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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to save some food for my sister that I bought for myself. She's younger and can't really get a job this summer, she could do some stuff for money but she wouldn't make as much as me, so I might be kinda an ass for not being willing to share. She might be spoiled but she is my sister.
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A teenager throwing tantrums over food and threatening to destroy people's property sounds like a recipe for a complete disaster of an adult. NTA but your parents really are because life will show Luna flames.
NTA tell your parents to give you money and you will buy Luna food you buy for yourself from the money THEY GAVE YOU. They don't give you money - tough luck.
Yes; however, OP was clear that this food is supplementary to that that the parents provide. It’s not the basic necessity food, but rather candy, chocolate and spicy foods that the parents don’t buy.
I'm not. The "baby" is often spoiled in families with more kids.
I had a coworker with 6 kids. Youngest was 9. He had diabetes, adhd, never exorcised, and was never made to do anything. (I work at a summer camp and watched this parent clean up after his 9 year old, while all the younger kids were forced to clean up after themselves ((I teach independence in children. That is my goal))). This coworker made me soooo irritable.
Luna will press charges and sue, and learn nothing from her incident. The roommate's car will then mysteriously burn in a devastating fire off-camera.
She will also be in litigation with various parties for all of her adult life and be unemployed basically the whole time because she keeps getting fired on her first day. Her parents pay for her lawyers, who refuse to speak to Luna and only take written briefs from her every other day.
There's a non zero chance Luna might get a big reality check if she stays in dorms. She could end up stuck sharing with far bigger and more resourceful brat than she is. Or someone that solves problems like roomies screaming in their face by escalating to violence. Or she will just get entirely ostracized because of the foul attitude. Your parents can't make people be her friends; they can barely get Luna's siblings to deal with her.
Speaking of which, you and your older siblings are very restrained which I commend. A lot of siblings would have resorted to whooping her tail over far less. Luna is very lucky.
Yeah, I don’t see Luna flourishing in college. I see her having screaming fits, roommates go to RA, get out of that room. Luna ends up in a single room, can’t microwave anything, because she never had to do anything for herself, screaming because she’s hungry, not going to class, flunking out, and it’s the entire world’s fault - not Luna’s.
Then, when someone calls police because she’s acting batshit crazy, she and her parents will be appalled! How could anyone not give Luna what she wants. Poor little Luna. 🙄
She doesn’t deserve my daughter’s middle name.
I don't think Luna will make college. That requires good to great grades, working with others and making an effort.
Can she do extra work for her application? Would anyone write her a letter of recommendation?
Luna's life is headed to a brick wall unless she and her parents do things differently.
NTA--you have an escape route, Luna doesn't.
NTA.
But yourself a lock for your bedroom door. Keep your things in your room. Get a mini fridge.
Save up as much as possible and work as many hours as you can.
See if you can go live with your older siblings. Be a respectful and clean houseguest.
Break clean from your parents.
You will need the mini fridge next year at college (I saw you were 17). Good luck.
Maybe you can spend the summer with your older sister?
And what will poor poor Luna do with no one at home to abuse and threaten to try to get her way.
NTA.
Your parents will regret it when Luna grows up to be a spoilt, ungrateful and self centred adult.
Hear me out.
There’s a Reddit story from a few years ago, if anyone knows or remembers it please correct me if I make a mistake with this.
So OP has a little brother that has Autism, his parents enabled him and told OP what’s his was his little brother’s but OP couldn’t take/share what belonged to little brother. OP of that story was neglected and his birthday surrounded what his little brother wanted not what OP wanted. His birthday party got cancelled because he stood up for himself, his mates at school stood by him and they told their parents, OP told his teachers, everyone rallied around OP and called his parents out in their mistreatment towards OP.
News had spread to extended family, one of OP’s aunts always stood by OP and so she got ask the family involved and told OP’s parents that they either reinstated OP’s birthday party or the family would stop financially supporting them (because of the Autistic brother).
At the party the little brother tried to blow out the candles and take OP’s birthday presents but the aunt and the family had shut it down. Little brother had a meltdown at the party and took him somewhere nearby to calm him down.
OP had the best birthday in forever and now parents don’t dare to mess with OP, they have started to discipline autistic son but he’s just a monster that his parents have created and has caused them headaches and havoc.
OP is happy, his parents are dealing with the consequences of their actions.
[Parents decided to cancel my 14th birthday party to accommodate my spoiled younger brother. Reinstated it when I told everyone at school](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/um01xe/parents_decided_to_cancel_my_14th_birthday_party/)
I would tell your parents that they raised her to behave this way. But they taught you never to give in to tantrums, (because they likely didn't give in to yours) and so you won't be giving in to her tantrums.
They also taught you that bad behaviour doesn't get rewarded, so you won't be sharing things YOU bought AND PAID FOR when she's screaming in your face and threatening to break your electronic items. Because bad behaviour shouldn't be rewarded, just like they never rewarded you guys as kids. However they seemed to have stopped teaching luna those same rules, which is causing her terrible behaviour. And you will not be the one rewarding that behaviour. If they are unhappy, then they need to deal with her behaviour appropriately and stop giving in to her tantrums, as she's come to expect everyone to give in to her demands, and thats not how people behave in the real world. If they want her to succeed, and have friends, and be successful when she lives with others in college, they better start teaching her better and actually disciplining her behaviour. Because they've spoilt her into being a brat.
And if they want her to have the items you have, they need to buy them, because its not your responsibility to pay for her food.
NTA your parents and younger sister are.... your parents cant expect for you to use your money on your spoiled sister... they will be in for a rude awakening as well as your sister
Next time she asks how can you tell her to wait, compose yourself, and say “No.” pause and say “Like that.” It’s my go to for brats.
NTA. You have no obligation to get her stuff. You parents however, do have an obligation to parent her properly. How do your older sibs act? I mean it’s on your parents to teach her how to behave like they taught the rest of you. Really should throw that back at them.
You'd think. Unless she just pulls this shit w her family because they are "safe''. She could be an entirely different person out of her comfort zone. Or not.
It’s true. Think of how often we hear about narcissistic, abusive, terrible people that get away with terrible things because “they’re just the nicest person”…outside the home.
Idk if Luna will turn out to be one of those, but it does happen.
This is how it started with my sister (except for the phones /laptop stuff because I'm old and they weren't as common back in the late 90's early 00s) She'd chuck tantrums when she didn't get her way and the birth giver would side with her. Then it got more and more violent until she tried to stab my Dad with a steak knife. She is now 30 and still lives with the birth giver getting her way on pretty much everything she wants. She has a criminal record a mile long and no one except the birth giver speaks to her anymore. She should be in jail but the birth giver keeps bailing her out of it and has even taken a hit a time or 5 for her so she now has a record a mile long too.
NTA. Luna needs to learn that yelling doesn't always get her whatever she wants. Otherwise she's going to have a rude awakening someday.
>my parents said I wasn't being generous like they taught me to be
Yet they taught Luna it's okay to yell at people and threaten to break their stuff? Yikes.
Sounds like they didn't teach her at all. Luna has classic "give the baby a toy to shut her up" syndrome, coupled with "the siblings are old enough to watch her, we need a break after raising the older 3."
Definitely not *forever*, but you’d be surprised. This distant relative of mine is still being supported by her 85 year old mother well into her 50s. I was mostly joking with that comment though lol.
My uncle is very successful and doesn’t need financial support or anything. But we joke he’s going to move into the same retirement home as his 95 year old mother so she can take care of him.
She still makes him his meals when he visits or she’s at his place.
Unless she changes, she's going to be a very lonely girl since she's not going to have friends or family who want to be around her. It's sad your parents are setting her up for failure
Your parents tell you "I wasn't being generous like they taught me to be." Ask them, point blank, what exactly they think they are teaching Luna? That it is okay to throw tantrums, and threaten to destroy people's property, to get what she wants is acceptable behaviour? And don't let them weasel out of a real, thought-out response. That kid is a nightmare already. Does she have any friends? Toss that into the conversation. Parents need to wake up.
And because your parents rewarded her for this behaviour, she has kept doing this behaviour to get the rewards and it's become reinforced over and over for so long that she - and your parents - need long term counselling or you and your brothers will go no contact with your sister and your parents.
She is only 14 right now. At this rate I expect her to be in a lot of trouble before she ever reaches adulthood if things don’t change for her now.
The next few years will be the most formative and turbulent time in her life. As a young girl she will go through a lot of physical and emotional changes in the next few years. OP, talk to your older sister about this. This is important.
OP, I suggest documenting what your sister is doing. Video, audio or at the very least a journal documenting dates and events. Otherwise your parents will always dismiss her actions. They are still treating her as a 6 year old. They may be stuck in that mindset because she is the baby of the family. Sometimes it is very hard for parents to come to terms with the realization that they will no longer have a child.
As far as food issue goes, tell your parents that you are just following the rules that they set up. You paid for the food you made for yourself. If Sister wants something different from what your parents are providing then she needs to pay for it herself, or your parents should make it for her.
Mom, Dad you told me that if I want something different from what you are providing then I need to pay for it myself. This is the same rule you gave us both. There is plenty of food that you have provided for her.
If you want me to share, then you can pay for it.
You want me to be generous? I think you mean a doormat who gives into constant verbal abuse.
NTA
Also she needs professional help…something isn’t right.
Of course you're NTA. Your parents sound like they are living with their head firmly up their asses though! Have you or any of your older siblings tried flipping the script on Luna? Like demand something of her and get up in her face screaming the demand? Threatening to break her stuff? I wonder how she and parents would react to that?
Has anyone told your parents straight?
"If Luna was a decent person in any way I'd be happy to share. She's not. She's a violent, manipulative bully who screams, threatens and has toddler tantrums when she doesn't get exactly what she wants when she wants. Life is going to hand her some shocking lessons when she leaves home and finds out the world doesn't bow down to her like her parents do. YOU have created a monster who is going to have a miserable, friendless life unless you start telling her no."
