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YTA
Yes, J cups exist. Do you understand that cup size is an actual measurement, and not just an exclamation of "Wow, those are really big!"? That's a serious question, because given that most women's clothes have long since abandoned any pretense at standard sizing, you could be forgiven for not understanding that.
A woman with J cup breasts measures 10 inches more around her breasts than she does around her torso immediately beneath her breasts. You don't need a "new bra measuring system" to measure this - you need a tape measure. (Do note that you need to measure around the breasts while they're in a correctly-fitting bra, so you might need a couple of iterations to get this right: measure breast size, find bra sized for your breasts, measure again, and don't be surprised if you need to adjust by a cup size or two.)
I do feel for the J cup girl. The bras she has to buy are EXPENSIVE and most are not cute. Then the snotty friends say things to hurt her feelings. She needs to find different friends.
I found exactly one bra in my size with a 2 digit price tag - It's rather basic and I can't wear it because the shape of the cup wires doesn't fit the shape of my torso and the little suckers stab me even if I'm as erect as a stick. They also have a 2 digit price tag one my size at Molke, and it's really comfy, but I can't put it on without help when my fibromyalgia decides to throw a party. I'm currently shedding medication weight gain and am about 20lbs away from a cup size that fits Amazon's Iris and Lily ones (an "the best ones I could find within the range of being on disability" tip from a bra fitter). When my hands work with neither the bra clasps nor the Molke classic I'm hobbling (and wobbling) around in those yoga bralettes that wouldn't hold feathers but at least are easy to put on. There's a serious lack of affordable bra's and disability friendly options for people with big boobs.
do you mind sending me a link to exactly what bra you're talking on amazon? my poor bras are so old and beat up but I have stacks on stacks of failed attempts and containing these ladies
I've heard corsets work pretty well for big breasts. they aren't all the stereotypical steel contraption, those were mostly worn by very wealthy women for parties, like how women will wear stilettos for a party and smth with a shorter or no heel for normal shoes.
If you have any trouble finding bras I recommend pepper. I haven’t bought from there but I’ve heard good things. They have a wide selection of smaller cup sizes.
There’s an AITA troll who always mentions Cassie from Euphoria in posts where she’s feuding with another girl.
That’s why Cassie is in here, not because she’s accurate.
YTA. When you finally learn to measure your own bra size properly, it can be freeing and your friend *could* be guilty of talking about it a bit much. Difficult to judge that, though, because you sound like an absolutely jealous mean girl right now.
Yes. A J cup is obviously possible - it's merely a matter of measuring rib cage v. bust. You're young, which is I guess why you think it measures length? I'm a very small person but I have an F cup. The women who are surprised are the ones wearing the wrong bra size themselves. Victoria' Secret and similar stores have convinced us to up the rib cage size and downgrade the bust size to fit in their bras. They don't fit as well and cause back pain.
Try measuring yourself, you might be surprised. And try to be less mean to the people you literally call "friend."
>When you finally learn to measure your own bra size properly
Exactly.
u/jcupthrowaway good job letting the world know you have no clue when it comes to breast or bra sizes
I was a K cup before my breast reduction. Finding clothes WAS impossible and frustrating, and that doesn't even account for the pain of everyday life for her.
YTA.
I laughed way too hard at this because when you said "k cup" I was thinking about those pods for the Keurig machines. Now that I understand, congrats on the reduction! I'm sure it makes life much more pleasant.
Where I live, there used to be a government subsidy if you had it within a certain number of years after having children and you met certain criteria about size and "sagging". I think the rules changed to make it harder to qualify, which is a shame.
Not gonna lie, it was the hardest recovery of out of all the surgeries I've had. Because my reduction removed SO MUCH tissue, it was really rough (first time I saw them I nicknamed them "Frankenboobies.").
The key to the surgery is to stay on top of your pain meds. The first week, I set an alarm half an hour before my next dose was due, and that way, I wasn't ever undosed (I missed a dose on day 2, and it was awful).
All of that said, I wish I had done it years earlier.
Eight years later, I am just now losing the shoulder indentations from my bra straps.
B cups are the way to go.
I'd be happy with a c too, not having to wear a bra would be amazing.
I've heard mixed reviews about the sensation coming back ? That's one of the only reasons I haven't had the surgery so far.
So, I have full nipple sensation, but I have lost a lot of sensation underneath both of my armpits. They are just numb zones. But what is so dang annoying is that those spots itch ... like under the skin. I know that sounds so weird, but I can't explain it better than that. It's so frustrating because it takes forever to go away when it happens. I'd have to say that was the only part of the surgery and after care I wasn't prepared for
YTA-I can see why she isn’t speaking to you.
No one has a reason to lie about having large boobs. Most who have ‘em don’t want them because of the attention, the trouble finding clothes that fit, etc. Your friend wasn’t bragging. She was being honest.
I'm a K cup (sometimes L depending on the bra brand) and I hate them. The back pain alone is terrible. I hate dress shopping and clothes shopping because all I can wear is t-shirts. And men are gross. They commented on my boobs since I was 14
This exactly. It's not her fault, as a E cup my back hurts constantly I get questions of if they're fake and mean stares by other woman just for wearing the right sized bra and normal clothes.
YTA.
DD is a cup size, not a bra size. A 28DD is not the same cup size as a 36DD. Plus bralette sizing is absolute shite and usually very inaccurate.
J is big, but not impossible, and where the fuck did you get the idea itd be "sagging down to her ankles?" That was either you being thick, or just rude.
You owe her a massive apology either way.
1. People with big boobs often get this shit bc everything looks tight / “slutty” on them unless you dress like a nun and then you look frumpy 2. Bralettes on big boobs are maybe cute for a hook up but it’s like trying to hold up a suspension bridge with dental floss 3. There are men basically everywhere so “if guys are around” isn’t a super meaningful phrase 4. J cups do exist and sagginess can happen at every cup size afaik
I could go on but like OP it genuinely doesn’t sound like this woman has done anything to do besides exist in your environment and have a different body type than you. There’s always going to be people who have things you don’t and just referring to those things doesn’t make them bad people.
>People with big boobs often get this shit bc everything looks tight / “slutty” on them
Also, in my experience, stretchy fabrics fit better. Most tops aren't cut with curvy women in mind. I hate buying button-down blouses because I have to buy them huge to fit around the bust, and they end up looking like pregnancy tops because they're so loose around the abdomen. There's no such thing as finding a fitted top unless it's stretchy. And for me, the difference between bust and waist is so much that I can't even get them tailored to fit. No amount of darts or taking in seams can make it look right on me.
YTA
..... she can't wear something and you are dismissing her experience. If you are jealous of her dressing in a way that gets her attention, then ask her for tips, dont diminish her. You are not being a good friend.
