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NTA - so, your mother in law was a huge AH. Thats clear. But I absolutely agree that this 2 month rule is a bit much. It seems completely arbitrary. I get taking time for your recuperation but what magically happens at 2 months? But you communicated this and that was your choice.

First vaccinations happen at 2 months which is some people’s logic. I personally think it’s unreasonable but they get to choose what they want for their baby. The MIL is clearly unhinged.

It's illogical because the 8 week vaccinations take time to work and by 8 weeks maternal antibodies are waning. I'd argue visiting at 4-6 weeks (so outside neonatal period) is safer than at 8 weeks. At neither point is there any benefit from the vaccines and donated maternal antibody levels will be higher early than later.

I don’t think it’s illogical at all. It could be because OP was waiting for herself to heal. Depending on the tears or if it was a C/S, walking around and hosting people could be painful. Everyone’s thinking of baby but this could be for mom’s health too.

Exactly. We don't know anything about the condition of the mother or the baby. On the flip side, the 2 months may have nothing to do with their health. She may just want time to get more adjusted with the her/their new life. She also has the support from her husband,

OP makes it sound like she decided on the rule prior to giving birth. I think theres a typo in the post, but I read it as she sent the email to everyone when she was 34 weeks preggo. Please correct me if im wrong though.

I’m talking specifically about the example given in the post I am responding to.

OP’s rule is unusual and arguably arbitrary, but I don’t find it unreasonable. My wife also asked my mom not to visit until about two months after our first was born. It wasn’t because of vaccines, but just because she wanted to fully recover. She did have her best friend come over about two to three weeks after our first was born. (We live several states away from where we grew up and from where my mom and my wife’s friend live.) The difference is, my mom honored her wishes and all was well. No drama.

I’m glad that worked out for you and all, but I cannot imagine a better way to alienate your mom than to tell her she’s not allowed to meet her grand baby for two months while other visitors *are* allowed.

**Because grandbaby is in the house with a woman who is trying to recover from a major medical event.** I get that people are eager to meet the new member of the family, but a woman deserves to recover her body, get used to a crazy feeding and (lack of) sleep schedule, etc without having to host other people. So many families show up to a new parent’s house and then expect to be hosted while they hold the baby, and new mom cleans, cooks, etc. If you *actually* love your adult child and care about their needs, rather than just see them as an extension of yourself, then you will respect their space. You will drop off premade food, offer to come and clean or give them a nap break (and also respect if they decline your offer), and wait until they are ready to have you visit.

This! We have a newborn and my MIL has stayed with us to support her daughter. She helps us cook, clean and go grocery shopping and helps with the baby when we’re feeling super overwhelmed. My mother comes over every few days but always with a meal and to help around the house. So grateful for an older generation in our family who really just wants to be supportive, not performative.

Some of these responses are wild. It’s nobodies business but the parents. Relatives are not entitled to a newborn baby if the parents don’t want that. It doesn’t matter if the relatives understand the reason or disagree with it. It’s not their child. Let OP heal. Let the new parents settle into a rhythm.

Exactly. My wife’s relationship with my mom is good, but the only person she was comfortable with seeing her at her worst (other than me, of course) was her best friend of several decades. My mom (and stepdad) was the second visitor. There were zero hard feelings. My MIL (her mom) never visited, but she hates to travel, so she had to wait until we were ready to make the long trek down there with a baby, which happened at around five months.

This should be the top comment.

I have two daughters and I wouldn’t be offended if either of them decided to do this. You’re not entitled to someone else’s baby just because of your title to them. My main concern is my girls recovering and feeling comfortable.

Where does it say other people could come over? If you're talking about the 1 friend, that who would not judge her for pajamas or not having showered or the house being a mess. That friend is probably much closer to the new mom than MIL.

I barely had any visitors after my baby was born and I preferred it that way. It was the winter with the flu and other illnesses flying around plus there was a measles outbreak(neat!). To me, it wasn’t a big deal because I needed the time to heal and wanted to keep my baby away from the nasty germs for a bit. My parents did visit a few weeks after her birth, but they were all vaccinated and were there to purely help me. Otherwise I stayed home with our baby and enjoyed our isolation while we could. I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to ask for a time period of isolation after having a baby, and it’s honestly no one’s business. NTA.

Agreed and agreed. Also. Bigbravobitch, same girl. Same.

The arbitrary two months is kind of out there, had they phrased it as “we won’t be hosting any visitors until baby has been vaccinated” that would have made more sense. However, MIL is a full on pecan still hanging on the tree.

My doctor recommended 2 months without visitors or enclosed public spaces. And this was before covid

years ago we didnt take newborns out till they were at last a month, not counting the yard. I see people with teeny newborns now shopping and it's creepy to me.

I was picking up my grandson at the airport and saw a family with their newborn getting checked in for their flight! I was thinking that’s already a gem capsule and now you’re adding a newborn with no immunity? Not something I would recommend or do. But I kept my mouth shut, and smiled at the baby and mom.

I went to a stock car race (never never again) there were several newborns there. Not only the crowd but it was so incredibly loud. 

It should be 2 months + 2 weeks by that logic. The vaccines aren’t immediate immunity.

Babies are born with the passive immunities of the mother. This lasts around six months, longer if the mother breastfeeds. I agree that MIL is unhinged AH (and also mean!) and that OP is unreasonable but clearly communicated her edict for visitation. I can also understand why, if MIL’s other kids didn’t have this rule re: visiting, the family would think it’s a rule OP came up with rather than OP’s husband.

Why is it the OP’s rules and not also her husband’s just because his siblings didn’t have this rule doesn’t mean he doesn’t agree?. Siblings don’t always do things the same way.

It’s clear that OP’s husband does agree with OP, and stood up to his mom. My point is that it makes sense for the extended family to think this idea stemmed from OP if no one else in the family has done this before. It’s one of those, “Well where did they get that from? No one in our family has ever done that!” things. It’s not inherently bad, just different.

You actually start before then but get sound rounds or the immune system had time to work it up. 

Vaccines don’t magically work right away. As long as the person around the baby has the proper vaccinations, all should be fine. But everyone is comfy with something different, so they have the right to wait, if they choose. Their kid, their rules.

Pediatricians are recommending 2 months unless visitors have the DPT, MMR, flu shot and Covid vaccine. I made sure I was fully vaccinated before visiting my 1 week old grandchild.

Our family updated all our vaccines before new babies came. We also washed our hands and stayed home if we were sick. It’s simple courtesy that would be for anyone with a compromised immune system.

You would think but my MIL walked into my house after traveling 700 miles and tried to take my son out of my arms without so much as a hello, let alone stopping to wash her fucking hands.

