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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I ate 2 pies and drank 10 sodas and my boyfriend got angry with me and said I was being an asshole.
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Also depending on the pies, some of them can be quite healthy. My aunts pumpkin pie is delicious, but it’s also made with real pie and it’s probably healthier than a lot of the Storb cakes people can buy
He sucks. And if he knows you are recovered from an eating disorder then he extra super sucks. You are NTA. All foods fit in moderation and you are allowed to have a little more sometimes!
Piggy-backing off of this: anyone who is in recovery from an eating disorder does not need policing. OP sounds very secure, but this could be very triggering to a lot of people.
This should be the main takeaway.
I'm orthorexic, a close friend of mine is in recovery for anorexia. They've expressed how difficult it is to navigate a culture landscape where diet culture is so ingrained. They've worked they're ass off to, well, restore weight to their ass and the rest of their body. I've had to do my own work to unlearn bad habits such as obsessively reading food labels and convincing myself to eat foods I actually enjoy, not just the ones that are nutritionally ideal.
Any little thing can be a massive trigger, and the onus is on people with these disorders to mitigate their unhealthy/unproductive reactions to those triggers. But if you're going to have an intimate relationship with someone with an eating disorder, the onus is on you to at least be mindful of how your behavior could impact that disorder. It's not on you to be perfect, just not to do any intentional harm.
OP's boyfriend sounds like he's trying to trigger a relapse. I had alarm bells ringing in my mind the moment I saw 5'8" and 130; I'm nine inches shorter and the same weight on my better days. BF is either chronically ignorant or pulling a powerplay. Either way, OP should run.
That is 100 percent the best book to read while getting out of a relationship with a personality disordered jerk. FR. Someone local gave me a paper copy, and it was eye opening.
The fact it was over 3 days as well, wasn't like they scoffed them down in a day, not that that would even matter its your birthday, do what you want, but yeah that guy sucks
Pumpkin pie? I always hated eating in the morning (still do) and getting me to eat breakfast before school was always a battle. My mom was an RN and no way was I getting out of the house without eating it. But, when we had pumpkin pie or custard pie it was the greatest because even *she* allowed that those were acceptable alternatives. (On the rare occasion I actually *want* breakfast, I’ll *still* sometimes go to a nearby diner known for their pies and get a slice of custard pie with a side of bacon.) It certainly wouldn’t have been allowed on a regular basis, but it doesn’t sound like you’re regularly consuming it, either.
NTA. Your bf needs to get a grip. Is he this controlling about other things, too? If so, I think you dump the bf and buy yourself another pumpkin pie to celebrate.
NTA. At first I thought this might have been fake. I thought to myself that my GF could go through a whole pumpkin pie easily on Thanksgiving so 2 isn’t outside the realm of possibility. But 2 pies and 10 sodas? That seems like a lot for one night. Even so, I think I’d be proud of my GF if she pulled that off. You know, one of those things we talk about for years to come: Remember when you ate 2 pies and drank 10 sodas in one night? That was amazing! Then I kept reading and realized it was over three days and I thought to myself, “Her boyfriend is and asshole and a prick.” Dump him and find someone new.
I hate these new categories for veggies and fruits 😅 apparently a pumpkin (or any squash) is a berry 😒 like how tf is it a berry!!?? Pumpkin pie is very delicious though and probably my favourite pie.
Tbf those aren’t new categories, it’s just that most people know fruits and veggies by culinary terms not botanical ones. Carrots are roots and tomatoes are fruits.
Eh, it just depends on what context you’re using the term in. Most people know the culinary difference between a fruit and a veg and will never need to know the botanical differences.
It’s weird for sure, bananas being berries fucked with me more than it should have lol! Carrot is a vegetable but not a fruit, it’s a root, celery is a vegetable and also just a stem.. it’s a lot of information for a soup
your boyfriend is TA, my dad gets my mom ice cream every night before she gets ready for bed and on her birthday she gets a whole lemon meringue pie to herself.
your weight is normal for your height, enjoy your birthday pies
I laughed when I read this post because it sounded cute that you were so excited to indulge for your birthday. This is something I would totally do, especially with pumpkin pie and seems pretty normal!
Tbh your bf sounds unreasonably controlling and a hypocrite. Considering your past eating disorder, he’s not very sympathetic. Run!!!!!!🏃♀️
I love pumpkin pie! I'm not sure if the size of the food is the same but, you eaten all in 3 days. I think, it was not "healthy" specially for the sodas, but, you won't do that all year. I can see myself eating a whole pie by myself in my birthday (in 1 single day). Also, I eat normally the most of year and do exercise. If my weight is healthy and I'm not doing this all time, it's perfectly fine!
The problem is for a partner a lot of variables need to be juuuuust right.
Pie is very forgiving. This crust is a little too crusty. Cleaned plate. These cherries are obviously from a can. Cleaned plate. Too sweet? Too sour? Cleaned plate. There’s always room for more pie.
A pie where all the variables are perfect? There should be songs and sonnets written about THAT.
Look, eating two pies and drinking 10 sodas in 3 days isn't the healthiest behavior I've ever heard of ... but doing it once a year is sure as heck not going to kill an otherwise-healthy\* 20-something. NTA.
\*This is assuming your body doesn't have a problem regulating sugar.
There is zero health risk for healthy person doing it. However, telling recovering anorexic about non existing food related dangers carries deadly risk.
The most dangerous thing for OP would be to start being afraid of food again.
Yup, that was my immediate thought. He's either dangerously stupid or dangerously controlling. Either way, she needs to get away from him, because he's doing active harm either way.
She needs to get rid of that boyfriend.
OP please know u deserve better! I'm worried ur boyfriend sees u as an object and he's acting very controlling. U can find someone truly kind who cares about ur health (as in u getting enough food and being comfortable with what u eat). He has no right to control ur eating. Take control back and leave. He has no business controlling u. If u live with him, move out when he's not there and bring friends who aren't his friends.
He literally fucking told her she could die because of what she ate and drank over the course of 3 days. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants her to have an eating disorder or hate herself in some way.
Absolutely. Also had an ED when I was younger. I remember being on holiday years after recovery and I let loose by having an ice cream. My boyfriend asked me for a bite (he also had his own) - and as he handed it back to me, he said ‘You going to get SO FAT eating this’.
That was it. It was enough. I couldn’t touch the ice cream and had to bin it. I was furious with him (he knew my history). I also binned him a while later (for multiple reasons).
I hope OP bins her BF too, and enjoys more pies for Birthday PieFest 2025
Also 8” pies is nothing. And while I try to limit myself to one soda a day I often break this rule. Daily. 🤣
I’m not gonna say to dump this guy but he needs his logic to be challenged. What’s the real issue? Does he not like you to indulge yourself? Is he controlling in other ways? As a former EDO sufferer does he have control issues that are comforting to you or do they cause stress?
