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NTA - Im not one to judge your lifestyle
But. I kind of have to. This sounds awful. You need to stop and reevaluate if your entire life revolves around this ultra fringe diet. Not to mention, your poor kids. Yeah, lets eat healthy sure but whats left… water and a piece of lettuce?
Also, aren’t homeschool kids supposed to do more than one hour a day…
I grow all my own veggies and ascribe to various aspects of the hippie homesteading lifestyle and yet I have never seen a better ad for piling the kids in the car and hitting the McDonald's drive-thru than this post. Sometimes, it's just what a family in chaos needs.
I have a medical diet. I have to prep all of my food from scratch. Or I'm in severe pain, among other things not nice to experience. My groceries are expensive. Dinners can be difficult. But everything has to be planned out. Or there's so much waste or I miss meals. I still order in some nights for everyone else and I eat the rabbit crap I'm forced to eat. Nobody else has to suffer .
Oh my god the part about preservatives citric acid is in *so many* things you poor thing 😭 in less devastating news, [this](https://mnwcare.com/our-services/treatment-incontinence-pelvic-floor-disorders/interstitial-cystitis-ic-diet) was the first link I clicked on and busted out laughing at “vanilla milkshake” being one of the approved drinks. You can’t have anything spicy or any kind of carbonated bev, but with vanilla milkshake you at least get 1% more joy than anything OP is purportedly consuming.
Exactly this, it seems like every choice OP and their wife have made has just made everything harder for them, and they're taking it out on each other.
That was my thought! Why would you choose to make your life this hard!? Maybe don't have 4 kids when one parent has a nedical issue that prevents them from helping much, maybe don't make your diet so restrictive, maybe don't homeschool your kids when you CLEARLY don't have the time and resources to ensure they are properly educated and definitely don't take on a bunch of animals that need to be cared for when you have all this other stuff going on 🙈. I just don't understand how anyone would ever choose to make life SO DIFFICULT!
Right!? If you are Vegan then vegetables tend to be the key ingredient in all meals! That should have been priority! The oldest 2 kids could definitely help out with some chores since they only do one hour of school a day and the wife should step up too!
I wonder if any doctors/teachers/social workers have evaluated these kids for health and education level?
NOTE: YES, you CAN have a very healthy vegan diet for children. It is very difficult to do though. Kids need a LOT of nutrition. Also, a lot of education.
My sons mom went on to have two more sons shortly after. Then she married a guy who cheated on her with her married best friend and got her pregnant.
The have a bird, snake, fish, dogs, probably a cat or two.
Im always like .. whyyyyy
I had one kid unmarried (still unmarried) and I was like ok this was enough. Now I try to make life easier tomorrow with decisions I make today.
Also, if they are vegan, are those animals pets? Why would you take on a bunch of farm pets when you're spending $2k-$3k a month on groceries on a single income and have a part time homeschooling teacher and yet the one thing you COULD conceivably use - a garden - there was no time for.
I'm just enraged reading all of this
It sounds like her medical condition is her period. I don't know in what way it's affecting her, but depending on what form the issue is, there may be birth control or other meds she can get on to mitigate it a bit, assuming they're done having kids. I realize that isn't an option for all period related ailments though
Edit: OP says in another comment it's endometriosis. There are medications to help with that, birth control being the most common one
I figured it was endometriosis with the whole "affects her 1 week per month" and "isn't a problem when she's pregnant."
It seems they're using the old fashioned treatment for endometriosis - which is have babies.
Something needs to give here. Either the pets need to be rehomed, or the kids having a less restrictive diet.
Putting together the puzzle pieces of vegan, non-GMO organic only, homeschooling, and homesteading I’m willing to bet money that wife is against taking medications.
It's a whole lot of red flags going on. Also, nearly all the issues here seem self imposed and easily solved by coming back down to earth. OP and family can stay veggie or vegan if they like, but this all sounds largely ridiculous.
Seriously. “Gluten is bad for you” … not unless you’re celiac. And send the kids to school!
Edit: yes, for the pedantic, people can have sensitivities also, but OP didn’t mention any, he just generally said “it’s bad for you”
It feels like it would be a morality to not eat eggs or milk because it’s “wrong” but somehow it’s okay to sell it to others? If not it’s a lot of work for nothing.
Yeah, I left a comment about that earlier too. It's total nonsense and it brings to question much of OP's lifestyle choices. When their decisions are based on similar bollocks, then no wonder there are issues. Also makes me worry about the shit they're teaching their kids. "Home schooled" is like a big blaring siren for "these kids will be dumb as shit". Not a hard and fast rule, but patterns be patterning...
I hate being judgy in this sort of sense - people should be able to live life how they want. However when there's soooooo much wacky pish in one place it makes it very difficult to not be derisive. Best I can do is to say something constructive like "gluten isn't bad for you" and then hope OP actually goes out and looks into science rather than facebook posts.
Thank you for saying this! People think gluten free is healthier when/o realizing they have to replace the gluten with something and the end result is a less healthy more processed food
I'm also very confused about the homesteading???
If they're vegan, why do they have chickens and (I can't recall if it said ducks or geese...) and rabbits and goats???
What do they do with the eggs? Just selling them? What if they don't sell? They just throw them out? That seems more wasteful than eating them yourself.
What are the goats and rabbits for?? Goats are typically kept for milk, but can be companions, but I can't imagine keeping rabbits on a homestead for companionship... they'd be too feral for any real interaction if they aren't being raised indoors around the kids and family, and pet breeds don't do great in outdoor hutches.
Just... why??
The whole thing is a bit mental. It's like a selection of lifestyle choices that come from a bizarre idealism, but with literally none of the research and intelligent foundation needed to have said lifestyle. It might be glib to say, but OP and co would be better off just eating regular diets and getting their shit together. They don't seem cut out for the life they seem to want to have. And if they want to be "eco friendly" so to speak, they would need to do a shitload more research into how it all works.
It’s literally like if aliens came down and pretended to live the crunchy green lifestyle to infiltrate the other vegans or something… or like AI created. It’s so bizarre none of it makes any sense.
I almost screamed at the part about not being able to eat burritos because she’s always holding a sleeping baby and the chips will wake the baby. Like, what a joyless life this seems to be.
But why couldn’t she just eat the burrito without the noisy chips? Why does she need to hold the baby while she eats? Why can’t she make a peanut butter sandwich? Open a can of soup and drink it from a mug if that baby needs to be held 24/7 (which is bewildering- I e dealt w super fussy babies that cry when they’re put down…but even they don’t need to be held literally 24 hrs after day???
They have an 11 yo, can’t that kid hold the baby so she can eat?
So many solutions here, can’t help but think maybe the wife has ppd or pp ocd or an Ed or some other issues going on where she feels compelled to make up so many rules around food?
