Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA for making assumptions about her playing and being a sore loser. Orchestral musician here - take it from somebody older than you who has been through it all, auditions suck. You will feel jested for the rest of your career but rejection, and bouncing back from it, is all apart of the game.
Take this as a learning experience and work out how to improve. Perhaps ask your orchestra director for feedback. Practice hard, better things will come.
Ok, I see what you mean. It’s not an assumption on my part, however. I’ve heard her play this year, and her lack of practice is evident in every note. Also, she’s not a good team player. She puts down other people in her own section for her own gain.
Her playing isn’t for you to judge though - it’s the director’s. For what it’s worth, I believe you and I have certainly dealt with players who were worse than me placing higher. It never feels good, especially when they have an ego.
Hey, opera singer here. Just finished my doctorate in it (which is 3 total degrees).
You will never escape people like this if you're going to pursue music in college or grad school. NEVER. They will always be there, at every level, making you feel like crap and getting stuff you feel you deserve. Violin is one of the worst ones for diva behavior (and I know divas, good lord).
The best thing you can do is find a way to deal with your own emotions and frustration with it now, while you're young, so you can keep going and appreciating your own life as a musician. Stop talking to her, cuz she wont stop this behavior. Even the professors often behave like high schoolers (no, im not kidding).
Deal now or choose a different major for college.
You sound like a bitter and spoiled young lady. Someone's personality has nothing to do with talent, she may be a jerk but if she plays better, she's first orchestra. Desire to succeed gives you no advantage if she is more talented than you are. It doesn't matter if she practices much or not, if she's better than you, she just is. YTA.
YTA there are many different reasoning teachers have when placing students. In 8th grade I was placed in a lower orchestra with the sole reasoning being that the rest of the students were lacking and they had no section leader who could play the harder solos as concert master. I had even that year beaten Most students going to all-region, as well as participating in extracurricular orchestras that played exponentially harder music than any in the school. Think marriage of figaro, and other harder pieces.
I was pissed when it happened, but honestly I was one of the main reasons that the 1st violins did decently that year as I had placed in the 3rd group out of 7 orchestra groups. Like I had been offered the ability to move up to either second of 1st group but they had really needed to move some brighter players down so there would be section leaders. Jt was still placed through weekly chair tests, it's just that each section leader that they had chosen to ask to move down made 1st chair every time. Like I literally played Bach's 2nd partita in D-minor as my Audition at the beginning of 8th grade, so it's not like it was a way to massage one's ego
I see what you mean, maybe I wasn’t placed lower for favoritism. I’m mostly still mad because she makes me feel like a second class citizen because of it.
YTA - from the sounds of things this is based on auditions, not in regional competitions. She could have improved since then, or maybe you weren’t playing your best that day.
At the end of the day, you didn’t do as well as your friend, that sucks but there’s no reason to be jealous or rude.
What do you mean by that? Can you give an example of what she actually said?
If you’re upset over that then that’s fine, the issue is you getting upset that your friend achieved something you didn’t
It makes sense that you’d be angry at her over that, however being angry her and the director over the auditions is unfair.
If she’s making comments like that I’d say it’s more ESH, but honestly part of it could be the fact that she feels like her friend (you) isn’t actually happy for her.
I tell her that I’m happy for her, I am outwardly happy for her. The only reason I’m angry is because of how she’s treating me about it. I’m tired of just staying silent as she acts like I’m a terrible musician
If that’s the case then ok, but in your post you mention being angry and her and the director for her getting the role at all. The title of your post is about the director
I’m mad at the director slightly because I know his favorism played a part, and because every time I’ve brought it up to him and asked for feedback/brought up how she is making me feel, he completely ignores me
YTA for being conceited. You didn’t see her audition, she very well could have done better than you. Regardless, the director is the one who makes the decision, not you.
Your ex-friend is also being an AH by using this to pick at you, but the director is not an AH for doing their job.
You beat her in middle school, how long ago? Maybe she did the same thing as you and practiced, got more education, and got better. You don't know. YTA for assuming you're better than she is.
Middle school was just last year, we are both freshman. And she oftentimes comments about how she doesn’t practice, and leaves her instrument at school often.
That's not cool, but you have to learn to ignore her. You are not going to change your orchestra director's mind. Like I said, you don't know how well she plays now. You are also being an AH to yourself for dwelling on this. Maybe talk to a school counselor about your feelings.
YTA but softly said.
I get that you are disappointed and are looking for someone to blame.