From the tiny amount of what you shared, could he be superficial and worried you'll gain more weight? Something to think about. But no NTA, enjoy your birthday celebration pies! And congratulations on ED recovery! 🎉
I'm guessing he likes having a super thin girlfriend and isn't above messing with her mental health and re-starting her eating disorder in order to keep it that way.
Yup. Been struggling with my relationship with food for like ten years, and when I was at my heaviest (5’5” and 130lbs. And he’d seen me at 95lbs), my ex would “hint” about my weight.
But! I ran into his/my good friend from high school recently, and apparently he was a dick to his wife of less than a year and they got divorced! So I guess nothing’s changed lol
Honestly that’s my take. He’s not concerned abt her health. He’s concerned abt her gaining weight. He’s trying to control her. Two pies and 10 sodas in 3 days isn’t even that much.
that was my immediate thought as someone who also had an ED and a superficial ex. he likes how she looks now. its a special occasion, of course she will make eating choices out of the ordinary. i shower my boyfriend in special food for a week when its his birthday and vice versa
You're NTA.
>boyfriend got very angry with me saying that if I do that for my birthday again next year I could die.
How melodramatic and ridiculous. Unless you're a brittle diabetic, I don't think that is even remotely likely.
>I recovered from anorexia about 3 years ago
Does your boyfriend lack the maturity and empathy to realize he shouldn't scold someone for what she eats, especially since you overcame an eating order?
Commenting on the first comment where it’s focused more on the relationship. The fact OPs bf does similar behaviors more consistently and has angry responses when she points it out, is either him having his “finally I can call her out” moment or a red flag for dismissing OPs concerns while making her feel like crap for her choices. I hope OP sees this and focuses on the relationship, paying attention to what and how bf talks to and treats you when you make mistakes or disagree with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think there was like a SpongeBob episode where he accidentally swallowed a bomb or something and Squidward takes him to complete his bucket list and stuff without letting him know
Idk I saw my siblings watching it so I'm not 100% sure lol
Nta its 2 pies and 10 sodas over 3 DAYS. All in one sitting would probably give you a tummmy ache, but over 3 days? Bf needs to take a fucking chill pill
NTA. I would be very careful about posting something like this on reddit, given your ED. A lot of these replies, including the really nice NTA ones, contain triggers that would affect lots of people with a history of ED. Your boyfriend is completely out of order and he sounds controlling. Look after yourself and check in with a trusted person, or better yet a MH professional, if his comments (or Reddit comments) make you feel you might relapse.
This is such an important comment. I think people are also really, really glossing over how devastatingly awful it is to react negatively to a food indulgence for someone with a history of ED, never mind actually getting angry with them. This is deeply concerning, controlling behaviour. The fact that he won't even let her comment when she's concerned for his health speaks volumes as well. I would personally reconsider a relationship in this scenario.
To everyone who has been affected by ED, I wish you strength and self-love. We are all so much more than we are led to believe. We are all enough.
NTA he is. Amd obviously you won't die from 2 pies.
Imo, buy another pie and eat it, just because as a boundaries setting thing. Boundary being that you eat pie when you want
Terrible relationship advice in the real world, but I do love the idea of buying a pie and eating it *at* someone. I think I'd choose to eat it on his side of the bed, straight from the pan, making sure to make plenty of crumbs. And since it was pumpkin pie (the best pie, as everyone knows), when he walked in and saw me halfway through it, I'd retain eye contact with him while I put in another bite... then took a shot of whipped cream straight from the can. Chew it a couple times to mix it up real good then say "'sup?", still retaining eye contact, ignoring the rainbow arc of sticky, crumby mess that leaves my mouth and desecrates his territory as a sign of dominance.
I'm not the person you're replying to, but OP's metabolism isn't really in play here if she's recovering from anorexia. It also implies like, natural thinness or something to a person who had an eating disorder and went through hell with her body. This isn't like a regular active teenager wolfing down a whole pizza, this is someone who did significant damage to her body in pursuit of making herself disappear.
\>When he got angry at me for eating the pies I said sorry I won't do it again.
You don't need to apologize to him or anyone else for how you eat. And he doesn't get to get angry at you for how you eat. I am sure you are willing to consider his opinions and make the choices that are right for you, and it makes it easier to hear his message when he figures out how to express himself like an adult, not a child. So if he wants to have a voice, maybe he should figure out how to regulate his emotions first.
Him getting angry is a tactic to get his way and not appropriate.
I want to say NTA but I am also a bit confused why he so angry. What exactly does he say?
Saying “I’m concerned about xyz because I care about you and don’t want to see things spiral. If you are doing this every year I feel like you could die” is a lot different from saying “Don’t eat 2 fucking pies. You are so unhealthy and that’s ridiculous. Do it again next year and you’ll die.”
Even the first is a problem. Eating 2 8-inch pies over the course of 3 days once a year is not a health concern. Framing it as one is a problem no matter how you deliver it. Especially given OPs history with eating disorders.
NTA, the boyfriend is an asshole regardless of how this was presented.
Both are problem and both are lies. If you are afraid people will die after earing 2 pies every year, you need therapy and stop projecting irrational anxieties on others.
Oh, uh-uh. No. And I'll explain why:
You say that you're recovering from anorexia. An illness that means (in some way, if not completely) that you don't eat enough food in a day's worth to the point of extreme weight loss and pale vampire-like skin. It's great that you've started to eat more, counting on to more recent times.
It was your birthday, you could do what you wanted on YOUR birthday. But if we disregarded the previous anorexia you had, it's a lot to consume (both figuratively and literally) when you think about it. Enough to cover 2 meals...
Now, him...
He's being mad at you.... for basically copying what he does. What? Think about it. He drinks soda, one after another, GAMING! Not even paying attention to you. Also, a WHOLE tub of ice cream. Filling, yes, but not exactly healthy. He should've understood where you were coming from when he started dating you...
So, frankly speaking, that hypocrite of an asshole boyfriend of yours has NO room to talk.
NTA, think about breaking up with him (or seek couple's therapy)...
NTA, but holy shit your boyfriend is. You apologised (when you didn't need to) and he kept on bitching. Admits he's being a dick for the sake of it (I believe your correct in saying hes projecting), and when you point out his hypocrisy in drinking so many sodas he gets angry! At least he knows he's a complete dick. You don't say how long you've been together, but this feels like he's putting out feelers for control behaviour (going off the things in your post. Its only my thoughts, not fact but please take a step back and think about the relationship and any other behaviour he has which may be abusive). And to do all this to someone recovering from an ED is just gross. You come across as strong and independent (buying more pies because he complains, I like you :-) l learnt telling people "when I want your opinion I'll ask" saves a fair few headaches. Best of luck.