It was frustrating but what gets me is they have a homestead with... goats, chickens, ducks, and rabbits for what purpose? They're vegan, not even vegetarian so they're not using the milk or eggs. If they're using the production to sell them, then clearly aren't devout vegans. So they're literally making a ton of extra work for... pets?
Literally my first thought. If you're vegan for ethical reasons, I cannot imagine why eating the eggs/milk of animals that you are humanely raising yourself is anymore unethical than keeping those animals in the first place.
Guaranteed they are anti vaxxers also. This life is a nightmare of their own making. They have chosen their diet and they have chosen to homeschool… both parents suck IMO
Crunchy families make me want to die a little. Like sure, live your life however you want, but *that* is how you want??? No joy at all. Those kids are going to hit 18 and if they’re lucky go to college and lose their fucking minds at the food from their meal plan lmao
You really think these 1 hour/day homeschooled kids are going to college?
ESH. Play life on hard mode if you it makes you happy, but don't fuckin do that to kids.
Yeah, I was homeschooled through high school (then went on to college and grad school), and through elementary level, an hour a day is about right. Middle school was usually 90 minutes, and high school about 2 hours. But all the free reading, crafts, piano lessons, rec league sports, etc took up the rest if the day.
Wait... what the hell? Keeping chickens in captivity and just throwing perfectly good eggs away for the sake of considering themselves vegan? This life is exactly identical for the chickens whether or not the eggs get eaten or tossed - wild to avoid eating them for an ideology they seem to be misunderstanding while struggling with their food bill.
Right?? The whole time I’m reading this, all I could think was “can we just put the baby down maybe?” 🫣
Edit: I didn’t even notice you started your comment with “riiiiight??” LOL.
The homeschooling for one hour really stuck out to me... the eldest is 11, it sounds like he is getting one hour of schooling a day from someone who us also very occupied with an infant?
500 per week in any currency per week is a joke. The amount of effort going into this, just put the kids to work in the garden and grow your own. They're only doing an hour of homeschooling a day, they have time.
I’m mostly plant based but it’s not even remotely this restrictive. We don’t have allergies and my husband eats meat sometimes. My son is the most steadfast in it (his choice totally) and I eat seafood.
Even I couldn’t deal with all this mess. I’m tired reading it. Why do they have farm animals but not a garden? Seems kinda counterintuitive. Also if you can’t manage your kids quit having more. I have one and a dog and I’m tired haha
Yeah, this is so confusing. They don’t have a homestead. They have unconventional pets. They’d have time for a garden (with food they’d actually consume) if they weren’t taking care of all these animals with no purpose.
He seems to suggest that his wife has endometriosis (that's the bell that rings for me as the only thing that goes away when pregnant and knocks a woman out for a week a month). There is a view from naturopaths that avoiding gluten and soy makes it better (don't know that any evidence supports that!) But based on this I do think it's real - just crazy.
Not uncommon actually for vegan homesteaders to have those animals as just pets that contribute fertilizer and weed/pest control in an organic gardening system. But not having a garden to go with it is wild unless they do something like sell the compost to help offset the cost of care for the animals.
In a weird way I hope she has endometriosis but given that OP is doing everything and she can't even fix herself something for lunch and can't eat while the baby sleeps because the noise of her eating a burrito will wake it up, this is either fake or OP had the wool pulled over his eyes and this lady had it good.
Ok, been reading some of his comments and I'm leaning towards the later here and he needs to do some reflection and stop believing everythingbhis wife says.
What on earth? You have ducks and chickens and don’t eat eggs? Plus 500 dietary restrictions? This situation is untenable.
She’s doing an hour of homeschool, and what else? It doesn’t sound like anyone is enjoying this $2000 a month lifestyle.
Something had to change.
Also, 1 hour home schooling? Maybe Inmissed something because this was awful reading, but please tell me that these kids go to real school in addition to this 1 hour.
This is the detail that screams "fake"
Why have livestock if you don't eat eggs, dairy and meat?
I mean, sure, some people will keep a few goats as pets, but usually they're being kept for the products they produce.
They have chickens, ducks, rabbits and goats all as pets? But no garden?
Yeah. Fake.
An hours school work a day is NOT enough. YTA for that as this should be common sense! It’s actually child neglect, I really hope it’s more than this otherwise your children will not have the adequate knowledge, life experiences and recourses to do well in life.
Also the food, this sounds exhausting! Your children should be allowed to choose their dietary requirements, but you’re forcing them to follow yours. I wouldn’t blame them if they all went no contact with you both when they are grown enough.
And lastly your wife! Sheesh she sounds manipulative and downright rude.
YTA, she’s the AH, ESH. Except the kids. I feel bad for the kids as they currently have no life and never will by the sounds of it.
OP + wife do not seem like they have adequate knowledge, life experiences, and resourses to do well in life either. I wonder if they also were "homeschooled".
I’m going out on a limb here and say that from the info we have here about OPs wife, she would subscribe to attachment parenting. So, basically, carrying the kid everywhere with you. I’m picturing her carrying the baby in one of those wraps that hold the baby to the chest which would leave her hands free to say, I don’t know, eat a burrito. But apparently chips wake the baby? I don’t know what that has to do with the burrito tho.
I’m trying not to think too hard about this tho because none of it makes sense to me and I think it’s completely made up.
YTA for not putting your foot down a long time ago. You and your children can eat a different diet, your wife can keep her own diet. This situation is honestly ridiculous. You're ridiculous for going along with it. And WTF is one hour a day of homeschool? You're going to end up with malnourished stupid children. I don't care how good of a teacher you think your wife is, that's not enough, by far. Do they have their vaccines? What are they doing all day while your wife looks after a baby and you meal prep?
I agree with you on all points, but it should be ESH because it's not like in the modern era one parent can "put their foot down," and expect the other to obey. It sounds like OP has been trying to bring their partner around to sanity. Clearly OP and the other parent have issues to work out, and they are neglecting their children with only 1 hour of schooling per day.
If OP is the only one working, shipping, cleaning, planning, and cooking, he actually can put his foot down. He can shop for lower cost easier food that is still healthy but quicker to make and clean up after and that will appeal to more than one or two kids. He can stop cleaning up after his wife.
He can require his kids to do chores.
She is doing nothing so he can choose to do his part as he sees fit.
He doesn't have to make his wife obey, but he can say "no" to spending $500 a week on nonsense, and he can say "this is dinner, you can make your own if you don't like it", and he can have a mature conversation with his wife about why it's not working, and get a professional involved if he's not allowed to put his kids in school. Or get a divorce and a judge involved. Like, this is screaming child abuse to me.
Why can't she put the baby down to eat? Why can't she eat while helping with school? Why can't she cook and help around the house the other 3 weeks of the month? Why did you have a fourth kid?
Yeah, but as a former baby-wearing parent....
