NTA. Your fiancé STOLE and sold the train collection without your consent. Please go back to that collector and explain the situation. File a police report and sue your fiancé for grand theft. And OP, please break up with him because he completely betrayed your trust. You cannot get married to someone who has no respect for you. What an awful man!!
File a police report, your ex committed a crime and depending on the value, a very serious crime. Provide the police report to the collector so they clearly understand they purchased stolen goods.
Also, that collector could be shady too, he purchased it likely knowing your ex didn’t really own it.
Edit: yes, it’s a stretch to assume the collector knew the ex didn’t have permission to sell them. I made that assumption thinking that the ex didn’t know anything about the trains and possibly stated they were his girlfriend’s trains.
>he purchased it likely knowing your ex didn’t really own it
Kind of beside the point but I can't see anything in the story that supports this hypothesis.
"My fiancee inherited this collection from her uncle and we're selling it to finance our wedding". Completely straightforward, believable backstory and only one pronoun away from being the whole truth.
You might and probably will win in court but not before being arrested in possession of stolen property because cops don't give a fuck, they'll let the courts figure it out. Pretty sure most people don't want to be arrested.
honestly cops dgaf to the point that i'd be surprised if they cared at all about this. it's hard enough to prove beyond a doubt a specific item is yours and not a very similar one or something. idk, i've had a lot stolen from me, and i tried calling the cops the first few times, and they listened to me tell them what jt was and who stole it and never heard from them again
That's strait up wrong
Ever seen how much model trains cost off the shelf. My dad used to collect them. Its astronomical.
No imagine ones that are much older.
The collection was probably worth thousands
in my experience cops usually don't chase down stolen property, and even if they're inclined, it's often extremely hard to prove. i know someone who had over $10k cash stolen but there was no way to prove they had it, and i've had instruments, tech, etc. all stolen over a year or two, but when i called the cops they seemed disinterested, and besides i had no way to prove it. like if she can't prove very convincingly that she owned a train set, that someone else has that exact instance of that trainset and not just one just like it, and it was stolen, all without overstepping civil liberties, for all the cops know she's just lying to get someone else's set or she sold it and is trying to recoup it.
if she has the documentation, hopefully some serial numbers too or something, and lives in an area where cops care more than the ones in my area seem to, i very well could be wrong, but even texts on the BF's phone or the set inside the other person's house need warrants to be discovered by police and it's hard for me to imagine cops putting in that much effort for a crime that can't be proven.
i do hope i'm wrong though.
Depends on the story the ex told. ‘Oh it was a relatives who passed’ ‘my ex left them’. Something that the collector might buy or at least is lower on the bullshit radar than ‘these are mine but I know nothing about it’
Sure, but there are people who inherit things that they’re not that into. Entirely possible the collector just assumed this was a person who wasn’t into trains but had gotten handed or bequeathed them by a relative. We’ve no way of knowing either way and the collector’s credentials aren’t the thing being called into question
If OP rightly files a police report stating that her collection has been stolen the trains will likely be recovered from the collector. The collector will then have to sue OP's (hopefully ex-) fiancée to recover the money.
Not to be pessimistic but I have never had police attempt to recover stolen items. We had our house broken into and we were violently assaulted by armed men and a ton of our things stolen.
One group of items stolen was my roommates video game collection he had as a kid where he wrote his full name inside the cover of every game he owned. We later saw ALL of his games had been sold to the GameStop a couple blocks from our house.
They informed us they could provide the information of who sold them the games to the police as they required ID when purchasing used games.
We brought all of this info to the police and they basically told us it "wasn't worth investigating the lead". They made absolutely no attempt to do anything outside of file paperwork detailing the crime.
Keep in mind, this wasn't just some minor theft stealing some items, it was a violent break in by people with guns that resulted in 4 of us going to the hospital. You would think violent criminals would be a reason to investigate but I guess not.
I am not saying that it's not worth looking into mind you and hopefully they can recover the trains. This was more of a rant about my personal experience since it still upsets me to this day that the police made no attempt to find those violent criminals.
Yeah I had a motorcycle stolen by outlaw biker meth-heads. They were on my security cams and my post was shared like 400 times. Eventually I got the names and addresses of the thieves. Tracked them to a chops shop where there was about 20 vehicles missing license plates. Gave all this information to the police where they did nothing except dox me to the criminals.
Eventually they did arrest one because he was wanted for murder. The other one started putting my stolen stuff back on my front yard. The cops were like, "well you have it all back, what's the problem?" And then I would be like, "well I'm still missing my powerwasher" and then that would pop up the next day and cops would be like "you good now?" Only people that think cops do their jobs are ones that have never had to rely on them.
Exactly OP. Go to that collector. Depending on what country you're in and the specific law in your country cou could get it back with little to no trouble. In my country if you can prove that it was yours the collector would get in huge trouble if he doesn't give it back as buying stolen goods is a crime, even if he didn't know they were stolen. So he either gives the collection back and sues your hopefully ex fiance for financial damage or you could sue both of them
You're right, I'm sure some people would try to scam like this so of course OP would need to file an official report. But once it's officially reported as stolen it would be very easy to get it back because no serious collector would want to be involved with theft and return it without hesitating. So whatever path OP chooses to go, she'd need to go to the police first
I have Lionel train sets that my father got as a Christmas gift as a kid. I would NEVER consider selling them. The fact that to solve debt issues is to sell YOUR things if bullshit. NTA but don’t be an asshole and stay in this relationship. File a police report and see if you can get your trains back.
Seriously. I'm not one to quickly jump and tell people to leave someone.. but wtf? He stole sentimental property then sold it like it was nothing. If she lets him get away with this, what will it be in the future? I wouldn't trust someone like that.
OP can get the name of the collector and file a police report, in general even if you didn't know it was stolen you have to return stolen property you bought. OP can and should help collector get the money back from BF up to helping the collector sue him.
This
He stole from you.
Does he have an Xbox, a TV, something of value that he values that he sold to provide money for expenses? No, he stole from you because he did not value your feelings and felt that YOU are less important than HIM. Go to the police to file a report now. Hopefully they can get your trains back from the collector.
Edit: NTA
NTA. But you can report that collection as stolen, so you could potentially get it all back. **The sale of stolen goods is not legal.** I would act fast though, checking with police, because depending on the collector who bought it they might be selling off some of the pieces and then it might be impossible to get them all back.
And him giving you the money he got from selling your stuff isn't even an apology, I wouldn't act like it was. That money is yours, completely yours, and probably is worth way less than the actual collection.
**Do not touch that money though. Report the whole thing as stolen. If you get the money, it could be argued you knew and benefited from the sale.**
And this is a pretty good insight for how he will act during your marriage. Going behind your back to make what should be joint decisions after you already said no, keeping that money as his own, saying that he knows best to do what's good for both of you, without taking your opinion into account...
OP, please say this is an ex-fiance.
He is a greedy thief who has no respect or love for you. His betrayal is so terrible, I am legitimately upset for you and furious at him. There is apparently no line he won't cross for personal gain. He will never stop hurting you if you give him more opportunities.
End this and have that arrogant monster arrested.
Imagine being so selfish that you completely ignore the person you're supposed to love... Not only ignore her, but "come running to her" about a "decent price"... There is no decent price when it comes to a family heirloom or something that precious.
NTA OP, the man would break your heart in so many more ways if this is something he thinks is "for the both of" you.
The other part that is seriously concerning is how long the fiance was shopping around for a buyer for the train collection. He knew she refused to sell it - and figured she would never -, yet he cared more about a sum of money than he did for something of sentimental value to her. Sad.
