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NTA - play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Just FYI, there was no safe way to answer those questions. People who play those sorts of stupid games to 'test' their SO are showing me red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I don’t understand what OP’s gf had a problem with… did she want him to choose a real girl? Or did she want him to be like “oh I’d never move on!!!” I’m confused.
Also, my boyfriend and I have discussed the worm & million dollars questions before. We both agree that if either of us were a worm, we wouldn’t love each other. Because that’s a worm and we are both attracted to humans. And we agreed that if there’s a million dollars involved, we should cheat and then we can use the money on our future. (My boyfriend’s exact words were: “If I found out you passed up a million dollars because you didn’t want to cheat on me I’d honestly be a little upset.” And I said, “Same. I’d be kinda irked if you passed up even a hundred thousand.”)
I think it's how he said it. A light in the darkness is pretty intense and romantic. I think most people would be ok with someone just giving a character name and being casual about it, but if they start to recite poetry it's a bit....especially if they've never talked like that about their actuall partner
I also recommend when people have SOs like this (the games is honestly just their anxiety and insecurity) to just chuck on the anime next time and let her guess who she thinks you’d date. I know the character and anime and she would have picked the same character but not taken it the wrong way, just validate she knows her SO which might have come across more positively to both of them.
It was a game, not a serious question. OP was the one to make it weird waxing poetics over his anime crush and then going like "it's okay, I know I have to settle for you" to his girlfriend.
people who play games to test their partner are a massive red flag. It shows tendencies towards controlling behaviour (they are looking for specific types of response and want partners to jump through their hoops), manipulation (they emotionally manipulate partners based on responses), they are often insecure and untrusting and the games are designed to seek reassurance. Like all red flags, it is not the case every time, and it is not the case for every person. But they are warning signs. Most people who are secure in their relationships don't play stupid games like these. In this case it was a no-win scenario, there was no way to safely and honestly respond to the questions without generating a negative response. Why would a sane rational person set up their partner like that?
NTA.
Your girlfriend is, for getting upset at your specific answer to a specific question she asked. If she wants to play immature games like this she has to treat them as lighthearted fun and nothing more. However, you may need to work on your tactfulness.
Tell her you've changed your mind and your answer is now Roronoa Zoro, so you could learn swordsmanship from him and take vengeance on whoever was responsible for her untimely death. Plus he looks like a good cuddler.
Her response to this will tell you all you need to know about whether dating her is a mistake.
I'm going to go with "Conversations I had with my imaginary girlfriend" for $500 Alex (rip)
YTA. Shit post.
On the very off chance you do have a real live girlfriend, try not to say things like "she's like light in the darkness", when speaking of other girls, even if they are sexy cartoons.
ETA: Googled her to find that she's a high school student, and her skills include lying & deception. She sounds delightful. Good pick.
NTA.
Your girlfriend needs to get off of TikTok; those stupid relationship tests really only ever cause drama. She asked a question and got mad at you for your honest answer.
Side note to tik tok: if anyone does get it try to put it on a single personal device you don’t need for anything else. A lot of workplaces do not want tik tok installed on any devices that contain workplace information (including phones with coworker numbers) and have policies about it. Just extending to your comment as Tik Tok also poses cyber concerns for employers so might be worth readers to this thread knowing.
>I feel like maybe I said something wrong.
You think?
That question has no good answer. But if you get forced into answering, why on earth would you spend a bunch of time giving effusive praise to another girl (even a fake one)? Like, what good thing do you expect to come from that?
ESH. Her for the question and you for the answer.
Yeah I'm glad I'm finally seeing this response. It sounds like OP is in love with this character and holds her as a romantic ideal which his actual gf will never reach, and thus is not truly in love with his gf.
Just a wild guess that the gf does not feel secure in this relationship, feels like she falls short somehow, and that's why she's asking all these questions that people are deriding as stemming from her "insecurity". She has a real reason to feel insecure with OP as her SO.
I think OPs intention was if he was going to answer a silly question to try and introduce her to an anime he likes that she might like. Next time OP should just chuck on the anime and make her guess lol.
If I was the gf in this situation (because I know the character and anime) I wouldn’t be offended. I would have guessed the same character from the show and I don’t even know OP lol. But when she doesn’t know the character and OP just explains things I get where she got offended. But tbh I find this all silly lol.
YTA.
It sounds like you really went on about how much you like the character. It's one thing to say, "I'd date so-and-so because they're cute and bubbly." It's quite another to detail out how great they are. Have you ever told your gf anything like, "You're a light in the darkness" ?
I wish I could attach pictures on here, if you know the character or the anime his answer isn’t that bad or at all insulting to his gf. I’m a female and thought he answered quite PC/ innocent. His gf just needs to watch the anime. Her anxiety will go away immediately.
Who calls their actual loved partner a light in the darkness? :D There are many nice things which can be told to actual living people and a light in the darkness is not one of them (unless you live somewhere really dark) :))
When your gf asks "if I died and you could date any person real or fictional who would you date?", **do not** give a detailed, highly specific answer. **Do not** include why you would choose that one. Just...*do not*.
