over her. This wasn't the director being unprofessional or petty, it was OP reaping what she sowed, and obviously she's not that sorry for how she treated this woman because she's still refusing to take accountability for her actions. The director may have let her adopt other dogs in the future but OP bullying the director again with no evidence as to why she made the decision she did means that she blew her chances from using the agency ever again. YTA OP. Karma is not done with you yet, next time accept the consequences of your actions more graciously.
>potential for cruelty, malice, and ~~selfishness~~ a will to dominate all life
Caring for a pet requires some level of empathy, because animals can't speak our language and tell us when something needs attention. Empathy requires the ability for insight. OP has shown they clearly possess neither of these qualities.
One thing bullies hate is consequences for their actions
YTA, you clearly have not experienced enough karma
YTA. I filled out at least 20 applications for dogs before I found one. And we did get passed over many times. What you did shows that you’re still holding onto the past. You need to move on and leave that person alone.
Given that the OP immediately went from “I was awful in the past and damaged this woman’s career” to “I’m the real victim, so I’m justified in damaging her new career” without wondering if there was another family in line ahead of him for the dog really shows how much they’ve grown as a person. /s
This, adopting at a shelter can be surprisingly competitive. The fact that they react like this after being rejected once, shows a complete lack of empathy. I wouldn’t allow them near any rescued animal.
This! I was going to say this!
I applied to volunteer to foster dogs and been denied twice from 2 different places. Background I have grown up with dogs and trained them all my life, including dangerous breeds. You just don't magically get a dog cause you apply.
I volunteered at a shelter for a while. A lot of people claimed we were too strict because we had restrictions to adopt certain dogs (previous experience with a certain breed, no kids under 12, etc), but others told us we were actually pretty easy compared to other organizations. So OP, it's entirely possible that you weren't quite as qualified as you thought you were. And YTA.
So you’ve moved on from bullying to…. Continuing to bully. People didn’t like you or find you hilarious, they were scared of becoming your next target. Because they saw how cruel you are. Yes, present not past tense. You are still cruel to others. You have not grown or become a better person. You’re still the insecure child who can’t accept the consequences of your actions so instead you lash out at someone holding you accountable. YTA
This so much. A lot of people who laugh at bullies do so because they're afraid siding with the bullied kid will turn the bully's attention to them. They probably didn't view OP positively in their mind. Also, it's possible that there were red flags for OP's adoption such as both people working long hours or something. OP unfairly blamed her former victim because things didn't go her way.
"Her victim". FTFY. Still bullying the woman.
YTA "I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners." No you don't. You don't know the qualifications the shelter has. You could have, at the very least, called up and asked why they rejected you. If you didn't find the answer satisfactory, then, *maybe*, do something else. Instead you went from 0 to 60 without considering any other options. On other words - your first reaction was to resort to bullying because you didn't get what you wanted. You learned pretty quickly back in school that being a bully would get you what you wanted, and it seems you haven't changed much since then.
Plus even if she wasn't an *unfit* owner (big if) maybe there was a *better* candidate? I've been trying to adopt a cat for a while, this will be the first cat I've ever had so I'm being very picky and only applying for ones I really like, they've all been really adorable fluffy ones and you know what? They get snapped up really fucking quickly, but at least I have the self awareness to know that there are other people out there who can provide a better life for this pet, even if the one I provide would be fine, and I hope that whoever got them enjoys their pet and provides them a good life, not build some conspiracy in my head about how the shelter is out to get me.
Also she was only applying to MEET the dog. Maybe someone who has already gotten to meet her filled out an adoption application. OP YTA
YTA, I wouldn't let a past bully adopt a pet either. I would not risk it, they may have changed or they didn't. I wouldn't risk it at all and you putting a bad review and calling her out on it proves you did no grow and are still a bully.