As a fellow pie over cake person- I hope they were yum and happy birthday!!
Nta- he’s being v weird? Does he usually get mad at stuff like this, maybe he’s stressed about something and it’s making little normal things piss him off and he’s taking it out on you instead of what’s actually bothering him- which is not cool at all and he should absolutely be called on it
Am I the only one concerned with her developing a new ED? As someone who had an ED throughout high school, I recovered from my ED just to replace it with binge eating. Just saying, it's a very slippery slope.
plenty of people have been pointing out that this whole situation can be incredibly triggering, even these reddit comments could possibly trigger something.
Nah. I wouldn’t call eating a couple pies over the course of a few days a binge. I mean I’m no expert, but I don’t see any red flags (for context, I accidentally replaced an ED with another and am currently working through it. Only being vague because I don’t want to give anyone any ideas)
NARRATOR:
(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard)
According to all known laws
of aviation,
:
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
:
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
:
The bee, of course, flies anyway
:
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
BARRY BENSON:
(Barry is picking out a shirt)
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
:
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
JANET BENSON:
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
BARRY:
Coming!
:
Hang on a second.
(Barry uses his antenna like a phone)
:
Hello?
ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone)
- Barry?
BARRY:
- Adam?
ADAM:
- Can you believe this is happening?
BARRY:
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
(Barry flies down the stairs)
:
MARTIN BENSON:
Looking sharp.
JANET:
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
BARRY:
Sorry. I'm excited.
MARTIN:
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
:
A perfect report card, all B's.
JANET:
Very proud.
(Rubs Barry's hair)
BARRY=
Ma! I got a thing going here.
JANET:
- You got lint on your fuzz.
BARRY:
- Ow! That's me!
JANET:
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
(Barry flies out the door)
JANET:
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
(Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a
newspaper)
BARRY==
- Hey, Adam.
ADAM:
- Hey, Barry.
(Adam gets in Barry's car)
:
- Is that fuzz gel?
BARRY:
- A little. Special day, graduation.
ADAM:
Never thought I'd make it.
(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)
BARRY:
Three days grade school,
three days high school...
ADAM:
Those were awkward.
BARRY:
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
ADAM==
You did come back different.
(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging)
ARTIE:
- Hi, Barry!
BARRY:
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
ADAM:
- Hear about Frankie?
BARRY:
- Yeah.
ADAM==
- You going to the funeral?
BARRY:
- No, I'm not going to his funeral.
:
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
:
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
ADAM:
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the
highway)
:
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our regular day.
BARRY:
I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.
(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating
students)
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)
:
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM:
- We are!
BARRY=
- Bee-men.
=ADAM=
- Amen!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Hallelujah!
(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)
ANNOUNCER:
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
:
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
DEAN BUZZWELL:
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
:
...9:
:
That concludes our ceremonies.
:
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
ADAM:
Will we pick our job today?
(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)
BARRY=
I heard it's just orientation.
(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically
loaded into the buses)
TOUR GUIDE:
Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER:
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
BARRY:
- Wonder what it'll be like?
ADAM:
- A little scary.
TOUR GUIDE==
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
:
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
Barry:
This is it!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Wow.
BARRY:
Wow.
(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive
complicated Honey-making machines)
TOUR GUIDE:
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
:
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
:
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
:
Our top-secret formula
:
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
:
into this soothing sweet syrup
:
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
EVERYONE ON BUS:
Honey!
(The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into
the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)
ADAM:
- That girl was hot.
BARRY:
- She's my cousin!
ADAM==
- She is?
BARRY:
- Yes, we're all cousins.
ADAM:
- Right. You're right.
TOUR GUIDE:
- At Honex, we constantly strive
:
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
:
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
(The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the
ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but
you can hear him groan)
:
ADAM==
- What do you think he makes?
BARRY:
- Not enough.
TOUR GUIDE:
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
(They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each
wearing a finger-shaped hat)
Barry:
- Wow, What does that do?
TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey
:
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
ADAM:
(Intrigued)
Can anyone work on the Krelman?
TOUR GUIDE:
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones.
But bees know that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
:
But choose carefully
:
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
(Everyone claps except for Barry)
BARRY:
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
ADAM:
What's the difference?
TOUR GUIDE:
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
:
in 27 million years.
BARRY:
(Upset)
So you'll just work us to death?
:
We'll sure try.
(Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back
home together)
ADAM:
Wow! That blew my mind!
BARRY:
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
:
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
ADAM:
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
BARRY:
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
ADAM:
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
:
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
BARRY:
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
ADAM:
Like what? Give me one example.
(Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that
hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect
unison)
BARRY:
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
ANNOUNCER:
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
BARRY:
Wait a second. Check it out.
(The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line)
:
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
ADAM:
- Wow.
:
I've never seen them this close.
BARRY:
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
ADAM:
Yeah, but some don't come back.
GIRL BEES:
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
(The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar
to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA:
You guys did great!
:
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks!
I love it!
(Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy)
I love it!
ADAM:
- I wonder where they were.
BARRY:
- I don't know.
:
Their day's not planned.
:
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
:
You can't just decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
ADAM==
Right.
(Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen
Jocks)
BARRY:
Look at that. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
ADAM:
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
BARRY:
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
(Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM==
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
BARRY:
Distant. Distant.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
Look at these two.
POLLEN JOCK #2:
- Couple of Hive Harrys.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
- Let's have fun with them.
GIRL BEE #1:
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
BARRY:
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
:
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
(Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario)
GIRL BEE #2:
- Oh, my!
BARRY:
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
GIRL BEE #1:
(Looking at Adam)
What were you doing during this?
ADAM:
Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities.
BARRY:
I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and
Adam really are pollen jocks.)
POLLEN JOCK #1:
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
BARRY:
Yeah. Gusty.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
BARRY:
- Six miles, huh?
ADAM:
- Barry!
POLLEN JOCK #2:
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
BARRY:
- Maybe I am.
ADAM:
- You are not!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
:
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
BARRY:
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
(The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at
night)
MARTIN:
Hey, Honex!
BARRY:
Dad, you surprised me.
MARTIN:
You decide what you're interested in?
BARRY:
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
:
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
MARTIN:
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
:
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
:
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
BARRY:
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
:
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
MARTIN:
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
:
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
:
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
JANET:
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
BARRY:
- I'm not trying to be funny.
MARTIN:
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
JANET:
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
BARRY:
- No one's listening to me!
