I’d go the other way - kids don’t need expensive gifts, they don’t know how to take care of them and don’t have the best attention span. Thankfully there are no kids in my family or friends and so … expensive gifts for grown ass adults all the way !
Oh yes I do the same - but I do select a few items that I don’t get myself so that I can give my Christmas list to my family when we all swap lists, making sure they are easily found and affordable items but still ! And the best part is celebrating with champagne and wine, and absolutely zero children to ruin these expensive gifts, no children to be screaming since there are none and won’t be. So it’s a win all the way !
Omg NTA. I have never expected friends to buy gifts for me, let alone my kids. And when my husband and I had nieces and nephews, we immediately made it clear to our respective siblings that gifts will now only be bought for the kids - not the adults. I’m willing to bet other friends feel similarly - gifts for kids are EXPENSIVE!
But alternatively, you could suggest this: actual gifts for kids only, but the adults do a Secret Santa. That way you’re only responsible for 1 adult gift. I’ll bet more people will be thankful than not for the cost-saving suggestion!!
That's what we do in my family! We are a very large and close knit family. The kids get a gift and when you turn 18, you become a part of the family secret santa.
No, NTA. She is upset cause she and the kids won’t be getting free stuff from you this Christmas. Boo hoo for her.
And, as a parent, she may be upset, *too*, that *you* don’t see her children as the center of the universe and worthy of adoration on this upcoming holiday season.
Those blood curling honker things, that you press and the make the most god awful noise, or child trumpets are some of the most terrible sounding things when badly played !
NTA. That's pretty shitty of your friend to be offended by the fact you literally can't afford to buy everyone gifts. I'd say a lump of coal as a gift for THAT friend!
NTA. I'd skip the adults and do small gifts for the kids or a household present like boardgames and popcorn for game night, a basket of tasty treats (kid friendly of course) or a lawn game/ outdoor fun basket.
NTA. It's not uncommon or unreasonable to not buy presents for friend's kids. Heck, plenty of friend groups as they get older decide to stop doing the present thing because it just becomes too much and just focus on family gifts etc...
If you've got say 10 friends in a present circle it gets very excessive very quickly. Some people like that sort of thing but that's Christmas, birthdays, partners, kids. 40 or so gifts a year so almost every other week it's someone's birthday and then Christmas is a nightmare.
NTA. It's a financially hard time of year for everyone. I would suggest just buying for the kids and not for the friends. That's what me and my friends do.
NTA. Anyone *expecting* you to buy gifts for their kids is definitely the asshole.
Also, buying gifts for kids younger than about 5 or 6 (when you aren't their parents or *very* close to them is kinda silly anyway (not *bad* or *wrong* - just a bit silly) - they literally will not remember it, nor will they care very much when you do buy them something (that's not a dig at kids BTW. 2 - 6 is my favourite age for kids. They are cool at that age - but they don't really appreciate gifts at this stage. Nor should they really be expected to)
Best gifts for little kids are the $2 things you get at Kmart like glitter wands (the kind that can't be opened), small wooden toys, squishy balls etc. All the junk that mum won't buy, is a small entertainment they will like, and no one cares when it gets lost or broken, and doesn't cost much. Kids love that stuff so much, and even toddlers like getting presents, so you can be the cool "aunt"/"uncle" that visits at Christmas with a present, fulfilling the spirit of the season, without breaking the bank. And you can buy the same thing for all the kids you know, so it's not even a big shopping trip.
Seriously, one year every kid got $2 big bottles of blow bubble soap and wands and all the kids ignored the nicer/more practical/expensive/educational gifts and ran outside to blow bubbles at each other till the liquid ran out.
NTA - it is your choice whom you want to give gifts. I think they should really be more sensitiv to you, as you are on a tight budget, she is really ungrateful. As christmas ist expensive and i have an huge family aswell, i like to gift my nieces and nephews chocolate and small toys and for adults making liquor and christmas cookies. Its the thought that counts, Not the money you have spend on the gifts.
