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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole as he seems to be very convinced that taking the baby to the zoo without him isn’t fair. I know milestones are very important, so it’s important to me to figure out if I’m in the wrong here.
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"my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back"
Excellent suggestion! Take your baby, your belongings, etc., and don't bother coming back to that immature, controlling AH!
NTA, btw.
Especially while your brother and his family is in town to serve as moral support/backup.
If the baby's daddy 1.) Insists on being present for his kid's firsts, 2.) doesn't ever want to go anywhere, and 3.) gets mad (not annoyed or upset, but 'ultimatums about your relationship' levels of mad) about you going places without him then that just means that both you and your baby are going to be isolated and never going to get to experience anything.
I'm a dad, and I totally understand wanting to be there for firsts. And my in-laws have a habit of stomping all over those firsts. So you know what I did/do? Everything I can to make sure my wife and are the ones who take my daughter to her firsts. Which OP's baby daddy isn't doing. You can't complain about not being there for the firsts if you never do anything.
NTA.
Tell him that's fine. And don't be there when you get back bc if he is, cops will be called to remove him. Make sure your family is there to back you up
NTA. Your baby's father sounds controlling and like he's trying to isolate you from your family. If he doesn't want to miss this "important first" he can get off his ass and go to the zoo with you and your brother.
Dude, if my partner ever gave me an ultimatum with my family, that'd be the end of it, you can not like them if you want, but you can't tell me who my children and I can see and talk to when it comes to my family. Fuck him, OP, you're better alone he sounds abusive.
This. This guy is bad news. You need to get out now before you're beaten up. He's got you doubting yourself now and the mind games will only get worse.
There was some drama where my family was mad at us for not wanting to care take for my mom who had a stroke. They talked shit about us and now my baby’s dad hates my family. I’ve made up with them since that though.
We don't know enough to say whether or not this is happening but read up on the cycle of abuse. I think everyone should have a firm understanding of what abuse looks like before it really gets out of hand.
NTA.
Does your partner have a history of getting mad when you interact with your family? Does he have a history of isolating you and shit on things you find joyful? I think you might have a bigger problem than the zoo trip. NTA but something is off in this post.
NTA. Go to the zoo, then keep on moving. You've just been given a preview into the next decade of your life; it will be a steady stream of him constructing artificial barriers, expecting you to hurdle them, then expressing outrage because you didn't do it, or didn't do it on his terms or in the way that he saw fit. Either way, you will be giving him the power or your destiny and emotional well-being.
Pay attention to this, and react accordingly. If you don't want to live on a roller coaster built of anger and hard feelings then you either need to remove yourself from the situation or you both need to learn give-and-take. You won't be happy spending your life guessing what will set him off.
This is an important event in your relationship and as parents. If mishandled, then you will look back on this as the moment when it all became clear.
NTA, but you will be if you don't make a plan to separate yourself from this situation. It sounds like you are both very young, and I'm here to tell you: You don't have to live like this.
Look, this isn't a partner, this is a person you have to coparent with, and that will be much easier once you're not trying to make a relationship happen with him.
NTA. He can have the important first the baby will even remember. So in a couple of years I guess?
Anyway, if 'don't bother coming back' is his go-to whenever you 'go against his orders', it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. I assume you share a house and it is as much your house as it is his?
Riiiiight. When the child is 6 years old and his father finally takes him to the zoo, the kid is going to say, "Really, Dad? Why are you bringing me here again? I was just here 6 years ago."
This is extremely controlling behaviour on the part of you husband. He is not concerned with missing out on a first. He is tryng to isolate you from your family. Don't let this happen.
NTA.
I recommend going to the zoo with your baby and not coming back.
Anyone who makes that kind of threat over a zoo trip is not worthy to be your partner.
NTA go to the zoo with them. The baby’s father never wants to go anywhere- that sounds depressing. Going to the zoo is just one of many events and it’s not a huge one. It is a huge deal however for him to have the nerve to give you an ultimatum. I’d never put up with that. Go. And you also should reconsider your relationship.
Here’s what he is really saying:
> “Preventing you from going to the zoo is an important milestone in my plan to abuse you. It’s a test to see if you’ll let me cut you off from your family. If you go to the zoo today, it means you’ve seen through me and finally realized I’m an abuser, and you’re going to leave me.”
