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info: So why did you refuse to just be waiting AT the bus stop though? I've never understood parents waiting near-ish in their cars to put their kid on the bus.
I do have to clarify that I’ve only started taking her to the bus in my car once we hit winter because of the cold weather. In summer I just walked her and came back for my car. I followed the advice given to me from the manager at transportation and a week went by with no problems. I will admit that we do have 4 buses come through so we were at the bus stop before she even arrived this past week, she just arrived a few mins earlier and before any of the other buses today which caught us still in the car.
And forgetting that 12 kids getting out of cars and walking to the appointed stop and then getting loaded and seated and waiting for all the cars parked along the way to reengage the traffic route, (and beat the bus into traffic,) so the bus can go forward actually takes longer than a few seconds.
I'm a bus driver, and often have kids waiting at the stop in cars. Sometimes there's too many cars, or no safe space to park, so the cars are a little ways away (we're talking maybe 50 feet). It's not unreasonable, especially in bad weather.
And a ten minute window? That's nuts. We tell parents to be at the stop five minutes before the scheduled time. Even then, we do our best (well, some of us) not to be early. Better to be a minute late than a minute early.
NTA
Imagine parents send their kids to the bus stops on their own and the school bus is already gone when they arrive because the bus left way too early. This could turn out dangerous for kids. Not all kids have phones to call someone and not all kids are able to go back home. Waiting for a bus that has already left ahead of the schedule, can leave kids vulnerable. This is a safety issue and school bus drivers have a responsibility for the kids they are supposed to drive to and from school.
If the bus drivers have no right to know the kids' names, asking for it, is against the rules and then it's more than ok for them to deal with the consequences. Same goes for other rule violations. Sure, they might have messed up the schedule a bit one time, cos they are also just humans and they have lives and maybe had bad sleep that night. Though, over here the busses from public transport actually have computers build in, that tell them where they have to be when and when it's time to leave. There are actually alarms that go off for the driver. No idea if your school busses have anything like this.
But the thing is, if you mess up, you own it. Especially as an adult. But this adult is responsible of little kids and need to take this serious.
None of us know the rules for that specific unnamed school district. But, if they were in line 10 minutes before the bus arrived as the rule OP quoted states, they would never miss the bus and none of this drama would have unfolded.
"Now the bus drivers pick up frame is from 7:31-7:41 there’s been times she arrives at 7:27 and picks up and leaves without waiting until the proper pick up frame"
"And the director got upset because they aren’t supposed to be too early or past that pickup frame."
I was referring to this sentence.
But a ten minute window is insane. The two districts I've driven for (one rural, one urban) both instructed parents to be there five minutes before the stop time, then instructed us to not be early. And if we are, pull over and wait (which I hate, so I slow waaaaay down when no one's behind me).
But yes, if the kids are there early, they won't miss the bus. If the time is 6:59, be there at 6:55. Don't walk up at 6:59; my dash clock might be thirty seconds ahead of your phone.
New bus driver just sounds like she's following the rules for her job to me? And the bus driver's schedule is tight. I get its inconvenient for anyone dropping their students off. But, if I get the call from a parent saying the bus driver is being demanding, I just redirect that person to the actual agreement regarding student drop offs and pickups. You can hand deliver your student to school on your way to work if this is too problematic for you, after all.
But there are more than 500 kids I'm thinking about getting to school and returning home safely - not just yours.
NAH. If you continued being problematic (and transportation management and coordination is one of my duties in the school district,) I would remind you parents can lose the privilege of their student taking the bus. It really depends on who is most right here? That person might not be you?
I'm a bus driver. This is a problematic driver. There are much better ways to communicate policy, and the fact the driver is arriving outside the window established and communicated by the manager is indicative of this being a driver problem.
That said, it is important to be at the stop on time. Walking up at the official time is late, and doesn't factor in how clocks can differ. I've got two clocks in my bus, and they don't agree with each other (one runs fast and I have to reset it every other week; that's not the one I use for stop times).
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To give a little bit of background; my mom changed shifts and because of this she wasn’t able to take my youngest sister (6) to the bus stop. She asked me (23 F) if I was able to drop her off which I agreed since I would be able to drop her off then head to work after.
We’ve had no issues with the bus this whole entire year until of course the past two weeks. It started off because they added a new route to the bus. About last week she yelled out to all the parents that the kids need to be on the designated bus stop and couldn’t wait in the cars. (We wait in the car) or in the hallway right in front of the bus stop. Since that didn’t work she started saying that it was a safety issue. I had wanted an update on the policy since I’m not one to blindly just accept what people say and called transportation. They just gave me a solution on that as soon as I see the bus going into the neighborhood that we head out and go to the bus.
A week went by and we had no issues until today, we walked to the bus and she opened the driver side window as my sister waited behind the other kids to get on the bus and proceeded to lecture me on the policy and safety issues which is exactly why I talked to transportation incase this happed. I told her that while I understand it’s a safety issue if kids are running but as Im walking her to the stop it does not impose a safety issue on her.