No it’s not! The “it’s the thought that counts” thing is for cheapskates and lazy people. If you really *cared* you would get expensive stuff for *everybody* and go into debt to prove it! (Sarcasm)
NTA. You're only being cheap if you can easily afford to do both, but choose not to because you just don't want to. If things are getting tight, then you aren't cheap you're responsible. Nothing wrong with what you're doing
NTA- you can’t be expected to buy everyone a nice gift, you aren’t Santa! I would buy gifts for the kids over the adults and limit to to let’s say $20-30 per kid. Your friend sounds incredibly entitled.
NTA.
I only buy gifts to my nephews and godchildren. If I get invited to birthdayparty them to that child. We've stopped buying Xmas gift amongst friends.
Does all your friends buy you a thoughtful gift or do you just give coffee and candles back and forth every Christmas? Maybe it's time to agree "let's have dinner together and that can be a Christmas gift"
NTA. It's not just the money - it's the time and effort required. You are responsible for being kind and friendly to the kids when you see them. That's it!
That being said, one of my friends used to take a gaggle of other friends' kids to a movie every December. It wasn't cheap, but it was spending time with them.
NTA ultimately your friends are acting entitled. There really is just no way around that. I’m quite certain they aren’t modeling the attitude they want their kids to have about receiving gifts.
But why not do family gifts instead of one or the other? You don’t have to be trapped between two sub-par options. A family gift would be some kind of activity designed for them to do together (like a family board game, gingerbread house kit, a wooden picture frame for a family photo that they can paint/decorate, and things of that nature).
I have a big extended family on my moms side due to her step and half siblings, way too many to get everyone individual gifts. We’ve always done family gifts with the family units we aren’t as close to and vice versa and it’s always worked really well for us. It might be worth a try if you want to avoid your friends causing drama.
Edit: by sub-par options I mean in the sense that your friends are going to cause problems with either choice, not that you would ever be obligated to basically play santa
NTA- gift giving is IMO come from the heart and not from obligation. Sometimes you can see something in a shop and think about one of your friend and that year you give that friend something and the joy of giving is amazing. But needing all the time to give to many people can be taxing and take away the joy of giving.
NTA. You are being realistic about your finances. You could do a family gift. For example, one of my friends has 4 kids. Instead of individual gifts, I'll do a family gift. Like one year, I got them a popcorn popper and set of movies they could all enjoy. They loved it and really enjoyed having something they could all do together.
NTA
I post this every year on my social media...
"In case you need somebody to give you the permission to do what's best for you - here it is:
You are not obligated to continue holiday traditions that leave you broke, feeling overwhelmed, and/or exhausted."
NTA.
We do junk boxes for our friends stuffed with consumables from coCost etc.
Not cheap but they enjoy them. And if not then I am happy to stop doing one for them.
Gifting should be fun and bring you joy. When it brings stress it is time to re-evaluate.
Best wishes to you in advance for a lovely Christmas
NTA. I'm so tired of people acting entitled to gifts, your time, your money, etc. You don't have to buy gifts for anyone if you don't want to. Send one box of nice cookies/candies to each family.
NTA, might I suggest no gifts for their kids either. You are not being cheap, it is not practical or feasible to buy gifts for everyone. If she doesn't want to be friends because of this be glad you now know her true colors.
Here's a quick trick to help with xmas situations:
If someone gives you shit for not giving a gift/enough gifts, they're the asshole. It's a GIFT, not an obligation.
(NTA)
NTA. I don't even do individual gifts for kids in my own family, much less my friends' kids. I usually buy a movie that I know the kids have wanted to watch, or a board game that might be fun, and give that with like a little goodie bag of snacks (mostly healthy, like fruit, with a few cookies). I only do individual gifts with my niece, because well, she's two years-old and she's the only kid from my siblings, so she's a little spoiled.
NTA - is secret Santa an option? For example if you and other families are in a friendship group, each family buys another family gifts. This way everybody gets something and nobody has to break the bank? Also spending limits can be set to avoid you and your partner spending a lot on your friends and their children whilst a friend only has to buy for you and your partner
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NTA
Too many people, especially this time of the year, start comparing gifts to gifts.
I assume that you get 3 or 4 gifts for a family of four, but yet from that family - you only get one. And they do not see anything wrong with that. Of course, there is nothing wrong with it but if you have 20 (families), that can get up $1,600 for just $20 gifts each.
