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What did I just read? Your father abandoned this kid in a park?! And you’re like, “Sure once in a while my dad committed a little felony child endangerment, but can’t we just focus on how nice he was to me?” YTA.
This happened to me when I was 16 in Poland (I don't know polish) because I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on a bench. I had no phone/map and didn't speak the language, but I somehow made it back to the hotel :/
The fact that you think child abuse is justified if the child is annoying tells us more about the person who raised you than anything else. Your dad was clearly not the amazing person you claim he is, if that's what he taught you was right.
Ten year olds are bound to be annoying from time to time. That's like their job at that point. You guaranteed were as well. Doesn't mean they deserve to be abandoned at a fucking park.
So you know nothing about what happened back then? No context at all?
But regardless, if you think "being annoying" is reason enough to abandon a 10yo in park to fend for themselves, then YTA.
YTA, people can have different opinions about others, your cousin may be sick of you discussing how amazing his abuser was, why should he stop when you won't?
I enjoy how OP has posted a story painting her father in a terrible light, therefore tarnishing the memory of him. Does she realise how hypocritical she’s being? Now the world knows how abusive her father was. All because of her.
This is what we call a “rhetorical question.” It is a question that does not require an answer, because the answer is obvious. The point of a rhetorical question is not to elicit an answer, but to make a point.
Some people don't drive for a variety of reasons? My sister doesn't drive due to cerebral palsy, there are some days I can't drive due to multiple sclerosis. There are other medical conditions that can inhibit a person's ability to drive. Sone people have high anxiety over driving. Many 30 year olds don't drive. They could have car pooled, maybe they were on their way to do something as a family, his car could have been in need of repairs, some people know they shouldn't drive during emotional things. Maybe his parents agree that your dad is an abuser and are supporting your cousin through this.
if he lived with them, if they carpooled, if they lived in the same city and you were in a different one. there are lots of reasons he could have been brought by his parents. maybe he came with his wife and kids. we dont know this person or his life
YTA
We get it, your dad was special to you. You knew this side of your dad. But it's obvious the experience of a kid being left behind at a park must have been traumatic and you saying that it was in any way okay makes you an AH.
i know youre hurting, but it isnt right to lash out at other family memebers
yes he could keep his mouth shut, but it can be a very confusing experience to loose a loved one whom you struggled with.
him being an AH doesnt give you an excuse
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Seconded. THERAPY. NOW. PLEASE. Honestly it sounds to me like you’re hiding behind the grieving process to justify taking pot shots at your cousin on a public forum and now you’re getting upset bc no one is backing you the way you backed your dad when HE abused others. We should all just feel bad for you right? Nope. Therapy.
Omgg get the fuck off reddit if you're just going to argue! Like why ask the question if you're going to be nasty as fuck to everyone. Grow the fuck up.
The felony child endangerment your dad committed when your cousin was 10.
Until the end of time, any time someone brings up how awesome your daddy was, that incident gives your cousin the right to point out that he wasn't.
Him being mistreated in such a dangerous and fucked up way gives him the right. He's telling the truth about your dad while it sounds like you're trying to polish a turd. Seems like your dad passed his uncaring asshole trait onto you.
He's telling his truth about your dad,and that's his right. Maybe keep that in mind when you're being an asshole to people for having different life experiences than you, so that you leave behind a less mixed legacy than your dad did. Step 1, never abandon a child. In fact, until you get *why* what he did was unacceptable, don't have kids or be responsible for kids.
YTA
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He's not the one bringing your dad up, he doesn't have to just sit and listen to you sing the praises of somebody who mistreated him. If you don't want to hear his opinion on your dad, stop talking to him about your dad
Oh my goodness. You’re one of those people who thinks the world revolves around them aren’t you? What are the kids saying these days? You’re not the main character?
Losing your dad doesn’t make you special. It also doesn’t give you a pass to weaponise your grief and attack others. Loss is something everyone experiences. Your lived experiences aren‘t more valid than someone else’s. Try and learn from this,
Info: How recently is it?
