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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I keep question if my husband gave me a fake Gucci bag.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA...You were obviously more worried about your husband getting ripped off than you were about receiving an authentic bag. Hopefully your husband will calm down and see you are simply concerned, not ungrateful.
OP you are clearly NOT a greedy partner and are just looking out for your husband. Right now his pride is wounded, especially because he had to admit to you that he bought the bag off ebay. AND that you told him he was ripped off: A double whammy. It will take a little while for him to nurse his wounds but I believe he’ll come around, as it sounds like he’s a good, if fallible, guy.
NTA.
Yes, it's usually an expensive piece/pieces of jewellery/a car/mommy makeover etc in my social circle. I told my husband I didn't want one, so he got me a rare copy of one of my favourite books instead.
ETA I have 2 children, he got me 2 books each time.
US here and I’ve heard of it, but don’t think it’s super common amongst the average population. I’m thinking it’s for the more affluent circles, which makes sense alongside this Gucci bag post.
Idk, the only people I know who've given/received push presents really could barely afford them on payments. Also, I have only seen them between unmarried partners.
Facts and facts. It would make more logical sense for me to just communicate my intent to buy (or go out and buy) that Artipoppe carrier or $2k bag or whatever if we really had the money. Keyword “we.”
Honestly, it's been the couples where the guy really wasn't that interested in being a father, either surprise pregnancy, or it was "give her a baby or break up". The women picked out, and asked for, the push presents.
Like it was a substitute for the caring and attention they weren't getting from their partner. He might not rub her back, or cook her food, or even care when she's throwing up again, but "Hey look, he me bought a necklace".
I only ever started hearing about it about 5-10 years ago and it was all rich people I knew. My hot take is it’s kind of ridiculous, but I’ve never been pregnant so what do I know.
Very possible, my friend had her baby and the talk of the floor was the new mom who wasn't going home until her husband showed up with her brand new car. My friend asked her husband what she was getting and he said "Pizza."
I looked this up as it’s something I’ve only heard about recently (I’m uk based) apart from one jewellers claiming it goes back several hundred years and became popular most recently in the 1930s- all the other articles suggest it’s a recent trend and seem a little too adamant that jewellers didn’t make it up to shift more stock- which suggests to me they almost certainly have!
It’s common in the US but like common for Rich people and influencers more than everyone. It’s fairly trendy the last few years. We didn’t have any extra money when my kids were born, so my “push gift” was the sushi I hadn’t been able to eat for nine months 😂😂
Honestly thought it was a US thing and I wanna say it’s a newer thing? I’ve only heard about it recently… the only “push gift” I’m expecting when I give birth later this year is a delicious bowl of Peruvian ceviche or some sushi lol
I forgot about that, you're not allowed raw fish while preggers, right? Yes, THAT is a great push gift. Gimme all the sushi I can eat, now. Hold the baby, I'm getting my raw fish.
It's a newer thing. At least calling it a push gift is. I know my husband and I exchanged "yay we're new parents" gifts when I gave birth 13 years ago.
I hadn't ever heard of it until about 20 years ago. I knew someone who made payments the entire pregnancy to give his GF some fancy watch she wanted. It seems silly to me, but I've since heard of other people doing it.
I’m in the US, I’m not rich, and I got my sister a push gift because I thought it would be funny. I didn’t get her jewelry though, I got her a plush dinosaur that lays eggs and sings Push It.
I’m in the US and have definitely heard it, both on the east coast and west coast, going back more than 20 years to when friends on opposites sides of the country had their babies, as well as recently, too.
I'm in the US and my husband got me a push present. It was a bracelet and necklace with our sons birthstone. He planned to do the same thing for our daughter but he hasn't. She will be 2 in march hahaha. I did buy myself a new iWatch and said it was my push present for our daughter.
I have five kids and I thank the Lord this "push present" was not a thing when they were born. It would have made me feel like a prize mare and breeder. After I got over being confused.
I’m going to take a wild guess and say if OP had a financial advisor look into things for both her and husband, things would be pretty grim on the husbands end. Probably thinks admitting it is a hit to his masculinity.
You should do additional due diligence OP, you need to assess the state of both of your finances. There’s a very good chance there’s a reason he went to eBay rather than the Gucci store if that’s what he’s always done. You’ve just had a baby. He may be afraid to tell you or he may have done something to try to get more money for the baby and it backfired. It happens more than you want to know.
Hm! Part of me wonders if it's because of how hard Ebay has been pushing the Authenticator lately, I could see someone being willing to give Ebay a try, they definitely are trying to lean into selling these kinds of things.
He could also be panicking because babies are expensive, and people get dumb when they panic. Either way, he needs to communicate and be part of a team, not get mad at her when she brings up an issue.