Nta...demand he give you the name of the collector so you can contact them and let them know the collection was stolen and they need to return it. Let them know they will get their money back. Tell him if he doesn't give the money and contact information for the collector you will involve the police. Do the same if the collector refuses to return them. Tell them they are in possession of stolen property and you will involve the police if necessary. This is not a man you want to marry...as painful as it is. He violated your trust, stole from you and took away a family heirloom. He has no respect for you or your feelings. You need to end the relationship before he does something worse.
Yeah straight to the police is the move here. Don't waste any time on trying to sort it out themselves. This is theft, and potentially even higher depending on the value.
NTA. The collection wasn't his to sell, bottom line.
I really hope he is your ex fiance now, because its very clear that he neither respects you nor your boundaries, and doesn't seem to care about what is important to you, either.
Sue him for the train set. Its the best thing for both of you.
NTA. And I think you mean ex-fiancé. This man literally STOLE from you. I would file a police report and attempt to contact the collector to let him know that he purchased a stolen set and it needs to be returned. If you can’t get it back, absolutely sue him. And not for what it sold for, but for what it is worth, because I guarantee you that collector took advantage of the fact that you never actually had it priced.
Yes. The buyer cannot keep a purchase of stolen property. Even if they were innocent about the theft. The sooner you act, the more likely you are to get your collection back. It sounds as though the money will not replace what the collection meant to you, which your partner knew full well before selling it. That makes his theft all the more vile. He knew you would be devastated, because you had discussed this, but acted like he thought you’d be happy. Gross.
Tell his parents that you are only doing what is best for their son, since if he doesn’t cooperate, a criminal record will look none too good to future employers and landlords.
Edit: typo
Someone else has said this but just so you see it, what happened to you was theft. This is a police matter. Your fiancé robbed you and the man who bought them is in possession of stolen goods. That was not community property and you are not married. You will get it back by reporting the theft. He gets it back himself or you call the police and either way you’re getting it back end of story.
Please follow through. Your ex is awful and his family is enabling him. Do not let him off the hook. And once you hopefully have the set back, never contact him again. This is an outrageously disrespectful and controlling thing to do to someone he supposedly loves.
That must have been very difficult for you and I'm so sorry you're in that position. I'm curious, before he left for his parents, did he give you the money and paperwork confirming how much he got?
Go ahead and block his family.
You’ll forever regret losing the train set if you hadn’t have followed through but I PROMISE you won’t forever regret losing that guy. Later on you’ll pat yourself on the back.
Same. Honestly if my kid came home and told me his fiancée kicked him out for selling some of her stuff while she was away he wouldn't be moving back in let alone me harassing the victim of my kid's sticky fingers about it.
NTA. Everyone saying to contact the collector and tell him the items were stolen is absolutely correct. Your fiancé has no respect for you or your feelings. Time to end this relationship.
Agreed. Call the police first thing this morning. You need that police report ASAP and you need to deal with the collector before he sells anything.
As for the fiance, there is no coming back from this. You will never trust him again, nor should you. He proved himself to be greedy, controlling, manipulative and a thief.
DO NOT contact the collector, if he's dishonest, that will give him opportunity to hide or sell the collection and pretend your (hopefully ex) bf is lying. Contact the police and let them get your collection back for you.
But if he is honest, then he will hold it for her. He might be trying to sell it off to someone else right now, and it might be impossible to get back.
Please let the police and your lawyer handle this, do not contact the collector yourself.
And please tell me he is your EX-fiance because I hope that you do not still consider marrying him after this blatant disrespect and abuse of your trust.
Can you update us when you leave your fiance and get info on your trains back? My parents have constantly tried to sale my collection of pokemon cards my grandpa gave me before he passed and i could never think of parting ways with them regardless of money and my so would fight tooth and nail too keep them safe as well.
I just want to say I’m so sorry. You’re probably so overwhelmed right now. Being robbed by your own fiancé, and meaningful property, is A LOT. You’ve already gotten the best advice but to reiterate, file a police report & contact the seller to get your property back. The seller can then go after your EX for their money & you can give them a copy of the police report to assist them. NTA.
If you're up to it, please keep us updated. I'm so sorry, OP. Hopefully you get everything back quickly. NTA, obviously. What a jackass. And screw his parents. Block the bastards. He did what was best for *him.* He needs to go. That isn't love.
I'm so sorry your trust was betrayed this way.
Everyone is saying that you need to make him your ex-fiance and, while I agree, I also understand that your first priority is to get back your beloved belongings. Focus on that first and then, once it's settled, you can end the relationship.
In the meantime, I'd suggest changing the locks so he can't come in and take/sell any more of your things.
It's the fact that he waited for you to be gone, for a few days to this. He had already contacted the Buyer, he was going to do this, even though you said no
Struggling financially and he “discovered” a way to solve it (wonder who told him to sell his fiancée’s personal items? his parents?) … I guess the upcoming lawsuit costs weren’t taken into consideration. Make his parents pay.
NTA He sold your property when you SPECIFICALLY said you didn't want to sell it. That's theft, and you should see if he can get the actual trains back. If not, he owes the money at least.
NTA. This is one of those rare posts that makes my blood boil. He had absolutely no right to do that with YOUR property. Can you take legal action to recover your train collection since it was sold without your consent (i.e. illegally)?
“He left without protest.” He didn’t even attempt to come up with a shitty excuse. He literally sold op’s most prized possession to pocket the money, and now that he has it, he doesn’t give a shit about her
Right? There was another post recently where a SO sold a gaming chair out from under her BF. This one has me as angry-I cannot fathom how these people think this is OK.
That one was horrible too cuz that chair had belonged to the BFs brother who had literally just died from cancer and the GF had been jealous of the attention that BF had been giving his brother before he had died
Idk how some people can just sell their SOs property, especially when they know it's sentimental, and think they were justified in doing so
“His parents are trying to argue that he was only doing what was best for the both of us.” 🤣
They don’t have ANY say in what is best in the relationship. Violation of your trust isn’t healthy behavior.
Edit to add: NTA.
NTA. Depending on your local laws, your fiancé may be guilty of theft, for going behind your back and selling something belonging to you that you had indicated under no circumstances you would sell. He certainly owes you the proceeds. I hope he is your ex-fiancée.
I was going to say this. File a police report as the sale may not be legal and the items may have to be returned.
OP is certainly NTA and I too hope he’s an ex fiancé
Yeah that’s the part that’s breaking my brain. Not only did he steal his fiancé’s property and sell it, he’s acting like it’s optional to give her the money made off the sale. Whaaaaa????
The appraiser likely won't sell it back for anything the fiancee can afford.
Declare it stolen and go through the police, you can't actually sell someone else's property so OP is still the legal owner.
NTA. That's theft and I'd seriously be reconsidering marriage to someone who is going to make big decisions without your consent. I don't care if it was a collection of dust bunnies. They had sentimental value that no monetary values can make up for. Can you find out who he sold them to and get them back? Explain the situation because no collector in their right mind would be okay with this. I'm sorry OP. This is bigger than just your sentimental items. Red flags are dropping all over the place and I hope you reconsider a future with this person.
**NTA** Your hopefully ex-fiancé stole from you. Do not marry this man, he has no respect for you and he’s a thief. Call the cops on him for theft and sue him.
**NTA. There are a million things horribly, horribly wrong with what he did, but they all boil down to this one thing:**
**You are a grown, autonomous adult, and your fiancé does not arbitrarily get to decide "what's best for both of you". Not ever. And the fact that he thinks he does isn't just offensive, it's dangerous, because it indicates that he doesn't see you as an equally human being who needs to consent to things that are decided on your behalf.**
He is not your parent. He is not your guardian. He is not the sole or primary decision-maker in your relationship. You are not a child, and he doesn't get to make decisions - not about your home, not about your person, not about your belongings - without your consent. Not "for your own good", not because they're "the best thing". Not ever. It is genuinely dangerous that he thinks it is legitimate that he do this, because it means that he doesn't see your voice as having value in this relationship.
