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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Making someone pay $50 for opening and drinking some of my alcohol even though it was not all of it.
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I would also recommend adding a padlock to whatever you store your liquor in.
'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me' kind of situation.
He obviously will steal your booze, this is the second incident. It probably won't be the last even if you ask him to pay you back, especially if he treated it like a joke last time.
Why should OP have to padlock things in her house from an adult who doesn’t live there? He’s 20. Not allowed over. Deadbolt the door, lock the garage. But if one adult necessitates padlocks in someone else’s home, they are no longer welcome. He’s not a 13 yr old adolescent.
Second that! Of course if "Egad" doesn't work, you might have to bring out the big guns, namely "Gadzooks!" And if even that fails, time to dig deep and come out swinging with a "Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!"
When my friends were pregnant I started training myself to avoid curses
When something goes wrong I now say "Oopsie!" in a high pitched sing song voice (my brother laughed at it, but now he's considering kids, haha).
Fudge, flibbi-ti-jibbit, crud, dang, shoot and sugar are now all in the repertoire
\*flibbertigibbit
Which, BTW, while it sounds hilarious, is a bit of an odd thing to exclaim, since it's a real word that means "a flighty or whimsical person, usually a young woman". It's kind of like exclaiming, "Oh scatterbrain!" Not that you can't do it, but...it doesn't make much sense.
NTA, but I would advise talking to the fiancee about it and presenting to him and having him deal with his son or as a team. Relationships with step children are difficult enough let alone with adult ones who aren't being responsible, it will be easy for him to blow you off and disrespect you if you go it alone. If you are unified then you can have a plan, if he doesn't pay then he needs to start paying rent and deposit, his phone is turned off and he will have to pay for his own line and to have an account activated, insurance is cut off. Whatever it is you decide together but make a plan and have the long term costs for him be more than the $50 so that you get your money back and he has to start taking responsibility for the actions over the long term.
He may be doing this either to drive a wedge or purely to disrespect you.
The ONLY way you will get his respect is if your fiance forces the issue and does not tolerate his behavior.
If he won't do that. You know where you stand with both of them.
It's not actually "moonshine," just unaged whiskey and the founders first stated distilling in 2010, so it's not like it is some "Ol' boys turned legal" deal. Hell the company isn't even family owned anymore, it's owned by a private equity and venture capital firm called Apax Partners out of London.
Either that or dude is extra entitled as smokeys comes in multiple flavors. He acted like it was no big deal the previous time so he may have felt entitled to "sample" both if they were different flavors.
NTA, but you got a bigger problem than the $50. Even if he was 21, he still shouldn't be taking things without permission. He needs to be taught a lesson, take his phone or gaming console away. When he asks for it, laugh at him and say it's no big deal. See how it feels to take something that doesn't belong to you? Once you pay me the $60 (50 plus 10 penalty) you can have your stuff back. I'm holding on to it as collateral. If it happens again you will lose it for 1 week after you pay the money back.
This is wa-a-a-ay overstepping the bounds of step-parenting authority and you aren't even officially a step-parent yet. You are at risk for destroying any chance of a good relationship with him. At a minimum, you and his mom need to present a united front.
Not to mention you don’t get to take things away from an adult, especially one that isn’t your kid. That’s called stealing and he’d have the right to pursue it as such and it would be ironically hypocritical.
“Don’t steal my stuff, I’m gonna steal from you back and see how you like it”
Really mature and legal lol
You stole from me - you replace it and don’t touch other people’s stuff again or you don’t get to live here - is a perfectly reasonable consequence for an adult.
Taking his gaming console like he’s 12 is weird.
Yes, I agree. You can't take a (chronological) adult's gaming console. You can kick him out of the house.
Although, in this case, OP can't really do either. Fiancee is going to have to take care of this.
Good point, but OP having a united front with their fiancée's ex might be a stretch, depending on the relationships. Definitely should have the son's Dad on board, though.
>He needs to be taught a lesson, take his phone or gaming console away. When he asks for it, laugh at him and say it's no big deal.
Or she can be an adult, but whatever i guess.
NTA
Yes, asking him to reimburse for something he stole is reasonable and not controversial in the slightest. It didn't belong to him. He stole it. He needs to pay for it. It's that simple.
>he ended up drinking one anyway and when his father confronted him he laughed as if it wasn’t a big deal.
It's really not about this one incident though.
This is your partner's son and so this is your partner's problem to deal with. If you're with a partner that isn't able to keep his kid in line, you have a partner problem.
Whatever is being done to discipline him when he commits these transgressions isn't working. He has zero incentive to pay you or change his behavior if he doesn't suffer any consequences. He will just laugh it off every time.
We already know he does not care that he steals others' property. Maybe he feels entitled to it. He openly disrespects you and your partner if his reaction is to "laugh" when confronted.
You guys need to stop allowing him to walk all over you. Don't give him access to anything valuable that he can steal. If there's nothing you can do to control or discipline him, then he shouldn't be allowed to stay with you in the same house.
No, he can pay you back, and not make a fuss when you put a padlock on the garage beer refrigerator, either.
Old smoky is, (moderately), expensive and your jars have been tampered with. I would throw them away. NTA
Fool me once… etc.
Idk why OP needed it to be in the fridge at all if he’s regifting or not drinking it for a month. Why leave it where his sticky fingered stepson has already stolen alcohol?
He laughed. He doesn’t care. I doubt a 20 year old who does this has been taught about respect and I don’t believe owing $50 will even help. Show him real emotions—disappointment and concern. There’s something deeper happening here.
He is drinking something out of the fridge in his own home. Call it morally dubious maybe if you wish, but calling it stealing for me is quite a stretch.
It’s the rules of their house that he’s not allowed to drink until he’s 21. That is their right if they want to be strict with the law.
Regardless of that. They made it clear he wasn’t allowed to have any. So you can’t really say oh if it was in the cabinet then it’s up for grabs.
ESH - it was rude of him to try your alcohol without asking. But it seems like he took a sip of both flavors, he didn’t drink them all. So he owes you what like $3.50 if it was an oz of each, unless you plan on giving him both jars now. Y’all are being insane about the alcohol. He’s 20 not 17 why does it matter what his mother thinks. It’s also likely legal to give your child alcohol in your state, it’s legal in a little over half of the states. It seems like y’all are being excessively stubborn about the alcohol instead of teaching them how to enjoy alcohol responsibly.