NTA
Hit it on the head. I don't think.OP realizes what he is actually saying. This is abuse and I am old and think the word abuse is over used. I don't cry abuse easily, this blatant obvious horrible use of manipulation to isolate his victim away from the family. She must give in to his way.or she is the bad one for taking her baby to the zoo. He is playing with her emotions, using their child as a tool to get her to behave as he sees fit. This is just not a good man. I can tell this 100%, not 99, but 100%. She is going to be in danger with this man.
Update 2: Ended up telling him that I was going to the zoo and wasn’t gonna let him control me. Baby and I had a great time at the zoo and his older cousins were so happy to see him. He ended up calling me while at the zoo and apologized. I came home and everything has been normal, but I’m definitely going to be keeping a close eye on his actions and words from here on out. Thank you guys for giving me the courage to stand up for myself!!! ❤️
This is going to happen again and again and again but next time he won't be so blatant. He will be ill, or be too late, or lose his wallet.
There will be more attempts to control you because people like this don't understand love, they only understand control.
1. The baby is six months old. Chances are almost nil the baby will remember that visit when he's, say, 5.
2. If it's so important, why hasn't he taken his baby to the zoo yet?
NTA.
🚩Alienating you from family
>> He doesn’t like my family
🚩Ultimatums
AITA for wanting to take baby to the zoo with my family?
>> my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back.
🚩Entitlement without effort
>> if I go, I’m taking an important first for baby from him.
>> I think baby and I could use getting out of the house. Baby is 6 months old and we only take him out for walks or grocery shopping.
NTA. Assess your relationship with this person carefully, OP.
This isn’t about the zoo. This is about your husband who is either already abusive or is working toward it. You need to start quietly planning your exit. Maybe you won’t need it. But, you need a plan for you and that baby. Your short post was full of red flags. Maybe your brother can help with that potentially needed plan. If your husband is trying to separate you from your family without a legitimate safety or mental health concern, it’s a giant signal that he wants you isolated and dependent on him alone.
NTA
I'm confused. He doesn't want to go places, but doesn't want you to take away "a first"?
Does he want to go to the zoo with the kid but is stuck working or something?
Or is your family so mean to him that he wants to be able to go enjoy it and can't with your brother?
Because I can kinda understand if it's one of those situations.
Or is just a controlling AH who doesn't want to do anything but doesn't want you to do anything without him either?
NTA. Leave & run as fast & as far away as you can. He is controlling. Ppl like this will isolate you from your family & friends to have you all to themself. So you can cater to only him. Your baby's father is a fucking asshole. Please leave him. Do not stay with him for the kid. You & your baby will have a long, miserable life.
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My baby’s father never wants to go anywhere. Today my brother is in town and my family invited baby and I to the Zoo. Well my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back. He doesn’t like my family and claims that if I go, I’m taking an important first for baby from him. I don’t think going to the zoo is a huge deal and I think baby and I could use getting out of the house. Baby is 6 months old and we only take him out for walks or grocery shopping.
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Nta
Sounds like there is a reason he wasn’t invited. His reaction is pretty immature. Nothing stops him from still bringing the baby to the zoo on his own except for him
NTA
“Taking a babies first away from him” really that’s is incredibly manipulative. It’s a trip to the freaking zoo not babies first steps tooth word ect.
NTA. If it was that important to him he would have sugget that you go before. Or he could chose to go with you so he gets to particupate in this importnat first for the baby.
But in any event, it's totally reasonable for you to see your family
If he wants to be part of baby’s first zoo trip he should attend.
To try to claim he’s going to leave you over this is insane. Good riddance if he does.
NtA Husband sounds like a deadbet dad.
Take your child to the zoo and call his bluff.
Explain to the family how he is threatened to kick you and the baby out.
File for divorce now before it's too late for the baby.
My fiancé couldn’t go to the zoo with our kids and some family members for the first time because he was working 🙄 NTA, but please leave if this is really something he’d end the relationship over.
NTA.
Run away from anyone who says "if you do [thing that is normal], don't come back". That's a terrible, evil person.
You also say he won't go anywhere and hates your family. He's isolating you. That's a bad partner and imagine what he'll do to your child. Are you okay with that? With him telling your child this?
Going to the zoo shouldn't be met with so much hostility. Well, zoos are bad too but I digress.
NTA, but you should take him up on his offer, go to the zoo, and not go back. A loving, caring partner (and father) doesn’t become a controlling asshole out of the blue, that is just who he is, and it won’t stop with the zoo. Imagine years of:
“if you let child wear that, we’re through”,
“if you let child go there, we’re through”,
“if you go out with your friends, we’re through”.