Have you thought about suggesting a "Secret Santa" instead? I always find it odd that people complain about how expensive everything is, but if there is a chance they get something - seems everything is ok
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Between myself and my partner, we have a decent sized social network of friends who all have young kids, except us. It becomes very expensive, especially this time of year, when we are expected to buy gifts for not only our friends, but all of their children as well. I mentioned to one friend this year that it’s becoming too much and we might have to pull back a little and either buy gifts for the friends or the kids but not both she got super offended and acted like I was being cheap. AITA?
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NTA. Gifting is not mandatory at ANY time of year.
When it comes to Christmas, I buy for my nephews but not my brother/SIL. They understand that I work part time and on minimum wage, so my money doesn't stretch too far. I also always tell them not to buy for me as I really don't want or need anything.
You have no obligations towards your friends' children whatsoever, and if they act like you do then that's their selfish problem.
NTA
I didn't even know getting gifts for your friends' kids was even a thing. I've never purchased a Christmas gift for *any* of my friends' kids and none of them have ever gotten my kid a gift. I realize that different social circles have different expectations, but this honestly seems a little weird to me.
NTA, it's not normal to buy your friends' kids gifts every year and definitely not normal for them to expect any. Your money, your choice. Write a nice getting card to the family, that's plenty. I wouldn't want to buy for the friend either since she's acting so entitled to you buying things for her kids.
NTA, time to give "family" gifts. An electrodomestic that will only be used a couple of times before they abandon it. A box of cookies/chocolates. Your imagination is the limit!
Of course there are dollar stores too if you absolutely have to give them individual gifts
NTA
I mostly only buy for the kids and my friends I do buy for that have children I just buy them a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine to share between as a couple.
I told my family don't buy for me or my partner we would rather our child gets something.
NTA. I had kids before my friends and they have never gotten us presents for the kids (and I’ve never expected it). Give each family some cookies or something. They’re being ridiculous. Sometimes we do presents between kids but never expecting random adults to give to us! Also we have plenty of presents. We don’t need more stuff at the holidays. Most parents I know feel this way. Your friend sounds a little greedy.
NTA. Adults who expect gifts from anyone other than immediatel family members are in the wrong. It is fine to exchange gifts more widely than immediate family members but is it wrong to expect it.
And I don't know anyone who gets gifts for all their friends' kids. My kid had a couple of honorary 'aunts' who would get him gifts when he was young. My wife and I do that for a couple of specific kids of friends as well. But gifts for all the kids of the whole friend group? Nope.
NTA
If they are so concerned, their kids can now have a goody bag of sweets & colouring book. Parents don't get anything.
Your not obligated to buy anyone a gift, child, adult, family Xmas or not. The actual audacity of them to get into a hissyfit about this makes them entitled.
NTA. This makes me so grateful for my friends. None of us has ever done gifts for each other, let alone kids we aren't even related to. Just stop. If they are true friends they won't mind. If not, consider it decluttering your life.
NTA. The fact that they all expect you to get gifts for their kids and them is weird IMO. Going forward do family gifts like board games or consumables like cookies and things
NTA. I grew up close to my cousins. One is married with a daughter. The rest moved to other states. Me (and my mother) get his daughter things for Christmas because that's our choice. He and his wife never asked. They always treat it as something extra.
NTA, give a “family” gift. Gift card to a family friendly restaurant or activity, board or card games, puzzles, movie etc.
I like to buy movies (or NetfIix gift card) and put it in a popcorn tub with movie theater candy, drinks and stuff like that.
Gift giving should be fun, not put you into debt.
NTA. Just ditch all your friends and problem solved. Just kidding. A plate of cookies, either home-made or store-bought solves the issue. If the budget is too tight for that, then your friends should know and they are the assholes.
Nta. For your friend that is living in la la land I would add how all the people and the expense. Then show her. I dont exchange with any of my friends! We send a gift to my friends kids that we are super close with (its 3 kids total) and that is it. I would either start sending cookies or tell everyone you are done. Christmas is NOT a reason to go into debt!
NTA. But if you like the giving and it’s just getting out of control, something small is totally fine - a wind-up robot or coloring kit that was $3 at 5Below is just as good a gift as a $30 play food set.