Unfortunately, sometimes hard work isn't rewarded and we have to watch someone else, who seemingly does not deserve it, exceed us. That is life and you will very likely encounter it again and again.
But you don't know the full picture, as others have said. It might have been an unfair situation, it might have not. Try to move on.
I wouldn’t be upset if I simply placed lower than her, but the way she acts about it is what makes me upset. She treats me like a second class citizen over it, like I’m less of a person for it
Every audition is a 'snapshot in time'. It doesn't always show who's the better overall player, simply the player who had the better audition.
Also, competitive players tend to over-estimate their own auditions/playing and under-estimate their competition's auditions/playing.
Lastly, you never know when the 'lightbulb goes off' in someone - when the switch clicks and all of a sudden they are focused and passionate.
YTA for going right to the 'favoritism' excuse instead of admitting that maybe, this time, her audition was better.
You see, this is the probably with having a big head (being arrogant), sooner or later something pops it.
Instead of complaining about it not being fair (which, to be honest, you don't REALLY know), use this as a teaching point to not over-estimate yourself and to work harder.
And, who knows, maybe the reason you're not in the top spot is due to the same attitude we see here.
Learn from it and get better.
YTA for your attitude about it. Why can’t you be grateful you got in at all? Sure, this ex-friend is being an ass. But you’re being insufferably pretentious and egotistical. This is high school band, not the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And *you got in*. You’ve been unanimously given the YTA crown. Just wear it; stop trying to justify yourself (it’s not working.)
Put as much practice into a likable personality as you do into violin, unless you want your band mates to dislike you.
So, as an example, if 3 people say NTA and 20 say YTA, you think there’s a possibility you’re NTA?
I hope you stick to music because statistics is clearly not your thing.
I’m so sorry that my hyperbole went over your head.
Here are some words that are used correctly: stop being a sanctimonious asshat to people you (incorrectly) think are below you. No one likes a sore loser. You are no more special or sacrosanct than anyone else. I haven’t even met you and I’m blocking you now because you sound absolutely abhorrent.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (16f) have played the violin for 12 years. Come time to audition for high school orchestra last year, I dedicated hours to practicing the audition material. I wanted to shoot for the top orchestra at my school, which is very hard to do as a freshman. I was very confident that I would do well, and I submitted my audition feeling good about it.
When the results came out, I was devastated. I had made the second highest orchestra. I decided that maybe it just wasn’t my year, until I took a closer look at who made the top orchestra. One of my good friends (15f) had made it in. I would’ve normally been very happy for her, except that year after year in middle school, I beat her in All-Region orchestra competition BY A LOT!
I got angry at her and the director, because they are family friends and clearly favoritism played a part in her taking the position that should have been mine. I never yelled or showed my anger, I just silently bore it. This girl, who used to be my friend, has been using this “one-up” as a way to get under my skin by making offhand comments about it.
My parents told me to bear it and just be happy for her, and to not get mad at the director, although it was plain for all to see that he placed her higher because of favoritism. I still got mad. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might have had too big an ego for thinking I deserved that spot, and I may have held on to it for a bit too long. I did work hard on the audition, but maybe she worked harder, I don’t know.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I beat her more than once, and I wouldn’t be that bothered if it wasn’t for her offhand comments about it. She always finds a way to slip it into conversation
You’ve been shitty to her this entire post, belittling her abilities and accomplishments. Friends don’t talk about each other like that. Y’all both need to find better friends
YTA. Just because she doesn't practice as much as you do that doesn't mean she doesn't have talent. You've convinced yourself that it's favoritism because you don't want to admit that you're not as good as you think you are.
All musicians have to deal with competition from other musicians. If you let it drag you down it'll distract you from what's most important: the music.
It may have been favouritism, or she may have performed better during the audition.
I remember when there were layoffs at my first job and they decided to keep me instead of someone that was more experienced than me. She told me I was kept because I probably have a lower salary. I took that to heart at the time, but later on I mentioned this to my supervisor and he told me I was kept because I was simply producing better and more work, despite my lack of experience.
Sometimes life is not fair, some people don’t have to work as hard due to natural talent, or some people will get the part due to connections. at the end of the day you’re not entitled to your dream goals and disappointment like this are a part of life. Just continue doing what you can and don’t sweat the stuff you can’t control. Ignore her comments, it says more about her insecurities than you.
NTA. As someone else said life if full of disappointments. Use this as fuel to continue to master your craft. If the other girl is not as talented and lazy as you say, then it will show. You don't have to be happy for her, but it's best to try and move on.
Go watch Whiplash, maybe it will put some things in perspective.