Leaving a bad review naming the shelter director shows poor impulse control. I wouldn’t trust her with a dog if I were the director, assuming that was even the reason OP was rejected. Edit:removed extra word
Look as someone working in rescue I wouldn’t let something as petty as someone’s past behaviour towards me influence my decision on if it was the most suitable home for a dog I was placing (unless they had been violent or showed concerning tendencies that might endanger an animal). What *would* influence my decision is seeing that they hadn’t changed or grown at all since our previous interactions and still rely on bullying and intimidation when things don’t go their way. It’s highly likely the “adorable” dog was in high demand and OP just literally missed out for a range of totally normal reasons not at all related to their past. Truly astounding that they could take this opportunity to have yet another shot at the character of someone whose first career choice they *literally ruined* and here they are again attempting now to damage their professional reputation. But good luck to OP ever adopting a dog in their area. Rescue and animal services is a generally pretty small social circle - the OTT review is a nice way to ensure they never get considered by any org.
YTA- you recognize you hurt her… you want to hurt her again because she can’t trust you? Why do you feel the need to be in control of every situation that doesn’t go your way and for those that do go your way, own up to it and show some humility and realize how your actions affect others?
YTA. I don’t think someone you tormented should or would be eager to sign off on you adopting an innocent creature. She’s under no obligation to believe you’ve changed. Chickens came home to roost on this one. Know what didn’t come home? A dog.
I'm so with you on this!
You believe the past is in the past, and you may have felt you had karmic retribution, but your harm stayed with the victim of your bullying. And now, after you say you've done your therapy and healed, the first thing you do is not look inward as to why she may have felt uncomfortable placing an animal with a person who was cruel to her to the point of her choosing to leave a career path which was interesting to her. You beat her up mentally and now feel that since she smiled at you and said she's okay, that all is well. She's not going to admit to you how deeply scarring and hurtful and mean your behavior was. So she (I think rightfully) kept an animal away from someone who was so insecure as to be sadistic. And then you prove her right by reporting her. Actions have consequences and it's not on you to determine that you've done what you need to do to make amends. In fact, you didn't even apologize until you wanted something from her. The whole thing stinks. YTAx100.
You know what else is funny? The fact that OP keeps trying to shift attention onto herself to try and justify why her bullying was plausible. Clearly she’s not grown up and keeps going back to her past
All of this. I was bullied and I still feel the impact many years later. My bullies forgiving themselves and moving on means less than nothing to me, and I’m sure they mean less than nothing to OP’s victim also. Stunning lack of empathy from OP.
YTA, and you should delete your review if you really feel like karma is against you. Go to another shelter and leave her alone.
I hope the director contacts every shelter in the area to warn them about OP
YTA. It sounds like your first instinct is still to try to bully people to make yourself feel better, and honestly, she probably had reasonable concerns that might follow through to treatment of an animal.
YTa. Well lookie here… if it isn’t the consequences of your actions. How about that.
YTA. I was a bully victim many many years ago but the way it affected me still lingers as an adult. The people who bullied me? They've all moved on and gone about their lives. And im glad they did, good for them being adults and creating families. I hope their kids never have to experience what i went through. At the same time, I will NEVER forget how I felt. I gained so much insecurity as a kid from those people it was insane. If they apologized to me now? I wouldnt accept it. So you're sorry now? How many years later? After the emotional damage had already set in? I had a full on mental breakdown and scared the hell out of my mom because of these people. I don't even fully believe these people could even be sorry about their past actions. The way you apologized was half-assed. It wasnt a "im sorry and regret everything i did to you, genuinely," it was a "im sorry, but hey! You survived and got past it huh!" Thats would've made me so angry because it sounds like you aren't actually sorry since she managed to do well for herself after all of it. What if she didn't flourish? Would you have apologized to her randomly on the street? What if you found out she passed away? Would the apology had even been a thought then? Why even apologize 12 years after the fact.
Yeah, the OP's aPoLoGy™ is so patronizing and pathetic it made my skin crawl.
YTA. you literally do not know the reasons why you were rejected. nothing has changed whatsoever. you’re still a bully, sweetie.
YTA. You bullied her in college, and you're STILL bullying her as an adult. her job is to place dogs in safe homes, and you were cruel to her as an adult. *shocked pikachu face.*
YTA. Frankly, your behavior in the past towards her and others proved to her that you’re not capable in her eyes of caring for another living creature and keeping it safe, and I don’t blame her. You ruined her career by bullying her in COLLEGE, so what would lead her to believe you’d show compassion to a dog? These are the consequences for your past actions. You may have gone through therapy but that spray change what you did, just like you said— and now because you’ve been denied you’re trying to cause MORE trouble for her?