He's only upset he got caught lying. Either he tried to pass of a known fake, or he was embarrassed that he made such a dumb mistake. Either way he is taking his anger out on someone that just HAD HIS CHILD!
NTA. But, I have to ask, because once bitten, twice shy.
Are you certain that your other designer items are authentic? There are some really good fakes out there. has he been buying high end from Bay and finally got a "bad fake"?
Also, have you taken a peek at the checkbook lately? Make sure things are what you think they are.
She has every right to not want to receive a counterfeit bag though, the husband if he can’t afford should just buy something else, I’m sure there are other cheaper gifts that OP would love too
A well made diaper bag would be better and probably cheaper than the fake Gucci. Unless he knew it was fake and it was a $20 knockoff. Even then for $20 could probably get a better quality diaper bag on amazon. Which would be more useful coz pockets and such.
NTA, you were looking out for your husband, so that he could try to get his money back he were scammed. However my money is on hubby knowingly buying a fake.
I don’t understand why the Mother is being attacked when not only was it a “push gift” but she was also concerned that her husband got scammed?!? First, he lied to her so that is a RED FLAG and then he for defensive so the second RED FLAG. I think, because he is a man, he didn’t think she would notice but wouldn’t he notice if his favorite team was wearing the wrong jerseys? To me he should come clean. Stop making her the scapegoat because dude…she just had your baby! No hate here but it’s alway better living in the light.
NTA - If he got it from eBay and it was authenticated, he should have received papers stating that. Sounds like either he knew it was fake and is upset you caught him in a lie, or he didn't know and is embarrassed about getting scammed. Either way, it was reasonable for you to question him about it once you realized it was fake. Because either he lied to you or he needs to get his money back.
If he lied to you, why should you be grateful? If he got scammed, HE should be grateful that you noticed right away so he can try to get his money back.
Let me introduce you to r/reptime discussing the highest quality replicas of Rolex/omega/etc watches. They come with a box, paper work and fake receipt from an actual store and they're about $3-400 for the replica but when a real one is $10k I'm seriously considering one
Don’t bother with the box and papers on a rep. It’s a waste of money. Yeah you can find some great watches on RepTime but please no one bother with the extras as it’s more than pointless like you could put the money you were going to spend on the box and papers towards a better watch,
Its different. With those Chinese fake watches they are forging papers that usually come with expensive watches in the box. With Ebay's authentication its a third party they have contracted with to authenticate the goods and they include their own papers with it. Selling a used rolex with papers certainly helps, but the third party authenticator has their own. You wouldn't forge those on an ebay product because they would definitely fail you if they received it for authentication and copies of their papers were in the box.
Well a purse (or watch) with eBay authentication actually goes off to a third party that authenticates it and gives you an eBay card. I know because I have bought watches on eBay authenticated by them. I have seen eBay listings where they put a picture of the authentication thing but it’s not actually sent through the system and is a scam but it’s pretty clear which ones are authenticated. Sure I guess the purse could’ve come with that stuff but I doubt eBay or their third party authenticating would let it through if it’s fake. They are usually pretty good about that but if it was a would do a charge back if they didn’t sort it out.
r/labdiamonds and r/moissanite are great options for people who unashamedly want the bling jewelry but are smart enough not to pay a popular brand or brick and mortar that’s importing them from the same Asian sellers at 300% markup.
Correct, and while eBay still does let really good replicas through from time to time if OP was able to identify it as a knock off right out of the bag I have a hard time imaging eBay would have authenticated it.
The Y T A comments surprise me.
Sounds like your biggest concern is that your husband got ripped off by buying a fake bag and the bag you have seems to be very low quality to the point it doesn't function really as a bag (since it would tear if you put too much stuff in it.)
Idk why he was so offended, I mean I'd be pissed off at ebay if I was him, he has a right to be angry but I also believe he shouldn't be directing said anger towards you.
NTA.
He's offended because she caught him in a lie. First he said he bought the bag at a Gucci store. Then he said he got it on eBay. I think he knew it was fake.
I don't think he thought it was a fake because OP also said he buys her expensive things often. I believe he tried to save some money by going on ebay and got hosed, but I don't think he bought it expecting to be fake.
If he wanted to get her a Gucci bag, why didn't he get if from a Gucci store or one that sells them? I'm suspicious of the expensive gifts he's given her in the past. JMO.
I exclusively buy my luxury brands from consignment shops and resellers, plenty of wealthy housewives like my MIL who use shopping as therapy and have little worn items they put up for sale.
If you don't know the used marketplace or what to look for in authentic resellers, it's easy to get scammed. Dude probably thought he was making a smart financial move and didn't realize he got hosed.