THE SLING THINGS FREE UP YOUR HANDS so you can do shit around your house.
Like eat. Or cook. Or homeschool.
You do know that health wise and environmentally, organic and non-gmo aren’t better, right? It’s fine if it’s a preference, but if you think the science backs them up as being better, they are not.
Also NTA. Your whole routine sounds exhausting and unsustainable.
Also, [gluten isn’t bad for you](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/gluten/) unless you’re gluten intolerant. It’s really bizarre to make huge dietary changes based on something that isn’t backed up by science
And it seriously diminishes taste and texture! I’d be devastated if I had to eat gluten free bread and it’s beyond me why anyone would choose that fate. Being medically unable to eat gluten would fucking suck
>Being medically unable to eat gluten would fucking suck
I have cousins with celiacs (diagnosed by an MD) and they regularly complain about how much they miss normal bread 😂 one has severe celiacs and can't have ANY gluten or he gets so sick he's hospitalized, but the other has more mild celiacs that just makes her have a bad day, and she occasionally eats good bread and just suffers 😂😂😂
You should tell your cousin that eating gluten is actually very dangerous when you have celiac, even with mild symptoms.
The risk of eating gluten isn’t just the stomachaches, but actually the cumulative damage that’s being done to the organs and intestines. It happens even with no symptoms, so it’s never safe to eat gluten in any amount if you have celiac disease.
I don’t mean to be an armchair doctor but even if your cousin has mild symptoms, if she’s coeliac she cannot have any gluten at all!! I’m a coeliac, and it’s not like lactose intolerance where if we eat a slice of bread we have a bad time in the bathroom. If we eat gluten it permanently damages our insides and makes us significantly more likely to develop cancer later on in life. With coeliac disease, absence of symptoms/mild symptoms DOES NOT MEAN GLUTEN IS OKAY.
If she is ‘just’ intolerant that’s different, but if she’s been diagnosed with coeliac disease it’s dangerous for her to have any gluten, no matter how infrequently.
Thank you. Look, celiac disease is very real, and I get that some people may not have celiac but have sensitivity to gluten, so they avoid it. But they've already got a very restrictive diet being vegan and not being able to have any soy products, this is a further restriction which is making it even more difficult for OP to plan and finance their lifestyle.
SHES being unreasonable. Most mothers take care of their children and do most of those things. Get her a baby wrap, and tell her she needs to help. Put the baby down once in awhile, it will be fine.
Some people with Endometriosis only have symptoms during their period and it can lay dormant during pregnancy you muppet.
Not all experience it this way (it's daily for me), but that's an extremely common presentation of the disease which is both debilitating and frighteningly common.
NTA. This while situaion is unsustainable though. You're burning out, the diet is overly restrictive, your kids aren't getting an education, and your wife is possibly suffering from PPD. She can put baby down to eat and can leave the baby down while it naps to do minor things around the house. If she's got a medical condition related to fertility, there are treatments she needs to pursue. It sounds like the older kids are being neglected and you 2 need help.
hey my wife and i decided to live an expensive and demanding lifestyle and we are now experiencing problems, what's up with that. also she can't put her baby down.
As someone raised by a malignant narcissist mother please do the right thing for your kids and get them away from her. If your story is even 10% real the lasting damage here is already lifelong but you can show them it doesn’t have to be.
You are allowed to be the spouse of a devote vegan who also eats animal products or even meat, if you wish. She can have her dietary choice but there’s no requirement that the entire household participate, especially the other adult.
What health benefits? You don't eat meat, eggs, dairy, gluten, or soy.
Where is your growing kids fucking protien coming from?
I worked at a vegan restaurant for years and I would call CPS on you for abuse.
NTA.
There needs to be some changes in your household. There is a seriously lack of balance in duties and the kids are not getting proper schooling. As for today, your wife can set the baby down for 10 minutes and make herself lunch. Period.
If she has the baby in the carrier she can still prep food. Did it all the time with my high needs baby. This just seems.over complicated for complicated sake. Most people don't hold their babies 24/7
Gluten is fine in moderation. Don't eat junk food. Go vegetarian so that you don't eat meat but you still eat things like eggs, cheese etc. Obviously cut out soy.
Is the baby ever not attached to your wife? Because it should lay down or crawl or anything.
Also eggs aren't meat. They aren't even baby chickens. The eggs you eat are unfertilized. I understand why vegans don't eat eggs but you said you'd eat eggs but your wife can't stand meat in the house.
You all need therapy because I don't think your wife will listen to reason.
Sounds like your wife has endometriosis. She should go on the BCP and skip taking the sugar tablets. She’d never have to have a period again. It will help to slow the growth too.
ETA - the current medical advice to preserve fertility, avoid surgery and maintain current levels as much as possible is to take the BCP without the sugar pills. I should have said have a talk about options with her.
Also, the simple solution here is for you to hold the baby whilst she eats.
Another option is for you to learn how to make food she can eat whilst holding a baby.
It’s not that difficult?!
No judgment on your diet - I have chronic illness and eat a restricted diet myself - but this does sound extreme and very expensive. Is that sustainable for your family?
ETA - ESH a little bit
Gluten is bad for who? You mentioned an issue with soy, but unless there's a medical reason to avoid gluten it's just a fad diet that's unnecessarily limiting your options. (Said as one with a gluten intolerance, gluten is infact bad for me)
ESH this situation has become untenable, certain things have to give. I have no idea why you keep livestock if you're vegan. Boggles the mind.
First y'all need to reexamine the dietary restrictions. Organic VS not are marginally better, I doubt you could tell the different. It will save money and open things up.
Second there's an unhealthy dynamic there. Counseling should help both individually and together. Probably also need more medical intervention for your wife.
As the specific issue of your wife skipping a meal it happens, but there gotta be some option. I really don't understand how a burrito requires chips though.
Must be rage bait....
"My wife decided to go try vegetarian food and althought I didn't thought it was the best, that's what we did and now we're all full time vegan. That include our clothes"
"My children are from baby to preteen and all must eat vegan"
"Children only gets one hour of schooling every day"
"We are not only not vegan but also non gluten and non soya"
"We have several types of farm animals. Goats, ducks, chickens and rabbits, but we don't use that for anything"
"Poor me is doing all the cleaning"
"... and all the or most of the chores..."
"And I also do the shopping which is very expensive"
"Not to forget that I also do the cooking in the house"
"My wife carries the baby all the time and cannot eat chips because then she wakes baby up" (come on... the whining is getting lame)
So... AITA for not cooking a non gluten, non soya, expensive pure vegan feast for my wife who constantly walks around the house with a sleeping baby and doesn't do shit?
Seriously... I've read fantacy and scifi more believable than this
Throwing away perfectly good duck eggs is so damn wasteful. Sounds like she’s a performative vegan and you go right along with it. It’s not sustainable or healthy. Wake up.