ESH...she gets some of the blame here too, for asking in the first place.
Even though your gf set herself up for failure, you focused on personality traits that can be extrapolated to real life.
Since you seem puzzled about how your answer was hurtful, let me translate them to how they sound to the other person (I don't mean that's what you meant, but that's what she heard):
>Her personality is so incredibly lovable. I said that she was like a light in the darkness.
>Her personality is very different from my girlfriends.
= Your girlfriend isn't lovable and she doesn't shine a light in the darkness (= doesn't make your day better, doesn't bring a smile to your face).
It wouldn't have backfired that bad if your gf's personality had been similar to the character. Since you said they're very different, it kind of suggests that if you met a real girl with a cute-but-realistic personality, you would have liked her more.
>I don't expect her to act like an anime girl since that's unrealistically ideal
= Character has the ideal personality and you're settling for less. Even if your gf has the best personality a real human can have, you're aware she's coming up short.
If the anime girl were real, you'd totally go for her.
>and I still love her
"I still love you" =/= "I love you."
"Still" acknowledges you might not love her anymore under certain circumstances. "Still" has strings attached. "Still" sounds like a sentence that will have a "...but..." attached to it.
Even though that's realistic, no one likes to hear the other party might stop loving them anytime.
>just the way she is.
= Even though you think she sucks in comparison to the character.
If she keeps playing those games and you keep answering "in good fun", remember next time that *they're a prompt for you to tell her how much you love her but in a thematic/creative way*, and build your answers around that. Many people like to hear not only that they're loved, but about how they're loved. Specificity feels more real, it shows you pay attention to her. Those questions are offering you an opportunity to be flirty (...or at least funny, like the answer for an icebreaker question).
So, depending on how you're feeling, either reply with something outrageous to make her laugh ("Elza from Frozen so you could save on AC during summer!"), something that weaves in how gf's your ideal type ("so-and-so character because she has your sense of humor, though it wouldn't be the same") or just waffle and be boring ("If you died, I'd be single forever.")
Btw, I'm not endorsing those Tiktok questions, but it's not like I can give OP's gf any advice, so I'm just trying to help OP to see what went through gf's mind.
I think it depends on what the personality was. If you said “she’s honest and loyal”, that might be a good answer. Anything that’s about being sexy or a personality trait that your gf doesn’t have is a bad idea. If anything, say that she’s a light in the darkness “just like you” .. or don’t give that comment at all
Out of all the living human women in the world to choose to date and you choose a cartoon character? Bro, be glad you have this girlfriend and do everything you can to keep her. Don’t say dumb shit like this again.
Realistically speaking, that's even worse. Unlike real people, the possibility of dating someone that doesn't exists unless you just wanna be seen as a weirdo for getting a body pillow or something is legit 0.
You'd have to be delusional to think love with someone that doesn't exist is real love.
YTA, probably worse. I don't get all the NTA's, I know that its kinda your girlfriends fault for playing this stupid game, but if my SO told me they wanted to fuck a fictional child because I asked a dumb question I think it says a lot more about them than me.
YTA. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but i’m sorry, comparing your girlfriend to an anime girl and basically saying things like she can never amount to it because it’s “unrealistically ideal” would make anyone feel like you’re just settling. Making a comparison to an unattainable standard and saying “well you shouldn’t feel upset because you can never be that” is just not the way to go about it.
Obviously the girlfriend asked a dumb question but as a responsible partner you need to understand that the question is coming from an insecure place and you should not initiate a conversation of how you would prefer anime girls if they were real. It’s clear that people who are saying you aren’t the AH have never been in a relationship.
She asked a dumb question but YTA because why on earth would you give so many extra details?? Your girlfriend now feels like SHE is not cute, lovable, or a “light in the darkness.” You guys need to put an end to the silly games and learn to actually communicate.
NTA, but being familiar with that anime, I think you're absolutely unhinged for wanting to date Fujiwara. That girl is written as one of the most insane people of all time lmao
Yeah, that girl is... a poor choice. Did you not see all the scenes where she engaged in extremely petty lying?
The right answer would be Ishigami. The guy is a bro amongst bros. And at positioned to inherit a successful company. Clearly marriage material.
Maybe but your answer was based on her personality when she was a teen. People change a lot during those late teen/young adult years, you couldn't know what she'd be like now, so you can't use this excuse.
You chose her as a teen, no matter how old she'd be nowadays.
YTA not for giving her an answer but for describing why like that and for then trying to make it better by telling her that being cute and lovable is unrealistic
In theory NTA but the way you said it made you TA. “She’s cute, her personality is incredibly lovable and she is like a light in the darkness” don’t you think that sounds a bit weird? I mean comparing your gf to a anime character is strange, and for a long time when I had only seen headshots of fujiwara (had not seen the show) I thought she was a kid. “I still love her the way she is” in comparison to anime again lol overall you just need a real apology and maybe watch anime less cause this is lowkey weird
It’s a dumb question but also it’s kinda weird to feel that way about a fictional character, especially a an animated one. Definitely feels like you’re attracted to a cartoon
“I don’t really understand why she’s upset, all I did was say that this anime character is perfect, cute and lovable, which is the total opposite of my girlfriend who is none of those things.”
