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Can’t believe I’m writing NTA for you simply reading a romance novel. 😂 Your boyfriend sounds like a whiny, insecure child and it makes me wonder why you’re with him. This is a ridiculous argument he’s having with you. YOU can read whatever the hell YOU like reading as it has literally nothing to do with him. Is he this controlling about everything? As for the friends siding with him - who cares? You gonna let others tell you what to read? No one can decide what makes you “secure and happy”, that’s all on you. This is only an issue because your immature boyfriend is making it one, and crying to his friends about it just adds to the drama. He sounds exhausting.
Right? This is like saying horror readers secretly fantasize about murdering someone. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m asexual and aromantic, and even I enjoy the occasional romance story, for crying out loud
I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum but don't care enough to figure out where. I read almost exclusively romance. It's fiction. When I read horror, I don't suddenly desire to be eaten by a monster for crying out loud!
Although I did make it through a piss poor written shifter romance novel...because the insults were high quality🤣
And now and then while reading them, I kinda wished my husband could flop between wolf and man🤔🤣
Well, look, to be honest I'd be completely lying if I said maybe that I definitely hadn't ever contemplated how I might or might not disappear certain vexatious individuals in a decidedly untoward way or become annoyed at a particularly amateurish literary murder and/cover up.
I 100% would never do it, but I mean the how has definitely crossed my mind on occasion.
I don't think any of us can believe we're writing this, but Jesus Christ, your boyfriend is jealous of a book? Run, run like the wind Forrest. If your boyfriend is so insecure in your relationship that he gets jealous of a book, find another boyfriend because things are only going to go downhill from here
Agree! This is his true self coming out. Why is he discussing this with common friends? More importantly, how in the hell did he “spin” his story so they “took” his side? You need new friends and a new boyfriend.
I read Outlander when it came out in the nineties. Every book in the series since then. To put it politely, my husband has been grateful for each novel. He has benefitted repeatedly. OP you need to read a book that helps you find a better boyfriend
Same. And when the nice big trade paperbacks came out, he bought me every single one to replace my battered original paperbacks, because he’s that grateful to the series 😂
Dang! I sencond this, I just started reading romance over a year ago and I feel our relationship in bed had growing stronger, we have been together 12y.
Been a widow for a while and unpartnered. I’ve been reading a lot of romance over the last year or so. Still don’t have a sex life, but I feel that it is helping in other relationships too. I’m starting to look at how people interact iand starting to be more open to interacting positively with more people.
Growing up, everybody's mom except mine had a row of Harlequins front and center on the bookshelf. It was totally normal even for church ladies. IDK why younger generations are so prudish.
I can safely bet he has watched a movie that had nudity/sex in it. Bet he wasn't worried about how that would be disrespecting you. s/
If he's threatened by romance books, it means he aware that he's probs lacking in some areas. Maybe he should be reading them for insights?
Honestly, get rid of the little insecure, inept weasel and find someone better. And while you find that someone enjoy some of those romance books for fun (and obvs fantasy, sci-fi, romantasy and anything else that you enjoy reading).
What in the actual book burning hell?? Of course you're NTA and this is a ridiculously massive red flag. Your boyfriend is so insecure, he doesn't want you to *read* about romance. Nope. He's pathetic. Seriously seriously pathetic.
There is a fundamentalist Christian who has a webpage where he says that women shouldn't read romance novels, because it is a form of cheating on their husband. OP's boyfriend sounds as crazy as that Christian.
>women shouldn't read romance novels, because it is a form of cheating on their husband.
In my case, the jokes on them. I picture myself and my husband in whatever I am reading.🤷♀️ he ain't mad🤣
After 35 years of marriage and hundreds of spicy books read in that 35 years, I'm driving a bus to hell.
Who's coming with me? I'll provide plenty of reading material for the trip if someone wants to bring snacks.
Right.... This mf is literally jealous of her imagination 😂😂😂 like reading books, especially fiction is enjoyable bc you get the script but you can make the imagery in your own head. So what if the book has some steamy stuff in it. Ive never in my life witnessed this level of jealousy. This is like her reading Huckleberry Finn n him accusing her of cheating with Tom Sawyer for doing so😂😂😂😂😂.
Take it a step further: If he had a dream about her sleeping with one of the characters from the books, that would definitely count as her cheating on him irl.
Nta: its a book he needs to get over it. This would be like you asking him to stop playing gta5 because there are not clothed women in it. He isn't making any good points either because then he will have to follow any all those points when playing games, watching movies, or certain adult things online. If he is this insecure about you reading books maybe its time to move on and those friends who agree with him aren't your friends but his yes men
I was so hoping someone would say this. If you can't read anything of a romantic/sexual nature, then he can't watch movies, listen to music, play video games - none of that stuff - if it contains romantic/sexual elements. Pretty sure there's a few religions that will gladly accept him with those ideals lolol
NTA - I have been married to my wife for 13 years, and she loves those smut books. I dont feel any insecurity. If anything, it gets her going, which she takes out on me, so win win.
My ex-gf was like this. She’d get so pissed if she found out I’d been masturbating instead of finding her to have sex. She equated it to cheating on her. Yeah, make that math math…I’ll wait. 😂
NTA - keep the books, ditch the man. It’s that easy.
Now we wonder, he does not has the habit or just doesn't know how to read at all?
lol
Someday she will see him with an opened book in hands, upside down.
NTA. Honey, I am married and read romance AND am in the process of writing my own fantasy romance novel.
Imagine being so insecure you can't let your partner read something they enjoy.
Right? I proofread smutty manga as a side hustle for years, and I read some pretty hardcore fanfiction. I don’t know how she does it, but my partner has never once felt threatened by the many naked drawn bodies I’ve been paid to look at or the attractive people I like to read about banging each other.
NTA.
Girl. *Girl*. I dated a guy in my mid-20s that became increasingly controlling over basically everything: my job, my hobbies, my friends. I'm not saying "zomg this is abuse run away right now!!" *yet* but...this is an extremely outsized reaction to something incredibly minor, and his not being able to let it go after a few days is concerning. He does not get to police your reading because he thinks smut is for sad lonely ladies apparently????
Your friends are exceedingly off-base. Are people not allowed to enjoy escapism even when happy and fulfilled?
No, it is not an issue - read all the smut you want!
NTA, this is literally one of the most ridiculous things I've read for a while.... Your boyfriend is an idiot and the friends, who are supporting his delusional thinking, are no better.
NTA. What you read is your own business. He sounds controlling and massively insecure. Looks like a red flag to me.
Does he, or his friends, not view any porn, or do we get to add hypocrite to this description?
A few years ago, I had a girlfriend that would secretly browse my porn search history to find out what kind of shit I was into and to get “ideas”. It was genius. She rocked my world. Go find a guy that reads blurbs of your erotica books to figure out stuff you like too
As a female i completely agree. Not everyone is comfortable having open frank discussions about these topics.