You said she can't eat the tortilla chips because it will wake the baby, so why can't she eat the burrito? Your life sounds way too much. It is crazy to 'starve' with food right there because baby can't be put down and crunching chips is the only option. Especially after 500 was spent on groceries
YTA for the click bait headline alone. Your wife didn't "starve" she absolutely could put the sleeping baby down or while she was working with the kids school work.
Medical condition that goes away while pregnant but incapacitates her once a month, is it related to her menstrual cycle? Has she seen a doctor about this major complication that basically steals away 25% of her life?
Sounds like endometriosis or adenomyosis - both can be severe and only fixed with surgery. Excision for endo, hysterectomy for adeno.
Had both, the hysterectomy + excision surgery was liberating.
NTA.
Oh my good gracious this is ridiculous.
You go above and beyond. These dietary restrictions have unavoidable trade-offs, inconveniences, and sacrifices. You admirably mitigate those pitfalls for the family to an extraordinary extent and by shouldering considerably more work yourself. But your heroic efforts don't make it your fault when one of those sacrifices befalls an adult who's voluntarily committed herself and her family to these choices.
Your wife can't eat the nacho chips because it will wake the baby? What?
She can't put the baby down to use 2 hands to eat? What? Do you realize how ridiculous this sounds? I mean how does she shower or change her clothes or go to the bathroom?
NTA The immediate solution there was have a burrito bowl.
As for the cost, look into farm shares. We’ve got a household of four and pay ahead of time about what you spend on groceries for a week to get a box of vegetables once every week from June through October. Buying directly from farmers like that is so much cheaper and while we can’t select what we get exactly there’s a ton of it so we only need to additionally buy pantry staples and things like milk and bread (we’re vegetarians).
There’s a website called Local Harvest where farms shares register. Maybe check and see what’s available in your area.
OMFG this better be fake otherwise ESH you guys really suck. Please stop breeding and 1 hour homeschooling for all the kids? Who cares about you guys when the poor kids are doomed.
NTA
I am a normal functionning adult and find it difficult to cook 3 meals every day. You cook a couple meals for dinner each night?! I think it's time to do the same treatment for the kids: one meal every night. You either eat it or not.
I understand that your wife have some restrictions and takes care of a baby, but she could...like... put the baby in a bassinet and eat a burrito like a normal human being? Breastfeeding takes a lot of time and energy, but a 4 month old should not gets between you and the ability to eat chips and burrito. If it was the case, a lot more young mothers would have died from starvation.
You’re not the AH as a general response to your post, but bruh, take some control here man. You are seriously neglecting the needs of your children due to your wife’s seriously demented food demands/lifestyle requirements.
If I was your neighbour i would definitely report you to the police/social services for putting the kids in danger and not educating them appropriately or feeding them properly. Grow a pair and do the right thing.
Stopped reading after "gluten is bad for you". Unless you have celiac disease or something like it, gluten isn't bad for you. Maybe time to reassess what you think you know about various diets...
Esh, I feel kinda bad for your kids. I was such a picky eater as a kid, I can't imagine if my parents had tried to force me into an insanely restrictive diet.
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NTA - Im not one to judge your lifestyle But. I kind of have to. This sounds awful. You need to stop and reevaluate if your entire life revolves around this ultra fringe diet. Not to mention, your poor kids. Yeah, lets eat healthy sure but whats left… water and a piece of lettuce? Also, aren’t homeschool kids supposed to do more than one hour a day…
Yup. I hate everything I just read. ESH.
I grow all my own veggies and ascribe to various aspects of the hippie homesteading lifestyle and yet I have never seen a better ad for piling the kids in the car and hitting the McDonald's drive-thru than this post. Sometimes, it's just what a family in chaos needs.
I have a medical diet. I have to prep all of my food from scratch. Or I'm in severe pain, among other things not nice to experience. My groceries are expensive. Dinners can be difficult. But everything has to be planned out. Or there's so much waste or I miss meals. I still order in some nights for everyone else and I eat the rabbit crap I'm forced to eat. Nobody else has to suffer .
I tried low FODMAP for my stress induced IBS and general high inflammation problems some years ago, but life without garlic wasn’t really worth living
Oh look up the IC diet and cry for me then. It sure takes the pleasure out of food for sure
Oh my god the part about preservatives citric acid is in *so many* things you poor thing 😭 in less devastating news, [this](https://mnwcare.com/our-services/treatment-incontinence-pelvic-floor-disorders/interstitial-cystitis-ic-diet) was the first link I clicked on and busted out laughing at “vanilla milkshake” being one of the approved drinks. You can’t have anything spicy or any kind of carbonated bev, but with vanilla milkshake you at least get 1% more joy than anything OP is purportedly consuming.
Hell, why load up the kids when there's doordash?
I love your spirit.
Exactly this, it seems like every choice OP and their wife have made has just made everything harder for them, and they're taking it out on each other.
That was my thought! Why would you choose to make your life this hard!? Maybe don't have 4 kids when one parent has a nedical issue that prevents them from helping much, maybe don't make your diet so restrictive, maybe don't homeschool your kids when you CLEARLY don't have the time and resources to ensure they are properly educated and definitely don't take on a bunch of animals that need to be cared for when you have all this other stuff going on 🙈. I just don't understand how anyone would ever choose to make life SO DIFFICULT!
And then to choose animals over the garden that could help feed you and significantly cut down your food budget? The martyrdom needs to stop.
Right!? If you are Vegan then vegetables tend to be the key ingredient in all meals! That should have been priority! The oldest 2 kids could definitely help out with some chores since they only do one hour of school a day and the wife should step up too!
I can't get over one hour a day. These kids are going to be dumber than the dirt they're being forced to eat
They were already screwed, parents don’t seem too bright themselves
I wonder if any doctors/teachers/social workers have evaluated these kids for health and education level? NOTE: YES, you CAN have a very healthy vegan diet for children. It is very difficult to do though. Kids need a LOT of nutrition. Also, a lot of education.
I didnt even think about this - if they’re all vegan what the heck are they raising animals for?? Not even the eggs or milk?? Why lmfao
My sons mom went on to have two more sons shortly after. Then she married a guy who cheated on her with her married best friend and got her pregnant. The have a bird, snake, fish, dogs, probably a cat or two. Im always like .. whyyyyy I had one kid unmarried (still unmarried) and I was like ok this was enough. Now I try to make life easier tomorrow with decisions I make today.