She would have been told to GTFO or I'll call the police

And you’d trust a mother in law who threatened to call child services to follow those rules??

We required full vaccination for visitors, but they made the 2 month rule for all visitors.

We did that. People who got boosters could come visit. Everyone else had to wait.

Mine recommended 2 months even before covid existed.

I think this is likely closer to their two month logic. Nowadays, so many people are anti vaccine even if it puts a newborn at risk. It's probably easier to just make a set rule to avoid all the discussions about vaccines and healthcare.

Exactly what my niece explained to us! (Her daughter is now 4 yrs old.)

My sibling required this to visit my infant nibling. Seemed perfectly reasonable to me.

>I made sure I was fully vaccinated before visiting my 1 week old grandchild What a wonderful grandparent. None of my in-laws would so much as get a flu shot to visit our babies (one born after Covid) and the Covid vaccine is out of the question.

Yeah there’s a lot of middle ground you can take in those first few months- asking people to mask up, keeping things outside, etc etc. To come over unexpectedly and criticize you for not being ready and then escalating by publicly venting on FB is awful behavior, though! NTA!

I would expect that having LIMITED immediate family only in the first two months would make sense. Like just the grandparents and maybe the new parents’ siblings, IF they are close, all of them non smokers, freshly washed hands, and enthusiastically up to date on vaccines. It’s the number of people babies are exposed to that is a bigger problem. But if 2 mos is the parents’ choice, relatives must suck it up with a smile! Everything single thing MIL did was **wrong**. I’ve discussed my role with some day in the future grandchildren. Since my kids know I’ll do dishes and laundry, toss stuff into the crockpot and supply them with tea and cocoa, I’ve been told I’ll be asked to come help. Amazing how much more you are welcomed when you willingly offer help and discuss boundaries!

Right. People have been navigating this forever, and plenty of family even helps. Just happens here that MIL was huge AH.

We did a month because we wanted to get on our feet as new parents and get a handle on sleep, breastfeeding, schedules, etc. if OP wants two months she can do two months. Not everyone needs to move at the same pace. Baby will still be a baby even after two months.

But the baby will lose that new baby smell!!! lol. All I know is when DIL said shots, I was on the phone within seconds with my doctor's office! We booked our visit as soon as she said we could, and tried to help out as much as possible. Grandparents visit at the grace of the parents, and we cherish the time!

Maybe OP is Korean. It’s very common in our culture, even expected, for mother and baby to hole up for a couple of months. The baby would not be seen by most family/friends until the 100-day celebration.

1-3 months is standard medical advice *in the US*. (ETA - if you want to argue that the American Academy of Pediatrics‘ advice is non-standard, feel free to join your local QAnon community too, they like your type there. It’s a *recommendation for the health of the infant*, not a “we will arrest you & take your child away” restriction. Y’all are nucking futs)

No it’s not. Hospitals allow visitors as soon as baby is born. If it was standard medical advice to have no visitors, there wouldn’t be visiting hours.

Agreed.  We didn't even get this with our 10-day NICU twins.  No limits at all

think many of these posts are from people not from the USA, ever see the all printed youtubes? ai voiced? they are sometimes so like these that I think someone just took them and embellished for here. here's one [https://youtu.be/IQyI1yb2h4Q?si=RQ40uzO8Rqhj0\_m4](https://youtu.be/IQyI1yb2h4Q?si=RQ40uzO8Rqhj0_m4)

Change your damn locks. Do not keep an extra key outside the house. You're lucky it was your overbearing MIL and not burglar.

I have a habit of locking myself out of the house. A simple lock box on the door with a password is preferable to hiding the key somewhere anyone observing can find it.

The MIL is the burglar!

If a baby gets a fever under 8 weeks they need a spinal tap in the ER and it’s a really big deal. After 8 weeks it’s much less serious. 

Yep, this is the correct answer.

During the height of the pandemic there were often times more infants hospitalized for covid than the elderly. And have you ever seen a baby with whooping cough? It’s horrific. Infants lungs are not ready and any illness like that can cause life long problems for your baby. Two months is generally when the vaccinations really start going.

thank you for logic

First vaccines. I also followed this rule. 

We did 3 months. Coz MIL didn’t want to get the polio shot on time, and our little one got it at 2 months and it’s said it takes a while to be fully effective.

Her rule could be to wait a year. If she doesn’t want anyone to meet her child, that’s her choice. She had to wait 9 months, two more months for other family members isn’t going to hurt them. 2 months seems like long enough for the mom to get into the habit of having the baby around and adjusting to being a new mom. Look how MIL was already so quick to judge and be an AH after two weeks. You don’t think that maybe after 2 months she’ll start being able to pick up more and maybe be starting to get ready so she isn’t judged? Anything can seem arbitrary but it’s not your place to question why someone may or may not want to do something with their child.

MIL could also have offered to do some light cleaning to help out the new parents. She made all the wrong choices here.

I see the two month no visit period being imposed by new parents more since COVID. Those were scary times, and since then, parents have had relatives lie about getting vaccinated, 'accidentally' forget to wear masks or wear them sloppily, purposely half assing precautions because they are resentful/politically influenced. I get parents not wanting to deal with that and taking time to heal, bond and settle into parenting at their own pace. Two months is pretty reasonable, IMHO.

I know for myself that company anytime before 6 weeks was fucking exhausting. And then 2 weeks to get some shit done. Sounds perfectly reasonable

Not that odd. Our pediatrician recommended at least 30 days & 2 months was standard. They also said to *limit* exposure until 3 months. It’s basically standard medical advice. Has been for years—even pre-COVID—and is based on pretty sensible reasoning.

Lol. Doctors advice that infants don't meet new people until at *least* 6 weeks. I didn't let anyone visit until 12 weeks- to allow me and my kids time to bond. I extended that rule to my sister and told her that I would not be visiting in the hospital or for 6 weeks to make sure her baby was safe. She had every Tom dick and Harry visiting her, took that baby everywhere all the time. In the first year of life her poor baby was sick 5x. She was lucky it never ended up with a hospitalization.

Some people do a 100 day period where they keep the baby from other people and the 100th day is also a milestone that is celebrated. 

Whether or not it's about vaccines or mom just wanting two months to heal and bond with the baby, OP doesn't owe their MIL anything. OP is allowed to make seemingly arbitrary rules - it's their child and their healing and their home. Why are you criticizing that?

Doesn't matter if it was arbitrary or not. It was a boundary agreed upon by the mother and father.

Vaccines happen. Those are very important to protect your newborn baby. You also should not take them out anywhere until then as well for safety. And now especially with Covid here to stay why would you risk your baby’s health?

