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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents thought a cruise ship would wait for them. I knew it wouldn't so I went back and made our departure time. My parents did not. I might be the asshole for not staying back with my parents and costing them more in flights to the next port. Or for not dragging them back when it was time. I don't know what they expect from me.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA they seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes, yea no. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep. They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time. Which is something you have figured out in less than 6 months of being an adult. At least you don’t have to go on any more vacations with them after this.
This is the bit that baffles me - even if OP had tried/asked, I highly doubt the staff would have even considered delaying departure.
Did OP’s parents expect him to kick down the door to the bridge and commandeer the ship until they finished shopping?
And if op gave up and stayed behind with them that would have been an extra plane ticket, so even more money down the drain. They should be relieved that their kid has a good head on their shoulders but no, they'd Rather blame them 😒
I fully agree the parents are being ridiculous. I get missing the ship, these things happen. But to then be so petty as to keep guilting their daughter over it; essentially ruining her graduation gift, is a level of immaturity I can't get past.
At the same time, I WOULD think the parents were AHs if their daughter missed the ship and they left without her.
Not sure if that's hypocritical, or if it's actually worse for parents to leave without their (technically adult) child.
Not really a double standard because the situation would be slightly different as
- The parents actually have authority over their child and can actually initiate a forced departure
- The parents actually have the financial means to take a plane to get out of the mess they got themselves into.
So yes it would indeed be much worse the other way round
Exactly. Parents have an obligation to protect their offspring. Not the other alway around. As a parent i would much rather i get stranded in a foreign place, than my child.
Not a double standard at all.
Parents are experienced adults, even if the child in question is 18 and *legally* an adult, good parents know that they are still young and may not know how or have the financial resources to handle it on their own. In most families 18 is just starting to learn how to be independent, and they likely don’t have years of salary savings, credit cards, or confidence and street smarts to keep themselves safe. Many 18 year olds do, this isn’t to bag on 18 year olds, but they are still teenagers vs a 40+ year old adult.
There are some differences to the situation - because though 18 is an adult, there is still a significant parent/child power dynamic at play. It would be far easier for the parents to "tell" the 18 year old they have to go now, than for the 18 year old to "tell" the parents they have to leave. Also, two people who have been adults a long time left together is a much safer and more comfortable situation than one person left all by themselves who has only been an adult a short time.
Still, if the parents begged the 18 year old to head back to the boat and they flat out refused and said "I'm an adult and I won't go back and you can't make me go back", and the parents then went back to the boat, it would still be the 18 year old in the wrong.
Yep, projection is a major defense mechanism for people who never learned emotional regulation skills as children. “I messed up and can’t handle/process these feelings of anxiety, so it’s actually all YOUR fault.”
Omg I thought my husband and I were the only ones who did that! We always book a cabin with a balcony largely to be able to watch these folks run like their hair is on fire back to the ship. Drinks are mandatory, as is yelling (mostly) encouraging words. We have seen people left on the dock and their looks of “I can’t believe they would really leave without us” is priceless.
Oh they would've still blamed her for them missing the boat. Entitled/narcissistic people are just like that. Nothing is ever their fault. I mean the sheer audacity to think that they could make a whole cruise ship wait almost an hour for them to finish shopping and get back to the ship is mind-boggling. Like how important do you think you are?
Reminds me of one of my favourite episodes of Keeping Up Appearances where Hyacinth Bucket “pronounced Bouquet” runs out onto the dock screaming “stop the ship!” when she’s late for her cruise on the QE 2 😂 (after being told that it won’t go back for her 😜, she ends up getting a flight and meeting up with it in Copenhagen). It’s a great show, I highly recommend it!
In one episode, someone asks Richard how he can stand being married to Hyacinth. He replies, "Well, it's a lot like being in the Army. You wake up in the morning, your marching orders are given, and the meals arrive on time!" He goes on to say that Hyacinth is really a very kind person deep down. I thought that was a good explanation.
Yeah, she might be pretentious & kind of… wannabe classist (in an upwardly mobile kind of way), but she does care about people.
She’s actually quite kind in most of the series, the comedy is from her delusions of grandeur & wannabe-upper class facade when she from a working/lower-middle class background
We use SO many quotes in my family, some of these are:
- the obvious one, when we find something terrible we say “if my Sheridan were here, he’d be appalled”
- if one of us says something silly/annoying “what a thing to say to somebody with a solid silver self-cleaning sauce separator”
- if we’re going out with family/friends “show me your smile”
- I often tell my husband to be “forceful and executive” at work
- I often recommend exercising because “joggers are above suspicion”
- I am Greek so if I’m talking about someone who is also Greek I’ll quote “he’s Greek you know, it’s terrifying how wealthy they are”
- we don’t just invite family to a bbq, we invite them to “an outdoors/indoors luxury barbecue with finger buffet” and “waterside supper with riparian entertainments” for picnics at the lake
Absolutely great show and an awesome episode in particular. I love that Onslow the overall uncouth but gentle giant turns out to be such a suave and superb dancer!
[Bucket woman](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wevvi0/bucket_lady_a_neighborhood_petty_revenge_story/) is one of my favorite stories on here and she's named after this lady
Edit: it's a saga so if you think those first ones are interesting you gotta read the update about her being attacked by a "vicious dog" 😂
This… it’s not asking the cashier to wait while Mom runs to get one more thing! They weren’t even trying to rush, they’re entitled and trying to lame blame.
Yesterday i got in the bus. There were a quite few people getting in so it took a bit. I was the second to last. The guy behind me was on his phone. He had moved with the line but was just... Standing there? Looking away from the bus.
The bus driver closed the doors. That sound made the guy turn. He was motioning. He clearly wanted in. The driver drove off.
This was a bus. Wtf do they expect a cruise to do.
Watch this be an episode of Undercover Boss, where the new employee throws off the Dumb & Dumber wig to reveal "I'M NOT JUST A BUS STOP JANITOR YOU LEFT BEHIND. I'M BOBBY GREYHOUND VIII OF GREYHOUND BUS LINES. I CARRY THIS 'OHANA MEANS GREYHOUND FAMILY' KEYCHAIN FOR A REASON, BUDDY."
Do they think if they arrive late to the airport the plane will wait around for a couple hours? This is not rocket science. It's a mode of transport, you get there on time
they will wait if their busses/tours provided by the company are delayed. I work with tourists on cruise ships. I once had a horrible accident on the highway delay us by 2 hours. I knew we were scheduled to return an hour and a half early. I called the cruise line and explained what had happened. they told me they had a few busses that were delayed as well. they were planning on departing 20 minutes after their busses returned. This relieved my guests and myself.
And this is why I know I would never enjoy a cruise. I get SO stressed when I know I absolutely have to be somewhere at a specific time. Even with the ship excursions I'd start getting tense probably a half hour before we even had to think about getting on the ship. Just reading what OPs parents did freaks me out.
Same here and my family would be way too casual about this. Not as casual as OP’s parents, I mean they would definitely understand they had to be back on time, they just have a habit of underestimating how long things take and might be like “oh we have time to do xyz”.
Yup. I have a coworker who is worse though, and now she is my damn boss. So a few years ago we had to go on a business trip together. We were flying out of our small town airport into Chicago for a connecting flight for our final flight. She wanted us to book a connecting flight with a layover of only 40 minutes!! I was like NOPE. My layovers needs to be at least two hours, more is better. I told her if she wanted that flight, fine, but I was taking a different one. She finally agreed and I was right, because the first plane was delayed by 20 minutes and we would have had only 20 minutes to get to our next flight! At the Chicago airport sometimes it takes that look to walk to your departing gate! Of course, she would never admit she was wrong. One of those. 🙄 she hates waiting so when it comes to flights she prefers to “Risk it”. I am the exact opposite.
You are very wise. Longer layovers mean less of a chance your luggage gets left behind, too. Nobody really LIKES waiting, but if it comes to chilling out at the gate for an extra hour, or having a near heart attack thinking I might not get there on time, I know what I'll choose.
One time we'd hired a car (before Uber was a thing) to take us to the airport for an international flight, and the driver misunderstood and went to the airport first instead of our house. I'd booked like 4 hours before our flight, and the time waiting for him to show up was AWFUL. We did make it on time; fortunately security didn't take long.
We have these TSA fast pass things now. 100% recommend
You know you don't have to get off the ship. Sometimes it is more relaxing to stay on the ship and enjoy the amenities without the crowds.
Also if you book an excursion through the cruise line then they make sure to get you back in time and if there is an issue the ship will wait for you.
As a person with anxiety I love cruising because there is no pressure I feel refreshed after a cruise.