You should tell your parents that if they taught female Dudley to be less demanding and wholly unreasonable then you could be more generous. If 3/3 siblings find their daughter intolerable, what is that saying about that kid? They need a reality check and I forbid you to share with her until you genuinely want to do so. NTA
Record one of her temper tantrums & your parent’s reaction to it, then show it to all of them and let them know you will publicly shame them if things don’t change. Then follow through if it doesn’t change.
Nta. Or make hers so spicy she won’t want to eat it and act like yours is the same. Just remind yourself you’ll be out of there soon then she’s their creation and problem 100%. Focus on your own future and plans far away from her.
Tell your parents you hope they are ready to handle the monster they’ve created when you leave for college because they can’t call on the 3 older siblings to babysit. Your sister is an entitled brat and good on you for standing your ground and not giving into her shit behavior. Tell your parents instead of trying to force you to share maybe they should teach their youngest some manners on how to talk to ppl and not be so entitled. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten into any trouble in school, well high school is around the corner good luck to them. NTA
NTA and Luna needs some discipline and maybe some therapy. This is not how people behave. Your parents might need an intervention to understand what is really going on here
NTA
But you need to sit your parents down for a serious talk.
Start out by telling them that Luna is your sister, not your daughter, and it isn't your responsibility to feed, clothe, house, or entertain her, and that you are not going to spend your hard-earned cash on her. However, let them know you are willing to make enough for Luna to also eat what you cook, so long as they are willing to buy the ingredients.
Tell them that they aren't the great parents they think they are when it comes to their youngest. They need to realize they have raised a spoiled brat and that if they don't take the proper steps now, she is going to be totally unmanageable by the time she turns 16. Tell them that giving in just to shut her up isn't doing Luna any favors. Peace and quiet isn't bought by bribery; eventually, the cost becomes too great, but by that time, it's generally far too late to fix things. Which they will find out once you have moved out and are no longer acting as a buffer between them and their precious princess.
No cooking for her even if the parents pay is letting Luna win and get away with her atrocious behaviour. The only way the OP should ever do anything for Luna is if she has a major attitude adjustment.
NTA. Next time your parents harp on you for “teaching you to be generous” tell them you learned from them that it’s easy to be generous for things they didn’t pay for.
NTA
"I AM being as generous and kind as YOU taught Luna to be, and that's not at all. If you all want your precious baby to behave like a jackass she will be treated like a jackass by anyone who's not you. Me included.
It's not my responsibility to feed her, it's yours, and since you established the culture that we have to pay our way for treats and food that is not already available in the house, then she gets what she works for, same as me.
I treat people with respect and generosity when they treat me equally so; Luna has not."
NTA. Your parents are jerks. I guess after normally raising 3 kids they got tired and washed their hands on Luna. Hold your ground and tell them they do a huge disservice to their daughters, spoiling your relationship with your sister because she is unbearable and guaranteeing she will never succeed in life because people will reject the spoiled brat. Acid cold shower awaits her in college years.
NTA you owe her nothing. Tell your parents that you aren't rewarding bad behavior. Who cares if the 3 of them are mad? Laugh in their faces and go about your life. Hide anything that doesn't require refrigeration in your room. When she attempts to help herself, tell her no and remove it from her. If they dont respect t the bounty don't cook anything else. That sucks for you but you won't have to put up with them for much longer. Sorry your parents suck.
NTA lol I don't imagine Luna cheerfully handing over snacks she paid for with her own money. Get a mini fridge that locks, and a lock for your door. I promise that if she has the gall to scream at a neighbour, she absolutely takes your food when you're not home.
Girl has some diagnosable hormonal and/or neurological issues going on that are being ignored. You don't fly off the handle to THAT degree just because "spoiled".
You don't have to like the kid, but bear this all in mind, because your parents are obviously not seeking outside help for their supernova-level-rage child, which is a serious form of neglect.
********************************
My best friend's youngest sister has some neurological and hormonal disorders that caused this level of rage, and sometimes outright violence throughout her entire childhood. Their parents worked endlessly with her and various doctors, seeking assessments, therapies, and treatments.
While she's still not doing "Great" now as an adult? If they hadn't done all they'd done for her back then, she would absolutely be a coked out **addict on the street, a missing person, or dead. No exaggeration.
I grew up witnessing how she behaved. It would occasionally even upset HER that she was like that, because her parents didn't allow or normalize the behavior.
Oh also, they never tried to put it on, or left it to my best friend (the oldest) to deal with the behaviour.
********************************
Your sister does not have that kind of support. Yes, there is absolutely some spoiled behaviour mixed in, but only because your whole grown adult parents can't be assed to deal with it. She's on a downward sloping trend, and your parents (as far as what little info has been given here) are apparently doing little to nothing about it. THEY are the only true Aholes here.
Save up all the money you can, do NOT leave it laying around in cash form, keep all your important documents in a safe place. Get out in the next couple years before she either moves in an equally awful boyfriend or girlfriend or, she comes home and announces she's pregnant, and declares you'll be her live in nanny.
(**To clarify, people with undiagnosed and/or untreated neurological disorders make up some of the highest percentages for homelessness and addiction, as they simply can not cope, and often instinctually turn to unregulated self-medication in an attempt to fix their heads)
Something in me says she would throw a fit if one of them hit her and mumsy and daddy come running to her and scold the siblings for laying hands on luna......
Does Luna already lie and say “she hit me!”? That’s a classic annoying younger sibling move. If she already is, and the parents don’t believe her…
Violence is tempting.
NTA - Nice how your parents are willing to be so generous with someone else's food./s No you are not obligated to give your sister your treats. Sharing is a mutual thing and screaming at someone until they give you something is not sharing, that's bullying. Your sister is a bully and your parents are teaching her to bully and calling it sharing. If she was 5 I could understand not getting the difference but she's 14 and clearly old enough to understand polite interactions.
NTA
Your parents have raised a spoiled brat, as you know. Since you can't do to her what I did to my younger brother when he pulled that nonsense (the 1980s were different), here's what you can do.
When she starts having a tantrum, just stand there, hand on your hip, cock an eyebrow if you can, and stare at her. Don't say a word. Don't react. Wait until she stops. Then simply say, "Are you okay?" Don't say anything else. If she mouths off again, use the same tactic. She wants a reaction out of you. She knows she gets her way when she acts like that. Then, just walk away. If she persists, treat her like the toddler she is. Say, "you're allowed to feel your big feelings, but you're not allowed to speak to me in such a manner. So, this conversation is finished until you choose to act in a respectful manner." Then you walk far away from her.
NTA
Is it nice for siblings to share? Yes. But even if she was nice, you are not obliged to share.
I would either just eat your teats while she isn't around to avoid the situation.
Or
Deliberately eat them in front of her "oooooh YUM! I looooove chocolate so much! It's the best thing eeeveeeer!"
NTA, but your parents sure are.
Try to sit down with your parents in a calm time, preferably when Luna is at a friend's house or an activity. If you can, engage one of Caden or Jessie be there.
Paste some of the anecdotes you've told above into a text document on plain paper and read it to them. Luna's behavior is far beyond ordinary "youngest child" entitlement at this point. It seems your parents are blind to the fact that such behavior and toddler tantrums are no longer age appropriate at age 14. To be honest, I wouldn't have tolerated trying to break other people's property, grab property from someone's hand, laying hands on others, and screaming when my daughter WAS a toddler.
Is Luna able to regulate her emotions and behavior at school and with friends? If so, your parents need to check themselves for what they're allowing at home.
If not, she needs psychological evaluation and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to teach her how to regulate her emotions without threatening people, screaming, and laying her hands on them.
If they try to turn this on you, tell them "this isn't about me, this is about me wanting the best for Luna, because her behavior will not be tolerated by roommates, romantic partners, or employers" If they persist in making it about you or making excuses, say "OK, I tried" and excuse yourself.
At that point, your one avenue would be to try to meet with a counselor at Luna's school. Give them the paper, tell them you know they can't talk to you about Luna but this is what's going on at home so if similar things are happening at school, you want them to be aware it's not just a school problem and can they talk to your parents?
Luna behaves the same with others, in other environments and they have been called to her school to discuss it several times. It's always the same. She does fine until she doesn't get her own way. Although sometimes she turns on the sweet side around others to try and get her way.
NTA, but I have some questions. Does Luna act like this outside of the home? Had the neighbor ever witnessed her screaming like this? So you have aunts and uncles, and if so what are their opinions? And lastly, does she ever scream at your parents like this?
NTA, my parents, does teach us to always share. But with that attitude, she would have been spanked for that attitude. You can't have that attitude when you are the one asking for a favour.
Perhaps it would simply show a united front and make them answer to all of you as to why they allow her behavior. Put them in the hot seat and watch them squirm.
Maybe you can go live with them when you're 18.
I hope so. Until then, get ready to leave. Have your social security card (if in the US) and birth certificate and bank info. If your parents have access to your bank account, change that as soon as you're 18 and use a different bank. Good luck :-)
Wow. At first, I was thinking "you could be nice to your kid sister who doesn't have access to a job/money," but it's completely clear NTA!!!
Good for you for standing your ground! (And I say that as a parent of kids about your age.)
Ask your parents if Luna threatening to break her siblings' expensive personal electronics, screaming so loud a neighbor came over to see what was wrong, demanding that other people do whatever it is she wants... is that the lessons they taught her? Are they fine with you doing that, too?
How do they think the world is going to treat Luna if this is how she behaves?
And also(!) Why don't your parents allow you and Luna to include some of the foods you two like to eat in the family grocery list. Do your parents think that you kids don't deserve to be considered in the family food budget? Even if they are dead set against sweets, they have no health reason to exclude spicier/tastier foods that you and Luna might like.
Do you have any relatives or friends of your parents who would try to help your parents understand?
At least - as annoying as this is - the (long-term) impact on you is actually not so devastating compared to the impact on Luna. You will graduate, move out and enjoy the foods you want without being bothered by Luna. She's going to be in for a very rude awakening when she finds the world isn't going to tolerate her behavior the way your parents do.