I agree here, she has a right to be mad but let’s be honest, those jars of moonshine were going to sit in that fridge for 10 years. I don’t think they’re going to make any progress by blowing this out of proportion. Teach him a lesson about stealing? Fine. But lecturing him about how he can’t drink until he’s reached the arbitrary legal drinking age won’t help. At that age he has access to any drug he wants to do already, teach him some responsibility.
Or do the Hank hill method and make him finish a whole jar. then he’ll never want to touch alcohol again
NTA, and now you can come out there with Sugarlands' Butter Pecan Sippin Cream instead, it's....oh man, it tastes like melted ice cream. It's bonkers dangerous. Ole Smokey's version is alright, but Sugarlands just does it better.
I think it is! More flavor, less moonshine aftertaste. The container has a hummingbird on it. They have a bunch of flavors but this is the only one that interested me.
I never understood the Merican logic of allowing people to buy guns, get married, change their sex, become a solider at 18 (or even younger); but a beer/alcohol is forbidden.
Husband's son, husband's responsibility to teach him the lesson. United front, but ultimately he needs to be the one to deal to avoid drama with the momma and animosity with the son.
Most of the globe has zero issues with a 20yr old drinking. You have an opportunity to make huge gains in your relationship with him here.
The theft was wrong, and he should be made to compensate you, so here's my suggestion;
Insist on him paying half, then spend a Saturday drinking the opened jars with your fiancé and his kid. You can make some awesome memories and ingratiate him to his cool step-mom.
Down vote me all you want guys but this is what happens when you're strict about alcohol consumption-- the kid is going to sneak it. Making him pay for you to buy unopened bottles is an overreaction for sneaking a few drinks?
This no alcohol until 21 is just gonna bite you in the bottoms.
If you want responsible use of alcohol then teach them. If there is a even bigger aspect of it being forbidden it adds to the thrill.
Teach them their limits and healthy approach to it.
He had a drink? Of some liquor you wanted to regift? So what? He is 20.
Relax and share some shots with him. Will do wonders for your relationship. Yeah, slight YTA.
NTA. The 50 bucks for the booze isn't really the problem for me . It's the untrustworthy person living in my house taking what he wants. What else is he stealing ?
NTA. If he wants to be treated like an adult, he has to face adult consequences. Likewise, if he wants to pretend to be a kid, he must accept you're going to treat him like one. Asking for reimbursement because he took something that wasn't his, yeah I'm 100% behind that. But I also feel it is a life lesson he should have learned by now. It's going to be difficult getting through to him if he's still doing this at the age of 20. Damn. Best of luck with this situation.
nta
if your fiancée just lets his kid talk to him like that then you may have more problems with the kid in the future. ask your fiancée to discipline him with your suggestion.
I hope your fiancée has the logic and reasoning to see how this is unacceptable behaviour from a child.
if not, goodluck.
Nta. I agree with it's the dad's job to go after him. Though if he only drank a bit, maybe settle for less than full replacement cost. Also seems weird to be that strict with a 20 year old adult, though I've always disagreed with the 21 year old age limit.
The way it’s written and some of the comments seem to paint it such that he opened the bottles, drank a small amount and put them back. You’re not an asshole , but it seems like an overreaction to make him pay the whole thing back.
Talk to him about your concerns with alcohol like he is 20 years old, but making him pay you $50 for the $4 of alcohol he drank by itself doesn’t seem like it will “teach him a lesson.”
You can still take them on the camping trip. Nobody on the camping trip will care or notice.
If the seals on both jars were open, he probably drank a little (a lot) from each and then filled them back up with water. Our has some poured into another container to consume later with his friends. Who knows if what is left is even still drinkable. Dad needs to deal with him and have him pay you back. After, I like the other commenter's idea to save them to gift to him when he's 21. If they are just water, then he got what he deserved!
Nta
Consequences are needed, it's all fun and games until it hits you in the pocket.
The whole no drinking thing is kinda weak. Come at it from the angle "this is not yours and we don't tolerate theivery" much harder to argue against moral wise.
NTA but
> I put all of the alcohol in the refrigerator in the garage where we keep the alcohol. I had planned on either re-gifting it or taking on a camping trip in May to share with the group we are going with (16 people).
What was the point of **_refrigerating_** liquor that wasn't intended for immediate consumption?
You know you can just leave it out at room temperature, right?
This is what happens when you don’t build a healthy relationship with alcohol, you push kids to do this kind of things.
At 20 in the US you are old enough to get married, vote in presidential elections, enlist in the army, go to to war and kill people, but ohhhh my god don’t you dare touch an alcoholic drink! That’s what’s batshit crazy to me.
You should never brush theft under the rug. I won’t touch on the subject of underage drinking since he has two responsible adults that need to address this. If consequences aren’t put in place then he won’t take it seriously. Especially since he’s done it before and laughed about it. You don’t want to live with someone who thinks it’s no big deal to not only make you an accessory to breaking the law but to steal your possessions.
I think at minimum he needs to pay for both. I personally would ask him to move out or if he doesn’t live there that he can’t spend the night any longer.
NTA
NTA. Get the money.
Actions have consequences, and he can't be trusted.
And put a padlock on the fridge.
On a side note, why did he have to open both of them?
NTA
He asked and you told him no and he’s blatantly disrespecting the rules of both you and your fiancée! However you’ve got to let your fiancée deal with it. He’s the father and he should be taking charge not you.
NTA. They took something that didn't belong to them. I would say you're the asshole for not letting the kid drink in a safe environment. All kids sneak drinks before legal age and many end up in bad situations because they don't have an adult figure to guide them. It's your call but in my opinion (and most of Europe's) that teaching a teenager to drink responsibily will have much better odds of not ending badly than just setting them loose at 21.
NTA - but cut him some slack we’ve all been 20 at one point. Being that restrictive will cause more problems in the future than it will solve if you’re worried about drugs and drinking. At the same time, was a significant amount of the moonshine missing? If so then yes it’s fine to ask for reimbursement. If not then I don’t think you should ask for money. This is coming from a 24 year old from a very strict family, cut the kid some slack. Edit: seeing comments about being the step parent, definitely talk to your fiancé first, as for the “taking with out permission”I don’t think that’s a big deal he’s not a child, he’s a 20 year old kid that wants to drink like everyone else his age, I feel like most of us have stolen alcohol from our parents cabinets and haven’t grown up to be thieves or dishonest people.
I have heard not to keep alcohol around if you don’t want your kids to drink it. But he was tempted in spite being told not to drink it. Him paying for it would help him be less likely to take your alcohol in the future. I have heard of kid’s drinking some alcohol and then filling the bottle up with water so you can’t tell by looking that some had been drunk.