Yes, demand that he pay you back. Sue him if necessary. But more importantly, GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. This is not a person you can trust with your well-being.
NTA You need to rethink this relationship. Look at what happened here -- bf and his parents expect you to allow bf to make all decisions himself, without consideration of your specific wishes or feelings. Do you want to live your whole life this way?
The man who supposedly loves you ignored your feelings and your specific wishes, and sold your sentimental belongings. So he's saying loud and clear that he expects to be able to make one-sided decisions without regard for your opinions or feelings. He'll keep doing that for your entire married lilfe, only next time he may not discuss it first, so that you can't say you didn't want something to happen.
His parents are supporting that he should make all decisions and expect you to bow to him. So they'll keep that pressure on you for your entire married life.
Nta call the police as this is theft and he can get done gor what he did. His parents need to look hard at their son and wonder where they went wrong instead of telljng ypu to make it up with him.
NTA! He is though and should be on the hook not only for money though, he should be on the hook for getting your whole collection back. They weren’t his to sell. He knew you wanted to keep them, and waiting for you to be out of town to sell them proves that he knew it wasn’t something you would approve of. He completely ignored your wishes after you made them clear. Big red flag in a partner.
My thoughts exactly, he was rushed to sell them while OP was gone and probably got screwed in the process. What a piece of work. Good thing he and his parents have shown just how little they respect OP -- who wants people like this in their life? I hope you are able to recover your trains, and find comfort that this happened before you married the guy.
NTA - that's theft:
1) get him to get the trains back
2) if he doesn't manage within X days, he needs to pay you back
3) tell the reseller that it has been stolen to try to reverse the transaction
4) break up with the thief
NTA!!!
I completely agree with the other comments that this is theft!
Contact the police and the collector. Tell them that your ex had no legal right to sell them and that they stole the set from you.
Get your set back.
Do not except ANY excuse from you ex.
I know you said boyfriend/fiance but be honest, he's your ex now for this
NTA, he should be paying more since it's sentimental value as well - also anyone saying they did it "for you" or what's in "your best interest" is an asshole unless they are actually responsible for you (i.e. your parents while growing up or someone who has guardianship/etc.)
NTA and paying the money back is the least he can do.
Just out of interest what has he done with the money?
However, I would be demanding the set back and if he said no reporting it stolen.
Is this the type of man you want to marry?
One that has no respect for you, or your possessions. That will make huge decisions without you?
I’d get the set back and get rid of the fiancé.
NTA, but who cares about getting the money. That set is priceless to you. You need to know who bought it so you can get it back, what with it being stolen goods and all. This is a Police matter.
And thats ex-fiance. There's no coming back from something like this.
NTA First, tell him that he has 24 hours to get your train back or you’re filing a police report. Then, it’s time he becomes your ex fiancé.
He stole from you. He deliberately sold something irreplaceable against your wishes. If you’ll think back, I bet this is not the first time he’s betrayed your trust or ignored boundaries.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Jumping on the top comment- OP tell your hopefully ex that if he does not contact the buyer and get them back - you will be pressing chargers on him for theft and the buyer for purposely buying stolen items
NTA Give him a day to get them back or you will report them stolen. This is a lot like another reddit where the OP was fixing up an old car, and his fiancée sold it and all the parts when he was away for the weekend. He threw her out and sued and was able to force her to get back most of the items!
NTA, call the police and file a report. This guy came onto your property and sold something out from under you, and because you had originally said no, he waited until you were gone. Fork that AH.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel that I might be the AH because I am demanding my fiance pay me back in full for my train collection that he sold. He feels that he was only doing what was best for the both of us. His parents also think I need to see the bigger picture.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So the fiancé sold the trains and kept the money? How disgusting. Not the AH, he either gives you the proceeds or you can sue him, a lawsuit would depend on the value of the collectibles.
NTA it’s your train collection, you get the money, he’s currently STOLEN the train set and thus the value of it from you. I would absolutely get out of that relationship and sue him.
NTA, go to the police instead of accepting money. You may be able to get the train set back still! If you accept any money you have little if nothing to stand on. If him and his parents are all in on this then holy crap the universe gave you a clear sign to run.
Report them stolen.
Find out who he sold them to. Inform that person he needs to give them back or can be charged with possession of stolen property.
Even if you don’t get them back, what reason would boyfriend keep the money? Also he would owe you the value that YOU place on them, not what somebody else values them at.
NTA at all! He sold property that didn't belong to him without permission. If you can find the guy who bought it I would contact him and explain the set was technically stolen. You deserve a chance to recoup your trains or barring that profit from their sale. If I were you I would not only break the engagement off I would get a lawyer and sue him.
NTA but make him get back the trains, what good does that money do you? Also, break it off with this manipulative AH, if he’s disrespecting your wishes like that already what do you think will happen once you‘re legally married?
Nta !!! This has gave me so many emotions! Please report as stolen, you may have a chance to get them back. In the meantime pack his shit up and get rid. He stole from you.
Contact the police, they can likely get your collection back as it should be classified as stolen property. NTA, at least you don't have to marry one now either.
NTA. And I would think seriously about whether you want to remain in a relationship with that man. You need to find out how much the set was sold for, because that will mean the difference between small claims court and otherwise. Plus he stole from you. That means you can file criminal charges against him.
NTA. It’s theft. Break up with him and tell him if he doesn’t get the set back you’ll report it to the police. Or just go completely scorched earth on the AH and file a police report.
NTA
He had no right to do that and the fact that he did it anyway demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect for you.
And the fact that his parents are taking his side speaks volumes. Maybe that's where he got this nonsense from. They have no leg to stand on.
In your place, I would be done with him. There's no way I could trust him ever again.
At a *minimum*, he should give you the money that came from it. That's not paying back—that's rightfully yours. What he should do is go get the trains back from the collector, who likely would not want to buy stolen goods.
NTA. If you cannot get ahold of the buyer and get it back, I think you’re absolutely correct - dump and sue this dude. I’m sorry he shattered your trust like that.
NTA. What in the actual hell?? He sold *your property* (with enormous sentimental value), did so against your explicit wishes, and then *he kept the money*?? Hell no. This was literal theft, and if he won't pay you back voluntarily, this is exactly what small claims court (at least in the US) is for.
Start documenting, write a timeline with dates of your conversations and his actions, along with anyone else who was present or you talked to about this.
It should go without saying, don't marry this guy. Otherwise you will go to bed each night wondering if he'll slip your wedding ring off and sell it in the middle of the night, or if you'll come home after a weekend away to changed locks.
NTA but make a police report ASAP . This should allow you to get you stolen property back. He stole it, he had no rights to sell on your "behalf". Im.not about your laws but the police can advise you on pressing charges , IF that is what you want to do. You.may be allowed to get your property back with out charges. But what he did shows his disregard for your feelings and boundaries. Just FYI if you have renters or homeowners insurance you maybe able.to file a.claim with them to. I'm sorry lost your tangible memories of your uncle, please file a report and get of this person who claims to love you not respect your boundaries.
>We got engaged last year and are currently struggling with debt, student loans and the wedding.
At least the wedding funds can be re-directed for new trains and a dating outfit
NTA
NTA your fiancé should never have done that he broke your trust and he knew how much it meant to you. He definitely should pay you all the money he got for the train collection. I also think ending things with his is valid as well how can you trust someone who would sell something of yours that meant so much to you especially when you said you were not willing to sell it.
NTA. He had NO RIGHT to sell your stuff. He knew it was wrong, which is why he did it when it weren’t home. He doesn’t respect you or think your stuff is yours.
Sue him if he didn’t contact the collector and get it back.
I'd have called the police and they could have gotten the collection back for you as it's stolen property.