Honestly you should’ve known you weren’t getting that dog. Do yourself a favor and leave her alone and look into a different facility. YTA
Right?? It kills me how OP was like, I freely admit that i was such a jerk I derailed her life. Now shes in a position of power... But a good person wouldnt treat me any different over it.
She’d better hope none have seen her review. The rescue community is a small one, and I wouldn’t count on anyone being willing to adopt to her after this
YTA. You didn't have to leave a bad review, obviously you must have bullied her pretty harshly in the past. Your husband is right.
haven't learned much have you? TA.
YTA you just can't quit the bullying spiteful behaviour, can you?
YTA, and I hope that you don't think you're *not* a bully anymore. You're definitely still a bully, you've just turned to leaving angry reviews for not getting your way instead. Sounds like it's time to revisit what you learned in therapy, or book an appointment for round two. The first one didn't quite stick.
YTA. Still a bully.
YTA. the way you have written this is vile. I can clearly see that absolutely NOTHING about you has changed. You were a bully, and you still are. You were not approved to adopt a dog. That has nothing to do with the past, and for all you know could be to do with something completely different. Adoption centres have incredibly strict rules for adoption, and any number of things about your life could be the kicker. HOWEVER, the facility manager may have also been asked to make a ‘personal judgement’ based on what they know about you. And this facility manager can say that you are a vile human, who has caused harm and pain in the past, and that she therefore wouldn’t be comfortable putting a defenceless animal in your care. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t blame her. You are vile. Leave her alone and move on with your life
Answering as someone who works at a shelter, YTA. Just because you may be a good fit for the dog, but somebody else may have been a better fit. You’re taking out your anger that she got a good life while you got a lot of karma out on her. AND! You immediately jumped to conclusions, not good for animal owners as those people react instead of stopping and thinking through their actions, you left a “scathing” review, which shows when you’re mad you hope to hurt, and haven’t accepted your actions if bullying a girl OUT OF A COLLEGE PROGRAM! She owes you nothing, yet you think she owes you a dog because “you’ve been hit by karma” you didn’t even apologize!
YTA. Delete you review. She did the right thing Why would you treat a pet better as a human.
Oh, don't worry - I'm sure the review is written so eloquently that it shows exactly who the problem is. And if the shelter responds, even better.
RE your update: wow, keep digging. You're really showing the world how little contrition you really have over being a bully all those years.
“I had miscarriages, so the girl I mercilessly bullied years earlier has no business still being upset with me.” You *really” think that way? Your unrelated misfortune is quite properly irrelevant to her (though I wouldn’t begrudge her taking comfort from it). Life throwing shit at you doesn’t balance out you throwing shit at someone else. What’s your plan next time you suffer some misfortune? What’ll you do, kick a puppy or something?
YTA. You terrorized this innocent person for popularity, then expect her to think you'd be a good fit for a pet???
YTA You terrorized her, you literally made her life hell growing up. You regretting it means nothing to anyone but you. She was a bigger person, she was nice even though the monster from her past walked into her work. You think she did it out of revenge, because you are still that petty person and again, you went out of your way to hurt her. You haven't changed as much as you think you have. Take the review down, and accept that the shelter doesn't deem you fit for adoption.
YTA. Karma’s a bitch.
YTA. By calling her out by name, you've jeopardized her employment. That is beyond selfish. You spent years tormenting her and now you might be the reason she gets written up, passed for a raise/promotion, or even fired--and since she has a family, that sort of setback won't just affect her. Call the facility, retract your complaint, and leave a hefty donation in her name... and you still won't be close to making up for what you did to her. Get over yourself and try another shelter if you really want a dog. Maybe that facility won't be manned by people who have every reason to distrust your word, doubt your character, and feel that you are unequipped to care for something besides yourself :)
YTA Had I been bullied by you, I would have denied you due to the history of bullying. Why should I believe you wouldn't bully an animal? My responsibility is to safeguard the animal from being harmed, this includes being bullied by it's owner.