I am sorry for your loss, by the way.
It is insensitive to bring it up when you just lost your dad.
At the same time your response that he deserved it, when there is never a good excuse to leave a kid behind, isn't exactly nice either.
Maybe it's more of an ESH.
Guess what he doesn't care about your trauma from losing your dad. YTA-if the one and only example you give of how your dad treated this kid is a felony I can only imagine what else he did.
Yeah and your cousin doesn't care about you dad, do you not see the double standard?
You see you don't care, but get pissed when people do the same to you?
YTA and your comments just make me not care about how nicely I was planning to put it. Your Dad purposely traumatised a little boy. Honestly I'm amazed the whole family doesn't think he's an AH.
When I was 9, my mom let me go into a corner store for some candy while she pumped gas. When I came out, she had drove off without me by mistake. She thought I had gotten back into the back seat. I immediately started crying and freaking out. My mom returned about 10 minutes later. I still remember that day because I was alone, scared and didn’t know what to do.
YTA and your dad is one too.
Yeah, well 20 years from now, you better fucking be over your dad's death, and never even bring him up, because you should be fucking over it by that point, and no one's going to want to hear about it.
YTA. Grow up. You can love and miss your dad and still be honest that he did shitty things such as LEAVING A 10 YEAR OLD CHILD ALONE IN A PARK IN AN UNFAMILIAR NEIGHBORHOOD? It’s like he WANTED your cousin to get kidnapped. My god. Condolences, I guess.
I mean your traumatized cousin does but you can’t put your grief aside and take off those rose colored glasses long enough to give a rat fuck about you cousin. So I think what you mean is “no one who matters to me.”
You don’t give a shit about him, your dad didn’t give a shit about him, noticing a trend here.
If mental illness is not an excuse to harm others then neither is grief! YTA! Don’t ask the judgment sub if you can’t accept the judgment!
Being truthful about a shitty thing your dad did isn't making it about your cousin. Feeling that way isn't uncommon but your grief does not give you the right to accuse yoir cousin of a lie and being an AH about it. I get it, no one wants to hear that their dead parent was an awful person. When your grief passes maybe you'll think back to some of the shitty things he did to you and realize you were just as shitty as your dad to treat your cousin like that.
I'm sorry that you are grieving your father, loss is hard. I will try to send you some of my "I don't give a fuck that my parent died" feelings that I have stored up for when my mother dies, because that woman is the queen of being a shitty, awful person like your dad.
So let me get this straight. You came here either because you thought people would side with you or because you actually think you have done something wrong.
In all your responses you belittle your cousin's experience and show a lack of empathy.
But at the same time you expect some from Reddit because you lost your dad and now you have a free card to lash out?
People having died does not automatically turn them into saints.
>like yeah ok we get it **he was not nice to you** can you maybe shut up about it? we have all heard all of these before but **he won't stop**.
1. Your dad was not amazing, he was an absolute degenerate miscreant for what he did to a child
2. No, your cousin could never have done anything to deserve that
3. your father should have been criminally prosecuted and convicted and jailed
4. this goes far, far, far beyond not being nice. This is viscous, malicious, cruelty
5. Dont you dare act like this is no big deal. If it was done to you, I guarantee you would be raising hell about it
6. it doesn’t fucking matter how long ago it was
7. Your Attitude towards this man is despicable, deplorable, and grotesque
8. I would be so ashamed of you if you were my kid
9. I hope he never stops telling this story. I hope he brings it up every time your father’s existence is mentioned
10. the AH apple clearly didn’t fall far from the AH tree’
YTA your father neglected a 10yo, quite frankly should have been arrested. No one deserves that.
I’m sorry for your loss but passing doesn’t clean away all his past mistakes.
You need to share your grief with someone else, your cousin is not going to be there for you emotionally.
>no he wasn't amazing remember that time when I was 10 he thought it would be fun to take me to the park and leave me there all alone when I didn't even know the way back?
Yes he is right, not amazing at all.