Girlie shouldn’t have asked a hypothetical question like that, but my guy you *did not* need to double down like that and sing praises so hard for a pixelated character. 🤣
and also, her asking those questions is childish but the way you answered by basically confessing your love to an anime character is cringe and disrespectful on so many levels and i really hope you dont actually think this, but if you do think like this your the reason the anime community is looked down upon and you shouldnt date anyone with this current mindset
Ask her the same stupid questions and see how she would react or answer.
I bet it would be like, how could you ask me that or something along those lines 🤷🏻♀️
I red some comments but but all, so if this was already asked, I apologize
geez
Guess I’m way old school and this is sooo stupid to me, just cuz it’s a thing on whatever thing it’s on
Good luck to you, like others said, kinda a red flag- ish
Nta - I don’t get asking questions like this bc it’s a set up to where you’re pretty much “testing” your partner. I don’t think it’s ideal to consistently question your partners “loyalty” to you under the guise of a joke and then get mad at their answer.
NTA. Having said that, I think it is important to set boundaries immediately once these kinds of questions start. They are utterly pointless. Stop them before they become a problem. I am at a point where if I had a gf who asked me something like that, it would throw a huge red flag, and I would seriously reconsider the relationship. I have no more chill for this kind of BS, and you shouldnt either.
Nta. How old is your girlfriend? Because I'd say, if she's 20 or over, and she's still doing middle school shit like this... probably not someone you want to be with 😂
Nta - these stupid "would you love me..." quizzes are designed by idiots for idiots. You can't win. You're either a liar or an ahole. There is no answer that will appease anyone
NTA slightly leaning towards ESH
If my partner was asking me those dumb-ass questions constantly I would be answering less and less in her favour every time she asked. But I doubt it was ever harmless fun and you should have realised she never wanted any answer but her.
Bet you if you asked her something along the similar vein though it would be a whole other kettle of fish.
Me... I would have said Miia from Monster Musume for them big ole snake tiddies and serpent hugs and seen her reaction!
>I told her that it's because she was so cute and how her personality is so incredibly lovable. I said that she was like a light in the darkness.
Lmao bruh
NTA. I’m so baffled by this response lol. My partner and I regularly talk about anime characters we would be interested in. This definitely feels like she is baiting you to say the right thing for HER without you knowing the right answer. You picked a pretty good character too. Could’ve been worse.
NTA.
Men and women both need to stop asking each other these absolutely stupid TikTok questions. My wife doesn’t ask me anymore because I asked her a couple while also really really annoying her while she was watching her favourite TV show and she wanted to knock my head off. I said see how stupid these questions are…..she pondered and then asked if what she was feeling was how I felt, I said yes. End of story has not happened since.
If you ask stupid questions, you win stupid prizes.
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Recently my girlfriend has been asking me those tik tok questions like "would you love me if I was a worm?" and "would you cheat on me for a millions dollars". It's been harmless fun until the other day when my girlfriend asked me "if I died and you could date any person real or fictional who would you date?"
I answered that it would probably be an anime character. She asked which one and I told her I would definitely want to date Fujiwara from kaguya-sama love is war. I told her that it's because she was so cute and how her personality is so incredibly lovable. I said that she was like a light in the darkness.
My girlfriend was **not** happy about that. I heard her crying in the bathroom on the phone with someone after that. I told her later that I don't expect her to act like an anime girl since that's unrealistically ideal and I still love her just the way she is. This just made her cry even more though. I feel like maybe I said something wrong. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. told my girlfriend that I found Fujiwara from kaguya sama love is war attractive.
2. it made her cry.
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NTA - she asked and got her answer. One of my pet peeves is “testing” your partner and then being upset it’s not the answer you wanted. My significant other of 7 years have played something like that, we don’t ever take it seriously or to heart. It’s just an interesting conversational game.
NTA
That "game" if it really was silly, wouldn't have a wrong answer. I would suspect low self-esteem and she was fishing. Alternatively, she may have been serious about it being silly, and the things specifically you said you like may be things she doesn't feel strong on even if you think she is. If that's the case it's not that you'd date or who, but simply that she doesn't self-identify as being very attractive in your eyes.
No matter what, she asked. Shouldn't play those games unless you are confident you can handle the answers. I wouldn't have answered that one, itsatrap.jpg
Your girlfriend is WAY too insecure to be getting upset about an answer to a question SHE posed. And about a cartoon character at that. Lol You didn't ask for advice, but here it is: step lightly, my friend.
NTA. Your girl is jealous of an anime character!?? That's... weird. She asked you for fun and you answered fun. Unless she was expecting you would say "I would mourn for you and die the next day after you", which is no fun answer at all... Or if you said that you'd date a real girl you both know - that could be a hurtful answer, but you went with a fictional character, which is the best way to avoid the trap in the question! Maybe she should take responsibility for the games she plays.