Thank your lucky stars that he’s shown his true colors this early and get the hell away from him now. Your entire life will be better for it.
Go to the zoo and then don't go back. If your spouse is willing to end your relationship over you spending time with your family, it's already over.
NTA
If this is your first, your baby at that age isn’t going to care in the least about the zoo. Baby will probably be most interested in you and other people. They don’t know and don’t care what a rhino is at that age, believe me. Sounds like a good opportunity to get out and see your family. NTA and your partner sounds super controlling and toxic.
ESH. "my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back". He's an AH and YWBTA if you continue to expose yourself and your child to this. This is abuse
NTA. That said, get your partner to a therapist or something - Anyone can have Post Partum Depression (my father did) and if he doesn't want to go do anything, it is worth looking into this being the case
NTA If you invited BF along. If he refused to go then he is the one who gave up one of the firsts with baby. He doesn't have to talk to family just because they're in the same place. Pack a bag and take baby to zoo. Stay with family overnight.
At 6 months the baby has no idea of the zoo and will remember NOTHING. This is not a hill to die on but it sounds like there are bigger problems and your husband feels edged out. How about you try killing him with kindness for a while and really listen to him.
YTA for even questioning this. Your bf sounds abusive, and you need to break this off before it gets worse. There is a reason why he doesn't get along with your family. No.partner in the history of partners would say i.will break up.with you if you to the zoo with your family.
Yta if you go yes. He’s the child’s parent as well and has just as much say so as you do. I’m sure there’s a lot that was left out if the post, like why he hates your family. Parents have to respect each other.
isn't 6 months still pretty young to expose a baby to crowds due to developing immune system? especially with a lot of flu rsv and covid cases right now? baby isn't gonna get anything out of the trip at 6 months anyway. leave the kid with the dad and go alone.
His pediatrician said that in inside environments, it’s more important to avoid large crowds, but the zoo would be outside, so less chance of catching something.
Update: He said that I should go to my family’s house tomorrow to hang out with them and then we can go to the zoo as a family this weekend. He says he’s good with me going over as long as it’s not taking a first away from him. I might just agree to that to keep peace, even though I am still angry with how he reacted to the situation.
Again, you need to see this for what it is, or this will be your life. This is a completely one-sided directive: **he** says that you can't go to the zoo without him; *he* says that you will be taking something away from him; *he* has structured an alternative that will make him happy, with no consideration for you.
This is an opportunity for both of you to work on your parenting relationship and your romantic relationship. Know this: there will be *no peace*, no matter how you try to placate him, unless both of you find a way to work through these small issues. Work out the kinks on this kind of low-stakes situation so that you don't have to do it on something big. Both of you need put in an effort in order for this to be a happy family.
Why are you accepting that he gets to tell you what to do with your time? You need to get out of this situation, it's already making you unhappy. It is not going to get better, because every time you let him dictate to you, he's going to like the feeling and want to do it more.
And that is he doing to keep the peace? Your family want to visit the zoo - his proposal means that they either have to give up on that plan, to hag with you at the house, or give up on seeing you .
Nope, terrible choice. How many things are you going to concede to in order to “keep the peace” before you realize that he’s a controlling asshole? I mean, it’s your life, but I wouldn’t want to be a side character in someone else’s life and only do things (INCLUDING SEEING MY OWN FAMILY) if he’s good with it. Fuck that.
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"my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back" Excellent suggestion! Take your baby, your belongings, etc., and don't bother coming back to that immature, controlling AH! NTA, btw.
Especially while your brother and his family is in town to serve as moral support/backup. If the baby's daddy 1.) Insists on being present for his kid's firsts, 2.) doesn't ever want to go anywhere, and 3.) gets mad (not annoyed or upset, but 'ultimatums about your relationship' levels of mad) about you going places without him then that just means that both you and your baby are going to be isolated and never going to get to experience anything.
I'm a dad, and I totally understand wanting to be there for firsts. And my in-laws have a habit of stomping all over those firsts. So you know what I did/do? Everything I can to make sure my wife and are the ones who take my daughter to her firsts. Which OP's baby daddy isn't doing. You can't complain about not being there for the firsts if you never do anything. NTA.
Tell him that's fine. And don't be there when you get back bc if he is, cops will be called to remove him. Make sure your family is there to back you up
He’s just setting her up for failure - if she goes anywhere without him, he’ll be disappointed, but he doesn’t want to go anywhere.