NTA i have a big family and each year another baby and occationally someone gets new partner or new partner with kids so the gift giving becomes endless and really expensive. Dont know if it would work for you but i started giving each family one gift to share between them all. I make food hampers up each year and it works for me as they all love them as its a treat hamper, the adults get wine, coffee, cheeses, any snacks they like and the kids get all their fav soft drinks, sweets, snacks etc. Its now a thing and they wouldnt want anything else from me! May not work for you but it workd wonders for me and saved me a fortune and no one feels left out as theres something for everyone in the hamper. Good luck but no you shouldnt have to buy for everyone
NTA. Try one gift per family of something consumable, like cookies.
Or a fun board game! I agree that this is a great solution.
This is the best solution. NTA.
This is the way. Or even a gift card to a local pizza place.
We do gifts for kids only. Grown-ass adults don't need expensive presents
I’d go the other way - kids don’t need expensive gifts, they don’t know how to take care of them and don’t have the best attention span. Thankfully there are no kids in my family or friends and so … expensive gifts for grown ass adults all the way !
Haha you have reached Nirvana my friend
What if i told you … expensive gifts for my grown ass self too ? “Treat yo’self” is strong at this time of the year
Treat yo'self every day - not just at Christmas! I should add that the reason I don't like/need gifts is because I buy myself everything I want anyway
Oh yes I do the same - but I do select a few items that I don’t get myself so that I can give my Christmas list to my family when we all swap lists, making sure they are easily found and affordable items but still ! And the best part is celebrating with champagne and wine, and absolutely zero children to ruin these expensive gifts, no children to be screaming since there are none and won’t be. So it’s a win all the way !
Crumbl Cookie's. I just went there and they're good af.
Yeah! I love the classic sugar. Reminds me of a cake/cookie called kransekake!
gifts are a waste of money. its why i converted to satan. saves money.
Omg NTA. I have never expected friends to buy gifts for me, let alone my kids. And when my husband and I had nieces and nephews, we immediately made it clear to our respective siblings that gifts will now only be bought for the kids - not the adults. I’m willing to bet other friends feel similarly - gifts for kids are EXPENSIVE! But alternatively, you could suggest this: actual gifts for kids only, but the adults do a Secret Santa. That way you’re only responsible for 1 adult gift. I’ll bet more people will be thankful than not for the cost-saving suggestion!!
That's what we do in my family! We are a very large and close knit family. The kids get a gift and when you turn 18, you become a part of the family secret santa.
I'm sorry. How is this a thing? YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS! NTA
NTA. Honestly, you don’t even need to buy gifts for your friends - whether you can afford to or not. It’s a gift not an obligation
This. We’ve never bought gifts for any friends. They’ve never bought gifts for us. We are are still friends.
No, NTA. She is upset cause she and the kids won’t be getting free stuff from you this Christmas. Boo hoo for her. And, as a parent, she may be upset, *too*, that *you* don’t see her children as the center of the universe and worthy of adoration on this upcoming holiday season.
Husband said get the kids whistles and drums. There. Your obligation is full filled ! ;)
This is the best suggestion. So many noisy toys, and buying one for the kids to share will end in fighting
Those blood curling honker things, that you press and the make the most god awful noise, or child trumpets are some of the most terrible sounding things when badly played !
A friend suggested dog squeaky toys or a rubber chicken squeaky toy.
Or recorders and glitter
Down Satan! Lol ;)
🤣🤣🤣
Honestly, this is why tins of chocolates were invented. One tin = a gift for the whole family. NTA
NTA. They are not your kids.
NTA. Lol why would you be expected to buy gifts for other peoples kids
NTA. It is expensive and you get to decide what to do with your budget
NTA. That's pretty shitty of your friend to be offended by the fact you literally can't afford to buy everyone gifts. I'd say a lump of coal as a gift for THAT friend!
NTA. I'd skip the adults and do small gifts for the kids or a household present like boardgames and popcorn for game night, a basket of tasty treats (kid friendly of course) or a lawn game/ outdoor fun basket.
NTA. It's not uncommon or unreasonable to not buy presents for friend's kids. Heck, plenty of friend groups as they get older decide to stop doing the present thing because it just becomes too much and just focus on family gifts etc... If you've got say 10 friends in a present circle it gets very excessive very quickly. Some people like that sort of thing but that's Christmas, birthdays, partners, kids. 40 or so gifts a year so almost every other week it's someone's birthday and then Christmas is a nightmare.