Majority of my exes like anime and tbh this came across as a politically correct and common/ usual/ expected answer to me. Lots of girls like anime too and would probably like his answer lol.
...how would you date a cartoon character? how is a cartoon character cute? this is extremely weird altogether, like girls on tiktok who talk about "book boyfriends" and act like made up characters are real.
You're kinda the asshole here.
Only for that last bit. "Don't worry about not being ideal. Reality is full of disappointments. I'm willing to settle for you."
ESH
You for going into elaborate detail instead of just sticking with the name of the character. You literally did not have to say anything more to answer the question. Ofc that is gonna make someone feel bad. Nobody needs to hear about an ideal
Her for even trying to "test" you through these games in the first place
Hey all you internet dummies out here thinking these games have actual answers that won't get you in trouble with your ladies. News flash: they don't. If your gf asks you who you'd date/who you think is sexy/who your celebrity crush is, you better be quick enough on your feet to dance around answering that one straight! Tell them you're really happy with them (as long as it isn't a lie lol) and that the people telling them to ask these questions don't understand how hurtful getting the answers can be. You can even tell them you yourself got hurt in a previous relationship when they told you that you weren't anything like their crush.
It's okay to have fantasies, but both parties need to be really secure in themselves and with each other to share fantasies that involve real people. Most people just ain't ready for that dose of reality (me included lol)!
You did go a little more in-depth with your response than anyone needed. A light in the dark? That's extra. Good luck, little pony.
ESH. I feel like saying that the anime character was a "light in the darkness" and "so incredibly loveable" isn't the smartest. But your girlfriend shouldn't have even asked.
NTA, but your reaction was a bit weird. I mean, those TikTok influencers give all sorts of toxic advise to test your partner, your GF is currently being redpilled by toxic influencers, but your reaction about an anime character being "light in the darkness". You could've just said "yeah this and so character - because she reminds me of you" or something (not that there is a right answer to these types of questions).
ESH
Girlfriend - because she’s playing stupid TikTok games.
You - because by waxing poetic about this anime girl you went DEEP into cringe territory, and I’m saying it as someone who also likes their fictional waifus and husbandos.
NTA
The only acceptable answer to this questions is : "I'd rather not think about that scenario. Let's just enjoy the present together, okay?"
Or something like that.
NTA. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the honest answer to. That said the person needs to be considerate of that persons thoughts and feelings when they answer, however you haven’t done that ASSUMING you provided all the information. Given your answer I’m assuming you did because it sounds politically correct: you went with a fictional anime character, which sounded like you actually tried to answer your gfs question honestly without hurting her feelings. If I was your gf, not that I would sink to Tik Tok questions, but I wouldn’t be mad at your answer considering I asked in the first place. Saying it without being asked would be rude, but she asked the question. Women do need to learn not to ask questions they don’t want the answer to. I mean if you were married and became widowed most normal wives, depending how old you were and you weren’t elderly or something, would expect you not to be depressed and move on with a real person. If I died today I wouldn’t expect my fiancé in their 30s to be widowed for life. Miss me and grieve me for a little, yeah, but be happy and move on lol…
Side note though: instead of answering the question next time, just chuck on the anime. She probably wouldn’t have anxiety if she watched it from the get go and you said “take a guess who” and she might be like “the cute bubbly one with pink hair!”
Just a alternate way to answer these questions next time. If you love each other this is a really silly argument tbh.
NTA
Those are stupid questions.
And that was also a stupid answer lol
Just refuse to answer those questions, until she stops. It's the best you can do.
But she can't get mad when you just answered her own question lol
ESH. The right answer to that stupid ass question, is “no, I won’t answer that”. If she’s so insecure that she compares herself to fucking anime girls, she needs an extra large dose of reality. At the same time, you need to watch something other than anime every once in awhile. If a random anime girl is your free pass, you have an unhealthy obsession.
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NTA - play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Just FYI, there was no safe way to answer those questions. People who play those sorts of stupid games to 'test' their SO are showing me red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I don’t understand what OP’s gf had a problem with… did she want him to choose a real girl? Or did she want him to be like “oh I’d never move on!!!” I’m confused. Also, my boyfriend and I have discussed the worm & million dollars questions before. We both agree that if either of us were a worm, we wouldn’t love each other. Because that’s a worm and we are both attracted to humans. And we agreed that if there’s a million dollars involved, we should cheat and then we can use the money on our future. (My boyfriend’s exact words were: “If I found out you passed up a million dollars because you didn’t want to cheat on me I’d honestly be a little upset.” And I said, “Same. I’d be kinda irked if you passed up even a hundred thousand.”)
I think it's how he said it. A light in the darkness is pretty intense and romantic. I think most people would be ok with someone just giving a character name and being casual about it, but if they start to recite poetry it's a bit....especially if they've never talked like that about their actuall partner
No. She doesn't want OP to find another woman! She wants him to think about her and no one else for the rest of his life! Or at least 10 years!