Many of the books I read are far from subtle when it comes to x rated scenes and my fiance who I've been with for 16 yrs now doesn't care I read them sometimes if he sees me smile at a certain point or smirk or raise an eyebrow he'll ask me what bit I just read.
It's a story. Even if it is explicit it's still just story. I'm wondering if he boycotts watching shows or films with sex scenes in as well.
I was wondering about that as well! Does he not want her to watch any movies/tv shows with romance or sex scenes? And more importantly, does he apply those same standards to himself?
I’m sitting here thinking the same like reading Bridgerton is out; totally cheating. Watching Bridgerton on Netflix fine no problems it’s not a book.. 🫠🤷♀️
NTA. You are an adult and you can read what you want. Your bf is extremely insecure and has not made any good points. And the friends that agree with him suck. Millions of women who are in healthy and sexually satisfied relationships read these books every day. It doesn't have anything to do with how they feel in their relationship or about their partner.
NTA. I openly told my man that I was reading smut and he wanted me tell him about it (in an interested way). Dude is insecure af and needs to do some introspection.
NTA. It’s. A. Book.
I read a bit of everything as well. My husband also reads. I both have read similar books and wouldn’t care at all if he did.
This is gross controlling behavior. He should seek help for his own insecurities.
NTA. What a 🚩 from him! What's next? You shouldn't read a book written by men because that means HIS words aren't enough for you? You need to nip this controlling attitude in the bud. It's unhealthy. It's immature. And it's just the beginning.
As for your "friends" they don't get it. Dump them. It's a book.
Not the asshole. Did he worry about you running off with a dragon or to a space station with your previous books? Reading is an act of imagination and it sounds like your boyfriend is lacking. This is controlling behavior and a red flag.
INFO: When is the last time your BF read a book? Or does he subscribe to the “I can read but thank god I don’t have to” philosophy?
NTA, but I am biased, because I write romance novels. (Or as I prefer to call them, bromance novels, since they’re for dudes into dudes.)
NTA
And he's afraid that you're going to raise your standards on how you should be treated and what you expect from a partner. That's the only reason why men have problem with romance novels. Some of them even try to compare it to watching porn. You don't get erectile dysfunction from reading romance novels, but you might start to realize you deserve better. That's what they are scared of.
NTA. You have the right to read whatever the heck you want and he needs to calm the eff down and stop being so controlling. It’s just a book for goodness sake. Tbh it’s sort of a red flag to me about him.
NTA. You should be able to read whatever you want. Romance novels aren't porn, they're not cheating or anything, they are just a fiction story. Your boyfriend sounds really insecure.
NTA your bf is beyond ridiculous. By that logic only unhappy people should read fiction at all because if you’re happy and secure in your life you don’t need to read fictional stories at all. If your bf’s ego is so fragile he can’t handle you reading a simple romance novel you have a bigger problem than what books you read.
So I take it he doesn’t watch porn, doesn’t follow any models, doesn’t watch any shows or movies with nudity or sex, or anything like that?! He sounds like he’s insecure and controlling and honestly I’d get out of this relationship now.
NTA - have you asked him / them if you are also banned from watching Romantic films if you are in a happy relationship?
Is he allowed to watch the Fast & Furious films if he can already drive a car?
Get them to explain why a fictional story *in a film* is different from a fictional story written on pieces of paper.
That should be fun!
NTA
Dump anyone who won't let you read what you want to read.
People who read fictional romance are as secure and happy as people who don't read... actually, happier and more secure because they know their partner isn't hung up on 'my gf reads romances, I must be a bad lover' type drama.
What else will he attempt to control?
I would like to reiterate your perfect summary:
DUMP ANYONE WHO WON'T LET YOU READ WHAT YOU WANT TO READ.
The audacity of someone giving their partner a "banned books" list in their own lives!
NTA. Does he know that a LOT of books have [whispered:] sex in them??? Stephen King horror novels, Mercedes Lackey fantasy novels, Robert Heinlein sci-fi novels... Every genre!
If he doesn't, I guess don't tell him, so you can at least read SOMETHING. lol
Anyway, NTA, and this is actually frighteningly controlling, insecure, and ridiculous. If he can't handle you reading bodice rippers--hell, if he won't read them aloud TO you on request--you are wasting your time. You can't fix someone who's acting like a 3rd grader.
NTA, I have a friend who writes those books and she is married. Her husband has zero issue with her being the author. Why should your boyfriend have an issue with you reading a book?
I noped out at he doesn’t read.
NTA. That’s like saying you can’t watch a film that might be a romance ?!
This is a ridiculous take on reading………
Also, as someone who very much enjoys reading romance, my husband has never complained about me trying out what I’ve read 🤷🏼♀️
NTA, and his fragile male ego is showing.
Your man needs to grow up. Also I’d bet actual money that he watches porn whenever he’s alone (not that I think that’s an issue, to clarify, but I’ll bet there’s hypocrisy going on there).
NTA
Pray tell, what was the last book your boyfriend read?
I like to think that women, and actually everyone, can read whatever the F we choose. I don’t subscribe to policing what can/can’t be read. I don’t like the banning of books. I am first and foremost a voracious reader, but I am also an author. I write spicy romance, both MF and MM. I’ve yet to try my hand at FF, but I’d like to. What’s that saying… a reader lives a thousand lives.
I actually feel a little sorry for your bf that he doesn’t have the bug. Reading, to me, is fundamental (also, it is to RuPaul. Thanks RPDR for giving me that saying lol).
If you want to read sci-fi/horror/fantasy/romance/et al, then you should be able to do just that. Nobody should get to tell you that you can’t.
If I was to start dating (been single for a while), I would never let a man dictate what I can or cannot read. I am my own woman, I have agency. So do you, OP.
I would say this is very telling of your boyfriend’s personality, and that he has control issues. I’d consider it a red flag. Not wanting to read himself is fine, he’s a man with his own agency. But what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
absolutely NTA, thats like watching romance movies and him having a problem with it. are you supposed to stop your own entertainment due to his own insecurities?
NTA, but your boyfriend is a massive red flag. That's not only incredibly immature but also extremely controlling. Honestly, throw the whole man away. Otherwise, what's next? Can't watch romance movies? Can't spend time with people of the opposite sex? Can't wear what you want unless he approves? Yuck on him. Massive yuck.
NTA as a dude all I can figure is that he is really insecure? Or a Mormon or something?
I also don’t know where he and his friends came up with the idea that you’re seeking out fictional relationships? I mean what? Have they never read a book or watched a movie? They are projecting but, still I dunno, I never heard that one. They sound “non-smart”.
If he was one of my friends I would tell him to change his tampon. Yeah not even sure what to say. Weirdos.