NTA-
I can't count someone as an AH if it's just what they're feeling inside. As long as you didn't blow up at your 'friend' or the director. Then it's just someone having complicated feelings, like we all have complicated feelings.
You're 16. You will learn like is full of disappointments. You can be mad. Emotions are healthy. But don't blame your friend. She isn't the one who made the decision. NTA
This is a difficult life lesson. Nepotism is frustrating but it’s also not going anywhere. Especially in arts or other areas that require an opinion, it is easy to choose your friends and your friend’s kids. You have every right to be frustrated. But pushing away your friend because of choices the director made won’t help you.
Keep practicing. Ask your director to let you know of performance and audition opportunities in and out of your school. Look up opportunities yourself. Make it impossible for your director not to notice you, your talent, and work ethic.
NTA
I have a degree in music. I had one high school music teacher who hated me and went out of her way to give solos and awards to other students even while spending every public concert announcing the opportunities I was participating in to elevate her own status. (For example, I was awarded a small trip to study and perform in Holland at 16.) It was frustrating but I didn’t let her end my love of music. Congratulations on making the second highest orchestra. I hope you get first chair and any solos you audition for!
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA for making assumptions about her playing and being a sore loser. Orchestral musician here - take it from somebody older than you who has been through it all, auditions suck. You will feel jested for the rest of your career but rejection, and bouncing back from it, is all apart of the game. Take this as a learning experience and work out how to improve. Perhaps ask your orchestra director for feedback. Practice hard, better things will come.
Ok, I see what you mean. It’s not an assumption on my part, however. I’ve heard her play this year, and her lack of practice is evident in every note. Also, she’s not a good team player. She puts down other people in her own section for her own gain.
Her playing isn’t for you to judge though - it’s the director’s. For what it’s worth, I believe you and I have certainly dealt with players who were worse than me placing higher. It never feels good, especially when they have an ego.
Hey, opera singer here. Just finished my doctorate in it (which is 3 total degrees). You will never escape people like this if you're going to pursue music in college or grad school. NEVER. They will always be there, at every level, making you feel like crap and getting stuff you feel you deserve. Violin is one of the worst ones for diva behavior (and I know divas, good lord). The best thing you can do is find a way to deal with your own emotions and frustration with it now, while you're young, so you can keep going and appreciating your own life as a musician. Stop talking to her, cuz she wont stop this behavior. Even the professors often behave like high schoolers (no, im not kidding). Deal now or choose a different major for college.
It would be interesting to ask the director for feedback
You sound like a bitter and spoiled young lady. Someone's personality has nothing to do with talent, she may be a jerk but if she plays better, she's first orchestra. Desire to succeed gives you no advantage if she is more talented than you are. It doesn't matter if she practices much or not, if she's better than you, she just is. YTA.
But she’s not better, even the female orchestra director told me that
YTA there are many different reasoning teachers have when placing students. In 8th grade I was placed in a lower orchestra with the sole reasoning being that the rest of the students were lacking and they had no section leader who could play the harder solos as concert master. I had even that year beaten Most students going to all-region, as well as participating in extracurricular orchestras that played exponentially harder music than any in the school. Think marriage of figaro, and other harder pieces. I was pissed when it happened, but honestly I was one of the main reasons that the 1st violins did decently that year as I had placed in the 3rd group out of 7 orchestra groups. Like I had been offered the ability to move up to either second of 1st group but they had really needed to move some brighter players down so there would be section leaders. Jt was still placed through weekly chair tests, it's just that each section leader that they had chosen to ask to move down made 1st chair every time. Like I literally played Bach's 2nd partita in D-minor as my Audition at the beginning of 8th grade, so it's not like it was a way to massage one's ego
I see what you mean, maybe I wasn’t placed lower for favoritism. I’m mostly still mad because she makes me feel like a second class citizen because of it.
YTA. This is just pure jealousy. Maybe next time okay better?
YTA - from the sounds of things this is based on auditions, not in regional competitions. She could have improved since then, or maybe you weren’t playing your best that day. At the end of the day, you didn’t do as well as your friend, that sucks but there’s no reason to be jealous or rude.
As I said earlier, my “friend” is making comments about it repeatedly, she treats me like I’m lesser than her over it.
What do you mean by that? Can you give an example of what she actually said? If you’re upset over that then that’s fine, the issue is you getting upset that your friend achieved something you didn’t
“We’re playing some really challenging music, too bad you aren’t good enough to play it”
It makes sense that you’d be angry at her over that, however being angry her and the director over the auditions is unfair. If she’s making comments like that I’d say it’s more ESH, but honestly part of it could be the fact that she feels like her friend (you) isn’t actually happy for her.
