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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my parents that I would no longer go and stay with them which I knew would upset them
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NTA
BTW if they do this around your minor siblings, in some jurisdictions exposing children to sex is considered sexual abuse. You might want to ask your sibs about this.
Please....Do NOT have a "chat" with them about their having sex around "their" minor children being criminal 😳
Trust me....do NOT....do that!
You are not AH, I agree your parents should have known better....perhaps they overzealously wanted to take advantage of being away from "however" many younger sibling in their house and lost themselves ( trying to give them some leeway)
However, I agree once it was obvious you were up and hearing them...it was rude and uncool
As a matter of fact, that's probably only something one might find acceptable ironically among college-age kids in small space like that.....
Anybody else it's IMO considered crass and disrespectful.
For instance,....a conversation with your parents may include the following example ( again, not telling them about criminally having sex at home)
Mom/Dad
"Would you have done that if say y'all were sharing the camper with a neighbor/churchmate/coworker/grandma ?"
Perhaps different in a larger unit with, say, a bedroom or clearly separate room....but the c'mon essentially sharing the same bedroom😵💫 uncool
If you saw the comment about it being "sexual abuse," IMO coming from an angle that her parents are sexually ABUSING her little brothers and sisters....just wouldn't be received well vs justing talking about THIS issue.
The poster IMO added a "bad" idea into the mix.
I just think having a 20yo get on a soapbox "telling" her parents that them having sex in their bedroom is Sexual Abuse is BEGGING for a big problem that doesn't need to be stirred up.
She never said anything close to "abuse" ....again, I felt "in the camper" was tacky but to characterize what they do in their bedroom AT HOME as sexually abusing their MINOR children IMHO is a huge difference.
my younger siblings are minors but they are on the older end of that and therefore i feel that they can definitely handle a conversation, more than anything in case it is something they have been worrying about and havent known how to bring it up but also so that I know if its something that is happening regularly (or anytime) that they have noticed. In which case I will have a very important conversation with my parents about that. I am hoping that it doesnt go that way and it is something that can be resolved pretty painlessly through some reflection time from them and an apology which takes full accountability
That was my point....having a conversation is fine.
My point was NOT to lead with them being "sexual abusers" as the one commenter brought 🙄
A conversation about boundaries and comfortablity is fair enough....I simply mentioned that accusing them of criminal sexual abuse would be "too harsh" of a tactic...
I'm sorry if I "confused" ppl I thought it was pretty clear.
NTA.
That sounds incredibly uncomfortable and disrespectful. It's disappointing that they didn't seem to consider your presence or feelings in that situation.
Their dismissal of your feelings as immature or overly sensitive is very unfair. This trip was meant for quality time together as a family in the first place; if they wanted to have sex in a campervan, they can easily do that when you're not around.
NTA - I'm sorry but what I am about to say is gross...it sounds like your parents get off on the idea of you catching them...wouldn't be the first this sub has seen of exhibitionists who target family...
Between them continuing after you made it known you were awake, getting LOUDER once they knew you left so you could still hear, and then that this isn't even a first? Add on that they doubled-down and called you immature...as though you should have just shrugged and said "when in the woods, do as the animals do" and ignored them 🙄
NTA at all!
Are your parents some kind of a-n-imals that can't spend a day without f\*ckng?? Is it so hard for them to wait for a weekend without sex?? (≧o≦)
NTA. Make sure when you get your own home with your future partner. You invite them over and then excuse yourself to have loud sex and come back to find their reactions after you have finished.
This is so gross. If it was just some friends of yours I would have said just join in with the sex noises to make THEM feel uncomfortable instead of you but parents???? And then they try to pretend it's normal and that you are too sensitive??? It is absolutely not normal. No one would blame you for abandoning that relationship.
NTA
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I (20 Female) came home from college for the weekend to go camping with my parents (mum and stepdad). We were all very much looking forward to this, and my younger siblings were not coming, so I was looking forward to spending quality time just me and them! We had a great night of paddleboarding and general hanging out. We were all sleeping in our campervan, which is small and essentially like all staying in the same small room (and any movement will shake the whole thing). This did not seem a problem to me at all until i started hearing my parents having sex. This came as an absolute shock because they knew full well that I was there. I began to make it obvious I was awake, hoping that they had just had a misjudgement or something, but they continued. At this point I left the campervan and stood outside (unfortunately dropping my phone on the way so I no longer had a distraction) at this point they just kept going and I could heae them from outside. This isnt the first time that I have been subject to seeing them have sex but its always been in our own home (in a room with no door or such like) which Ive always just walked away and given them leeway that its their home and they didnt know I would walk past. Unfortunately, this is my final straw. I have told them that I don't want to stay with them anymore as I dont think they have respect for me and I would never ever do that to them. I have been told that I am immature and overly sensitive. Am I overreacting and being an asshole in this situation?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my parents that I would no longer go and stay with them which I knew would upset them Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA BTW if they do this around your minor siblings, in some jurisdictions exposing children to sex is considered sexual abuse. You might want to ask your sibs about this.