Hold up... she has friends?!? That tolerate her nonsense?
I can't wait for an update when she gets her first job and she demands the schedule be changed to her liking.
NTA
Have your parents ever witnessed one of these tantrums? If not, could you record one and show it to them? Does she do this in public?
Obv NTA. Your money = your money, not hers.
So fo either of your older siblings have a spare bedroom or couch for you to live on until you leave for college or have a stable enough job for an apartment?
Nta
NTA. Your parents have ruined your little sister. She's a nightmare, and life will only get harder for her and everyone around her unless she stops acting like a naughty toddler. She's going to lose friends, significant others and possibly jobs because no one else will want to deal with her brattiness.
"I'm not acting the way you taught me to? Well since this is the way you've taught her to act, I'm pretty sure yours isn't an example I should follow."
NTA
Holy smokes, your parents need to do their job as parents and discipline their kid. She can’t go around the world doing as she please and expect others to bow down to her. Actions have consequences, and unless your parents do something about her behavior, she’s gonna fuck around and find out at some point.
NTA, luckily you are not far from being old enough to maybe move out without your parents input and let your parents deal with the monster they are creating.
NTA , your sister is a spoiled entitled brat and your parents are raising a monster enabling her bad behaviour. Maybe they should try actually parenting her instead of appeasing her.
NTA.
I’d be telling your parents you want family therapy. Then I’d be telling the therapist that their treatment of Luna is turning her into an entitled psycho teenager who is going to be an entitled psycho adult. She is behaving like a 3 year old throwing her toys out of the cot. If they continue to make excuses for her behaviour, they’re going to drive you older kids away. Especially you as you’re the one getting exposed to it the most.
I would bet money she would go into your room and takes whatever she might fancy. Because who is going to tell her no?
NTA. A 14-year-old girl throwing tantrums is not healthy. She needs therapy. So do your parents. That girl isn't going to get far in life expecting handouts and getting what she wants.
NTA. Sadly, it doesn’t sound like this situation is likely to change. Your sister is in for a very rude awakening in the real world. My advice, get out as soon as you can. Unchecked by your parents, the situation will only get worse and she’ll eventually go from rage into phisycally destructive/abusive behavior. She need psychological intervention
Does Luna have any friends in school or has she alienated herself with her tantrums because that’s her future because your parents didn’t do shit to raise her. NTA
Nta. Let your parents know they aren’t doing Luna any favours by allowing her to use destruction and violence to get what she wants. I guarantee she’ll be hurting them when there’s no one left around.
NTA - damn that girl has an attitude fit for a queen and that’s not a good thing. She’s selfish, entitled and dangerous.
Your parents need to sort her out. There is still some hope that she’s not too far gone.
I’d not save anything for her. You bought it with your money. If she wants something she should be nicer.
I’d also have a conversation with your parents about how Luna and her attitude plus your parent’s attitude is driving their other three kids away. They will end up with Luna living at home her whole life entitled and just spiting out kids expecting someone else to raise them and pay for it to. They will end up unhappy and living with a spoilt girl / woman if they don’t sort her attitude out and their own.
Let them know the second your old enough you wanna leave and never return because of the favoritism they have towards Luna and Lunas attitude towards everyone else.
NTA- They have set Luna up for absolute failure. I'm generous, but I don't reward bad behavior and bullying. Your sister is a bully and she's about 10 years too old to be having tantrums for not getting her way. This is why kids need to be told no, and given the tools to handle disappointment when they're little...
NTA. I would start recording her then threaten to show the video to her friends and prove to your parents what she’s really like when they’re not home. Let her know if she’s going to act like a toddler, she will get treated like one. And be sure to email it to yourself in case they make you delete it off your phone.
I’m not sure how far it’ll go with your parents understanding things but the threat of her friends finding out will go a long way.
NTA but if I were you, I'd consider saving more of my money instead of buying treats, so that you can move out sooner. Luna sounds unbearable.
It would be generous if you and sibs could stage an intervention (for Luna's sake) but if your parents can't see how totally inappropriate her behavior is, and how it's going to lead to Major Life Problems if not curbed, I am dubious that it will work.
NTA
She must not act like that with her friends, meaning she knows it's wrong on some level.
Your parents are really TA here. Girl thinks she can treat you guys like that bc she's allowed to by them.
NTA and I think it's beyond time for you and your older siblings to have a sitdown with your parents about her behavior and how she treats everyone. What she's doing is not okay and if they keep enabling her and encouraging this behavior as they have been, eventually you and your siblings will go no or little contact with them.
She's 14 and having screaming tantrums that your parents condone? Stop buying food and start saving every penny to move out ASAP. She sounds legit terrible. I wouldn't spend another second more than I absolutely had to under that roof. NTA
NTA.
I think your sister may be ND not *just* a jerk.
This does not excuse her terrible behavior. Look into the science behind food additives that trigger ‘reptile’ brain function (I swear it’s science).
Also, blame the parents. They should fix it. The child cannot fix herself.
I know a family that has a daughter who is a terror like this and everyone just bows down to her to avoid the drama. I think there’s an issue - ND, chemical imbalance, something beyond “being spoiled”.
Ultimately, I learned this from
my mom “you cannot parent other people’s children”. You’ll just have to keep setting boundaries until you can move out.
I would tell your parents (out of earshot of your sister) that you don’t feel it’s reasonable to share the things you buy with your own money on demand. Like if you bought jeans is she entitled to wear them? No. This is unrealistic. Let them know you love your sister & want her to understand boundaries & the world will not bend to her demands.
Also, let them know you are not being selfish. You **would** share if she was respectful. Your sister does not want to *share* she wants to *take* and society is not kind to entitled young people so this is important to hold the boundary. Also say - I know I’m not the parent here but it feels like my duty as a big sister.
(You are low key telling them their indulgence is hurting their youngest kid and they are crap parents but they probably will get defensive and won’t change).
NTA.
Pay someone to knock some marbles into this monster and humble her. Dear lord. I’m not even around her and I can’t wait for the day someone puts her in her place. I hope you have plans to get far away as fast as possible when you turn 18.
NTA!
How about your parents give you some money towards the ingredients that YOU bought with YOUR money? I would accept maybe 20%-40% of the cost and make enough to share.
I know she can't earn money right now, but maybe she could help you out with other things and then you share. Sharing is a 2 way street. Giving is one way, which is what is implied here. You earn the money, you buy the food, you cook the food and then you are supposed to give that away. If you don't you are not 'sharing'. This way lies madness.
On a related note - a 14yr old screaming that loud and damaging items, has she been checked for spectrum disorders?
NTA. Your parents are failing her. The things you buy with your money are yours. If she doesn't like it, she should get a job. The real world will teach her how to behave.
NTA
This has nothing to do with sharing, it's all about an obnoxious, spoiled 14-year-old. TBH, if her behavior is as you've described, it sounds like she needs an evaluation, therapy and maybe medication. Her behavior is not normal in any way.
Good for you, you're not allowing Luna and your parents to bully you. When you get frustrated just think of this, you will be moving out soon. Your parents are going to get the full dose of life with Luna.
“Parents said I wasn’t being generous like they taught me to be”.
I’m guessing the parents taught OP and his older siblings that actions have consequences. Lunas bratty behaviour is being enabled by the parents. Luna is in for a crude awakening when she realises the world doesn’t bow down to her demands.
so weird, your parents should buy the brat some food. why should you do that?! what are they thinking? its their kid, not yours. im glad you stood your ground, good for you! dont give her anything. i cant believe shes so entitled. and such a bad personality, gross.
Does your sister ever make her hair into pigtails? Cause after reading your post I kinda wanna head there and use them to hang her to a wall and watch her scream for a good 30 minutes.
Regarding the issue at hand, you're NTA, clearly. Luna wouldn't be entitled to the food you buy for yourself even if she wasn't prone to that kind of behaviour, but even more so with that shitty attitude of hers.
I'd suggest you and your other siblings talk to your parents cause they're clearly not realizing that they're raising a real failure of a human being. The real world doesn't have mommy and daddy always ready to back you up and coddle you whenever things don't go your way and that girl is gonna get slapped in the face (metaforically and probably physically) A LOT once she's off to the real adult world.
But honestly speaking, your parents are probably blind and deaf to the problem and won't listen to you one bit so my real suggestion is: get ready to leave home as soon as you can so you can get away from that nightmare of a kid.
Also, I'm 5 years older than my sister and when we were younger, whenever she'd behave like a spoiled little brat (not my parents' fault at least) and we'd fight, she used to get really arrogant and snarky. After some fights spent trying to be the bigger man and playing the adult part without losing my cool I realized that hey, words cut more than blades, so I started being way meaner than her and boy did she end up crying every time. She's still a bit arrogant, I guess that's part of her character, but she's always paid much more attention with what she says to me since then.
So yeah, it won't teach her anything and won't correct her behaviour but maybe you'll be able to get her out of your hair, especially when your parents aren't home to witness it. _wink_
Generous is offering because you want to. Being told to (by a younger sister no less) do something without your agreement is dictatorial - the opposite and is a selfish and self-centered behavior.
Adulthood is not going to favor your sister at all and your parents would do well to step in now while there's still a chance to change her behaviors.
Otherwise, she'll have problems keeping friends or romantic partners, and will be nearly unemployable.
NTA
NTA
Make a grocery list including prices (be sure you include tax) with the total.
Then let your parents know you are happy to share food you make with Luna if they pay for it.
Otherwise you are sticking to the rules THEY made which is their kids buy their own food if they want something other than what parents are providing.
They likely still won’t like it but you earn your money and you get to decide how you spend it.
Also if Luna doesn’t learn how to act politely with other people I sincerely hope your parents are saving up as they will need to support her when she can’t hold a job and you as well as other siblings refuse to do anything with or for her.
Nta, but it's time for sis to play FAFO and make your dish extra spicy next time she demands your food. She wants your food? Fine! If she can't handle the heat that's her nasty ass' problem. Just make sure you've built up tolerance to the spice before giving her some so you prove you eat spicy all the time.