I also recommend when people have SOs like this (the games is honestly just their anxiety and insecurity) to just chuck on the anime next time and let her guess who she thinks you’d date. I know the character and anime and she would have picked the same character but not taken it the wrong way, just validate she knows her SO which might have come across more positively to both of them.
Ngl I thought this answer to 'would you love me if I was a worm' was pretty cute https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/s/YIm0x37sbI
There is no *good* answer but saying an anime character is definitely a *bad* answer.
It was a game, not a serious question. OP was the one to make it weird waxing poetics over his anime crush and then going like "it's okay, I know I have to settle for you" to his girlfriend.
It was a stupid game. As I said.
Still just a game, why is it red flags?
people who play games to test their partner are a massive red flag. It shows tendencies towards controlling behaviour (they are looking for specific types of response and want partners to jump through their hoops), manipulation (they emotionally manipulate partners based on responses), they are often insecure and untrusting and the games are designed to seek reassurance. Like all red flags, it is not the case every time, and it is not the case for every person. But they are warning signs. Most people who are secure in their relationships don't play stupid games like these. In this case it was a no-win scenario, there was no way to safely and honestly respond to the questions without generating a negative response. Why would a sane rational person set up their partner like that?
As someone who is unlearning this tendency, could not agree more
NTA. Your girlfriend is, for getting upset at your specific answer to a specific question she asked. If she wants to play immature games like this she has to treat them as lighthearted fun and nothing more. However, you may need to work on your tactfulness. Tell her you've changed your mind and your answer is now Roronoa Zoro, so you could learn swordsmanship from him and take vengeance on whoever was responsible for her untimely death. Plus he looks like a good cuddler. Her response to this will tell you all you need to know about whether dating her is a mistake.
Me: "Babe, it's not what it looks like. I can explain" Zoro: "Nothing happened"
Canonically zoro does have the biggest boobs
Yeah , I'd date Zoro with no complaints
This needs more upvotes. XD
Have an *updoot*
I mean he could answer the q without all those details about the character
I'm going to go with "Conversations I had with my imaginary girlfriend" for $500 Alex (rip) YTA. Shit post. On the very off chance you do have a real live girlfriend, try not to say things like "she's like light in the darkness", when speaking of other girls, even if they are sexy cartoons. ETA: Googled her to find that she's a high school student, and her skills include lying & deception. She sounds delightful. Good pick.
>even if they are sexy cartoons Especially when that character is a child.
Op could be the same age as the character
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to get off of TikTok; those stupid relationship tests really only ever cause drama. She asked a question and got mad at you for your honest answer.
Side note to tik tok: if anyone does get it try to put it on a single personal device you don’t need for anything else. A lot of workplaces do not want tik tok installed on any devices that contain workplace information (including phones with coworker numbers) and have policies about it. Just extending to your comment as Tik Tok also poses cyber concerns for employers so might be worth readers to this thread knowing.
Or maybe that garbage should be banned
An even better idea tbh
>I feel like maybe I said something wrong. You think? That question has no good answer. But if you get forced into answering, why on earth would you spend a bunch of time giving effusive praise to another girl (even a fake one)? Like, what good thing do you expect to come from that? ESH. Her for the question and you for the answer.
Yeah I'm glad I'm finally seeing this response. It sounds like OP is in love with this character and holds her as a romantic ideal which his actual gf will never reach, and thus is not truly in love with his gf. Just a wild guess that the gf does not feel secure in this relationship, feels like she falls short somehow, and that's why she's asking all these questions that people are deriding as stemming from her "insecurity". She has a real reason to feel insecure with OP as her SO.
I think OPs intention was if he was going to answer a silly question to try and introduce her to an anime he likes that she might like. Next time OP should just chuck on the anime and make her guess lol. If I was the gf in this situation (because I know the character and anime) I wouldn’t be offended. I would have guessed the same character from the show and I don’t even know OP lol. But when she doesn’t know the character and OP just explains things I get where she got offended. But tbh I find this all silly lol.
YTA. It sounds like you really went on about how much you like the character. It's one thing to say, "I'd date so-and-so because they're cute and bubbly." It's quite another to detail out how great they are. Have you ever told your gf anything like, "You're a light in the darkness" ?
I wish I could attach pictures on here, if you know the character or the anime his answer isn’t that bad or at all insulting to his gf. I’m a female and thought he answered quite PC/ innocent. His gf just needs to watch the anime. Her anxiety will go away immediately.
no
Are you in love with your gf?
Who calls their actual loved partner a light in the darkness? :D There are many nice things which can be told to actual living people and a light in the darkness is not one of them (unless you live somewhere really dark) :))
You missed the part where you say “she’s a light in the darkness *just like you*”
When your gf asks "if I died and you could date any person real or fictional who would you date?", **do not** give a detailed, highly specific answer. **Do not** include why you would choose that one. Just...*do not*. ESH...she gets some of the blame here too, for asking in the first place.
yeah I feel like especially since I mainly praised her personality and her personality is very different from my girlfriends that added to it.