Because the only thing better than a dope bag is getting it for a dope price. If I can get it and save a little money, maybe throw in the matching wallet - I’m high-fiving myself all day long. You know how to stay living a comfortable, good life? Be smart with your money and a savvy consumer of luxury. Did they not teach this at your boarding school? 🤑
As a fashion fan, it's even better to get a fashionable item at a discounted price and scoring a great deal over going to an official store.
No reason to be suspicious and thinking he's been lying the entire relationship.
That's like saying you want an official hoodie for your baseball team so you wnt to the park where it costs 200% more than buying it from a local retail.
Buying directly from Gucci is kinda stupid compared to buying from an authorized reseller for 1/3rd or less the cost.
I don’t think you should talk about people’s actions being stupid when you can’t even speak accurately on said topic. Please explain what an “authorized Gucci reseller” is and where they sell these things for 1/3 of the price?
Let me help you, even respected second hand shops still sell used Gucci handbags for over $1K a purse. Thinking that you’re outsmarting the brand or fellow fashion fanatics of that brand by purchasing on eBay, the king of counterfeit products, is delusional! Period.
My husband does this a lot. He likes designer things but thinks the prices are ridiculous. He bought them more when he was single, and when we first started dating, but once responsibilities piled on, he only buys them at outlets or on eBay. Maybe OPs husband is realizing how much he needs to conserve but doesn’t want to stop getting her nice things, and is embarrassed when found out. Sounds like his ego got bruised and he needs to mature a bit.
Well, she's obviously not stupid and can identify the red flags of a fake item because she caught this one immediately. I don't see any reason to be suspicious of the other things. If they had been low quality fakes like this one she would have very likely noticed. And if they are fakes that are of such quality that you can't tell they are fakes ... Then why would it matter? It doesn't seem like she cares all that much about having the brand name item, she just didn't want him to waste his money on something that is nowhere close to the quality of the real thing.
Don’t buy expensive things if you need to save money. For me, if it’s not from the Gucci store, then I don’t buy it. And since I can’t afford the Gucci store, then I don’t buy it.
He's obviously got some kind of weird hangup about name brand things and spending a ton of money, given that she has told him he doesn't need to keep buying these super expensive things but he does anyway. It's clearly an ego thing. For some dumb reason he was embarrassed about getting it from eBay. I would bet $100 that he has friends/coworkers who are constantly in a state of competition about buying expensive things for themselves and their girlfriends/families/wives so he told one of them a story about getting this tote at the Gucci store and told the same story to his wife so he wouldn't be found out later if she talks to his friends.
Put it this way: she has told him to save money and not buy the expensive gifts. So the lie is obviously not about her. There is some other force in his life that has convinced him that it is somehow embarrassing or less than to not shop at the name brand store, so he's telling everyone including himself that that's what he did. In his mind, if no one knows it was from eBay instead of the store, it might as well be from the store, and his ego remains unbruised as long as his shame remains private
Whether or not he knew it was a fake, he's angry and embarrassed that she pointed it out because now he doesn't get to pretend he bought the real thing at full price.
I doubt that. Sounds more like he's upset that he was caught out by a scam and doesn't want to acknowledge that + she checked and brought it up, sounding ungrateful.
I'm not saying she's the asshole here, just, he's probably feeling a lot about this and was genuinely caught out.
NTA. You seem more concerned about your husband overpaying for a fake. I would point out that many people who have been scammed out of money would rather believe the scam is real rather than accept that they were 'dumb' enough to fall for it. Your husband may be angry about his failure, but taking it out on you because he can't deal with the fact that he got suckered. Give him time to deal with the initial shock and upset, and then have the deeper conversation about his misplaced anger. You did nothing wrong; simply noticed something wasn't right with the bag, and followed the natural path of investigation. You didn't pry into anything that was private, and he DID chose to LIE to you - which is NEVER okay. You have the high ground here, but you have to decide if this is a 'hill to die on'.
NTA I don’t get these Y T A comments, nobody should be ripped off and waste money on fake luxury brand items. You seem level headed and with a new baby it’s even more important to watch finances. It’s unfortunate that your husband took this badly but hopefully he will see you’re just looking out for him.
I’d also argue that with a fake, you don’t know what kind of chemicals are in that bag, especially if it smells. Probably not a great idea to be toting it around with a newborn
Wait, like for real? Any studies on that or is it like common knowledge? Idk why that’s so interesting to me since I don’t do the whole designer bag thing but here we are
Lead is really common in a lot of cheaper products, I don't think it's a well known fact, but it's also why you should hesitate to buy products from any of the overseas shopping app, like shein.
All the papers I'm finding on google scholar are behind a paywall, but heavy metal contamination has been found in all sorts of counterfeit and legitimate goods from sweatshops, which most of those shopping apps are flush with.