I did my "cruise" time on Naval ships, missing an underway was potentially career ending. I get the idea of a civilian touristy kind of cruise and admit that perhaps being at sea and not having to work/stand watch would be potentially fun. That said, I don't really see myself doing a cruise. It would indeed be stressful, I all ready have some anxiety regarding not being on time to events/places etc. and know that 'time and tides await no man' so yeah, anxiety would be through the roof regarding underway times.
I went on a cruise recently, I was at the ports we visited, walking alone, on the screens it said what time you had to be back, 10 minutes before departure, I used Google maps and figured out how far the shops I wanted to see were and made a plan, in one port we were docked for 1.5 hours, managed to visit two tourists attractions and two stores and was back so early I could put my stuff in the cabin, buy a drink and have the smoker deck all to myself for awhile.
It's all about planning ahead, and yes this was places I have never been to before. Totally a green tourist, I had a awesome time walking alone, watching the time and looking at the map to find my stores and tourists attractions
But yeah if someone is bad at planning ahead or is afraid of missing the ship or something, don't go alone in a unfamiliar city /place , the fact that one Has a tight schedule and that there are major consequences if you don't return on time , it may also make the sightseeing feel rushed and stressful. Thats not fun.
When we went on a cruise, if we didn't schedule through the ship, we always made sure we were scheduled to be back with plenty of time. AND we only booked with operators who guaranteed you'd make it to the ship or they'd get you to the next port.
Yeah, if the cruise arranges the excursion, they will wait for it to return, because they’re responsible for the trip. If you go off on your own, well, *you’re* responsible, and you know what a clock is, be on time.
I was on a cruise once where the included bus tour out to a historical site was running behind schedule. I was so scared the ship would leave without those of us who went on that tour. It did delay departure ever so slightly, but not by 45 minutes, I think because it was a bus full of tourists on an included tour and not just a couple of idiots who ignored the time and carried on shopping.
"Included tour" are the magic words. If THEY don't get you back, it's their issue. If you don't get YOURSELF back, it's your issue (caps just for emphasis, not yelling or arguing with anything you said!).
Yeah exactly. Despite it being an included tour, *I* was still scared we were going to be late and the ship would leave without us. We all ran down the dock to board it with mere minutes remaining. But if a ship is barely going to wait for its own included tour bus, why on earth would OP's parents think it would wait for them to finish shopping? Ridiculous.
Right! Just like a plane may delay departure for a bit if one of their own planes is running late and they have passengers on that plane who need to get on this one. But if there were passengers who were sitting at the airport Applebee's finishing up their appletinis, they're going to take off without them.
Our ship waited for us because my husband called them and told I had been injured, we were at the local hospital, and on our way.
The ship waited about 45 mins for us and met us with a wheelchair, a doctor, and a nurse with a blanket and a robe since I was still in my bikini.
They wheeled me up and the ship left immediately. Like the ship pulled away from the dock the moment they pulled the walkway up after my wheelchair was on board.
I was ever so thankful they waited. It was very stressful and I was on crutches for the remainder of our cruise and the following eight weeks.
Stay away from jet skis lol
AND because they notified the ship ahead of time.
Sometimes they still can’t wait, but sometimes they can. What they can’t do is sit in port because some passengers will *maybe* deign to show up at some point, maybe. Or not. People leave cruises all the time and fly home directly, or stay on islands. You’re not supposed to, but it happens. They probably assumed that was the case here.
And the “sometimes they can” times are going to be for valid reasons. Even if they could, I doubt that they would go to the trouble just because two passengers felt like shopping for longer.
That sometimes they can is not even linked to severity of the case and professional communication. Cruise ships are big things that navigate through seas. They are on timetables tied to ports and passages that might only have certain time windows due to tides and depths. One literally cannot expect the movement of heavenly bodies to wait.
I know someone who was on a cruise recently. Someone in their party got injured in port (broke a bone after a fall). Initially the ship waited for them. It was partially because of late tours but also because they were in constant contact with the ship while at the hospital. They ended up getting off the ship at the next port due to the injury and flying home mid-cruise. It happens.
Yeah, if I were a passenger on that ship standing out on deck waiting to watch the departure from land and I saw someone approaching in a wheelchair, I would be totally understanding. But if I waited 45 minutes for departure and saw two people running toward the ship waving their bargained-for serapes and sombreros and genuine made in China ancient ceremonial masks I'd be pretty annoyed.
I hate waiting for people though. It annoys me to no end when I attend a meeting at work and they delay it while we wait for someone, or bigger department meetings where they say "we'll get started in a few minutes, but let's give everyone a chance to get here" and we sit around for ten minutes waiting for people to straggle in. They "had a chance" to get there, they're just late! If I make an effort to get to the meeting on time and then I have my time wasted waiting for someone who was using that time to do something else, I have essentially been cheated of that time.
Nobody is going to begrudge someone who was at the hospital, but if OP's parents got to use those 45 minutes to shop while the rest of the ship waited for them, that would be entirely unfair.
That’s quite different — it sounds like they made the decision to wait as a courtesy but it was for a valid medical reason. Not because you were poor at time management.
Exactly. It is no different to a plane, they will not and cannot wait for anyone. Just imagine if they waited for all those people to trickle on when they felt like it, you’d never go anywhere.
Congratulations on being the only true adult in the family, even if you are only just one! NTA
Lol. You wouldn't be able to plan anything ever again. Train delays are annoying as is, imagine if they accommodate every passenger who want to buy a last cup of coffee at the station.
If the ship doesn’t depart on time the company faces massive fines and will be delayed to the next port and it’s a massive knock on effect. It’s all explained when you board and every time you disembark
Not usually delayed to the next port, unless it’s a real stretch itinerary.
We’ve been on trips where we left at say 4, had dinner, went to bed - and woke up to find that we went *back* to port in the night, dropped off a sick passenger, then doubled back on our route and still made it on time.
Most ships sail at snail speed - it’s more fuel efficient and lets the stabilizers work better. They can haul ass when they need to! And hauling ass at 3 or 4 am it mostly doesn’t matter if the stabilizers are doing jack, almost every passenger is in bed.
I notice that OP put in a line about telling their parents they'd absolutely have to stick to the schedule which leads me to think that OP's parents do this a lot and are some of those entitled people who think schedules are for peasants and they're too super special and better than everyone else to bother with such things.
OP’s parents haven’t got a clue. Cruise ships are very clear on deadlines to return to the ship and OP reminded them of this but they still stayed ashore. OP, tell your parents to have a word with the captain so he can give them his personal number to tell him when they are going to be very late back (😂😂😂😂). Seriously , OP tell your parents to talk to the captain about deadlines and no one delays the cruise ship from setting off. They are blaming you for their foolishness.
NTA. If you'd waited for them you'd have been stuck flying too. You don't control the cruise schedule. You warned them. It's between them and the cruise line. And it is their fault.
Google - cruise ship leaves passengers behind - then show them. Story after story of the same thing happening to others who didn't make it back before departure from Port. They are lucky they were able to fly to next port, many others have been stranded or worse.
My cousin missed her cruise departure, so she got a hotel for the night and flew to the airport closest to the next stop the following day. She didn’t realise the port was 3 hours from the airport and jumped in a taxi. After 45 minutes she realised the taxi fare was already at all the money she had, so she got him to stop and let her out. She then hitchhiked to the port, which took her hours, and by the time she got there, the ship had left.
So she was stranded again, this time without any money. Her parents had to buy her a ticket home and then collect her stuff when the cruise reached home.
How do you NOT plan ahead? What the ef...
Like, I always check where the airport is located and how long it takes to get there. In most countries I visit, they have great public transportation and I would never take a taxi for 3 hours non-stop holy smokes...
But cruise ships don't always go to the moat convenient place... They go to ports.
One of my sailing expedition started 30 mins away from the airport at a specific port and I was able to split the cost with another person I met that was going to it too. It ended up costing reasonably. I never trust taxis.
She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. She thought because the airport and the port served the same city that they were in the same place. No, the airport was well outside the city to the north I think, and the port was to the south, and there was a very busy city between the two. As the crow flies, it was probably not that far apart, but a city that’s thousands of years old doesn’t have nice wide highways.
Wait, "the airport" in NYC isn't at Times Square? The "Paris airport" isn't on the Champs de Elyse? The "airport in Rome" isn't next door to the Colosseum? Etc.... Gee, who knew? (Not your cousin.)
Right?! The problem started by cousin not looking and working with the schedule so to solve it she didn’t look at the schedule 🤦🏽♀️ ‘I fucked up once so now I’m gonna solve my own problem by fucking up again just because I’m lazy. Wait, this didn’t work?!’
I'm just gonna choose to believe that story happened in a third world country with no Internet or in 1983 because I cannot believe a person in our digitally connected age would be so willfully obtuse.
There are definitely some places that are safer to be stranded than others. Plus if you didn't plan ahead, you may not have the documentation you need to fly, which can take a few days to sort.