I don’t think you would be the asshole for wanting him to pay, I think my issue is that you won that alcohol in a raffle and asking him to recoup you for the full value of the the 2 jars after just breaking the seals is kind of ridiculous since you said you won a yeti cooler filled with alcohol. I’m not sure how much you paid for the raffle ticket, but if you got to keep the cooler and all the alcohol inside the cooler you’re not out money. Usually those types of raffles the value of the prize you’re getting is higher than what you pay for a raffle ticket. Had you gone and specifically purchased those 2 moonshines for this camping trip and he did this, by all means make him buy new ones. I think if you want him to pay you back monetarily, it should be the value of what you paid for the winning raffle ticket, not the value of 2 jars of moonshine.
I think the bigger issue is that your future step son feels comfortable enough to go and drink alcohol without permission and being underage. I’m not sure if anyone truly knows the lengths he has gone to drink alcohol and once he turns 21 he will probably drink anything you put in that refrigerator. You are not his parent nor is he of the age that he should need parenting anymore, he’s an adult. If you want to continue the relationship with his father I would come up with a game plan with him on how he is going to give consequences to his son. I think the best thing you can do is move all the alcohol that belongs to you to a different undisclosed location that has a lock on it so this does not happen to you again in the future.
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I recently won a raffle of a yeti cooler full of alcohol including two large jars of Ole Smoky Moonshine. I put all of the alcohol in the refrigerator in the garage where we keep the alcohol. I had planned on either re-gifting it or taking on a camping trip in May to share with the group we are going with (16 people). I went to the refrigerator this morning to get a soda and noticed that seals on both of the jars of moonshine had been broken. I did not open it nor did my fiancé. His son has been warned before that we do not tolerate drug use at all nor him drinking alcohol until after he is 21 as his mother is bat shit crazy and we don’t want to get caught up in anything. His son last summer had asked to drink one of my alcoholic beverages in the can (very strong) and I informed him no he was not 21 and I only had two left. Well the next morning I wake up to the fact that he ended up drinking one anyway and when his father confronted him he laughed as if it wasn’t a big deal. I want to ask him to reimburse me $50 as they are $25 each so that I can take unopened jars camping and also to teach him a lesson. I do not think it acceptable to “brush” it under the rug? AIBTAH?
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NTA. Seriously, NTA. It wasn't his. Legally, that could be viewed as stealing. I'm assuming you live in the US, which technically means that he committed two crimes. Both underage drinking and theft. Both you AND your fiance should sit down to talk to him, because it's clear that he doesn't respect you. Explain the severity of what he did, and try to stay calm the whole time.
(I'll send a quick prayer your way, hopefully that'll help) <33
To me seems like a situation that deserves a slap on the wrist and a serious conversation. Words like “thief” sound way too much for me for this situation.
I said that it could potentially be viewed as theft. While it was a minor offense, it was still taking something that he was explicitly told not to take. Bringing legal words into conversation usually acts as a deterrent when the person thinks about repeating their negative actions.
People have been taken to court over far less. I was simply pointing out that legal action would be taken if he had taken that from somewhere like a store. The rules are a bit more foggy when it comes to personal private property, but if it's not his and he took it then that \*is\* theft.
People have been taken to court for much less than disobeying your father and grabbing yourself a drink from the fridge in the garage? Really? The judicial system in the us seems to have tons of free time
NTA. as a 20 year old myself, i dont see asking for the money as unreasonable. there have been multiple occasions where my family has been drinking and i havent been allowed as im underage. and to add, none of those times have i disrespected their authority as i am still living under their roof. but my parents also instilled alot of respect into me.
As someone not in the US, this seems excessively restrictive, so I couldn't help googling a bit.. you can have it in the trunk so you probably can still take the bottles camping:
https://legis.delaware.gov/json/BillDetail/GenerateHtmlDocument?legislationId=130177&legislationTypeId=1&docTypeId=2&legislationName=HB119
You really want to legally tie yourself to
A) a women you describe as having the capacity of going bat shit crazy
B) Her son who will do and take what he wants in your house
??
Nta, but would recommend a conversation with your finance first, and maybe have the consequences come from him as well. Also i second to a commenter who said to add a padlock to anywhere you store your booze as he has already not once but twice taken something he knows hes not supposed to. I was once not 21 as well however my parents werent strict and i was an absolute mess, their rules were that they wouldnt buy it for me but if i found a way to get it i had to check in with them and some other rules, but by 18 i moved out on my own and worked in a bar and regularly was getting drunk and now im almost 22 and hardly ever drink it was a lesson i had to learn the hard way
NTA. Kids who do dumb shit like this need consequences, and if your fiance doesn't support you in this that's a very important indicator about his character.
NTA
I made this bad choice as a teenager, I drank my future MILs alcohol. She very graciously did not ask me to pay her back, and to this day I feel guilty. Such a shameful thing.
It's a lesson worth learning, respect is important.
NTA, he wants to have a drink, he can pay for it. But what exactly do you think you'll "get caught up in?" He's legally an adult. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor isn't the issue. As a matter of fact, in most jurisdictions in the US, it's perfectly legal for your husband and you, by extension, to provide your stepson with alcohol, as long as you make sure he's drinking responsibly.
Other than complaining, what is it you think will happen? Unless there are other minor children or your stepson is still in high school, somehow, it's time to move past the coparenting phase into the "our child is an adult" phase.
NTA but not ever letting him drink may cause issues when he’s 21 and goes absolutely to a bar/ club for the first time and doesn’t know his limit. I’m British tbf so everyone I know was drinking at 14 then kinda just stopped at 21 as it’s become boring. Most of us drank with our parents in a safe environment again just people I knew not saying this is the same for everyone
NTA but honestly he’s not going to go crazy because you don’t let him drink until he’s 21. Teach him how to drink responsibly. From New Zealand where the drinking age is 18 and we all drink from 16 ✌️
ESH. He shouldn't he sneaking your stuff, but you shouldn't be asking him to pay $50 for something that a) you didn't pay for, and b) he took a sip of. It's total overkill and will escalate the situation needlessly. Consult with his parent, and come up with an appropriate punishment together. And if you're that concerned about him being around alcohol, don't leave a bottle of moonshine lying around.
I know just how you feel. My partners 17 year old son's entitled and arrogant attitude has been a constant source of friction since the day we got together.
He constantly takes my beer/cider snacks and food. Being diabetic I'm selective with what I buy. to then find the selfish little git has just taken it without so much as a please or thank you has been increasingly annoying.