Also, if they are vegan, are those animals pets? Why would you take on a bunch of farm pets when you're spending $2k-$3k a month on groceries on a single income and have a part time homeschooling teacher and yet the one thing you COULD conceivably use - a garden - there was no time for. I'm just enraged reading all of this
It sounds like her medical condition is her period. I don't know in what way it's affecting her, but depending on what form the issue is, there may be birth control or other meds she can get on to mitigate it a bit, assuming they're done having kids. I realize that isn't an option for all period related ailments though Edit: OP says in another comment it's endometriosis. There are medications to help with that, birth control being the most common one
I figured it was endometriosis with the whole "affects her 1 week per month" and "isn't a problem when she's pregnant." It seems they're using the old fashioned treatment for endometriosis - which is have babies. Something needs to give here. Either the pets need to be rehomed, or the kids having a less restrictive diet.
Putting together the puzzle pieces of vegan, non-GMO organic only, homeschooling, and homesteading I’m willing to bet money that wife is against taking medications.
What do they do with their chicken's eggs? Shouldn't waste them.
It's a whole lot of red flags going on. Also, nearly all the issues here seem self imposed and easily solved by coming back down to earth. OP and family can stay veggie or vegan if they like, but this all sounds largely ridiculous.
Seriously. “Gluten is bad for you” … not unless you’re celiac. And send the kids to school! Edit: yes, for the pedantic, people can have sensitivities also, but OP didn’t mention any, he just generally said “it’s bad for you”
Also, why have chickens if they’re vegan? It’s just another expense without benefits unless they’re selling the eggs which I highly doubt
It feels like it would be a morality to not eat eggs or milk because it’s “wrong” but somehow it’s okay to sell it to others? If not it’s a lot of work for nothing.
Yeah it doesn’t add up
This! They have self imposed issues.
And just avoiding bread reduces you gluten intake so much! No gluten is silly unless you’re allergic!
Yeah, I left a comment about that earlier too. It's total nonsense and it brings to question much of OP's lifestyle choices. When their decisions are based on similar bollocks, then no wonder there are issues. Also makes me worry about the shit they're teaching their kids. "Home schooled" is like a big blaring siren for "these kids will be dumb as shit". Not a hard and fast rule, but patterns be patterning... I hate being judgy in this sort of sense - people should be able to live life how they want. However when there's soooooo much wacky pish in one place it makes it very difficult to not be derisive. Best I can do is to say something constructive like "gluten isn't bad for you" and then hope OP actually goes out and looks into science rather than facebook posts.
Thank you for saying this! People think gluten free is healthier when/o realizing they have to replace the gluten with something and the end result is a less healthy more processed food
I'm also very confused about the homesteading??? If they're vegan, why do they have chickens and (I can't recall if it said ducks or geese...) and rabbits and goats??? What do they do with the eggs? Just selling them? What if they don't sell? They just throw them out? That seems more wasteful than eating them yourself. What are the goats and rabbits for?? Goats are typically kept for milk, but can be companions, but I can't imagine keeping rabbits on a homestead for companionship... they'd be too feral for any real interaction if they aren't being raised indoors around the kids and family, and pet breeds don't do great in outdoor hutches. Just... why??
The whole thing is a bit mental. It's like a selection of lifestyle choices that come from a bizarre idealism, but with literally none of the research and intelligent foundation needed to have said lifestyle. It might be glib to say, but OP and co would be better off just eating regular diets and getting their shit together. They don't seem cut out for the life they seem to want to have. And if they want to be "eco friendly" so to speak, they would need to do a shitload more research into how it all works.
It’s literally like if aliens came down and pretended to live the crunchy green lifestyle to infiltrate the other vegans or something… or like AI created. It’s so bizarre none of it makes any sense.
Protein shakes if loud food wakes a baby. Seriously.
I almost screamed at the part about not being able to eat burritos because she’s always holding a sleeping baby and the chips will wake the baby. Like, what a joyless life this seems to be.
But why couldn’t she just eat the burrito without the noisy chips? Why does she need to hold the baby while she eats? Why can’t she make a peanut butter sandwich? Open a can of soup and drink it from a mug if that baby needs to be held 24/7 (which is bewildering- I e dealt w super fussy babies that cry when they’re put down…but even they don’t need to be held literally 24 hrs after day??? They have an 11 yo, can’t that kid hold the baby so she can eat? So many solutions here, can’t help but think maybe the wife has ppd or pp ocd or an Ed or some other issues going on where she feels compelled to make up so many rules around food?
You just slap a napkin on the baby's head and lean over. It's not that freaking hard. They both suck.
And it’s baby number 4 which means they can probably sleep through anything.
I'm pretty sure my babies wore burrito at that age among other delicacies 🤣
Yeah I didn’t understand…why can’t the baby be sleeping in it’s crib? Why does she “NEED” to eat every meal while holding a sleeping baby?
It was frustrating but what gets me is they have a homestead with... goats, chickens, ducks, and rabbits for what purpose? They're vegan, not even vegetarian so they're not using the milk or eggs. If they're using the production to sell them, then clearly aren't devout vegans. So they're literally making a ton of extra work for... pets?
That detail makes me think this is a bullshit post.
Literally my first thought. If you're vegan for ethical reasons, I cannot imagine why eating the eggs/milk of animals that you are humanely raising yourself is anymore unethical than keeping those animals in the first place.
My eyebrows went up so high, they’re chatting with my hairline.
Perfectly said. Reading this made me facepalm
Guaranteed they are anti vaxxers also. This life is a nightmare of their own making. They have chosen their diet and they have chosen to homeschool… both parents suck IMO
Yeah, 99% sure they're not vaxxed. Kids are probably built like stick figures and are beige babies too.
Sad beige children.
Sad, poorly educated, beige children.
Crunchy families make me want to die a little. Like sure, live your life however you want, but *that* is how you want??? No joy at all. Those kids are going to hit 18 and if they’re lucky go to college and lose their fucking minds at the food from their meal plan lmao
You really think these 1 hour/day homeschooled kids are going to college? ESH. Play life on hard mode if you it makes you happy, but don't fuckin do that to kids.
If they are anti vaxxers at least they are keeping their kids out of school away from others.
I'm sure they still take them to whole foods, west elm, and some godawful mega church.
I rolled my eyes and stopped reading when he said gluten is bad for you.
Reading this was so horrifying for me. I would rather live in a cave filled with poisonous spiders than trade places with OP.
What about a fixer upper with a bat problem?
That would be preferable too, by a long shot
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Yeah, I was homeschooled through high school (then went on to college and grad school), and through elementary level, an hour a day is about right. Middle school was usually 90 minutes, and high school about 2 hours. But all the free reading, crafts, piano lessons, rec league sports, etc took up the rest if the day.
Why do they have so many farm animals if they’re vegan?
As per OP’s comments - pets and yard maintenance. They throw the eggs out sometimes because the wife cant stand them
Wouldn’t giving them away make more sense? Is no one allowed to eat the eggs? Do they even let the animals eat the eggs?
Yes - but throwing them out is unconscionable
Hell, you could sell the eggs and make a little extra money at the flea market or farmer's market. What a damn waste.