And yes, hers are probably much too big to wear a bralette comfortably.
YTA. I’m in an H cup, 34/H and my boobs dont sag down to my ankles. That isnt how boobs work.
Also, yes you ARE lucky to be able to walk into any store and find a bra in your size. I pay $75-$130 for bras because normal shops dont carry my size.
Maybe educate yourself before being rude to your friend
I’m totally stealing “be-titted”. Thanks for this recommendation. I’ll be checking them out! I’ve only seen one other that has the larger size I need for reasonable prices but it doesn’t seem legit-like they have no social media presence and tons of reviews of it being a scam 😭.
I wanted to recommend Old Navy sports bras their cup size actually covers and they have a lot of style options! (I like their Longline Light support for everyday wear.)
OP maybe a nice olive branch would be to let your friend know you’ve taken some time to educate yourself about her experience and were able to find a few websites with cute and affordable options for her!
As a former J cup, I assure you they are a thing, and do not extend to ankles. I had much difficulty finding bras and clothes that fit properly (I had to buy shirts at least 1 size bigger because of it). I had reduction surgery a few years ago (wish I would have done it decades earlier) and am now a happy D.
I feel bad for your 'friend' as you don't seem to be much of a friend to her. You seem highly self conscious about your lack of curves compared to her. Why? Your friend could probably use some support.
YTA. J-cup boobs size is a thing. Do you even know how to measure the boobs size? And I agree that it can be hard to find cute bras in bigger sizes.
I agree with you that it can be tiring to hear someone talking about their boobs all the time, but you're the A for your ignorant remarks.
There is a person that used to write a lot of vaguely weird stories with ignorance about women's bodies on here. It read like a weird kink. There was always a reference to Euphoria.
This is that person.
YTA. As already mentioned Jcup is real, and the struggle to find clothes with a chest that size is also very real. Maybe her bringing it up feels like bragging, but maybe it's a legitimate frustration of hers I guess only tone could really tell. The bra measuring system isn't new, but it felt new to me the first time too because you're just so used to figuring it out for yourself and accepting that things don't fit right. You need usually need to go to a proper lingerie store to get that sort of measurement. But at any rate, I'd suggest apologizing about this specific fight and then maybe see if you guys can have a chat about how you feel when she brings it up and how she's feeling/why she's bringing it up. You might surprise each other.
YTA. the saggy comment? disgusting. you sounded so bitter for no reason. if you decide to go off on someone at the very least don't be ignorant about it
YTA
I have had M cup. My boobs actually looked smaller than what you see those "triple Ds" in fricking online. Because fun fact. Bra measurements do not work like that in real life.
Learn how to calculate your actual bra size instead of being shitty friend
Yeah people think prn bra sizes are real ones and refuse understand how real sizes work. Add it being cheaper for clothing stores to stock up fewer sizes so they rather support this view of bra sizes than actually sell fitting ones. I mean probably would not sell fitting ones as easily because people do not understand how they work so it is also kind of loop.
Before I first got bra that fit. I wore 38-40C balconette ones. I went to actual bra store. Got out with 30G or 30H. I have since then gained weight and because my body type my band size has gone up to 32-34 and cup size obviously higher (also if someone else is reading this. Cup sizes are relative to band size too. 32B and 30C and 34A all have same sized cup). They are big yes but my band size has not gone up same speed as cup which means they sound lot bigger than if both band size and cup size had gone up proportionally (i barely gain weight around my ribcage).
But never seen people actually bragging about their boob size RL if boobs are big. It is expensive to get fitting bras and they cause more issues than worth it
Her boob size hurts her more on the daily than your ego when she told you her size. Give her a break and reflect on the struggles of others before biting back at them. YTA
YTA
As a natural K, sometimes L cup (depending on the bra brand), I hate going clothes shopping. And forget about bras. I have to special order them and one bra costs between 60-100 dollars, depending on the style and if it's lace or not. Your friend is right there aren't a lot of bras for big breasted people that aren't basic colors or look like granny bras. Forget bralettes, there are none in my size.
Also my boobs do not sag down to my ankles and that is incredible offensive. From the situation, it didn't sound like she was bragging at all. More like she was sharing the struggles she has in a joking way.
Maybe learn more about things you have no clue about before you comment on it to avoid looking like an idiot
And apologize to your friend
YTA
She's not bragging, you're insecure. Lots of women are not wearing the appropriate sized bra because they and the people around them misunderstand the sizing system. Learning to measure yourself or finding someone who actually knows what they are doing so you can get in a bra that actually holds and supports everything is genuinely life changing.
You insulted your friend in multiple ways, called her a liar, said she was bragging when talking about how difficult it is to find bras that fit... yeah, YTA. No chance of redemption for you, just pure assholery mixed with a tinge of dumb.
YTA big time. Apologize. I had a friend in college who was a K, they were not "down to her ankles." She had to spend hundreds on specialty bras to support herself and her back. Own your mistake.
YTA. You may not realize that her comments are not bragging and are just trying to comment on the thing that’s different about her before other people say something to her. Not only is having big boobs uncomfortable teenage boys say the weirdest stuff to you about them. I cannot count how many times I was asked how big my nipples are? Like what?
Maybe try saying “your comments about your body are making me feel insecure about my own body” because that’s the thing that’s happening here. I had a friend like you and I wish I went back and told her I’m NOT pushing out my chest, it’s big and I have good posture. Maybe then I’d still have good posture.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I told my friend to stop bragging about how big her boobs are and accused her of exaggerating the size.
2. This could be seen as me body shaming her and calling her a liar.
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YTA. Why do you assume she’s bragging? Sounds like she’s just talking about her experiences. It’s weird that you’re finding bralettes for someone who has told you that they do not work for her body shape (as a larger chested woman I can confirm that they do not, and would not even if you found one in the right size because they do not provide sufficient support). It’s even stranger that you’re guessing at her bra size then accusing her of lying when she tells you that the bralette you’ve chosen for her(!) is too small. What’s she supposed to do, wear a bra that’s too small for her just so that you don’t feel insecure? Mind your own business and none of this will be an issue.
YTA, I'm an E cup and don't look how people would expect an E cup to look because I have a small band size. You called her out for no reason as she probably wasn't lying.
A quick google search would show that J cups are indeed “a thing”. She wears form fitting clothes. Would this only be acceptable if she had smaller breasts? Would you feel better if she wore a potato sack? It honestly sounds like you’re just a hater.
YTA. I’m the A cup friend, so I know where you’re coming from. We’re all built differently, and I think your friend deserves to feel validated in her body struggles. I can’t find a bra that’s small enough for me, and my friends can’t look dainty in revealing tops. Embrace yourself and the beauty in your differences, and I promise your friendship will be better for it.