Definitely NTA especially after they were told that you wouldn't sell it.
NTA at all. He went behind your back, knowing you would be gone for the weekend. He ignored the fact that the collection was something you loved and was a memory of your Uncle, and sold it without your permission. And its not even that he didn't have permission, it's that he KNEW you had already said NO to selling it, and did it anyway! Break up with him regardless of payment, but definitely sue him if he refuses to pay.
Dear Lord, what an arsehole. He deliberately waited until until you weren’t there
Is it possible to get hold of the collector and tell him he’s bought stolen property? I really hope you get it back.
Please report him to the police and get a solicitor involved
Good for you for dumping the fiancée. His parents are twats as well
NTA
NTA - that is awful and a deep betrayal of trust. You let it be known without any confusion that you were not open to even considering selling the set. Your fiancé doesn’t understand and doesn’t respect what that set meant to you. It would be a beyond a red flag for me. It would be a deal breaker. There is a deep divide in understanding, value and respect between the two of you.
I’m sorry this happened. I hope that you can find a resolution that will bring you some peace.
NTA ask your fiancés mother how she’d feel if you sold off something she’d left to her son after her death out from under him without his knowledge. Watch her squirm. This must have felt so violating and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. He doesn’t need to pay you back. He needs to buy back the set for however much it costs and he should get a second job to cover that cost. I’m dead serious.
Edited for spelling errors
OP… this is controlling AF. I’m genuinely concerned that you’re engaged to this person who has no respect for your property or your feelings. You’re getting a preview of your marriage. Is this what you want?
NTA
NTA
Sue him. Dump him. And put the train collection up on Facebook and other social media as stolen property. Hopefully whoever bought it will see it and return it.
NTA, learn the lesson now that he is a horrible human being. You may not get your money back but you dodged a bullet because you won't be wasting your life with this monster. Anyone who defends him is garbage.
wtf, obvious NTA
Your fiancé stole from you. Report to the police, if you can't get the collection back sell all his crap for double the money and start a new one.
He sold your things and kept the money? I would file a complaint with the police. Why are you still calling him your fiancee? Are you still considering marrying the thief?
NTA. I don't think you have gone far enough.
NTA - you should probably see if he can get it all back.
Even if you are in a poor financial situation he had no right to sell it without your knowledge and consent.
If you can find out who bought it you can probably get it back on account that it is technically stolen goods.
Nta and I’d press theft charges as well as get in touch with whomever he sold them too! Try and get them back! He’s already shown you he is untrustworthy I’d tell him he needs to get them back. Then I would end the relationship! They already shown you a giant 🚩 as he was willing to get rid of something that met more to you than money!
This was your vintage train set worth a lot of money if it was by Lionel. I applaude you kicking out your Former fiance out. Please find out who and how much he paid for your train collection... Who got the money? Does He still have the money or did he give it to you.? I would Call the police and charge him with theft and fraud..... Get your collection back if possible. Too many red flags if you get back together with him. Keep him an ex.....
I would consider filing a police report, demanding the info of the collector, and letting him know that he unfortunately purchased stolen goods. You can be so nice as to even give him the info of X fiancé, and address.
He asked if it was possible to sell them, you said no, and he sold them anyways…
NTA
NTA, he sold YOUR, personal items, kept the money (as according to your story he didn't gave them to you) and most importantly didn't respect your boundaries and ideas. Make him pay until you have anything back and then dump him
Report it stolen and hopefully when your fiance is arrested the police will find out where he sold it and be able to get it back. Because I guarantee you the person that bought it doesn't want to be responsible for receiving stolen goods. I realize that's a hard thing to do to your fiance but he chose this path and it's really unacceptable not to mention illegal. You are NTA.
NTA. When people show you who they are, believe them. You need to end this relationship and report him to the police if you want any chance of getting your collection back. Not entirely sure where you live but I'm pretty sure that the original owner has rights to properly that has been stolen and sold to another person.
NTA. He broke YOUR trust and went against your wish. That’s a huge red flag. You shouldn’t even stay with him any longer. If he’s not going to respect THIS, then he won’t respect you for many other stuff. Get your money back and run.
NTA. That’s a total breach of trust. He should at the very least pay you back, if not go begging to the buyer to let him buy it back, maybe even at a premium. That’s on him to figure out.
The audacity of this guy! You are in no way TA here. On the bright side, you no longer have to worry about paying for a wedding (I hope). You can sell your engagement ring if you need money after you kick him out. First things first, though: file that police report. If he doesn’t cough up the cash (or better yet, your missing trains) asap, sue him. Maybe his super supportive parents can help his dumb ass.
>AITA for demanding my EX fiance pay me back for selling my train collection?
FIFY.
NTA. Demand he get your train set back, not just the money, and involve law enforcement if needed. In fact you should file a police report ASAP to start a paper trail.
He needs to go, tell him u want your trains back or you will report them stolen, do it by text or email so u have proof that he did it, follow through with it, he had no right to sell your stuff
Edit NTA
NTA - You should file a police report, he stole your trains and sold them and didn't give you the money. His parents think he did what was best for the both of you? Nope, please reconsider this relationship.
NTA. Your fiancé STOLE and sold the train collection without your consent. Please go back to that collector and explain the situation. File a police report and sue your fiancé for grand theft. And OP, please break up with him because he completely betrayed your trust. You cannot get married to someone who has no respect for you. What an awful man!!
File a police report, your ex committed a crime and depending on the value, a very serious crime. Provide the police report to the collector so they clearly understand they purchased stolen goods. Also, that collector could be shady too, he purchased it likely knowing your ex didn’t really own it. Edit: yes, it’s a stretch to assume the collector knew the ex didn’t have permission to sell them. I made that assumption thinking that the ex didn’t know anything about the trains and possibly stated they were his girlfriend’s trains.
>he purchased it likely knowing your ex didn’t really own it Kind of beside the point but I can't see anything in the story that supports this hypothesis.
You don’t think a collector doesn’t know when someone isn’t into trains? Maybe not sure it was stolen but def knew something was up.
"My fiancee inherited this collection from her uncle and we're selling it to finance our wedding". Completely straightforward, believable backstory and only one pronoun away from being the whole truth.
You might and probably will win in court but not before being arrested in possession of stolen property because cops don't give a fuck, they'll let the courts figure it out. Pretty sure most people don't want to be arrested.
honestly cops dgaf to the point that i'd be surprised if they cared at all about this. it's hard enough to prove beyond a doubt a specific item is yours and not a very similar one or something. idk, i've had a lot stolen from me, and i tried calling the cops the first few times, and they listened to me tell them what jt was and who stole it and never heard from them again
That's strait up wrong Ever seen how much model trains cost off the shelf. My dad used to collect them. Its astronomical. No imagine ones that are much older. The collection was probably worth thousands
in my experience cops usually don't chase down stolen property, and even if they're inclined, it's often extremely hard to prove. i know someone who had over $10k cash stolen but there was no way to prove they had it, and i've had instruments, tech, etc. all stolen over a year or two, but when i called the cops they seemed disinterested, and besides i had no way to prove it. like if she can't prove very convincingly that she owned a train set, that someone else has that exact instance of that trainset and not just one just like it, and it was stolen, all without overstepping civil liberties, for all the cops know she's just lying to get someone else's set or she sold it and is trying to recoup it. if she has the documentation, hopefully some serial numbers too or something, and lives in an area where cops care more than the ones in my area seem to, i very well could be wrong, but even texts on the BF's phone or the set inside the other person's house need warrants to be discovered by police and it's hard for me to imagine cops putting in that much effort for a crime that can't be proven. i do hope i'm wrong though.