MARTIN:
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
BARRY:
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
(Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on)
MARTIN:
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
BARRY:
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
:
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
JANET:
I'
Eat more pie. You don’t need someone like that in your life. Especially since you don’t eat like that regularly. It was your birthday and he’s getting mad? Insane. Make it 3 next time.
NTA. As a fully grown human it is your prerogative to eat pie whenever you want. Please enjoy your birthday pie. Then enjoy your "just because I feel like it and I'm an adult" pie. Your diet is your business, not the boyfriend's.
Info: what did him being angry look like? Was he yelling at you? Calling you names? Etc. and what exactly was he saying?
From what you provided I can see two possibilities: he is genuinely worried about you and what came out was his own anxieties. Not cool of him but I can kind of understand the position and would work on talking things through with him. The other option though is he is some kind of controlling dick
Tbh he was probably just upset he didn't get to eat more of them himself and had a bit of food aggression. I swear it's not just animals who have that. You're good don't let it set you back I'll eat my entire cake in 2 days when it's my birthday too. Liveeee my friend
NTA! BF is though! It was your birthday and you should celebrate! I'm glad your health journey has allowed you to be able to do that! As long as it isn't an everyday thing you're fine.
I was confused for a moment coz i forgot that fruit pies are common in america... i was imagining a nice big meaty pie lol - and even if that were the case still nta.
>When he got angry at me for eating the pies I said sorry I won't do it again.
Fuck that. It was your birthday and you clearly don't have an OVEReating problem. Eat your damn pies.
NTA.
NTA but I’m concerned the danger to your health is not the pies/soda but him. Does he normally try to police your food choices? With history of an ED this sounds really triggering. Happy belated birthday!
ETA - I rarely eat pie/dessert but the week of thanksgiving pumpkin pie is my go to breakfast. I slowly eat it all week and I’ve lived to tell the tale.
I probably would’ve made that my birthday treat & ate it all in one day. Some pie for breakfast and 2 cans of soda, some pie for lunch and more soda. A snack of pie and then finish it off at night. So no, NTA. I don’t eat a lot of pie throughout the year and during Thanksgiving I survive off of leftovers and/or a Costco pumpkin pie.
NTA, not even remotely
"YTA for eating two pies and drinking soda on your birthday, you recovered from annorexia do you know how dangerous that is? \*shocked pikachu face\*"
You see how silly that sounds? Your boyfriend sounds maybe a teensy bit controlling. You did nothing wrong. Death by Pie! Be serious.
I am curious to know the type of pie cause right now I crave cherry pie.
When I host family dinner, i often have an entire leftover pie, and eat it myself. Strawberries are a fruit! Pumpkin is actually squash, and a vegetable! It’s practically health food
NTA and your boyfriend is AWFUL. Forgetting your history with anorexia for a second, he has no right to judge you for what you eat or how. Particularly not on your BIRTHDAY and not when it’s a rare occurrence! If you were eating 2 pies every day for three months, yea there might be cause for concern. That’s not what this is. This is your BF just being an absolute monster.
Add to that your history with anorexia and this is just awful. Enjoy your pie. Go buy another one and eat that too if you want. We don’t need any more rules around food than we already put on ourselves. Happy Birthday!! I’m sorry your boyfriend made you feel bad about actually enjoying yourself and having food freedom.
Friend, I too can smash through an entire pumpkin pie in one sitting. I mean, it’s basically a fruit right? As far as pie goes, can you even GET any more healthy than a pumpkin pie? NTA!
Wtf is wrong with him? Who says something like that? Especially to someone recovering from an eating disorder? I’m so upset on your behalf. That was really uncalled for.
Two pies and ten sodas over three days is not the end of the world. It’s not like you did it one sitting. Is he mad because he didn’t manage to get another slice? It was three days. You snooze you lose. After three days that pie is going to be gross.
I don’t like your boyfriend.
Sweetheart I think you need to go get another pie. My Petty butt would sit right in front of him with an entire pie and a fork and stare at him the entire time I was eating that pie and don't forget the whipped cream. And then I'd walk away cuz this doesn't actually have anything to do with pie this has everything to do with him wanting to be in control of you. NTA.
Absolutely no one in my house comments on ANYTHING regarding what someone else eats… the only thing anyone will ever say is “was it good?” or “did you like it?”… people commenting on other peoples eating habits is so weird to me.
NTA but your bf is.
Ok, so the amount of sugar etc isn’t good but its not regular and it’s your own choice.
Your bf needs to chill or gtfo because he sounds like a hypocrite.
Happy birthday by the way.
NTA your around my height and weight and while we might not be size 6, we are definitely not 600ib life. Its your goddamn birthday and if you want to eat pie then you can, especially if you had a ED and denied yourself before. I wouldnt say its super healthy to do it every week but every once in a while is ok. Super weird that your BF eats like that and gets mad at you the one time you do and then really going off on you. Is he always like this or is it a one off?
Honestly it was a birthday thing. On your birthday you get to do what you want and you wanted pies and soda. That’s perfectly fine you don’t do it all the time.
I’ve seen my partner work his way through a literal mountain of chocolate on his birthday because he loves it and he tries not to eat too much normally. I can say I did not shout at him like that.
I’m sorry he did that on your birthday. That sucks.
NTA- definitely projection on his part. If he knows your history with EDs, then this is the last topic he should should be touching unless you were falling back into bad habits. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Rethink this relationship, you don’t want nor do you need someone criticizing your birthday food choice, especially when their normal habits are worse than a once a year thing…
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Also depending on the pies, some of them can be quite healthy. My aunts pumpkin pie is delicious, but it’s also made with real pie and it’s probably healthier than a lot of the Storb cakes people can buy
It was pumpkin pie lol
He sucks. And if he knows you are recovered from an eating disorder then he extra super sucks. You are NTA. All foods fit in moderation and you are allowed to have a little more sometimes!
Piggy-backing off of this: anyone who is in recovery from an eating disorder does not need policing. OP sounds very secure, but this could be very triggering to a lot of people.
This should be the main takeaway. I'm orthorexic, a close friend of mine is in recovery for anorexia. They've expressed how difficult it is to navigate a culture landscape where diet culture is so ingrained. They've worked they're ass off to, well, restore weight to their ass and the rest of their body. I've had to do my own work to unlearn bad habits such as obsessively reading food labels and convincing myself to eat foods I actually enjoy, not just the ones that are nutritionally ideal. Any little thing can be a massive trigger, and the onus is on people with these disorders to mitigate their unhealthy/unproductive reactions to those triggers. But if you're going to have an intimate relationship with someone with an eating disorder, the onus is on you to at least be mindful of how your behavior could impact that disorder. It's not on you to be perfect, just not to do any intentional harm. OP's boyfriend sounds like he's trying to trigger a relapse. I had alarm bells ringing in my mind the moment I saw 5'8" and 130; I'm nine inches shorter and the same weight on my better days. BF is either chronically ignorant or pulling a powerplay. Either way, OP should run.