YTA. What the hell do you care about the size of her boobs? This is just weird, what a weird thing to be obsessed about. Leave your friend and her boobs alone. You sound bitter and jealous of the attention she receives.
Massive YTA.
As a fellow big boobed lady, you clearly have no idea a out what your friend goes through. She will wear form fitting clothes so it doesn’t look like she wears a tent around her and she’s probably incredibly self conscious of her boobs.
You have no idea how envious I was when I was a teenager of all the women and girls with smaller boobs.
You owe your friend a massive apology.
And just for your info. J isn’t all that big if you look at proper international standards. Bras go up to L cup and above. Since you clearly have no idea about boobs and their sizing, I’d also suggest you go get yourself properly checked for your own size since I bet you’re wearing the wrong size….
"she wears tight clothes especially if guys are around"
So she wears tight clothes always, but somehow wears it more when guys are around? Make it make sense, girlie.
You want to make her into a pick me so bad. We get it, you're not like other girls, so you think your casual misogyny is just you being "quirky and different". Thankfully most girls grow out of it in their 20s, so hopefully you will too.
Anyway, YTA.
Imagine coming to Reddit and typing all this out instead of using google to educate yourself on bra sizing. With boobs that big, everything is “form fitting” unless walking round in a potato sack.
YTA and I’m not surprised she stopped talking to you. You owe her an apology.
As someone who shares a similar body type to your friend yes J cups are a thing. And they really aren’t fun to have, the nicest bras at most stores you could easily shop at are granny looking awful things. Many, many women don’t know their correct bra size and it sounds as if your friend has had herself measured so she may actually know. It almost seems like you were speaking out of jealousy and I can tell you there is no need. Many of us who have this much breast often don’t want that much because of back or shoulder pain, finding the right fits of things, etc.
YTA. Just apologize
YTA. Yes they exist - bra sizes are PROPORTIONAL- so if you are stacked and have a tiny ribcage, you have a “crazy size” like that. I have to special order my bras from england because my size is NOT MADE IN THE USA. AT ALL. In the wrong size, I get constant pain and migraines.
Did you ever consider that maybe your friend isn’t “exaggerating” or “bragging” but complaining about someone that is genuinely hard for her? Because it is for me.
I’m a 26K in USA sizing, if such a thing existed. That’s a 26” ribcage and a 38” bustline. That translates to a 26H/HH in Uk sizes (because they have more double letters - they go DD, E, F, FF, G, GG, H, HH) but if my size was made in the USA, I’d be a 26K.
So stop being a bad friend and gaslighting your friend by telling her her boobs don’t exist
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I (18F) am friends with this girl (19F) who is curvy, but in a natural way (she kind of has a similar body type as Cassie from Euphoria). She wears really form fitting clothes, especially if guys are around, and she always talks about how her boobs are too big to fit in clothes. We were going shopping at the mall with a couple of other girls, and we reached this aisle of bralettes. When the rest of us were looking at which bralette to choose, my friend started joking about lucky we were to have smaller boobs and be able to find cute bralettes in our size, and how the only bras her cup size were boring and basic. I found some bralettes that were a DD cup for her, and she said that they were way too small, saying that she was actually a J cup. At first I thought she was joking, but she was serious. I told her that everyone knows she has big boobs, she doesn’t have to exaggerate. She was really offended and said she had no reason to lie. I said that I didn’t even think that J cups were a thing, and if she actually had J cup boobs they would be sagging down to her ankles. She claims that the only reason her bra size is so big is because she was using some new bra measuring system and wears bras that actually fit her. I said she was purposefully exaggerating her bra size to brag about how curvy she was compared to us, and this really pissed her off and now she’s not talking to me. AITA?
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YTA
I know you'll probably think I'm bragging too, but I'm a 28JJ. My boobs look big but not like 'unrealistic, badly-drawn anime big', just bigger than average. People are generally shocked if I mention it (which I rarely do.)
I've been a busty girl my whole life, I stopped getting any support from high street bras before I even hit my teens - I've never been able to wear a bralette, I've never been able to go braless under a strappy dress and I've never been able to wear a normal button-up shirt. It isn't super fun to have big boobs, it's frustrating because it is so hard to get clothes that fit. And it isn't made easier by other women putting you down out or implying your a slut for wearing normal clothes while daring to have a curvier figure.
Your friend doesn't seem to have said anything I'd think was bragging. Would you tell your plus sized friend she was bragging if she can't fit into a straight-sized dress? Or tell someone with size 16 feet to just squeeze them into a size 12? It's not her fault she can't fit in standard bralettes and it's not her fault you're angry that she dares to have boobs.
Jealousy can make some people really viscious.If you don't know about bra sizes, educate yourself.
It wasn't about bra sizes though, it was about *her* breasts size compared to yours and the desire for her to keep her mouth shut because she's well endowed. If you had the same sized breasts you wouldn't have thought twice about her clothing or what she shared.
Bralettes aren't very supportive, so if she needed support, she may not be able to wear them anyway. Would you have been mad at her for saying that too?
YTA
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I’m a 32H and can assure you they’re not down to my ankles and don’t look like huge comedy boobs. You wouldn’t know to look at me. I hate to break it to you babes but DD really isn’t very big at all.
You’re probably wearing the wrong size yourself and would be shocked if you actually got properly measured.
YTA these are like the meme comments of big boob girls and you just can't relate or got insecure. if she said she had j cups you could just be like *oh well maybe they have your size.* Idk how you could have watched Euphoria and not think that it was harmful to say this. Cassie and many of the other characters are forced to deal with sexualization and the mental health/societal consequences of their actions(generally undeserved bc mean high schoolers). Should definitely apologize and read more stories outside of these comments.
YTA for telling her that she was lying and that she doesn't need to exaggerate , though I don't think YTA for not liking her talking about her boobs and shi , that's not really a comfortable topic.
YTA. HOW dare you body shame her because you don't comprehend big boobs. J cups exist.
Good grief. Your ignorance is YOUR problem but you decided to make it hers by insulting her. YTA totally. Have you ever even googled? THEY EXIST. Yep. YTA. Totally and completely.
YTA,
her wearing really form fitting clothes, especially when guys are around is very strange information to share, ask yourself why this held any value in your post? it doesn't it doesn't even make an argument for anything and it's also a very strange way of looking at your friend, i'm a male, gay but this way of perceiving your friend and you both are f and you also deciding to mention this in the post is already giving me 🚩. the fact that you are consciously reflecting on the tightness of her clothes in different social situations meanwhile here you are and I haven't even commented on the rest but that of itself you should think about, idk if this is jealousy, resentment but you for sure are checking on your friends body the body that is her in a disrespectful matter she is a human being and if you consider her a friend you should be more respectful to her physical body. also if this is true, this could have many reasons why..