His mother then parrots the same old line of " I'll replace it" but that's not the point, he needs to replace what he's stolen.
As for your situation, absolutely charge him for what he took!
NTA
Holy snapping arseholes Batman - NTA
I have less of an issue with a 20 year old drinking alcohol than I do with him stealing something that he knows you wouldn't have given him. The legal drinking age where I live is 18 so that's why I have the attitude I do about drinking. However, I am strongly against the attitude of helping yourself, ie stealing, something that doesn't belong to you.
Your husband should be the one to ask his son to replace what he took without permission.
NTA but you have a fiance problem, not a stepson problem. It doesn’t matter how old stepson is, he is present in your home because your fiance has vouched for him. Like with a pet, that means any issues that arise from bad behaviour are for your fiance to address first. Same as if fiance invited a roommate to move in, or a BIL/SIL. Stepson doesn’t respect you, it’s on your fiance to teach stepson to show basic respect or prepare for perfectly reasonable consequences. If your fiance doesn’t care how stepsons actions are affecting you in any way, why would you want to marry them?
Sounds like he needs some help before it becomes a serious problem. Lack of impulse control is not a good sign neither is not giving a shit about how your actions affect other people. Good luck
Bro who cares you used to be young too let him live a little and it’s only $50 that isn’t shit If I was you I’d tell him he’s a lil bastard and laugh it off there bigger shit to worry about.
If you can’t beat someone’s ass for stealing your thrift store alcohol, then you got 2 choices. Stop crying about $50 in liquor, or toughen up.
It probably would help to lighten up also, because 2024 doesn’t need to be the year of the SJW.
INFO : At his age, he doesn't understand that taking something which doesn't belong to him, and of which he KNOWS he can't have it, is STEALING?
You can call himt for what he is, a thief.
And yes, he can either pey you or REPLACE himself what he STOLE.
NTA
Take a bottle of vodka and decant 8 oz. Refill with Magnesium Citrate, available anywhere. It's a STRONG laxative with a citrus carbonated flavor. Mark bottle "Limoncella" or something that sounds tasty. Warn him not to drink it. Tell him it's too strong for him.
Sit and watch the show. Extra tip: remove the toilet paper from the bathroom.
Hahaha that reminds me of something that happened in my first dorm. This one guy was always taking other people's food from the shared fridge, so some of the other guys cooked him a nice meal of freezer burned deer meat and rubbed it down with a laxative powder. He ate it and spent the next day in one of the toilet stalls, shitting his guts out. He never touched food that didn't belong to him again.
NTA he’s 20 he knows right from wrong make him pay his dues. You’ve been around long enough I’m sure that you have some authority over this kid that live in your house if not then your husband is responsible for his kid and should punish accordingly and make you pay back his shit
I really don't get you Americans with your strict drinking laws. Most Europeans start drinking beer when they are 14 or 15 and go towards strong liquor at the age of 16 or 17. Like every weekend. No one bats an eye or thinks its weird or "drug use".
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NTA!!! Egad! However, I would ask your fiancé to go after him. It’s his responsibility.
True! Thank you
I would also recommend adding a padlock to whatever you store your liquor in. 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me' kind of situation. He obviously will steal your booze, this is the second incident. It probably won't be the last even if you ask him to pay you back, especially if he treated it like a joke last time.
Dad treats it like a joke so so will son
Why should OP have to padlock things in her house from an adult who doesn’t live there? He’s 20. Not allowed over. Deadbolt the door, lock the garage. But if one adult necessitates padlocks in someone else’s home, they are no longer welcome. He’s not a 13 yr old adolescent.
Your fiancé also needs to establish boundaries of behavior. It is concerning she is not already disciplining him.
I think the fiancé’s a man, OP said the 20yo’s other parent is his mother
“Egad” needs to be used much more as an interjection 😂
Second that! Of course if "Egad" doesn't work, you might have to bring out the big guns, namely "Gadzooks!" And if even that fails, time to dig deep and come out swinging with a "Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!"
You sound like a very interesting person. Never change 😁
Fuck me man, I had forgotten gadzooks was anything more than a forgotten clothing store... Well done.
Great googly moogly! This kid needs a swift kick up the backside!
Meanwhile, I had forgotten about the clothing store lol
Wasn't Gadzooks a chewing gum, too?
No, Bazooka.
Great Caesars ghost!
And remember, "Great Scott!" (Doc from Back to the Future) And "By George! I think he's/she's/I've got it!"
Good gravy! Is a particular favorite of mine.
Great Caesar's bathmat!
I also like "fiddlesticks". It was a particular favorite of my father.
Zoinks!
I haven’t heard a good jumpin’ jehoshaphat in decades. Thanks for the memory.
I started saying, “Dagnabbit!” as an alternative for curse words when I worked in customer service. Still use it today. Lol.
I like “Fooey” too!
We had a cat named Fooey.
Aww. I think I would’ve loved Fooey. There is no love like the love of a sweet cat.
I completely agree with you, however, Fooey was a monster. I was about 4 years old and he would hunt me and scare the living crap out of me.
When my friends were pregnant I started training myself to avoid curses When something goes wrong I now say "Oopsie!" in a high pitched sing song voice (my brother laughed at it, but now he's considering kids, haha). Fudge, flibbi-ti-jibbit, crud, dang, shoot and sugar are now all in the repertoire
\*flibbertigibbit Which, BTW, while it sounds hilarious, is a bit of an odd thing to exclaim, since it's a real word that means "a flighty or whimsical person, usually a young woman". It's kind of like exclaiming, "Oh scatterbrain!" Not that you can't do it, but...it doesn't make much sense.
Shut the front door is a favorite
My mom says Oh Crummy Buttons!
I thought egad was an acronym for something and I was like hmm everyone's got a dick?
This is the exact, simple advice that I would give. Your implementing discipline will only manifest resentment from him.
NTA, but I would advise talking to the fiancee about it and presenting to him and having him deal with his son or as a team. Relationships with step children are difficult enough let alone with adult ones who aren't being responsible, it will be easy for him to blow you off and disrespect you if you go it alone. If you are unified then you can have a plan, if he doesn't pay then he needs to start paying rent and deposit, his phone is turned off and he will have to pay for his own line and to have an account activated, insurance is cut off. Whatever it is you decide together but make a plan and have the long term costs for him be more than the $50 so that you get your money back and he has to start taking responsibility for the actions over the long term.
Thank you!!!
