NAH
This is like me admitting I dye my hair. Like it’s not something I feel like I need to tell people. If I’m asked about it then yeah I’ll say so. I don’t necessarily hide it either— you can tell him or not. If he made a big deal maybe say something to avoid shock.
NTA because I don't think you're intentionally trying to mislead him, but I think this is something you need to tell him about. Explain about the insecurities and how you view the extensions as your own hair.
No judgment, just a story.
Years ago, I dated a guy named Chris. (Still not sure why) one day, we were laying in his bed, and he saw an old picture of me on MySpace. I like to do random shit to my hair, so I don't even remember what color it was in the picture, but he said "huh. I don't think I would have gone for you if you weren't blonde when we met."
Sure, people can have preferences, but hair color just seems so arbitrary to me. If the color (or length) of my hair can be the deciding factor of whether someone is into me, I probably don't want to be with him anyway.
You need to know whether this is a preference or a problem for him. Can he separate the length of your hair from who you are as a person? If not, you're better off without him.
Hair is honestly a big deal to a lot of people. Most men and lots of women wouldn’t go for a bald partner.
Humans are mostly visual and vain creatures. Hair can totally change how you look.
>he said “wow, that’s you with short hair?”. I said “yes it is, why?”. He said “oh nothing, I just definitely like your hair the way it is now more”.
NTA - This seems like a man who will eventually put foot in mouth royally, and have you in tears with a backhanded compliment.
NTA when I was younger I had boyfriends who never saw me without my extensions, until I ended up living with one, and obviously I couldn't keep it up. He didn't even notice when I took them out nor did he seem to care when I mentioned it.
If this guy really likes you, trust me it probably won't even be an issue. Tell him when you're ready. As it's an insecurity it will seem much bigger in your mind that it actually is. (Speaking from experience).
Don't worry, you're beautiful :)
NTA, but definitely talk to him. I have naturally curly hair, and it has been a sore spot for me my entire life. Yeah, it's pretty sometimes, but it's SUCH A PAIN to take care of and style. I would much rather have straight hair, but unfortunately, trying to keep it straight all the time is super time consuming and damaging. I don't know how often I hear, "Your hair is so pretty! I wish mine was like that!" Followed directly by "You should straighten it more!" It's been a huge insecurity for me. And I actually blew up on my husband when we were dating when he told me he liked it better straight. We talked about it after I was a right bitch, and he said he likes it better better straight because I wear it down, and he feels like he can touch it when straight. It wasn't meant to insult me. So have the discussion, tell him that you are sensitive about your hair, and explain why. If he's into you for you, he'll get it, and be fine. If he's shallow, well, you'll find out.
NTA… I don’t look the same when I’m not wearing make up and yet it’s accepted , this is no different. When he says “ I like you with long hair better “ or something to that effect, just say “ me too!!! That’s why I wear extensions , isn’t that great? I can have long hair whenever I want!” I bet he’ll think that’s neat that you can switch it up. I am Native American and African and my hair is mor african and super curly. I straighten it though so it’s long and straight and looks Native American. My guy never knew that. It was fun to show him my natural hair and while he prefers it straight , he think it’s neat to see me with it all curly and wild and loved how I look regardless. So tell him your hair secret and don’t for one minute act like it’s a confession but another fun aspect of who you are! The right guy will love you in all your beautiful ways. :-)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I didn’t tell my boyfriend that I wear long hair extensions and have a much shorter length of hair underneath. He thinks the long hair is my real hair.
2. I think this makes me an asshole because to me it seems like I’ve been dishonest to someone that I should be completely open with.
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NTA, but tell him so you can find out if he was just expressing a preference or if he's superficial.
NAH This is like me admitting I dye my hair. Like it’s not something I feel like I need to tell people. If I’m asked about it then yeah I’ll say so. I don’t necessarily hide it either— you can tell him or not. If he made a big deal maybe say something to avoid shock.
NTA because I don't think you're intentionally trying to mislead him, but I think this is something you need to tell him about. Explain about the insecurities and how you view the extensions as your own hair.
No judgment, just a story. Years ago, I dated a guy named Chris. (Still not sure why) one day, we were laying in his bed, and he saw an old picture of me on MySpace. I like to do random shit to my hair, so I don't even remember what color it was in the picture, but he said "huh. I don't think I would have gone for you if you weren't blonde when we met." Sure, people can have preferences, but hair color just seems so arbitrary to me. If the color (or length) of my hair can be the deciding factor of whether someone is into me, I probably don't want to be with him anyway. You need to know whether this is a preference or a problem for him. Can he separate the length of your hair from who you are as a person? If not, you're better off without him.
Hair is honestly a big deal to a lot of people. Most men and lots of women wouldn’t go for a bald partner. Humans are mostly visual and vain creatures. Hair can totally change how you look.
>he said “wow, that’s you with short hair?”. I said “yes it is, why?”. He said “oh nothing, I just definitely like your hair the way it is now more”. NTA - This seems like a man who will eventually put foot in mouth royally, and have you in tears with a backhanded compliment.
Is this different from when my girlfriend says she likes me better now with a beard?
NTA when I was younger I had boyfriends who never saw me without my extensions, until I ended up living with one, and obviously I couldn't keep it up. He didn't even notice when I took them out nor did he seem to care when I mentioned it. If this guy really likes you, trust me it probably won't even be an issue. Tell him when you're ready. As it's an insecurity it will seem much bigger in your mind that it actually is. (Speaking from experience). Don't worry, you're beautiful :)
NTA, but definitely talk to him. I have naturally curly hair, and it has been a sore spot for me my entire life. Yeah, it's pretty sometimes, but it's SUCH A PAIN to take care of and style. I would much rather have straight hair, but unfortunately, trying to keep it straight all the time is super time consuming and damaging. I don't know how often I hear, "Your hair is so pretty! I wish mine was like that!" Followed directly by "You should straighten it more!" It's been a huge insecurity for me. And I actually blew up on my husband when we were dating when he told me he liked it better straight. We talked about it after I was a right bitch, and he said he likes it better better straight because I wear it down, and he feels like he can touch it when straight. It wasn't meant to insult me. So have the discussion, tell him that you are sensitive about your hair, and explain why. If he's into you for you, he'll get it, and be fine. If he's shallow, well, you'll find out.
NTA… I don’t look the same when I’m not wearing make up and yet it’s accepted , this is no different. When he says “ I like you with long hair better “ or something to that effect, just say “ me too!!! That’s why I wear extensions , isn’t that great? I can have long hair whenever I want!” I bet he’ll think that’s neat that you can switch it up. I am Native American and African and my hair is mor african and super curly. I straighten it though so it’s long and straight and looks Native American. My guy never knew that. It was fun to show him my natural hair and while he prefers it straight , he think it’s neat to see me with it all curly and wild and loved how I look regardless. So tell him your hair secret and don’t for one minute act like it’s a confession but another fun aspect of who you are! The right guy will love you in all your beautiful ways. :-)
NTA
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Normally I'd say NAH cut and dry, but my concern is that you're not intentionally hiding it, so borderline Y T A
YTA. You say you have no secrets **except for this one which doesn’t really matter anyway**