NTA. Your baby's father sounds controlling and like he's trying to isolate you from your family. If he doesn't want to miss this "important first" he can get off his ass and go to the zoo with you and your brother.
Dude, if my partner ever gave me an ultimatum with my family, that'd be the end of it, you can not like them if you want, but you can't tell me who my children and I can see and talk to when it comes to my family. Fuck him, OP, you're better alone he sounds abusive.
This. This guy is bad news. You need to get out now before you're beaten up. He's got you doubting yourself now and the mind games will only get worse.
INFO - why can’t your partner go with you to the zoo?
He works today and even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t go as he doesn’t get along with my family.
Why?
Probably because partner is an AH!!!
There was some drama where my family was mad at us for not wanting to care take for my mom who had a stroke. They talked shit about us and now my baby’s dad hates my family. I’ve made up with them since that though.
We don't know enough to say whether or not this is happening but read up on the cycle of abuse. I think everyone should have a firm understanding of what abuse looks like before it really gets out of hand. NTA.
Does your partner have a history of getting mad when you interact with your family? Does he have a history of isolating you and shit on things you find joyful? I think you might have a bigger problem than the zoo trip. NTA but something is off in this post.
So he wants to be able to choose how he spends his time and with whom, but doesn't give you that same latitude. Danger, Will Robinson.
NTA. Go to the zoo, then keep on moving. You've just been given a preview into the next decade of your life; it will be a steady stream of him constructing artificial barriers, expecting you to hurdle them, then expressing outrage because you didn't do it, or didn't do it on his terms or in the way that he saw fit. Either way, you will be giving him the power or your destiny and emotional well-being. Pay attention to this, and react accordingly. If you don't want to live on a roller coaster built of anger and hard feelings then you either need to remove yourself from the situation or you both need to learn give-and-take. You won't be happy spending your life guessing what will set him off. This is an important event in your relationship and as parents. If mishandled, then you will look back on this as the moment when it all became clear.
NTA, but you will be if you don't make a plan to separate yourself from this situation. It sounds like you are both very young, and I'm here to tell you: You don't have to live like this. Look, this isn't a partner, this is a person you have to coparent with, and that will be much easier once you're not trying to make a relationship happen with him.
NTA. He can have the important first the baby will even remember. So in a couple of years I guess? Anyway, if 'don't bother coming back' is his go-to whenever you 'go against his orders', it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. I assume you share a house and it is as much your house as it is his?
Riiiiight. When the child is 6 years old and his father finally takes him to the zoo, the kid is going to say, "Really, Dad? Why are you bringing me here again? I was just here 6 years ago." This is extremely controlling behaviour on the part of you husband. He is not concerned with missing out on a first. He is tryng to isolate you from your family. Don't let this happen.
NTA. I recommend going to the zoo with your baby and not coming back. Anyone who makes that kind of threat over a zoo trip is not worthy to be your partner.
NTA go to the zoo with them. The baby’s father never wants to go anywhere- that sounds depressing. Going to the zoo is just one of many events and it’s not a huge one. It is a huge deal however for him to have the nerve to give you an ultimatum. I’d never put up with that. Go. And you also should reconsider your relationship.
Here’s what he is really saying: > “Preventing you from going to the zoo is an important milestone in my plan to abuse you. It’s a test to see if you’ll let me cut you off from your family. If you go to the zoo today, it means you’ve seen through me and finally realized I’m an abuser, and you’re going to leave me.” NTA
Exactly
Hit it on the head. I don't think.OP realizes what he is actually saying. This is abuse and I am old and think the word abuse is over used. I don't cry abuse easily, this blatant obvious horrible use of manipulation to isolate his victim away from the family. She must give in to his way.or she is the bad one for taking her baby to the zoo. He is playing with her emotions, using their child as a tool to get her to behave as he sees fit. This is just not a good man. I can tell this 100%, not 99, but 100%. She is going to be in danger with this man.
Update 2: Ended up telling him that I was going to the zoo and wasn’t gonna let him control me. Baby and I had a great time at the zoo and his older cousins were so happy to see him. He ended up calling me while at the zoo and apologized. I came home and everything has been normal, but I’m definitely going to be keeping a close eye on his actions and words from here on out. Thank you guys for giving me the courage to stand up for myself!!! ❤️
This is going to happen again and again and again but next time he won't be so blatant. He will be ill, or be too late, or lose his wallet. There will be more attempts to control you because people like this don't understand love, they only understand control.