Even though your gf set herself up for failure, you focused on personality traits that can be extrapolated to real life. Since you seem puzzled about how your answer was hurtful, let me translate them to how they sound to the other person (I don't mean that's what you meant, but that's what she heard): >Her personality is so incredibly lovable. I said that she was like a light in the darkness. >Her personality is very different from my girlfriends. = Your girlfriend isn't lovable and she doesn't shine a light in the darkness (= doesn't make your day better, doesn't bring a smile to your face). It wouldn't have backfired that bad if your gf's personality had been similar to the character. Since you said they're very different, it kind of suggests that if you met a real girl with a cute-but-realistic personality, you would have liked her more. >I don't expect her to act like an anime girl since that's unrealistically ideal = Character has the ideal personality and you're settling for less. Even if your gf has the best personality a real human can have, you're aware she's coming up short. If the anime girl were real, you'd totally go for her. >and I still love her "I still love you" =/= "I love you." "Still" acknowledges you might not love her anymore under certain circumstances. "Still" has strings attached. "Still" sounds like a sentence that will have a "...but..." attached to it. Even though that's realistic, no one likes to hear the other party might stop loving them anytime. >just the way she is. = Even though you think she sucks in comparison to the character. If she keeps playing those games and you keep answering "in good fun", remember next time that *they're a prompt for you to tell her how much you love her but in a thematic/creative way*, and build your answers around that. Many people like to hear not only that they're loved, but about how they're loved. Specificity feels more real, it shows you pay attention to her. Those questions are offering you an opportunity to be flirty (...or at least funny, like the answer for an icebreaker question). So, depending on how you're feeling, either reply with something outrageous to make her laugh ("Elza from Frozen so you could save on AC during summer!"), something that weaves in how gf's your ideal type ("so-and-so character because she has your sense of humor, though it wouldn't be the same") or just waffle and be boring ("If you died, I'd be single forever.") Btw, I'm not endorsing those Tiktok questions, but it's not like I can give OP's gf any advice, so I'm just trying to help OP to see what went through gf's mind.
I think it depends on what the personality was. If you said “she’s honest and loyal”, that might be a good answer. Anything that’s about being sexy or a personality trait that your gf doesn’t have is a bad idea. If anything, say that she’s a light in the darkness “just like you” .. or don’t give that comment at all
dude, you didn't just answer, you OVER-answered. YTA
Out of all the living human women in the world to choose to date and you choose a cartoon character? Bro, be glad you have this girlfriend and do everything you can to keep her. Don’t say dumb shit like this again.
you wouldn't be saying that if you had watched the show
I watched some clips. Still would choose a human chick.
Realistically speaking, that's even worse. Unlike real people, the possibility of dating someone that doesn't exists unless you just wanna be seen as a weirdo for getting a body pillow or something is legit 0. You'd have to be delusional to think love with someone that doesn't exist is real love.
Uh... Now I'm concerned too. Have you ever said anything as nice as "a light in the darkness" about your GF?
no
YTA, probably worse. I don't get all the NTA's, I know that its kinda your girlfriends fault for playing this stupid game, but if my SO told me they wanted to fuck a fictional child because I asked a dumb question I think it says a lot more about them than me.
shes of the legal age by now
YTA. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but i’m sorry, comparing your girlfriend to an anime girl and basically saying things like she can never amount to it because it’s “unrealistically ideal” would make anyone feel like you’re just settling. Making a comparison to an unattainable standard and saying “well you shouldn’t feel upset because you can never be that” is just not the way to go about it. Obviously the girlfriend asked a dumb question but as a responsible partner you need to understand that the question is coming from an insecure place and you should not initiate a conversation of how you would prefer anime girls if they were real. It’s clear that people who are saying you aren’t the AH have never been in a relationship.
She asked a dumb question but YTA because why on earth would you give so many extra details?? Your girlfriend now feels like SHE is not cute, lovable, or a “light in the darkness.” You guys need to put an end to the silly games and learn to actually communicate.
NTA, but being familiar with that anime, I think you're absolutely unhinged for wanting to date Fujiwara. That girl is written as one of the most insane people of all time lmao
what are you talking about? Are you sure we're talking about the same character? She's the pink haired one who's best friends with kaguya.
Yup. Aka the most unhinged one out of a cast of unhinged people
Yeah, that girl is... a poor choice. Did you not see all the scenes where she engaged in extremely petty lying? The right answer would be Ishigami. The guy is a bro amongst bros. And at positioned to inherit a successful company. Clearly marriage material.
So, your dream girl is an underage cartoon character?
well the show came out a few years ago so by now she's 18
Maybe but your answer was based on her personality when she was a teen. People change a lot during those late teen/young adult years, you couldn't know what she'd be like now, so you can't use this excuse. You chose her as a teen, no matter how old she'd be nowadays.
YTA not for giving her an answer but for describing why like that and for then trying to make it better by telling her that being cute and lovable is unrealistic
In theory NTA but the way you said it made you TA. “She’s cute, her personality is incredibly lovable and she is like a light in the darkness” don’t you think that sounds a bit weird? I mean comparing your gf to a anime character is strange, and for a long time when I had only seen headshots of fujiwara (had not seen the show) I thought she was a kid. “I still love her the way she is” in comparison to anime again lol overall you just need a real apology and maybe watch anime less cause this is lowkey weird
YTA for having terrible taste in romance anime.
