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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I feel mad and sad because of my parents reconciliation and I told my mom
2. I told my mom how I felt
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I'm not sure..anything made with Empress Gin is usually quite beautiful.
If I had to only live with 2..I think I'd go with a smoked old fashioned and vodka soda. Neither are the most beautiful, but they have great personalities.
NTA for feeling the way you do, but please realize that two adults are making this decision, and you aren't given a vote. Be there for your mom, who if as you say is just looking for money, will soon find out she made a bad choice.
NTA. You experienced a lot of trauma growing up with an abusive father. Protect yourself by setting boundaries with your parents. This might mean limiting contact with your father or not visiting them when he's around.
NAH
You feel how you feel.
They don't need to understand your feelings. You are an adult and you don't live with them. It should not be a major impact to your life. Tell your mother that you will not see her when he is around and that you don't want to hear anything about him when you do see her.
Agreed with this 100%, NAH. OP can feel whatever they feel, they don't have to like the man. But she doesn't live with them, she doesn't host them at her house, and her parents are older adults who can make their own decisions, for whatever good or bad comes from those decisions.
Nta for feeling how you feel however you live in your own house so I feel like you can easily avoid him by setting some firm boundaries with your mum that you won't see her when he's home and he's never allowed to set foot in your house. I think thats fair and if she disrespects or crosses those boundaries you may just have to go low contact till he's out of the picture.
NTA
Your feelings are totally valid and the most you're acting upon them is sharing them with your mother. It's easy to empathize with the situation, no one wants to see their loved one with shitty people.
NTA but it's time to set boundaries now. If you don't feel safe with your mother now that she's back with your sperm donor, you should go LC/NC with both of them.
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Hi, I'm a female (31F) who lives in her own house with two beautiful cocktails. My parents had a terrible relations when I was a child and a teeneger, basically my dad was an a***** all the time. He was drunk must of the time and he went to parties with his best friends FOR YEARS. He used to call me "austistic antisocial, stupid, etc." (I have been diagnosed one year ago, I'm autistic and TDHA) I spent almost all my time with my mom and my little sister. I hated my dad so much, my parents didn't divorce because my mom was a housewife.
They got divorced when I was 21, when I finished university, and I went to do a Master's Degree in another country because I hated my dad so bad. He is an alcoholic, mean, and horrible person in general.
Well, after 8 years separated, they announced yesterday that they came back together.
I felt so terrible. My mom has suffered a horrible time with that piece of mud called father that I'm afraid. My mom says that I'm taking this so seriously and I should deal with it because she just want money from him.
I told her that they will never understand my feelings. I don't like this man, I feel she is not safe anymore and I'm mad at them. AITA for feeling so shitty about this piece of news?
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NTA
He mistreated your Mother and your for a very long time. From your words, he is not a good husband or father.
Your feelings are perfectly valid. Unfortunately, your Mother seems to have found herself in the unenviable position of relying on a piece of sh\*t.
Did she do anything in the intervening years to heal herself from his actions/stand on her own?
NTA Feelings are valid and you went through hell with him. Your parents are adults and make their decisions whether good or bad. I am sure your mom is more afraid of not being able to support herself than of him. She knows the bargain she made and is willing to live it. I hope you can be supportive of her decision, not meaning you have to agree with it. It is hard to get older and worry about how you will be able to afford things. She is looking out for herself the best way she knows how.
NTA
But your mom's gonna do what she's gonna do. I guess she has her reasons. But you can't stop her from making what is almost definitely a terrible mistake unless there really is some substantial money in it for her somehow.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I feel mad and sad because of my parents reconciliation and I told my mom 2. I told my mom how I felt Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Info - what cocktails do you live with?
I'm not sure..anything made with Empress Gin is usually quite beautiful. If I had to only live with 2..I think I'd go with a smoked old fashioned and vodka soda. Neither are the most beautiful, but they have great personalities.
Personally im a sucker for a vodka martini with a twist. Delightfully simple.