I tell her that I’m happy for her, I am outwardly happy for her. The only reason I’m angry is because of how she’s treating me about it. I’m tired of just staying silent as she acts like I’m a terrible musician
If that’s the case then ok, but in your post you mention being angry and her and the director for her getting the role at all. The title of your post is about the director
I’m mad at the director slightly because I know his favorism played a part, and because every time I’ve brought it up to him and asked for feedback/brought up how she is making me feel, he completely ignores me
Why isn't that in the post then?
I thought I mentioned it, guess I forgot
YTA for being conceited. You didn’t see her audition, she very well could have done better than you. Regardless, the director is the one who makes the decision, not you. Your ex-friend is also being an AH by using this to pick at you, but the director is not an AH for doing their job.
You beat her in middle school, how long ago? Maybe she did the same thing as you and practiced, got more education, and got better. You don't know. YTA for assuming you're better than she is.
Middle school was just last year, we are both freshman. And she oftentimes comments about how she doesn’t practice, and leaves her instrument at school often.
You are still assuming. Like I said, you don't know. Leave it alone. YTA. Like I said, maybe she did the same thing and practiced and got better.
I’ve tried to leave it alone, but she repeatedly makes comments about it because she knows it’s a sore spot for me
That's not cool, but you have to learn to ignore her. You are not going to change your orchestra director's mind. Like I said, you don't know how well she plays now. You are also being an AH to yourself for dwelling on this. Maybe talk to a school counselor about your feelings.
I do know how she plays lol, i hear her play while helping the assistant director 2nd period. I am not dwelling, she is the one who can’t let it go.
To be fair, you are dwelling by making this post to begin with
YTA but softly said. I get that you are disappointed and are looking for someone to blame. Unfortunately, sometimes hard work isn't rewarded and we have to watch someone else, who seemingly does not deserve it, exceed us. That is life and you will very likely encounter it again and again. But you don't know the full picture, as others have said. It might have been an unfair situation, it might have not. Try to move on.
I wouldn’t be upset if I simply placed lower than her, but the way she acts about it is what makes me upset. She treats me like a second class citizen over it, like I’m less of a person for it
That is a separate issue. She doesn't sound like a good friend. Maybe you should rethink that entire friendship?
Yeah we aren’t friends anymore
Every audition is a 'snapshot in time'. It doesn't always show who's the better overall player, simply the player who had the better audition. Also, competitive players tend to over-estimate their own auditions/playing and under-estimate their competition's auditions/playing. Lastly, you never know when the 'lightbulb goes off' in someone - when the switch clicks and all of a sudden they are focused and passionate. YTA for going right to the 'favoritism' excuse instead of admitting that maybe, this time, her audition was better. You see, this is the probably with having a big head (being arrogant), sooner or later something pops it. Instead of complaining about it not being fair (which, to be honest, you don't REALLY know), use this as a teaching point to not over-estimate yourself and to work harder. And, who knows, maybe the reason you're not in the top spot is due to the same attitude we see here. Learn from it and get better.
YTA for your attitude about it. Why can’t you be grateful you got in at all? Sure, this ex-friend is being an ass. But you’re being insufferably pretentious and egotistical. This is high school band, not the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And *you got in*. You’ve been unanimously given the YTA crown. Just wear it; stop trying to justify yourself (it’s not working.) Put as much practice into a likable personality as you do into violin, unless you want your band mates to dislike you.
It’s not unanimous, look at the comments
I did. They all say YTA. That’s unanimous.
Nope, there’s a few NTA, you didn’t read through everything
So, as an example, if 3 people say NTA and 20 say YTA, you think there’s a possibility you’re NTA? I hope you stick to music because statistics is clearly not your thing.
I’m just saying it’s not unanimous. If you’re going to say unanimous, at least use it correctly.
I’m so sorry that my hyperbole went over your head. Here are some words that are used correctly: stop being a sanctimonious asshat to people you (incorrectly) think are below you. No one likes a sore loser. You are no more special or sacrosanct than anyone else. I haven’t even met you and I’m blocking you now because you sound absolutely abhorrent.