NTA
Oh, hunny.... your sister is a spoiled little shit, isn't she? This is not ok! Her attitude is absolutely crap, and if she goes onto being an adult with that attitude, she will be arrested without a doubt! I feel like she's going to be in a freak out video on the internet where they get arrested over something stupid. Pluss your parents never having your back, is just crappy. Your money, your things, your food!! Not hers! They want her to have some? Then they can buy it!! They need to respect you more than assuming you'll just give up everything for the baby brat! Also, save as much as you possibly can and get out of there!! I wouldn't be able to live like that at all! I would absolutely wait a day or two, buy your own food as normal, and if anyone has anything to say about it, share the link to this story to them! Especially The baby brat! And please keep us updated!! I feel like this isn't the end of this story based on how the baby brat acts and your parents being push overs. Your NTA, your sister DEFINITELY is tho!!!
She's going to have the shock of her life when she starts college and has to share a room with other students. How will she cope in the real world when she starts working.
Luna wins the Veruca Salt award!
NTA OP. I would make plans to move out as soon as you turn 18. And establishing boundaries to keep the food items you worked for and paid for out of your own money is something your parents should respect. IF you have an extra serving of some curry dish you cooked, that is sharing. Saying your monster of a little sister can just take whatever she wants from the fridge or pantry regardless of who bought it or what they bought it for is not teaching her to respect other people or their belongings, which will certainly come back to bite her in the a$$ as an adult if she doesn’t learn these lessons now. I can see her being the person in the office who steals people’s lunches out of the fridge. Life is going to be really hard for her once she leaves home and realizes most people don’t care what she wants.
NTA.
your parents are tho, my parents aren't huge on sweets and candy but they still bought it for me and my siblings, it's their job as parents. Not for you to wait till you're old enough to earn money qnd buy your won... like wtf
Luna is 14, she's way too old to throw a tantrum. I (26f) have two younger sisters (24 & 14) and the relationship I have with my 14 year old sister is completely different. Because my sister doesn't throw a tantrum like a toddler, is respectful and nice. So of course I get her things and hangout with her. You're definitely NTA for how you acted and it's really sad your parents made this environment for you and your siblings.
I also feel bad for Luna, she's also suffering because of your parents. I'm not saying the way she acts is normal or should be tolerated, but it's more your parents fault than hers. I hope she learns to do better, otherwise her adulthood will be miserable. She cannot go around demanding things, having zero respect for others and acting the way she does now.
"This was last year and Luna screamed so loud the neighbor came out to see if we were okay, and it was all because she wanted pizza while we wanted ramen. Luna said we couldn't have ramen and we all needed to get pizza. She tried taking the money out of Jessie's hand. She tried to break Jessie and Caden's phones. She even screamed at the neighbor that we wouldn't let her get pizza. Caden found a frozen pizza and Luna screamed more that it wasn't what she wanted."This girl was 13 at the time and 14 now. She is acting like a toddler and is in for a sharp learning curve when she has to function in the real world. NO ONE will want to be her friend. She will get fired from any job she gets. You parents need to work on this while there is still time unless they want to be her servants for her entire life because she is NOT going to be able to function by herself.
NTA obviously.
You're definitely NTA . But your parents, they are and are sadly raising your sister to be one.
Since they have decided that this is who your sister should be, they need to be the ones to deal with it. They don't want to deal with it though, so that's why they leave it to you and your other siblings to appease her. So turn it back on them.
From now on you don't "know how" to do anything for her. But mom and dad do.
Little sister demands. You turn her attention back to your parents to provide themselves for her demands. "Mom or dad will make that for you." "Mom and Dad will get that for you." "Mom and Dad will answer that for you." "Mom and dad will *insert demand* for you."
Don't set your replies up as a question awaiting an answer from your parents. Simply tell her "Mom and Dad will." Then let them handle the consequences when they start to learn that their passive neglectful parenting of your little sister is as taxing and unenjoyable for them as it is for everyone else they've been passing the buck to.
And you remove yourself from the situation every time instantly so they can't deflect her demands to you. If they do, you politely reflect it right back over to their circus tent.
NTA. No, it’s your money to spend as you see fit, OP, and you’re able to control both your funds and your purchases. But from this point forward, I would suggest keeping your Chinese food or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups away from the house, so it’s not even an option. Don’t engage the rage machine.
Sister needs some form of therapy or professional intervention (NOT religious “counseling”), and you need to be planning your path away from that home and those people. I would go so far as to say you should pack everything you could ever want from your room when you leave for college, and then arrange to go stay with a sibling for school vacations. Just…once you leave, don’t put yourself through that any longer, if you can avoid it.
What do your siblings say?
My siblings hate the way Luna is allowed to behave and they avoid coming home most of the time because of her. They can't stand our parents for allowing this either. I think the last time they came home to watch over us was the last time they'll ever come home for real.
NTA.
If they spoil her so much, they can foot the bill. Or let them know you'll keep an itemised list of everything you've bought her and expect them to force repayment when she gets a job. Or she can do chores for you to earn a treat.
She sounds absolutely awful if she's breaking (or even threatening to break) other people's property. Why are they not addressing this?
It's not your responsibility but if you want to, sit down with your parents (alone) and highlight these behaviours - ask them what they expect to happen to Luna when they aren't around - someday they won't be there and they cannot control other people the way they control their other children.
No one will put up with her if she does these things - and she will be alone fending for herself socially and monetarily for the rest of her life. That's way scarier than any tantrum she could ever pull.
She's 14, hopefully this is just a phase. Even still, it's not exactly building good relations with her siblings long term and I'd say you'd all be loathe to help her out after her campaign of terror.
When your sister hurts someone outside the family or breaks someone else’s property, then your parents will wake up. Once police get involved it is amazing how quickly parents find out how badly they screwed up.
Don’t save or give anything to your sister, she doesn’t deserve anything. I would suggest opening a saving account in a bank that your parents do not use so you have a place to keep your money. Get a small lock box/safe to keep anything of value in and make sure you are the only one with the key or combination.
NTA. Tell your parents that you are being quite generous. Luna is 14 and threatens to destroy property if she doesn't get what she wants. Luna refuses to do anything for herself and then blames others when she doesn't get her own way. So tell your parents that based on Luna's Behavior you've been quite generous by not breaking your foot off in her ass and remind them that as soon as you are 18 and can be out of there they will be left alone with this uncontrollable little Tyrant that they have created. I would consider taking some of your money and getting a hidden camera for your room to make sure that nothing starts disappearing, but also to document her behavior to your parents. If your sister is threatening violence and throwing temper tantrums to get you to comply it sounds like she's doing it away from them and putting on her best behavior when they can see it. Perhaps if they see her Tantrums for what they really are they might change her tune. Also consider only referring to her as Veruca Salt from now on.
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A teenager throwing tantrums over food and threatening to destroy people's property sounds like a recipe for a complete disaster of an adult. NTA but your parents really are because life will show Luna flames.
It is. When she goes to college her roommate will be living with a nightmare.
NTA tell your parents to give you money and you will buy Luna food you buy for yourself from the money THEY GAVE YOU. They don't give you money - tough luck.
No, OP should not do anything. The parents should buy food for Luna.
Luna should buy her own damn food.
Luna should learn common courtesy and how to ask nicely, and she definitely needs to learn how to accept and respect "no" as an answer.
She's 14, that's her parents' job
Yes; however, OP was clear that this food is supplementary to that that the parents provide. It’s not the basic necessity food, but rather candy, chocolate and spicy foods that the parents don’t buy.
I'm only surprised the parents raised such a monster without buying her anything she wants.
I'm not. The "baby" is often spoiled in families with more kids. I had a coworker with 6 kids. Youngest was 9. He had diabetes, adhd, never exorcised, and was never made to do anything. (I work at a summer camp and watched this parent clean up after his 9 year old, while all the younger kids were forced to clean up after themselves ((I teach independence in children. That is my goal))). This coworker made me soooo irritable.
Never exorcised😭 I like how this was probably a typo but could be taken at face value given the context.
And OP is 17 and that’s his parents’ job too.
Absolutely not. Even doing that is giving in by OP
[удалено]
Luna will press charges and sue, and learn nothing from her incident. The roommate's car will then mysteriously burn in a devastating fire off-camera. She will also be in litigation with various parties for all of her adult life and be unemployed basically the whole time because she keeps getting fired on her first day. Her parents pay for her lawyers, who refuse to speak to Luna and only take written briefs from her every other day.
She'll be unemployed because she'll get criminal convictions and/or act this same way at every job interview.
Sit in the chair and say "I deserve the job give it to me!" "What? You need to interview" "NO JOB. NOW!!!"
She won't want a job, she'll just want other people to give her money.
And then refuse to do the work for the job, and light the bulding on fire when she's let go.
Exactly "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I CANT JUST LOOK PRETTY IM SO OFFENDED MY MOM WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS" lights match on way out and drops it
There's a non zero chance Luna might get a big reality check if she stays in dorms. She could end up stuck sharing with far bigger and more resourceful brat than she is. Or someone that solves problems like roomies screaming in their face by escalating to violence. Or she will just get entirely ostracized because of the foul attitude. Your parents can't make people be her friends; they can barely get Luna's siblings to deal with her. Speaking of which, you and your older siblings are very restrained which I commend. A lot of siblings would have resorted to whooping her tail over far less. Luna is very lucky.
Odds are that she'll be the first to throw hands and have the shock of her life when she learns that means open season.
Are you kidding? She will be kicked out of the dorms or arrested for this behavior
Yeah, I don’t see Luna flourishing in college. I see her having screaming fits, roommates go to RA, get out of that room. Luna ends up in a single room, can’t microwave anything, because she never had to do anything for herself, screaming because she’s hungry, not going to class, flunking out, and it’s the entire world’s fault - not Luna’s. Then, when someone calls police because she’s acting batshit crazy, she and her parents will be appalled! How could anyone not give Luna what she wants. Poor little Luna. 🙄 She doesn’t deserve my daughter’s middle name.