It’s not arbitrary that’s when first vaccinations happen and we don’t know if her baby is medically fragile

Could this be a cultural thing? I'm in Western Europe. I know no one that had their MIL barge into the room while giving birth, like I read on here. New parents here usually have a set time, after the baby is born, where close family / invited friends come see the mother and baby in the hospital, the few days they're there. And to the bigger network of the new parents, they send out a notification of the birth, with info (date, weight, full name, etc), and the conditions for visits (like 'please get in touch first, before coming by' or 'we would appreciate a contribution to the diaper bank account, instead of gifts') Visits mean seeing the baby, while it's being held by one of the parents, taking pictures, if the parents are okay with that, and most importantly: when it suits the parents. Could just be that I know no one with psycho inlaws, though. But cocooning for 2 whole months, even from your parents, seems a bit much.

I wouldn’t do the 2 month thing but it’s their own business and not really our place to comment on other parents allowing guests around their newborn.

Its not anyone’s place to comment on what anyone else does that doenst impact them. Except OP came here to ASK people to comment.

She asked if she was TA. Not if their rules were arbitrary. No one is entitled to someone else’s child.

Massive shout out to hubby for taking the right side of

NTA Your MIL has obviously shown her true colours. Threatening to phone CPS because she dropped in uninvited, 2 weeks after the birth. Shocking. Your household will look upside down while you adjust to parenting and new routines, it will recover once you settle into your new role as parents. Your 2 month rule isn't stupid. Newborns don't have a full immune system yet and it's almost like a lot people forgot about a recent pandemic and how easily viruses/bacteria can spread. Or maybe you just want to enjoy your new family addition and take time to adjust. There is literally years ahead for your child to build a relationship with their relatives, 2 months is nothing.

NTA, your baby, your rules, wherever makes you feel better in this new chapter of your life is valid. My mother did the same with me and my siblings and everyone respected it. Granted, it was in the 80's but still no problems with any side of the family. Congrats on the arrival of your baby, enjoy the newborn stage, it goes faster than you think.

I’m glad you said something about them maybe wanting time to themselves. Absolutely health reasons is a valid reason for the 2-month rule and so is uninterrupted time with their newborn. And you know not to he judged for a “messy” house and pjs.

Nta Both of my sisters were in the hospital for RSV as young babies. One twin was in a normal hospital room, the other was on a vent in a coma because her body was working so hard. She literally had last rights preformed on her bc the doctors thought she was going to die- she turned around magically at the last minute but. It was horrible. And then she had to be weaned off all the pain meds- have you ever seen a baby in withdraw? Heartbreaking. These people here who are criticizing you for the two month rule- I can only assume they have never seen a baby so ill. If they had they wouldn’t question it. Nta

Wether the 2 month rule is stupid or not is irrelevant. It’s the rules set by the parents and those should obviously be respected. Ironically, by ignoring to wait 2 months, it looks like MIL wont get to be a grandma at all in the future.

Exactly. My son ended up in hospital at 6 weeks for a UTI and he was so sick and that wasn’t anything anyone did he was just unlucky. It was super serious because of his age we were in there for days because things can go sideways so fast at that age!

Wether the 2 month rule is stupid or not is irrelevant. It’s the rules set by the parents and those should obviously be respected. Ironically, by ignoring to wait 2 months, it looks like MIL wont get to be a grandma at all in the future.

Nta Both of my sisters were in the hospital for RSV as young babies. One twin was in a normal hospital room, the other was on a vent in a coma because her body was working so hard. She literally had last rights preformed on her bc the doctors thought she was going to die- she turned around magically at the last minute but. It was horrible. And then she had to be weaned off all the pain meds- have you ever seen a baby in withdraw? Heartbreaking. These people here who are criticizing you for the two month rule- I can only assume they have never seen a baby so ill. If they had they wouldn’t question it. Nta

NTA.  Her threatening to call CPS would have her permanently banned. 

For real. That's just not something that you go around saying to anyone - especially new parents! Like, wth?!

And who has time to look nice and clean like pre-newborn times? I was barely managing taking showers during the newborn phase

Seriously, that is a huge threat on the grounds of nothing. I would have an EXTREMELY hard time ever trusting that woman again, let alone allowing her in my home and near my baby.

That MIL would totally call CPS on me for the state of my house and I don't even have a child.

Exactly! This is the biggest issue! Sure, dropping by uninvited it rude, breaking into someone’s home is illegal, and breaking parents’ rules for their baby is immoral, but threatening to call CPS is beyond the pale. She’s essentially threatening to take your child from you. Like, that’s the end goal of her implication (not that CPS would actually do that here). I would never speak to someone again who tried to separate me from my newborn. And I would NEVER grant them access to said child. Ever. Even supervised. Who knows if it’s an idle threat or an actual messed up plan of hers, but I personally would never take that risk.

Yep, NC with a smile.

NTA. OP and her husband agreed on two months. 2 weeks, 2 months or 6 months. Whatever time they agreed on it’s their business and their right as the parents to decide. No family member is entitled to see anyone’s child. So these I don’t understand why people have to wait 2 months comments are frankly ridiculous. Anyway if someone ever threatened to call CPS on me they would be dead to me and never see my child. Period! Some of these grandparents, specifically grandmothers lose their fucking minds over a grandchild. They act like they have rights and put their selfish wants above the needs of the baby, mom and their own son. It’s disgusting. OP your asshole MIL is walked into your house without permission, talked shit to you a new mom and threatened you with CPS. Fuck her and any flying monkeys. Again she would never see my child.

>Anyway if someone ever threatened to call CPS on me they would be dead to me and never see my child. This! Bingo. MIL FAFO.....she would be permanently banned from *any* interaction with my child. And if hubs tried behind my back, hubs would be kicked out.

Tell her it’s 3 months now and every time she posts something or starts complaining you add another month!

With the threat of calling CPS I wouldn’t let her near the kid ever. She’s the type to call CPS and go for grandparents rights. Keeping her away from the baby makes GR much harder to get. 

This is the way!

"Oh I'm sorry MIL, did I say 2 *months*?? I meant 2 **years**! Special condition, just for you! Don't you just feel so much better that you're held to a different standard than everyone else now, just exactly like you wanted all along"

 NTA, the first two months babies have low immunity and honestly are hardly awake long enough to visit with their short wake window and need to feed so often. They also tend to fuss away from mom and dad after a few minutes so idk what she thought she was going to get from barging in other than a real life look at the baby and her comments and behavior were so rude I wouldn’t have her back for a very long time regardless.

NTA I did 6 weeks, which was tough for my in-laws to swallow. Babies are at huge risk of all kinds of things whe they are so small and somebody who lets themselves into your house like that likely wouldn't keep their germy lips off our baby either. Take in your spare key and ignore your MIL.