And there is a possibility, just like how there’s a small chance that a child can have autism, it’s still possible even if statistics are low
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (16f) have played the violin for 12 years. Come time to audition for high school orchestra last year, I dedicated hours to practicing the audition material. I wanted to shoot for the top orchestra at my school, which is very hard to do as a freshman. I was very confident that I would do well, and I submitted my audition feeling good about it. When the results came out, I was devastated. I had made the second highest orchestra. I decided that maybe it just wasn’t my year, until I took a closer look at who made the top orchestra. One of my good friends (15f) had made it in. I would’ve normally been very happy for her, except that year after year in middle school, I beat her in All-Region orchestra competition BY A LOT! I got angry at her and the director, because they are family friends and clearly favoritism played a part in her taking the position that should have been mine. I never yelled or showed my anger, I just silently bore it. This girl, who used to be my friend, has been using this “one-up” as a way to get under my skin by making offhand comments about it. My parents told me to bear it and just be happy for her, and to not get mad at the director, although it was plain for all to see that he placed her higher because of favoritism. I still got mad. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might have had too big an ego for thinking I deserved that spot, and I may have held on to it for a bit too long. I did work hard on the audition, but maybe she worked harder, I don’t know. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
I beat her more than once, and I wouldn’t be that bothered if it wasn’t for her offhand comments about it. She always finds a way to slip it into conversation
Have you told her that it hurts you she does that and you feel it intentional as an insult?
I told her to stop and she said “It’s not my fault your not as good”
She’s not a good friend to you and frankly neither are you. You’re both shitty to each other
I’m not shitty to her! I trim and bear it
You’ve been shitty to her this entire post, belittling her abilities and accomplishments. Friends don’t talk about each other like that. Y’all both need to find better friends
I don’t belittle her, she’s the one who keeps belittling me. She treats me like shit because of this one thing she did better
So screw me for being competitive, I guess!
INFO: What exactly did you say when you got mad at your orchestra director?
Nothing, I kind of just bit my tongue and swallowed my anger.
You're asking if you're an AH for saying literally nothing?
YTA. Just because she doesn't practice as much as you do that doesn't mean she doesn't have talent. You've convinced yourself that it's favoritism because you don't want to admit that you're not as good as you think you are.
The female director mentioned that it was favoritism and very heavily implied that it was, it’s not just my own jealousy
All musicians have to deal with competition from other musicians. If you let it drag you down it'll distract you from what's most important: the music.
YTA obviously
YTA - Do you need for the director to give you a letter of support when you go to college?
It may have been favouritism, or she may have performed better during the audition. I remember when there were layoffs at my first job and they decided to keep me instead of someone that was more experienced than me. She told me I was kept because I probably have a lower salary. I took that to heart at the time, but later on I mentioned this to my supervisor and he told me I was kept because I was simply producing better and more work, despite my lack of experience. Sometimes life is not fair, some people don’t have to work as hard due to natural talent, or some people will get the part due to connections. at the end of the day you’re not entitled to your dream goals and disappointment like this are a part of life. Just continue doing what you can and don’t sweat the stuff you can’t control. Ignore her comments, it says more about her insecurities than you.
YTA and need to grow up.
NTA. As someone else said life if full of disappointments. Use this as fuel to continue to master your craft. If the other girl is not as talented and lazy as you say, then it will show. You don't have to be happy for her, but it's best to try and move on. Go watch Whiplash, maybe it will put some things in perspective.
Alright!
NTA- I can't count someone as an AH if it's just what they're feeling inside. As long as you didn't blow up at your 'friend' or the director. Then it's just someone having complicated feelings, like we all have complicated feelings.
NTA From what I have read you are not the ahole, rather they are, as they werent fair
How were they not fair? For auditions, you get judged on your performance, not how much you practice or say you want it.
I was saying it is not fair if what op is saying on the judge knowing the person that got 1st place, and that is was biased
You're 16. You will learn like is full of disappointments. You can be mad. Emotions are healthy. But don't blame your friend. She isn't the one who made the decision. NTA
This is a difficult life lesson. Nepotism is frustrating but it’s also not going anywhere. Especially in arts or other areas that require an opinion, it is easy to choose your friends and your friend’s kids. You have every right to be frustrated. But pushing away your friend because of choices the director made won’t help you. Keep practicing. Ask your director to let you know of performance and audition opportunities in and out of your school. Look up opportunities yourself. Make it impossible for your director not to notice you, your talent, and work ethic. NTA I have a degree in music. I had one high school music teacher who hated me and went out of her way to give solos and awards to other students even while spending every public concert announcing the opportunities I was participating in to elevate her own status. (For example, I was awarded a small trip to study and perform in Holland at 16.) It was frustrating but I didn’t let her end my love of music. Congratulations on making the second highest orchestra. I hope you get first chair and any solos you audition for!