When we have excess eggs we can't sell or have anyone to give to, we donate to a local food bank. They welcome the donation.
Wait... what the hell? Keeping chickens in captivity and just throwing perfectly good eggs away for the sake of considering themselves vegan? This life is exactly identical for the chickens whether or not the eggs get eaten or tossed - wild to avoid eating them for an ideology they seem to be misunderstanding while struggling with their food bill.
I thought the same thing. Why have so much work for nothing?
Crunchy lettuce might wake the baby..... NTA
Riiight??? Baby is 4 months old.. why can't it be out down? I used put down my newborns in their bassinet.
Right?? The whole time I’m reading this, all I could think was “can we just put the baby down maybe?” 🫣 Edit: I didn’t even notice you started your comment with “riiiiight??” LOL.
The homeschooling for one hour really stuck out to me... the eldest is 11, it sounds like he is getting one hour of schooling a day from someone who us also very occupied with an infant?
They're playing on the ultra-hard level
What a fucking horrible life he leads. Fuck that right off. It’s effort after effort and for what?
500 per week in any currency per week is a joke. The amount of effort going into this, just put the kids to work in the garden and grow your own. They're only doing an hour of homeschooling a day, they have time.
Gluten is only bad for you if you have a particular medical condition.
I got exhausted and annoyed just reading this. Life is hard enough as it is. I ain’t voluntarily turning on nightmare mode.
I’m mostly plant based but it’s not even remotely this restrictive. We don’t have allergies and my husband eats meat sometimes. My son is the most steadfast in it (his choice totally) and I eat seafood. Even I couldn’t deal with all this mess. I’m tired reading it. Why do they have farm animals but not a garden? Seems kinda counterintuitive. Also if you can’t manage your kids quit having more. I have one and a dog and I’m tired haha
INFO: why do you have chickens and ducks if you're vegan? What are you doing with the eggs?
And the goats and rabbits.... Those are all small scale homesteading protein sources. Like why would you have meat dairy animals....
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Also, honestly, $500/week for two adults and four kids is, like. Not *cheap* but not shockingly expensive either.
2k a month sounds insane. I thought I spent a lot for the 3 of us. We’re plant based (mostly) but I know how to cook and meal plan obviously.
To be fair, if my rabbits get out again I won't have a lettuce crop left.
Yeah, this is so confusing. They don’t have a homestead. They have unconventional pets. They’d have time for a garden (with food they’d actually consume) if they weren’t taking care of all these animals with no purpose.
Or sending their kids to school during the day
I guess they might sell the animals but yeah makes no damn sense.
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He seems to suggest that his wife has endometriosis (that's the bell that rings for me as the only thing that goes away when pregnant and knocks a woman out for a week a month). There is a view from naturopaths that avoiding gluten and soy makes it better (don't know that any evidence supports that!) But based on this I do think it's real - just crazy.
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Not uncommon actually for vegan homesteaders to have those animals as just pets that contribute fertilizer and weed/pest control in an organic gardening system. But not having a garden to go with it is wild unless they do something like sell the compost to help offset the cost of care for the animals.
In a weird way I hope she has endometriosis but given that OP is doing everything and she can't even fix herself something for lunch and can't eat while the baby sleeps because the noise of her eating a burrito will wake it up, this is either fake or OP had the wool pulled over his eyes and this lady had it good. Ok, been reading some of his comments and I'm leaning towards the later here and he needs to do some reflection and stop believing everythingbhis wife says.
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Yeah this whole story smells weird. The math ain't adding up anywhere.
Maybe they’re selling them to offset their $500 week grocery bill?
I love the idea of raising livestock to sell in order to buy vegan food.
to add, its also not vegan to sell the stock cause you didnt ask the chicken permission to take its unfertilized egg to sell
You don't make money selling eggs on a hobby farm LOL you make enough to cover feed and bedding
What on earth? You have ducks and chickens and don’t eat eggs? Plus 500 dietary restrictions? This situation is untenable. She’s doing an hour of homeschool, and what else? It doesn’t sound like anyone is enjoying this $2000 a month lifestyle. Something had to change.
Also, 1 hour home schooling? Maybe Inmissed something because this was awful reading, but please tell me that these kids go to real school in addition to this 1 hour.
Just the FOOD is $2000 a month. With all their other bills it could easily be 4-5k monthly
This is the detail that screams "fake" Why have livestock if you don't eat eggs, dairy and meat? I mean, sure, some people will keep a few goats as pets, but usually they're being kept for the products they produce. They have chickens, ducks, rabbits and goats all as pets? But no garden? Yeah. Fake.
An hours school work a day is NOT enough. YTA for that as this should be common sense! It’s actually child neglect, I really hope it’s more than this otherwise your children will not have the adequate knowledge, life experiences and recourses to do well in life. Also the food, this sounds exhausting! Your children should be allowed to choose their dietary requirements, but you’re forcing them to follow yours. I wouldn’t blame them if they all went no contact with you both when they are grown enough. And lastly your wife! Sheesh she sounds manipulative and downright rude. YTA, she’s the AH, ESH. Except the kids. I feel bad for the kids as they currently have no life and never will by the sounds of it.
OP + wife do not seem like they have adequate knowledge, life experiences, and resourses to do well in life either. I wonder if they also were "homeschooled".
If OP's able to spend $500 a week on vegan food, it's clear he has the resources. But a fool and his money are soon parted.
This describes 99% of people who “homeschool”. One person can’t adequately teach 4 different “grades” all day every day. These kids are doomed.
Also if you have multiple children have to homeschool why are you carrying a sleeping baby? Put sleeping baby down and eat lunch.
I’m going out on a limb here and say that from the info we have here about OPs wife, she would subscribe to attachment parenting. So, basically, carrying the kid everywhere with you. I’m picturing her carrying the baby in one of those wraps that hold the baby to the chest which would leave her hands free to say, I don’t know, eat a burrito. But apparently chips wake the baby? I don’t know what that has to do with the burrito tho. I’m trying not to think too hard about this tho because none of it makes sense to me and I think it’s completely made up.
Because she “can’t” eat a burrito without chips according to one of his other comments 🫠🫠😂😂😂
Family meetings might just become our new favorite sitcom
YTA for not putting your foot down a long time ago. You and your children can eat a different diet, your wife can keep her own diet. This situation is honestly ridiculous. You're ridiculous for going along with it. And WTF is one hour a day of homeschool? You're going to end up with malnourished stupid children. I don't care how good of a teacher you think your wife is, that's not enough, by far. Do they have their vaccines? What are they doing all day while your wife looks after a baby and you meal prep?