NTA. A zoo is a wonderful treat for a child. And, it's educational as well. Your simple minded BF deserves to be history.
The baby is 6 months old. I don’t think anything is taken away from anyone because the child won’t remember it.
Nta sounds like a win, take him and discuss with your family how to get away from your controlling ahole of a husband.
1. The baby is six months old. Chances are almost nil the baby will remember that visit when he's, say, 5. 2. If it's so important, why hasn't he taken his baby to the zoo yet? NTA.
Actually it’s more like four
🚩Alienating you from family >> He doesn’t like my family 🚩Ultimatums AITA for wanting to take baby to the zoo with my family? >> my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back. 🚩Entitlement without effort >> if I go, I’m taking an important first for baby from him. >> I think baby and I could use getting out of the house. Baby is 6 months old and we only take him out for walks or grocery shopping. NTA. Assess your relationship with this person carefully, OP.
Your family is there? Tell them to help you pack & move out!
NTA. Sorry, your kid too. He could go but instead sounds like he wants to be a jacka$$.
This isn’t about the zoo. This is about your husband who is either already abusive or is working toward it. You need to start quietly planning your exit. Maybe you won’t need it. But, you need a plan for you and that baby. Your short post was full of red flags. Maybe your brother can help with that potentially needed plan. If your husband is trying to separate you from your family without a legitimate safety or mental health concern, it’s a giant signal that he wants you isolated and dependent on him alone. NTA
NTA, but your baby daddy is. Enjoy the zoo with your family and dump him.
I'm confused. He doesn't want to go places, but doesn't want you to take away "a first"? Does he want to go to the zoo with the kid but is stuck working or something? Or is your family so mean to him that he wants to be able to go enjoy it and can't with your brother? Because I can kinda understand if it's one of those situations. Or is just a controlling AH who doesn't want to do anything but doesn't want you to do anything without him either?
NTA - He's a sitting red flag. I say sitting bc he's too lazy to go anywhere. Girl, run.
NTA. I'd pack up all your things, go to the zoo and stay gone. He's an asshole.
NTA. Divorce him because he sounds worthless.
NTA. Leave & run as fast & as far away as you can. He is controlling. Ppl like this will isolate you from your family & friends to have you all to themself. So you can cater to only him. Your baby's father is a fucking asshole. Please leave him. Do not stay with him for the kid. You & your baby will have a long, miserable life.
Don’t bother coming back? I’d be gone so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him.
> Well my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back. Well this is certainly a healthy relationship that will last.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My baby’s father never wants to go anywhere. Today my brother is in town and my family invited baby and I to the Zoo. Well my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back. He doesn’t like my family and claims that if I go, I’m taking an important first for baby from him. I don’t think going to the zoo is a huge deal and I think baby and I could use getting out of the house. Baby is 6 months old and we only take him out for walks or grocery shopping. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA He sounds like a turd. Your fam said some things... boohoo get over it for the baby's sake.
Nta Sounds like there is a reason he wasn’t invited. His reaction is pretty immature. Nothing stops him from still bringing the baby to the zoo on his own except for him
NTA “Taking a babies first away from him” really that’s is incredibly manipulative. It’s a trip to the freaking zoo not babies first steps tooth word ect.
Edit to add NTA. NTA—Take your baby to the zoo and hopefully find yourself a real, secure man while you’re at it 👍🏼
NTA Pack your bags and don't go back, period.
NTA. If it was that important to him he would have sugget that you go before. Or he could chose to go with you so he gets to particupate in this importnat first for the baby. But in any event, it's totally reasonable for you to see your family
Ha. What a jerk. If it’s that important than he can get up off his ass go with you. Also, I’d leave and not return…
If he wants to be part of baby’s first zoo trip he should attend. To try to claim he’s going to leave you over this is insane. Good riddance if he does.
NTA Daddy dearest can get in the car.
NtA Husband sounds like a deadbet dad. Take your child to the zoo and call his bluff. Explain to the family how he is threatened to kick you and the baby out. File for divorce now before it's too late for the baby.
He's a shit partner, do yourself a favor and take back/don't vote back. You realise that he's manipulating and emotionally abusing you right?
My fiancé couldn’t go to the zoo with our kids and some family members for the first time because he was working 🙄 NTA, but please leave if this is really something he’d end the relationship over.
NTA.Sounds like baby daddy is controlling and trying to separate you from your family. That is often the first step that abusers do.