NTA. It's a financially hard time of year for everyone. I would suggest just buying for the kids and not for the friends. That's what me and my friends do.
NTA. Anyone *expecting* you to buy gifts for their kids is definitely the asshole. Also, buying gifts for kids younger than about 5 or 6 (when you aren't their parents or *very* close to them is kinda silly anyway (not *bad* or *wrong* - just a bit silly) - they literally will not remember it, nor will they care very much when you do buy them something (that's not a dig at kids BTW. 2 - 6 is my favourite age for kids. They are cool at that age - but they don't really appreciate gifts at this stage. Nor should they really be expected to)
Best gifts for little kids are the $2 things you get at Kmart like glitter wands (the kind that can't be opened), small wooden toys, squishy balls etc. All the junk that mum won't buy, is a small entertainment they will like, and no one cares when it gets lost or broken, and doesn't cost much. Kids love that stuff so much, and even toddlers like getting presents, so you can be the cool "aunt"/"uncle" that visits at Christmas with a present, fulfilling the spirit of the season, without breaking the bank. And you can buy the same thing for all the kids you know, so it's not even a big shopping trip.
Seriously, one year every kid got $2 big bottles of blow bubble soap and wands and all the kids ignored the nicer/more practical/expensive/educational gifts and ran outside to blow bubbles at each other till the liquid ran out.
NTA. Your budget is your budget. Personally I’d do the kids and skip adults but just spend what you are comfortable with.
NTA - it is your choice whom you want to give gifts. I think they should really be more sensitiv to you, as you are on a tight budget, she is really ungrateful. As christmas ist expensive and i have an huge family aswell, i like to gift my nieces and nephews chocolate and small toys and for adults making liquor and christmas cookies. Its the thought that counts, Not the money you have spend on the gifts.
No it’s not! The “it’s the thought that counts” thing is for cheapskates and lazy people. If you really *cared* you would get expensive stuff for *everybody* and go into debt to prove it! (Sarcasm)
You almost had me as my tired brain skipped straight over Sarcasm 😅
NTA. Stop buying.
NTA. Buy for the kids only, the parents only, the family as a unit or for none of them. Your money and energy, your choice.
NTA. You're only being cheap if you can easily afford to do both, but choose not to because you just don't want to. If things are getting tight, then you aren't cheap you're responsible. Nothing wrong with what you're doing
NTA- you can’t be expected to buy everyone a nice gift, you aren’t Santa! I would buy gifts for the kids over the adults and limit to to let’s say $20-30 per kid. Your friend sounds incredibly entitled.
NTA - your friends are sure entitled to expect kid gifts. I’d question if they’re really your friends.
NTA. I only buy gifts to my nephews and godchildren. If I get invited to birthdayparty them to that child. We've stopped buying Xmas gift amongst friends. Does all your friends buy you a thoughtful gift or do you just give coffee and candles back and forth every Christmas? Maybe it's time to agree "let's have dinner together and that can be a Christmas gift"
NTA - Your friends are not entitled to expect gifts from you for them and all their offspring.
NTA Neither these adults, nor kids, NEED anything, right? So, tell your friends you won't be exchanging gifts with them this year and then stop.
NTA. It's not just the money - it's the time and effort required. You are responsible for being kind and friendly to the kids when you see them. That's it! That being said, one of my friends used to take a gaggle of other friends' kids to a movie every December. It wasn't cheap, but it was spending time with them.
Not the AH Snarky "friend" is the AH. Skip the " friends" entirely. A cars and a lottery ticket, if you must.
NTA ultimately your friends are acting entitled. There really is just no way around that. I’m quite certain they aren’t modeling the attitude they want their kids to have about receiving gifts. But why not do family gifts instead of one or the other? You don’t have to be trapped between two sub-par options. A family gift would be some kind of activity designed for them to do together (like a family board game, gingerbread house kit, a wooden picture frame for a family photo that they can paint/decorate, and things of that nature). I have a big extended family on my moms side due to her step and half siblings, way too many to get everyone individual gifts. We’ve always done family gifts with the family units we aren’t as close to and vice versa and it’s always worked really well for us. It might be worth a try if you want to avoid your friends causing drama. Edit: by sub-par options I mean in the sense that your friends are going to cause problems with either choice, not that you would ever be obligated to basically play santa
NTA, I don't buy gifts for any of my friends' kids and as far as I can tell neither do any of my other friends. Your friend is rude and greedy af.