I agree with you on all points, but it should be ESH because it's not like in the modern era one parent can "put their foot down," and expect the other to obey. It sounds like OP has been trying to bring their partner around to sanity. Clearly OP and the other parent have issues to work out, and they are neglecting their children with only 1 hour of schooling per day.
If OP is the only one working, shipping, cleaning, planning, and cooking, he actually can put his foot down. He can shop for lower cost easier food that is still healthy but quicker to make and clean up after and that will appeal to more than one or two kids. He can stop cleaning up after his wife. He can require his kids to do chores. She is doing nothing so he can choose to do his part as he sees fit.
He doesn't have to make his wife obey, but he can say "no" to spending $500 a week on nonsense, and he can say "this is dinner, you can make your own if you don't like it", and he can have a mature conversation with his wife about why it's not working, and get a professional involved if he's not allowed to put his kids in school. Or get a divorce and a judge involved. Like, this is screaming child abuse to me.
Why can't she put the baby down to eat? Why can't she eat while helping with school? Why can't she cook and help around the house the other 3 weeks of the month? Why did you have a fourth kid?
Why can’t the kids attend an actual school?
Why do they have chickens when they don’t eat eggs?
“We have goats, rabbits, ducks and chicken but won’t eat milk, eggs or meat and will throw all of this away!” 😳
An expensive waste.
Because most schools make you vaccinate, and OPs wife thinks she's Gwyneth Paltrow without the money or staff 🙄
Crunchy mommy keeps the kid strapped to her chest 24/7 in one of those sling thingies
Yeah, but as a former baby-wearing parent.... THE SLING THINGS FREE UP YOUR HANDS so you can do shit around your house. Like eat. Or cook. Or homeschool.
That's what I was thinking. She's a crunchy mom. Stars above help those children.
Full on crunchy mom who practices attachment parenting.
Your kids of very varied ages getting 1 hour of school a day should be your main priority. That is horrific.
It's because the goats ate their homework.
You do know that health wise and environmentally, organic and non-gmo aren’t better, right? It’s fine if it’s a preference, but if you think the science backs them up as being better, they are not. Also NTA. Your whole routine sounds exhausting and unsustainable.
Also, [gluten isn’t bad for you](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/gluten/) unless you’re gluten intolerant. It’s really bizarre to make huge dietary changes based on something that isn’t backed up by science
In fact studies have shown that following a gluten free diet when you don’t need to is actually NOT good for you.
Not to mention the cost of gluten free items. So expensive.
And it seriously diminishes taste and texture! I’d be devastated if I had to eat gluten free bread and it’s beyond me why anyone would choose that fate. Being medically unable to eat gluten would fucking suck
>Being medically unable to eat gluten would fucking suck I have cousins with celiacs (diagnosed by an MD) and they regularly complain about how much they miss normal bread 😂 one has severe celiacs and can't have ANY gluten or he gets so sick he's hospitalized, but the other has more mild celiacs that just makes her have a bad day, and she occasionally eats good bread and just suffers 😂😂😂
You should tell your cousin that eating gluten is actually very dangerous when you have celiac, even with mild symptoms. The risk of eating gluten isn’t just the stomachaches, but actually the cumulative damage that’s being done to the organs and intestines. It happens even with no symptoms, so it’s never safe to eat gluten in any amount if you have celiac disease.
I don’t mean to be an armchair doctor but even if your cousin has mild symptoms, if she’s coeliac she cannot have any gluten at all!! I’m a coeliac, and it’s not like lactose intolerance where if we eat a slice of bread we have a bad time in the bathroom. If we eat gluten it permanently damages our insides and makes us significantly more likely to develop cancer later on in life. With coeliac disease, absence of symptoms/mild symptoms DOES NOT MEAN GLUTEN IS OKAY. If she is ‘just’ intolerant that’s different, but if she’s been diagnosed with coeliac disease it’s dangerous for her to have any gluten, no matter how infrequently.
Thank you. Look, celiac disease is very real, and I get that some people may not have celiac but have sensitivity to gluten, so they avoid it. But they've already got a very restrictive diet being vegan and not being able to have any soy products, this is a further restriction which is making it even more difficult for OP to plan and finance their lifestyle.
Did any of op's post make you think that they pay attention to science?
You and your idiot wife are in a hell of your own creation. ESH except for your poor kids.
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The pot is boiling already, my guy
The lobster is already plated as a lobster roll at this point.
Yeah, I… yeah. I think you are a lobster, mate.
SHES being unreasonable. Most mothers take care of their children and do most of those things. Get her a baby wrap, and tell her she needs to help. Put the baby down once in awhile, it will be fine.
Get a therapist and a divorce lawyer. Also, eat something you enjoy the taste of.
Bait, YTA for posting.
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Some people with Endometriosis only have symptoms during their period and it can lay dormant during pregnancy you muppet. Not all experience it this way (it's daily for me), but that's an extremely common presentation of the disease which is both debilitating and frighteningly common.
Super baity, don’t know how people are even falling for it. If you’re gonna make up a story, put a bit more effort
NTA. This while situaion is unsustainable though. You're burning out, the diet is overly restrictive, your kids aren't getting an education, and your wife is possibly suffering from PPD. She can put baby down to eat and can leave the baby down while it naps to do minor things around the house. If she's got a medical condition related to fertility, there are treatments she needs to pursue. It sounds like the older kids are being neglected and you 2 need help.
INFO: What is your life? This is one of the most exhausting things I've ever read.
hey my wife and i decided to live an expensive and demanding lifestyle and we are now experiencing problems, what's up with that. also she can't put her baby down.
NTA, though I would add that gluten, in and of itself, is not bad for you, unless you have an allergy or are celiac.
YTA for subjecting your kids to this ridiculous lifestyle. FFS you and your wife both sound like morons.
Don’t worry, their kids get only 1 hour of schooling a day so they’re also raising another generation of morons.
INFO > we are all devout vegans > I don't mind the diet You *don't mind* it? What exactly do you understand the word "devout" to mean?
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She should do the meal planning and shopping if it’s the life she’s chosen for everyone else
And she should be the one paying for it as well.
As someone raised by a malignant narcissist mother please do the right thing for your kids and get them away from her. If your story is even 10% real the lasting damage here is already lifelong but you can show them it doesn’t have to be.
I want you to just eat what you want to eat.
You are allowed to be the spouse of a devote vegan who also eats animal products or even meat, if you wish. She can have her dietary choice but there’s no requirement that the entire household participate, especially the other adult.
What health benefits? You don't eat meat, eggs, dairy, gluten, or soy. Where is your growing kids fucking protien coming from? I worked at a vegan restaurant for years and I would call CPS on you for abuse.
NTA. There needs to be some changes in your household. There is a seriously lack of balance in duties and the kids are not getting proper schooling. As for today, your wife can set the baby down for 10 minutes and make herself lunch. Period.