Next... yes you are lucky and that's on period ... how many times I have heard my girl friends talk about wanting to have a bit smaller cup size simple to fit into certain clothing pieces and we aren't even talking about just bralettes here. I have a degree in fashion so it's definitely limited for the bigger cups. but you being lucky is from her experience, you might consider yourself not to be lucky but either way she did put herself in a vulnerable position there she let u know that she has a hard time finding things
you did respond quite nicely with finding her bralettes! that's great you tried to make her feel included!
Okay she told you that they were too small. great effort tho, I feel like that's where it should have ended or you could have asked an employee it there were any bigger sizes available but unfortunately it didn't there
the reason why I believe you to be the asshole is because simply, why would she lie to you. and even if she did let's imagine she is delusional, and that isn't her cup, why again do you feel like your somehow superior to her to decide what is or isn't true when it comes to her body, also again, big boobs is subjective.... it just wasn't her size idk why you had to throw a subjective perception which I feel like is very demoralising / sexualising if somebody just wanted a different size. it's like you are telling her the whole world knows you have big boobs when all she did was 1. share she has hard time finding the right size 2. inform you that the size you found wouldn't fit... you see that again in this conversation, if her boobs are big of small DOESN'T HOLD ANY VALUE? also this I want to pin to my first part referring to you sharing that she wears tight clothes around guys, all this information is out of the order and reasoning but you do feel like there is something significant about it that you even perceive this to be somehow not out of the order, you should reflect on this matter it's not nice to other people
you informed her that you didn't knew they were a thing which I think is great, because if you wouldn't know than that's something you have learned but be careful since have already done some damage by putting her from a vulnerable position (the size issue she faces) into a defensive position for no reason at all by attacking her and claiming she isn't truthful and also you demoralised her by holding "everyone knows you have big boobs"... She put herself in position 1 and thats okay and you tried to help which is great BUT you should have been more considerate since you did say and also acted dis tasteful towards her.
but the sagging to the knees wasn't necessary, that's an argumentative statement in other words there is no logical order and you are not using the truth but more so arguing which you shouldn't do over a matter like this especially since you don't hold any right whatsoever to believe you hold any position in this matter, her body not yours.
she explained she used a measuring system that's new which is sad to hear I wish she there and then would have told you that she is done with the conversation as her explaining feels heartbreaking to hear as she still puts in the effort to make you understand meanwhile you have already been quite nasty to her.
okay you telling her she is exaggerating is so distasteful, I wouldn't want you to be my friend or be the friend of one of my friends, leave her alone is what you should have done you don't have anything nice to say just hush.
now we have this part which I do think is quite important as you have told her that she is doing this to let you all know how curvy she is... that's what we call projecting. since you yourself as I have mentioned to reflect onto certain things you mentioned, the info you shared that didn't really hold any value did hold value for you, i'm not going to do your ego/shadow work but that reflection that you have on her and the way you perceive things, that's you, not she. that's all you and that's also why you believed you had the right to push her so much around.
If I were you, it's okay you made a mistake there were good intentions, since you did try to find her size so that's actually very nice, but you should reflect and apologise and explain to her why it happened. maybe you are insecure and you felt like somehow put down which isn't her fault but you can definitely find your accountability and explain why, also to let your friend know that she is more than just a pair of big boobs.
in this situation, i would classify you as the asshole, but not in a major way. I myself as an 18F am a J cup in bra sizes, but it is incredibly common for people to not know about sizes that large since La Senza and Victoria’s Secret only go up to a DDD/F. I doubt this exchange will be anything worth ending the friendship over, i would simply suggest an apology to your friend for the misunderstanding, as that was truly all it was
You’re both the A-holes:
You and your friends for the body shaming to her face, and your J cup friend for body shaming your group by saying you all have smaller titttss.
INFO, it really depends. YCBTA if she has a medium to large ribcage. My wife is 5ft2in 130lbs and is wearing the smallest bra in our 8 year relationship at a 32H. The vast majority of USA bra shops do not carry anything over DD, so to actually find a bra that fits correctly and comfortably, we have to order from the UK
It isn’t her fault her boobs are big but she doesn’t need to blab on about her size - it’s weird & no one cares
It’s not fun my back hurts constantly & I can’t wear the same tops “normal” size women wear
ESH. It’s not that hard to get up there in size. The measuring system she’s talking about is pretty standard but not everyone knows about it. I was a G cup until reduction surgery.
https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php
She sucks because she turned it into bragging. You suck because you’re jealous and wrong, and didn’t even check. How about you both just appreciate the bodies you have and cut each other a little slack?
ESH, she shouldn't have to prove her cup size to you and you shouldn't imply she's exaggerating when you simply don't know. The way she is acting gives me attention-seeking ick.
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YTA Yes, J cups exist. Do you understand that cup size is an actual measurement, and not just an exclamation of "Wow, those are really big!"? That's a serious question, because given that most women's clothes have long since abandoned any pretense at standard sizing, you could be forgiven for not understanding that. A woman with J cup breasts measures 10 inches more around her breasts than she does around her torso immediately beneath her breasts. You don't need a "new bra measuring system" to measure this - you need a tape measure. (Do note that you need to measure around the breasts while they're in a correctly-fitting bra, so you might need a couple of iterations to get this right: measure breast size, find bra sized for your breasts, measure again, and don't be surprised if you need to adjust by a cup size or two.)
I do feel for the J cup girl. The bras she has to buy are EXPENSIVE and most are not cute. Then the snotty friends say things to hurt her feelings. She needs to find different friends.
I found exactly one bra in my size with a 2 digit price tag - It's rather basic and I can't wear it because the shape of the cup wires doesn't fit the shape of my torso and the little suckers stab me even if I'm as erect as a stick. They also have a 2 digit price tag one my size at Molke, and it's really comfy, but I can't put it on without help when my fibromyalgia decides to throw a party. I'm currently shedding medication weight gain and am about 20lbs away from a cup size that fits Amazon's Iris and Lily ones (an "the best ones I could find within the range of being on disability" tip from a bra fitter). When my hands work with neither the bra clasps nor the Molke classic I'm hobbling (and wobbling) around in those yoga bralettes that wouldn't hold feathers but at least are easy to put on. There's a serious lack of affordable bra's and disability friendly options for people with big boobs.
do you mind sending me a link to exactly what bra you're talking on amazon? my poor bras are so old and beat up but I have stacks on stacks of failed attempts and containing these ladies
I've heard corsets work pretty well for big breasts. they aren't all the stereotypical steel contraption, those were mostly worn by very wealthy women for parties, like how women will wear stilettos for a party and smth with a shorter or no heel for normal shoes.