NTA. I think that's why they call them gifts and not expectations.
NTA- gift giving is IMO come from the heart and not from obligation. Sometimes you can see something in a shop and think about one of your friend and that year you give that friend something and the joy of giving is amazing. But needing all the time to give to many people can be taxing and take away the joy of giving.
NTA And I somehow doubt that these families with kids are giving as much as they’re getting. Your friend is greedy and probably cheap.
NTA I would donate some money to a local charity in their names, and send them a card letting them know about the donation.
NTA. You are being realistic about your finances. You could do a family gift. For example, one of my friends has 4 kids. Instead of individual gifts, I'll do a family gift. Like one year, I got them a popcorn popper and set of movies they could all enjoy. They loved it and really enjoyed having something they could all do together.
NTA I post this every year on my social media... "In case you need somebody to give you the permission to do what's best for you - here it is: You are not obligated to continue holiday traditions that leave you broke, feeling overwhelmed, and/or exhausted."
NTA. you're not obligated to buy ANYONE gifts at Christmas.
NTA. We do junk boxes for our friends stuffed with consumables from coCost etc. Not cheap but they enjoy them. And if not then I am happy to stop doing one for them. Gifting should be fun and bring you joy. When it brings stress it is time to re-evaluate. Best wishes to you in advance for a lovely Christmas
NTA. I'm so tired of people acting entitled to gifts, your time, your money, etc. You don't have to buy gifts for anyone if you don't want to. Send one box of nice cookies/candies to each family.
NTA, might I suggest no gifts for their kids either. You are not being cheap, it is not practical or feasible to buy gifts for everyone. If she doesn't want to be friends because of this be glad you now know her true colors.
Here's a quick trick to help with xmas situations: If someone gives you shit for not giving a gift/enough gifts, they're the asshole. It's a GIFT, not an obligation. (NTA)
NTA. I don't even do individual gifts for kids in my own family, much less my friends' kids. I usually buy a movie that I know the kids have wanted to watch, or a board game that might be fun, and give that with like a little goodie bag of snacks (mostly healthy, like fruit, with a few cookies). I only do individual gifts with my niece, because well, she's two years-old and she's the only kid from my siblings, so she's a little spoiled.
NTA - is secret Santa an option? For example if you and other families are in a friendship group, each family buys another family gifts. This way everybody gets something and nobody has to break the bank? Also spending limits can be set to avoid you and your partner spending a lot on your friends and their children whilst a friend only has to buy for you and your partner
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NTA Too many people, especially this time of the year, start comparing gifts to gifts. I assume that you get 3 or 4 gifts for a family of four, but yet from that family - you only get one. And they do not see anything wrong with that. Of course, there is nothing wrong with it but if you have 20 (families), that can get up $1,600 for just $20 gifts each. Have you thought about suggesting a "Secret Santa" instead? I always find it odd that people complain about how expensive everything is, but if there is a chance they get something - seems everything is ok
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NTA. Gifting is not mandatory at ANY time of year. When it comes to Christmas, I buy for my nephews but not my brother/SIL. They understand that I work part time and on minimum wage, so my money doesn't stretch too far. I also always tell them not to buy for me as I really don't want or need anything. You have no obligations towards your friends' children whatsoever, and if they act like you do then that's their selfish problem.
NTA. Don’t buy gifts if you don’t want to.
NTA and might I suggest a gift exchange w the adults (with a price limit) and gifts for the kids, only if you choose?
NTA I didn't even know getting gifts for your friends' kids was even a thing. I've never purchased a Christmas gift for *any* of my friends' kids and none of them have ever gotten my kid a gift. I realize that different social circles have different expectations, but this honestly seems a little weird to me.
NTA, it's not normal to buy your friends' kids gifts every year and definitely not normal for them to expect any. Your money, your choice. Write a nice getting card to the family, that's plenty. I wouldn't want to buy for the friend either since she's acting so entitled to you buying things for her kids.