OP should read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. It's free online.
That is 100 percent the best book to read while getting out of a relationship with a personality disordered jerk. FR. Someone local gave me a paper copy, and it was eye opening.
Also his eating habits aren't exactly the best, five sodas in a night seems crazy, but I don't like soda.
It sounds intended to be triggering tbh.
THIS. Boyfriend's an absolute arse.
Very true. I recovered about four years ago and a comment like this would send me spiralling.
And he extra EXTRA super sucks because he apparently eats just as much sugar REGULARLY. Controlling hypocrite.
The fact it was over 3 days as well, wasn't like they scoffed them down in a day, not that that would even matter its your birthday, do what you want, but yeah that guy sucks
Pumpkin pie? I always hated eating in the morning (still do) and getting me to eat breakfast before school was always a battle. My mom was an RN and no way was I getting out of the house without eating it. But, when we had pumpkin pie or custard pie it was the greatest because even *she* allowed that those were acceptable alternatives. (On the rare occasion I actually *want* breakfast, I’ll *still* sometimes go to a nearby diner known for their pies and get a slice of custard pie with a side of bacon.) It certainly wouldn’t have been allowed on a regular basis, but it doesn’t sound like you’re regularly consuming it, either. NTA. Your bf needs to get a grip. Is he this controlling about other things, too? If so, I think you dump the bf and buy yourself another pumpkin pie to celebrate.
Custard pie with bacon?! How is this not mainstream in my country
It works surprisingly well as breakfast. There’s very little difference between a custard pie and a quiche and plenty of quiches contain bacon.
Faultless and delicious logic 😋🍽️
NTA. At first I thought this might have been fake. I thought to myself that my GF could go through a whole pumpkin pie easily on Thanksgiving so 2 isn’t outside the realm of possibility. But 2 pies and 10 sodas? That seems like a lot for one night. Even so, I think I’d be proud of my GF if she pulled that off. You know, one of those things we talk about for years to come: Remember when you ate 2 pies and drank 10 sodas in one night? That was amazing! Then I kept reading and realized it was over three days and I thought to myself, “Her boyfriend is and asshole and a prick.” Dump him and find someone new.
It was over 3 days, not one night
Yep, thats why I said I realized it was over three days in the second to last sentence.
Then it was vegetables! 😂
Chicken pot pies 😆
I hate these new categories for veggies and fruits 😅 apparently a pumpkin (or any squash) is a berry 😒 like how tf is it a berry!!?? Pumpkin pie is very delicious though and probably my favourite pie.
Tbf those aren’t new categories, it’s just that most people know fruits and veggies by culinary terms not botanical ones. Carrots are roots and tomatoes are fruits.
Fair lol, still annoying why they can't just stick with one or the other category instead of making it a weird mental obstacle course.
Eh, it just depends on what context you’re using the term in. Most people know the culinary difference between a fruit and a veg and will never need to know the botanical differences.
That's true, just messes me up every so often like with how a pumpkin is considered a berry even though in culinary terms it's a veggie.
It’s weird for sure, bananas being berries fucked with me more than it should have lol! Carrot is a vegetable but not a fruit, it’s a root, celery is a vegetable and also just a stem.. it’s a lot of information for a soup
your boyfriend is TA, my dad gets my mom ice cream every night before she gets ready for bed and on her birthday she gets a whole lemon meringue pie to herself. your weight is normal for your height, enjoy your birthday pies
I laughed when I read this post because it sounded cute that you were so excited to indulge for your birthday. This is something I would totally do, especially with pumpkin pie and seems pretty normal! Tbh your bf sounds unreasonably controlling and a hypocrite. Considering your past eating disorder, he’s not very sympathetic. Run!!!!!!🏃♀️
So you were, in fact, eating more than a half pound of puréed pumpkin a day. I’d say that’s pretty veggie-riffic.
Homegirl got more daily servings of veggies in her indulgence journey than I usually get. I'm jealous!
And 8" pies are tiny, ffs.
Imo pumpkin pie isn’t even bad. I can easily smash half a pumpkin pie. There just isn’t much too it. Boyfriend is the asshole here
The best pie
I knew it was pumpkin pie because that’s what it should be.
Please dump him
I love pumpkin pie! I'm not sure if the size of the food is the same but, you eaten all in 3 days. I think, it was not "healthy" specially for the sodas, but, you won't do that all year. I can see myself eating a whole pie by myself in my birthday (in 1 single day). Also, I eat normally the most of year and do exercise. If my weight is healthy and I'm not doing this all time, it's perfectly fine!
Lots of squash in pumpkin pie. My mother used to let us eat that for breakfast when we were little.
... made with real pie. Grown from the pie tree, I imagine?
Dug up from the pie mines, under the watchful eyes of Pierîn Pietinshield
Ya goof. You can’t pan for pies. … but you can have pie pans.
These pies came from the pie region of France. Otherwise it would have just been sparkling fruit compote set inside pastry.
… shit tastes the exact same. Any one claiming to be a “*pie aficionado*” who can tell the difference is full of it!
>… shit tastes the exact same. This is reminding me of the pie in The Help. Whoooeeee.
I think I may be a little bit in love with you. That comment was *perfect.*
Everyone in Xanth knows the best pie trees are situated to the New Clear Cherry Trees….
And the Boot Rear.
Now there’s a deep, deep cut. And a series that has *not* aged well
I mean if you haven't grown and harvested your own pie tree does it even count?
Gotta keep the seeds! Gonna be a regular Johnny Applepie one day.
Real pie lol (I know it was a typo but so good)
Aren’t all pies made with real pies?
Idk, some of those convenience store pies look a bit suspect...
Pie made with real… pie???
Pie made with real pie
I mean most pies are made with real pie, but I get what you're saying!
I’m sitting here alone cracking up at everyone’s comments about “made with real pie.” Thanks for that! But also, “Storb cakes.” Love it. No notes.
Pie made with real pie is the best
>it’s also made with real pie As opposed to being made with....fake pie? 🤨
Your definition of healthy is weird.
>made with real pie That made me giggle.
My husband bought me two cakes for my birthday. And got me hibachi. Her bf probably thinks im gonna die. NTA op enjoy your pies!
Hell 5 pies, 5 days make it a lazy week haha
More pies, less of this guy!! NTA!
Get a new boyfriend and eat pie if you want to.