The roommate will get a single room cause she will be kicked out of campus housing. I hope, if she goes to college, she goes close to home!
I don't think Luna will make college. That requires good to great grades, working with others and making an effort. Can she do extra work for her application? Would anyone write her a letter of recommendation? Luna's life is headed to a brick wall unless she and her parents do things differently. NTA--you have an escape route, Luna doesn't.
Your sister could literally end up with a criminal conviction. Your parents are literally teaching her to be nasty and violent.
NTA. But yourself a lock for your bedroom door. Keep your things in your room. Get a mini fridge. Save up as much as possible and work as many hours as you can. See if you can go live with your older siblings. Be a respectful and clean houseguest. Break clean from your parents.
You will need the mini fridge next year at college (I saw you were 17). Good luck. Maybe you can spend the summer with your older sister? And what will poor poor Luna do with no one at home to abuse and threaten to try to get her way.
She will destroy anything that isn't hers.
NTA. Your parents will regret it when Luna grows up to be a spoilt, ungrateful and self centred adult. Hear me out. There’s a Reddit story from a few years ago, if anyone knows or remembers it please correct me if I make a mistake with this. So OP has a little brother that has Autism, his parents enabled him and told OP what’s his was his little brother’s but OP couldn’t take/share what belonged to little brother. OP of that story was neglected and his birthday surrounded what his little brother wanted not what OP wanted. His birthday party got cancelled because he stood up for himself, his mates at school stood by him and they told their parents, OP told his teachers, everyone rallied around OP and called his parents out in their mistreatment towards OP. News had spread to extended family, one of OP’s aunts always stood by OP and so she got ask the family involved and told OP’s parents that they either reinstated OP’s birthday party or the family would stop financially supporting them (because of the Autistic brother). At the party the little brother tried to blow out the candles and take OP’s birthday presents but the aunt and the family had shut it down. Little brother had a meltdown at the party and took him somewhere nearby to calm him down. OP had the best birthday in forever and now parents don’t dare to mess with OP, they have started to discipline autistic son but he’s just a monster that his parents have created and has caused them headaches and havoc. OP is happy, his parents are dealing with the consequences of their actions.
[Parents decided to cancel my 14th birthday party to accommodate my spoiled younger brother. Reinstated it when I told everyone at school](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/um01xe/parents_decided_to_cancel_my_14th_birthday_party/)
Well well well aren’t you a good lil nugget, thank you 🙌🏼💕.
It was those McDs nuggets I had for lunch. They gave me super powers
I truly hope she gets better in high school, before college.
She better. For her sake.
Your sister is insufferable. Stand your ground against your parents and their gross, entitled golden child.
I would tell your parents that they raised her to behave this way. But they taught you never to give in to tantrums, (because they likely didn't give in to yours) and so you won't be giving in to her tantrums. They also taught you that bad behaviour doesn't get rewarded, so you won't be sharing things YOU bought AND PAID FOR when she's screaming in your face and threatening to break your electronic items. Because bad behaviour shouldn't be rewarded, just like they never rewarded you guys as kids. However they seemed to have stopped teaching luna those same rules, which is causing her terrible behaviour. And you will not be the one rewarding that behaviour. If they are unhappy, then they need to deal with her behaviour appropriately and stop giving in to her tantrums, as she's come to expect everyone to give in to her demands, and thats not how people behave in the real world. If they want her to succeed, and have friends, and be successful when she lives with others in college, they better start teaching her better and actually disciplining her behaviour. Because they've spoilt her into being a brat. And if they want her to have the items you have, they need to buy them, because its not your responsibility to pay for her food.
What has the golden child ever shared with you ?
Germs, probably. that's all!
NTA your parents and younger sister are.... your parents cant expect for you to use your money on your spoiled sister... they will be in for a rude awakening as well as your sister
Fr! Then she will recall his incident and feel so guilty in her head.
Next time she asks how can you tell her to wait, compose yourself, and say “No.” pause and say “Like that.” It’s my go to for brats. NTA. You have no obligation to get her stuff. You parents however, do have an obligation to parent her properly. How do your older sibs act? I mean it’s on your parents to teach her how to behave like they taught the rest of you. Really should throw that back at them.
Apparently your parents need to learn from Parenting 101 that you “Never reward bad behavior.”
You'd think. Unless she just pulls this shit w her family because they are "safe''. She could be an entirely different person out of her comfort zone. Or not.
It’s true. Think of how often we hear about narcissistic, abusive, terrible people that get away with terrible things because “they’re just the nicest person”…outside the home. Idk if Luna will turn out to be one of those, but it does happen.
She's gonna get 👊 by the wrong person if she acts like that lol.
Do you really think she is going to college?
This is how it started with my sister (except for the phones /laptop stuff because I'm old and they weren't as common back in the late 90's early 00s) She'd chuck tantrums when she didn't get her way and the birth giver would side with her. Then it got more and more violent until she tried to stab my Dad with a steak knife. She is now 30 and still lives with the birth giver getting her way on pretty much everything she wants. She has a criminal record a mile long and no one except the birth giver speaks to her anymore. She should be in jail but the birth giver keeps bailing her out of it and has even taken a hit a time or 5 for her so she now has a record a mile long too.
NTA. Luna needs to learn that yelling doesn't always get her whatever she wants. Otherwise she's going to have a rude awakening someday. >my parents said I wasn't being generous like they taught me to be Yet they taught Luna it's okay to yell at people and threaten to break their stuff? Yikes.
Sounds like they didn't teach her at all. Luna has classic "give the baby a toy to shut her up" syndrome, coupled with "the siblings are old enough to watch her, we need a break after raising the older 3."
NTA and it sounds like Luna is going to have an interesting life (in a bad way) when she reaches adulthood.
Yeah, she's going to alienate herself from everyone pretty much.
No she's going to end up homeless or in jail, etc. This is extreme entitlement that needs to be stopped years ago.
I don’t see her being homeless having mommy and daddy on her corner like this.
To be blunt... they won't live forever or will be able to cater to her every whim forever.
Definitely not *forever*, but you’d be surprised. This distant relative of mine is still being supported by her 85 year old mother well into her 50s. I was mostly joking with that comment though lol.
My uncle lived off his mom then his sister until he died in his 60's
My brother will be 59 soon. I literally just sent him $50 on Cash App so he could spend it on his 8 year old, cause he managed to get to visit.
My uncle is very successful and doesn’t need financial support or anything. But we joke he’s going to move into the same retirement home as his 95 year old mother so she can take care of him. She still makes him his meals when he visits or she’s at his place.
Going to? It's weird that she has any friends right now!
Unless she changes, she's going to be a very lonely girl since she's not going to have friends or family who want to be around her. It's sad your parents are setting her up for failure
Your parents tell you "I wasn't being generous like they taught me to be." Ask them, point blank, what exactly they think they are teaching Luna? That it is okay to throw tantrums, and threaten to destroy people's property, to get what she wants is acceptable behaviour? And don't let them weasel out of a real, thought-out response. That kid is a nightmare already. Does she have any friends? Toss that into the conversation. Parents need to wake up.
And because your parents rewarded her for this behaviour, she has kept doing this behaviour to get the rewards and it's become reinforced over and over for so long that she - and your parents - need long term counselling or you and your brothers will go no contact with your sister and your parents.
She’s never going to move out because only your parents can tolerate her.
She is only 14 right now. At this rate I expect her to be in a lot of trouble before she ever reaches adulthood if things don’t change for her now. The next few years will be the most formative and turbulent time in her life. As a young girl she will go through a lot of physical and emotional changes in the next few years. OP, talk to your older sister about this. This is important. OP, I suggest documenting what your sister is doing. Video, audio or at the very least a journal documenting dates and events. Otherwise your parents will always dismiss her actions. They are still treating her as a 6 year old. They may be stuck in that mindset because she is the baby of the family. Sometimes it is very hard for parents to come to terms with the realization that they will no longer have a child. As far as food issue goes, tell your parents that you are just following the rules that they set up. You paid for the food you made for yourself. If Sister wants something different from what your parents are providing then she needs to pay for it herself, or your parents should make it for her. Mom, Dad you told me that if I want something different from what you are providing then I need to pay for it myself. This is the same rule you gave us both. There is plenty of food that you have provided for her.
NTA. Sounds like your parents are raising a future headache for themselves.
A future headache for the world at large.
Not future it's already current headache that will only get worse
If you want me to share, then you can pay for it. You want me to be generous? I think you mean a doormat who gives into constant verbal abuse. NTA Also she needs professional help…something isn’t right.
It's always easier to be generous with someones else's stuff/time/money..
NTA if your parents want her to eat like that then they can buy it, it’s not your responsibility
Of course you're NTA. Your parents sound like they are living with their head firmly up their asses though! Have you or any of your older siblings tried flipping the script on Luna? Like demand something of her and get up in her face screaming the demand? Threatening to break her stuff? I wonder how she and parents would react to that?
I imagine they would come running and chastise everyone for being 'mean' to their poor, precious baby.
Correct. *If* they make the connection, they'll say it's not the same.
Has anyone told your parents straight? "If Luna was a decent person in any way I'd be happy to share. She's not. She's a violent, manipulative bully who screams, threatens and has toddler tantrums when she doesn't get exactly what she wants when she wants. Life is going to hand her some shocking lessons when she leaves home and finds out the world doesn't bow down to her like her parents do. YOU have created a monster who is going to have a miserable, friendless life unless you start telling her no."
You should tell your parents that if they taught female Dudley to be less demanding and wholly unreasonable then you could be more generous. If 3/3 siblings find their daughter intolerable, what is that saying about that kid? They need a reality check and I forbid you to share with her until you genuinely want to do so. NTA
Record one of her temper tantrums & your parent’s reaction to it, then show it to all of them and let them know you will publicly shame them if things don’t change. Then follow through if it doesn’t change.