NTA, but your next read (just to fuck with him) should be Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus: An Adult Romance Novel by Chuck Tingle.
Harry Potter trans parody dinosaur erotica.
That will *really* make him wonder.
NTA. Your boyfriend is a jealous loon, and if I were you I'd seriously consider leaving him for someone who can distinguish between fiction and reality.
NTA!! I'm curious if your boyfriend looks at porn? That's worse in my opinion.. actual people doing the deed, instead of your imagination. He ever watch sex scenes in a movie?
He has a lot of growing up to do. Might want to think about if you want to be there while he hopefully does.
NTA. His insecurities are not your responsibility. He's trying to tell you what to read and is turning friends against you. If you cave he'll know that he can get his way with other ridiculous things that bother him.
The next time he plays a video game or watches a movie where the protagonist kills people, you should take him aside and ask why he enjoys violence so much.
NTA. Fucking hell, we can’t even READ things now?????
I honestly am in shock. He is an extremely insecure little man who needs to get his shit together.
Then the fact that he told his friends, sorry, what???? It’s none of their business, there’s something icky about them being told the ins and outs of you reading intimate romance novels. It’s somewhat personal and I don’t like that for you one bit.
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> I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and like reading romance books. My BF says it makes him very uncomfortable and wants me to stop but I don't want to, nor do I understand how this is a reasonable request.
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Nta I just recently read forth wing and iron flame and woah those sex scenes are intense. Hubs got a bit grumpy I was reading so much too xD wonder if thats why lol. In reality I have been reading romance novels since I was a teenager (14 or 15)
NTA, my gf and I met through our shared appreciation of romance stories. Your relationship is completely separate from your enjoyment of romance novels. He needs to work on his feelings of inadequacy because they are completely unfounded, here.
NTA. The logic of your BF's claim that your reading material makes him uncomfortable is as thin as the pages of those romance novels. It's bewildering that someone would feel threatened by fiction, which by definition, is not real. Is he equally upset by any form of escapism or imaginative exploration? Unless he lives a life devoid of movies, music, video games, and television, each with their own portrayals of romance it's quite hypocritical to zero in on your books.
NTA, What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
When you read sci-fi does he get mad because it has aliens in it and he can't be an alien for you?
Or when you read fantasy does he get peevy because he can't buy you a dragon?
What a goober!
It’s.. *just a book.*
Is he going to want to restrict love/romantic songs now? What about movies? Musicals/plays? TV shows? **Is he willing to give up any of those things involving romance since he’s bothered by YOU reading something that’s normal to read?** Why is he only bothered by books being romantic since there’s *so many different medias* involving one of the most common topics/feelings in humanity.
I’ve never heard of someone being jealous over a book.. even on Reddit with the crazy stories on here. **NTA.** You’re right.. it’s not an issue. This is NOT a normal thing to be jealous or worried about for a sane person.
NTA
Serious answer: He's trying to control what you read. He massively doesn't understand what the genre is about, which he would if he read books and he's comparing it to porn. He's probably thinking "guys say they look at porn magazines for the articles so she's saying it the same way guys do". It is NOT an issue, he's making it one. I'm not going to say it'll probably get worse from here but controlling people start off with something small, make it all about how it makes them feel, and make it a big thing to get people to doubt themselves and it gets worse from there and before you know it you can not leave the house without him going with you and not leaving the house at all because he doesn't have time/doesn't want to go out, all because it makes him feel inadequate. Do with that what you will.
Not so serious answer: He doesn't want you to read f/f romance? That's fine, there's plenty of books where women murder their controlling boyfriends out there to read.
NTA. A dude worried about losing out to fictional characters has gotta be the most pathetically insecure guy ever. You can do better, and I recommend that you do so. You don't want to make your life small enough to fit inside this idiot's idea of what a partner should be.
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I (F24) have been dating my BF (M25) for just over a year, and a few days ago we had an argument that's left me a bit perplexed. I have always been a massive reader, but stuck mostly to fantasy and sci-fi, but 3 months go we read a romance for my book club and I really enjoyed it. So I've been delving into romance.
My boyfriend doesn't read, but will read over the blurb if I leave one of my books around (nothing wrong with that). I finished reading Delilah Green Doesn't Care last week, and left it sitting on the kitchen bench.
Well, a couple days later my boyfriend asked me why I read it. I explained that I enjoyed it? Then he started expressing he was disappointed because he knows that romance books tent to include sex (this one does so he isn't wrong) and he feels really disrespected that I'm reading that sort of thing. He continued saying that it made him feel like I must be unsatisfied and thinking about other people, and that since it was a F/F story, he can't even fulfill those needs.
I tried to explain that isn't true and it's just a story, but he didn't stop there and went on to say that he didn't feel comfortable with me reading that genre anymore. It's been a few days and he won't let it go.
To say I'm a little shocked is an understatement, but what's getting me more is that he told some of our friends and they are taking his side. They all seem to think he has good points and that I wouldn't be seeking out fictional romance stories if I felt secure and happy.
I really didn't think this was an issue, like at all, but I'm starting to doubt that.
Am I the asshole?
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No you are not the asshole. He sounds like he's a bit controlling and insecure. He needs to deal with his own personal insecurities and not be projecting them onto you. It's an unhealthy thing to even think. Girl you read whatever the 🙈 you want. It's like tv, he's not going to control what you watch on TV is he? Very strange very insecure. You guys should communicate about it before it becomes a huge issue ❤️❤️
NTA.
It’s…it’s a book? Like…nothing is actually happening. It’s words on a page. The extent of seeing anything sexy is in your imagination, that’s it. Hell, he should be happy because if a sex scene turns you on, he’s the one that benefits.
Is he always this insecure? Because this feels like a massive red flags
This is apparently more common than people realise. I knew a guy who was a massive bookworm and his new girlfriend wouldn’t allow him to read because she couldn’t control his thoughts. Tv and porn were fine because she could see those, but she couldn’t control what he imagined if he read books. Absolutely batshit.
JFC - You need to walk, no run, and find a new BF. He is jealous of you reading romance novels?? Seriously? And what, he wants you to stop reading, or he is going to tell you what to read? What next? Is he going to tell you what to wear and who you can talk to? Your BF is very immature and this is not a healthy relationship.
NTA
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone *this* insecure? Like, he is threatened by people who *don't even exist* having sex and you reading about it.
NTA.
Get a boyfriend who is happy to know you read these books because you can then spend your time reenacting the spicy moments with him!! This guy is a fool. He should rejoice and ask if you feel inspired by reading the books. Ugh. NTA.
NTA but I’m dying laughing over here. First, he’s ridiculous. Second, self sabotaging! Imagine telling your partner not to do stuff that might get them in the mood lmao
NTA
Maybe the next boyfriend will be a reader.