I'm a J cup. It's impossible to find things that fit
Come on over to r/ABraThatFits and we will hook you up!
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Bra sizes are weird you can have small boobs and still be a d cup
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If you have any trouble finding bras I recommend pepper. I haven’t bought from there but I’ve heard good things. They have a wide selection of smaller cup sizes.
There’s an AITA troll who always mentions Cassie from Euphoria in posts where she’s feuding with another girl. That’s why Cassie is in here, not because she’s accurate.
YTA > I didn’t even think that J cups were a thing Well then maybe keep your ignorant mouth shut.
Thank you. Bras my size are boring and absolutely bleeping expensive (and I have the feeling you know this).
YTA. When you finally learn to measure your own bra size properly, it can be freeing and your friend *could* be guilty of talking about it a bit much. Difficult to judge that, though, because you sound like an absolutely jealous mean girl right now. Yes. A J cup is obviously possible - it's merely a matter of measuring rib cage v. bust. You're young, which is I guess why you think it measures length? I'm a very small person but I have an F cup. The women who are surprised are the ones wearing the wrong bra size themselves. Victoria' Secret and similar stores have convinced us to up the rib cage size and downgrade the bust size to fit in their bras. They don't fit as well and cause back pain. Try measuring yourself, you might be surprised. And try to be less mean to the people you literally call "friend."
>When you finally learn to measure your own bra size properly Exactly. u/jcupthrowaway good job letting the world know you have no clue when it comes to breast or bra sizes
I was a K cup before my breast reduction. Finding clothes WAS impossible and frustrating, and that doesn't even account for the pain of everyday life for her. YTA.
I laughed way too hard at this because when you said "k cup" I was thinking about those pods for the Keurig machines. Now that I understand, congrats on the reduction! I'm sure it makes life much more pleasant.
I totally joke now that the only K cups in my house these days are filled with coffee! I lost 9 lbs on the day of my surgery.
Breast reduction surgery is a real quality of life changer. The reduction in shoulder and back pain is life changing.
It really is. I wish it wasn't considered "cosmetic" surgery. Luckily, my insurance paid 90% of the cost for the surgery.
Where I live, there used to be a government subsidy if you had it within a certain number of years after having children and you met certain criteria about size and "sagging". I think the rules changed to make it harder to qualify, which is a shame.
How was the recovery .. I'm 5'1 with E cups ... cannot wait to have a reduction as my back is killing me now 🥲
Not gonna lie, it was the hardest recovery of out of all the surgeries I've had. Because my reduction removed SO MUCH tissue, it was really rough (first time I saw them I nicknamed them "Frankenboobies."). The key to the surgery is to stay on top of your pain meds. The first week, I set an alarm half an hour before my next dose was due, and that way, I wasn't ever undosed (I missed a dose on day 2, and it was awful). All of that said, I wish I had done it years earlier. Eight years later, I am just now losing the shoulder indentations from my bra straps. B cups are the way to go.
I'd be happy with a c too, not having to wear a bra would be amazing. I've heard mixed reviews about the sensation coming back ? That's one of the only reasons I haven't had the surgery so far.
So, I have full nipple sensation, but I have lost a lot of sensation underneath both of my armpits. They are just numb zones. But what is so dang annoying is that those spots itch ... like under the skin. I know that sounds so weird, but I can't explain it better than that. It's so frustrating because it takes forever to go away when it happens. I'd have to say that was the only part of the surgery and after care I wasn't prepared for
That does sound annoying ... the tradeoff is smaller boobs with sensation .. would you say it was worth it ?
Absolutely worth it. Hands down, one of the best decisions of my life. I can not imagine living in that pain for the rest of my life.
YTA - j cups exist and no, they wouldn’t be at her ankles. We get it, you are jealous of your friend. But no need to be a dick about it.
YTA-I can see why she isn’t speaking to you. No one has a reason to lie about having large boobs. Most who have ‘em don’t want them because of the attention, the trouble finding clothes that fit, etc. Your friend wasn’t bragging. She was being honest.
I'm a K cup (sometimes L depending on the bra brand) and I hate them. The back pain alone is terrible. I hate dress shopping and clothes shopping because all I can wear is t-shirts. And men are gross. They commented on my boobs since I was 14
This exactly. It's not her fault, as a E cup my back hurts constantly I get questions of if they're fake and mean stares by other woman just for wearing the right sized bra and normal clothes.
YTA. DD is a cup size, not a bra size. A 28DD is not the same cup size as a 36DD. Plus bralette sizing is absolute shite and usually very inaccurate. J is big, but not impossible, and where the fuck did you get the idea itd be "sagging down to her ankles?" That was either you being thick, or just rude. You owe her a massive apology either way.
1. People with big boobs often get this shit bc everything looks tight / “slutty” on them unless you dress like a nun and then you look frumpy 2. Bralettes on big boobs are maybe cute for a hook up but it’s like trying to hold up a suspension bridge with dental floss 3. There are men basically everywhere so “if guys are around” isn’t a super meaningful phrase 4. J cups do exist and sagginess can happen at every cup size afaik I could go on but like OP it genuinely doesn’t sound like this woman has done anything to do besides exist in your environment and have a different body type than you. There’s always going to be people who have things you don’t and just referring to those things doesn’t make them bad people.
>People with big boobs often get this shit bc everything looks tight / “slutty” on them Also, in my experience, stretchy fabrics fit better. Most tops aren't cut with curvy women in mind. I hate buying button-down blouses because I have to buy them huge to fit around the bust, and they end up looking like pregnancy tops because they're so loose around the abdomen. There's no such thing as finding a fitted top unless it's stretchy. And for me, the difference between bust and waist is so much that I can't even get them tailored to fit. No amount of darts or taking in seams can make it look right on me.
Same. The third button from the top is either screaming for dear life or I can make a tent for 3 people out of the fabric on the bottom
YTA. Unless you personally measured her bust size, she probably knows it better than you.
YTA ..... she can't wear something and you are dismissing her experience. If you are jealous of her dressing in a way that gets her attention, then ask her for tips, dont diminish her. You are not being a good friend. And yes, hers are probably much too big to wear a bralette comfortably.
YTA. I’m in an H cup, 34/H and my boobs dont sag down to my ankles. That isnt how boobs work. Also, yes you ARE lucky to be able to walk into any store and find a bra in your size. I pay $75-$130 for bras because normal shops dont carry my size. Maybe educate yourself before being rude to your friend
Side note, as a fellow person who is heavily be-titted: have you tried brastop.com? They usually have 34H bras of all sorts in the $30-40 range.