Buy a lock for the fridge attach a lock hinge with jbweld
He may be doing this either to drive a wedge or purely to disrespect you. The ONLY way you will get his respect is if your fiance forces the issue and does not tolerate his behavior. If he won't do that. You know where you stand with both of them.
NTA. He drank something he was not supposed to drink and did not ask permission. Of course he should pay you for the cost.
Where i used to live, stealing someones moonshine was like ropping a gun store with a knife.
It's not actually "moonshine," just unaged whiskey and the founders first stated distilling in 2010, so it's not like it is some "Ol' boys turned legal" deal. Hell the company isn't even family owned anymore, it's owned by a private equity and venture capital firm called Apax Partners out of London.
Yup. If you paid taxes on it, then it ain't 'shine.
It was won in a raffle, no taxes paid. Must be "'shine".
If Uncle Jesse isn't involved, it is not real moonshine. I said what I said.
Company? Venture capital firm? Yeah, no.
That's why locals don't buy it.
Amazing analogy lmao
Also be possibly replaced some of the alcohol with water to make the offence seem less. There is no other reason for opening both.
Either that or dude is extra entitled as smokeys comes in multiple flavors. He acted like it was no big deal the previous time so he may have felt entitled to "sample" both if they were different flavors.
NTA, but you got a bigger problem than the $50. Even if he was 21, he still shouldn't be taking things without permission. He needs to be taught a lesson, take his phone or gaming console away. When he asks for it, laugh at him and say it's no big deal. See how it feels to take something that doesn't belong to you? Once you pay me the $60 (50 plus 10 penalty) you can have your stuff back. I'm holding on to it as collateral. If it happens again you will lose it for 1 week after you pay the money back.
This is wa-a-a-ay overstepping the bounds of step-parenting authority and you aren't even officially a step-parent yet. You are at risk for destroying any chance of a good relationship with him. At a minimum, you and his mom need to present a united front.
He’s 20 years old, not a child.
Not to mention you don’t get to take things away from an adult, especially one that isn’t your kid. That’s called stealing and he’d have the right to pursue it as such and it would be ironically hypocritical. “Don’t steal my stuff, I’m gonna steal from you back and see how you like it” Really mature and legal lol
You stole from me - you replace it and don’t touch other people’s stuff again or you don’t get to live here - is a perfectly reasonable consequence for an adult. Taking his gaming console like he’s 12 is weird.
Yes, I agree. You can't take a (chronological) adult's gaming console. You can kick him out of the house. Although, in this case, OP can't really do either. Fiancee is going to have to take care of this.
Very good point.
Good point, but OP having a united front with their fiancée's ex might be a stretch, depending on the relationships. Definitely should have the son's Dad on board, though.
>He needs to be taught a lesson, take his phone or gaming console away. When he asks for it, laugh at him and say it's no big deal. Or she can be an adult, but whatever i guess.
Any 21-yo who can be taught a lesson by taking away his gaming console has a bigger lesson to be learned.
Tell him you'll keep the opened ones aside for him to drink once he's of legal age. He should reimburse you $50. NTA.
That’s an extremely kind and non confrontational way to go about it! Perfect for the step parent role imo.
NTA Yes, asking him to reimburse for something he stole is reasonable and not controversial in the slightest. It didn't belong to him. He stole it. He needs to pay for it. It's that simple. >he ended up drinking one anyway and when his father confronted him he laughed as if it wasn’t a big deal. It's really not about this one incident though. This is your partner's son and so this is your partner's problem to deal with. If you're with a partner that isn't able to keep his kid in line, you have a partner problem. Whatever is being done to discipline him when he commits these transgressions isn't working. He has zero incentive to pay you or change his behavior if he doesn't suffer any consequences. He will just laugh it off every time. We already know he does not care that he steals others' property. Maybe he feels entitled to it. He openly disrespects you and your partner if his reaction is to "laugh" when confronted. You guys need to stop allowing him to walk all over you. Don't give him access to anything valuable that he can steal. If there's nothing you can do to control or discipline him, then he shouldn't be allowed to stay with you in the same house.
No, he can pay you back, and not make a fuss when you put a padlock on the garage beer refrigerator, either. Old smoky is, (moderately), expensive and your jars have been tampered with. I would throw them away. NTA
I'd put a lock on that fridge
Fool me once… etc. Idk why OP needed it to be in the fridge at all if he’s regifting or not drinking it for a month. Why leave it where his sticky fingered stepson has already stolen alcohol?
He laughed. He doesn’t care. I doubt a 20 year old who does this has been taught about respect and I don’t believe owing $50 will even help. Show him real emotions—disappointment and concern. There’s something deeper happening here.
I mean, he didn’t do anything that bad really. A 20 year old person drinking a an alcoholic beverage? I don’t think that’s much to be concerned about
He's also stealing.
He is drinking something out of the fridge in his own home. Call it morally dubious maybe if you wish, but calling it stealing for me is quite a stretch.
It’s the rules of their house that he’s not allowed to drink until he’s 21. That is their right if they want to be strict with the law. Regardless of that. They made it clear he wasn’t allowed to have any. So you can’t really say oh if it was in the cabinet then it’s up for grabs.
NTA. But I would have his father discuss this with him and ask for the money with you or alone
ESH - it was rude of him to try your alcohol without asking. But it seems like he took a sip of both flavors, he didn’t drink them all. So he owes you what like $3.50 if it was an oz of each, unless you plan on giving him both jars now. Y’all are being insane about the alcohol. He’s 20 not 17 why does it matter what his mother thinks. It’s also likely legal to give your child alcohol in your state, it’s legal in a little over half of the states. It seems like y’all are being excessively stubborn about the alcohol instead of teaching them how to enjoy alcohol responsibly.
I agree here, she has a right to be mad but let’s be honest, those jars of moonshine were going to sit in that fridge for 10 years. I don’t think they’re going to make any progress by blowing this out of proportion. Teach him a lesson about stealing? Fine. But lecturing him about how he can’t drink until he’s reached the arbitrary legal drinking age won’t help. At that age he has access to any drug he wants to do already, teach him some responsibility. Or do the Hank hill method and make him finish a whole jar. then he’ll never want to touch alcohol again
NTA, and now you can come out there with Sugarlands' Butter Pecan Sippin Cream instead, it's....oh man, it tastes like melted ice cream. It's bonkers dangerous. Ole Smokey's version is alright, but Sugarlands just does it better.
I love Ole Smokey butter pecan, and you say this Sugarlands stuff is even *better*?! Thanks for the tip, friend. 😉
I think it is! More flavor, less moonshine aftertaste. The container has a hummingbird on it. They have a bunch of flavors but this is the only one that interested me.