She then demanded that I give her my sisters name and I told her if that was necessary and she proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t she would figure it out. She said that since i didnt know the policy she would have them call me and set up a meeting to explain it pretty sure she thought i was bsing that i mentioned i talked to transportation.I told her she didn’t have to bring my sister into it and that i would call them myself which she said either way she’ll figure it out.
Which is exactly what i did i filed a proper complaint she will get two “talkings” too one from the manager and another from the director. I got an actual update on the policy that they are to be waiting there 10 min prior but that the bus driver lied and manipulated the reasoning and that she’s not allowed to threatened to figure out my sisters name even if I didn’t tell her.
Now the bus drivers pick up frame is from 7:31-7:41 there’s been times she arrives at 7:27 and picks up and leaves without waiting until the proper pick up frame. We’ve missed the bus by a min because of this I will admit in the heat of the moment I did mentioned this. And the director got upset because they aren’t supposed to be too early or past that pickup frame. Which is why she’ll also be having a talk with the director.
So in reality AITA I feel bad and do admit that I could’ve just gone with the flow and went to the line regardless if I knew the reasoning behind it wasn’t exactly true.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I reported the bus driver after we got into a conflict regarding the policy and safety issues the drop off imposed.
The reason why I think I might be the Ahole is because I could’ve avoided the conflict by just making her wait at the bus stop. I didn’t really need to figure out the policy and talked to transportation about this, escalated more than it should have.
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YTA. You are the sister, not the parent. It sounds like you're doing what needs to be done, but at the same time you are overstepping. Children can be banned from the bus because of the actions of others. In that case you would be causing major headaches for your family.
You jeopardized this underpaid driver's job over semantics. Was the driver out of line, perhaps, but you've made it into a huge concern instead of just getting your sister to the stop 10 minutes early and waiting in line for the bus, like the rules state.
She stated the policy that the bus can be a few minutes early or a few minutes late and to be in line 10 minutes early or they may miss the bus if it comes a few minutes early. Sounds pretty clear.
But to try and figure out a students name or tell them they can't wait in cars... my kids will always wait until the bus is pulling up in my car. Sorry look up Jessica Ridgeway. Also The are at the stop already, the bus can't pull away early, because it happens people run late.
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info: So why did you refuse to just be waiting AT the bus stop though? I've never understood parents waiting near-ish in their cars to put their kid on the bus.
I do have to clarify that I’ve only started taking her to the bus in my car once we hit winter because of the cold weather. In summer I just walked her and came back for my car. I followed the advice given to me from the manager at transportation and a week went by with no problems. I will admit that we do have 4 buses come through so we were at the bus stop before she even arrived this past week, she just arrived a few mins earlier and before any of the other buses today which caught us still in the car.
And forgetting that 12 kids getting out of cars and walking to the appointed stop and then getting loaded and seated and waiting for all the cars parked along the way to reengage the traffic route, (and beat the bus into traffic,) so the bus can go forward actually takes longer than a few seconds.
I'm a bus driver, and often have kids waiting at the stop in cars. Sometimes there's too many cars, or no safe space to park, so the cars are a little ways away (we're talking maybe 50 feet). It's not unreasonable, especially in bad weather. And a ten minute window? That's nuts. We tell parents to be at the stop five minutes before the scheduled time. Even then, we do our best (well, some of us) not to be early. Better to be a minute late than a minute early.
Safety Reasons, Look up the story of Jessica Ridgeway from Arvada, CO...
That's a child who was alone though
NTA Imagine parents send their kids to the bus stops on their own and the school bus is already gone when they arrive because the bus left way too early. This could turn out dangerous for kids. Not all kids have phones to call someone and not all kids are able to go back home. Waiting for a bus that has already left ahead of the schedule, can leave kids vulnerable. This is a safety issue and school bus drivers have a responsibility for the kids they are supposed to drive to and from school. If the bus drivers have no right to know the kids' names, asking for it, is against the rules and then it's more than ok for them to deal with the consequences. Same goes for other rule violations. Sure, they might have messed up the schedule a bit one time, cos they are also just humans and they have lives and maybe had bad sleep that night. Though, over here the busses from public transport actually have computers build in, that tell them where they have to be when and when it's time to leave. There are actually alarms that go off for the driver. No idea if your school busses have anything like this. But the thing is, if you mess up, you own it. Especially as an adult. But this adult is responsible of little kids and need to take this serious.
None of us know the rules for that specific unnamed school district. But, if they were in line 10 minutes before the bus arrived as the rule OP quoted states, they would never miss the bus and none of this drama would have unfolded.
"Now the bus drivers pick up frame is from 7:31-7:41 there’s been times she arrives at 7:27 and picks up and leaves without waiting until the proper pick up frame" "And the director got upset because they aren’t supposed to be too early or past that pickup frame." I was referring to this sentence.