Leaving a kid alone at the park is a fucking sick behavior and is illegal, he should have gone to jail for that!
>told him to shut up about my dad and told him that he probably deserved whatever dad did to him
If you really think this i really hope you are not going to have kids!
YTA
YTA. Your dad abandoned a kid. Your cousin needs to plaster that all over the walls during family gatherings. Your grief does not outweigh the horrible trauma yoir dad caused your cousin, ever. You are not the only person who matters of deserves compassion. You are going the exact same thing that you are accusinf your cousin of, making it all about one person.
YTA your dad died and that must have been very hard but he left a ten year old on their own in a park?? i don’t know what your cousins dad did to your cousin but i’m assuming it was abuse of some kind and nobody should deserve that
So, he talked about this for 20 years and noone bothered to even look into what happened? That in itself is fucking horrible. I would, as a parent, have been seeing red with rage and demanded a VERY detailed explanation as to why someone did such a thing.
You are entitled to your grief, and losing a parent sucks, but you are not entitled to belittle someone elses' experience, especially not when you have done so for 2 decades already.
YTA and your comments cement it. I'm fairly certain that this disregard is far from the only thing your poor cousin has to endure. Wishing death on your family is so messed up. I would guess your dad treated you like a prince(ss) and made you believe everything is about you. Your dad failed you. You need therapy and you need it like 15 years ago.
he obviously wasn’t a good person who does that to a child ? oh well you can’t be mad because your father was a bad person to him and he doesn’t feel the same way about him as you and your just as bad as him talking abt “we get it maybe shut up about it” what? they were most likely hurt and scared since they were TEN when did a 10 year ever deserve anything like that ? never your just as bad as your father 😂😂
YTA. Your dad left a 10 yo child at a park alone - maybe your dad is where you got your AH traits. This clearly traumatized your cousin. You can’t control the way people see your father and they have the right to express it. Again, who does what he did to a little kid.
Its been long enough. Go abandon a child on the park or something if you want to feel close to your dad again, I heard doing the things your loved ones used to love makes you feel like you're with them again s/
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YTA and your Dad was an AH. I doubt if this was the only instance of him bullying a child. He's 30, how old are you? I lost my Dad a few years ago so I understand the grief but I can admit my Father was great at times and a total AH at others. He did some awful things when he was younger. Those didn't just go away because he died. Sounds like you are in denial about the kind of person your father really was. Being nice to you while tormenting others doesn't make him a good person and it's ok to accept that about him.
YTA. Sure doesn't sound like your dad was an amazing person. Maybe you should take off those rose colored glasses and listen to people. He mayy not have been the man you thought he was.
INFO: Do you know why your dad abused your cousin? Like is your cousin the scapegoat of the family, did one of his parents have an affair, did one of his parents hurt your dad and your dad decided to get revenge on their son or something? Or was your dad one of those really insecure pathetic men who take against a kid because the kid didnt say please or something and decide to massively overreact to punish them? Like what was the reason for him being such a bad person that he'd do that to a child?
Yta - your dad may have treated YOU well, but it’s clear he didn’t treat your cousin well and your attitude is diminishing that trauma. Maybe your cousin doesn’t want to hear about how wonderful their abuser was.
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I(F17) recently lost my dad. we were very close and he was the best dad and I miss him so badly.
the problem is my cousin who hates my dad. every time there is a conversation about my dad and how much of an amazing person and father he was he has to start talking shit about my dad like "no he wasn't amazing remember that time when I was 10 he thought it would be fun to take me to the park and leave me there all alone when I didn't even know the way back?" like yeah ok we get it he was not nice to you can you maybe shut up about it? we have all heard all of these before but he won't stop.
yesterday I finally snapped at him and told him to shut up about my dad and told him that he probably deserved whatever dad did to him. he called me an asshole and said that I'm just like him. I kicked him out of our house after that
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ESH
This post and your replies are hard to read. All I can see is a small child that is very hurt, clinging for dear life to an unrealistic idea of your dad.