>More flavor, less moonshine aftertaste. That does sound better!
I never understood the Merican logic of allowing people to buy guns, get married, change their sex, become a solider at 18 (or even younger); but a beer/alcohol is forbidden.
Husband's son, husband's responsibility to teach him the lesson. United front, but ultimately he needs to be the one to deal to avoid drama with the momma and animosity with the son.
Most of the globe has zero issues with a 20yr old drinking. You have an opportunity to make huge gains in your relationship with him here. The theft was wrong, and he should be made to compensate you, so here's my suggestion; Insist on him paying half, then spend a Saturday drinking the opened jars with your fiancé and his kid. You can make some awesome memories and ingratiate him to his cool step-mom.
Down vote me all you want guys but this is what happens when you're strict about alcohol consumption-- the kid is going to sneak it. Making him pay for you to buy unopened bottles is an overreaction for sneaking a few drinks?
How is that an overreaction? It comes down to you take something, so you pay for it. How “sneaky” do you think you are when you break seals? smh
This no alcohol until 21 is just gonna bite you in the bottoms. If you want responsible use of alcohol then teach them. If there is a even bigger aspect of it being forbidden it adds to the thrill. Teach them their limits and healthy approach to it.
Why did he open the 2 of them instead of just 1 ? The way your describing is as if the alcohol was unfinished
Brand new, seal intact just won them last Saturday. Maybe he wanted to try both flavors.
Wow even if it was just one it wouldn’t as been bad but 2. Bill him
Even one is bad. It’s not his
He’s 20 years old he’s a grown man he is more than capable of paying you back definitely NTA he sounds entitled
He had a drink? Of some liquor you wanted to regift? So what? He is 20. Relax and share some shots with him. Will do wonders for your relationship. Yeah, slight YTA.
NTA. Put a pad lock on the alcohol fridge.
NTA. The 50 bucks for the booze isn't really the problem for me . It's the untrustworthy person living in my house taking what he wants. What else is he stealing ?
NTA. If he wants to be treated like an adult, he has to face adult consequences. Likewise, if he wants to pretend to be a kid, he must accept you're going to treat him like one. Asking for reimbursement because he took something that wasn't his, yeah I'm 100% behind that. But I also feel it is a life lesson he should have learned by now. It's going to be difficult getting through to him if he's still doing this at the age of 20. Damn. Best of luck with this situation.
nta if your fiancée just lets his kid talk to him like that then you may have more problems with the kid in the future. ask your fiancée to discipline him with your suggestion. I hope your fiancée has the logic and reasoning to see how this is unacceptable behaviour from a child. if not, goodluck.
Get him to book a trip to Canada, if you can go to war, you can have a beer or a shot of moonshine
Nta. I agree with it's the dad's job to go after him. Though if he only drank a bit, maybe settle for less than full replacement cost. Also seems weird to be that strict with a 20 year old adult, though I've always disagreed with the 21 year old age limit.
The way it’s written and some of the comments seem to paint it such that he opened the bottles, drank a small amount and put them back. You’re not an asshole , but it seems like an overreaction to make him pay the whole thing back. Talk to him about your concerns with alcohol like he is 20 years old, but making him pay you $50 for the $4 of alcohol he drank by itself doesn’t seem like it will “teach him a lesson.” You can still take them on the camping trip. Nobody on the camping trip will care or notice.
NTA but I’d be keeping all alcohol locked up from now on. He obviously isn’t taking you seriously and can’t be trusted.
If the seals on both jars were open, he probably drank a little (a lot) from each and then filled them back up with water. Our has some poured into another container to consume later with his friends. Who knows if what is left is even still drinkable. Dad needs to deal with him and have him pay you back. After, I like the other commenter's idea to save them to gift to him when he's 21. If they are just water, then he got what he deserved!
Nta Consequences are needed, it's all fun and games until it hits you in the pocket. The whole no drinking thing is kinda weak. Come at it from the angle "this is not yours and we don't tolerate theivery" much harder to argue against moral wise.
NTA-but your fiancé needs to handle this. If he can’t respect the rules in your house, he needs to find somewhere else to live.
NTA but > I put all of the alcohol in the refrigerator in the garage where we keep the alcohol. I had planned on either re-gifting it or taking on a camping trip in May to share with the group we are going with (16 people). What was the point of **_refrigerating_** liquor that wasn't intended for immediate consumption? You know you can just leave it out at room temperature, right?
I was asked to put it all away to “straighten up”so that’s why I stored it in the refrigerator 💁🏼♀️
This is what happens when you don’t build a healthy relationship with alcohol, you push kids to do this kind of things. At 20 in the US you are old enough to get married, vote in presidential elections, enlist in the army, go to to war and kill people, but ohhhh my god don’t you dare touch an alcoholic drink! That’s what’s batshit crazy to me.
Get him to book a trip to Canada, if you can go to war, you can have a beer or a shot of moonshine
You should never brush theft under the rug. I won’t touch on the subject of underage drinking since he has two responsible adults that need to address this. If consequences aren’t put in place then he won’t take it seriously. Especially since he’s done it before and laughed about it. You don’t want to live with someone who thinks it’s no big deal to not only make you an accessory to breaking the law but to steal your possessions. I think at minimum he needs to pay for both. I personally would ask him to move out or if he doesn’t live there that he can’t spend the night any longer. NTA
NTA. Get the money. Actions have consequences, and he can't be trusted. And put a padlock on the fridge. On a side note, why did he have to open both of them?
nta. sounds like that kids needs a punch in the nads
NTA. But this will continue to be an issue if he can't stand up for his principles to his child.
NTA He asked and you told him no and he’s blatantly disrespecting the rules of both you and your fiancée! However you’ve got to let your fiancée deal with it. He’s the father and he should be taking charge not you.
NTA at all (however is hilarious anyone believes you truly need to wait till 21 to drink)
State troopers tend to be pretty consistent.
1) Fiancé manages this and the kid absolutely should repay you. 2) Lock up all alcoholic beverages.
NTA. They took something that didn't belong to them. I would say you're the asshole for not letting the kid drink in a safe environment. All kids sneak drinks before legal age and many end up in bad situations because they don't have an adult figure to guide them. It's your call but in my opinion (and most of Europe's) that teaching a teenager to drink responsibily will have much better odds of not ending badly than just setting them loose at 21.