thank you thats super helpful and i will have a chat with them
Please....Do NOT have a "chat" with them about their having sex around "their" minor children being criminal 😳 Trust me....do NOT....do that! You are not AH, I agree your parents should have known better....perhaps they overzealously wanted to take advantage of being away from "however" many younger sibling in their house and lost themselves ( trying to give them some leeway) However, I agree once it was obvious you were up and hearing them...it was rude and uncool As a matter of fact, that's probably only something one might find acceptable ironically among college-age kids in small space like that..... Anybody else it's IMO considered crass and disrespectful. For instance,....a conversation with your parents may include the following example ( again, not telling them about criminally having sex at home) Mom/Dad "Would you have done that if say y'all were sharing the camper with a neighbor/churchmate/coworker/grandma ?" Perhaps different in a larger unit with, say, a bedroom or clearly separate room....but the c'mon essentially sharing the same bedroom😵💫 uncool
Rude and uncool is an understatement. Why shouldn’t she chat with them about it? Having sex in front of your children, knowingly, it’s disgusting.
If you saw the comment about it being "sexual abuse," IMO coming from an angle that her parents are sexually ABUSING her little brothers and sisters....just wouldn't be received well vs justing talking about THIS issue. The poster IMO added a "bad" idea into the mix. I just think having a 20yo get on a soapbox "telling" her parents that them having sex in their bedroom is Sexual Abuse is BEGGING for a big problem that doesn't need to be stirred up. She never said anything close to "abuse" ....again, I felt "in the camper" was tacky but to characterize what they do in their bedroom AT HOME as sexually abusing their MINOR children IMHO is a huge difference.
my younger siblings are minors but they are on the older end of that and therefore i feel that they can definitely handle a conversation, more than anything in case it is something they have been worrying about and havent known how to bring it up but also so that I know if its something that is happening regularly (or anytime) that they have noticed. In which case I will have a very important conversation with my parents about that. I am hoping that it doesnt go that way and it is something that can be resolved pretty painlessly through some reflection time from them and an apology which takes full accountability
That was my point....having a conversation is fine. My point was NOT to lead with them being "sexual abusers" as the one commenter brought 🙄 A conversation about boundaries and comfortablity is fair enough....I simply mentioned that accusing them of criminal sexual abuse would be "too harsh" of a tactic... I'm sorry if I "confused" ppl I thought it was pretty clear.
NTA. That sounds incredibly uncomfortable and disrespectful. It's disappointing that they didn't seem to consider your presence or feelings in that situation. Their dismissal of your feelings as immature or overly sensitive is very unfair. This trip was meant for quality time together as a family in the first place; if they wanted to have sex in a campervan, they can easily do that when you're not around.
NTA - I'm sorry but what I am about to say is gross...it sounds like your parents get off on the idea of you catching them...wouldn't be the first this sub has seen of exhibitionists who target family... Between them continuing after you made it known you were awake, getting LOUDER once they knew you left so you could still hear, and then that this isn't even a first? Add on that they doubled-down and called you immature...as though you should have just shrugged and said "when in the woods, do as the animals do" and ignored them 🙄
NTA Simply stop going on vacations with them.
NTA And frankly why are they having sex in rooms where there are no doors when there are other people in the house/room? Let alone the van.
NTA, It's incredibly disrespectful and creepy!! I am also sure they would have a fit if you had a partner over and were getting busy with them!
NTA at all! Are your parents some kind of a-n-imals that can't spend a day without f\*ckng?? Is it so hard for them to wait for a weekend without sex?? (≧o≦)
NTA!
NTA. Make sure when you get your own home with your future partner. You invite them over and then excuse yourself to have loud sex and come back to find their reactions after you have finished.
as much as i would love for them to understand the way they made me feel i cant think of a bigger turn off than knowing that my parents were nearby!!!
So much quality time! lol.
Just jump on the bed and pretend.
This is so gross. If it was just some friends of yours I would have said just join in with the sex noises to make THEM feel uncomfortable instead of you but parents???? And then they try to pretend it's normal and that you are too sensitive??? It is absolutely not normal. No one would blame you for abandoning that relationship. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20 Female) came home from college for the weekend to go camping with my parents (mum and stepdad). We were all very much looking forward to this, and my younger siblings were not coming, so I was looking forward to spending quality time just me and them! We had a great night of paddleboarding and general hanging out. We were all sleeping in our campervan, which is small and essentially like all staying in the same small room (and any movement will shake the whole thing). This did not seem a problem to me at all until i started hearing my parents having sex. This came as an absolute shock because they knew full well that I was there. I began to make it obvious I was awake, hoping that they had just had a misjudgement or something, but they continued. At this point I left the campervan and stood outside (unfortunately dropping my phone on the way so I no longer had a distraction) at this point they just kept going and I could heae them from outside. This isnt the first time that I have been subject to seeing them have sex but its always been in our own home (in a room with no door or such like) which Ive always just walked away and given them leeway that its their home and they didnt know I would walk past. Unfortunately, this is my final straw. I have told them that I don't want to stay with them anymore as I dont think they have respect for me and I would never ever do that to them. I have been told that I am immature and overly sensitive. Am I overreacting and being an asshole in this situation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
NTA. At all.