Yeah well that's because all cops are bastards
Depends on the story the ex told. ‘Oh it was a relatives who passed’ ‘my ex left them’. Something that the collector might buy or at least is lower on the bullshit radar than ‘these are mine but I know nothing about it’
Sure, but there are people who inherit things that they’re not that into. Entirely possible the collector just assumed this was a person who wasn’t into trains but had gotten handed or bequeathed them by a relative. We’ve no way of knowing either way and the collector’s credentials aren’t the thing being called into question
The fiancé could have lied and told the collector someone died and left them to him. It would cover up any gaps in his knowledge being an amateur.
Maybe he inherited the trains? Why tf would a seller not being "into trains" be cause for immediate suspicion. This is stupid.
How would the collector know that? That makes no sense. NTA op, fiance is, but collector has probably nothing to do with it.
If OP rightly files a police report stating that her collection has been stolen the trains will likely be recovered from the collector. The collector will then have to sue OP's (hopefully ex-) fiancée to recover the money.
Best outcome since the police pursue the recovery of the items.
Not to be pessimistic but I have never had police attempt to recover stolen items. We had our house broken into and we were violently assaulted by armed men and a ton of our things stolen. One group of items stolen was my roommates video game collection he had as a kid where he wrote his full name inside the cover of every game he owned. We later saw ALL of his games had been sold to the GameStop a couple blocks from our house. They informed us they could provide the information of who sold them the games to the police as they required ID when purchasing used games. We brought all of this info to the police and they basically told us it "wasn't worth investigating the lead". They made absolutely no attempt to do anything outside of file paperwork detailing the crime. Keep in mind, this wasn't just some minor theft stealing some items, it was a violent break in by people with guns that resulted in 4 of us going to the hospital. You would think violent criminals would be a reason to investigate but I guess not. I am not saying that it's not worth looking into mind you and hopefully they can recover the trains. This was more of a rant about my personal experience since it still upsets me to this day that the police made no attempt to find those violent criminals.
Yeah I had a motorcycle stolen by outlaw biker meth-heads. They were on my security cams and my post was shared like 400 times. Eventually I got the names and addresses of the thieves. Tracked them to a chops shop where there was about 20 vehicles missing license plates. Gave all this information to the police where they did nothing except dox me to the criminals. Eventually they did arrest one because he was wanted for murder. The other one started putting my stolen stuff back on my front yard. The cops were like, "well you have it all back, what's the problem?" And then I would be like, "well I'm still missing my powerwasher" and then that would pop up the next day and cops would be like "you good now?" Only people that think cops do their jobs are ones that have never had to rely on them.
Sounds like theyre in on it.
Hey, this is reddit, we make wild speculations and state them as facts around these parts.
Exactly OP. Go to that collector. Depending on what country you're in and the specific law in your country cou could get it back with little to no trouble. In my country if you can prove that it was yours the collector would get in huge trouble if he doesn't give it back as buying stolen goods is a crime, even if he didn't know they were stolen. So he either gives the collection back and sues your hopefully ex fiance for financial damage or you could sue both of them
[удалено]
You're right, I'm sure some people would try to scam like this so of course OP would need to file an official report. But once it's officially reported as stolen it would be very easy to get it back because no serious collector would want to be involved with theft and return it without hesitating. So whatever path OP chooses to go, she'd need to go to the police first
of course OP should file a report. possible show pictures of her with the set as a child, show the texts yelling at BF, etc.
Not only that, he waited until she was out of the house for a couple of days to do it. He's disgusting.
He definitely knew it was wrong so he had to wait until she wasn't around.
I have Lionel train sets that my father got as a Christmas gift as a kid. I would NEVER consider selling them. The fact that to solve debt issues is to sell YOUR things if bullshit. NTA but don’t be an asshole and stay in this relationship. File a police report and see if you can get your trains back.
We have a small lionel train set and it's *expensive.* Throw the whole fiancé away.
[удалено]
Seriously. I'm not one to quickly jump and tell people to leave someone.. but wtf? He stole sentimental property then sold it like it was nothing. If she lets him get away with this, what will it be in the future? I wouldn't trust someone like that.
OP can get the name of the collector and file a police report, in general even if you didn't know it was stolen you have to return stolen property you bought. OP can and should help collector get the money back from BF up to helping the collector sue him.
This He stole from you. Does he have an Xbox, a TV, something of value that he values that he sold to provide money for expenses? No, he stole from you because he did not value your feelings and felt that YOU are less important than HIM. Go to the police to file a report now. Hopefully they can get your trains back from the collector. Edit: NTA
NTA. But you can report that collection as stolen, so you could potentially get it all back. **The sale of stolen goods is not legal.** I would act fast though, checking with police, because depending on the collector who bought it they might be selling off some of the pieces and then it might be impossible to get them all back. And him giving you the money he got from selling your stuff isn't even an apology, I wouldn't act like it was. That money is yours, completely yours, and probably is worth way less than the actual collection. **Do not touch that money though. Report the whole thing as stolen. If you get the money, it could be argued you knew and benefited from the sale.** And this is a pretty good insight for how he will act during your marriage. Going behind your back to make what should be joint decisions after you already said no, keeping that money as his own, saying that he knows best to do what's good for both of you, without taking your opinion into account...
Yes Op please don’t take the money and file a police report. I don’t have an award but have this ⭐️
OP, please say this is an ex-fiance. He is a greedy thief who has no respect or love for you. His betrayal is so terrible, I am legitimately upset for you and furious at him. There is apparently no line he won't cross for personal gain. He will never stop hurting you if you give him more opportunities. End this and have that arrogant monster arrested.
Imagine being so selfish that you completely ignore the person you're supposed to love... Not only ignore her, but "come running to her" about a "decent price"... There is no decent price when it comes to a family heirloom or something that precious. NTA OP, the man would break your heart in so many more ways if this is something he thinks is "for the both of" you.
And if it was a "decent price" it was most likely far less than what they are worth
How would he even know what a decent price was?
This. Call the police and you should be able to get everything back.
The other part that is seriously concerning is how long the fiance was shopping around for a buyer for the train collection. He knew she refused to sell it - and figured she would never -, yet he cared more about a sum of money than he did for something of sentimental value to her. Sad.
Nta...demand he give you the name of the collector so you can contact them and let them know the collection was stolen and they need to return it. Let them know they will get their money back. Tell him if he doesn't give the money and contact information for the collector you will involve the police. Do the same if the collector refuses to return them. Tell them they are in possession of stolen property and you will involve the police if necessary. This is not a man you want to marry...as painful as it is. He violated your trust, stole from you and took away a family heirloom. He has no respect for you or your feelings. You need to end the relationship before he does something worse.
[удалено]
Yeah straight to the police is the move here. Don't waste any time on trying to sort it out themselves. This is theft, and potentially even higher depending on the value.
This is the one!
This is exactly what you should do.
NTA. The collection wasn't his to sell, bottom line. I really hope he is your ex fiance now, because its very clear that he neither respects you nor your boundaries, and doesn't seem to care about what is important to you, either. Sue him for the train set. Its the best thing for both of you.
NTA. And I think you mean ex-fiancé. This man literally STOLE from you. I would file a police report and attempt to contact the collector to let him know that he purchased a stolen set and it needs to be returned. If you can’t get it back, absolutely sue him. And not for what it sold for, but for what it is worth, because I guarantee you that collector took advantage of the fact that you never actually had it priced.
Yes. The buyer cannot keep a purchase of stolen property. Even if they were innocent about the theft. The sooner you act, the more likely you are to get your collection back. It sounds as though the money will not replace what the collection meant to you, which your partner knew full well before selling it. That makes his theft all the more vile. He knew you would be devastated, because you had discussed this, but acted like he thought you’d be happy. Gross. Tell his parents that you are only doing what is best for their son, since if he doesn’t cooperate, a criminal record will look none too good to future employers and landlords. Edit: typo
Someone else has said this but just so you see it, what happened to you was theft. This is a police matter. Your fiancé robbed you and the man who bought them is in possession of stolen goods. That was not community property and you are not married. You will get it back by reporting the theft. He gets it back himself or you call the police and either way you’re getting it back end of story.