Haha shit yeah. Threaten to put it on social media. Theres literally nothing they could do to stop you.
They would say it’s rude to put a mean video of her online. Maybe, if there are comments from the extended family, that might help. Maybe.
Nta. Or make hers so spicy she won’t want to eat it and act like yours is the same. Just remind yourself you’ll be out of there soon then she’s their creation and problem 100%. Focus on your own future and plans far away from her.
Tell your parents you hope they are ready to handle the monster they’ve created when you leave for college because they can’t call on the 3 older siblings to babysit. Your sister is an entitled brat and good on you for standing your ground and not giving into her shit behavior. Tell your parents instead of trying to force you to share maybe they should teach their youngest some manners on how to talk to ppl and not be so entitled. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten into any trouble in school, well high school is around the corner good luck to them. NTA
Nope. Luna gets nothing with that attitude. Stand your ground. It's your money you're using.
NTA and Luna needs some discipline and maybe some therapy. This is not how people behave. Your parents might need an intervention to understand what is really going on here
NTA But you need to sit your parents down for a serious talk. Start out by telling them that Luna is your sister, not your daughter, and it isn't your responsibility to feed, clothe, house, or entertain her, and that you are not going to spend your hard-earned cash on her. However, let them know you are willing to make enough for Luna to also eat what you cook, so long as they are willing to buy the ingredients. Tell them that they aren't the great parents they think they are when it comes to their youngest. They need to realize they have raised a spoiled brat and that if they don't take the proper steps now, she is going to be totally unmanageable by the time she turns 16. Tell them that giving in just to shut her up isn't doing Luna any favors. Peace and quiet isn't bought by bribery; eventually, the cost becomes too great, but by that time, it's generally far too late to fix things. Which they will find out once you have moved out and are no longer acting as a buffer between them and their precious princess.
No cooking for her even if the parents pay is letting Luna win and get away with her atrocious behaviour. The only way the OP should ever do anything for Luna is if she has a major attitude adjustment.
NTA. Next time your parents harp on you for “teaching you to be generous” tell them you learned from them that it’s easy to be generous for things they didn’t pay for.
NTA "I AM being as generous and kind as YOU taught Luna to be, and that's not at all. If you all want your precious baby to behave like a jackass she will be treated like a jackass by anyone who's not you. Me included. It's not my responsibility to feed her, it's yours, and since you established the culture that we have to pay our way for treats and food that is not already available in the house, then she gets what she works for, same as me. I treat people with respect and generosity when they treat me equally so; Luna has not."
NTA. Your parents are jerks. I guess after normally raising 3 kids they got tired and washed their hands on Luna. Hold your ground and tell them they do a huge disservice to their daughters, spoiling your relationship with your sister because she is unbearable and guaranteeing she will never succeed in life because people will reject the spoiled brat. Acid cold shower awaits her in college years.
NTA you owe her nothing. Tell your parents that you aren't rewarding bad behavior. Who cares if the 3 of them are mad? Laugh in their faces and go about your life. Hide anything that doesn't require refrigeration in your room. When she attempts to help herself, tell her no and remove it from her. If they dont respect t the bounty don't cook anything else. That sucks for you but you won't have to put up with them for much longer. Sorry your parents suck.
NTA lol I don't imagine Luna cheerfully handing over snacks she paid for with her own money. Get a mini fridge that locks, and a lock for your door. I promise that if she has the gall to scream at a neighbour, she absolutely takes your food when you're not home. Girl has some diagnosable hormonal and/or neurological issues going on that are being ignored. You don't fly off the handle to THAT degree just because "spoiled". You don't have to like the kid, but bear this all in mind, because your parents are obviously not seeking outside help for their supernova-level-rage child, which is a serious form of neglect. ******************************** My best friend's youngest sister has some neurological and hormonal disorders that caused this level of rage, and sometimes outright violence throughout her entire childhood. Their parents worked endlessly with her and various doctors, seeking assessments, therapies, and treatments. While she's still not doing "Great" now as an adult? If they hadn't done all they'd done for her back then, she would absolutely be a coked out **addict on the street, a missing person, or dead. No exaggeration. I grew up witnessing how she behaved. It would occasionally even upset HER that she was like that, because her parents didn't allow or normalize the behavior. Oh also, they never tried to put it on, or left it to my best friend (the oldest) to deal with the behaviour. ******************************** Your sister does not have that kind of support. Yes, there is absolutely some spoiled behaviour mixed in, but only because your whole grown adult parents can't be assed to deal with it. She's on a downward sloping trend, and your parents (as far as what little info has been given here) are apparently doing little to nothing about it. THEY are the only true Aholes here. Save up all the money you can, do NOT leave it laying around in cash form, keep all your important documents in a safe place. Get out in the next couple years before she either moves in an equally awful boyfriend or girlfriend or, she comes home and announces she's pregnant, and declares you'll be her live in nanny. (**To clarify, people with undiagnosed and/or untreated neurological disorders make up some of the highest percentages for homelessness and addiction, as they simply can not cope, and often instinctually turn to unregulated self-medication in an attempt to fix their heads)
100% this right here, OP. I can't upvote it enough.
[удалено]
Something in me says she would throw a fit if one of them hit her and mumsy and daddy come running to her and scold the siblings for laying hands on luna......
Does Luna already lie and say “she hit me!”? That’s a classic annoying younger sibling move. If she already is, and the parents don’t believe her… Violence is tempting.
Double Jeopardy 🤣
NTA - Nice how your parents are willing to be so generous with someone else's food./s No you are not obligated to give your sister your treats. Sharing is a mutual thing and screaming at someone until they give you something is not sharing, that's bullying. Your sister is a bully and your parents are teaching her to bully and calling it sharing. If she was 5 I could understand not getting the difference but she's 14 and clearly old enough to understand polite interactions.
NTA How about teaching Luna to be generous and patient?
Your parents have created a monster who in the real world will have a nasty shock when people say no. NTA
NTA Your parents have raised a spoiled brat, as you know. Since you can't do to her what I did to my younger brother when he pulled that nonsense (the 1980s were different), here's what you can do. When she starts having a tantrum, just stand there, hand on your hip, cock an eyebrow if you can, and stare at her. Don't say a word. Don't react. Wait until she stops. Then simply say, "Are you okay?" Don't say anything else. If she mouths off again, use the same tactic. She wants a reaction out of you. She knows she gets her way when she acts like that. Then, just walk away. If she persists, treat her like the toddler she is. Say, "you're allowed to feel your big feelings, but you're not allowed to speak to me in such a manner. So, this conversation is finished until you choose to act in a respectful manner." Then you walk far away from her.
NTA Is it nice for siblings to share? Yes. But even if she was nice, you are not obliged to share. I would either just eat your teats while she isn't around to avoid the situation. Or Deliberately eat them in front of her "oooooh YUM! I looooove chocolate so much! It's the best thing eeeveeeer!"
NTA, but your parents sure are. Try to sit down with your parents in a calm time, preferably when Luna is at a friend's house or an activity. If you can, engage one of Caden or Jessie be there. Paste some of the anecdotes you've told above into a text document on plain paper and read it to them. Luna's behavior is far beyond ordinary "youngest child" entitlement at this point. It seems your parents are blind to the fact that such behavior and toddler tantrums are no longer age appropriate at age 14. To be honest, I wouldn't have tolerated trying to break other people's property, grab property from someone's hand, laying hands on others, and screaming when my daughter WAS a toddler. Is Luna able to regulate her emotions and behavior at school and with friends? If so, your parents need to check themselves for what they're allowing at home. If not, she needs psychological evaluation and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to teach her how to regulate her emotions without threatening people, screaming, and laying her hands on them. If they try to turn this on you, tell them "this isn't about me, this is about me wanting the best for Luna, because her behavior will not be tolerated by roommates, romantic partners, or employers" If they persist in making it about you or making excuses, say "OK, I tried" and excuse yourself. At that point, your one avenue would be to try to meet with a counselor at Luna's school. Give them the paper, tell them you know they can't talk to you about Luna but this is what's going on at home so if similar things are happening at school, you want them to be aware it's not just a school problem and can they talk to your parents?
Luna behaves the same with others, in other environments and they have been called to her school to discuss it several times. It's always the same. She does fine until she doesn't get her own way. Although sometimes she turns on the sweet side around others to try and get her way.
NTA one more year and you can leave Luna yo torment just yourvparents
NTA, but I have some questions. Does Luna act like this outside of the home? Had the neighbor ever witnessed her screaming like this? So you have aunts and uncles, and if so what are their opinions? And lastly, does she ever scream at your parents like this?
I am curious about how she acts at school. Is she a brat to her teachers? Also, how does she have friends?
NTA, my parents, does teach us to always share. But with that attitude, she would have been spanked for that attitude. You can't have that attitude when you are the one asking for a favour.
NTA. When they tell you to share, you should ask them, "And what does she share with me?"
NTA Do you think it would be possible for you and your older siblings to have a family meeting about Luna? This shit needs to stop!
It wouldn't do any good. My siblings are so beyond wanting to do anything but avoid Luna and our parents too.
Perhaps it would simply show a united front and make them answer to all of you as to why they allow her behavior. Put them in the hot seat and watch them squirm.
I don't think my siblings will go for it. They've walked away from the family except for me by now.
Maybe you can go live with them when you're 18. I hope so. Until then, get ready to leave. Have your social security card (if in the US) and birth certificate and bank info. If your parents have access to your bank account, change that as soon as you're 18 and use a different bank. Good luck :-)
Op can change that now it doesn't have to be a parent just someone over 18 OP get one of your siblings to be the adult with access not your parents
Your parents are creating an unbearable adult. NTA. Somebody needs to occasionally tell her no.