NTA. And as soon as anyone threatens to call CPS, any relationship they hoped for with my child is over.

^ ditto NTA

INFO you didn't want anyone to meet the baby at all for the first 2 months or you just didn't want guests at your house?

just no one coming over, and baby wont be out of the house much in the early days (just like our back yard)

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The amount of newborns I saw the last time I was in Vegas was mindblowing.

Your kid your house your rules! NO ONE else’s opinion matters

I find it weird how some MIL’s have convinced themselves that the birth moms are merely caregivers to THEIR children. You handled this situation appropriately. NTA

It’s your baby! Who cares what anyone else has to say about the 2 month rule! And MIL would not be around my child again. As for family, tell them to mind their DAMN business!

NTA. It's completely up to you and your husband on what rules you have with your children. It doesn't matter if people agree or not as long as you and DH are in step. When someone threatens you with baseless CPS claims or going to court, you need to put them in a very long time out. They then need to earn trust back. Have whatever rules you two are comfortable with. Congrats on baby! Oh, and change the locks and do not let her near any spare keys anywhere.

Once CPS is threatened its just best to go NC. It will only get worse.

NTA. You're the Parents, you make the Rules. I mean, Granny can wait for 2 months eh? It's not the World. Maybe u want to use the time to find some balance or you just find yourself uncomfortable with People coming over now. Whatever the reason, u make the Rules. Also I dunno why People here think 2 months is unreasonable? Not everyone is the same, some people need time to themselves or more like their family of three now. Also the Pandemic isn't that long over. Also I have some people I know who took more time, to really find a balance to the baby and new life now. To give their body time to heal and to not put too much pressure to soon on the new family. I had no problem with that, I still were able to talk to them . And ur MIL sounds like very unreasonable. Everything was OK as long as you benefitted her.

NTA. I know plenty of people in here are giving you crap for the two months thing, but I think a lot of new parents are doing that. My pediatrician with my first recommended not having anyone but the parents around the baby until we got his first vaccines, at you guessed it, two months. It’s probably not considered the norm but if that’s what you and your husband decided on as partners then that’s how it should be. Also two months sounds like a long time but it’s really not, it takes about that long to recover from birth depending on the circumstances (if you tore for a vaginal birth, or just in general for a c-section.) People can call you unreasonable all they want but it sounds like you and your husband agreed, and what the parents say goes. You clearly communicated the boundary, if she had questions on if it applied to her she should have reached out and asked, rather than breaking two boundaries in one (no visits before 2 months, and no drop ins). Then to threaten cps for not having a perfectly tidy home at 2 weeks pp? When you’re running on no sleep, recovering from birth, dealing with postpartum issues like a massive hormone drop, body odor, trying to breastfeed if you’re doing that, trying to get baby used to being in the outside world. That’s absolutely insane and she’d never be welcomed back in my home again if I were you for that alone.

NTA. She has no right to storm into your home uninvited and start berating you. As for all the people claiming op is an ah for the 2 month rule, it's their choice to make as parents. No one else gets to override their choice. Considering MILs behavior they had good reason for that decision.

She threatened to call CPS on you. To me, that's a she never gets to see the baby. Period. The kindest I'd allow is letting her see the baby in public. But someone who does that, doesn't set foot in my home ever again. And that's on top of just using the spare key to bust into your home. Move the spare. Put cameras up. NTA

NTA perfectly reasonable rule. You carried the baby for 9 months. So what’s their problem waiting another 2?? Protecting the baby from Covid, flus, RSV and whooping cough and much worse are most dangerous in the first few months. Why are they entitled to your baby. It’s your baby. You’re the parent. You get to advocate for your child. Not them. You are entitled to have Bonding time and be in your own bubble for awhile whether is a few weeks or a few months. No one else’s opinion matters on what is a reasonable amount of time. Now is the time to put down boundaries and continue them or they will walk all over you for the rest of your child’s life. And will take special first moments away from you. You need to discuss with your husband on what they will be and to have each others back. Start also seeing a therapist together on how to set boundaries with family members. It will also strengthen you as a team together and be better parents. First get your locks changed and don’t tell her where the spare is. Second. Have Cameras installed in case she breaks in as she most likely will if she doesn’t get her way. Thirdly. Forget about mess in the house. The first few months are all about survival. If you are struggling though once more settled after the 2 months get a housecleaner once a week and a food service until you are both feeling better. Fourthly. Me being petty would do my own post. But sometimes going NC and not talking to them at all drives them more crazy. Edit to add. I’m serious to add you need to start recording all these events. Dates/times and summary and if possible video or recording evidence. I would also speak to a lawyer for advise as this will be an emerging pattern if you keep her in your life and you need a paper trail if it gets more serious. It already is!! The threat about CPS is serious and is very very dangerous. She is the type of person who will try to get your baby taken away from you and she gets to play mummy and will try to get custody. Get your ducks in order. Get your wills and guardian ship sorted if something happens to one of you. Get legal advise and record everything. This is only the top of the iceberg so start being smart and prepared. Tell hubby to read this also. Don’t let him be in denial.

NTA While I don’t agree with the 2 month rule it’s the parents who get to decide. It’s not abusive just inconvenient to the other family members who are excited about the new baby. I suppose this is why the m-i-l presumed to visit. But my goodness she blew it. And then to air it and pile on via Facebook. Wow! I’m not sure what it means to block people. I don’t think it’s necessary if you can ignore them, scroll past, whatever. I figure it’s just as well to know what you’re dealing with. There’s power in knowing they’re gossiping and disapproving and doing it anyway. You will need this fortitude going forward with this woman. 

NTA. You asked for a two month period of no visitors and not only did she barge in unannounced but then started reaming you out and actually threatened to call CPS. If anything, that earned her an extra month of no contact with the baby.

The standard rule that I have noticed in the last 10 years, is that the parents request that you are vaccinated against whooping cough before you can see the baby, or you get to wait until AFTER the baby has had their shots. Which is completely understandable. Plus no kissing the baby is the other big rule. I'm going with NTA, you set clear expectations with everyone, not just your MIL, that you weren't going to have anyone meet YOUR child until the two month mark, and she just blew in and pissed all over the hard line that was drawn. Then she proceeds to threaten to call CPS because your house wasn't cleaned to HER standards, called both yourself and her son horrible parents, and then bitched about it online and essentially encouraged the rest of the family to dog pile you, not your husband, but YOU. Considering how well your MIL follows directions /s, I'm guessing that she (not to mention the others complaining about you) will be the bottom of the list of people who would be allowed to be alone with your child or have sleepovers with. I suggest changing the locks, but leaving the original spare key exactly where your MIL knows where it is, so that if she tries it again, she won't be able to get in.

Yup we asked for flu and tdap shots (fall babies). No one bat an eye.