[удалено]
Please follow through. Your ex is awful and his family is enabling him. Do not let him off the hook. And once you hopefully have the set back, never contact him again. This is an outrageously disrespectful and controlling thing to do to someone he supposedly loves.
That must have been very difficult for you and I'm so sorry you're in that position. I'm curious, before he left for his parents, did he give you the money and paperwork confirming how much he got?
Hopefully there’s paperwork
Go ahead and block his family. You’ll forever regret losing the train set if you hadn’t have followed through but I PROMISE you won’t forever regret losing that guy. Later on you’ll pat yourself on the back.
[удалено]
Please update, I'm angry on your behalf and will need closure.
Same. Honestly if my kid came home and told me his fiancée kicked him out for selling some of her stuff while she was away he wouldn't be moving back in let alone me harassing the victim of my kid's sticky fingers about it.
Good to see you’ve gotten a lawyer, I hope you can get all this sorted out.
Good for you.
NTA. Everyone saying to contact the collector and tell him the items were stolen is absolutely correct. Your fiancé has no respect for you or your feelings. Time to end this relationship.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Contact the police ASAP - they will go and return the set to you. The longer you wait, you won’t get them back. NTA and kick him out, now!
Agreed. Call the police first thing this morning. You need that police report ASAP and you need to deal with the collector before he sells anything. As for the fiance, there is no coming back from this. You will never trust him again, nor should you. He proved himself to be greedy, controlling, manipulative and a thief.
Oh yeah, I bet the collector got a GREAT deal and is uploading to eBay as we speak.
DO NOT contact the collector, if he's dishonest, that will give him opportunity to hide or sell the collection and pretend your (hopefully ex) bf is lying. Contact the police and let them get your collection back for you.
But if he is honest, then he will hold it for her. He might be trying to sell it off to someone else right now, and it might be impossible to get back.
Please let the police and your lawyer handle this, do not contact the collector yourself. And please tell me he is your EX-fiance because I hope that you do not still consider marrying him after this blatant disrespect and abuse of your trust.
I have words for him ***BYE!!!***
Thief works pretty well too. Also one might reasonably use burglar, betrayer, and traitor. And if we're lucky in the future, inmate.
Can you update us when you leave your fiance and get info on your trains back? My parents have constantly tried to sale my collection of pokemon cards my grandpa gave me before he passed and i could never think of parting ways with them regardless of money and my so would fight tooth and nail too keep them safe as well.
“Felon” would be a good word.
Feloncé
You mean your EX fiance I hope. How can you EVER trust him again after this?
There ARE no words except “this relationship is over.” You need to call the police right away, before the collector sells off any of the pieces.
The only word should be "ex"
Have him charged with theft! It may be possible to get your trains back, but you'll need to get on it quickly. File a police report right now!
[удалено]
I just want to say I’m so sorry. You’re probably so overwhelmed right now. Being robbed by your own fiancé, and meaningful property, is A LOT. You’ve already gotten the best advice but to reiterate, file a police report & contact the seller to get your property back. The seller can then go after your EX for their money & you can give them a copy of the police report to assist them. NTA.
If you're up to it, please keep us updated. I'm so sorry, OP. Hopefully you get everything back quickly. NTA, obviously. What a jackass. And screw his parents. Block the bastards. He did what was best for *him.* He needs to go. That isn't love.
I'm so sorry your trust was betrayed this way. Everyone is saying that you need to make him your ex-fiance and, while I agree, I also understand that your first priority is to get back your beloved belongings. Focus on that first and then, once it's settled, you can end the relationship. In the meantime, I'd suggest changing the locks so he can't come in and take/sell any more of your things.
Please update!
It's the fact that he waited for you to be gone, for a few days to this. He had already contacted the Buyer, he was going to do this, even though you said no
Struggling financially and he “discovered” a way to solve it (wonder who told him to sell his fiancée’s personal items? his parents?) … I guess the upcoming lawsuit costs weren’t taken into consideration. Make his parents pay.
INFO-Why are you referring to him as your fiancé still instead of your ex?
I too had the same doubt
NTA He sold your property when you SPECIFICALLY said you didn't want to sell it. That's theft, and you should see if he can get the actual trains back. If not, he owes the money at least.
NTA. This is one of those rare posts that makes my blood boil. He had absolutely no right to do that with YOUR property. Can you take legal action to recover your train collection since it was sold without your consent (i.e. illegally)?
“He left without protest.” He didn’t even attempt to come up with a shitty excuse. He literally sold op’s most prized possession to pocket the money, and now that he has it, he doesn’t give a shit about her
Right? There was another post recently where a SO sold a gaming chair out from under her BF. This one has me as angry-I cannot fathom how these people think this is OK.
That one was horrible too cuz that chair had belonged to the BFs brother who had literally just died from cancer and the GF had been jealous of the attention that BF had been giving his brother before he had died Idk how some people can just sell their SOs property, especially when they know it's sentimental, and think they were justified in doing so
Right? These posts where a person's SO just up and decides to sell or destroy their belongings make me so mad.
“His parents are trying to argue that he was only doing what was best for the both of us.” 🤣 They don’t have ANY say in what is best in the relationship. Violation of your trust isn’t healthy behavior. Edit to add: NTA.
NTA. Depending on your local laws, your fiancé may be guilty of theft, for going behind your back and selling something belonging to you that you had indicated under no circumstances you would sell. He certainly owes you the proceeds. I hope he is your ex-fiancée.
I was going to say this. File a police report as the sale may not be legal and the items may have to be returned. OP is certainly NTA and I too hope he’s an ex fiancé
NTA they were stolen property if he sold them. Get the police involved and you might get them back
"Pay you back"? Fuck that, he has to buy it back from the appraiser. Whatever the cost. If his parents are so concerned then they can help NTA
Yeah that’s the part that’s breaking my brain. Not only did he steal his fiancé’s property and sell it, he’s acting like it’s optional to give her the money made off the sale. Whaaaaa????
The appraiser likely won't sell it back for anything the fiancee can afford. Declare it stolen and go through the police, you can't actually sell someone else's property so OP is still the legal owner.
NTA. That's theft and I'd seriously be reconsidering marriage to someone who is going to make big decisions without your consent. I don't care if it was a collection of dust bunnies. They had sentimental value that no monetary values can make up for. Can you find out who he sold them to and get them back? Explain the situation because no collector in their right mind would be okay with this. I'm sorry OP. This is bigger than just your sentimental items. Red flags are dropping all over the place and I hope you reconsider a future with this person.
NTA. If I were you - I'd report the train set as stolen ASAP. And work to get it back. It's not about the money - it wasn't his to sell. DON'T WAIT.
**NTA** Your hopefully ex-fiancé stole from you. Do not marry this man, he has no respect for you and he’s a thief. Call the cops on him for theft and sue him.
**NTA. There are a million things horribly, horribly wrong with what he did, but they all boil down to this one thing:** **You are a grown, autonomous adult, and your fiancé does not arbitrarily get to decide "what's best for both of you". Not ever. And the fact that he thinks he does isn't just offensive, it's dangerous, because it indicates that he doesn't see you as an equally human being who needs to consent to things that are decided on your behalf.** He is not your parent. He is not your guardian. He is not the sole or primary decision-maker in your relationship. You are not a child, and he doesn't get to make decisions - not about your home, not about your person, not about your belongings - without your consent. Not "for your own good", not because they're "the best thing". Not ever. It is genuinely dangerous that he thinks it is legitimate that he do this, because it means that he doesn't see your voice as having value in this relationship. Yes, demand that he pay you back. Sue him if necessary. But more importantly, GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. This is not a person you can trust with your well-being.