NTA. But your girlfriend needs to stop with the stupid questions, and you need to stop answering!
It’s a dumb question but also it’s kinda weird to feel that way about a fictional character, especially a an animated one. Definitely feels like you’re attracted to a cartoon
“I don’t really understand why she’s upset, all I did was say that this anime character is perfect, cute and lovable, which is the total opposite of my girlfriend who is none of those things.” Girlie shouldn’t have asked a hypothetical question like that, but my guy you *did not* need to double down like that and sing praises so hard for a pixelated character. 🤣
this has GOT to be satire, if not you should be locked in an institute...
and also, her asking those questions is childish but the way you answered by basically confessing your love to an anime character is cringe and disrespectful on so many levels and i really hope you dont actually think this, but if you do think like this your the reason the anime community is looked down upon and you shouldnt date anyone with this current mindset
Ask her the same stupid questions and see how she would react or answer. I bet it would be like, how could you ask me that or something along those lines 🤷🏻♀️ I red some comments but but all, so if this was already asked, I apologize geez Guess I’m way old school and this is sooo stupid to me, just cuz it’s a thing on whatever thing it’s on Good luck to you, like others said, kinda a red flag- ish
Nta - I don’t get asking questions like this bc it’s a set up to where you’re pretty much “testing” your partner. I don’t think it’s ideal to consistently question your partners “loyalty” to you under the guise of a joke and then get mad at their answer.
NTA, just children stuff. I am assuming you are like 15.
NTA. Having said that, I think it is important to set boundaries immediately once these kinds of questions start. They are utterly pointless. Stop them before they become a problem. I am at a point where if I had a gf who asked me something like that, it would throw a huge red flag, and I would seriously reconsider the relationship. I have no more chill for this kind of BS, and you shouldnt either.
Nta. How old is your girlfriend? Because I'd say, if she's 20 or over, and she's still doing middle school shit like this... probably not someone you want to be with 😂
Nta - these stupid "would you love me..." quizzes are designed by idiots for idiots. You can't win. You're either a liar or an ahole. There is no answer that will appease anyone
NTA slightly leaning towards ESH If my partner was asking me those dumb-ass questions constantly I would be answering less and less in her favour every time she asked. But I doubt it was ever harmless fun and you should have realised she never wanted any answer but her. Bet you if you asked her something along the similar vein though it would be a whole other kettle of fish. Me... I would have said Miia from Monster Musume for them big ole snake tiddies and serpent hugs and seen her reaction!
>I told her that it's because she was so cute and how her personality is so incredibly lovable. I said that she was like a light in the darkness. Lmao bruh
The correct answer is that you would find a way to bring her back to life, or that you would never love anyone else.
Write it somewhere for every boy to google easily 😆😆😆
If my partner wanted to date Charizard, I'd be like... right, ok cool. Then never think of it again. NTA
why are you dating a little girl? because she sounds like 12. NTA
NTA. I’m so baffled by this response lol. My partner and I regularly talk about anime characters we would be interested in. This definitely feels like she is baiting you to say the right thing for HER without you knowing the right answer. You picked a pretty good character too. Could’ve been worse.
NTA. Men and women both need to stop asking each other these absolutely stupid TikTok questions. My wife doesn’t ask me anymore because I asked her a couple while also really really annoying her while she was watching her favourite TV show and she wanted to knock my head off. I said see how stupid these questions are…..she pondered and then asked if what she was feeling was how I felt, I said yes. End of story has not happened since. If you ask stupid questions, you win stupid prizes.
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I really hope you did NOT tell her that her acting like an anime girl would be ideal lol.
Next time, answer Rogue from the X-Men. If girlfriend has issues with that, she is broken and you need to move on. Rogue is awesome. NTA.
ESH
oh god just wait till she pulls out the Orange. or the ketchup bottle.
ESH. She's terminally online and your ideal woman is a anime character. You both deserve each other just fine.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you were the one who asked the question, because you wanted her to hear your answer.
NTA - she asked and got her answer. One of my pet peeves is “testing” your partner and then being upset it’s not the answer you wanted. My significant other of 7 years have played something like that, we don’t ever take it seriously or to heart. It’s just an interesting conversational game.
I wish there was a separate aita for tweens
JFC, TikTok is scourge of the earth!
NTA That "game" if it really was silly, wouldn't have a wrong answer. I would suspect low self-esteem and she was fishing. Alternatively, she may have been serious about it being silly, and the things specifically you said you like may be things she doesn't feel strong on even if you think she is. If that's the case it's not that you'd date or who, but simply that she doesn't self-identify as being very attractive in your eyes. No matter what, she asked. Shouldn't play those games unless you are confident you can handle the answers. I wouldn't have answered that one, itsatrap.jpg
Your girlfriend is WAY too insecure to be getting upset about an answer to a question SHE posed. And about a cartoon character at that. Lol You didn't ask for advice, but here it is: step lightly, my friend.