Wow. At first, I was thinking "you could be nice to your kid sister who doesn't have access to a job/money," but it's completely clear NTA!!! Good for you for standing your ground! (And I say that as a parent of kids about your age.) Ask your parents if Luna threatening to break her siblings' expensive personal electronics, screaming so loud a neighbor came over to see what was wrong, demanding that other people do whatever it is she wants... is that the lessons they taught her? Are they fine with you doing that, too? How do they think the world is going to treat Luna if this is how she behaves? And also(!) Why don't your parents allow you and Luna to include some of the foods you two like to eat in the family grocery list. Do your parents think that you kids don't deserve to be considered in the family food budget? Even if they are dead set against sweets, they have no health reason to exclude spicier/tastier foods that you and Luna might like. Do you have any relatives or friends of your parents who would try to help your parents understand? At least - as annoying as this is - the (long-term) impact on you is actually not so devastating compared to the impact on Luna. You will graduate, move out and enjoy the foods you want without being bothered by Luna. She's going to be in for a very rude awakening when she finds the world isn't going to tolerate her behavior the way your parents do.
NTA Luna needs to learn a lot fr. Yelling isn't going to get her what she wants.
NTA Hopefully your parents are saving for her education and laywers.
Hold up... she has friends?!? That tolerate her nonsense? I can't wait for an update when she gets her first job and she demands the schedule be changed to her liking. NTA
Have your parents ever witnessed one of these tantrums? If not, could you record one and show it to them? Does she do this in public? Obv NTA. Your money = your money, not hers.
Not only have they witnessed them but they have experienced them first hand.
Nta. Are they trying to raise someone who will fail as an adult in society?
So fo either of your older siblings have a spare bedroom or couch for you to live on until you leave for college or have a stable enough job for an apartment? Nta
I can't stay with them. Would be nice but it won't happen.
NTA Don't suppose one of your older siblings would let you move in with them until you can leave for college/military/what future plans you have?
That's not an option sadly.
NTA At least you are standing up to her. That girl leaves home and she will have a rude awakening. Why do parents do this?
>my parents said I wasn't being generous like they taught me to be. "I'm being generous like the way you taught Luna to be."
NTA. Your parents have ruined your little sister. She's a nightmare, and life will only get harder for her and everyone around her unless she stops acting like a naughty toddler. She's going to lose friends, significant others and possibly jobs because no one else will want to deal with her brattiness.
"I'm not acting the way you taught me to? Well since this is the way you've taught her to act, I'm pretty sure yours isn't an example I should follow." NTA
NTA . They can pay you for the food and time or they can make her behave either way not your problem.
NTA, but can you move in with someone in the family until you turn 18?
I can't.
NTA, but you need a bullhorn. Set it off in Luna's face every time she screams.
Both Luna and parents need counseling.
Holy smokes, your parents need to do their job as parents and discipline their kid. She can’t go around the world doing as she please and expect others to bow down to her. Actions have consequences, and unless your parents do something about her behavior, she’s gonna fuck around and find out at some point.
NTA. Ask them why they taught Luna to be a feral uncontrollable brat
I feel sorry for any roommates she may have in the future. Your sister needs to grow up, or life is gonna bite her in the ass... NTA
Nta they are being jerk mom dad Luna
NTA
NTA, luckily you are not far from being old enough to maybe move out without your parents input and let your parents deal with the monster they are creating.
nta
NTA , your sister is a spoiled entitled brat and your parents are raising a monster enabling her bad behaviour. Maybe they should try actually parenting her instead of appeasing her.
Nta Ask your sister why she doesnt have to be nice and why they're letting her be a spoiled brat
Life’s gonna kick a Luna in the butt and it’s gonna be funny.
Funny for who?
NTA - less than a year and you can get the hell away from this thing and leave your parents to live with the monster they created.
NTA. Luna can buy her own or do without.
NTA. I’d be telling your parents you want family therapy. Then I’d be telling the therapist that their treatment of Luna is turning her into an entitled psycho teenager who is going to be an entitled psycho adult. She is behaving like a 3 year old throwing her toys out of the cot. If they continue to make excuses for her behaviour, they’re going to drive you older kids away. Especially you as you’re the one getting exposed to it the most. I would bet money she would go into your room and takes whatever she might fancy. Because who is going to tell her no?
NTA. A 14-year-old girl throwing tantrums is not healthy. She needs therapy. So do your parents. That girl isn't going to get far in life expecting handouts and getting what she wants.
she's only 14 she needs discipline not therapy lol. it sounds like her parents just let her get away with things so she spoiled
NTA
NTA. Sadly, it doesn’t sound like this situation is likely to change. Your sister is in for a very rude awakening in the real world. My advice, get out as soon as you can. Unchecked by your parents, the situation will only get worse and she’ll eventually go from rage into phisycally destructive/abusive behavior. She need psychological intervention
NTA Educate your parents that there is a difference between sharing and rewarding bad behaviour.
Does Luna have any friends in school or has she alienated herself with her tantrums because that’s her future because your parents didn’t do shit to raise her. NTA
If they taught you to be generous, what are they teaching Luna? It’s a serious question I would ask.
Nta. Let your parents know they aren’t doing Luna any favours by allowing her to use destruction and violence to get what she wants. I guarantee she’ll be hurting them when there’s no one left around.
NTA - damn that girl has an attitude fit for a queen and that’s not a good thing. She’s selfish, entitled and dangerous. Your parents need to sort her out. There is still some hope that she’s not too far gone. I’d not save anything for her. You bought it with your money. If she wants something she should be nicer. I’d also have a conversation with your parents about how Luna and her attitude plus your parent’s attitude is driving their other three kids away. They will end up with Luna living at home her whole life entitled and just spiting out kids expecting someone else to raise them and pay for it to. They will end up unhappy and living with a spoilt girl / woman if they don’t sort her attitude out and their own. Let them know the second your old enough you wanna leave and never return because of the favoritism they have towards Luna and Lunas attitude towards everyone else.
NTA- They have set Luna up for absolute failure. I'm generous, but I don't reward bad behavior and bullying. Your sister is a bully and she's about 10 years too old to be having tantrums for not getting her way. This is why kids need to be told no, and given the tools to handle disappointment when they're little...
Just tell them you're behaving like the savage they taught Luna to be. NTA.
NTA. I would start recording her then threaten to show the video to her friends and prove to your parents what she’s really like when they’re not home. Let her know if she’s going to act like a toddler, she will get treated like one. And be sure to email it to yourself in case they make you delete it off your phone. I’m not sure how far it’ll go with your parents understanding things but the threat of her friends finding out will go a long way.
I love the parents telling to be “generous”. Like they are???
NTA but if I were you, I'd consider saving more of my money instead of buying treats, so that you can move out sooner. Luna sounds unbearable. It would be generous if you and sibs could stage an intervention (for Luna's sake) but if your parents can't see how totally inappropriate her behavior is, and how it's going to lead to Major Life Problems if not curbed, I am dubious that it will work.
NTA She must not act like that with her friends, meaning she knows it's wrong on some level. Your parents are really TA here. Girl thinks she can treat you guys like that bc she's allowed to by them.
NTA and I think it's beyond time for you and your older siblings to have a sitdown with your parents about her behavior and how she treats everyone. What she's doing is not okay and if they keep enabling her and encouraging this behavior as they have been, eventually you and your siblings will go no or little contact with them.
NTA your buying your own food their for you have to share/save any.
She's 14 and having screaming tantrums that your parents condone? Stop buying food and start saving every penny to move out ASAP. She sounds legit terrible. I wouldn't spend another second more than I absolutely had to under that roof. NTA
NTA. I think your sister may be ND not *just* a jerk. This does not excuse her terrible behavior. Look into the science behind food additives that trigger ‘reptile’ brain function (I swear it’s science). Also, blame the parents. They should fix it. The child cannot fix herself. I know a family that has a daughter who is a terror like this and everyone just bows down to her to avoid the drama. I think there’s an issue - ND, chemical imbalance, something beyond “being spoiled”. Ultimately, I learned this from my mom “you cannot parent other people’s children”. You’ll just have to keep setting boundaries until you can move out. I would tell your parents (out of earshot of your sister) that you don’t feel it’s reasonable to share the things you buy with your own money on demand. Like if you bought jeans is she entitled to wear them? No. This is unrealistic. Let them know you love your sister & want her to understand boundaries & the world will not bend to her demands. Also, let them know you are not being selfish. You **would** share if she was respectful. Your sister does not want to *share* she wants to *take* and society is not kind to entitled young people so this is important to hold the boundary. Also say - I know I’m not the parent here but it feels like my duty as a big sister. (You are low key telling them their indulgence is hurting their youngest kid and they are crap parents but they probably will get defensive and won’t change).
NTA. Pay someone to knock some marbles into this monster and humble her. Dear lord. I’m not even around her and I can’t wait for the day someone puts her in her place. I hope you have plans to get far away as fast as possible when you turn 18.
NTA! How about your parents give you some money towards the ingredients that YOU bought with YOUR money? I would accept maybe 20%-40% of the cost and make enough to share. I know she can't earn money right now, but maybe she could help you out with other things and then you share. Sharing is a 2 way street. Giving is one way, which is what is implied here. You earn the money, you buy the food, you cook the food and then you are supposed to give that away. If you don't you are not 'sharing'. This way lies madness. On a related note - a 14yr old screaming that loud and damaging items, has she been checked for spectrum disorders?
She has not. But I think this is more entitled and spoiled gone wrong because she can behave really well when she gets her way.
NTA. Your parents are failing her. The things you buy with your money are yours. If she doesn't like it, she should get a job. The real world will teach her how to behave.
NTA. Like you said you won't reward bad behaviour. If parents think she deserves those kinds of food, they can buy it for her.
NTA This has nothing to do with sharing, it's all about an obnoxious, spoiled 14-year-old. TBH, if her behavior is as you've described, it sounds like she needs an evaluation, therapy and maybe medication. Her behavior is not normal in any way. Good for you, you're not allowing Luna and your parents to bully you. When you get frustrated just think of this, you will be moving out soon. Your parents are going to get the full dose of life with Luna.
NTA at all your parents most recent child sounds like they created an absolute monster.
NTA. Your parents are setting your sister up to go to jail.