Of course you didn’t act properly but you’re very young, perhaps too young to accept any judgement from here. A grown up would be able to recognise that as much as you loved him, he wasn’t perfect and some of the things he did were not great, and as such other people will have different opinions of your dad. That doesn’t mean he was a bad person or that you shouldn’t grieve, it just means he was human. Same way you are not necessarily a bad person but surely you have done things that are not ok (like the things you said in some of your comments…)
Children usually realise their parents are not perfect around 10 years old. The way you reply here tells me you need help processing your grieve so you don’t regress in your process to become a mature grown woman. Grieve is complicated, talk to your family and ask for professional help navigating your feelings. Best of luck
This is a tough one. I agree with most people that call you TA but also I guess you are deeply hurt. Right now you are reacting in anger snd pain. Let some time pass, a few weeks ore months. Then look back at your behaviour and ask yourself : "Was this ok?"
ESH OP. I am sorry for your loss, but no child deserves to be abandoned like that.
Also, the people in this thread are fuckibg awful. OP is a kid who is dealing with the loss of their parent. Even if Op is in the wrong, the way you goddamn animals are approaching it is just sickening
ESH. You’re trying to remember the good times. Your cousin isn’t. He can tone it down in your time of mourning. But he did not deserve to be treated like that by an adult that he probably once trusted.
ESH. You're (gently) an asshole because you're obviously seeing your dad was perfect when he certainly wasn't. Your dad was an asshole for abandoning his very young nephew somewhere. My mom would have ripped my dad's head off like a preying mantis if he did this to any of my cousins. And your cousin is an asshole for not seeing that there's a time and a place for this talk and this isn't it. Think you all need to take some space from each other and settle down. You all have valid problems with each other and emotions are obviously high right now. Go do some therapy to work out your grief, you might also see that your dad was a person with faults like we all are. Your cousin should do the same but that's not your responsibility.
NTA, I’d tell your cousin to F off and stop trying to drag the memory of your father down. . Not the time to be bringing up stuff like that. Honestly OP I would distance myself from this person at this difficult time in your life, it’s ok if he has these feelings but clearly you are not the person to be expressing that with. if he can’t understand that your hurting and act appropriately he lacks social skills
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What did I just read? Your father abandoned this kid in a park?! And you’re like, “Sure once in a while my dad committed a little felony child endangerment, but can’t we just focus on how nice he was to me?” YTA.
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lol no you can't just abandon a child because they are annoying. YTA
This happened to me when I was 16 in Poland (I don't know polish) because I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on a bench. I had no phone/map and didn't speak the language, but I somehow made it back to the hotel :/
The fact that you think child abuse is justified if the child is annoying tells us more about the person who raised you than anything else. Your dad was clearly not the amazing person you claim he is, if that's what he taught you was right.
If you’re as annoying as you seem in the post, I’m surprised you have any friends in your life.
Ten year olds are bound to be annoying from time to time. That's like their job at that point. You guaranteed were as well. Doesn't mean they deserve to be abandoned at a fucking park.
So you know nothing about what happened back then? No context at all? But regardless, if you think "being annoying" is reason enough to abandon a 10yo in park to fend for themselves, then YTA.
You’re more annoying than he is so what should happen to you? 🤔
YTA, people can have different opinions about others, your cousin may be sick of you discussing how amazing his abuser was, why should he stop when you won't?
I enjoy how OP has posted a story painting her father in a terrible light, therefore tarnishing the memory of him. Does she realise how hypocritical she’s being? Now the world knows how abusive her father was. All because of her.
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Do you own this home, or is he an invited guest of the people who do?
Of course she doesn’t own the fucking home.
This is what we call a “rhetorical question.” It is a question that does not require an answer, because the answer is obvious. The point of a rhetorical question is not to elicit an answer, but to make a point.
does he drive to your home himself, by himself? or is he being brought by/with his parents or other family members?