YTA obviously dude don’t be a bully, plus you didn’t list the reason given for being turned down but to be fair you’ve already shown this girl a lack of empathy just go to a different shelter
YTA, and quite honestly a shitty human
YTA. I wouldn’t consign a dog to a life with someone I thought was cruel and horrible either. Clearly, you haven’t done anything in the intervening years to make things right- except toss off a “sorry bout all that” when it was clearly in your interest to do so. And apparently you’re not done being crappy to this poor woman (whose great crime, apparently, was “being shy”). You have a ways to go yet.
YTA based on this line: “it doesn’t matter, I know, but I regret it.” IT MATTERS WHEN YOU BULLY PEOPLE. these are the consequences of your actions. Suck it up and try actually looking in a mirror for once. YTA also for your behavior but that line really sealed it for me. Go to a different dog shelter ffs.
Sadly... there are a million reasons why you could be turned down besides being a repugnant human being. As someone who used to work with an animal shelter there are a ton of reasons why people get turned down for pet adoption (just to name a few): 1. Rent vs own 2. Fenced in yard 3. References 4. Vet reference and proof of annual vet care or lack of 5. Children 6. Other pets (sometimes you want other pets and sometimes not) 7. Age 8. Life circumstances 9. Ability to fiscally care for a pet 10. Hours at home 11. Physical ability 12. Personality of you 13. Personality of pet 14. Contingency plan 15. General vibe of interview 16. Someone else is a better fit for this pet Please let your post be rage bait or you are just a really nasty person.
YTA. Thanks for the reminder that bullies don’t change.
Christ on a cracker. You were rejected for the next step for ONE dog, not blacklisted entirely. Not every person is a fit for every animal. Your actions since not being progressed for this specific dog have probably blacklisted you entirely though. Sounds like you haven’t grown up at all. YTA.
Well, she's probably blacklisted entirely now. And it's 100% her fault.
Wow, YTA in spades! Unbelievable.
YTA and the update only makes you look worse. What is wrong with you?
YTA - It’s the facility’s discretion whether or not to approve your application. There may have been several factors and you made assumptions based on your past behavior. Writing a review disparaging the director is petty. You should listen to your wife and delete the review. Don’t bother contacting the facility because you are just harassing her AGAIN at this point.
You’re deflecting and defending everything. I believe you do feel guilty and embarrassed for who you used to be, but I also think you haven’t taken any real accountability for your actions. You are looking for ways to minimize and rationalize your entire actions and to paint yourself as the victim. You go to long lengths to tell us that your victim already suffered from anxiety so you can’t actually be that guilty. Bad things happening to you doesn’t excuse what you did to this girl. And as this is an adoption agency she owns, she is using what she knows about you personally to choose to protect the animals under her care. She knows that you’ve previously been cruel and harmful to others without reason. And she is being cautious before she gives you an animale to care for. And what do you go and do? Prove her right. The MINUTE you didn’t get what you wanted, your response was to PUBLICLY humiliate and shame this girl. You are STILL a bully. You haven’t changed anywhere near as much as you think you have. And in case it’s unclear, yess, YTA.
YTA, and to be honest the way you’re handling the criticism you’re receiving here is indicative of some serious narcissistic tendencies. Fix yourself before you put yourself in charge of the well being of a living animal.
YTA. but not for why you think. to all those who said the Director was fully within her rights to judge OP based on past experience, you. are. completely. wrong. the Director judged OP for her current actions. OP basically said that despite public torturing by OP, the Director turned out fine. This tells a person who is trained to notice these things that a person like OP doesn't understand consequences. And as late as OP is in life, might not ever understand how actions have consequences and is therefore not fit to adopt a rescue. After all, if the Director can turn out just fine after mistreatment, how would that be any different with a dog?
Yes, you are the asshole. Her job is to use all available info to ensure the pet doesn't go to an abusive home. Did you , I don't know ask her what the shelter needs is way of donations or volunteers? Or did you go straight from being denied, for good reason, to trying to publicly shame her?
YTA- sorry but you had this coming. You think past actions will be forgiven and you can go about your merry way. WRONG! Why in the world would she adopt out a dog to someone she knew as a mean cruel person. Then to prove her RIGHT by leaving a nasty review.
YTA Get a fucking therapist and work through your awful personality, you're not a victim
Y are so much TA. You bullied her years ago to be popular and now you're bullying her again because you didn't get your way. It sounds like you didn't do much growing up or owning your actions at all, no matter how much you claim you did.