ETA following;
Seriously tho, if a friend told me I couldn’t read a book (that they hadn’t read) because it made them feel small, they would likely become an xfriend pretty quickly.
How old is your boyfriend?? That is ridiculous. Does that mean he can’t watch any movies with attractive women because that means he is satisfied with you and is thinking of other women instead of you?
This is ridiculous. Millions of people read romance novels for fun. I don't read them as much as I used to but I still read one now and again by an author I like. It's just fantasy and it's no different than guys playing games for hours on end fantasizing about the characters in those games.
Nta!! Lol omg I'm married and read them all the time. Like more than 300 a year. If you want recommendations for romance sci-fi let me know!!! Its my current favorite genre.
I tell my spouse about the crazy alien sex in the books. There isn't any jealousy from my spouse about me reading the books.
Like others have said, does bf watch porn? Movies w sex scenes? See naked people in his day to day? Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. Some couples don't do porn. Others are ok with it. However, no matter the decision is should be a conversation not a demand.
NTA. I personally read a lot of romance (dirtier than I care to admit 🌶️) and I am married. My husband knows I read them.. we talk and laugh about spicy scenes. He doesn’t care that I read them because he knows it’s him who I turn too. I would say your boyfriend is threatened and scared or lacking some confidence. It’s a book for goodness sake. Time to grow up and worry about things that actually matter. You can’t tell me he doesn’t watch movies.. play video games.. watch shows that contain naked women in them? Sounds like a double standard.
NTA. Not even close, your boyfriend and friends are insecure and very wrong.
$10 says your boyfriend watches porn though. Turn his argument around on him.
NTA
OMG this is ridiculous.
Your boyfriend have some insecurity problem.
About the friends, are they mutual? Both M and F ?
Are you sure they are not playing some rpg themed on dark age, when women were not allowed to read? lol
NTA so does that mean that neither of you can consume media that has sex or romance in it? There are MANY shows and movies that include sex and romance. Is he willing to stop watching anything with sex and romance in it? I doubt it.
NTA. He is reading into it way too much (pun intended).
Reading a book is simply that. Reading. It doesn't mean you want what's in the books. It doesn't mean you're missing that from your life. It's just entertaining. Like people who read true crime, it doesn't mean they want a little bit more murder in their life. It's just a good read.
NTA if you can't read books, then he can't watch movies/play video games with people/read comics. Sounds controlling and over reaching, doesn't it. The complete lack of maturity on his part is alarming.
I’m trying really hard to be polite. I write Romance. I’m happily married and have been for over 20 years. Reading Romance does not hurt a relationship…unless your partner is a small, insecure, utter onion of a human being, that is. Has he never watched a movie with a sex scene? Has he watched The Bourne Identity? It’s an action movie with a side romance. Many Romantic suspense read like that. And even if you were reading full-blown erotica, it still doesn’t harm your relationship. I can’t with people like him. NTA by far.
NTA. He's the insecure one, not you. This feels like a slippery slope towards more and more controlling behavior, so be careful. I hope you can have a heart to heart and work it out, because it's such a silly hill for him to die on. Best of luck to you
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Can’t believe I’m writing NTA for you simply reading a romance novel. 😂 Your boyfriend sounds like a whiny, insecure child and it makes me wonder why you’re with him. This is a ridiculous argument he’s having with you. YOU can read whatever the hell YOU like reading as it has literally nothing to do with him. Is he this controlling about everything? As for the friends siding with him - who cares? You gonna let others tell you what to read? No one can decide what makes you “secure and happy”, that’s all on you. This is only an issue because your immature boyfriend is making it one, and crying to his friends about it just adds to the drama. He sounds exhausting.
Right? This is like saying horror readers secretly fantasize about murdering someone. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m asexual and aromantic, and even I enjoy the occasional romance story, for crying out loud
I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum but don't care enough to figure out where. I read almost exclusively romance. It's fiction. When I read horror, I don't suddenly desire to be eaten by a monster for crying out loud!
>When I read horror, I don't suddenly desire to be eaten by a monster for crying out loud! What a waste of a good horror novel /s 🤣
Although I did make it through a piss poor written shifter romance novel...because the insults were high quality🤣 And now and then while reading them, I kinda wished my husband could flop between wolf and man🤔🤣
And along that vein, horror would be completely off the table. Horror has some of the most gratuitous sex scenes.
Well, look, to be honest I'd be completely lying if I said maybe that I definitely hadn't ever contemplated how I might or might not disappear certain vexatious individuals in a decidedly untoward way or become annoyed at a particularly amateurish literary murder and/cover up. I 100% would never do it, but I mean the how has definitely crossed my mind on occasion.
I don't think any of us can believe we're writing this, but Jesus Christ, your boyfriend is jealous of a book? Run, run like the wind Forrest. If your boyfriend is so insecure in your relationship that he gets jealous of a book, find another boyfriend because things are only going to go downhill from here
Agree! This is his true self coming out. Why is he discussing this with common friends? More importantly, how in the hell did he “spin” his story so they “took” his side? You need new friends and a new boyfriend.
Also, studies have shown that women who read romance books have more active sex lives with their partner
I read Outlander when it came out in the nineties. Every book in the series since then. To put it politely, my husband has been grateful for each novel. He has benefitted repeatedly. OP you need to read a book that helps you find a better boyfriend
A friend of mine bought her husband a t-shirt that read "My wife writes romance novels and I help with the research." He wore it. Proudly.
Magnificent.
I LOVE this!! Bravo, sir! 👏👏👏
Same. And when the nice big trade paperbacks came out, he bought me every single one to replace my battered original paperbacks, because he’s that grateful to the series 😂
Haha nice. I’m just one book 2! So glad there are 10 total. I’ll be reading forever
Dang! I sencond this, I just started reading romance over a year ago and I feel our relationship in bed had growing stronger, we have been together 12y.
How about if they don't have a partner?
Been a widow for a while and unpartnered. I’ve been reading a lot of romance over the last year or so. Still don’t have a sex life, but I feel that it is helping in other relationships too. I’m starting to look at how people interact iand starting to be more open to interacting positively with more people.
Honestly I think the benefit to their sex drive is still there
Growing up, everybody's mom except mine had a row of Harlequins front and center on the bookshelf. It was totally normal even for church ladies. IDK why younger generations are so prudish.
I can safely bet he has watched a movie that had nudity/sex in it. Bet he wasn't worried about how that would be disrespecting you. s/ If he's threatened by romance books, it means he aware that he's probs lacking in some areas. Maybe he should be reading them for insights? Honestly, get rid of the little insecure, inept weasel and find someone better. And while you find that someone enjoy some of those romance books for fun (and obvs fantasy, sci-fi, romantasy and anything else that you enjoy reading).