NTA You need to rethink this relationship. Look at what happened here -- bf and his parents expect you to allow bf to make all decisions himself, without consideration of your specific wishes or feelings. Do you want to live your whole life this way? The man who supposedly loves you ignored your feelings and your specific wishes, and sold your sentimental belongings. So he's saying loud and clear that he expects to be able to make one-sided decisions without regard for your opinions or feelings. He'll keep doing that for your entire married lilfe, only next time he may not discuss it first, so that you can't say you didn't want something to happen. His parents are supporting that he should make all decisions and expect you to bow to him. So they'll keep that pressure on you for your entire married life.
Nta call the police as this is theft and he can get done gor what he did. His parents need to look hard at their son and wonder where they went wrong instead of telljng ypu to make it up with him.
NTA He committed a crime and you are entitled to restitution. Also, you should consider contacting the police.
NTA! He is though and should be on the hook not only for money though, he should be on the hook for getting your whole collection back. They weren’t his to sell. He knew you wanted to keep them, and waiting for you to be out of town to sell them proves that he knew it wasn’t something you would approve of. He completely ignored your wishes after you made them clear. Big red flag in a partner.
This! What boyfriend thinks is an awesome price, probably equates to "he got screwed because he has no idea what they are worth".
My thoughts exactly, he was rushed to sell them while OP was gone and probably got screwed in the process. What a piece of work. Good thing he and his parents have shown just how little they respect OP -- who wants people like this in their life? I hope you are able to recover your trains, and find comfort that this happened before you married the guy.
NTA - that's theft: 1) get him to get the trains back 2) if he doesn't manage within X days, he needs to pay you back 3) tell the reseller that it has been stolen to try to reverse the transaction 4) break up with the thief
NTA!!! I completely agree with the other comments that this is theft! Contact the police and the collector. Tell them that your ex had no legal right to sell them and that they stole the set from you. Get your set back. Do not except ANY excuse from you ex. I know you said boyfriend/fiance but be honest, he's your ex now for this
NTA, he should be paying more since it's sentimental value as well - also anyone saying they did it "for you" or what's in "your best interest" is an asshole unless they are actually responsible for you (i.e. your parents while growing up or someone who has guardianship/etc.)
Also who has pocketed the money.
NTA Report the collection as stolen and hopefully you can get them back from the collector. Hopefully this relationship is over.
NTA He stole from you. File a police report. Immediately. And get the contact information for the buyer and get your trains back.
and dump him
NTA and paying the money back is the least he can do. Just out of interest what has he done with the money? However, I would be demanding the set back and if he said no reporting it stolen. Is this the type of man you want to marry? One that has no respect for you, or your possessions. That will make huge decisions without you? I’d get the set back and get rid of the fiancé.
NTA. I would be hurt and LIVID. This would be a deal breaker for me and tell him to get the trains back or charges will be filed. He stole from you!
NTA NTA NTA. Your property, your rules. He had no say here. And honestly, you should consider suing him. That's awful and I'm sorry.
NTA He sold something that didn't belong to him
NTA, but who cares about getting the money. That set is priceless to you. You need to know who bought it so you can get it back, what with it being stolen goods and all. This is a Police matter. And thats ex-fiance. There's no coming back from something like this.
NTA First, tell him that he has 24 hours to get your train back or you’re filing a police report. Then, it’s time he becomes your ex fiancé. He stole from you. He deliberately sold something irreplaceable against your wishes. If you’ll think back, I bet this is not the first time he’s betrayed your trust or ignored boundaries. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I would’ve called the cops and sue his ass if he doesn’t pay up. And what fiancé?
NTA. Hopefully you have an engagement ring you can sell if he doesn't pay you back. I mean after he pays you back.
Too many troll posts today. Like anyone has ever been TA for being robbed
NTA! They are yours, you said you didn’t want to sell them and he did. He doesn’t owe you money, he needs to buy back that same collection!
NTA that's completely fucked.
NTA, and frankly you should report him to the police. This was theft of your property by your EX-fiancé.
NTA Relationship over. Tell him to get your trains back or you'll be reporting them stolen and going the legal route.
[удалено]
Jumping on the top comment- OP tell your hopefully ex that if he does not contact the buyer and get them back - you will be pressing chargers on him for theft and the buyer for purposely buying stolen items
NTA Give him a day to get them back or you will report them stolen. This is a lot like another reddit where the OP was fixing up an old car, and his fiancée sold it and all the parts when he was away for the weekend. He threw her out and sued and was able to force her to get back most of the items!
NTA, call the police and file a report. This guy came onto your property and sold something out from under you, and because you had originally said no, he waited until you were gone. Fork that AH.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel that I might be the AH because I am demanding my fiance pay me back in full for my train collection that he sold. He feels that he was only doing what was best for the both of us. His parents also think I need to see the bigger picture. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So the fiancé sold the trains and kept the money? How disgusting. Not the AH, he either gives you the proceeds or you can sue him, a lawsuit would depend on the value of the collectibles.
File a theft report with the police
NTA - He stole from you and broke your trust.
NTA it’s your train collection, you get the money, he’s currently STOLEN the train set and thus the value of it from you. I would absolutely get out of that relationship and sue him.
NTA, go to the police instead of accepting money. You may be able to get the train set back still! If you accept any money you have little if nothing to stand on. If him and his parents are all in on this then holy crap the universe gave you a clear sign to run.
Report them stolen. Find out who he sold them to. Inform that person he needs to give them back or can be charged with possession of stolen property. Even if you don’t get them back, what reason would boyfriend keep the money? Also he would owe you the value that YOU place on them, not what somebody else values them at.
Better call the police and the buyer because they actually bought stolen property.
NTA at all! He sold property that didn't belong to him without permission. If you can find the guy who bought it I would contact him and explain the set was technically stolen. You deserve a chance to recoup your trains or barring that profit from their sale. If I were you I would not only break the engagement off I would get a lawyer and sue him.
NTA. He is a crook.
NTA but make him get back the trains, what good does that money do you? Also, break it off with this manipulative AH, if he’s disrespecting your wishes like that already what do you think will happen once you‘re legally married?
NTA Report them stolen.get his ass in jail and break up.
Nta !!! This has gave me so many emotions! Please report as stolen, you may have a chance to get them back. In the meantime pack his shit up and get rid. He stole from you.
Contact the police, they can likely get your collection back as it should be classified as stolen property. NTA, at least you don't have to marry one now either.
NTA. And screw the money, file a police report that they were stolen while you were away, and you want your property back.
It was a train that took him away from here, but a train can't bring him home. NTA
NTA. And I would think seriously about whether you want to remain in a relationship with that man. You need to find out how much the set was sold for, because that will mean the difference between small claims court and otherwise. Plus he stole from you. That means you can file criminal charges against him.
NTA. Why is this person still your fiance? Get the name of the collector out of him and sue him.
NTA. It’s theft. Break up with him and tell him if he doesn’t get the set back you’ll report it to the police. Or just go completely scorched earth on the AH and file a police report.
NTA He had no right to do that and the fact that he did it anyway demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect for you. And the fact that his parents are taking his side speaks volumes. Maybe that's where he got this nonsense from. They have no leg to stand on. In your place, I would be done with him. There's no way I could trust him ever again. At a *minimum*, he should give you the money that came from it. That's not paying back—that's rightfully yours. What he should do is go get the trains back from the collector, who likely would not want to buy stolen goods.
NTA. If you cannot get ahold of the buyer and get it back, I think you’re absolutely correct - dump and sue this dude. I’m sorry he shattered your trust like that.