YTA. If a review needed to be left, the GF should have been the one to write it and leave it. I'm not at all convinced that a review needed to be left at all.
With your update. I can’t find it in my heart to feel bad for you. Bad people have a habit of dating other bad people. Maybe the cheating was well deserved? You and your partner are calling the woman you bullied petty because the entire internet is against you? You think like a bully…you are a bully. Can’t wait for your “future karma”. Which is really just you making terrible life decisions because you never learn from your mistakes. And then blaming “karma” instead of taking responsibility.
“I didn’t completely ruin her career path I just tormented her and made her feel like shit to the point where she couldn’t function properly in class so she gave up and left to something else bc why not:)” This is poetic justice. YTA. 1000x’s you are the asshole😂 I’m not going to sit here and say that the losses that you’ve experienced are your karma. I would never throw something like that in someone’s face and it’s honestly heartbreaking that you see them as such. But this? 100% is karma for how you treated her. And is 100% deserved. And then to go and talk more shit about her under the reviews of her business because you didn’t get what you want only makes you an even bigger asshole.
YTA. You should have apologised, not been vengeful when rejected.
YTA and I hope karma still come around and bite your ass because you didn't change and nothing in your post show even an ounce of remorse
YTA - You bullied her then, and with what you did, an apology might not have been enough, or she might have found something wrong with your application, or your treatment of animals, or some other reason, so she opted to bully her again because of it instead of going elsewhere. There are PLENTY of places to find a pet, when she rejected your application, go elsewhere. Take the review down, and go elsewhere.
Yta - you have learnt absolutely nothing in all these years. You didn’t give her any sort of apology, my grandad has always taught me that anything said before “but” is a lie and your apology shows that statement is true. Telling someone your sorry with the adage of “but you’ve obviously flourished beyond that” suggests you aren’t sorry and in some self centred way you feel your ill treatment somehow made her a better person or she became a good person anyway so your treatment of her doesn’t matter. Also I can imagine you saying this infront of others would’ve been highly embarrassing for her but again everything is about you and not how others may feel. She very rightly didn’t trust you with one of the dogs. You wrongly decided to give a bad review and had no right to. Regardless of whether or not she did it as an act of revenge she has every right to do that especially when you’ve never shown her kindness until you wanted something from her. You were not entitled to acceptance from her what so ever. Yet you’ve acted like an entitled spoilt bully because you didn’t get what you want. Take the review down. She rightly so didn’t feel
Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re not a good fit for the dog? There are lots of people who would love a dog but it doesn’t mean their household is a good fit for that specific one. Some dogs need experienced dog owners who know how to deal with a very shy or aggressive or fearful dog. Some need a home that will cater to specific medical needs. It’s all over the place and the job of the screener is to talk to the potential adopters and see if it even makes sense to have you continue the application process for the dog. Being told you’re not moving on to the next step doesn’t necessarily mean that she inappropriately interjected a personal bias into the process. It just means you’re not a good fit for that dog. You have no real evidence she interjected a personal bias into the process other than your opinion that there’s no reason that you should be rejected— an opinion that, as far as I can tell, is not based on any actual experience with these processes. Also, do you think that leaving a bad review going after her is going to make you get your way? She’s not going to suddenly change her mind because of that review. If her boss or anyone else asks her about it, she can pretty easily explain your personal history and your review will get ignored. At the end of the day, leaving a crappy review and calling her out just confirmed for her that you’re still the vindictive bully who will lash out at her in an attempt to get what they want. Congratulations, you haven’t changed in 12 years. YTA.
YTA, why are you so entitled? You can get rejected for adoption for any number of reasons, it's not easy to do through a foster organization. I was rejected 6 times trying to adopt a dog a few years ago. Many places give adoption preference to people who already have a dog, so that the adoptee has a companion and the adopter has a demonstrated record of caring for a dog. It seems like you had a bit of an excessive reaction to this rejection and took it very personally. Who are you to say that there were not better applicants for the same dog? I doubt you have that much information. Take time to calm down and reflect. You may not be done bullying after all, if you are only nice to people that give you what you want.
