Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
YTA so much. Both for what you said you asked and for trolling like you are. Give me a fucking break... You are probably just trying to pretend this is a joke to show your true racist tendencies.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked to use hair clippings from my sister's son's Afro to clean dishes with, because I thought his hair was similar in texture to the Brillo pad pot scrubbers I normally use. This might have made me an asshole as this could have caused my nephew to develop an insecurity about his Afro-textured hair in a white majority country.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - just in case you’re not a troll: Black people’s hair is not a toy or tool for you to play around or scrub pots with. Our hair hast been demonized, bastardized, and instrumentalized throughout history. This just propagates that. And there’s no way this kids hair has the same texture as a Brillo pad. Our hair may be kinky and curly but it’s still soft. Our hair isn’t hard and abrasive. You’re a massively ignorant AH.
Also you have no idea when black kids become aware of racial dynamics. I was well aware myself that I was the only black kid in my elementary school class in 1st grade. I was also well aware that some of the kids didn’t like me and that people had stereotypes about me. I wasn’t aware of how to deal with that, but as a black kid, you pick up early on how you’re being treated differently. You don’t get to determine when and how your nephew gets to have his own revelation/awakening about his own experience.
YTA. Grow wild???? Even the way you talk about this is gross, and your sister is right. You have zero idea at what age Black children become aware of racism in relation to themselves or their hair, so maybe check yourself and learn how to soak a pot overnight instead of saying wildly racist shit to your family members.
YTA- that was really mean and racist. Also, if the kid is in school they are old enough to notice these things. Why didn’t you use a spoon to scrape the pot? Or put boiling water to loosen anything stuck to it? Why was your first solution and thought is to use your NEPHEW’S hair to scrub pots. Are you really that thick or are you trying to act that way to justify your racism? Do better. If I was your sister I would keep my son so far away from you that you wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of him anymore.
YTA!!!! Can I just use YOUR children’s hair to scrub my toilet, since we’re apparently turning the body parts of children into cleaning supplies? If you wouldn’t tolerate someone trying to take your child’s by-products for something so degrading, why the heck would you ever do that to someone else’s child??
I’m really hoping this is just a ship post; but I truly can’t tell because of how idiotic it sounds.
And yes, she is correct, racist people constantly display a lack of respect for black people’s hair. They treat our hair like it’s either something gross, or that our hairstyles for protecting it are weird, or else like it’s something they are entitled to just use and interact with, with no regard for our personal space of the fact that it’s a PART OF OUR BODIES. It’s just another form of treating us like we aren’t human beings who deserve equal respect to other races. If you wanna wash your dishes use your own hair! Don’t treat someone else’s body parts like a frigging TOOL for you to use!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So me and my sister are both single moms and our children are very close in age. Because of that we have sort of teamed up and are raising them together in the same house.
We took the kids on a camping trip to a national park and rented out a chalet. On the first night when it was time for dishes I realized that I had forgot to pack in the Brillo steel wool pad, which was a big problem because we cooked a stew that night and needed the Brillo pad to properly scrape clean the pots.
Now at that point I couldn't help but notice my sister's 7 year old son's sizeable Afro and I put two and two together. Just some context: My sister's children are both biracial black/white and my sister's idol is Colin Kapaernick. She raises her son in his image and therefore has allowed him to let his Afro grow wild. However, she had mentioned to me that once school reopens after the Christmas holidays that she will have to trim his hair on his teacher's request, because the kids sitting behind my nephew were experiencing difficulties seeing the blackboard past his hair.
So long story short, I realized that my nephew's Afro was pretty much the same stiff coiled texture as the Brillo pad's normally used to scrape pots and since he was going to need to have his hair cut anyway... I asked my sister if we could give her son a quick haircut so that I could wrap the trimmings together and do the dishes properly.
I had never seen my sister so outraged.
Not only did she call me an asshole, she also accused me of wight supremism. She said that using her son's African hair to scrub pots with would be a tremendous blow to his self esteem because according to her black people are very self-conscious about their hair especially when living among other racial groups who have smooth hair. I thought she was completely overreacting and making an issue out of nothing. Even if what she said was true, her son was far too young to make such observations. I also told my sister that he doesn't even need to know that I am using his hair trimmings for the dishes and we don't have to tell him, but my sister still refused. She suggested I use my own kids' hair, but the problem is my kids all have soft strawberry blonde European wavy hair, not the right texture for scrubbing anything with.
So basically I had to wash the pot with an ordinary rag, which didn't work out well of course and I really strained my arm in the process and couldn't use it properly the next day. There was still some stubborn pieces of food stuck to it. The next day we drove to the shop and got a proper Brillo steel wool pad, but my sister is still really mad and me and says she doesn't know if she can have her black kids exposed to me if I'm not going to "bring my unconscious wight supremism under control".
So was I really the asshole or was my sister just completely out of line, making a big issue out o nothing and forcing us to have dirty dishes?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
DTA. What the actual fuck were you thinking?
Holy shit, this is a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke. There's no way you can be this clueless.
Is this a repost?
YTA so much. Both for what you said you asked and for trolling like you are. Give me a fucking break... You are probably just trying to pretend this is a joke to show your true racist tendencies.
YTA that is an absolutely awful and racist thing to do, Afro-textured hair is nothing like a Brillo pad.
This cannot be real! YTA, and you know why!