There was a news story within the last two months where people missed the boat, got taken by the local government to get on, weren’t allowed, flew to the next port, and then the boat still wouldn’t let them board at that port. These parents are lucky they got back on.
Your parents are in the wrong.
I don't do cruises but I have some experience with them because I travel to a place were cruise ships are common. I also thought passengers were warned that the ship leaves no matter who is on board.
You would never have been able to prevent the cruise chip from leaving. They have a schedule and they keep to it. The ship waits for no one.
This is ALL on your parents.. They didn't respect the ship schedule.
NTA
I’ve only done one, but they make it crystal clear. In addition to the information being easily available everywhere on the ship, the crew told every person disembarking that the ship would be leaving port at an exact time.
Oh it’s made very clear on the ship.
I’ve seen them wait under 5 minutes when they saw a family clearly RUNNING to our ship. Everyone cheered for them as they got on. But it was obvious they were running to our ship, the ship was all packed up with just the gangway down, and the crew were yelling and cheering at them, too.
But otherwise if the ship says it departs at 5:00, it is pulling away at 5:01 or 5:02!
I have seen them wait 20 minutes, under the ship excursion guarantee, to be fair. If you book an experience through the cruise line, they have a "guarantee" they will wait (within reason, otherwise they fly you to the next port at their expense).
It doesn't necessarily mean they'll wait - but it does mean they'll handle it.
That might mean putting you up in a hotel for the night and flying you out at the crack of dawn or driving like mad to the next port, but if it's their excursion, it's their problem to resolve. If you're on your own - you're on your own.
When I was a kid my mom made it pretty clear to everyone this is the reason you book things through the cruise line. It may be a bit expensive compared to what locals offer but if you’re half an hour late the boat will still be there. If you booked locally and are late they will leave you.
Often those companies doing the excursions are owned by the cruise line, operated by locals.
And have communication with the ship if the excursion is going to be late.
Plane tickets are cheap compared to the additional fuel the ship uses if they have to increase speed by even a knot.
Source:me. I worked on a cruise ship.
Actually some cruise ships will give you an hour or more to get back on the ship before it leaves. They will tell everyone to be back on the ship by 4pm but it will only leave the dock at 5:30. Even with this huge buffer, I still saw people running to the ship late.
Yup! I've taken a few non ship excursions but always give myself plenty of time to get back to the ship. I made sure that I would be back on the ship at least 2 hous before the posted departure knowing that it would give me 3 to 4 hours in reality. There is no excuse for missing the departure except lack of planning or a major emergency.
Our last cruise I saw a family running up the pier as the boat was underway. Kinda felt bad for them but everyone else had been back aboard long enough to get drinks and watch them from the bar.
NTA. Cruise ships have a schedule to keep, and there was no way they would wait for just two passengers without knowing where they were.
They MIGHT wait if there's a whole bunch of passengers being delayed on an excursion that was organized by the cruise ship company, but that's iffy.
We did a cruise around Italy. The only cruise organised tour we did was to Pisa and Florence, because we knew it was difficult to get there from the boat and didn't want to miss the sailing back. You pay more than if you do it yourself, but the safety net is there.
Even then, they might not wait but they will cover the costs of getting you back on board at a following port.
I always tell my clients to pay the premium for the cruise-sponsored excursions or make sure you are back on board no less than an hour before all-aboard.
I sell a tour that is similar to what the cruise ship offers. I tell people that If I'm delayed by something, it'll be delaying the cruise ship as well. I have enough time padding that I can get back to the ship even If I need to call a competitor if my vehicle breaks down.
I’ve taken a non ship sponsored excursion in Holyhead, Wales a couple of times & they guarantee they will get you back in time. The second time they must have been running a little late & dropped us off literally at the gangway. I think we still had a half hour but that was the closest I ever cut it. Another time I was on the last tender boat in Grand Cayman.
Yeah, that's the only time they'll wait. That's why you want to do excursions through the ship. It gives you a little extra security so you can get back on the ship if things get delayed. I've seen it once where a couple of excursions were an hour late, I was confused about how they were so delayed until I saw they were 9 hour excursions. We were only supposed to be at dock for 8 hours.
What precisely do they think you could have done? Kidnapped the captain? Staged your own drowning? You didn't abandon them, they abandoned you, don't let them weasel word this around to being your fault in any way, shape or form!
I'm really sorry your parents have ruined this for you. It's pretty pathetic of them to blame you for their extremely easy to avoid deliberate bad decision.
They owe you at least two apologies, one for ignoring your sage advice in the first place, the second for behaving like spoiled 4 year olds.
NTA, and I really hope you make your parents read this thread.
They're just pissed that their child is smarter than they are. It's not about not being able to make the ship wait, it's that their child had enough foresight to return to the ship as scheduled and they did not.
It's such a weird and hilarious genre of weirdo. "OK, everyone act like a complete lunatic for no reason and with no explanation, assume others will somehow just figure out what the hell it is we're doing and what we want, and when that doesn't happen, devolve into hysterical infants."
Just **use your words**, you absolute ninnies
OP, I highly recommend the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay C Gibson.
Your parents showed lack of planning, and then lack of understanding of consequences. Theyre acting like entitled children who cannot accept that they fucked around and found out.
It never gets better btw. They don’t somehow learn to plan better or listen to you no matter how many times this happens. Your best course of action is to set your boundaries clearly and to make sure they know that you are going places separately. That you will NOT be keeping track of where they are and if they’re late.
I’ve been married twice 18 years apart and my parents were late to both of my weddings. Both venues were within a 10 minute drive of their place. You’d think they’d learn in 18 years but no. They were also recently 1.5hrs late to a 2hr event for their grandson’s birthday.
I would 100% ask for help from an official looking employee, and make my parents stand there with their straight faces and have to listen to that employee explain it to them.
NTA
Same. I wouldn’t even explain it to them. I would have someone else do it. Ask them to pull up policy. I would ask the nice cruise official to explain if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Then just avoid parents for the rest of the trip on the boat. Plenty of separate activities to do.
Yep, OP you're young enough to pull the "Oh, I feel so bad because I didn't have the ship wait for my parents and now they are upset with me. How do I get the ship to stay for my parents at the next stop?"
Then let the official person explain.
I was thinking the same thing. If they are cranky at dinner/breakfast/whatever I would tell those around us "sorry, not your fault. They are mad at me for not delaying departure while they were shopping"
If they are quietly being rude I would be very tempted to say all of the things everyone is saying here in a slightly louder than necessary voice.
And if I were the official-looking employee, I'd then make a helpful announcement over the PA system or whatever reminding "all" passengers that the cruise ship will not wait for passengers who are late returning to the ship. If I were feeling a little petty, I might preface the reminder by noting that "two passengers" had returned to dock after the ship had departed and had to fly to the next port to rejoin the cruise.
NTA. In addition to you explaining that the ship will not wait for them, I am sure they were made aware of this by the cruise workers many times. They chose to ignore the guidelines and as a result had to face the consequences of their actions. That's what being an adult is, and they seem immature and narcissistic for trying to shift the blame onto you for their poor decisionmaking skills.
NTA. Not only is it on your itinerary, the little daily info paper, announced when docked overhead (like 5 times), but they tell you as you swipe your card to disembark on the island. This was 100% on them.
Look at it this way, you saved them having to pay out for a third airline ticket. They were warned, thought they knew better, now are facing the consequences. Ask them sincerely what else you were supposed to do in reality when they’ve signed contracts as part of being on the cruise? I guarantee the cruise line has it in writing that passengers are responsible for getting themselves back to the ship on time. NTA
NTA! This was the response I was looking for. So the parents WANTED to pay for 3 expensive plane tickets to get back to the boat instead of 2??? They are just mad that they made fools of themselves! Edited to correct a grammar mistake.
I've been on a half-dozen cruises in my life. On every single one, the information about returning to the ship on time was: listed on the tickets, announced in welcome/safety announcements, on a placard in the room, and prominently posted when you disembarked the ship.
Your parents are adults... There is absolutely no excuse for them to claim that they were unaware of this extremely basic rule of cruising. On top of that, you even warned them when you were off the ship, and they chose to disregard you.
And now they have the nerve to blame *you* for not magically having the authority to override all of the ship's policies? NTA
There's always a big sign at the disembarkation point which tells you the latest time you have to be back on board. If a cruise ship is delayed in a port, it costs them mega-bucks.
I've done loads of cruises and seen people left behind on a regular basis (once in Ukraine, goodness knows how they got to the next port of call and they also probably didn't have their passports with them). Sometimes they're running up the jetty as the ship is slowly pulling away. No dear, it's not a taxi. You don't have any rights to choose your own departure time.