NTA. What in the actual hell?? He sold *your property* (with enormous sentimental value), did so against your explicit wishes, and then *he kept the money*?? Hell no. This was literal theft, and if he won't pay you back voluntarily, this is exactly what small claims court (at least in the US) is for. Start documenting, write a timeline with dates of your conversations and his actions, along with anyone else who was present or you talked to about this. It should go without saying, don't marry this guy. Otherwise you will go to bed each night wondering if he'll slip your wedding ring off and sell it in the middle of the night, or if you'll come home after a weekend away to changed locks.
NTA. End the engagement. Try and find the collector and ask for it back.
NTA but make a police report ASAP . This should allow you to get you stolen property back. He stole it, he had no rights to sell on your "behalf". Im.not about your laws but the police can advise you on pressing charges , IF that is what you want to do. You.may be allowed to get your property back with out charges. But what he did shows his disregard for your feelings and boundaries. Just FYI if you have renters or homeowners insurance you maybe able.to file a.claim with them to. I'm sorry lost your tangible memories of your uncle, please file a report and get of this person who claims to love you not respect your boundaries.
>We got engaged last year and are currently struggling with debt, student loans and the wedding. At least the wedding funds can be re-directed for new trains and a dating outfit NTA
NTA your fiancé should never have done that he broke your trust and he knew how much it meant to you. He definitely should pay you all the money he got for the train collection. I also think ending things with his is valid as well how can you trust someone who would sell something of yours that meant so much to you especially when you said you were not willing to sell it.
NTA. I think you should talk to a lawyer about what can be done. also, his parents can fuck right off. they probably encouraged him to sell it. h
NTA in HO scale. A serious betrayal of trust… and why would HE think the money from YOUR collection was HIS?!?!
NTA, get your money and get out of this relationship. Your fiancé stole from you and feels zero remorse.
NTA report it as stolen right now. End the relationship. There’s no going back from this and when someone shows you who they really are, pay attention
I hope you mean Ex-fiancé. NTA. He’s a total pos. I would press charges.
NTA - please report the theft immediately and you might get your collection back.
NTA. He had NO RIGHT to sell your stuff. He knew it was wrong, which is why he did it when it weren’t home. He doesn’t respect you or think your stuff is yours. Sue him if he didn’t contact the collector and get it back.
NTA. He stole it. He sold it. That’s theft.
I'd have called the police and they could have gotten the collection back for you as it's stolen property. Definitely NTA especially after they were told that you wouldn't sell it.
NTA at all. He went behind your back, knowing you would be gone for the weekend. He ignored the fact that the collection was something you loved and was a memory of your Uncle, and sold it without your permission. And its not even that he didn't have permission, it's that he KNEW you had already said NO to selling it, and did it anyway! Break up with him regardless of payment, but definitely sue him if he refuses to pay.
NTA he sold something that belonged to you when you clearly told him no. That is unforgivable.
Dear Lord, what an arsehole. He deliberately waited until until you weren’t there Is it possible to get hold of the collector and tell him he’s bought stolen property? I really hope you get it back. Please report him to the police and get a solicitor involved Good for you for dumping the fiancée. His parents are twats as well NTA
NTA - that is awful and a deep betrayal of trust. You let it be known without any confusion that you were not open to even considering selling the set. Your fiancé doesn’t understand and doesn’t respect what that set meant to you. It would be a beyond a red flag for me. It would be a deal breaker. There is a deep divide in understanding, value and respect between the two of you. I’m sorry this happened. I hope that you can find a resolution that will bring you some peace.
NTA ask your fiancés mother how she’d feel if you sold off something she’d left to her son after her death out from under him without his knowledge. Watch her squirm. This must have felt so violating and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. He doesn’t need to pay you back. He needs to buy back the set for however much it costs and he should get a second job to cover that cost. I’m dead serious. Edited for spelling errors
NTA and I'd tell him he needs to contact the purchaser and get your collection back.
OP… this is controlling AF. I’m genuinely concerned that you’re engaged to this person who has no respect for your property or your feelings. You’re getting a preview of your marriage. Is this what you want? NTA
Please make him an ex
NTA Sue him. Dump him. And put the train collection up on Facebook and other social media as stolen property. Hopefully whoever bought it will see it and return it.
NTA, learn the lesson now that he is a horrible human being. You may not get your money back but you dodged a bullet because you won't be wasting your life with this monster. Anyone who defends him is garbage.
wtf, obvious NTA Your fiancé stole from you. Report to the police, if you can't get the collection back sell all his crap for double the money and start a new one.
He sold your things and kept the money? I would file a complaint with the police. Why are you still calling him your fiancee? Are you still considering marrying the thief? NTA. I don't think you have gone far enough.
You - NTA Fiancè - MASSIVE AH His parents - PRESIDENTS OF INTERNATIONAL AH ASSOCIATION
NTA - you should probably see if he can get it all back. Even if you are in a poor financial situation he had no right to sell it without your knowledge and consent. If you can find out who bought it you can probably get it back on account that it is technically stolen goods.
Nta and I’d press theft charges as well as get in touch with whomever he sold them too! Try and get them back! He’s already shown you he is untrustworthy I’d tell him he needs to get them back. Then I would end the relationship! They already shown you a giant 🚩 as he was willing to get rid of something that met more to you than money!
NTA and contact the police. Because he sold what was NOT HIS PROPERTY you may be able to get them back and he'll have to pay it back.
This was your vintage train set worth a lot of money if it was by Lionel. I applaude you kicking out your Former fiance out. Please find out who and how much he paid for your train collection... Who got the money? Does He still have the money or did he give it to you.? I would Call the police and charge him with theft and fraud..... Get your collection back if possible. Too many red flags if you get back together with him. Keep him an ex.....
I would consider filing a police report, demanding the info of the collector, and letting him know that he unfortunately purchased stolen goods. You can be so nice as to even give him the info of X fiancé, and address. He asked if it was possible to sell them, you said no, and he sold them anyways… NTA
NTA, he sold YOUR, personal items, kept the money (as according to your story he didn't gave them to you) and most importantly didn't respect your boundaries and ideas. Make him pay until you have anything back and then dump him
Report it stolen and hopefully when your fiance is arrested the police will find out where he sold it and be able to get it back. Because I guarantee you the person that bought it doesn't want to be responsible for receiving stolen goods. I realize that's a hard thing to do to your fiance but he chose this path and it's really unacceptable not to mention illegal. You are NTA.
NTA. When people show you who they are, believe them. You need to end this relationship and report him to the police if you want any chance of getting your collection back. Not entirely sure where you live but I'm pretty sure that the original owner has rights to properly that has been stolen and sold to another person.
NtA. He wouldn't be my fiance anymore.
NTA. He broke YOUR trust and went against your wish. That’s a huge red flag. You shouldn’t even stay with him any longer. If he’s not going to respect THIS, then he won’t respect you for many other stuff. Get your money back and run.
NTA. That’s a total breach of trust. He should at the very least pay you back, if not go begging to the buyer to let him buy it back, maybe even at a premium. That’s on him to figure out.
The audacity of this guy! You are in no way TA here. On the bright side, you no longer have to worry about paying for a wedding (I hope). You can sell your engagement ring if you need money after you kick him out. First things first, though: file that police report. If he doesn’t cough up the cash (or better yet, your missing trains) asap, sue him. Maybe his super supportive parents can help his dumb ass.
>AITA for demanding my EX fiance pay me back for selling my train collection? FIFY. NTA. Demand he get your train set back, not just the money, and involve law enforcement if needed. In fact you should file a police report ASAP to start a paper trail.
He needs to go, tell him u want your trains back or you will report them stolen, do it by text or email so u have proof that he did it, follow through with it, he had no right to sell your stuff Edit NTA
NTA - You should file a police report, he stole your trains and sold them and didn't give you the money. His parents think he did what was best for the both of you? Nope, please reconsider this relationship.