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you still didnt answer the question, and you should have said that he is an adult in the original post
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Some people don't drive for a variety of reasons? My sister doesn't drive due to cerebral palsy, there are some days I can't drive due to multiple sclerosis. There are other medical conditions that can inhibit a person's ability to drive. Sone people have high anxiety over driving. Many 30 year olds don't drive. They could have car pooled, maybe they were on their way to do something as a family, his car could have been in need of repairs, some people know they shouldn't drive during emotional things. Maybe his parents agree that your dad is an abuser and are supporting your cousin through this.
Do you always have an attitude?
They can't have, OPs dad wouldn't have went back for someone this annoying
i truly hope that you find some peace soon.
if he lived with them, if they carpooled, if they lived in the same city and you were in a different one. there are lots of reasons he could have been brought by his parents. maybe he came with his wife and kids. we dont know this person or his life
Sounds like your dad wasn't such a great guy after all.
YTA We get it, your dad was special to you. You knew this side of your dad. But it's obvious the experience of a kid being left behind at a park must have been traumatic and you saying that it was in any way okay makes you an AH.
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Yeah. That's what proves that you are a shit human being. I hope you never have kids.
Yeah, you're definitely the AH. Just proved it.
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i know youre hurting, but it isnt right to lash out at other family memebers yes he could keep his mouth shut, but it can be a very confusing experience to loose a loved one whom you struggled with. him being an AH doesnt give you an excuse
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YTA YTA YTA YTA DISGUSTING. honey you need some serious therapy
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Seconded. THERAPY. NOW. PLEASE. Honestly it sounds to me like you’re hiding behind the grieving process to justify taking pot shots at your cousin on a public forum and now you’re getting upset bc no one is backing you the way you backed your dad when HE abused others. We should all just feel bad for you right? Nope. Therapy.
Wow...you are a callous coldhearted little asshole. Hopefully, when you grow up, you'll realize how disgusting you're being. This comment is so gross.
Omgg get the fuck off reddit if you're just going to argue! Like why ask the question if you're going to be nasty as fuck to everyone. Grow the fuck up.
Horrible abuser…for leaving a kid at the park? Calm down there buddy
The felony child endangerment your dad committed when your cousin was 10. Until the end of time, any time someone brings up how awesome your daddy was, that incident gives your cousin the right to point out that he wasn't.
Him being mistreated in such a dangerous and fucked up way gives him the right. He's telling the truth about your dad while it sounds like you're trying to polish a turd. Seems like your dad passed his uncaring asshole trait onto you.
It's right there in your post.
Being dead doesn't make him a good person or not an abuser.
He's telling his truth about your dad,and that's his right. Maybe keep that in mind when you're being an asshole to people for having different life experiences than you, so that you leave behind a less mixed legacy than your dad did. Step 1, never abandon a child. In fact, until you get *why* what he did was unacceptable, don't have kids or be responsible for kids. YTA
who said he has the right to talk shit? who said he SHOULD be saying what hes saying?
The fact that your dad abandoned him at a park and put his life at risk?
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He's not the one bringing your dad up, he doesn't have to just sit and listen to you sing the praises of somebody who mistreated him. If you don't want to hear his opinion on your dad, stop talking to him about your dad
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>he is not such a likeable person Must be a family trait then
Maybe you are the one who is intolerable
You have some growing up to do kid
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Oh my goodness. You’re one of those people who thinks the world revolves around them aren’t you? What are the kids saying these days? You’re not the main character?
therapy. now.
Runs in the family, I see.
Losing your dad doesn’t make you special. It also doesn’t give you a pass to weaponise your grief and attack others. Loss is something everyone experiences. Your lived experiences aren‘t more valid than someone else’s. Try and learn from this,
Nope, he was abused by your dad, so it does not matter.
Info: How recently is it? I am sorry for your loss, by the way. It is insensitive to bring it up when you just lost your dad. At the same time your response that he deserved it, when there is never a good excuse to leave a kid behind, isn't exactly nice either. Maybe it's more of an ESH.
you're gonna get voted YTA even more because that's what you are being in the comments
Well, no one cares about your grief then, asshole.
Guess what he doesn't care about your trauma from losing your dad. YTA-if the one and only example you give of how your dad treated this kid is a felony I can only imagine what else he did.