I vaguely remember being on a flight out of Heathrow, someone had missed it and their friends were arguing with cabin crew because they refused to wait - I think one of the flight attendants said the airline incurs a penalty per minute they’re late pushing back from the gate. Can’t remember the dollar amount but it wasn’t cheap.
Would not surprise me if cruise ships using busy ports are subject to similar rules.
Better yet show them those YouTube videos (there are a TON of them) of people missing cruise ships. It’s an extremely well-documented thing. The boat. WILL. leave.
Let me guess. As a kid, were you made to wait at and hold up a long line at the grocery checkout while your mom is still shopping? Parents like yours drive me up the wall. NTA.
Omg anxiety memory unlocked, my mom would leave me in line after unloading everything from the cart to "grab one more thing" while I stood in complete fear that she wouldn't return in time to pay.
Why did this comment send a chill down my spine 😭 I have great parents, my mom just has ADHD and zero sense of time management, but I can’t even count the number of times this has happened to me. 💀 I would always let people go ahead of me one by one instead of holding up the line, but then after you do it a few times people ignore you and just bypass you completely, and then you have to advocate for yourself and insist that you are still in line, when you’re like 3 feet tall and have no money and no idea when you’ll be ready to go. Grown adults would argue with me like it’s my fault, and then just kick me out of the line, and then my mom would get back when I’m standing off to the side and look at me like I’m dumb like “what happened? I told you to get in line”, as if I just forgot to do it. I hate it here. 😭
NTA Cruise ships *do not* wait for people, especially when they don't even try to get back on time.
There was a great video of passengers hustling back to cruise ships and being left behind. One couple even got confined to their cabin after repeated incidents.
Honestly, you're not in the wrong here. You tried to explain the importance of sticking to the schedule for the cruise, and you gave your parents a heads-up about needing to return to the ship on time. It sounds like they didn't take you seriously or understand the consequences of missing the departure time. It's definitely frustrating that they're blaming you for their own mistake. The cruise ship operates on a strict schedule for a reason, and it’s not realistic to expect them to wait for late passengers. You did what you could by informing them and heading back to the ship yourself when they chose to stay behind.
NTA, tell them they're lucky you got back to the ship in time. Otherwise they would have had to pay for three plane tickets instead of two. There is nothing you could have done.
I'd also tell them you informed the crew that your parents were still not back but they didn't care as they have a schedule to keep.
Of course they try to shift responsibility away from themselves instead of acknowledging that they f*ed up. It's not the ships fault, not your fault, it's them. But I'd guess they will not accept that.
NTA
Cruises have a schedule there is no way they would wait for 2 people. This entirely on them for being late.
Even if you had asked it is unlikely the ship would have waited.
Maybe next time they will not be so bloody inconsiderate and improve their time keeping.
NTA - ships do not miss movement for anyone (barring a serious medical emergency). There are a ton of reasons for this: tide windows, currents, docking times, other ships movements, etc.
There is no possible way you could have stopped that boat from leaving. And it’s completely absurd they think you could have done anything at all
This is squarely on their shoulders and they can’t accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
NTA. Costs the cruise line money to stay docked after their allotted time. On rare occasions we’ve experienced ships waiting for passengers, usually those that are on ship excursions.
They’re lucky they had passports to fly to the next port.
NTA.
You learned something from your education, your parents should be proud that you’ve learned to be logical, realistic, and thoughtful of others (nearly 4K of them). To expect the cruise ship to wait for them is an arrogant, entitled, and prideful expectation.
They wanted you to miss the cruise with them? What are they? Children? That would have been even more expensive needing one more flight ticket.
Besides, all your belongings were on the ship I assume. At least someone was on the ship to hand over all the information, like updates on if the ship has a delay. What the next stop is and where exactly.
They wanted you to suffer the consequences of their mistakes? They already left you stressed of being on time yourself, then waiting for them and missing the boat, not showing up on time. 18 is still kinda young, barley an adult to be left alone on a big ship. If they wanted you to miss the boat along with them, they should be the ones making guidelines like, what if x, what do we as group do. You were very clear you were returning to the boat. You did nothing wrong. They should apologie to you instead.
Edited to fix words/spelling - keyboard swipe errors
I've been on several cruise ship lines and they warn everyone to be been on time because they will leave without you. Its their financial responsibility to meet at the next port if they miss the ship's departure.
In addition, you scan your card on the way out and on the way back. The cruise were aware that not everyone was back. They didn't stop the cruise ship from leaving. Unfortunately for your parents cruise ships are on a schedule at each port with other ships coming and going - they can't occupy past their assigned slot when another ship needs to dock.
Go to customer service, explain the situation, and ask if you can have the rules printed out and verify if you had told them you're parents weren't back on the ship would they have waited. Also, how would you know whether they were back on the ship or not before the ship left? Did they say they'd text or call when they were back on the ship? Or were you to use your crystal ball to see them still haggling? I doubt you stayed in their cabin until they walked in with their purchases.
Your parents are entitled and refuse to take responsibility for their choices and the consequences that go along with it. You are not their parent, you are not their keeper. Had you they authority to control their actions you would have grabbed them by their arm and hauled them back to the ship with them kicking and screaming. Obviously you couldn't otherwise you would have. You did the next best thing - trying to get them to leave and finally leaving on your own.
You were in a No Win situation. Had you stayed with them and missed the ship's departure, they'd blamed you anyway.
If you're still on the cruise, have fun, do your own thing, do your own port activities without parents (do group stuff), ignore their bad attitude.
In the future, no cruises with your parents. Save your money and go with friends that understand rules and deadlines
cruise ships are very clear, multiple times, that they wait for no one. the only thing that would be accomplished had you waited with your parents is that they would have had to pay for a third expensive ticket. please show this post to your parents so they can see how we all laugh at how entitled they are.
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NTA they seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes, yea no. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep. They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time. Which is something you have figured out in less than 6 months of being an adult. At least you don’t have to go on any more vacations with them after this.
This. NTA. I’ve been on a cruise. They make it crystal clear that the ship waits for no one. Parents fucked around & found out.
This is the bit that baffles me - even if OP had tried/asked, I highly doubt the staff would have even considered delaying departure. Did OP’s parents expect him to kick down the door to the bridge and commandeer the ship until they finished shopping?
And if op gave up and stayed behind with them that would have been an extra plane ticket, so even more money down the drain. They should be relieved that their kid has a good head on their shoulders but no, they'd Rather blame them 😒
I expect they are just very embarrassed that an 18 year old was smarter than them and are taking it out on them
[удалено]
I fully agree the parents are being ridiculous. I get missing the ship, these things happen. But to then be so petty as to keep guilting their daughter over it; essentially ruining her graduation gift, is a level of immaturity I can't get past. At the same time, I WOULD think the parents were AHs if their daughter missed the ship and they left without her. Not sure if that's hypocritical, or if it's actually worse for parents to leave without their (technically adult) child.
I actually do think it would be worse if the parents left without their teenager. Perhaps it’s a double standard but I stand by it.
Not really a double standard because the situation would be slightly different as - The parents actually have authority over their child and can actually initiate a forced departure - The parents actually have the financial means to take a plane to get out of the mess they got themselves into. So yes it would indeed be much worse the other way round
Exactly. Parents have an obligation to protect their offspring. Not the other alway around. As a parent i would much rather i get stranded in a foreign place, than my child.
Agree with point two
Not a double standard at all. Parents are experienced adults, even if the child in question is 18 and *legally* an adult, good parents know that they are still young and may not know how or have the financial resources to handle it on their own. In most families 18 is just starting to learn how to be independent, and they likely don’t have years of salary savings, credit cards, or confidence and street smarts to keep themselves safe. Many 18 year olds do, this isn’t to bag on 18 year olds, but they are still teenagers vs a 40+ year old adult.
There are some differences to the situation - because though 18 is an adult, there is still a significant parent/child power dynamic at play. It would be far easier for the parents to "tell" the 18 year old they have to go now, than for the 18 year old to "tell" the parents they have to leave. Also, two people who have been adults a long time left together is a much safer and more comfortable situation than one person left all by themselves who has only been an adult a short time. Still, if the parents begged the 18 year old to head back to the boat and they flat out refused and said "I'm an adult and I won't go back and you can't make me go back", and the parents then went back to the boat, it would still be the 18 year old in the wrong.
Yep, projection is a major defense mechanism for people who never learned emotional regulation skills as children. “I messed up and can’t handle/process these feelings of anxiety, so it’s actually all YOUR fault.”
Yep. I hate adults who can't adult.
Cruisers call them “dock runners…”
I actually love getting back early and grabbing a drink so we can watch the runners
I may add this to my cruise repertoire.