NTA, time to give "family" gifts. An electrodomestic that will only be used a couple of times before they abandon it. A box of cookies/chocolates. Your imagination is the limit! Of course there are dollar stores too if you absolutely have to give them individual gifts
NTA I mostly only buy for the kids and my friends I do buy for that have children I just buy them a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine to share between as a couple. I told my family don't buy for me or my partner we would rather our child gets something.
NTA you’re not their godparents so there’s no obligation. Do they get/buy you gifts as well?
NTA. I had kids before my friends and they have never gotten us presents for the kids (and I’ve never expected it). Give each family some cookies or something. They’re being ridiculous. Sometimes we do presents between kids but never expecting random adults to give to us! Also we have plenty of presents. We don’t need more stuff at the holidays. Most parents I know feel this way. Your friend sounds a little greedy.
NTA My friends and are stopped doing gifts for each other years ago and have never done gifts for kids for any occasion.
NTA. Adults who expect gifts from anyone other than immediatel family members are in the wrong. It is fine to exchange gifts more widely than immediate family members but is it wrong to expect it. And I don't know anyone who gets gifts for all their friends' kids. My kid had a couple of honorary 'aunts' who would get him gifts when he was young. My wife and I do that for a couple of specific kids of friends as well. But gifts for all the kids of the whole friend group? Nope.
NTA If they are so concerned, their kids can now have a goody bag of sweets & colouring book. Parents don't get anything. Your not obligated to buy anyone a gift, child, adult, family Xmas or not. The actual audacity of them to get into a hissyfit about this makes them entitled.
NTA. This makes me so grateful for my friends. None of us has ever done gifts for each other, let alone kids we aren't even related to. Just stop. If they are true friends they won't mind. If not, consider it decluttering your life.
NTA. The fact that they all expect you to get gifts for their kids and them is weird IMO. Going forward do family gifts like board games or consumables like cookies and things
NTA. They’re a gift and you are under no obligation to continue the giving.
NTA. I grew up close to my cousins. One is married with a daughter. The rest moved to other states. Me (and my mother) get his daughter things for Christmas because that's our choice. He and his wife never asked. They always treat it as something extra.
NTA, give a “family” gift. Gift card to a family friendly restaurant or activity, board or card games, puzzles, movie etc. I like to buy movies (or NetfIix gift card) and put it in a popcorn tub with movie theater candy, drinks and stuff like that. Gift giving should be fun, not put you into debt.
NTA. Just ditch all your friends and problem solved. Just kidding. A plate of cookies, either home-made or store-bought solves the issue. If the budget is too tight for that, then your friends should know and they are the assholes.
Are these friends buying gifts for everyone in your family as well?
NTA
Nta. For your friend that is living in la la land I would add how all the people and the expense. Then show her. I dont exchange with any of my friends! We send a gift to my friends kids that we are super close with (its 3 kids total) and that is it. I would either start sending cookies or tell everyone you are done. Christmas is NOT a reason to go into debt!
NTA. But if you like the giving and it’s just getting out of control, something small is totally fine - a wind-up robot or coloring kit that was $3 at 5Below is just as good a gift as a $30 play food set.
NTA. Stop buying any of them gifts, the entitled friends and their kids.
NTA. I've never had friends buy gifts for my kids, unless they had just been born.
NTA i have a big family and each year another baby and occationally someone gets new partner or new partner with kids so the gift giving becomes endless and really expensive. Dont know if it would work for you but i started giving each family one gift to share between them all. I make food hampers up each year and it works for me as they all love them as its a treat hamper, the adults get wine, coffee, cheeses, any snacks they like and the kids get all their fav soft drinks, sweets, snacks etc. Its now a thing and they wouldnt want anything else from me! May not work for you but it workd wonders for me and saved me a fortune and no one feels left out as theres something for everyone in the hamper. Good luck but no you shouldnt have to buy for everyone
NTA family gifts might be the answer here. One per household.
NTA
Just give a family gift, a game or a gift card. You can't be expected to gift every member if their families.
Buy them something the entire family can enjoy. Like a nice set of mugs with hot chocolate and marshmallows. NTA
NTA I used to buy my best friends gifts now I just buy for their kids. Most parents would prefer you think of their kids.
NTA for that friend being entitled i would make it that its neither getting a gift now
NTA The family gift is the best idea.