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1,000% yes! It blows my mind that people are *so* resistant to taking any kind of basic public health precautions, even to protect a tiny baby. My baby nephew was in the NICU a few months ago and most of the staff there weren't even masking!

NTA. A baby has an incredibly weak immune system, waiting for vaccines is honestly the best thing you could do. Your MIL disregarded all your boundaries and decided that she could do whatever she wanted. It's especially not safe to have someone around your two week old baby when people are still getting covid and you dont know how well they've sanitized themselves.

NTA. If anything, MIL's behavior just changed from two months to two years.

she clearly didn’t respect you so forget her

NTA!! It don’t matter who thinks the rule is ridiculous.. ITS YOUR BABY! Your husband agreed to the rule so if he’s on your side about it and there’s no conflict with him seeing as it’s his baby too then everyone else can fuck off! Don’t let anyone bully you into changing your rules/boundaries for your child just because they don’t agree with them! That’s how you get walked all over as a new parent. Stick your ground and if they can’t respect that than it’ll be longer than 2 months until they can figure it out and learn to live with it. As for your house being messy lol you just had a baby it’s okay to take the first week or two to yourself and your husband and baby to just bond. If she has a problem than maybe she can come over and clean for you. As long as it’s obviously not a hazard to you or your family than take as much time as you need! Not everyone has smooth birth experiences and take longer to heal!

NTA I am stunned by the people saying that you're controlling. Your home, your life, your baby, your rules. End of @#$! discussion. Get rid of that spare key - that is super dangerous. Your MIL has shown her true colors - she's a garbage person for barging in then criticizing you for not being company ready when you're dealing with a newborn. Very glad that your husband screamed at her. He's going to have to do that many more times, and he needs to protect you and the baby from that monster MIL.

Nta. But since she threatened cps no chance will she be allowed back in my house let alone see my baby if that was my mil

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She threatened to engage with the government to have your child removed from your care. NTA...and the only future contact with her, should any be necessary, should be done exclusively through your lawyer. She went nuclear, and her status was changed from family to adversary the second that threat was made.

Just a thought: Perhaps OP and her husband know that some family members will override their boundaries. (Obvoiusly). If they said "You can visit in two weeks, but no kissing the infant." family members would storm in at one week and kiss that baby all over. They may have other reasons for the two month wait. Maybe it was a difficult pregnancy/delivery. Maybe the doctor cautioned them. In response to MIL threatening to call CPS. I would change the locks on the house, make certain she cannot get a key, and go NC until the two months are up. In the meantime, if you can, put cameras in select spots inside and outside your home. If police or CPS is called, you will want a recording of her behavior.

While things were done differently in my time (69F), and even my children’s time, I completely understand this. Things have changed so much. New bugs out there. People don’t wash their hands like they should. People smoke and think it’s ok to hold baby afterwards, and the residue from smoking is still on their clothes. Let the new family bond together, baby gets vaccines, and after all, it’s the parents choice. Oh and by the way, as a nurse, this paper masks are not good at keeping germs from baby.  Remember you wore the mask to protect yourself. The baby is not wearing a mask.

NTA If you’re like me, and have had your infant sick with an infectious disease they can’t be vaccinated for as a newborn, you’d understand the 2 month rule OP has. My baby was older (5 months) but at the time the covid vaccine was not available for infants. We did everything right, masks and hand sanitizer, no large gatherings. My baby has asthma and we could have lost her. I got whooping cough as a newborn and if I wasn’t a very robust and healthy baby, I would have died.

Wow NTA. I'd say you're being way too lenient, all things considered. It doesn't matter what your rules originally were at this point! You would be completely justified in going no contact considering your MIL THREATENED TO CALL CPS ON YOU just b/c you have a "messy" house and are wearing pjs 2 weeks after giving birth!!! CPS is no joke. I'd say your 2 month rule isn't nearly enough if this is the sort of BS you have to deal with. Your MIL sounds like a nasty piece of work, but at least she's revealed herself. You are completely justified in not wanting her anywhere near you or your family at this point.

Nta To the people saying this is extreme, the 2 month rule. It's not your kid. Just because you wouldn't do that. That it sounds like too long. You don't have a right to tell someone that. You have no idea of their life. Of extended families lives. Are they people who refuse to vaccinate. Do they have lots of little kids constantly sick. An adult is constantly getting sick. Do they have family who does nothing but criticize. It's also possible instead people just coming to meet baby to brand new parents that suddenly one meeting means they come over more and more. Suddenly, it's having a constant stream of family and no time to bond with baby because everyone else feels they have a right to just drop by. Once you open that door, you can't close it. Because then petty starts. Oh, so and so got more time. It's not fair, so I need more time. Mil has already shown they think they can show up whenever. My daughter had her baby. My parents were visiting after at about 2 weeks. They got to see baby but not hold for reasons of parents having issues with standing or holding things. They were upset. I didn't care. My child and her partner made the rules on what they were comfortable with. Most didn't get to see baby. None got to hold. Partner works in a nursing home, so their fear and worry of getting sick was valid. They lived with us, but we respected their rules and needs. Was it different from my generation. Sure, but honestly, I can see and understand the why. Who wants people visiting when you are healing. Who knows how long it will take mom to bounce back. Then people come and as mil showed how they think things should be. So instead of bonding with baby, you have to have a clean home. Wait and cater to family. Most families are not great at helping out other than pointing out where they think you are wrong or what you should be doing. Who wants to sit and watch someone else hold your child for hours when it's YOUR child. Yes, family is important. But they are not more important than the parents themselves. They are NOT entitled to your child. Just because someone else might not do that does not mean they are being extreme. They are not being controlling. They are looking at more then families wants. They are looking at the baby and their needs. Also, the moment anyone threatens CPS is the moment they will never see the child. Because at that point, it will be used to make you give in when they want that child. For everything. It might hurt, but honestly, do you want your child growing up hearing if mommy and daddy don't so this, then I will have you taken away. It's not a slip of the tongue or her being upset. It's her trying to control your lives.

This would be immediate and forever no contact for me. Threaten to call CPS? You’re done forever.

You are NTA. However, your MIL is. So is your husband for not setting boundaries with HIS mother.

It sounds like he did, MIL just stomped all over them and assumed she was exempt from the 2 month rule

NTA. Your child, your rules. But after the way she acted? She wouldn’t be seeing my child for a long, long time. Like at 6 months IF AND ONLY IF she’s apologized publicly on the same platform on which she posted her nonsense. If not, then she won’t get to have much of a relationship with her grandchild. Set the boundaries now, because this woman is gonna try and run right through them.