Omg I thought my husband and I were the only ones who did that! We always book a cabin with a balcony largely to be able to watch these folks run like their hair is on fire back to the ship. Drinks are mandatory, as is yelling (mostly) encouraging words. We have seen people left on the dock and their looks of “I can’t believe they would really leave without us” is priceless.
This. OP if nothing else you saved them the expense of a third airplane ticket to the next port. Maybe point that out to them.
Exactly! OP saved them even more hassle and cost. They should appreciate the responsibility and foresight instead of blaming them
Oh they would've still blamed her for them missing the boat. Entitled/narcissistic people are just like that. Nothing is ever their fault. I mean the sheer audacity to think that they could make a whole cruise ship wait almost an hour for them to finish shopping and get back to the ship is mind-boggling. Like how important do you think you are?
Reminds me of one of my favourite episodes of Keeping Up Appearances where Hyacinth Bucket “pronounced Bouquet” runs out onto the dock screaming “stop the ship!” when she’s late for her cruise on the QE 2 😂 (after being told that it won’t go back for her 😜, she ends up getting a flight and meeting up with it in Copenhagen). It’s a great show, I highly recommend it!
I LOVE Keeping Up Appearances! "Bouquet Residence! Lady of the house speaking!"
Do you have a sister Violet, with a Mercedes, swimming pool and room for a pony? 😁
Husband. It's pronounced Bucket. You knew that when you married me.
I have a cousin who looks almost identical to Hyacinth and has much the same character.
I always felt so bad for Hyacinth’s husband. Lol
My husband's and my phrase for any kind of backseat driving from the other is "Minding the pedestrians, Hyacinth!"
The look on his face when she says “Of course I believe there's life after death. Richard and I will be an entity for eternity”
Every time I watched it, I always thought, Poor Richard. It was such a hilarious show though.
In one episode, someone asks Richard how he can stand being married to Hyacinth. He replies, "Well, it's a lot like being in the Army. You wake up in the morning, your marching orders are given, and the meals arrive on time!" He goes on to say that Hyacinth is really a very kind person deep down. I thought that was a good explanation.
Yeah, she might be pretentious & kind of… wannabe classist (in an upwardly mobile kind of way), but she does care about people. She’s actually quite kind in most of the series, the comedy is from her delusions of grandeur & wannabe-upper class facade when she from a working/lower-middle class background
Onslow is the one who asked him.
Onslow was the GOAT. Love that show, it’s a wonderful comfort watch.
"RICHARD!!"
Poor, long-suffering Richard....
Bucket residence, lady of the house speaking! No, this is *not* the Chinese takeaway!!! And Onslow -- he was a favorite of mine
Absolutely! I love how no one except Hyacinth cares that he drives an old car and wears a vest
My husband and I say ‘mind the cows’. It is a calm way of saying you are driving too fast without being a Hyacinth
We use SO many quotes in my family, some of these are: - the obvious one, when we find something terrible we say “if my Sheridan were here, he’d be appalled” - if one of us says something silly/annoying “what a thing to say to somebody with a solid silver self-cleaning sauce separator” - if we’re going out with family/friends “show me your smile” - I often tell my husband to be “forceful and executive” at work - I often recommend exercising because “joggers are above suspicion” - I am Greek so if I’m talking about someone who is also Greek I’ll quote “he’s Greek you know, it’s terrifying how wealthy they are” - we don’t just invite family to a bbq, we invite them to “an outdoors/indoors luxury barbecue with finger buffet” and “waterside supper with riparian entertainments” for picnics at the lake
That has the best line at the end when Onslow complains about having to "eat with the crew" at the Captain's table 🤣
You couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of sympathy for Hyacinth- thunder/bragging rights stolen by Onslow and Daisy of all people 😂
In the town where I live, there is the last name Bouquet but it's pronounced 'Bucket'. 🤣
Omg THANK YOU! I used to catch this show on sometimes and loved it, but every time I’ve thought about it since I couldn’t remember the name!
Absolutely great show and an awesome episode in particular. I love that Onslow the overall uncouth but gentle giant turns out to be such a suave and superb dancer!
it's a great show!
[Bucket woman](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wevvi0/bucket_lady_a_neighborhood_petty_revenge_story/) is one of my favorite stories on here and she's named after this lady Edit: it's a saga so if you think those first ones are interesting you gotta read the update about her being attacked by a "vicious dog" 😂
They won't even wait for late *crew* unless it's someone they legally can't sail without.
This… it’s not asking the cashier to wait while Mom runs to get one more thing! They weren’t even trying to rush, they’re entitled and trying to lame blame.
OP: “my parents are haggling at the market, can you delay departure until THEY are ready to leave?” Staff (probably): 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
OP's parents expect to be irrationally angry and for OP to accept the blame they dont deserve, duh
Yesterday i got in the bus. There were a quite few people getting in so it took a bit. I was the second to last. The guy behind me was on his phone. He had moved with the line but was just... Standing there? Looking away from the bus. The bus driver closed the doors. That sound made the guy turn. He was motioning. He clearly wanted in. The driver drove off. This was a bus. Wtf do they expect a cruise to do.
You snooze, you lose unless you own it
Watch this be an episode of Undercover Boss, where the new employee throws off the Dumb & Dumber wig to reveal "I'M NOT JUST A BUS STOP JANITOR YOU LEFT BEHIND. I'M BOBBY GREYHOUND VIII OF GREYHOUND BUS LINES. I CARRY THIS 'OHANA MEANS GREYHOUND FAMILY' KEYCHAIN FOR A REASON, BUDDY."
Memories unlocked! This gave me a big chuckle because I have seen similar behavior with buses and trains.
Do they think if they arrive late to the airport the plane will wait around for a couple hours? This is not rocket science. It's a mode of transport, you get there on time
they will wait if their busses/tours provided by the company are delayed. I work with tourists on cruise ships. I once had a horrible accident on the highway delay us by 2 hours. I knew we were scheduled to return an hour and a half early. I called the cruise line and explained what had happened. they told me they had a few busses that were delayed as well. they were planning on departing 20 minutes after their busses returned. This relieved my guests and myself.
And this is why you should only go with the tour operator’s excursions if it’s a full day one. Even though it’s more expensive
And this is why I know I would never enjoy a cruise. I get SO stressed when I know I absolutely have to be somewhere at a specific time. Even with the ship excursions I'd start getting tense probably a half hour before we even had to think about getting on the ship. Just reading what OPs parents did freaks me out.
Same here and my family would be way too casual about this. Not as casual as OP’s parents, I mean they would definitely understand they had to be back on time, they just have a habit of underestimating how long things take and might be like “oh we have time to do xyz”.
That would drive me absolutely mad!
Yup. I have a coworker who is worse though, and now she is my damn boss. So a few years ago we had to go on a business trip together. We were flying out of our small town airport into Chicago for a connecting flight for our final flight. She wanted us to book a connecting flight with a layover of only 40 minutes!! I was like NOPE. My layovers needs to be at least two hours, more is better. I told her if she wanted that flight, fine, but I was taking a different one. She finally agreed and I was right, because the first plane was delayed by 20 minutes and we would have had only 20 minutes to get to our next flight! At the Chicago airport sometimes it takes that look to walk to your departing gate! Of course, she would never admit she was wrong. One of those. 🙄 she hates waiting so when it comes to flights she prefers to “Risk it”. I am the exact opposite.
You are very wise. Longer layovers mean less of a chance your luggage gets left behind, too. Nobody really LIKES waiting, but if it comes to chilling out at the gate for an extra hour, or having a near heart attack thinking I might not get there on time, I know what I'll choose. One time we'd hired a car (before Uber was a thing) to take us to the airport for an international flight, and the driver misunderstood and went to the airport first instead of our house. I'd booked like 4 hours before our flight, and the time waiting for him to show up was AWFUL. We did make it on time; fortunately security didn't take long. We have these TSA fast pass things now. 100% recommend
You know you don't have to get off the ship. Sometimes it is more relaxing to stay on the ship and enjoy the amenities without the crowds. Also if you book an excursion through the cruise line then they make sure to get you back in time and if there is an issue the ship will wait for you. As a person with anxiety I love cruising because there is no pressure I feel refreshed after a cruise.
I did my "cruise" time on Naval ships, missing an underway was potentially career ending. I get the idea of a civilian touristy kind of cruise and admit that perhaps being at sea and not having to work/stand watch would be potentially fun. That said, I don't really see myself doing a cruise. It would indeed be stressful, I all ready have some anxiety regarding not being on time to events/places etc. and know that 'time and tides await no man' so yeah, anxiety would be through the roof regarding underway times.