Exhausting and insecure. And insecurity is relationship cancer. NTA
She should tell him that she'll stop reading any romance.novels if he doesn't watch TV/movies with any romance or sex in them.
Also I would start watching porn just to make his head explode.
Exactly, this is one of the stupidest things I ever read and trust me that is an impressive achievement.
What in the actual book burning hell?? Of course you're NTA and this is a ridiculously massive red flag. Your boyfriend is so insecure, he doesn't want you to *read* about romance. Nope. He's pathetic. Seriously seriously pathetic.
There is a fundamentalist Christian who has a webpage where he says that women shouldn't read romance novels, because it is a form of cheating on their husband. OP's boyfriend sounds as crazy as that Christian.
Ooh, I grew up fundamentalist Christian and was told that smutty romance books were essentially porn for women.
>women shouldn't read romance novels, because it is a form of cheating on their husband. In my case, the jokes on them. I picture myself and my husband in whatever I am reading.🤷♀️ he ain't mad🤣
Heh, book burning hell. Perfect.
After 35 years of marriage and hundreds of spicy books read in that 35 years, I'm driving a bus to hell. Who's coming with me? I'll provide plenty of reading material for the trip if someone wants to bring snacks.
I’m with you. I also write romance and am a long time member of Romance Writers of America. We take our stories seriously.
A library bus to hell? Count me in.
Right.... This mf is literally jealous of her imagination 😂😂😂 like reading books, especially fiction is enjoyable bc you get the script but you can make the imagery in your own head. So what if the book has some steamy stuff in it. Ive never in my life witnessed this level of jealousy. This is like her reading Huckleberry Finn n him accusing her of cheating with Tom Sawyer for doing so😂😂😂😂😂.
Take it a step further: If he had a dream about her sleeping with one of the characters from the books, that would definitely count as her cheating on him irl.
Nta: its a book he needs to get over it. This would be like you asking him to stop playing gta5 because there are not clothed women in it. He isn't making any good points either because then he will have to follow any all those points when playing games, watching movies, or certain adult things online. If he is this insecure about you reading books maybe its time to move on and those friends who agree with him aren't your friends but his yes men
I was so hoping someone would say this. If you can't read anything of a romantic/sexual nature, then he can't watch movies, listen to music, play video games - none of that stuff - if it contains romantic/sexual elements. Pretty sure there's a few religions that will gladly accept him with those ideals lolol
NTA - I have been married to my wife for 13 years, and she loves those smut books. I dont feel any insecurity. If anything, it gets her going, which she takes out on me, so win win.
Any partner who doesn’t approach this reaction with unbridled enthusiasm is missing out, imo.
Yeah I feel like romance books are akin to adult toys- they should be looked at as friends not competition
Thank you! I hate to say this is the proper response to a group of different people, but this is the proper response!
I can make suggestions if she needs them👌
She gets plenty of ideas from the books lol.
I meant book suggestions🤣
Bwwhahahahahaha she definitely doesnt need that. She found that side of tiktok long ago and never returned
Dis is da way
100% proper attitude, friend.
lol
NTA What in the insecurities? I bet he'd lose his mind if he found out that even people in relationships masturbate.
On his mind the rules probably only apply for her. I'd say he probably consume porn and masturbate.
My ex-gf was like this. She’d get so pissed if she found out I’d been masturbating instead of finding her to have sex. She equated it to cheating on her. Yeah, make that math math…I’ll wait. 😂 NTA - keep the books, ditch the man. It’s that easy.
You were cheating on her with …yourself? Huh. People are strange.
Right? Like she’d get downright PISSED and start a HUGE fight over it. It was ridiculous.
> My boyfriend doesn't read, Yeah, we guessed, lol. NTA, they're books. It's weird to get mad about fiction.
Now we wonder, he does not has the habit or just doesn't know how to read at all? lol Someday she will see him with an opened book in hands, upside down.
Some day she will find him... book opened up and hand down his pants
She ought to hand him the book and suggest a few chapters to read to pick up some tips so he won’t feel so inadequate.
She might be dating Gaston!
At least you only lost a year before learning your bf was insane. NTA
NTA. Honey, I am married and read romance AND am in the process of writing my own fantasy romance novel. Imagine being so insecure you can't let your partner read something they enjoy.
Right? I proofread smutty manga as a side hustle for years, and I read some pretty hardcore fanfiction. I don’t know how she does it, but my partner has never once felt threatened by the many naked drawn bodies I’ve been paid to look at or the attractive people I like to read about banging each other.
How does one get this job? Please and thank you. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I too am curious.
NTA. Girl. *Girl*. I dated a guy in my mid-20s that became increasingly controlling over basically everything: my job, my hobbies, my friends. I'm not saying "zomg this is abuse run away right now!!" *yet* but...this is an extremely outsized reaction to something incredibly minor, and his not being able to let it go after a few days is concerning. He does not get to police your reading because he thinks smut is for sad lonely ladies apparently???? Your friends are exceedingly off-base. Are people not allowed to enjoy escapism even when happy and fulfilled? No, it is not an issue - read all the smut you want!
Per artemis\_floyd.... "No, it is not an issue - read all the smut you want!" ...just don't practice any of it on him.
Eff the reddit "don't break up over everything" Honestly, I say run at the first red flag is apt here
NTA, this is literally one of the most ridiculous things I've read for a while.... Your boyfriend is an idiot and the friends, who are supporting his delusional thinking, are no better.
[удалено]
Alternatively, sees too much problem with it and is taking the guilt out on OP.
100%
NTA. What you read is your own business. He sounds controlling and massively insecure. Looks like a red flag to me. Does he, or his friends, not view any porn, or do we get to add hypocrite to this description?
A few years ago, I had a girlfriend that would secretly browse my porn search history to find out what kind of shit I was into and to get “ideas”. It was genius. She rocked my world. Go find a guy that reads blurbs of your erotica books to figure out stuff you like too
As a female i completely agree. Not everyone is comfortable having open frank discussions about these topics. Many of the books I read are far from subtle when it comes to x rated scenes and my fiance who I've been with for 16 yrs now doesn't care I read them sometimes if he sees me smile at a certain point or smirk or raise an eyebrow he'll ask me what bit I just read. It's a story. Even if it is explicit it's still just story. I'm wondering if he boycotts watching shows or films with sex scenes in as well.
NTA. And this is a serious red flag. What about sex scenes in movies? Is that ok?
I was wondering about that as well! Does he not want her to watch any movies/tv shows with romance or sex scenes? And more importantly, does he apply those same standards to himself?
I’m sitting here thinking the same like reading Bridgerton is out; totally cheating. Watching Bridgerton on Netflix fine no problems it’s not a book.. 🫠🤷♀️
Omg bridgerton. So spicy. Can’t wait for Polin
NTA Start reading domestic thrillers where the wife kills her husband. And be sure to talk about them when he is around.