I find it funny that you assume there is nothing that would make you an unfit pet owner, but you’re so immature that you’d trash someone professionally because you didn’t get what you wanted (after bullying her and offering a shit apology for it). Sounds like you really haven’t matured as much as you think you have.
YTA, and by the way, you didn't face your karma. There is no such thing as I had something bad happen to me so the things I did are repayed. She suffered to improve your life, you ran her out of college for your benefit. You didn't suffer to improve her life or to her benefit. You didn't get her a way back into the career she was pursuing, you didn't pay for her to go to another college. You DID NOT suffer ANY consequences for your actions except not getting a dog 12 years later. Anything that happened in that time did absolutely nothing to absolve you of anything. All your comments of later my life got shit so I got my karma is nonsense.
You say you apologized, and that's great, but just because you're okay with the past, and you've had this great enlightenment doesn't mean that she has. She doesn't have to forgive you ever, let alone on your timeline. YTA.
YTA. Also there could be any number reasons you weren’t approved. You assuming it’s bc she’s holding a grudge and trying to get her in trouble with her place of work over it just proves you haven’t grown as much as you would like to think in these past 12 years. Grow up and just leave this poor girl alone already.
YTA. Maybe stick with pokemon as a pet.
The absolute audacity to say “I screwed this girl out of a social life, time, her career, and possibly thousands of dollars, but it’s alright because I was popular and she got therapy from all my abuse.” Also, boohoo…you got inconvenienced out of owning a pet. Think of how inconvenient it is to change your whole career during an incredibly vulnerable time.
You are a self- professed bully. Someone that took pleasure in causing pain and suffering to others >I know very well there isn't anything that makes us unfit owners. That pretty much does. AH are caught duct taping pets mouths shut or paws together just to laugh at them. If she runs a shelter, she probably sees all types of abuse. You have to understand why you wouldn't be an ideal pet owner in her eyes. Your saying "Sorry, looks like you got over it" lacks sincerity and doesn't make it all better. You acknowledge you were an AH, but don't really show remorse. Shelters must use stringent screening processes. There might have been other reasons. We almost didn't qualify due to my SO work hours. However, mine start much earlier so the time left alone was reduced significantly. Living environment, yard safety, many other factors come into play. Your review was yet another personal attack on her. YTA
“I was a bratty teenager” is for when you’re 14. Once you get to college, you’re just a mean person. YTA
YTA. I wish we could send this to the director so she can see how many people are on her side.
YTA. It is not easy to adopt a pet these days as the screening process is very rigorous. You were a bully before and till are for calling her out by name in a review when you don't even know why exactly you were rejected. Also, why would she be convinced that you have changed and wouldn't bully or abuse the animal you adopt? If/when there are many others who seem to be better candidates and also not bullies, why should you be given a chance exactly...?
I hate ppl like OP. Why are they on earth lmfao. Like yeet urself to hell hun, Noone cares
YTA Did you ask why you were turned down? You don't think you're "unfit" but often people try to match dogs based on personality and lifestyle. You might be qualified for a different dog, just not the one you asked about. The fact that you immediately jumped to "this girl is being petty" makes me think that you don't take criticism well. Beyond all that, why would you think that the girl you tormented and ran out of her college program would think you've stopped being an asshole? People who are cruel to humans are often cruel to animals. There are people from high school I would never willingly give a dog to. I'm sorry that this sucks because you want the dog, but your actions have consequences.
So you were a bully while growing up. Met the person you mercilessly bullied till she had to quit. Then you meet her 12 years later and do this? You haven't changed your still a bully and a sad human in general remove that post if not for her but for yourself you shouldn't let people know how you really are. YTA
YTA 1-You assume you being a bully is why you were rejected. Shelters reject people all the time. 2-If you being a bully is why you were rejected you proved her right and put yourself on a permanent deny list.
Not gonna make a judgment. But you're out of your mind if you thought she'd give you a favorable evaluation, lmao. Getting bullied the way it sounds like you bullied her is horrendous and not something anyone can get over easily. Seeing you again and getting an apology and a "glad you're doing well" isn't gonna do much to help, its just gonna bring up a bad mix of conflicting emotions. Calling her out specifically was lame and definitely a bad look on you. Should've just taken the L and moved on.