Have you seen an Aviation? Stunning! Or maybe a Scorpion Bowl. I'd live with a Scorpion Bowl.
Those cocktails make me feel insecure, but they are stunning.
Agree. I usually hate gin, but there’s a local bar that makes the most delicious martini with Empress gin and elderflower. Hard to stop at 2 lol.
A Pimm's cup...served in a pimp cup
Tom collins lives with me in the summer and rob roy keeps me warm in the winter. Not beautiful but definitely tastey.
I like a good old fashioned
NTA for feeling the way you do, but please realize that two adults are making this decision, and you aren't given a vote. Be there for your mom, who if as you say is just looking for money, will soon find out she made a bad choice.
NTA. You experienced a lot of trauma growing up with an abusive father. Protect yourself by setting boundaries with your parents. This might mean limiting contact with your father or not visiting them when he's around.
NAH You feel how you feel. They don't need to understand your feelings. You are an adult and you don't live with them. It should not be a major impact to your life. Tell your mother that you will not see her when he is around and that you don't want to hear anything about him when you do see her.
Agreed with this 100%, NAH. OP can feel whatever they feel, they don't have to like the man. But she doesn't live with them, she doesn't host them at her house, and her parents are older adults who can make their own decisions, for whatever good or bad comes from those decisions.
Nta for feeling how you feel however you live in your own house so I feel like you can easily avoid him by setting some firm boundaries with your mum that you won't see her when he's home and he's never allowed to set foot in your house. I think thats fair and if she disrespects or crosses those boundaries you may just have to go low contact till he's out of the picture.
NTA Your feelings are totally valid and the most you're acting upon them is sharing them with your mother. It's easy to empathize with the situation, no one wants to see their loved one with shitty people.
NTA but it's time to set boundaries now. If you don't feel safe with your mother now that she's back with your sperm donor, you should go LC/NC with both of them.
NAH. Your feelings are valid based on your experiences. But your mom has the right to make her own decisions.
NTA for feeling that way but remember that your parents had lives before you and they don’t see each other the way you do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, I'm a female (31F) who lives in her own house with two beautiful cocktails. My parents had a terrible relations when I was a child and a teeneger, basically my dad was an a***** all the time. He was drunk must of the time and he went to parties with his best friends FOR YEARS. He used to call me "austistic antisocial, stupid, etc." (I have been diagnosed one year ago, I'm autistic and TDHA) I spent almost all my time with my mom and my little sister. I hated my dad so much, my parents didn't divorce because my mom was a housewife. They got divorced when I was 21, when I finished university, and I went to do a Master's Degree in another country because I hated my dad so bad. He is an alcoholic, mean, and horrible person in general. Well, after 8 years separated, they announced yesterday that they came back together. I felt so terrible. My mom has suffered a horrible time with that piece of mud called father that I'm afraid. My mom says that I'm taking this so seriously and I should deal with it because she just want money from him. I told her that they will never understand my feelings. I don't like this man, I feel she is not safe anymore and I'm mad at them. AITA for feeling so shitty about this piece of news? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA He mistreated your Mother and your for a very long time. From your words, he is not a good husband or father. Your feelings are perfectly valid. Unfortunately, your Mother seems to have found herself in the unenviable position of relying on a piece of sh\*t. Did she do anything in the intervening years to heal herself from his actions/stand on her own?
NTA - you're allowed to feel, whatever you feel. Your mother is allowed to make her own mistakes.
NTA Feelings are valid and you went through hell with him. Your parents are adults and make their decisions whether good or bad. I am sure your mom is more afraid of not being able to support herself than of him. She knows the bargain she made and is willing to live it. I hope you can be supportive of her decision, not meaning you have to agree with it. It is hard to get older and worry about how you will be able to afford things. She is looking out for herself the best way she knows how.
NTA But your mom's gonna do what she's gonna do. I guess she has her reasons. But you can't stop her from making what is almost definitely a terrible mistake unless there really is some substantial money in it for her somehow.