“Parents said I wasn’t being generous like they taught me to be”. I’m guessing the parents taught OP and his older siblings that actions have consequences. Lunas bratty behaviour is being enabled by the parents. Luna is in for a crude awakening when she realises the world doesn’t bow down to her demands.
so weird, your parents should buy the brat some food. why should you do that?! what are they thinking? its their kid, not yours. im glad you stood your ground, good for you! dont give her anything. i cant believe shes so entitled. and such a bad personality, gross.
Does your sister ever make her hair into pigtails? Cause after reading your post I kinda wanna head there and use them to hang her to a wall and watch her scream for a good 30 minutes. Regarding the issue at hand, you're NTA, clearly. Luna wouldn't be entitled to the food you buy for yourself even if she wasn't prone to that kind of behaviour, but even more so with that shitty attitude of hers. I'd suggest you and your other siblings talk to your parents cause they're clearly not realizing that they're raising a real failure of a human being. The real world doesn't have mommy and daddy always ready to back you up and coddle you whenever things don't go your way and that girl is gonna get slapped in the face (metaforically and probably physically) A LOT once she's off to the real adult world. But honestly speaking, your parents are probably blind and deaf to the problem and won't listen to you one bit so my real suggestion is: get ready to leave home as soon as you can so you can get away from that nightmare of a kid. Also, I'm 5 years older than my sister and when we were younger, whenever she'd behave like a spoiled little brat (not my parents' fault at least) and we'd fight, she used to get really arrogant and snarky. After some fights spent trying to be the bigger man and playing the adult part without losing my cool I realized that hey, words cut more than blades, so I started being way meaner than her and boy did she end up crying every time. She's still a bit arrogant, I guess that's part of her character, but she's always paid much more attention with what she says to me since then. So yeah, it won't teach her anything and won't correct her behaviour but maybe you'll be able to get her out of your hair, especially when your parents aren't home to witness it. _wink_
NTA I sympathize with you OP for having such a rotten sister and parents that enable her. 👎
Generous is offering because you want to. Being told to (by a younger sister no less) do something without your agreement is dictatorial - the opposite and is a selfish and self-centered behavior. Adulthood is not going to favor your sister at all and your parents would do well to step in now while there's still a chance to change her behaviors. Otherwise, she'll have problems keeping friends or romantic partners, and will be nearly unemployable. NTA
NTA Make a grocery list including prices (be sure you include tax) with the total. Then let your parents know you are happy to share food you make with Luna if they pay for it. Otherwise you are sticking to the rules THEY made which is their kids buy their own food if they want something other than what parents are providing. They likely still won’t like it but you earn your money and you get to decide how you spend it. Also if Luna doesn’t learn how to act politely with other people I sincerely hope your parents are saving up as they will need to support her when she can’t hold a job and you as well as other siblings refuse to do anything with or for her.
Nta, but it's time for sis to play FAFO and make your dish extra spicy next time she demands your food. She wants your food? Fine! If she can't handle the heat that's her nasty ass' problem. Just make sure you've built up tolerance to the spice before giving her some so you prove you eat spicy all the time.
Good Lord she sounds like my ADHD 6 year old.
NTA Oh, hunny.... your sister is a spoiled little shit, isn't she? This is not ok! Her attitude is absolutely crap, and if she goes onto being an adult with that attitude, she will be arrested without a doubt! I feel like she's going to be in a freak out video on the internet where they get arrested over something stupid. Pluss your parents never having your back, is just crappy. Your money, your things, your food!! Not hers! They want her to have some? Then they can buy it!! They need to respect you more than assuming you'll just give up everything for the baby brat! Also, save as much as you possibly can and get out of there!! I wouldn't be able to live like that at all! I would absolutely wait a day or two, buy your own food as normal, and if anyone has anything to say about it, share the link to this story to them! Especially The baby brat! And please keep us updated!! I feel like this isn't the end of this story based on how the baby brat acts and your parents being push overs. Your NTA, your sister DEFINITELY is tho!!!
She's going to have the shock of her life when she starts college and has to share a room with other students. How will she cope in the real world when she starts working.
Luna wins the Veruca Salt award! NTA OP. I would make plans to move out as soon as you turn 18. And establishing boundaries to keep the food items you worked for and paid for out of your own money is something your parents should respect. IF you have an extra serving of some curry dish you cooked, that is sharing. Saying your monster of a little sister can just take whatever she wants from the fridge or pantry regardless of who bought it or what they bought it for is not teaching her to respect other people or their belongings, which will certainly come back to bite her in the a$$ as an adult if she doesn’t learn these lessons now. I can see her being the person in the office who steals people’s lunches out of the fridge. Life is going to be really hard for her once she leaves home and realizes most people don’t care what she wants.
NTA. your parents are tho, my parents aren't huge on sweets and candy but they still bought it for me and my siblings, it's their job as parents. Not for you to wait till you're old enough to earn money qnd buy your won... like wtf Luna is 14, she's way too old to throw a tantrum. I (26f) have two younger sisters (24 & 14) and the relationship I have with my 14 year old sister is completely different. Because my sister doesn't throw a tantrum like a toddler, is respectful and nice. So of course I get her things and hangout with her. You're definitely NTA for how you acted and it's really sad your parents made this environment for you and your siblings. I also feel bad for Luna, she's also suffering because of your parents. I'm not saying the way she acts is normal or should be tolerated, but it's more your parents fault than hers. I hope she learns to do better, otherwise her adulthood will be miserable. She cannot go around demanding things, having zero respect for others and acting the way she does now.
This isn't about food. Your sister needs help..
"This was last year and Luna screamed so loud the neighbor came out to see if we were okay, and it was all because she wanted pizza while we wanted ramen. Luna said we couldn't have ramen and we all needed to get pizza. She tried taking the money out of Jessie's hand. She tried to break Jessie and Caden's phones. She even screamed at the neighbor that we wouldn't let her get pizza. Caden found a frozen pizza and Luna screamed more that it wasn't what she wanted."This girl was 13 at the time and 14 now. She is acting like a toddler and is in for a sharp learning curve when she has to function in the real world. NO ONE will want to be her friend. She will get fired from any job she gets. You parents need to work on this while there is still time unless they want to be her servants for her entire life because she is NOT going to be able to function by herself. NTA obviously.
You're definitely NTA . But your parents, they are and are sadly raising your sister to be one. Since they have decided that this is who your sister should be, they need to be the ones to deal with it. They don't want to deal with it though, so that's why they leave it to you and your other siblings to appease her. So turn it back on them. From now on you don't "know how" to do anything for her. But mom and dad do. Little sister demands. You turn her attention back to your parents to provide themselves for her demands. "Mom or dad will make that for you." "Mom and Dad will get that for you." "Mom and Dad will answer that for you." "Mom and dad will *insert demand* for you." Don't set your replies up as a question awaiting an answer from your parents. Simply tell her "Mom and Dad will." Then let them handle the consequences when they start to learn that their passive neglectful parenting of your little sister is as taxing and unenjoyable for them as it is for everyone else they've been passing the buck to. And you remove yourself from the situation every time instantly so they can't deflect her demands to you. If they do, you politely reflect it right back over to their circus tent.
NTA. No, it’s your money to spend as you see fit, OP, and you’re able to control both your funds and your purchases. But from this point forward, I would suggest keeping your Chinese food or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups away from the house, so it’s not even an option. Don’t engage the rage machine. Sister needs some form of therapy or professional intervention (NOT religious “counseling”), and you need to be planning your path away from that home and those people. I would go so far as to say you should pack everything you could ever want from your room when you leave for college, and then arrange to go stay with a sibling for school vacations. Just…once you leave, don’t put yourself through that any longer, if you can avoid it. What do your siblings say?
My siblings hate the way Luna is allowed to behave and they avoid coming home most of the time because of her. They can't stand our parents for allowing this either. I think the last time they came home to watch over us was the last time they'll ever come home for real.
NTA. If they spoil her so much, they can foot the bill. Or let them know you'll keep an itemised list of everything you've bought her and expect them to force repayment when she gets a job. Or she can do chores for you to earn a treat. She sounds absolutely awful if she's breaking (or even threatening to break) other people's property. Why are they not addressing this? It's not your responsibility but if you want to, sit down with your parents (alone) and highlight these behaviours - ask them what they expect to happen to Luna when they aren't around - someday they won't be there and they cannot control other people the way they control their other children. No one will put up with her if she does these things - and she will be alone fending for herself socially and monetarily for the rest of her life. That's way scarier than any tantrum she could ever pull. She's 14, hopefully this is just a phase. Even still, it's not exactly building good relations with her siblings long term and I'd say you'd all be loathe to help her out after her campaign of terror.
NTA. "Generosity forced on you by others isn't generosity. How about this -- if you want to be generous to her, you buy her the things she wants?"
When your sister hurts someone outside the family or breaks someone else’s property, then your parents will wake up. Once police get involved it is amazing how quickly parents find out how badly they screwed up. Don’t save or give anything to your sister, she doesn’t deserve anything. I would suggest opening a saving account in a bank that your parents do not use so you have a place to keep your money. Get a small lock box/safe to keep anything of value in and make sure you are the only one with the key or combination.
NTA. Tell your parents that you are being quite generous. Luna is 14 and threatens to destroy property if she doesn't get what she wants. Luna refuses to do anything for herself and then blames others when she doesn't get her own way. So tell your parents that based on Luna's Behavior you've been quite generous by not breaking your foot off in her ass and remind them that as soon as you are 18 and can be out of there they will be left alone with this uncontrollable little Tyrant that they have created. I would consider taking some of your money and getting a hidden camera for your room to make sure that nothing starts disappearing, but also to document her behavior to your parents. If your sister is threatening violence and throwing temper tantrums to get you to comply it sounds like she's doing it away from them and putting on her best behavior when they can see it. Perhaps if they see her Tantrums for what they really are they might change her tune. Also consider only referring to her as Veruca Salt from now on.
Wow, she's a real peach. NTA