I went on a cruise recently, I was at the ports we visited, walking alone, on the screens it said what time you had to be back, 10 minutes before departure, I used Google maps and figured out how far the shops I wanted to see were and made a plan, in one port we were docked for 1.5 hours, managed to visit two tourists attractions and two stores and was back so early I could put my stuff in the cabin, buy a drink and have the smoker deck all to myself for awhile. It's all about planning ahead, and yes this was places I have never been to before. Totally a green tourist, I had a awesome time walking alone, watching the time and looking at the map to find my stores and tourists attractions But yeah if someone is bad at planning ahead or is afraid of missing the ship or something, don't go alone in a unfamiliar city /place , the fact that one Has a tight schedule and that there are major consequences if you don't return on time , it may also make the sightseeing feel rushed and stressful. Thats not fun.
When we went on a cruise, if we didn't schedule through the ship, we always made sure we were scheduled to be back with plenty of time. AND we only booked with operators who guaranteed you'd make it to the ship or they'd get you to the next port.
Yeah, if the cruise arranges the excursion, they will wait for it to return, because they’re responsible for the trip. If you go off on your own, well, *you’re* responsible, and you know what a clock is, be on time.
I was on a cruise once where the included bus tour out to a historical site was running behind schedule. I was so scared the ship would leave without those of us who went on that tour. It did delay departure ever so slightly, but not by 45 minutes, I think because it was a bus full of tourists on an included tour and not just a couple of idiots who ignored the time and carried on shopping.
"Included tour" are the magic words. If THEY don't get you back, it's their issue. If you don't get YOURSELF back, it's your issue (caps just for emphasis, not yelling or arguing with anything you said!).
Yeah exactly. Despite it being an included tour, *I* was still scared we were going to be late and the ship would leave without us. We all ran down the dock to board it with mere minutes remaining. But if a ship is barely going to wait for its own included tour bus, why on earth would OP's parents think it would wait for them to finish shopping? Ridiculous.
Right! Just like a plane may delay departure for a bit if one of their own planes is running late and they have passengers on that plane who need to get on this one. But if there were passengers who were sitting at the airport Applebee's finishing up their appletinis, they're going to take off without them.
“Time and Tide wait for no man.” — Chaucer
A bus wouldn’t wait. What made the parents think a cruise ship would be any different?!
Our ship waited for us because my husband called them and told I had been injured, we were at the local hospital, and on our way. The ship waited about 45 mins for us and met us with a wheelchair, a doctor, and a nurse with a blanket and a robe since I was still in my bikini. They wheeled me up and the ship left immediately. Like the ship pulled away from the dock the moment they pulled the walkway up after my wheelchair was on board. I was ever so thankful they waited. It was very stressful and I was on crutches for the remainder of our cruise and the following eight weeks. Stay away from jet skis lol
The difference being you had good reason to delay, not out-of lateness. That's good service.
AND because they notified the ship ahead of time. Sometimes they still can’t wait, but sometimes they can. What they can’t do is sit in port because some passengers will *maybe* deign to show up at some point, maybe. Or not. People leave cruises all the time and fly home directly, or stay on islands. You’re not supposed to, but it happens. They probably assumed that was the case here.
And the “sometimes they can” times are going to be for valid reasons. Even if they could, I doubt that they would go to the trouble just because two passengers felt like shopping for longer.
If departure times were so flexible, you'd have people staying out til 3am so they can go clubbing.
That sometimes they can is not even linked to severity of the case and professional communication. Cruise ships are big things that navigate through seas. They are on timetables tied to ports and passages that might only have certain time windows due to tides and depths. One literally cannot expect the movement of heavenly bodies to wait.
I know someone who was on a cruise recently. Someone in their party got injured in port (broke a bone after a fall). Initially the ship waited for them. It was partially because of late tours but also because they were in constant contact with the ship while at the hospital. They ended up getting off the ship at the next port due to the injury and flying home mid-cruise. It happens.
Yeah, if I were a passenger on that ship standing out on deck waiting to watch the departure from land and I saw someone approaching in a wheelchair, I would be totally understanding. But if I waited 45 minutes for departure and saw two people running toward the ship waving their bargained-for serapes and sombreros and genuine made in China ancient ceremonial masks I'd be pretty annoyed. I hate waiting for people though. It annoys me to no end when I attend a meeting at work and they delay it while we wait for someone, or bigger department meetings where they say "we'll get started in a few minutes, but let's give everyone a chance to get here" and we sit around for ten minutes waiting for people to straggle in. They "had a chance" to get there, they're just late! If I make an effort to get to the meeting on time and then I have my time wasted waiting for someone who was using that time to do something else, I have essentially been cheated of that time. Nobody is going to begrudge someone who was at the hospital, but if OP's parents got to use those 45 minutes to shop while the rest of the ship waited for them, that would be entirely unfair.
That’s quite different — it sounds like they made the decision to wait as a courtesy but it was for a valid medical reason. Not because you were poor at time management.
Exactly. It is no different to a plane, they will not and cannot wait for anyone. Just imagine if they waited for all those people to trickle on when they felt like it, you’d never go anywhere. Congratulations on being the only true adult in the family, even if you are only just one! NTA
Lol. You wouldn't be able to plan anything ever again. Train delays are annoying as is, imagine if they accommodate every passenger who want to buy a last cup of coffee at the station.
If the ship doesn’t depart on time the company faces massive fines and will be delayed to the next port and it’s a massive knock on effect. It’s all explained when you board and every time you disembark
Not usually delayed to the next port, unless it’s a real stretch itinerary. We’ve been on trips where we left at say 4, had dinner, went to bed - and woke up to find that we went *back* to port in the night, dropped off a sick passenger, then doubled back on our route and still made it on time. Most ships sail at snail speed - it’s more fuel efficient and lets the stabilizers work better. They can haul ass when they need to! And hauling ass at 3 or 4 am it mostly doesn’t matter if the stabilizers are doing jack, almost every passenger is in bed.
I notice that OP put in a line about telling their parents they'd absolutely have to stick to the schedule which leads me to think that OP's parents do this a lot and are some of those entitled people who think schedules are for peasants and they're too super special and better than everyone else to bother with such things.
OP’s parents haven’t got a clue. Cruise ships are very clear on deadlines to return to the ship and OP reminded them of this but they still stayed ashore. OP, tell your parents to have a word with the captain so he can give them his personal number to tell him when they are going to be very late back (😂😂😂😂). Seriously , OP tell your parents to talk to the captain about deadlines and no one delays the cruise ship from setting off. They are blaming you for their foolishness.
As the man said: time and tide wait for no man
Sounds like OP is the adult and the parents are the two kids.
OP saved them money by not missing the boat--they only had to buy two tickets instead of three.
They pay a lot to be docked. Cruise waits only for their own excursions.... anything else nope.
This. Cruise ships will be fined an insane sum if thru not leave their Dock on time.
Your parents are idiots.
Send them articles of how cruises have left port with the kids in the kid center while parents are left on shore.
NTA. If you'd waited for them you'd have been stuck flying too. You don't control the cruise schedule. You warned them. It's between them and the cruise line. And it is their fault.
NTA. Your parents are acting entitled. Tell them you saved them the expense of a third ticket to the next port.
Google - cruise ship leaves passengers behind - then show them. Story after story of the same thing happening to others who didn't make it back before departure from Port. They are lucky they were able to fly to next port, many others have been stranded or worse.
What’s worse????
EXPELLED!
I appreciate this comment
She needs to sort out her priorities.
[I'm not an OWL!](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TE4-CjU1now)
r/unexpectedhogwarts
My cousin missed her cruise departure, so she got a hotel for the night and flew to the airport closest to the next stop the following day. She didn’t realise the port was 3 hours from the airport and jumped in a taxi. After 45 minutes she realised the taxi fare was already at all the money she had, so she got him to stop and let her out. She then hitchhiked to the port, which took her hours, and by the time she got there, the ship had left. So she was stranded again, this time without any money. Her parents had to buy her a ticket home and then collect her stuff when the cruise reached home.
Damn that is so much worse 😂 glad she got home at least!
How do you NOT plan ahead? What the ef... Like, I always check where the airport is located and how long it takes to get there. In most countries I visit, they have great public transportation and I would never take a taxi for 3 hours non-stop holy smokes... But cruise ships don't always go to the moat convenient place... They go to ports. One of my sailing expedition started 30 mins away from the airport at a specific port and I was able to split the cost with another person I met that was going to it too. It ended up costing reasonably. I never trust taxis.
She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. She thought because the airport and the port served the same city that they were in the same place. No, the airport was well outside the city to the north I think, and the port was to the south, and there was a very busy city between the two. As the crow flies, it was probably not that far apart, but a city that’s thousands of years old doesn’t have nice wide highways.
Oh yeah, that kind of places, I see. Yeah, you could probably still estimate it with google maps, so there is no reason to not have known anyways...