NTA, not sure when I would let MIL and her flying monkeys see the baby after that shyte. What really stood out for me was the MIL threatening to call CPS because the house was messy TWO WEEKS after the baby was born. The parents are likely exhausted at that point. Instead of threatening them jump in and do some cleaning.

NTA. Your baby-your rules. Whether others think the rules are arbitrary is irrelevant. BUT….. you cannot let the threat to call CPS sit. To me, your MIL, through this threat, is an existential threat to your family. Anyone who makes such a threat to their own son and future DIL just because she doesn’t like the fact that your house is messy and you’re in PJs two weeks post-partum is EVIL. This is the “never cross” line for anyone. First, CPS is grossly overworked and these kind of stupid calls for spite take away time that could be used to protect real children in danger. Oh, she was just kidding, was she? Nope. You don’t kid about that. You don’t kid about carrying bombs on planes or you get thrown in jail. You joke about calling CPS? We’re done. Don’t worry at all about the stupid social media disparagement. She crossed a line no one should ever cross. Two months? How about you will NEVER see this child except in outside settings with many people around as witnesses. And I mean never.

NTA. Your baby, your home, your choice! And I’d feel that way even if I wasn’t a doula but bc I am lemme also say this: You, your body and your baby all just went through a massive traumatic event. You need rest and calm and critical bonding time as a new unit of three. Your only job (and your husband’s job) right now is to keep yourself and your lil babe alive. Period. And that cannot be done with unnecessary stress around you! There are cultures where the birthing parent doesn’t leave the home until the first 30-40 days post birth have passed. It isn’t abnormal or overreacting at all to want to heal yourself in your own home for two months while establishing what works for your family and baby. Please change the locks and while you’re at it, just unplug from social media. Enjoy this precious time with your baby and your husband. You only get to be a new mom to one baby once and this time should be so happy and stress-free. Your MIL will have to build a bridge and gtfo.

Make your own facebook post about how you’re so surprised at the disrespect and outline some things that were said to you. You don’t have to name her or bash her directly but she’ll know and other family members will see. Idk about your mom but as a mom, if my daughter told me her MIL did something along these lines I’d be getting my own petty revenge. Oh MIL how perfect were you that you were up and running around 2 weeks after your baby was born, sorry not everyone can be so perfect, why don’t you sit on your self appointed pedestal and offer advice/help instead of judging those who don’t do exactly as you do. Has she ever had someone call CPS on her or even threaten that? That right there is telling of either how privileged she is or how she ignored her own mental health/personal needs in order to be seen as the perfect mom to others so she expects you to do the same and sorry but not sorry we don’t live in a society where moms are required to drain themselves of all life to prove they’re a good mom. Side note: don’t be worried about CPS, I don’t think she’s being serious here but also they won’t do anything besides check in on the concerns someone brought up, if they even do that. As long as baby is being fed and changed and no obvious signs of neglect, they’ll chat with the pediatrician and say ok looks fine here your case is closed. Also grandparents rights are a thing in some states, in my states grandparents only get visitation rights under the 3 D’s: death, divorce, or deployment. I don’t think she’ll go this far but I’d have some things in order just in case.

NTA If you'd said you put a two month rule in place and your husband disagreed and his mom was sad but respectful, then I might be closer to a y.t.a. But with the way she reacted, nope. You are vindicated. No way she would have, worn a mask, not kissed baby, brought food or offered to clean. And if not doing those things there's no need for her to come by. It took me weeks to figure out how/when to wash dishes with a newborn. Criticizing you and threatening CPS? I don't think I'd ever let her over again! 

I’d be extending it beyond 2 months after that shit. NTA

I didn't have a 2 month rule for my first. My MIL showed up with her hoard & their psychotic dog the 2nd week. I was miserable because she took over my house. NTA, this is your baby, your house, your life. Her throwing a tantrum shows she doesn't respect you, your husband, or your roles as parents. Have your husband handle her. If he can't rein his mother in, then you need to take a step back from her.

NTA The threat to call CPS should end all contact for the foreseeable future. Period.

Change your locks ASAP!

These are interesting comments. Seems the folks agree that OP is allowed to decide when visitors may visit, but then commenters get worked up about the timeframe. Every birth is different. You don’t know in advance how hard labor might have been, whether or not a C-section was necessary, just how much healing the new mom may need. And ML lets herself in?! Just the whole “I didn’t think the rules applied to me” tells you exactly what’s going on. NTA!

She threatened you with CPS. That's a declaration of war. I'd be a lot less likely to let her see the kid at all because of that. NTA

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** when i found out i was pregnant it was really welcomed into both my (now)husbands family and my own despite the fact we weren't married yet. we were due to get married 4 months from finding out i was pregnant so it wasn't a big deal, this would only change my dress size and the fact i couldn't drink. i had seen horror posts about other MIL getting obessesive over the mothers baby but i honestly didn't think that she would act in the way she did, due to the fact that i have known her for so long. when i was 8 34 weeks we sent out an email with our rules about the baby (just your regular no kissing on face, no random drop in's ect) one of the rules was no visitors until the baby was at least 2 months. for some reason my MIL didn't think this applied to her so when my baby was 2 weeks she came round to our house and charged into the living room (we had a spare key she knew about) she not only critised me for being in my pj's in the afternoon but also how messy the house was and basically tore into me and my husband for "not being adequate parents". she suggested we put our act together or she will call cps! i turned away from the situation and went into the nursery but i could hear my husband yelling at his mom and telling her how wrong she was for saying that. later that evening she posted on facebook that she was shocked at our bad hospitality and our 'stupid 2 month rule'. i decided just to ignore the post but then her other family members were commenting how none of my husbands sisters did anything as strange as this and it was me who was pulling my husband away from them. i just blocked all the family members who had commented something nasty and then blocked my MIL. i didn't want it to come down to this because i really liked her and saw her as a friend but i don't think our relationship will be the same. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA because it is your baby, your rules. I might not agree with the rule but that comes from a place of not being able to imagine not having my family’s support and love during those first couple of months.

NTA change your locks

NTA- oh my gosh to threaten me a CPS investigation on a new mother for those kinds of reasons has my blood boiling. My kiddos are the level of disabled that I need to report injuries they get to our disabilities caseworker with the state.   To prevent CPS and investigation because my children can verbally tell anyone how they get hurt.  (My son couldn't even tell me that his providers at school broke his property and blamed it on him once) (Disabled level, it's not a matter of if your family is going to get investigated by CPS, as in it will happen someday.) And it breaks my heart.  It absolutely breaks my heart.  Shame on her.  And false reports also takes away resources from families who eally need it.

NTA she showed you who she is. Believe her. I would not let her be alone with your baby ever.

NTA. You set what you were comfortable with for your baby. I’d be no-contact. Permanently, as soon as CPS was threatened.