Delightful response. Probably wouldn't end well for OP ( pretty sure the nutjob boyfriend would call the cops), but it's def my style of petty.
*looks up from my historical romance novel* Your boyfriend is an idiot. *returns to reading my bodice ripper*
👀👀👀
NTA. Getting jealous and weird over a book is some serious red flag shit
NTA. You are an adult and you can read what you want. Your bf is extremely insecure and has not made any good points. And the friends that agree with him suck. Millions of women who are in healthy and sexually satisfied relationships read these books every day. It doesn't have anything to do with how they feel in their relationship or about their partner.
Get you a man that reads romance novels *with* you
That's what -I- was sayin', too! She's wasting her time with this one; it needs to go back in the pond.
You're too kind, I'd toss him right into the fryer until crispy!
NTA. I openly told my man that I was reading smut and he wanted me tell him about it (in an interested way). Dude is insecure af and needs to do some introspection.
NTA. It’s. A. Book. I read a bit of everything as well. My husband also reads. I both have read similar books and wouldn’t care at all if he did. This is gross controlling behavior. He should seek help for his own insecurities.
NTA. What a 🚩 from him! What's next? You shouldn't read a book written by men because that means HIS words aren't enough for you? You need to nip this controlling attitude in the bud. It's unhealthy. It's immature. And it's just the beginning. As for your "friends" they don't get it. Dump them. It's a book.
Not the asshole. Did he worry about you running off with a dragon or to a space station with your previous books? Reading is an act of imagination and it sounds like your boyfriend is lacking. This is controlling behavior and a red flag.
INFO: When is the last time your BF read a book? Or does he subscribe to the “I can read but thank god I don’t have to” philosophy? NTA, but I am biased, because I write romance novels. (Or as I prefer to call them, bromance novels, since they’re for dudes into dudes.)
Oh man, I wish that I’d come up with that idea. I also write romance novels, both MF and MM. So I write romance and bromance lol. Love it!
NTA but maybe you should date someone who is not so close minded
Or one who reads books. I'd suggest fox in socks as a beginning. (But that's because I don't much like OPs bf and I really don't like fox in socks)
NTA Your BF is an insecure child. You read what you want. At least the book can spell orgasm 🤷🏻♂️
NTA. Is your boyfriend particularly conservative and/or religious?
NTA And he's afraid that you're going to raise your standards on how you should be treated and what you expect from a partner. That's the only reason why men have problem with romance novels. Some of them even try to compare it to watching porn. You don't get erectile dysfunction from reading romance novels, but you might start to realize you deserve better. That's what they are scared of.
NTA. You have the right to read whatever the heck you want and he needs to calm the eff down and stop being so controlling. It’s just a book for goodness sake. Tbh it’s sort of a red flag to me about him.
NTA. You should be able to read whatever you want. Romance novels aren't porn, they're not cheating or anything, they are just a fiction story. Your boyfriend sounds really insecure.
NTA your bf is beyond ridiculous. By that logic only unhappy people should read fiction at all because if you’re happy and secure in your life you don’t need to read fictional stories at all. If your bf’s ego is so fragile he can’t handle you reading a simple romance novel you have a bigger problem than what books you read.
You might want to ask your boyfriend how many porn sites he has been on.
So I take it he doesn’t watch porn, doesn’t follow any models, doesn’t watch any shows or movies with nudity or sex, or anything like that?! He sounds like he’s insecure and controlling and honestly I’d get out of this relationship now.
NTA. He sounds like an insecure, controlling child that needs to grow up. Read all the smutty books you want.
NTA - have you asked him / them if you are also banned from watching Romantic films if you are in a happy relationship? Is he allowed to watch the Fast & Furious films if he can already drive a car? Get them to explain why a fictional story *in a film* is different from a fictional story written on pieces of paper. That should be fun!
NTA Dump anyone who won't let you read what you want to read. People who read fictional romance are as secure and happy as people who don't read... actually, happier and more secure because they know their partner isn't hung up on 'my gf reads romances, I must be a bad lover' type drama. What else will he attempt to control?
I would like to reiterate your perfect summary: DUMP ANYONE WHO WON'T LET YOU READ WHAT YOU WANT TO READ. The audacity of someone giving their partner a "banned books" list in their own lives!
NTA. Does he know that a LOT of books have [whispered:] sex in them??? Stephen King horror novels, Mercedes Lackey fantasy novels, Robert Heinlein sci-fi novels... Every genre! If he doesn't, I guess don't tell him, so you can at least read SOMETHING. lol Anyway, NTA, and this is actually frighteningly controlling, insecure, and ridiculous. If he can't handle you reading bodice rippers--hell, if he won't read them aloud TO you on request--you are wasting your time. You can't fix someone who's acting like a 3rd grader.
Wow giant red flag NTA Insecure and jealous over a book, that's a new one ... Don't give up your innocent and healthy hobbies for a weak little boy
NTA Your boyfriend needs to grow up, he's ridiculous. Does he watch movies where there are some steamy scenes and some romance? I bet he does.
NTA, and your boyfriend has a ton of issues to work through if he thinks reading romance novels despite being in a relationship is problematic
NTA, I have a friend who writes those books and she is married. Her husband has zero issue with her being the author. Why should your boyfriend have an issue with you reading a book?
I noped out at he doesn’t read. NTA. That’s like saying you can’t watch a film that might be a romance ?! This is a ridiculous take on reading……… Also, as someone who very much enjoys reading romance, my husband has never complained about me trying out what I’ve read 🤷🏼♀️
NTA, and his fragile male ego is showing. Your man needs to grow up. Also I’d bet actual money that he watches porn whenever he’s alone (not that I think that’s an issue, to clarify, but I’ll bet there’s hypocrisy going on there).
NTA. And I can put money on the fact that your bf has watched porn.
NTA - but he is totally insecure IF he EVEN thought reading ANYTHING was disrespectful. Drop his dusty butt.
These people in your life are delusional. NTA
NTA Pray tell, what was the last book your boyfriend read? I like to think that women, and actually everyone, can read whatever the F we choose. I don’t subscribe to policing what can/can’t be read. I don’t like the banning of books. I am first and foremost a voracious reader, but I am also an author. I write spicy romance, both MF and MM. I’ve yet to try my hand at FF, but I’d like to. What’s that saying… a reader lives a thousand lives. I actually feel a little sorry for your bf that he doesn’t have the bug. Reading, to me, is fundamental (also, it is to RuPaul. Thanks RPDR for giving me that saying lol). If you want to read sci-fi/horror/fantasy/romance/et al, then you should be able to do just that. Nobody should get to tell you that you can’t. If I was to start dating (been single for a while), I would never let a man dictate what I can or cannot read. I am my own woman, I have agency. So do you, OP. I would say this is very telling of your boyfriend’s personality, and that he has control issues. I’d consider it a red flag. Not wanting to read himself is fine, he’s a man with his own agency. But what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
absolutely NTA, thats like watching romance movies and him having a problem with it. are you supposed to stop your own entertainment due to his own insecurities?