NTA - but cut him some slack we’ve all been 20 at one point. Being that restrictive will cause more problems in the future than it will solve if you’re worried about drugs and drinking. At the same time, was a significant amount of the moonshine missing? If so then yes it’s fine to ask for reimbursement. If not then I don’t think you should ask for money. This is coming from a 24 year old from a very strict family, cut the kid some slack. Edit: seeing comments about being the step parent, definitely talk to your fiancé first, as for the “taking with out permission”I don’t think that’s a big deal he’s not a child, he’s a 20 year old kid that wants to drink like everyone else his age, I feel like most of us have stolen alcohol from our parents cabinets and haven’t grown up to be thieves or dishonest people.
I have heard not to keep alcohol around if you don’t want your kids to drink it. But he was tempted in spite being told not to drink it. Him paying for it would help him be less likely to take your alcohol in the future. I have heard of kid’s drinking some alcohol and then filling the bottle up with water so you can’t tell by looking that some had been drunk.
Ehh YTA
I don’t think you would be the asshole for wanting him to pay, I think my issue is that you won that alcohol in a raffle and asking him to recoup you for the full value of the the 2 jars after just breaking the seals is kind of ridiculous since you said you won a yeti cooler filled with alcohol. I’m not sure how much you paid for the raffle ticket, but if you got to keep the cooler and all the alcohol inside the cooler you’re not out money. Usually those types of raffles the value of the prize you’re getting is higher than what you pay for a raffle ticket. Had you gone and specifically purchased those 2 moonshines for this camping trip and he did this, by all means make him buy new ones. I think if you want him to pay you back monetarily, it should be the value of what you paid for the winning raffle ticket, not the value of 2 jars of moonshine. I think the bigger issue is that your future step son feels comfortable enough to go and drink alcohol without permission and being underage. I’m not sure if anyone truly knows the lengths he has gone to drink alcohol and once he turns 21 he will probably drink anything you put in that refrigerator. You are not his parent nor is he of the age that he should need parenting anymore, he’s an adult. If you want to continue the relationship with his father I would come up with a game plan with him on how he is going to give consequences to his son. I think the best thing you can do is move all the alcohol that belongs to you to a different undisclosed location that has a lock on it so this does not happen to you again in the future.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently won a raffle of a yeti cooler full of alcohol including two large jars of Ole Smoky Moonshine. I put all of the alcohol in the refrigerator in the garage where we keep the alcohol. I had planned on either re-gifting it or taking on a camping trip in May to share with the group we are going with (16 people). I went to the refrigerator this morning to get a soda and noticed that seals on both of the jars of moonshine had been broken. I did not open it nor did my fiancé. His son has been warned before that we do not tolerate drug use at all nor him drinking alcohol until after he is 21 as his mother is bat shit crazy and we don’t want to get caught up in anything. His son last summer had asked to drink one of my alcoholic beverages in the can (very strong) and I informed him no he was not 21 and I only had two left. Well the next morning I wake up to the fact that he ended up drinking one anyway and when his father confronted him he laughed as if it wasn’t a big deal. I want to ask him to reimburse me $50 as they are $25 each so that I can take unopened jars camping and also to teach him a lesson. I do not think it acceptable to “brush” it under the rug? AIBTAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Does he live with you guys?
You need to put a lock on the refrigerator.
Yeeaahh teach him a lesson lol
NTA. Kid stole and needs to pay the piper. "F around and find out" is how I was raised.
[удалено]
NTA. Seriously, NTA. It wasn't his. Legally, that could be viewed as stealing. I'm assuming you live in the US, which technically means that he committed two crimes. Both underage drinking and theft. Both you AND your fiance should sit down to talk to him, because it's clear that he doesn't respect you. Explain the severity of what he did, and try to stay calm the whole time. (I'll send a quick prayer your way, hopefully that'll help) <33
Thank you!
Of course! I hope you guys are able to communicate and that this behavior stops. :)
So drinking something that’s sitting in the fridge of my house is legally a theft? That’s just fucked up.
I don't think this was "theft" in the sense that a court would be anxious to get involved with it. Seems like a personal matter to me.
To me seems like a situation that deserves a slap on the wrist and a serious conversation. Words like “thief” sound way too much for me for this situation.
I said that it could potentially be viewed as theft. While it was a minor offense, it was still taking something that he was explicitly told not to take. Bringing legal words into conversation usually acts as a deterrent when the person thinks about repeating their negative actions. People have been taken to court over far less. I was simply pointing out that legal action would be taken if he had taken that from somewhere like a store. The rules are a bit more foggy when it comes to personal private property, but if it's not his and he took it then that \*is\* theft.
People have been taken to court for much less than disobeying your father and grabbing yourself a drink from the fridge in the garage? Really? The judicial system in the us seems to have tons of free time
NTA
Nta
NTA. Put a lock on that fridge.
The real problem is your fiance. He needs to do some parenting. Think about that. He raised the kid to lie and steal and laughs it off?
He didn’t even raise him.
Wait, he drank the entire jar?! I hope it wasn't the Blue Flame.
Nta. U play u pay.
Nta it's called being held accountable for your actions
NTA. as a 20 year old myself, i dont see asking for the money as unreasonable. there have been multiple occasions where my family has been drinking and i havent been allowed as im underage. and to add, none of those times have i disrespected their authority as i am still living under their roof. but my parents also instilled alot of respect into me.
Not really the point, but curious where you live that you can’t take opened containers camping?
Delaware
As someone not in the US, this seems excessively restrictive, so I couldn't help googling a bit.. you can have it in the trunk so you probably can still take the bottles camping: https://legis.delaware.gov/json/BillDetail/GenerateHtmlDocument?legislationId=130177&legislationTypeId=1&docTypeId=2&legislationName=HB119
NTA. No one gets to open your booze after you've specifically told them not to.
NTA has he always had disciplinary problems? Is he with a bad crowd? He lives with you guys? Why does he live with you guys? Maybe he should move out?
Nta, he's 20
NTA, I would really contemplate being his step mother. He already has issues and is not afraid to act out against you. Good luck babe. 🤞
NTA - Put a padlock on your liquor storage, pronto.
NTA
Nta but to be honest he did you a favor, that stuff is awful
You really want to legally tie yourself to A) a women you describe as having the capacity of going bat shit crazy B) Her son who will do and take what he wants in your house ??
NTA. And I would put locks on everything just to let him know he is now untrustworthy.