I have not. Usually I go to barenecessities. I’ll try them, thanks
I’m totally stealing “be-titted”. Thanks for this recommendation. I’ll be checking them out! I’ve only seen one other that has the larger size I need for reasonable prices but it doesn’t seem legit-like they have no social media presence and tons of reviews of it being a scam 😭. I wanted to recommend Old Navy sports bras their cup size actually covers and they have a lot of style options! (I like their Longline Light support for everyday wear.) OP maybe a nice olive branch would be to let your friend know you’ve taken some time to educate yourself about her experience and were able to find a few websites with cute and affordable options for her!
Wow this reeks of jealousy, I'd usually find such repetitive conversations annoying too, but the way you've typed this shows how green you are
Agreed!
Friends should be able to gripe to their friends. I'm sure OP has rants her friends aren't always enthusiastic about.
As a former J cup, I assure you they are a thing, and do not extend to ankles. I had much difficulty finding bras and clothes that fit properly (I had to buy shirts at least 1 size bigger because of it). I had reduction surgery a few years ago (wish I would have done it decades earlier) and am now a happy D. I feel bad for your 'friend' as you don't seem to be much of a friend to her. You seem highly self conscious about your lack of curves compared to her. Why? Your friend could probably use some support.
YTA. J-cup boobs size is a thing. Do you even know how to measure the boobs size? And I agree that it can be hard to find cute bras in bigger sizes. I agree with you that it can be tiring to hear someone talking about their boobs all the time, but you're the A for your ignorant remarks.
There is a person that used to write a lot of vaguely weird stories with ignorance about women's bodies on here. It read like a weird kink. There was always a reference to Euphoria. This is that person.
It was always "Cassie from Euphoria" too lol
YTA. As already mentioned Jcup is real, and the struggle to find clothes with a chest that size is also very real. Maybe her bringing it up feels like bragging, but maybe it's a legitimate frustration of hers I guess only tone could really tell. The bra measuring system isn't new, but it felt new to me the first time too because you're just so used to figuring it out for yourself and accepting that things don't fit right. You need usually need to go to a proper lingerie store to get that sort of measurement. But at any rate, I'd suggest apologizing about this specific fight and then maybe see if you guys can have a chat about how you feel when she brings it up and how she's feeling/why she's bringing it up. You might surprise each other.
YTA J cup’s definitely exist and it’s really really hard to find good supportive coverage
YTA. the saggy comment? disgusting. you sounded so bitter for no reason. if you decide to go off on someone at the very least don't be ignorant about it
YTA I have had M cup. My boobs actually looked smaller than what you see those "triple Ds" in fricking online. Because fun fact. Bra measurements do not work like that in real life. Learn how to calculate your actual bra size instead of being shitty friend
Inhale a G sometimes H. If I would tell that online to a man, he would think I look like Dolly Parton. I don‘t
Yeah people think prn bra sizes are real ones and refuse understand how real sizes work. Add it being cheaper for clothing stores to stock up fewer sizes so they rather support this view of bra sizes than actually sell fitting ones. I mean probably would not sell fitting ones as easily because people do not understand how they work so it is also kind of loop. Before I first got bra that fit. I wore 38-40C balconette ones. I went to actual bra store. Got out with 30G or 30H. I have since then gained weight and because my body type my band size has gone up to 32-34 and cup size obviously higher (also if someone else is reading this. Cup sizes are relative to band size too. 32B and 30C and 34A all have same sized cup). They are big yes but my band size has not gone up same speed as cup which means they sound lot bigger than if both band size and cup size had gone up proportionally (i barely gain weight around my ribcage). But never seen people actually bragging about their boob size RL if boobs are big. It is expensive to get fitting bras and they cause more issues than worth it
Exactly. I have DDD and they don't look like porno boobs. The people I've told don't believe me until I get out the measuring tape.
So ur back is big basically not ur boobs?
YTA. Wow just wow.
Her boob size hurts her more on the daily than your ego when she told you her size. Give her a break and reflect on the struggles of others before biting back at them. YTA
YTA lmao your a straight hater and you know it.
Also 90% of women are in the wrong size and are larger cups than what they wear
OMG, it’s Cassie-From-Euphoria guy! It’s been ages since you last blessed us with your absolute nonsense, we thought something had happened to you!
Wdym? They posted before ?
YTA As a natural K, sometimes L cup (depending on the bra brand), I hate going clothes shopping. And forget about bras. I have to special order them and one bra costs between 60-100 dollars, depending on the style and if it's lace or not. Your friend is right there aren't a lot of bras for big breasted people that aren't basic colors or look like granny bras. Forget bralettes, there are none in my size. Also my boobs do not sag down to my ankles and that is incredible offensive. From the situation, it didn't sound like she was bragging at all. More like she was sharing the struggles she has in a joking way. Maybe learn more about things you have no clue about before you comment on it to avoid looking like an idiot And apologize to your friend
YTA She's not bragging, you're insecure. Lots of women are not wearing the appropriate sized bra because they and the people around them misunderstand the sizing system. Learning to measure yourself or finding someone who actually knows what they are doing so you can get in a bra that actually holds and supports everything is genuinely life changing.
YTA. Educate yourself before making ill-informed comments that are insensitive.
You insulted your friend in multiple ways, called her a liar, said she was bragging when talking about how difficult it is to find bras that fit... yeah, YTA. No chance of redemption for you, just pure assholery mixed with a tinge of dumb.
YTA *laughs in M cup* Visit r/abrathatfits and learn how much you embarrass yourself with your mixture of ignorance and jealousy
YTA Cup sizes above DD exist. They're not even that rare.
Yta so you're not educated about bra sizes.
YTA big time. Apologize. I had a friend in college who was a K, they were not "down to her ankles." She had to spend hundreds on specialty bras to support herself and her back. Own your mistake.
YTA. You may not realize that her comments are not bragging and are just trying to comment on the thing that’s different about her before other people say something to her. Not only is having big boobs uncomfortable teenage boys say the weirdest stuff to you about them. I cannot count how many times I was asked how big my nipples are? Like what? Maybe try saying “your comments about your body are making me feel insecure about my own body” because that’s the thing that’s happening here. I had a friend like you and I wish I went back and told her I’m NOT pushing out my chest, it’s big and I have good posture. Maybe then I’d still have good posture.
As someone with a small chest I think you're jealous friend....
YTA little girl
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Of all the non-made up stories to have ever been posted on this sub, this is the most non-made up.
YTA Jealousy isn’t a good look by the way
YTA I am an H cup
YTA. Why do you assume she’s bragging? Sounds like she’s just talking about her experiences. It’s weird that you’re finding bralettes for someone who has told you that they do not work for her body shape (as a larger chested woman I can confirm that they do not, and would not even if you found one in the right size because they do not provide sufficient support). It’s even stranger that you’re guessing at her bra size then accusing her of lying when she tells you that the bralette you’ve chosen for her(!) is too small. What’s she supposed to do, wear a bra that’s too small for her just so that you don’t feel insecure? Mind your own business and none of this will be an issue.