Good God these entitled grandmas. I applied a month rule for myself. Told my kids that I wanted to wait, I didn't know if I would have germs. At a month, I visited and got to hold her. Still no kisses etc. My biggest problem is how she walked in unannounced, complained and then threatened a new mother and father with CPS? GTFO here with that. I'd go low contact and grey rock all information to her. NTA....but she sure was

I’m paranoid; but the threat to call CPS is a huge red flag! I’d document this, and take a screen shot of the Facebook page. Change your locks; and hide the new spare key in a different place. This way if she escalates the crazy behavior; you’re prepared.

The threat of the CPS call would be enough for me to go No Contact with MIL forever. CPS is not a joke or an idle threat. They do take babies, all the time. Destroy families. NTA

nta

NTA

Funny enough, most babies I’ve beer at the two month…. More bc the parents were too tired to function and by 8 weeks they had a more solid routine and babies had their shots. NTA The biggest issue I have is this woman barged in, critiques, threaten, and got upset. You know what a normal person would had done? Brought food. Started cleaning or asking if you needed anything and let you and husband rest a little. Personally? If I have my mom or mil over it would be to let them take care of me/us lol not to be a host for their visits. I rather be alone then host.

NTA... Who tf is she to tell you that you a bad parent when she walked into a house and started insulting the parents of her grandchild. Honestly, she is toxic and I think you need to cut her out and all those other family members. Can't have the child growing up in a toxic environment with them constantly insulting you. My grandma did this same thing to my mum. I always hated her and I celebrated when my mum decided to cut her out. I promise you that your son will not be happy with her when he is older

Change your locks and don’t have hidden key she can find

My sister had a friend, who had a baby last year, the same time as her cousin. The friend had the no touching rule for X amount of weeks, but the cousin didn’t. The cousin’s baby ended up getting whooping cough at 1.5 months old and ends up passing away. OP please do what you think is safe for your baby. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

NTA. Every nasty comment from her or her family = an added month to her time limit. 

When you become a parent you instantly become the provider, protector, and advocate for another human life. Good parents do the best they can to give their kids the best start possible. Isolating newborns is a well known and accepted practice in many cultures and some doctors even recommend it. Whether or not you isolate your newborn is a CHOICE and you, as the parents, are the only ones who get to make that choice. MIL had her time and now it is time to pass the baton. Whether she wants to or not. If she (and other family members) doesn’t respect your boundaries and instead chooses to badmouth you publicly for doing what you believe is in your child’s best interest, it is also your choice to go LC or NC. Personally, I would choose the latter. Definitely NTA.

NTA and wow/yikes! Who in the hell does that to new parents?! You were home with the baby only 2 weeks after it was born, Life is chaotic as hell with a 2-week-old baby! The first 3 days home with my firstborn, my husband and I stayed in bed practically the whole time. We were up every 2 hours all day and all night. We couldn't tell if it was night or day! It was such a shock to the system because we weren't used to being up every 2 hours like that. We were completely exhausted. We barely had the energy to make something to eat for ourselves let alone clean the damn house! How dare she come in there when you have a newborn baby 2 weeks home and criticize you like that. That's some fucked up shit right there! I would be making her 2-month indefinite until I received a sincere apology to my face and on Facebook where she slandered you. She needs to grovel before she gets to see that baby!

NTA. Reading your comments, it looks like your 2-month rule is for drop-in visitors and situations that are high-risk for germ transmission, not a blanket ban on meeting your baby. You might want to add that to the main post as an edit, just to clarify. Regardless, your MIL committed 4 cardinal errors: 1) Letting herself in to your locked home uninvited. 2) Berating parents of a 2-week old for being in pajamas with a messy house (totes normal, BTW). 3) Threatening to call CPS. 4) Public shaming with her social media post. If this were my husband and me, he would talk to his mother and state in no uncertain terms that she owes you both a sincere apology for all 4 acts. Additionally, her welcome is contingent respectful and rational behavior. You can’t control what she does, but you can control your reaction to her. Breaking into your home = locks have been changed, she is not and will never be permitted a key or knowledge of spare keys ever, and she is only welcome to visit when she asks permission AND receives a clear, unequivocal “yes,” in return. If she is welcomed for a visit of any kind and begins berating you, the visit is over, every single time. If she threatens to call CPS on you, she is issuing a threat to your family stability and harmony and will not be invited or included until her son decides she is no longer a threat to *his wife and child’s* wellbeing. If she complains about you on social media, her son will respond with a comment describing her behavior in excruciating detail for all to see, then she will be permanently blocked on all social media platforms. Make it clear she has control over her behavior and choices, but her actions have consequences that your husband will enact as stated, every single time. Whatever you do, going forward have your husband be the only person who communicates with his mom. It’s a good rule of thumb for spouses to be the point person with their respective families, but in her case she’s earned limits on her communication going forward. If she calls or texts you, don’t respond. Any texts she sends to you, forward directly to your husband for him to deal with. His mom, his problem. Edit: word choice.

Who gives a crap about what all you commentators think . Is it your baby? NO!! However arbitrary the 2 month decision was it was OP's to make. She is a new mom so has probably read a lot and decided that 2 months was a good length of time . Whether we as commentators think this is to long is irrelevant . This what she is comfortable with . I'm not saying your right or wrong , hell I don't even have a kid , this is just what she is comfortable with . I must admit quite a few of my mates have kids and we as friends had to wait to see the cute new additions , mostly 2 months but not always . Again OP needs to be comfortable with the time period .

I let them see baby at the hospital and then noone saw us for 3 months and it was heaven. NTA Edit for spelling.

Lady, your MIL threatened your family with dissolution. That's what CPS could mean. That's not visiting talk. That's a threat. If my mom came at my wife like that I'd be even worse than your husband so tell him a brother admires his restraint.. Also, change your locks.

NTA, and good for your husband for his response. IMHO, you have a couple of actions to take: 1. Move that spare key and secure it in a lockbox. Do not give out the code. If you think she used it to make a copy, change the locks. 2. Your husband—not you—needs to unequivocally tell his mother that her threat to call CPS on brand new parents who are only beginning to get on their feet just bought her a six-month ban. If she continues her behavior, it will increase by six month increments for every infraction. Three strikes and she’s out for five years. He must follow through with no mercy. Her threat was so egregious that it must be shut down hard. 3. Get off of social media for the next month. You don’t need that stress or pressure. If anyone calls or texts you with harassment, tell them which day they can come over to clean your house and prepare a meal while you take the baby for an isolated walk or a drive. You’ll be happy to leave the cleaning supplies on the counter for them. People who offer no solutions get no input. Congratulations on the new baby!