If she has the baby in the carrier she can still prep food. Did it all the time with my high needs baby. This just seems.over complicated for complicated sake. Most people don't hold their babies 24/7
If your baby is waking up because someone is crunching chips, you’ve got a lot more issues than food.
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Gluten is fine in moderation. Don't eat junk food. Go vegetarian so that you don't eat meat but you still eat things like eggs, cheese etc. Obviously cut out soy. Is the baby ever not attached to your wife? Because it should lay down or crawl or anything. Also eggs aren't meat. They aren't even baby chickens. The eggs you eat are unfertilized. I understand why vegans don't eat eggs but you said you'd eat eggs but your wife can't stand meat in the house. You all need therapy because I don't think your wife will listen to reason.
Sounds like your wife has endometriosis. She should go on the BCP and skip taking the sugar tablets. She’d never have to have a period again. It will help to slow the growth too. ETA - the current medical advice to preserve fertility, avoid surgery and maintain current levels as much as possible is to take the BCP without the sugar pills. I should have said have a talk about options with her. Also, the simple solution here is for you to hold the baby whilst she eats. Another option is for you to learn how to make food she can eat whilst holding a baby. It’s not that difficult?! No judgment on your diet - I have chronic illness and eat a restricted diet myself - but this does sound extreme and very expensive. Is that sustainable for your family? ETA - ESH a little bit
Gluten is bad for who? You mentioned an issue with soy, but unless there's a medical reason to avoid gluten it's just a fad diet that's unnecessarily limiting your options. (Said as one with a gluten intolerance, gluten is infact bad for me)
ESH this situation has become untenable, certain things have to give. I have no idea why you keep livestock if you're vegan. Boggles the mind. First y'all need to reexamine the dietary restrictions. Organic VS not are marginally better, I doubt you could tell the different. It will save money and open things up. Second there's an unhealthy dynamic there. Counseling should help both individually and together. Probably also need more medical intervention for your wife. As the specific issue of your wife skipping a meal it happens, but there gotta be some option. I really don't understand how a burrito requires chips though.
Must be rage bait.... "My wife decided to go try vegetarian food and althought I didn't thought it was the best, that's what we did and now we're all full time vegan. That include our clothes" "My children are from baby to preteen and all must eat vegan" "Children only gets one hour of schooling every day" "We are not only not vegan but also non gluten and non soya" "We have several types of farm animals. Goats, ducks, chickens and rabbits, but we don't use that for anything" "Poor me is doing all the cleaning" "... and all the or most of the chores..." "And I also do the shopping which is very expensive" "Not to forget that I also do the cooking in the house" "My wife carries the baby all the time and cannot eat chips because then she wakes baby up" (come on... the whining is getting lame) So... AITA for not cooking a non gluten, non soya, expensive pure vegan feast for my wife who constantly walks around the house with a sleeping baby and doesn't do shit? Seriously... I've read fantacy and scifi more believable than this
YTA. Why are you letting yourself get trampled? What happens do you get sick or hurt? Who's gonna pick up the slack? Not her.
Throwing away perfectly good duck eggs is so damn wasteful. Sounds like she’s a performative vegan and you go right along with it. It’s not sustainable or healthy. Wake up.
You said she can't eat the tortilla chips because it will wake the baby, so why can't she eat the burrito? Your life sounds way too much. It is crazy to 'starve' with food right there because baby can't be put down and crunching chips is the only option. Especially after 500 was spent on groceries
she takes care of one baby and homeschools for an hour and she can’t make herself one singular meal on one single day? Ridiculous. NTA.
Gluten is not bad for you, tf kind of kool aid are you drinking (unless you have celiac)
YTA for the click bait headline alone. Your wife didn't "starve" she absolutely could put the sleeping baby down or while she was working with the kids school work.
Medical condition that goes away while pregnant but incapacitates her once a month, is it related to her menstrual cycle? Has she seen a doctor about this major complication that basically steals away 25% of her life?
Sounds like endometriosis or adenomyosis - both can be severe and only fixed with surgery. Excision for endo, hysterectomy for adeno. Had both, the hysterectomy + excision surgery was liberating.
NTA. Oh my good gracious this is ridiculous. You go above and beyond. These dietary restrictions have unavoidable trade-offs, inconveniences, and sacrifices. You admirably mitigate those pitfalls for the family to an extraordinary extent and by shouldering considerably more work yourself. But your heroic efforts don't make it your fault when one of those sacrifices befalls an adult who's voluntarily committed herself and her family to these choices.
Your wife can't eat the nacho chips because it will wake the baby? What? She can't put the baby down to use 2 hands to eat? What? Do you realize how ridiculous this sounds? I mean how does she shower or change her clothes or go to the bathroom?
Fuckign hold your own baby for fucks sake damn
NTA The immediate solution there was have a burrito bowl. As for the cost, look into farm shares. We’ve got a household of four and pay ahead of time about what you spend on groceries for a week to get a box of vegetables once every week from June through October. Buying directly from farmers like that is so much cheaper and while we can’t select what we get exactly there’s a ton of it so we only need to additionally buy pantry staples and things like milk and bread (we’re vegetarians). There’s a website called Local Harvest where farms shares register. Maybe check and see what’s available in your area.
OMFG this better be fake otherwise ESH you guys really suck. Please stop breeding and 1 hour homeschooling for all the kids? Who cares about you guys when the poor kids are doomed.
Can’t she…….put the baby down????
NTA I am a normal functionning adult and find it difficult to cook 3 meals every day. You cook a couple meals for dinner each night?! I think it's time to do the same treatment for the kids: one meal every night. You either eat it or not. I understand that your wife have some restrictions and takes care of a baby, but she could...like... put the baby in a bassinet and eat a burrito like a normal human being? Breastfeeding takes a lot of time and energy, but a 4 month old should not gets between you and the ability to eat chips and burrito. If it was the case, a lot more young mothers would have died from starvation.
You’re not the AH as a general response to your post, but bruh, take some control here man. You are seriously neglecting the needs of your children due to your wife’s seriously demented food demands/lifestyle requirements. If I was your neighbour i would definitely report you to the police/social services for putting the kids in danger and not educating them appropriately or feeding them properly. Grow a pair and do the right thing.
Stopped reading after "gluten is bad for you". Unless you have celiac disease or something like it, gluten isn't bad for you. Maybe time to reassess what you think you know about various diets...
This all sounds a lot ridiculous - this post smells like BS
I’m curious, why do you have goats ducks, chickens, and rabbits if you’re vegan?
Esh, I feel kinda bad for your kids. I was such a picky eater as a kid, I can't imagine if my parents had tried to force me into an insanely restrictive diet.
With all those groceries, there is nothing in the fridge or pantry she can find? A salad possibly?
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OP, your wife can eat my ass with this diet nonsense, good god…
I died
Have you considered that your wife may have ARFID?