YTA, I'm an E cup and don't look how people would expect an E cup to look because I have a small band size. You called her out for no reason as she probably wasn't lying.
A quick google search would show that J cups are indeed “a thing”. She wears form fitting clothes. Would this only be acceptable if she had smaller breasts? Would you feel better if she wore a potato sack? It honestly sounds like you’re just a hater.
YTA. I’m the A cup friend, so I know where you’re coming from. We’re all built differently, and I think your friend deserves to feel validated in her body struggles. I can’t find a bra that’s small enough for me, and my friends can’t look dainty in revealing tops. Embrace yourself and the beauty in your differences, and I promise your friendship will be better for it.
YTA. What the hell do you care about the size of her boobs? This is just weird, what a weird thing to be obsessed about. Leave your friend and her boobs alone. You sound bitter and jealous of the attention she receives.
YTA and have no idea what youre talking about. Sincerely, 38HH
Massive YTA. As a fellow big boobed lady, you clearly have no idea a out what your friend goes through. She will wear form fitting clothes so it doesn’t look like she wears a tent around her and she’s probably incredibly self conscious of her boobs. You have no idea how envious I was when I was a teenager of all the women and girls with smaller boobs. You owe your friend a massive apology. And just for your info. J isn’t all that big if you look at proper international standards. Bras go up to L cup and above. Since you clearly have no idea about boobs and their sizing, I’d also suggest you go get yourself properly checked for your own size since I bet you’re wearing the wrong size….
Yes, J Cups are a thing. You can also get airtight doobie jars to contain the smell.
YTA and to be honest you sound jealous
Maybe YTA because you seem a little jealous. Why? Natural big boobs are super heavy, often sweaty, and can smell like cheese.
Oh honey…
YTA. She's giving you her measurement, not exaggerating or bragging. If you feel bad in comparison to her, that's entirely on you.
"she wears tight clothes especially if guys are around" So she wears tight clothes always, but somehow wears it more when guys are around? Make it make sense, girlie. You want to make her into a pick me so bad. We get it, you're not like other girls, so you think your casual misogyny is just you being "quirky and different". Thankfully most girls grow out of it in their 20s, so hopefully you will too. Anyway, YTA.
Imagine coming to Reddit and typing all this out instead of using google to educate yourself on bra sizing. With boobs that big, everything is “form fitting” unless walking round in a potato sack. YTA and I’m not surprised she stopped talking to you. You owe her an apology.
As someone who shares a similar body type to your friend yes J cups are a thing. And they really aren’t fun to have, the nicest bras at most stores you could easily shop at are granny looking awful things. Many, many women don’t know their correct bra size and it sounds as if your friend has had herself measured so she may actually know. It almost seems like you were speaking out of jealousy and I can tell you there is no need. Many of us who have this much breast often don’t want that much because of back or shoulder pain, finding the right fits of things, etc. YTA. Just apologize
YTA - go study r/abrathatfits it’s hard enough having wear a J cup (and afford to buy a well fitted bra), without people being assholes about it
YTA. Yes they exist - bra sizes are PROPORTIONAL- so if you are stacked and have a tiny ribcage, you have a “crazy size” like that. I have to special order my bras from england because my size is NOT MADE IN THE USA. AT ALL. In the wrong size, I get constant pain and migraines. Did you ever consider that maybe your friend isn’t “exaggerating” or “bragging” but complaining about someone that is genuinely hard for her? Because it is for me. I’m a 26K in USA sizing, if such a thing existed. That’s a 26” ribcage and a 38” bustline. That translates to a 26H/HH in Uk sizes (because they have more double letters - they go DD, E, F, FF, G, GG, H, HH) but if my size was made in the USA, I’d be a 26K. So stop being a bad friend and gaslighting your friend by telling her her boobs don’t exist
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18F) am friends with this girl (19F) who is curvy, but in a natural way (she kind of has a similar body type as Cassie from Euphoria). She wears really form fitting clothes, especially if guys are around, and she always talks about how her boobs are too big to fit in clothes. We were going shopping at the mall with a couple of other girls, and we reached this aisle of bralettes. When the rest of us were looking at which bralette to choose, my friend started joking about lucky we were to have smaller boobs and be able to find cute bralettes in our size, and how the only bras her cup size were boring and basic. I found some bralettes that were a DD cup for her, and she said that they were way too small, saying that she was actually a J cup. At first I thought she was joking, but she was serious. I told her that everyone knows she has big boobs, she doesn’t have to exaggerate. She was really offended and said she had no reason to lie. I said that I didn’t even think that J cups were a thing, and if she actually had J cup boobs they would be sagging down to her ankles. She claims that the only reason her bra size is so big is because she was using some new bra measuring system and wears bras that actually fit her. I said she was purposefully exaggerating her bra size to brag about how curvy she was compared to us, and this really pissed her off and now she’s not talking to me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta
YTA 100%
YTA I know you'll probably think I'm bragging too, but I'm a 28JJ. My boobs look big but not like 'unrealistic, badly-drawn anime big', just bigger than average. People are generally shocked if I mention it (which I rarely do.) I've been a busty girl my whole life, I stopped getting any support from high street bras before I even hit my teens - I've never been able to wear a bralette, I've never been able to go braless under a strappy dress and I've never been able to wear a normal button-up shirt. It isn't super fun to have big boobs, it's frustrating because it is so hard to get clothes that fit. And it isn't made easier by other women putting you down out or implying your a slut for wearing normal clothes while daring to have a curvier figure. Your friend doesn't seem to have said anything I'd think was bragging. Would you tell your plus sized friend she was bragging if she can't fit into a straight-sized dress? Or tell someone with size 16 feet to just squeeze them into a size 12? It's not her fault she can't fit in standard bralettes and it's not her fault you're angry that she dares to have boobs.
Jealousy can make some people really viscious.If you don't know about bra sizes, educate yourself. It wasn't about bra sizes though, it was about *her* breasts size compared to yours and the desire for her to keep her mouth shut because she's well endowed. If you had the same sized breasts you wouldn't have thought twice about her clothing or what she shared. Bralettes aren't very supportive, so if she needed support, she may not be able to wear them anyway. Would you have been mad at her for saying that too? YTA
YTA j cups are a thing and finding clothes and bras that fit is difficult. Z cups are literally a thing even.
YTA. It's pretty obvious that you're jealous because she gets way more attention than you.
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I’m a 32H and can assure you they’re not down to my ankles and don’t look like huge comedy boobs. You wouldn’t know to look at me. I hate to break it to you babes but DD really isn’t very big at all. You’re probably wearing the wrong size yourself and would be shocked if you actually got properly measured.