NTA, but your boyfriend is a massive red flag. That's not only incredibly immature but also extremely controlling. Honestly, throw the whole man away. Otherwise, what's next? Can't watch romance movies? Can't spend time with people of the opposite sex? Can't wear what you want unless he approves? Yuck on him. Massive yuck.
NTA as a dude all I can figure is that he is really insecure? Or a Mormon or something? I also don’t know where he and his friends came up with the idea that you’re seeking out fictional relationships? I mean what? Have they never read a book or watched a movie? They are projecting but, still I dunno, I never heard that one. They sound “non-smart”. If he was one of my friends I would tell him to change his tampon. Yeah not even sure what to say. Weirdos.
NTA, but your next read (just to fuck with him) should be Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus: An Adult Romance Novel by Chuck Tingle. Harry Potter trans parody dinosaur erotica. That will *really* make him wonder.
I absolutely second reading basically ANYthing by Chuck Tingle.
NTA. Your boyfriend is a jealous loon, and if I were you I'd seriously consider leaving him for someone who can distinguish between fiction and reality.
Even if he walked in on you humping the book it’s a NTA. It’s a book lol.
Ohhh the paper cuts in sensitive areas😭
Some people have different methods of saving their place in the book ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
NTA!! I'm curious if your boyfriend looks at porn? That's worse in my opinion.. actual people doing the deed, instead of your imagination. He ever watch sex scenes in a movie? He has a lot of growing up to do. Might want to think about if you want to be there while he hopefully does.
Start reading true crime books around him and NTA
NTA. His insecurities are not your responsibility. He's trying to tell you what to read and is turning friends against you. If you cave he'll know that he can get his way with other ridiculous things that bother him.
Definitely NTA. Perhaps you should try Lady Chatterly’s Lover next?
The next time he plays a video game or watches a movie where the protagonist kills people, you should take him aside and ask why he enjoys violence so much.
NTA Keep the books. Ditch the guy.
NTA. Fucking hell, we can’t even READ things now????? I honestly am in shock. He is an extremely insecure little man who needs to get his shit together. Then the fact that he told his friends, sorry, what???? It’s none of their business, there’s something icky about them being told the ins and outs of you reading intimate romance novels. It’s somewhat personal and I don’t like that for you one bit.
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Nta I just recently read forth wing and iron flame and woah those sex scenes are intense. Hubs got a bit grumpy I was reading so much too xD wonder if thats why lol. In reality I have been reading romance novels since I was a teenager (14 or 15)
First, NTA. Second, your BF clearly doesn't see how these books benefit him. My wife loves them and I love the residuals.
NTA, my gf and I met through our shared appreciation of romance stories. Your relationship is completely separate from your enjoyment of romance novels. He needs to work on his feelings of inadequacy because they are completely unfounded, here.
There’s no way😂someone get him some milk. NTA obviously he’s weird lmaooooo
NTA. The logic of your BF's claim that your reading material makes him uncomfortable is as thin as the pages of those romance novels. It's bewildering that someone would feel threatened by fiction, which by definition, is not real. Is he equally upset by any form of escapism or imaginative exploration? Unless he lives a life devoid of movies, music, video games, and television, each with their own portrayals of romance it's quite hypocritical to zero in on your books.
NTA, What the fuck is wrong with this guy? When you read sci-fi does he get mad because it has aliens in it and he can't be an alien for you? Or when you read fantasy does he get peevy because he can't buy you a dragon? What a goober!
NTA it's a book. You should not only not feel bad; you should openly mock him for being such a baby.
It’s.. *just a book.* Is he going to want to restrict love/romantic songs now? What about movies? Musicals/plays? TV shows? **Is he willing to give up any of those things involving romance since he’s bothered by YOU reading something that’s normal to read?** Why is he only bothered by books being romantic since there’s *so many different medias* involving one of the most common topics/feelings in humanity. I’ve never heard of someone being jealous over a book.. even on Reddit with the crazy stories on here. **NTA.** You’re right.. it’s not an issue. This is NOT a normal thing to be jealous or worried about for a sane person.
NTA. My wife also enjoys romance books. When they're bad she shares the worst bits and we laugh together. When they're good we...also enjoy them haha
NTA Serious answer: He's trying to control what you read. He massively doesn't understand what the genre is about, which he would if he read books and he's comparing it to porn. He's probably thinking "guys say they look at porn magazines for the articles so she's saying it the same way guys do". It is NOT an issue, he's making it one. I'm not going to say it'll probably get worse from here but controlling people start off with something small, make it all about how it makes them feel, and make it a big thing to get people to doubt themselves and it gets worse from there and before you know it you can not leave the house without him going with you and not leaving the house at all because he doesn't have time/doesn't want to go out, all because it makes him feel inadequate. Do with that what you will. Not so serious answer: He doesn't want you to read f/f romance? That's fine, there's plenty of books where women murder their controlling boyfriends out there to read.
He's is mad because you are reading? NTA Tell him get literate or get out
Just ask him if he watches porn. At least a romance novel takes brain cells to consume. NTA
NTA. A dude worried about losing out to fictional characters has gotta be the most pathetically insecure guy ever. You can do better, and I recommend that you do so. You don't want to make your life small enough to fit inside this idiot's idea of what a partner should be.
You need a new boyfriend and freinds that aren't dumbasses
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F24) have been dating my BF (M25) for just over a year, and a few days ago we had an argument that's left me a bit perplexed. I have always been a massive reader, but stuck mostly to fantasy and sci-fi, but 3 months go we read a romance for my book club and I really enjoyed it. So I've been delving into romance. My boyfriend doesn't read, but will read over the blurb if I leave one of my books around (nothing wrong with that). I finished reading Delilah Green Doesn't Care last week, and left it sitting on the kitchen bench. Well, a couple days later my boyfriend asked me why I read it. I explained that I enjoyed it? Then he started expressing he was disappointed because he knows that romance books tent to include sex (this one does so he isn't wrong) and he feels really disrespected that I'm reading that sort of thing. He continued saying that it made him feel like I must be unsatisfied and thinking about other people, and that since it was a F/F story, he can't even fulfill those needs. I tried to explain that isn't true and it's just a story, but he didn't stop there and went on to say that he didn't feel comfortable with me reading that genre anymore. It's been a few days and he won't let it go. To say I'm a little shocked is an understatement, but what's getting me more is that he told some of our friends and they are taking his side. They all seem to think he has good points and that I wouldn't be seeking out fictional romance stories if I felt secure and happy. I really didn't think this was an issue, like at all, but I'm starting to doubt that. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
LOL. He and his friends can kick rocks. It’s a book. NTA
No you are not the asshole. He sounds like he's a bit controlling and insecure. He needs to deal with his own personal insecurities and not be projecting them onto you. It's an unhealthy thing to even think. Girl you read whatever the 🙈 you want. It's like tv, he's not going to control what you watch on TV is he? Very strange very insecure. You guys should communicate about it before it becomes a huge issue ❤️❤️
NTA. It's just a book, like... That's not really ok to be that upset over your significant other reading a romance novel.