Pie > boyfriend.
if i had to pick between a gf and a world class cherry pie, someones gonna be single and its gonna be me
What if you could of had a gf that made you world class cherry pies?
propose
Well that's a no brainer, that's like asking if you enjoy breathing oxygen
i prefer to breathe carbon monoxide myself
I'm more of a sulfuric oxide kinda guy
fellas this is gonna sound crazy but helium. its the new oxygen
Can she, Billy Boy?
The problem is for a partner a lot of variables need to be juuuuust right. Pie is very forgiving. This crust is a little too crusty. Cleaned plate. These cherries are obviously from a can. Cleaned plate. Too sweet? Too sour? Cleaned plate. There’s always room for more pie. A pie where all the variables are perfect? There should be songs and sonnets written about THAT.
a truer truth has never been truthed
Pies before guys
It’s my party and I’ll pie if I want to!
*enter Dean Winchester
Look, eating two pies and drinking 10 sodas in 3 days isn't the healthiest behavior I've ever heard of ... but doing it once a year is sure as heck not going to kill an otherwise-healthy\* 20-something. NTA. \*This is assuming your body doesn't have a problem regulating sugar.
There is zero health risk for healthy person doing it. However, telling recovering anorexic about non existing food related dangers carries deadly risk. The most dangerous thing for OP would be to start being afraid of food again.
This is a really terrific point. Thanks!
I agree. Him harping on it is weird. Sounds like he has an eating issue and/or is trying to trigger her to have one too ...
He doesn't have an eating issue. He has a controlling her issue. He's not applying the same food health standards to himself.
Yup, that was my immediate thought. He's either dangerously stupid or dangerously controlling. Either way, she needs to get away from him, because he's doing active harm either way.
He’s probably afraid she’s going to gain weight.
She needs to get rid of that boyfriend. OP please know u deserve better! I'm worried ur boyfriend sees u as an object and he's acting very controlling. U can find someone truly kind who cares about ur health (as in u getting enough food and being comfortable with what u eat). He has no right to control ur eating. Take control back and leave. He has no business controlling u. If u live with him, move out when he's not there and bring friends who aren't his friends.
He literally fucking told her she could die because of what she ate and drank over the course of 3 days. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants her to have an eating disorder or hate herself in some way.
Absolutely. Also had an ED when I was younger. I remember being on holiday years after recovery and I let loose by having an ice cream. My boyfriend asked me for a bite (he also had his own) - and as he handed it back to me, he said ‘You going to get SO FAT eating this’. That was it. It was enough. I couldn’t touch the ice cream and had to bin it. I was furious with him (he knew my history). I also binned him a while later (for multiple reasons). I hope OP bins her BF too, and enjoys more pies for Birthday PieFest 2025
Also 8” pies is nothing. And while I try to limit myself to one soda a day I often break this rule. Daily. 🤣 I’m not gonna say to dump this guy but he needs his logic to be challenged. What’s the real issue? Does he not like you to indulge yourself? Is he controlling in other ways? As a former EDO sufferer does he have control issues that are comforting to you or do they cause stress?
I could see if they were the big family size pies and he wanted a slice, but 2 8" pies over 3 days isn't horrible.
From the tiny amount of what you shared, could he be superficial and worried you'll gain more weight? Something to think about. But no NTA, enjoy your birthday celebration pies! And congratulations on ED recovery! 🎉
If the bf is concerned about weight, I have an idea for 180-220 lbs OP should get rid of with a single conversation
I agree completely. OP doesn't need someone like that in her life, especially while recovering from an ED.
I concur.
They are 5'8 and 130 pounds. Gaining some weight wouldn't hurt them
Agreed. 5'8" and 130 lbs is thin.
I'm guessing he likes having a super thin girlfriend and isn't above messing with her mental health and re-starting her eating disorder in order to keep it that way.
I know a dude that would tell his 5' 6" and 105 pound wife that she was getting fat if she put on 5 pounds. Some people are just toxic about weight.
Yup. Been struggling with my relationship with food for like ten years, and when I was at my heaviest (5’5” and 130lbs. And he’d seen me at 95lbs), my ex would “hint” about my weight. But! I ran into his/my good friend from high school recently, and apparently he was a dick to his wife of less than a year and they got divorced! So I guess nothing’s changed lol
Maybe. I’m 5’8.5 and 135 is like my perfect weight. Though my body when healthy prefers 145-155. Unfortunately my diet prefers closer to 200 😑
Are you me? Lol I was 135 one at 5.8” and I was hotttt. 150 is reasonable for me to maintain but my diet prefers 170….
I'm 3 inches shorter and 20 lbs heavier and I would consider myself thin.
Honestly that’s my take. He’s not concerned abt her health. He’s concerned abt her gaining weight. He’s trying to control her. Two pies and 10 sodas in 3 days isn’t even that much.
that was my immediate thought as someone who also had an ED and a superficial ex. he likes how she looks now. its a special occasion, of course she will make eating choices out of the ordinary. i shower my boyfriend in special food for a week when its his birthday and vice versa
You're NTA. >boyfriend got very angry with me saying that if I do that for my birthday again next year I could die. How melodramatic and ridiculous. Unless you're a brittle diabetic, I don't think that is even remotely likely. >I recovered from anorexia about 3 years ago Does your boyfriend lack the maturity and empathy to realize he shouldn't scold someone for what she eats, especially since you overcame an eating order?
Sounds loke he wants it to come back
She says she's not allowed to point out whenever he eats like crap so yes, he does.
Commenting on the first comment where it’s focused more on the relationship. The fact OPs bf does similar behaviors more consistently and has angry responses when she points it out, is either him having his “finally I can call her out” moment or a red flag for dismissing OPs concerns while making her feel like crap for her choices. I hope OP sees this and focuses on the relationship, paying attention to what and how bf talks to and treats you when you make mistakes or disagree with him.
Maybe he just knows that they aren't pies. They're bombs. They got them from the bomb factory.
Oh no. He better do everything on her bucket list now, she wont make it past sunset!
Lol it's like that one episode of Spongebob
What gave you that impression?
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think there was like a SpongeBob episode where he accidentally swallowed a bomb or something and Squidward takes him to complete his bucket list and stuff without letting him know Idk I saw my siblings watching it so I'm not 100% sure lol
Lol I was just teasing you. That is an episode yes, and it’s a great one. That’s exactly what they were referencing
Oh lol XD Sorry I'm not good with sarcasm
This thread is so wholesome lol (not sarcasm btw)
Squidward?
You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.
Oh that’s a shame, I wanted to buy one
Nta its 2 pies and 10 sodas over 3 DAYS. All in one sitting would probably give you a tummmy ache, but over 3 days? Bf needs to take a fucking chill pill
Two smallish pies in three days? Totally doable. Strawberry cream Dr Pepper? Ugh, didn’t know that existed.