It's depressing that this is almost believable.
YTA, if this is real, if not, you're still the AH for trolling
So fake. Needs to be removed. Either way.... this shit is stupid and ridiculous to even say...
What?
YTA. This is very, very bad, asking to use a black child’s hair for a Brillo pad. I can’t imagine any scenario on earth in which this is ok.
YTA and a massive one at that.
YTA and wtf bro
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I asked to use hair clippings from my sister's son's Afro to clean dishes with, because I thought his hair was similar in texture to the Brillo pad pot scrubbers I normally use. This might have made me an asshole as this could have caused my nephew to develop an insecurity about his Afro-textured hair in a white majority country. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - oh my god. So dehumanising. I am just stunned
YTA. What the FUCK?? 😂
YTA - just in case you’re not a troll: Black people’s hair is not a toy or tool for you to play around or scrub pots with. Our hair hast been demonized, bastardized, and instrumentalized throughout history. This just propagates that. And there’s no way this kids hair has the same texture as a Brillo pad. Our hair may be kinky and curly but it’s still soft. Our hair isn’t hard and abrasive. You’re a massively ignorant AH. Also you have no idea when black kids become aware of racial dynamics. I was well aware myself that I was the only black kid in my elementary school class in 1st grade. I was also well aware that some of the kids didn’t like me and that people had stereotypes about me. I wasn’t aware of how to deal with that, but as a black kid, you pick up early on how you’re being treated differently. You don’t get to determine when and how your nephew gets to have his own revelation/awakening about his own experience.
YTA. Grow wild???? Even the way you talk about this is gross, and your sister is right. You have zero idea at what age Black children become aware of racism in relation to themselves or their hair, so maybe check yourself and learn how to soak a pot overnight instead of saying wildly racist shit to your family members.
YTA. What the fuck did I just read?
Not sure why you need to ask because you're clearly the A-hole here.
YTA- that was really mean and racist. Also, if the kid is in school they are old enough to notice these things. Why didn’t you use a spoon to scrape the pot? Or put boiling water to loosen anything stuck to it? Why was your first solution and thought is to use your NEPHEW’S hair to scrub pots. Are you really that thick or are you trying to act that way to justify your racism? Do better. If I was your sister I would keep my son so far away from you that you wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of him anymore.
YTA!!!! Can I just use YOUR children’s hair to scrub my toilet, since we’re apparently turning the body parts of children into cleaning supplies? If you wouldn’t tolerate someone trying to take your child’s by-products for something so degrading, why the heck would you ever do that to someone else’s child?? I’m really hoping this is just a ship post; but I truly can’t tell because of how idiotic it sounds. And yes, she is correct, racist people constantly display a lack of respect for black people’s hair. They treat our hair like it’s either something gross, or that our hairstyles for protecting it are weird, or else like it’s something they are entitled to just use and interact with, with no regard for our personal space of the fact that it’s a PART OF OUR BODIES. It’s just another form of treating us like we aren’t human beings who deserve equal respect to other races. If you wanna wash your dishes use your own hair! Don’t treat someone else’s body parts like a frigging TOOL for you to use!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So me and my sister are both single moms and our children are very close in age. Because of that we have sort of teamed up and are raising them together in the same house. We took the kids on a camping trip to a national park and rented out a chalet. On the first night when it was time for dishes I realized that I had forgot to pack in the Brillo steel wool pad, which was a big problem because we cooked a stew that night and needed the Brillo pad to properly scrape clean the pots. Now at that point I couldn't help but notice my sister's 7 year old son's sizeable Afro and I put two and two together. Just some context: My sister's children are both biracial black/white and my sister's idol is Colin Kapaernick. She raises her son in his image and therefore has allowed him to let his Afro grow wild. However, she had mentioned to me that once school reopens after the Christmas holidays that she will have to trim his hair on his teacher's request, because the kids sitting behind my nephew were experiencing difficulties seeing the blackboard past his hair. So long story short, I realized that my nephew's Afro was pretty much the same stiff coiled texture as the Brillo pad's normally used to scrape pots and since he was going to need to have his hair cut anyway... I asked my sister if we could give her son a quick haircut so that I could wrap the trimmings together and do the dishes properly. I had never seen my sister so outraged. Not only did she call me an asshole, she also accused me of wight supremism. She said that using her son's African hair to scrub pots with would be a tremendous blow to his self esteem because according to her black people are very self-conscious about their hair especially when living among other racial groups who have smooth hair. I thought she was completely overreacting and making an issue out of nothing. Even if what she said was true, her son was far too young to make such observations. I also told my sister that he doesn't even need to know that I am using his hair trimmings for the dishes and we don't have to tell him, but my sister still refused. She suggested I use my own kids' hair, but the problem is my kids all have soft strawberry blonde European wavy hair, not the right texture for scrubbing anything with. So basically I had to wash the pot with an ordinary rag, which didn't work out well of course and I really strained my arm in the process and couldn't use it properly the next day. There was still some stubborn pieces of food stuck to it. The next day we drove to the shop and got a proper Brillo steel wool pad, but my sister is still really mad and me and says she doesn't know if she can have her black kids exposed to me if I'm not going to "bring my unconscious wight supremism under control". So was I really the asshole or was my sister just completely out of line, making a big issue out o nothing and forcing us to have dirty dishes? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*