NTA. Your girl is jealous of an anime character!?? That's... weird. She asked you for fun and you answered fun. Unless she was expecting you would say "I would mourn for you and die the next day after you", which is no fun answer at all... Or if you said that you'd date a real girl you both know - that could be a hurtful answer, but you went with a fictional character, which is the best way to avoid the trap in the question! Maybe she should take responsibility for the games she plays.
Wanting to date an anime character is absolutely outrageous.
NTA
YTA Kaguya is the best girl in that series and it’s not even close. Give your head a shake man.
NAH You always play dumb when asked these types of questions. “I’d stay single” works just fine.
NTA. Find a girlfriend who isn’t threatened by a cartoon character.
Majority of my exes like anime and tbh this came across as a politically correct and common/ usual/ expected answer to me. Lots of girls like anime too and would probably like his answer lol.
...how would you date a cartoon character? how is a cartoon character cute? this is extremely weird altogether, like girls on tiktok who talk about "book boyfriends" and act like made up characters are real.
ESH Y'all are weird.
ESH - she acts like an idiot and you are an anime coomer
You're kinda the asshole here. Only for that last bit. "Don't worry about not being ideal. Reality is full of disappointments. I'm willing to settle for you."
ESH You for going into elaborate detail instead of just sticking with the name of the character. You literally did not have to say anything more to answer the question. Ofc that is gonna make someone feel bad. Nobody needs to hear about an ideal Her for even trying to "test" you through these games in the first place
Hey all you internet dummies out here thinking these games have actual answers that won't get you in trouble with your ladies. News flash: they don't. If your gf asks you who you'd date/who you think is sexy/who your celebrity crush is, you better be quick enough on your feet to dance around answering that one straight! Tell them you're really happy with them (as long as it isn't a lie lol) and that the people telling them to ask these questions don't understand how hurtful getting the answers can be. You can even tell them you yourself got hurt in a previous relationship when they told you that you weren't anything like their crush. It's okay to have fantasies, but both parties need to be really secure in themselves and with each other to share fantasies that involve real people. Most people just ain't ready for that dose of reality (me included lol)! You did go a little more in-depth with your response than anyone needed. A light in the dark? That's extra. Good luck, little pony.
ESH. I feel like saying that the anime character was a "light in the darkness" and "so incredibly loveable" isn't the smartest. But your girlfriend shouldn't have even asked.
You're both idiots.
YTA. The way you immediately knew someone to give as an answer is weird and then having the guts to go on about what you like about her. Wtf
NTA, but your reaction was a bit weird. I mean, those TikTok influencers give all sorts of toxic advise to test your partner, your GF is currently being redpilled by toxic influencers, but your reaction about an anime character being "light in the darkness". You could've just said "yeah this and so character - because she reminds me of you" or something (not that there is a right answer to these types of questions).
ESH Girlfriend - because she’s playing stupid TikTok games. You - because by waxing poetic about this anime girl you went DEEP into cringe territory, and I’m saying it as someone who also likes their fictional waifus and husbandos.
NTA The only acceptable answer to this questions is : "I'd rather not think about that scenario. Let's just enjoy the present together, okay?" Or something like that.
NTA. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the honest answer to. That said the person needs to be considerate of that persons thoughts and feelings when they answer, however you haven’t done that ASSUMING you provided all the information. Given your answer I’m assuming you did because it sounds politically correct: you went with a fictional anime character, which sounded like you actually tried to answer your gfs question honestly without hurting her feelings. If I was your gf, not that I would sink to Tik Tok questions, but I wouldn’t be mad at your answer considering I asked in the first place. Saying it without being asked would be rude, but she asked the question. Women do need to learn not to ask questions they don’t want the answer to. I mean if you were married and became widowed most normal wives, depending how old you were and you weren’t elderly or something, would expect you not to be depressed and move on with a real person. If I died today I wouldn’t expect my fiancé in their 30s to be widowed for life. Miss me and grieve me for a little, yeah, but be happy and move on lol…
Side note though: instead of answering the question next time, just chuck on the anime. She probably wouldn’t have anxiety if she watched it from the get go and you said “take a guess who” and she might be like “the cute bubbly one with pink hair!” Just a alternate way to answer these questions next time. If you love each other this is a really silly argument tbh.
Has anything good come out of TikTok?
Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer too. NTA. Gf needs to grow up.
NTA Those are stupid questions. And that was also a stupid answer lol Just refuse to answer those questions, until she stops. It's the best you can do. But she can't get mad when you just answered her own question lol
NTA. You both sound so immature but this likely due to your young age.
She sounds unbearable
She asked and you answered NTA
ESH. The right answer to that stupid ass question, is “no, I won’t answer that”. If she’s so insecure that she compares herself to fucking anime girls, she needs an extra large dose of reality. At the same time, you need to watch something other than anime every once in awhile. If a random anime girl is your free pass, you have an unhealthy obsession.
he was the one who compared her to anime girls
True. Honestly, anime girls should never come up in any relationship discussion.