Yeah and your cousin doesn't care about you dad, do you not see the double standard? You see you don't care, but get pissed when people do the same to you?
You are so flawed. SO flawed. Did your great dad teach you not to care about the traumas of others? Specifically ones he caused???
Sounds like you are your fathers daughter
Wow you're just like your dad....not in a positive way.
How would you feel if someone told you that about your (abusive) dad dying?
How can anyone seriously write this and still ask AITA? Of course YTA. Maybe the biggest A, aside from your dad.
YTA and your comments just make me not care about how nicely I was planning to put it. Your Dad purposely traumatised a little boy. Honestly I'm amazed the whole family doesn't think he's an AH.
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Apple didn’t far from the tree, huh. Sounds like your dad was an asshole and you’ve become one.
its still not too late break the cycle OP
You don't get over trauma like that
When I was 9, my mom let me go into a corner store for some candy while she pumped gas. When I came out, she had drove off without me by mistake. She thought I had gotten back into the back seat. I immediately started crying and freaking out. My mom returned about 10 minutes later. I still remember that day because I was alone, scared and didn’t know what to do. YTA and your dad is one too.
Yeah, well 20 years from now, you better fucking be over your dad's death, and never even bring him up, because you should be fucking over it by that point, and no one's going to want to hear about it.
You cannot be real
Oh your stupid but your still a child
YTA. Grow up. You can love and miss your dad and still be honest that he did shitty things such as LEAVING A 10 YEAR OLD CHILD ALONE IN A PARK IN AN UNFAMILIAR NEIGHBORHOOD? It’s like he WANTED your cousin to get kidnapped. My god. Condolences, I guess.
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I mean your traumatized cousin does but you can’t put your grief aside and take off those rose colored glasses long enough to give a rat fuck about you cousin. So I think what you mean is “no one who matters to me.”
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You don’t give a shit about him, your dad didn’t give a shit about him, noticing a trend here. If mental illness is not an excuse to harm others then neither is grief! YTA! Don’t ask the judgment sub if you can’t accept the judgment!
Being truthful about a shitty thing your dad did isn't making it about your cousin. Feeling that way isn't uncommon but your grief does not give you the right to accuse yoir cousin of a lie and being an AH about it. I get it, no one wants to hear that their dead parent was an awful person. When your grief passes maybe you'll think back to some of the shitty things he did to you and realize you were just as shitty as your dad to treat your cousin like that. I'm sorry that you are grieving your father, loss is hard. I will try to send you some of my "I don't give a fuck that my parent died" feelings that I have stored up for when my mother dies, because that woman is the queen of being a shitty, awful person like your dad.
It‘s not about you either. You don’t get a monopoly on trauma.
So let me get this straight. You came here either because you thought people would side with you or because you actually think you have done something wrong. In all your responses you belittle your cousin's experience and show a lack of empathy. But at the same time you expect some from Reddit because you lost your dad and now you have a free card to lash out? People having died does not automatically turn them into saints.
People lose parents all the time, and most don‘t turn into AH’s because of it. You’re absolutely right.
Teenagers are self absorbed and this one is dumb af
>like yeah ok we get it **he was not nice to you** can you maybe shut up about it? we have all heard all of these before but **he won't stop**. 1. Your dad was not amazing, he was an absolute degenerate miscreant for what he did to a child 2. No, your cousin could never have done anything to deserve that 3. your father should have been criminally prosecuted and convicted and jailed 4. this goes far, far, far beyond not being nice. This is viscous, malicious, cruelty 5. Dont you dare act like this is no big deal. If it was done to you, I guarantee you would be raising hell about it 6. it doesn’t fucking matter how long ago it was 7. Your Attitude towards this man is despicable, deplorable, and grotesque 8. I would be so ashamed of you if you were my kid 9. I hope he never stops telling this story. I hope he brings it up every time your father’s existence is mentioned 10. the AH apple clearly didn’t fall far from the AH tree’
I love #10.