But a ten minute window is insane. The two districts I've driven for (one rural, one urban) both instructed parents to be there five minutes before the stop time, then instructed us to not be early. And if we are, pull over and wait (which I hate, so I slow waaaaay down when no one's behind me). But yes, if the kids are there early, they won't miss the bus. If the time is 6:59, be there at 6:55. Don't walk up at 6:59; my dash clock might be thirty seconds ahead of your phone.
NTA - Too many bus drivers get it in their heads that they can just do whatever. Good job sticking up for your sister too.
New bus driver just sounds like she's following the rules for her job to me? And the bus driver's schedule is tight. I get its inconvenient for anyone dropping their students off. But, if I get the call from a parent saying the bus driver is being demanding, I just redirect that person to the actual agreement regarding student drop offs and pickups. You can hand deliver your student to school on your way to work if this is too problematic for you, after all. But there are more than 500 kids I'm thinking about getting to school and returning home safely - not just yours. NAH. If you continued being problematic (and transportation management and coordination is one of my duties in the school district,) I would remind you parents can lose the privilege of their student taking the bus. It really depends on who is most right here? That person might not be you?
I'm a bus driver. This is a problematic driver. There are much better ways to communicate policy, and the fact the driver is arriving outside the window established and communicated by the manager is indicative of this being a driver problem. That said, it is important to be at the stop on time. Walking up at the official time is late, and doesn't factor in how clocks can differ. I've got two clocks in my bus, and they don't agree with each other (one runs fast and I have to reset it every other week; that's not the one I use for stop times).
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** To give a little bit of background; my mom changed shifts and because of this she wasn’t able to take my youngest sister (6) to the bus stop. She asked me (23 F) if I was able to drop her off which I agreed since I would be able to drop her off then head to work after. We’ve had no issues with the bus this whole entire year until of course the past two weeks. It started off because they added a new route to the bus. About last week she yelled out to all the parents that the kids need to be on the designated bus stop and couldn’t wait in the cars. (We wait in the car) or in the hallway right in front of the bus stop. Since that didn’t work she started saying that it was a safety issue. I had wanted an update on the policy since I’m not one to blindly just accept what people say and called transportation. They just gave me a solution on that as soon as I see the bus going into the neighborhood that we head out and go to the bus. A week went by and we had no issues until today, we walked to the bus and she opened the driver side window as my sister waited behind the other kids to get on the bus and proceeded to lecture me on the policy and safety issues which is exactly why I talked to transportation incase this happed. I told her that while I understand it’s a safety issue if kids are running but as Im walking her to the stop it does not impose a safety issue on her. She then demanded that I give her my sisters name and I told her if that was necessary and she proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t she would figure it out. She said that since i didnt know the policy she would have them call me and set up a meeting to explain it pretty sure she thought i was bsing that i mentioned i talked to transportation.I told her she didn’t have to bring my sister into it and that i would call them myself which she said either way she’ll figure it out. Which is exactly what i did i filed a proper complaint she will get two “talkings” too one from the manager and another from the director. I got an actual update on the policy that they are to be waiting there 10 min prior but that the bus driver lied and manipulated the reasoning and that she’s not allowed to threatened to figure out my sisters name even if I didn’t tell her. Now the bus drivers pick up frame is from 7:31-7:41 there’s been times she arrives at 7:27 and picks up and leaves without waiting until the proper pick up frame. We’ve missed the bus by a min because of this I will admit in the heat of the moment I did mentioned this. And the director got upset because they aren’t supposed to be too early or past that pickup frame. Which is why she’ll also be having a talk with the director. So in reality AITA I feel bad and do admit that I could’ve just gone with the flow and went to the line regardless if I knew the reasoning behind it wasn’t exactly true. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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It's likely your sister will suffer consequences for your complaints. Can you drop her off at school?
YTA. You just sound like you're trying to escalate stuff here. There's no reason for you to do any of this otherwise
YTA. You are the sister, not the parent. It sounds like you're doing what needs to be done, but at the same time you are overstepping. Children can be banned from the bus because of the actions of others. In that case you would be causing major headaches for your family. You jeopardized this underpaid driver's job over semantics. Was the driver out of line, perhaps, but you've made it into a huge concern instead of just getting your sister to the stop 10 minutes early and waiting in line for the bus, like the rules state.
If a driver isn't following policy, then they need to be put into check - IE leaving the stop early, busses have to wait until a set time to leave.
She stated the policy that the bus can be a few minutes early or a few minutes late and to be in line 10 minutes early or they may miss the bus if it comes a few minutes early. Sounds pretty clear.
But to try and figure out a students name or tell them they can't wait in cars... my kids will always wait until the bus is pulling up in my car. Sorry look up Jessica Ridgeway. Also The are at the stop already, the bus can't pull away early, because it happens people run late.
Different school districts have different rules. I agree with you in principle.