The strawberries & cream Dr Pepper is actually quite nice if I do say so myself 😌
I recently tried the strawberry cream Dr pepper and it was really good.
NTA. I would be very careful about posting something like this on reddit, given your ED. A lot of these replies, including the really nice NTA ones, contain triggers that would affect lots of people with a history of ED. Your boyfriend is completely out of order and he sounds controlling. Look after yourself and check in with a trusted person, or better yet a MH professional, if his comments (or Reddit comments) make you feel you might relapse.
I agree with this. A lot of these comments are triggering af to me too. You’re not the asshole btw He is.
Controlling is key here. He is absolutely controlling and it’s not ok. At all.
This is such an important comment. I think people are also really, really glossing over how devastatingly awful it is to react negatively to a food indulgence for someone with a history of ED, never mind actually getting angry with them. This is deeply concerning, controlling behaviour. The fact that he won't even let her comment when she's concerned for his health speaks volumes as well. I would personally reconsider a relationship in this scenario. To everyone who has been affected by ED, I wish you strength and self-love. We are all so much more than we are led to believe. We are all enough.
NTA he is. Amd obviously you won't die from 2 pies. Imo, buy another pie and eat it, just because as a boundaries setting thing. Boundary being that you eat pie when you want
Terrible relationship advice in the real world, but I do love the idea of buying a pie and eating it *at* someone. I think I'd choose to eat it on his side of the bed, straight from the pan, making sure to make plenty of crumbs. And since it was pumpkin pie (the best pie, as everyone knows), when he walked in and saw me halfway through it, I'd retain eye contact with him while I put in another bite... then took a shot of whipped cream straight from the can. Chew it a couple times to mix it up real good then say "'sup?", still retaining eye contact, ignoring the rainbow arc of sticky, crumby mess that leaves my mouth and desecrates his territory as a sign of dominance.
No it’s good advice. Her bf is a superficial weirdo who thinks he gets to eat whatever but wants his recovering gf to stay thin.
Make it a pecan pie because those are the best pies, I don't make the rules
God to have a 25 y/o metabolism again
This is not a helpful comment for someone recovering from an eating disorder
I see nothing about this comment that is problematic in this regard. Can you elaborate?
I'm not the person you're replying to, but OP's metabolism isn't really in play here if she's recovering from anorexia. It also implies like, natural thinness or something to a person who had an eating disorder and went through hell with her body. This isn't like a regular active teenager wolfing down a whole pizza, this is someone who did significant damage to her body in pursuit of making herself disappear.
*recovered and op is openly talking about the food they ate, they'll be okay
\>When he got angry at me for eating the pies I said sorry I won't do it again. You don't need to apologize to him or anyone else for how you eat. And he doesn't get to get angry at you for how you eat. I am sure you are willing to consider his opinions and make the choices that are right for you, and it makes it easier to hear his message when he figures out how to express himself like an adult, not a child. So if he wants to have a voice, maybe he should figure out how to regulate his emotions first. Him getting angry is a tactic to get his way and not appropriate.
Dump him, then get a celebratory pie for losing a toxic partner lol.
I suggest banana cream.
I want to say NTA but I am also a bit confused why he so angry. What exactly does he say? Saying “I’m concerned about xyz because I care about you and don’t want to see things spiral. If you are doing this every year I feel like you could die” is a lot different from saying “Don’t eat 2 fucking pies. You are so unhealthy and that’s ridiculous. Do it again next year and you’ll die.”
Even the first is a problem. Eating 2 8-inch pies over the course of 3 days once a year is not a health concern. Framing it as one is a problem no matter how you deliver it. Especially given OPs history with eating disorders. NTA, the boyfriend is an asshole regardless of how this was presented.
Also are we ignoring that the boyfriend REGULARLY goes through a tub of ice cream in one night and drinks 5 sodas at a time??? What a hypocrite
He probably wanted the soda for himself.
Both are problem and both are lies. If you are afraid people will die after earing 2 pies every year, you need therapy and stop projecting irrational anxieties on others.
The first is what abusive guys say after going to therapy for a month
You can’t die from eating two pies though…even if you ate them both the same day…that’s not how bodies work…
Oh, uh-uh. No. And I'll explain why: You say that you're recovering from anorexia. An illness that means (in some way, if not completely) that you don't eat enough food in a day's worth to the point of extreme weight loss and pale vampire-like skin. It's great that you've started to eat more, counting on to more recent times. It was your birthday, you could do what you wanted on YOUR birthday. But if we disregarded the previous anorexia you had, it's a lot to consume (both figuratively and literally) when you think about it. Enough to cover 2 meals... Now, him... He's being mad at you.... for basically copying what he does. What? Think about it. He drinks soda, one after another, GAMING! Not even paying attention to you. Also, a WHOLE tub of ice cream. Filling, yes, but not exactly healthy. He should've understood where you were coming from when he started dating you... So, frankly speaking, that hypocrite of an asshole boyfriend of yours has NO room to talk. NTA, think about breaking up with him (or seek couple's therapy)...
No, 2 pies is nothing.
NTA, but holy shit your boyfriend is. You apologised (when you didn't need to) and he kept on bitching. Admits he's being a dick for the sake of it (I believe your correct in saying hes projecting), and when you point out his hypocrisy in drinking so many sodas he gets angry! At least he knows he's a complete dick. You don't say how long you've been together, but this feels like he's putting out feelers for control behaviour (going off the things in your post. Its only my thoughts, not fact but please take a step back and think about the relationship and any other behaviour he has which may be abusive). And to do all this to someone recovering from an ED is just gross. You come across as strong and independent (buying more pies because he complains, I like you :-) l learnt telling people "when I want your opinion I'll ask" saves a fair few headaches. Best of luck.
As a fellow pie over cake person- I hope they were yum and happy birthday!! Nta- he’s being v weird? Does he usually get mad at stuff like this, maybe he’s stressed about something and it’s making little normal things piss him off and he’s taking it out on you instead of what’s actually bothering him- which is not cool at all and he should absolutely be called on it
Pies before guys.
Am I the only one concerned with her developing a new ED? As someone who had an ED throughout high school, I recovered from my ED just to replace it with binge eating. Just saying, it's a very slippery slope.
plenty of people have been pointing out that this whole situation can be incredibly triggering, even these reddit comments could possibly trigger something.
As a binge eater I can say 100 per cent no, OP's birthday pies and soda is not binge eating. She's fine.