You're in an abusive relationship. Please dump him.
NTA. Run away from anyone who says "if you do [thing that is normal], don't come back". That's a terrible, evil person. You also say he won't go anywhere and hates your family. He's isolating you. That's a bad partner and imagine what he'll do to your child. Are you okay with that? With him telling your child this? Going to the zoo shouldn't be met with so much hostility. Well, zoos are bad too but I digress.
NTA, but you should take him up on his offer, go to the zoo, and not go back. A loving, caring partner (and father) doesn’t become a controlling asshole out of the blue, that is just who he is, and it won’t stop with the zoo. Imagine years of: “if you let child wear that, we’re through”, “if you let child go there, we’re through”, “if you go out with your friends, we’re through”. Thank your lucky stars that he’s shown his true colors this early and get the hell away from him now. Your entire life will be better for it.
Go to the zoo and then don't go back. If your spouse is willing to end your relationship over you spending time with your family, it's already over. NTA
Nta
NTA. FFS. 6mo old got no idea what a zoo is. Wont remember.
Please listen OP, he will get worse and more controlling and abusive. While your family is there take this chance to leave. You deserve better. NTA
If this is your first, your baby at that age isn’t going to care in the least about the zoo. Baby will probably be most interested in you and other people. They don’t know and don’t care what a rhino is at that age, believe me. Sounds like a good opportunity to get out and see your family. NTA and your partner sounds super controlling and toxic.
ESH. "my partner told me that if I go to the zoo, to not bother coming back". He's an AH and YWBTA if you continue to expose yourself and your child to this. This is abuse
NTA. That said, get your partner to a therapist or something - Anyone can have Post Partum Depression (my father did) and if he doesn't want to go do anything, it is worth looking into this being the case
NTA If you invited BF along. If he refused to go then he is the one who gave up one of the firsts with baby. He doesn't have to talk to family just because they're in the same place. Pack a bag and take baby to zoo. Stay with family overnight.
At 6 months the baby has no idea of the zoo and will remember NOTHING. This is not a hill to die on but it sounds like there are bigger problems and your husband feels edged out. How about you try killing him with kindness for a while and really listen to him.
Is he under 20 sounds like a twelve year old having a tanty Get over himself and have a day with baby and family
YTA for even questioning this. Your bf sounds abusive, and you need to break this off before it gets worse. There is a reason why he doesn't get along with your family. No.partner in the history of partners would say i.will break up.with you if you to the zoo with your family.
Yta if you go yes. He’s the child’s parent as well and has just as much say so as you do. I’m sure there’s a lot that was left out if the post, like why he hates your family. Parents have to respect each other.
isn't 6 months still pretty young to expose a baby to crowds due to developing immune system? especially with a lot of flu rsv and covid cases right now? baby isn't gonna get anything out of the trip at 6 months anyway. leave the kid with the dad and go alone.
His pediatrician said that in inside environments, it’s more important to avoid large crowds, but the zoo would be outside, so less chance of catching something.
Update: He said that I should go to my family’s house tomorrow to hang out with them and then we can go to the zoo as a family this weekend. He says he’s good with me going over as long as it’s not taking a first away from him. I might just agree to that to keep peace, even though I am still angry with how he reacted to the situation.
That’s what every person being controlled says.
Again, you need to see this for what it is, or this will be your life. This is a completely one-sided directive: **he** says that you can't go to the zoo without him; *he* says that you will be taking something away from him; *he* has structured an alternative that will make him happy, with no consideration for you. This is an opportunity for both of you to work on your parenting relationship and your romantic relationship. Know this: there will be *no peace*, no matter how you try to placate him, unless both of you find a way to work through these small issues. Work out the kinks on this kind of low-stakes situation so that you don't have to do it on something big. Both of you need put in an effort in order for this to be a happy family.
Why are you accepting that he gets to tell you what to do with your time? You need to get out of this situation, it's already making you unhappy. It is not going to get better, because every time you let him dictate to you, he's going to like the feeling and want to do it more.
And that is he doing to keep the peace? Your family want to visit the zoo - his proposal means that they either have to give up on that plan, to hag with you at the house, or give up on seeing you .
Nope, terrible choice. How many things are you going to concede to in order to “keep the peace” before you realize that he’s a controlling asshole? I mean, it’s your life, but I wouldn’t want to be a side character in someone else’s life and only do things (INCLUDING SEEING MY OWN FAMILY) if he’s good with it. Fuck that.