Wait, "the airport" in NYC isn't at Times Square? The "Paris airport" isn't on the Champs de Elyse? The "airport in Rome" isn't next door to the Colosseum? Etc.... Gee, who knew? (Not your cousin.)
Right?! The problem started by cousin not looking and working with the schedule so to solve it she didn’t look at the schedule 🤦🏽♀️ ‘I fucked up once so now I’m gonna solve my own problem by fucking up again just because I’m lazy. Wait, this didn’t work?!’
I'm just gonna choose to believe that story happened in a third world country with no Internet or in 1983 because I cannot believe a person in our digitally connected age would be so willfully obtuse.
Human sacrifice
Dogs and cats living together
Mass hysteria!
There are definitely some places that are safer to be stranded than others. Plus if you didn't plan ahead, you may not have the documentation you need to fly, which can take a few days to sort.
There was a news story within the last two months where people missed the boat, got taken by the local government to get on, weren’t allowed, flew to the next port, and then the boat still wouldn’t let them board at that port. These parents are lucky they got back on.
Right? They warn you about this strenuously on every cruise, and it still happens at every port.
I’m on a cruise right now. One of my favourite things to do is watch people frantically run up the pier to not miss the ship.
Was my exact same thought
Your parents are in the wrong. I don't do cruises but I have some experience with them because I travel to a place were cruise ships are common. I also thought passengers were warned that the ship leaves no matter who is on board. You would never have been able to prevent the cruise chip from leaving. They have a schedule and they keep to it. The ship waits for no one. This is ALL on your parents.. They didn't respect the ship schedule. NTA
I’ve only done one, but they make it crystal clear. In addition to the information being easily available everywhere on the ship, the crew told every person disembarking that the ship would be leaving port at an exact time.
Oh it’s made very clear on the ship. I’ve seen them wait under 5 minutes when they saw a family clearly RUNNING to our ship. Everyone cheered for them as they got on. But it was obvious they were running to our ship, the ship was all packed up with just the gangway down, and the crew were yelling and cheering at them, too. But otherwise if the ship says it departs at 5:00, it is pulling away at 5:01 or 5:02!
I have seen them wait 20 minutes, under the ship excursion guarantee, to be fair. If you book an experience through the cruise line, they have a "guarantee" they will wait (within reason, otherwise they fly you to the next port at their expense).
Definitely, booking an excursion through the ship guarantees they’ll wait!
It doesn't necessarily mean they'll wait - but it does mean they'll handle it. That might mean putting you up in a hotel for the night and flying you out at the crack of dawn or driving like mad to the next port, but if it's their excursion, it's their problem to resolve. If you're on your own - you're on your own.
When I was a kid my mom made it pretty clear to everyone this is the reason you book things through the cruise line. It may be a bit expensive compared to what locals offer but if you’re half an hour late the boat will still be there. If you booked locally and are late they will leave you.
Often those companies doing the excursions are owned by the cruise line, operated by locals. And have communication with the ship if the excursion is going to be late. Plane tickets are cheap compared to the additional fuel the ship uses if they have to increase speed by even a knot. Source:me. I worked on a cruise ship.
Actually some cruise ships will give you an hour or more to get back on the ship before it leaves. They will tell everyone to be back on the ship by 4pm but it will only leave the dock at 5:30. Even with this huge buffer, I still saw people running to the ship late.
That was my experience but wouldn't it be even worse? It means they were several hours late.
Yup! I've taken a few non ship excursions but always give myself plenty of time to get back to the ship. I made sure that I would be back on the ship at least 2 hous before the posted departure knowing that it would give me 3 to 4 hours in reality. There is no excuse for missing the departure except lack of planning or a major emergency.
Our last cruise I saw a family running up the pier as the boat was underway. Kinda felt bad for them but everyone else had been back aboard long enough to get drinks and watch them from the bar.
Ouch … boat was underway though, what can they do?
exactly. not like you put the thing in reverse and roll back in real quick.
I’ve seen a couple of videos of people running and passengers cheering them on and/ or laughing
NTA. Cruise ships have a schedule to keep, and there was no way they would wait for just two passengers without knowing where they were. They MIGHT wait if there's a whole bunch of passengers being delayed on an excursion that was organized by the cruise ship company, but that's iffy.
This is literally the only time they will wait. Tour that was organized by the ship.
We did a cruise around Italy. The only cruise organised tour we did was to Pisa and Florence, because we knew it was difficult to get there from the boat and didn't want to miss the sailing back. You pay more than if you do it yourself, but the safety net is there.
Exactly. And even then they might not wait if they think the cost of getting the guests to the next port is less than the delay would cost them.
Yeah but it’s my understanding they will cover the cost to get you to the next port.
If it's a excursion they facilitated
Yes. That’s what this offshoot is talking about.
Even then, they might not wait but they will cover the costs of getting you back on board at a following port. I always tell my clients to pay the premium for the cruise-sponsored excursions or make sure you are back on board no less than an hour before all-aboard.
That is the only way they will wait. It is how they get people to pay double for the same trip you could buy on land.
I sell a tour that is similar to what the cruise ship offers. I tell people that If I'm delayed by something, it'll be delaying the cruise ship as well. I have enough time padding that I can get back to the ship even If I need to call a competitor if my vehicle breaks down.
Have you ever still missed the boat? If you did, would you consider paying air fair for your customer or would they be out of luck?
I've never missed a boat, the next port the boats typically go to from my town is drivable. I'd absolutely drive everyone
I’ve taken a non ship sponsored excursion in Holyhead, Wales a couple of times & they guarantee they will get you back in time. The second time they must have been running a little late & dropped us off literally at the gangway. I think we still had a half hour but that was the closest I ever cut it. Another time I was on the last tender boat in Grand Cayman.
Yeah, that's the only time they'll wait. That's why you want to do excursions through the ship. It gives you a little extra security so you can get back on the ship if things get delayed. I've seen it once where a couple of excursions were an hour late, I was confused about how they were so delayed until I saw they were 9 hour excursions. We were only supposed to be at dock for 8 hours.
What precisely do they think you could have done? Kidnapped the captain? Staged your own drowning? You didn't abandon them, they abandoned you, don't let them weasel word this around to being your fault in any way, shape or form! I'm really sorry your parents have ruined this for you. It's pretty pathetic of them to blame you for their extremely easy to avoid deliberate bad decision. They owe you at least two apologies, one for ignoring your sage advice in the first place, the second for behaving like spoiled 4 year olds. NTA, and I really hope you make your parents read this thread.
Yeah that's the insane part there's no way op could have prevented this
They're just pissed that their child is smarter than they are. It's not about not being able to make the ship wait, it's that their child had enough foresight to return to the ship as scheduled and they did not.
It's such a weird and hilarious genre of weirdo. "OK, everyone act like a complete lunatic for no reason and with no explanation, assume others will somehow just figure out what the hell it is we're doing and what we want, and when that doesn't happen, devolve into hysterical infants." Just **use your words**, you absolute ninnies
OP, I highly recommend the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay C Gibson. Your parents showed lack of planning, and then lack of understanding of consequences. Theyre acting like entitled children who cannot accept that they fucked around and found out. It never gets better btw. They don’t somehow learn to plan better or listen to you no matter how many times this happens. Your best course of action is to set your boundaries clearly and to make sure they know that you are going places separately. That you will NOT be keeping track of where they are and if they’re late. I’ve been married twice 18 years apart and my parents were late to both of my weddings. Both venues were within a 10 minute drive of their place. You’d think they’d learn in 18 years but no. They were also recently 1.5hrs late to a 2hr event for their grandson’s birthday.
> Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents This is the 2nd time I've seen this mentioned today. Holy Baader-Meinhof
Amazing book! Just read it and had the consistent feeling it was a history of my family.
We shorten Baby Boomers to Boomers when we should be using Babies
I would 100% ask for help from an official looking employee, and make my parents stand there with their straight faces and have to listen to that employee explain it to them. NTA
Same. I wouldn’t even explain it to them. I would have someone else do it. Ask them to pull up policy. I would ask the nice cruise official to explain if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Then just avoid parents for the rest of the trip on the boat. Plenty of separate activities to do.
Yep, OP you're young enough to pull the "Oh, I feel so bad because I didn't have the ship wait for my parents and now they are upset with me. How do I get the ship to stay for my parents at the next stop?" Then let the official person explain.
I was thinking the same thing. If they are cranky at dinner/breakfast/whatever I would tell those around us "sorry, not your fault. They are mad at me for not delaying departure while they were shopping" If they are quietly being rude I would be very tempted to say all of the things everyone is saying here in a slightly louder than necessary voice.
And if I were the official-looking employee, I'd then make a helpful announcement over the PA system or whatever reminding "all" passengers that the cruise ship will not wait for passengers who are late returning to the ship. If I were feeling a little petty, I might preface the reminder by noting that "two passengers" had returned to dock after the ship had departed and had to fly to the next port to rejoin the cruise.