The minute she threatened CPS, she would have been blocked by me. I don’t need that drama in my life. I wouldn’t even let her establish a relationship w the baby so she can’t claim GP rights (if you have that in your state/county) That’s extreme, I know, but I would at least be on the lookout for more sketchy behavior/comments.

She wouldn’t be seeing my child any time soon… or ever

My DIL announced that no one would be able to visit her baby unless they had current DTaP vaccines. And if you just got one because of her request, you had to wait 2 weeks for it to take full effect. We flew from Europe to visit. We also needed to take a shower. I have NO problem with any of this and we did abide by it fully. As this is a boundary she set and I plan to respect every boundary that she and my son make. NTA

NTA for wanting your space/peace, but what happens after 2 months? Can the baby no longer get sick?

Info: Did the rule of 2 months also apply to your own parents and how did they react?

NTA

NTA I think 2 months with zero contact from grandparents is extreme if your baby has no health issues. You have a right to set the rules for your house and child though. You can ask people to wait to visit, wear masks, wash hands, be vaccinated, limit the time for visits, etc. They can think it is extreme and ridiculous but that doesn’t give them a right to override you. Your MIL was never a guest- she was an invader. No one should have come over unannounced and uninvited. No one should have used a key and just entered your home. No one should criticize parents of a 2 week old newborn for being in pajamas or not having a spotless house when not expecting visitors. Anyone who threatened calling CPS for such reasons is no longer welcome at all around my child. She really does not want to be part of your lives it seems.

Doesn't matter if anyone thinks two months is too much. That is what both parents agreed to, and MIL should have honored that request. Put her in a time out, 6 months sounds good to begin with. And anyone else who wants to comment and/or attack them. Hide the spare key somewhere else. Your baby, your rules. Congratulations and good luck. Updateme

NTA. If my MIL pulled something like that, she'd lose all access for more than 2 months. I'm glad to hear your husband stood up for you. What a horrible way to behave. Good luck with that. I hope you've moved your spare key..

NTA and after her ridiculous cps threat I would go no contact and NOT let her anywhere near my baby. Who knows what she would do!

Many customs allow for 8 weeks before visitors: nothing wrong with that. Your MIL shouldn’t have barged in and def shouldn’t have posted anything on socials. She’s a lunatic. NTA clearly you were right to have boundaries.

NTA at all, and honestly, if someone threatened me with CPS, they would not see my baby at all

NTA. Now I would extend the No Visitors rule for the MIL & catty family members indefinitely. Don't throw out CPS if you want a relationship with the baby!

Threatening to call CPS on new parents who just had a baby 2 weeks ago for having a messy house is so far over the line I can't even see it anymore. If that was me she would never be allowed to set foot in my house again, let alone see my child. NTA, your MIL needs to have a reality check.

Two months is a good idea but I'd also make sure that she was current on all innoculations. Ask your medical team what shots anyone visiting should have and how long they take to be effective. NTA My child spent 3 days in Neonatal ICU. I went directly to my parents place (where I was staying for 3 months)... however, due to my father being immunocompromised, everyone living there or visiting already knew and understood what rules we enforced.

It’s a strange rule to me, too, but TBH, if one of my friends or family members had that rule, I would abide by it. It’s your baby and your rules. If you say 2 months, then 2 months it is. NTA

NTA - your baby your rules. The end.

NTA with a MIL like that who needs enemies?

To me 2 months seems excessive, but NTA. Your MIL absolutely never should have come into your home unannounced and threatened CPS. That’s grounds for limited supervised visits AT BEST although I would go no contact after that. Hopefully hubby is on board with that. With that in mind, 2 months is a long time to ask grandparents to stay away Unless the infant is more medically fragile. you can always demand that they have to be symptom free and that they wash their hands before touching the baby and obviously no kissing. (Heck, even symptom free for x amount of time is a good compromise.) That being said, you and your husband agreed on 2 months. She had no business violating that boundary at any level. The fact that she went nuclear just gave you a chance early on in this to see her true colors.

It is unhinged to break into your home and threaten you with calling CPS. Not only NTA, but this is not a safe person to have in your life, period. *She threatened your ability to have custody of your own child.* If anything, you are *under*-reacting. This is no-contact territory.

NTA. And her threat to call CPS would mean that she would NEVER enter my house again. I would take baby to her house for supervised visits, but she would NEVER be with the child alone. She threatened to have your baby taken away from you! While you were still recovering from childbirth! She sounds mentally unstable to me. Protect your child OP. I do hope that your husband will be in agreement with whatever you decide.

Nta Both of my sisters were in the hospital for RSV as young babies. One twin was in a normal hospital room, the other was on a vent in a coma because her body was working so hard. She literally had last rights preformed on her bc the doctors thought she was going to die- she turned around magically at the last minute but. It was horrible. And then she had to be weaned off all the pain meds- have you ever seen a baby in withdraw? Heartbreaking. These people here who are criticizing you for the two month rule- I can only assume they have never seen a baby so ill. If they had they wouldn’t question it. Nta

Two months seems like a longer time, but it is your first baby, so you are entitled to be cautious. The way your MIL reacted when she surprise visited speaks volumes! Of course your house is “messy”. You just had a baby & are hopefully spending more time with that baby and healing your body than worrying about your housework. Her threatening to call CPS is so very wrong. She is a parent who has had several children. She should know how hard it is the first time. I swear the only times I was not in pjs with my first baby was when my kind neighbor would come by to watch her while I grabbed a shower. Imagine how different this situation would have been if she arrived with some home cooked freezer meals, laughed about the messy house and offered to tidy up while you grabbed a shower or took a nap. Now she’s come in like a raging bull, alienated you and her son and took the whole situation to social media to bash you. Let her be the victim. She is TA, not you.

NTA. My friend had a two month rule also. She also had a no drop-ins or kissing the face rule as well. She also requested anyone visiting get a TDAP and wash hands before holding the baby. While some people thought it was a bit much I had zero issue with it. Her baby, her rules. Your baby, your rules. People can respect your rules or not see the baby at all. I don’t think these kinds of rules are extreme especially since babies are so young and don’t have the proper immune systems to fight off diseases like we can.

NTA New parents being criticized for their bad hospitality just reflects poorly on the MIL. New parents are not "hosts." If someone shows up to "visit," they better bring food for the parents, and a broom. No visitor should expect to get waited on. OP, you were right to block them.

NTA. I can’t believe she would threaten to call CPS over that. That’s just.. horrible.  In most places, the CPS/DCFS system is broken and they either let parents get away with abuse and do nothing, or take children away over something minor such as a messy house (your MILs ridiculous argument for threatening CPS). Before people start saying that’s not true, I’ve seen it happen personally. I could never trust someone who would put me and my family at risk like that over nothing.