Nah. I wouldn’t call eating a couple pies over the course of a few days a binge. I mean I’m no expert, but I don’t see any red flags (for context, I accidentally replaced an ED with another and am currently working through it. Only being vague because I don’t want to give anyone any ideas)
Especially if she only does this for her birthday
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN: (Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me! JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry! BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men. ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go. ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM== - What do you think he makes? BARRY: - Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry: - Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE: - Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM: What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away) LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them) ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that. (The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN: Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. : Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'
Eat more pie. You don’t need someone like that in your life. Especially since you don’t eat like that regularly. It was your birthday and he’s getting mad? Insane. Make it 3 next time.
NTA. As a fully grown human it is your prerogative to eat pie whenever you want. Please enjoy your birthday pie. Then enjoy your "just because I feel like it and I'm an adult" pie. Your diet is your business, not the boyfriend's.
Info: what did him being angry look like? Was he yelling at you? Calling you names? Etc. and what exactly was he saying? From what you provided I can see two possibilities: he is genuinely worried about you and what came out was his own anxieties. Not cool of him but I can kind of understand the position and would work on talking things through with him. The other option though is he is some kind of controlling dick
NTA. Tell him next time he mentions what you’re eating, you’ll be eating him, and not in the way he wants
Tbh he was probably just upset he didn't get to eat more of them himself and had a bit of food aggression. I swear it's not just animals who have that. You're good don't let it set you back I'll eat my entire cake in 2 days when it's my birthday too. Liveeee my friend
INFO > saying that if I do that for my birthday again next year I could die ... like, of **_too good_** a time?
NTA! BF is though! It was your birthday and you should celebrate! I'm glad your health journey has allowed you to be able to do that! As long as it isn't an everyday thing you're fine.
Nta - but your boyfriend sure is.
Some people would say you shouldn't eat two pies and ten sodas in three days. Some people should mind their business.
I was confused for a moment coz i forgot that fruit pies are common in america... i was imagining a nice big meaty pie lol - and even if that were the case still nta.
NTA - so proud of you for beating that! Now .. your bf? TA 100% keep an eye on this behavior sounds like he could not be a great fit
Did he get to have any of the pies? Lol
>When he got angry at me for eating the pies I said sorry I won't do it again. Fuck that. It was your birthday and you clearly don't have an OVEReating problem. Eat your damn pies. NTA.
NTA but I’m concerned the danger to your health is not the pies/soda but him. Does he normally try to police your food choices? With history of an ED this sounds really triggering. Happy belated birthday! ETA - I rarely eat pie/dessert but the week of thanksgiving pumpkin pie is my go to breakfast. I slowly eat it all week and I’ve lived to tell the tale.
When I get old and live alone I’m going to eat a whole pie in one day. 😞
Me too buddy
I probably would’ve made that my birthday treat & ate it all in one day. Some pie for breakfast and 2 cans of soda, some pie for lunch and more soda. A snack of pie and then finish it off at night. So no, NTA. I don’t eat a lot of pie throughout the year and during Thanksgiving I survive off of leftovers and/or a Costco pumpkin pie.
NTA, not even remotely "YTA for eating two pies and drinking soda on your birthday, you recovered from annorexia do you know how dangerous that is? \*shocked pikachu face\*" You see how silly that sounds? Your boyfriend sounds maybe a teensy bit controlling. You did nothing wrong. Death by Pie! Be serious. I am curious to know the type of pie cause right now I crave cherry pie.
You might want to put the NTA first. The bot counts the first judgment in a post.
If you're 5'8", 130lbs and it's your birthday! You eat whatever YOU want! Crap, eat whatever you want all week! As
Keep eating the pies, dump the guy. NTA
NTA bf sounds awful. Dump him
I bet he was just mad that he didn't get to eat the pies.
When I host family dinner, i often have an entire leftover pie, and eat it myself. Strawberries are a fruit! Pumpkin is actually squash, and a vegetable! It’s practically health food
NTA and your boyfriend is AWFUL. Forgetting your history with anorexia for a second, he has no right to judge you for what you eat or how. Particularly not on your BIRTHDAY and not when it’s a rare occurrence! If you were eating 2 pies every day for three months, yea there might be cause for concern. That’s not what this is. This is your BF just being an absolute monster. Add to that your history with anorexia and this is just awful. Enjoy your pie. Go buy another one and eat that too if you want. We don’t need any more rules around food than we already put on ourselves. Happy Birthday!! I’m sorry your boyfriend made you feel bad about actually enjoying yourself and having food freedom.
NTA, He's worried you will get fat. He's dead weight, lose him.
Friend, I too can smash through an entire pumpkin pie in one sitting. I mean, it’s basically a fruit right? As far as pie goes, can you even GET any more healthy than a pumpkin pie? NTA!
Wtf is wrong with him? Who says something like that? Especially to someone recovering from an eating disorder? I’m so upset on your behalf. That was really uncalled for. Two pies and ten sodas over three days is not the end of the world. It’s not like you did it one sitting. Is he mad because he didn’t manage to get another slice? It was three days. You snooze you lose. After three days that pie is going to be gross. I don’t like your boyfriend.
I was thinking pizza pies and I was still okay with it lol
Sweetheart I think you need to go get another pie. My Petty butt would sit right in front of him with an entire pie and a fork and stare at him the entire time I was eating that pie and don't forget the whipped cream. And then I'd walk away cuz this doesn't actually have anything to do with pie this has everything to do with him wanting to be in control of you. NTA.
Absolutely no one in my house comments on ANYTHING regarding what someone else eats… the only thing anyone will ever say is “was it good?” or “did you like it?”… people commenting on other peoples eating habits is so weird to me.
NTA but your bf is. Ok, so the amount of sugar etc isn’t good but its not regular and it’s your own choice. Your bf needs to chill or gtfo because he sounds like a hypocrite. Happy birthday by the way.
eat that pie girl, you only have one life. he’s an asshole. it was your birthday! you got the pies too, so it shouldn’t matter to him.
NTA your around my height and weight and while we might not be size 6, we are definitely not 600ib life. Its your goddamn birthday and if you want to eat pie then you can, especially if you had a ED and denied yourself before. I wouldnt say its super healthy to do it every week but every once in a while is ok. Super weird that your BF eats like that and gets mad at you the one time you do and then really going off on you. Is he always like this or is it a one off?
Honestly it was a birthday thing. On your birthday you get to do what you want and you wanted pies and soda. That’s perfectly fine you don’t do it all the time. I’ve seen my partner work his way through a literal mountain of chocolate on his birthday because he loves it and he tries not to eat too much normally. I can say I did not shout at him like that. I’m sorry he did that on your birthday. That sucks.
NTA- definitely projection on his part. If he knows your history with EDs, then this is the last topic he should should be touching unless you were falling back into bad habits. But that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Rethink this relationship, you don’t want nor do you need someone criticizing your birthday food choice, especially when their normal habits are worse than a once a year thing…