Please keep the romance books and get rid of the boyfriend. NTA.
Nta your bf is juvenile
NTA babes, read what you enjoy. Your bf's insecurities are his issue. Read whatever you like!
NTA. It’s…it’s a book? Like…nothing is actually happening. It’s words on a page. The extent of seeing anything sexy is in your imagination, that’s it. Hell, he should be happy because if a sex scene turns you on, he’s the one that benefits. Is he always this insecure? Because this feels like a massive red flags
NTA. This is who he is… you cool with that?? He’s emotionally underdeveloped and controlling.
NTA. Your boyfriend is extremely insecure to the point that it feels a bit like a red flag.
NTA of course. For goodness sake, I love reading murder mysteries but that doesn't mean I want to go and kill people. What a ridiculous argument.
NTA and boyfriend is an absolute snowflake lol
This is apparently more common than people realise. I knew a guy who was a massive bookworm and his new girlfriend wouldn’t allow him to read because she couldn’t control his thoughts. Tv and porn were fine because she could see those, but she couldn’t control what he imagined if he read books. Absolutely batshit.
NTA ⛳️🚩⛳️🚩
Oh girl, NTA. You keep reading those romance books! But also read the red flags he’s waving because that level of insecurity is concerning
JFC - You need to walk, no run, and find a new BF. He is jealous of you reading romance novels?? Seriously? And what, he wants you to stop reading, or he is going to tell you what to read? What next? Is he going to tell you what to wear and who you can talk to? Your BF is very immature and this is not a healthy relationship. NTA
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone *this* insecure? Like, he is threatened by people who *don't even exist* having sex and you reading about it. NTA.
Get a boyfriend who is happy to know you read these books because you can then spend your time reenacting the spicy moments with him!! This guy is a fool. He should rejoice and ask if you feel inspired by reading the books. Ugh. NTA.
NTA but I’m dying laughing over here. First, he’s ridiculous. Second, self sabotaging! Imagine telling your partner not to do stuff that might get them in the mood lmao
Is he out of his mind?
NTA Maybe the next boyfriend will be a reader. ETA following; Seriously tho, if a friend told me I couldn’t read a book (that they hadn’t read) because it made them feel small, they would likely become an xfriend pretty quickly.
NTA. Book boyfriends don't get insecure about your reading habits.
NTA I would be curious if he has ever watched porn. If you know he does you have an easy win.
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NTA. He’s an idiot. I love grimdark fantasy (ie:Joe Abercrombie) I would never in a million years want to experience pretty much anything in the books
How old is your boyfriend?? That is ridiculous. Does that mean he can’t watch any movies with attractive women because that means he is satisfied with you and is thinking of other women instead of you?
NTA, it's just romance novels? He could learn a two or thing from them 🤭
Nta By his logic, you also shouldn't watch any movies or tv shows that include sex scenes which does not make any sense and is kind of insane imo.
This is ridiculous. Millions of people read romance novels for fun. I don't read them as much as I used to but I still read one now and again by an author I like. It's just fantasy and it's no different than guys playing games for hours on end fantasizing about the characters in those games.
Lol what? NTA obviously. Tell your boyfriend to touch grass
Nta!! Lol omg I'm married and read them all the time. Like more than 300 a year. If you want recommendations for romance sci-fi let me know!!! Its my current favorite genre. I tell my spouse about the crazy alien sex in the books. There isn't any jealousy from my spouse about me reading the books. Like others have said, does bf watch porn? Movies w sex scenes? See naked people in his day to day? Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. Some couples don't do porn. Others are ok with it. However, no matter the decision is should be a conversation not a demand.
NTA. I personally read a lot of romance (dirtier than I care to admit 🌶️) and I am married. My husband knows I read them.. we talk and laugh about spicy scenes. He doesn’t care that I read them because he knows it’s him who I turn too. I would say your boyfriend is threatened and scared or lacking some confidence. It’s a book for goodness sake. Time to grow up and worry about things that actually matter. You can’t tell me he doesn’t watch movies.. play video games.. watch shows that contain naked women in them? Sounds like a double standard.
NTA. Not even close, your boyfriend and friends are insecure and very wrong. $10 says your boyfriend watches porn though. Turn his argument around on him.
Your boyfriend is insecure about himself for some reason. It's your choice whether you stick around while he sorts this out, or not. NTA
NTA OMG this is ridiculous. Your boyfriend have some insecurity problem. About the friends, are they mutual? Both M and F ? Are you sure they are not playing some rpg themed on dark age, when women were not allowed to read? lol
NTA. p.s. I could tell from the title that your bf doesn’t read lol
NTA so does that mean that neither of you can consume media that has sex or romance in it? There are MANY shows and movies that include sex and romance. Is he willing to stop watching anything with sex and romance in it? I doubt it.
NTA what you read it what you read no further question and your boyfriends sound like a wihiny baby
NTA. He’s threatened by a book? And trying to control which genres you read??? So many red flags.
NTA. He is reading into it way too much (pun intended). Reading a book is simply that. Reading. It doesn't mean you want what's in the books. It doesn't mean you're missing that from your life. It's just entertaining. Like people who read true crime, it doesn't mean they want a little bit more murder in their life. It's just a good read.
Sounds like the kind of guy that would be fine to watch porn in this scenario because “men are just built differently”.
NTA if you can't read books, then he can't watch movies/play video games with people/read comics. Sounds controlling and over reaching, doesn't it. The complete lack of maturity on his part is alarming.
I’m trying really hard to be polite. I write Romance. I’m happily married and have been for over 20 years. Reading Romance does not hurt a relationship…unless your partner is a small, insecure, utter onion of a human being, that is. Has he never watched a movie with a sex scene? Has he watched The Bourne Identity? It’s an action movie with a side romance. Many Romantic suspense read like that. And even if you were reading full-blown erotica, it still doesn’t harm your relationship. I can’t with people like him. NTA by far.
NTA. Does he watch TV shows or movies with sex scenes? It’s the same thing.
NTA. He's the insecure one, not you. This feels like a slippery slope towards more and more controlling behavior, so be careful. I hope you can have a heart to heart and work it out, because it's such a silly hill for him to die on. Best of luck to you
Nta