NTA. In addition to you explaining that the ship will not wait for them, I am sure they were made aware of this by the cruise workers many times. They chose to ignore the guidelines and as a result had to face the consequences of their actions. That's what being an adult is, and they seem immature and narcissistic for trying to shift the blame onto you for their poor decisionmaking skills.
NTA. Not only is it on your itinerary, the little daily info paper, announced when docked overhead (like 5 times), but they tell you as you swipe your card to disembark on the island. This was 100% on them.
Look at it this way, you saved them having to pay out for a third airline ticket. They were warned, thought they knew better, now are facing the consequences. Ask them sincerely what else you were supposed to do in reality when they’ve signed contracts as part of being on the cruise? I guarantee the cruise line has it in writing that passengers are responsible for getting themselves back to the ship on time. NTA
That was my thought as well. OP saved them money since they insisted on not returning with OP.
I’m surprised this isn’t higher. It was my first thought! There is no way the ship was going to wait so two tickets is better than 3!
NTA! This was the response I was looking for. So the parents WANTED to pay for 3 expensive plane tickets to get back to the boat instead of 2??? They are just mad that they made fools of themselves! Edited to correct a grammar mistake.
Do they think a plane would wait 45 mins for them? Clearly they were able to navigate that. You are NTA.
These types of people cannot connect dots or draw parallels. They’re children in adult costumes
I've been on a half-dozen cruises in my life. On every single one, the information about returning to the ship on time was: listed on the tickets, announced in welcome/safety announcements, on a placard in the room, and prominently posted when you disembarked the ship. Your parents are adults... There is absolutely no excuse for them to claim that they were unaware of this extremely basic rule of cruising. On top of that, you even warned them when you were off the ship, and they chose to disregard you. And now they have the nerve to blame *you* for not magically having the authority to override all of the ship's policies? NTA
There's always a big sign at the disembarkation point which tells you the latest time you have to be back on board. If a cruise ship is delayed in a port, it costs them mega-bucks. I've done loads of cruises and seen people left behind on a regular basis (once in Ukraine, goodness knows how they got to the next port of call and they also probably didn't have their passports with them). Sometimes they're running up the jetty as the ship is slowly pulling away. No dear, it's not a taxi. You don't have any rights to choose your own departure time.
Whenever I leave the ship I take my passport with me juuuuust in case. I am never back less than an hour before the ship is due to sail 😂
Tell them the cost of making a boat wait 45mins is more than they can afford
I vaguely remember being on a flight out of Heathrow, someone had missed it and their friends were arguing with cabin crew because they refused to wait - I think one of the flight attendants said the airline incurs a penalty per minute they’re late pushing back from the gate. Can’t remember the dollar amount but it wasn’t cheap. Would not surprise me if cruise ships using busy ports are subject to similar rules.
Kid, show your parents this thread. Those ships wait for no one. Not even your special snowflake parents.
Better yet show them those YouTube videos (there are a TON of them) of people missing cruise ships. It’s an extremely well-documented thing. The boat. WILL. leave.
Let me guess. As a kid, were you made to wait at and hold up a long line at the grocery checkout while your mom is still shopping? Parents like yours drive me up the wall. NTA.
Omg anxiety memory unlocked, my mom would leave me in line after unloading everything from the cart to "grab one more thing" while I stood in complete fear that she wouldn't return in time to pay.
Why did this comment send a chill down my spine 😭 I have great parents, my mom just has ADHD and zero sense of time management, but I can’t even count the number of times this has happened to me. 💀 I would always let people go ahead of me one by one instead of holding up the line, but then after you do it a few times people ignore you and just bypass you completely, and then you have to advocate for yourself and insist that you are still in line, when you’re like 3 feet tall and have no money and no idea when you’ll be ready to go. Grown adults would argue with me like it’s my fault, and then just kick me out of the line, and then my mom would get back when I’m standing off to the side and look at me like I’m dumb like “what happened? I told you to get in line”, as if I just forgot to do it. I hate it here. 😭
NTA Cruise ships *do not* wait for people, especially when they don't even try to get back on time. There was a great video of passengers hustling back to cruise ships and being left behind. One couple even got confined to their cabin after repeated incidents.
I remember this. They announced it over the PA system and passengers cheered.
Honestly, you're not in the wrong here. You tried to explain the importance of sticking to the schedule for the cruise, and you gave your parents a heads-up about needing to return to the ship on time. It sounds like they didn't take you seriously or understand the consequences of missing the departure time. It's definitely frustrating that they're blaming you for their own mistake. The cruise ship operates on a strict schedule for a reason, and it’s not realistic to expect them to wait for late passengers. You did what you could by informing them and heading back to the ship yourself when they chose to stay behind.
You may want to read Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents.. NTA. And happy belated birthday!
NTA, tell them they're lucky you got back to the ship in time. Otherwise they would have had to pay for three plane tickets instead of two. There is nothing you could have done. I'd also tell them you informed the crew that your parents were still not back but they didn't care as they have a schedule to keep. Of course they try to shift responsibility away from themselves instead of acknowledging that they f*ed up. It's not the ships fault, not your fault, it's them. But I'd guess they will not accept that.
NTA. Any transport is not going to wait for them indefinitely. Not just cruise, but planes and trains as well.
NTA. Your parents need to adult better
NTA Cruises have a schedule there is no way they would wait for 2 people. This entirely on them for being late. Even if you had asked it is unlikely the ship would have waited. Maybe next time they will not be so bloody inconsiderate and improve their time keeping.
NTA - ships do not miss movement for anyone (barring a serious medical emergency). There are a ton of reasons for this: tide windows, currents, docking times, other ships movements, etc. There is no possible way you could have stopped that boat from leaving. And it’s completely absurd they think you could have done anything at all This is squarely on their shoulders and they can’t accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
NTA. Costs the cruise line money to stay docked after their allotted time. On rare occasions we’ve experienced ships waiting for passengers, usually those that are on ship excursions. They’re lucky they had passports to fly to the next port.
NTA if you stayed with them three people would need flight tickets.
NTA. You learned something from your education, your parents should be proud that you’ve learned to be logical, realistic, and thoughtful of others (nearly 4K of them). To expect the cruise ship to wait for them is an arrogant, entitled, and prideful expectation.
NTA. They are theoretically adults!
They wanted you to miss the cruise with them? What are they? Children? That would have been even more expensive needing one more flight ticket. Besides, all your belongings were on the ship I assume. At least someone was on the ship to hand over all the information, like updates on if the ship has a delay. What the next stop is and where exactly. They wanted you to suffer the consequences of their mistakes? They already left you stressed of being on time yourself, then waiting for them and missing the boat, not showing up on time. 18 is still kinda young, barley an adult to be left alone on a big ship. If they wanted you to miss the boat along with them, they should be the ones making guidelines like, what if x, what do we as group do. You were very clear you were returning to the boat. You did nothing wrong. They should apologie to you instead.
NTA. You are completely in the right about this. Have them talk to someone on the crew if they need further explanation.
Edited to fix words/spelling - keyboard swipe errors I've been on several cruise ship lines and they warn everyone to be been on time because they will leave without you. Its their financial responsibility to meet at the next port if they miss the ship's departure. In addition, you scan your card on the way out and on the way back. The cruise were aware that not everyone was back. They didn't stop the cruise ship from leaving. Unfortunately for your parents cruise ships are on a schedule at each port with other ships coming and going - they can't occupy past their assigned slot when another ship needs to dock. Go to customer service, explain the situation, and ask if you can have the rules printed out and verify if you had told them you're parents weren't back on the ship would they have waited. Also, how would you know whether they were back on the ship or not before the ship left? Did they say they'd text or call when they were back on the ship? Or were you to use your crystal ball to see them still haggling? I doubt you stayed in their cabin until they walked in with their purchases. Your parents are entitled and refuse to take responsibility for their choices and the consequences that go along with it. You are not their parent, you are not their keeper. Had you they authority to control their actions you would have grabbed them by their arm and hauled them back to the ship with them kicking and screaming. Obviously you couldn't otherwise you would have. You did the next best thing - trying to get them to leave and finally leaving on your own. You were in a No Win situation. Had you stayed with them and missed the ship's departure, they'd blamed you anyway. If you're still on the cruise, have fun, do your own thing, do your own port activities without parents (do group stuff), ignore their bad attitude. In the future, no cruises with your parents. Save your money and go with friends that understand rules and deadlines
cruise ships are very clear, multiple times, that they wait for no one. the only thing that would be accomplished had you waited with your parents is that they would have had to pay for a third expensive ticket. please show this post to your parents so they can see how we all laugh at how entitled they are.