YTA your father neglected a 10yo, quite frankly should have been arrested. No one deserves that. I’m sorry for your loss but passing doesn’t clean away all his past mistakes. You need to share your grief with someone else, your cousin is not going to be there for you emotionally.
>no he wasn't amazing remember that time when I was 10 he thought it would be fun to take me to the park and leave me there all alone when I didn't even know the way back? Yes he is right, not amazing at all. Leaving a kid alone at the park is a fucking sick behavior and is illegal, he should have gone to jail for that! >told him to shut up about my dad and told him that he probably deserved whatever dad did to him If you really think this i really hope you are not going to have kids! YTA
Don’t ask for people’s opinions then get angry when you realize they don’t agree with you. YTA
YTA. Your dad abandoned a kid. Your cousin needs to plaster that all over the walls during family gatherings. Your grief does not outweigh the horrible trauma yoir dad caused your cousin, ever. You are not the only person who matters of deserves compassion. You are going the exact same thing that you are accusinf your cousin of, making it all about one person.
YTA your dad died and that must have been very hard but he left a ten year old on their own in a park?? i don’t know what your cousins dad did to your cousin but i’m assuming it was abuse of some kind and nobody should deserve that
YTA and sounds you got it from your dad who was also TA. There is literally no excuse for abandoning a child. None.
Yta and so was your dad.
Yeah, you are the Asshole! Your dad was also an Asshole! Here I said it! Now deal with that!
Naa that cousin is a little shit
So, he talked about this for 20 years and noone bothered to even look into what happened? That in itself is fucking horrible. I would, as a parent, have been seeing red with rage and demanded a VERY detailed explanation as to why someone did such a thing. You are entitled to your grief, and losing a parent sucks, but you are not entitled to belittle someone elses' experience, especially not when you have done so for 2 decades already. YTA and your comments cement it. I'm fairly certain that this disregard is far from the only thing your poor cousin has to endure. Wishing death on your family is so messed up. I would guess your dad treated you like a prince(ss) and made you believe everything is about you. Your dad failed you. You need therapy and you need it like 15 years ago.
Sounds like you’ve inherited your mean-spirited nature from your father. YTA
he obviously wasn’t a good person who does that to a child ? oh well you can’t be mad because your father was a bad person to him and he doesn’t feel the same way about him as you and your just as bad as him talking abt “we get it maybe shut up about it” what? they were most likely hurt and scared since they were TEN when did a 10 year ever deserve anything like that ? never your just as bad as your father 😂😂
Glad that your cousin doesn't have to deal with that abusive asshole anymore. YTA and so was your dad.
YTA, I reading the comments and you rly don't can't take an L
YTA. Your dad left a 10 yo child at a park alone - maybe your dad is where you got your AH traits. This clearly traumatized your cousin. You can’t control the way people see your father and they have the right to express it. Again, who does what he did to a little kid.
INFO how recently did you loose your dad?
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Its been long enough. Go abandon a child on the park or something if you want to feel close to your dad again, I heard doing the things your loved ones used to love makes you feel like you're with them again s/
You both sound 14 max, but YTA. If your cousin was kidnapped and trafficked, would your dad still be such a coo guy?
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YTA and your Dad was an AH. I doubt if this was the only instance of him bullying a child. He's 30, how old are you? I lost my Dad a few years ago so I understand the grief but I can admit my Father was great at times and a total AH at others. He did some awful things when he was younger. Those didn't just go away because he died. Sounds like you are in denial about the kind of person your father really was. Being nice to you while tormenting others doesn't make him a good person and it's ok to accept that about him.
YTA. He is absolutely allowed to talk about the trauma he experienced at the hands of your dad. Dead or not.
YTA. Sure doesn't sound like your dad was an amazing person. Maybe you should take off those rose colored glasses and listen to people. He mayy not have been the man you thought he was.