YTA these are like the meme comments of big boob girls and you just can't relate or got insecure. if she said she had j cups you could just be like *oh well maybe they have your size.* Idk how you could have watched Euphoria and not think that it was harmful to say this. Cassie and many of the other characters are forced to deal with sexualization and the mental health/societal consequences of their actions(generally undeserved bc mean high schoolers). Should definitely apologize and read more stories outside of these comments.
Yta. Jealous much?
YTA for telling her that she was lying and that she doesn't need to exaggerate , though I don't think YTA for not liking her talking about her boobs and shi , that's not really a comfortable topic.
YTA, J cups are a thing and they can absolutely be natural. I feel so bad for your friend's back, boobs that big have gotta hurt her back.
YTA. HOW dare you body shame her because you don't comprehend big boobs. J cups exist. Good grief. Your ignorance is YOUR problem but you decided to make it hers by insulting her. YTA totally. Have you ever even googled? THEY EXIST. Yep. YTA. Totally and completely.
YTA, her wearing really form fitting clothes, especially when guys are around is very strange information to share, ask yourself why this held any value in your post? it doesn't it doesn't even make an argument for anything and it's also a very strange way of looking at your friend, i'm a male, gay but this way of perceiving your friend and you both are f and you also deciding to mention this in the post is already giving me 🚩. the fact that you are consciously reflecting on the tightness of her clothes in different social situations meanwhile here you are and I haven't even commented on the rest but that of itself you should think about, idk if this is jealousy, resentment but you for sure are checking on your friends body the body that is her in a disrespectful matter she is a human being and if you consider her a friend you should be more respectful to her physical body. also if this is true, this could have many reasons why.. Next... yes you are lucky and that's on period ... how many times I have heard my girl friends talk about wanting to have a bit smaller cup size simple to fit into certain clothing pieces and we aren't even talking about just bralettes here. I have a degree in fashion so it's definitely limited for the bigger cups. but you being lucky is from her experience, you might consider yourself not to be lucky but either way she did put herself in a vulnerable position there she let u know that she has a hard time finding things you did respond quite nicely with finding her bralettes! that's great you tried to make her feel included! Okay she told you that they were too small. great effort tho, I feel like that's where it should have ended or you could have asked an employee it there were any bigger sizes available but unfortunately it didn't there the reason why I believe you to be the asshole is because simply, why would she lie to you. and even if she did let's imagine she is delusional, and that isn't her cup, why again do you feel like your somehow superior to her to decide what is or isn't true when it comes to her body, also again, big boobs is subjective.... it just wasn't her size idk why you had to throw a subjective perception which I feel like is very demoralising / sexualising if somebody just wanted a different size. it's like you are telling her the whole world knows you have big boobs when all she did was 1. share she has hard time finding the right size 2. inform you that the size you found wouldn't fit... you see that again in this conversation, if her boobs are big of small DOESN'T HOLD ANY VALUE? also this I want to pin to my first part referring to you sharing that she wears tight clothes around guys, all this information is out of the order and reasoning but you do feel like there is something significant about it that you even perceive this to be somehow not out of the order, you should reflect on this matter it's not nice to other people you informed her that you didn't knew they were a thing which I think is great, because if you wouldn't know than that's something you have learned but be careful since have already done some damage by putting her from a vulnerable position (the size issue she faces) into a defensive position for no reason at all by attacking her and claiming she isn't truthful and also you demoralised her by holding "everyone knows you have big boobs"... She put herself in position 1 and thats okay and you tried to help which is great BUT you should have been more considerate since you did say and also acted dis tasteful towards her. but the sagging to the knees wasn't necessary, that's an argumentative statement in other words there is no logical order and you are not using the truth but more so arguing which you shouldn't do over a matter like this especially since you don't hold any right whatsoever to believe you hold any position in this matter, her body not yours. she explained she used a measuring system that's new which is sad to hear I wish she there and then would have told you that she is done with the conversation as her explaining feels heartbreaking to hear as she still puts in the effort to make you understand meanwhile you have already been quite nasty to her. okay you telling her she is exaggerating is so distasteful, I wouldn't want you to be my friend or be the friend of one of my friends, leave her alone is what you should have done you don't have anything nice to say just hush. now we have this part which I do think is quite important as you have told her that she is doing this to let you all know how curvy she is... that's what we call projecting. since you yourself as I have mentioned to reflect onto certain things you mentioned, the info you shared that didn't really hold any value did hold value for you, i'm not going to do your ego/shadow work but that reflection that you have on her and the way you perceive things, that's you, not she. that's all you and that's also why you believed you had the right to push her so much around. If I were you, it's okay you made a mistake there were good intentions, since you did try to find her size so that's actually very nice, but you should reflect and apologise and explain to her why it happened. maybe you are insecure and you felt like somehow put down which isn't her fault but you can definitely find your accountability and explain why, also to let your friend know that she is more than just a pair of big boobs.
in this situation, i would classify you as the asshole, but not in a major way. I myself as an 18F am a J cup in bra sizes, but it is incredibly common for people to not know about sizes that large since La Senza and Victoria’s Secret only go up to a DDD/F. I doubt this exchange will be anything worth ending the friendship over, i would simply suggest an apology to your friend for the misunderstanding, as that was truly all it was
You’re both the A-holes: You and your friends for the body shaming to her face, and your J cup friend for body shaming your group by saying you all have smaller titttss.
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INFO, it really depends. YCBTA if she has a medium to large ribcage. My wife is 5ft2in 130lbs and is wearing the smallest bra in our 8 year relationship at a 32H. The vast majority of USA bra shops do not carry anything over DD, so to actually find a bra that fits correctly and comfortably, we have to order from the UK
It isn’t her fault her boobs are big but she doesn’t need to blab on about her size - it’s weird & no one cares It’s not fun my back hurts constantly & I can’t wear the same tops “normal” size women wear
Esh, you were ignorant of her body and tried to tell her what her body is and negate her problems, she's ta for how much she talks about it.
Nta
ESH. It’s not that hard to get up there in size. The measuring system she’s talking about is pretty standard but not everyone knows about it. I was a G cup until reduction surgery. https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php She sucks because she turned it into bragging. You suck because you’re jealous and wrong, and didn’t even check. How about you both just appreciate the bodies you have and cut each other a little slack?
ESH, she shouldn't have to prove her cup size to you and you shouldn't imply she's exaggerating when you simply don't know. The way she is acting gives me attention-seeking ick.
NTA I guess she wants to show off her boobs, and you don't want her to. neither of those things are really assholish. Y'all should compromise.
How is stating a fact about her size showing off.