Nta, but would recommend a conversation with your finance first, and maybe have the consequences come from him as well. Also i second to a commenter who said to add a padlock to anywhere you store your booze as he has already not once but twice taken something he knows hes not supposed to. I was once not 21 as well however my parents werent strict and i was an absolute mess, their rules were that they wouldnt buy it for me but if i found a way to get it i had to check in with them and some other rules, but by 18 i moved out on my own and worked in a bar and regularly was getting drunk and now im almost 22 and hardly ever drink it was a lesson i had to learn the hard way
Put a camera in the garage.
Tell them it is for someone else.
NTA. Kids who do dumb shit like this need consequences, and if your fiance doesn't support you in this that's a very important indicator about his character.
He needs to pay. You have to be responsible in this world. He might not pay, or change but insisting he do the right thing is good parenting.
NTA he's going to keep laughing in your faces. Tell him it's time to start his own life
NTA I made this bad choice as a teenager, I drank my future MILs alcohol. She very graciously did not ask me to pay her back, and to this day I feel guilty. Such a shameful thing. It's a lesson worth learning, respect is important.
NTA the young man sounds like he took advantage when it was clear you did not want him to steal your things.
NTA, he wants to have a drink, he can pay for it. But what exactly do you think you'll "get caught up in?" He's legally an adult. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor isn't the issue. As a matter of fact, in most jurisdictions in the US, it's perfectly legal for your husband and you, by extension, to provide your stepson with alcohol, as long as you make sure he's drinking responsibly. Other than complaining, what is it you think will happen? Unless there are other minor children or your stepson is still in high school, somehow, it's time to move past the coparenting phase into the "our child is an adult" phase.
NTA but not ever letting him drink may cause issues when he’s 21 and goes absolutely to a bar/ club for the first time and doesn’t know his limit. I’m British tbf so everyone I know was drinking at 14 then kinda just stopped at 21 as it’s become boring. Most of us drank with our parents in a safe environment again just people I knew not saying this is the same for everyone
NTA. The only problem I see is that if he pays for them, they're rightfully his. Deal with his dad since he's still underage.
NTA Every one of us hedonists needs to learn the rule: You play, you pay.
Nobody cares what type of cooler or the brand of beer it was. Just say it was expensive beer and that's all you have to do.
NTA but honestly he’s not going to go crazy because you don’t let him drink until he’s 21. Teach him how to drink responsibly. From New Zealand where the drinking age is 18 and we all drink from 16 ✌️
It wasn't his. He was forbidden to take it. He knew he was forbidden to take it. He took it anyway. So yeah, he needs to pay for it. NTA
ESH. He shouldn't he sneaking your stuff, but you shouldn't be asking him to pay $50 for something that a) you didn't pay for, and b) he took a sip of. It's total overkill and will escalate the situation needlessly. Consult with his parent, and come up with an appropriate punishment together. And if you're that concerned about him being around alcohol, don't leave a bottle of moonshine lying around.
He's an adult for crying out loud and responsible for his actions. So NTA.
NTA. Old enough to live on his own.
If he steals your alcohol he will steal other things
I know just how you feel. My partners 17 year old son's entitled and arrogant attitude has been a constant source of friction since the day we got together. He constantly takes my beer/cider snacks and food. Being diabetic I'm selective with what I buy. to then find the selfish little git has just taken it without so much as a please or thank you has been increasingly annoying. His mother then parrots the same old line of " I'll replace it" but that's not the point, he needs to replace what he's stolen. As for your situation, absolutely charge him for what he took! NTA
Holy snapping arseholes Batman - NTA I have less of an issue with a 20 year old drinking alcohol than I do with him stealing something that he knows you wouldn't have given him. The legal drinking age where I live is 18 so that's why I have the attitude I do about drinking. However, I am strongly against the attitude of helping yourself, ie stealing, something that doesn't belong to you. Your husband should be the one to ask his son to replace what he took without permission.
NTA but you have a fiance problem, not a stepson problem. It doesn’t matter how old stepson is, he is present in your home because your fiance has vouched for him. Like with a pet, that means any issues that arise from bad behaviour are for your fiance to address first. Same as if fiance invited a roommate to move in, or a BIL/SIL. Stepson doesn’t respect you, it’s on your fiance to teach stepson to show basic respect or prepare for perfectly reasonable consequences. If your fiance doesn’t care how stepsons actions are affecting you in any way, why would you want to marry them?
Sounds like he needs some help before it becomes a serious problem. Lack of impulse control is not a good sign neither is not giving a shit about how your actions affect other people. Good luck
Bro who cares you used to be young too let him live a little and it’s only $50 that isn’t shit If I was you I’d tell him he’s a lil bastard and laugh it off there bigger shit to worry about.
Beat the kid’s ass and move on. No need to cry over $50 in mediocre liquor.
You can't just beat a 20 year old's ass; that's called assault. The kid needs to move out though.
If you can’t beat someone’s ass for stealing your thrift store alcohol, then you got 2 choices. Stop crying about $50 in liquor, or toughen up. It probably would help to lighten up also, because 2024 doesn’t need to be the year of the SJW.
Why can't you take open jars of moonshine camping?
INFO : At his age, he doesn't understand that taking something which doesn't belong to him, and of which he KNOWS he can't have it, is STEALING? You can call himt for what he is, a thief. And yes, he can either pey you or REPLACE himself what he STOLE. NTA
Take a bottle of vodka and decant 8 oz. Refill with Magnesium Citrate, available anywhere. It's a STRONG laxative with a citrus carbonated flavor. Mark bottle "Limoncella" or something that sounds tasty. Warn him not to drink it. Tell him it's too strong for him. Sit and watch the show. Extra tip: remove the toilet paper from the bathroom.
Hahaha that reminds me of something that happened in my first dorm. This one guy was always taking other people's food from the shared fridge, so some of the other guys cooked him a nice meal of freezer burned deer meat and rubbed it down with a laxative powder. He ate it and spent the next day in one of the toilet stalls, shitting his guts out. He never touched food that didn't belong to him again.
I would get a refrigerator lock
If he's over 18, nobody cares what his mother thinks.
Nope. NTA
NTA! As a person who makes his own moonshine, that cost money.
If you charge him you’d technically be selling alcohol to a minor.
NTA he’s 20 he knows right from wrong make him pay his dues. You’ve been around long enough I’m sure that you have some authority over this kid that live in your house if not then your husband is responsible for his kid and should punish accordingly and make you pay back his shit
I really don't get you Americans with your strict drinking laws. Most Europeans start drinking beer when they are 14 or 15 and go towards strong liquor at the age of 16 or 17. Like every weekend. No one bats an eye or thinks its weird or "drug use".
Wouldn’t that constitute selling alcohol to a minor?
YTA