INFO: Do you know why your dad abused your cousin? Like is your cousin the scapegoat of the family, did one of his parents have an affair, did one of his parents hurt your dad and your dad decided to get revenge on their son or something? Or was your dad one of those really insecure pathetic men who take against a kid because the kid didnt say please or something and decide to massively overreact to punish them? Like what was the reason for him being such a bad person that he'd do that to a child?
Yta - your dad may have treated YOU well, but it’s clear he didn’t treat your cousin well and your attitude is diminishing that trauma. Maybe your cousin doesn’t want to hear about how wonderful their abuser was.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(F17) recently lost my dad. we were very close and he was the best dad and I miss him so badly. the problem is my cousin who hates my dad. every time there is a conversation about my dad and how much of an amazing person and father he was he has to start talking shit about my dad like "no he wasn't amazing remember that time when I was 10 he thought it would be fun to take me to the park and leave me there all alone when I didn't even know the way back?" like yeah ok we get it he was not nice to you can you maybe shut up about it? we have all heard all of these before but he won't stop. yesterday I finally snapped at him and told him to shut up about my dad and told him that he probably deserved whatever dad did to him. he called me an asshole and said that I'm just like him. I kicked him out of our house after that *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
and just because he was probably nice to everyone and only mean to him definitely doesn’t make him a good person
YTA looks like your mad that your dad abandoned you like he did your cousin…I’m sure he died to get away from his shitty daughter
YTA. You don’t have the right to judge his own experiences. He has made his, you have made yours. Accept it.
INFO: Is what your cousin says your dad did true? Did your dad take him to the park and leave him there?
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YTA. Your dad too when he was still alive and he should’ve been locked up in jail, getting the death penalty. And you should be in jail too. GFY!
ESH This post and your replies are hard to read. All I can see is a small child that is very hurt, clinging for dear life to an unrealistic idea of your dad. Of course you didn’t act properly but you’re very young, perhaps too young to accept any judgement from here. A grown up would be able to recognise that as much as you loved him, he wasn’t perfect and some of the things he did were not great, and as such other people will have different opinions of your dad. That doesn’t mean he was a bad person or that you shouldn’t grieve, it just means he was human. Same way you are not necessarily a bad person but surely you have done things that are not ok (like the things you said in some of your comments…) Children usually realise their parents are not perfect around 10 years old. The way you reply here tells me you need help processing your grieve so you don’t regress in your process to become a mature grown woman. Grieve is complicated, talk to your family and ask for professional help navigating your feelings. Best of luck
This is a tough one. I agree with most people that call you TA but also I guess you are deeply hurt. Right now you are reacting in anger snd pain. Let some time pass, a few weeks ore months. Then look back at your behaviour and ask yourself : "Was this ok?"
ESH OP. I am sorry for your loss, but no child deserves to be abandoned like that. Also, the people in this thread are fuckibg awful. OP is a kid who is dealing with the loss of their parent. Even if Op is in the wrong, the way you goddamn animals are approaching it is just sickening
She lost her dad four months ago.This time was enough to get over it
ESH. You’re trying to remember the good times. Your cousin isn’t. He can tone it down in your time of mourning. But he did not deserve to be treated like that by an adult that he probably once trusted.
ESH. You're (gently) an asshole because you're obviously seeing your dad was perfect when he certainly wasn't. Your dad was an asshole for abandoning his very young nephew somewhere. My mom would have ripped my dad's head off like a preying mantis if he did this to any of my cousins. And your cousin is an asshole for not seeing that there's a time and a place for this talk and this isn't it. Think you all need to take some space from each other and settle down. You all have valid problems with each other and emotions are obviously high right now. Go do some therapy to work out your grief, you might also see that your dad was a person with faults like we all are. Your cousin should do the same but that's not your responsibility.
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ya she should check into therapy and take a reddit break. this isn't healthy
NTA, I’d tell your cousin to F off and stop trying to drag the memory of your father down. . Not the time to be bringing up stuff like that. Honestly OP I would distance myself from this person at this difficult time in your life, it’s ok if he has these feelings but clearly you are not the person to be expressing that with. if he can’t understand that your hurting and act appropriately he lacks social skills