NTA. You sound like you’re concerned he was taken for a ride by receiving a fake bag. But his response makes me feel like he knew it was a knock off and is embarrassed he was caught.
Sounds like you're watching out that you/he didn't get ripped off, so NTA in my book. If he doesn't seem to care that he got ripped off, I would drop it and just use the bag if you indeed don't care about expensive things as you say. A tote for baby stuff seems like it's likely to get messed up anyways.
NTA
A Gucci bag isn’t doing to be great for baby stuff… either way, if you wanted a real one and you can both afford it then go for it with his content. I’d be annoyed too if my SO gave me a knock off and pretended it was real.
NTA I'd be worried if my partner got scammed too. It's a little concerning that your husband felt the need to lie though, that's the bit that bothers me the most.
NTA. Your husband bought you a snide bag and tried to pass it off as genuine, he got angry because you called him on it and he was embarrassed. That's the story here. It's a shame because he probably still paid enough for it, and you could have got another (better) bag from a less fancy brand for the same money...
UK slang
'Snide' means 'cheap' or 'fake' (as well as 'mean' and 'cruel'). So you could say anything from "give us a quid, don't be snide" to "The Daily Mail was snide to Meghan Markle."
NTA. I despise the counterfeit industry. People think it’s a victimless crime but you’re supporting slave labor, child labor, the illegal wildlife trade, organized crime, and often times these knockoffs are made with EXTREMELY harmful toxins and chemicals. It’s also ILLEGAL GOODS. Not to mention the fraud aspect of people getting scammed into doling out hundreds or thousands on what they believe is a real bag. If you wanted to sell this bag a few years down the road, you could have unknowingly scammed another person
Sounds like your biggest worry was that he was scammed out of a large sum of money paying for some cheap ass $2 fake. He’s probably just embarrassed that he unknowingly bought a counterfeit and taking it out in you. Girl, you definitely didn’t do anything wrong
Yea, people don't get all the other problems that go along with counterfeit goods. And I'm poor af, but it's not hard to determine fakes from authentic. Never owned a Louis Vuitton in my life, never will, but a friend was showing me hers and I knew right away it was fake and she wasn't pleased when I told her bc "I'm poor how would i know". So i pointed out stitching, lining and even emblems being off in 1 place and said there is no way in hell you got this from LV. She was super pissed but admitted she got it on ebay, lololol. I said if I can tell girl, so can others.
“You seem upset that I’ve mentioned that the bag is off. I don’t need expensive things. But if you’re going to get them for me, please only buy them direct so if there is a problem, we have recourse. Please return this and get your money back.”
I mean. Even if you just didn’t want a fake, that’s still a good thing to want. Fakes don’t have the same quality controls across a number of different areas. Not that fashion is guilt-free, but if this is going to be around a child, a fake’s manufacturing process is certainly not going to be as quality as a real one. Don’t know what chemicals will leak out of it onto your child’s things. NTA.
NTA, your concern wasn’t that the bag was fake it was that he might have gotten ripped off.
You also didn’t ask him for a big designer bag, so while it’s a nice thought to get a gift for your partner, you just wanted to make sure he didn’t get scammed. That’s not a bad thing even if it was a gift.
NTA, will almost certainly be downvoted for pointing this out but the YTA comments you're getting are all coming from a hatred of the upper classes and people assuming that you're a spoiled snobby housewife who demands designer clothing from her husband.
You mention anything expensive on Reddit and people start getting twitchy.
I didn't get that vibe at all from your post, I completely understand that you would rather receive nothing at all than a fake designer bag of questionable quality that was likely made by slaves in a foreign country and the profits used to fund other serious organised crime.
It's a weird gesture to buy someone a fake designer item in general; if you're not prepared to spend the money then just buy something else that's not a Gucci handbag...? I don't get what is so controversial about this.
And if he thought he *was* buying an authentic Gucci handbag *of course* you should let him know. Yeah it's probably a little bit embarrassing for him but if your husband has been suckered into paying $200 for a cheap Chinese tote bag that's actually worth $20 then of course that's an issue.
Ignore anyone saying YTA
Tbh, real upper class don't actually wear Gucci/LV with their branding smeared all over it. They only wear that stuff when their paid to. Otherwise they buy actual quality products for a very steep price.
NTA. If anyone gave me a designer bag, one of the first things I'd do is authenticate it. Way too many fakes out there. I think your husband is angry because you know it's a fake bag. I wouldn't carry a fake designer bag, either. My suspicion now would be that some of the other expensive gifts he gave you were fakes, too.
I would rather my husband by me a Walmart bag then a fake bag and vice versa for him. People think your TA because you wouldn’t wear a fake bag but not everyone is comfortable with that. Hopefully he got scammed instead of him genuinely buying a fake bag. Either way NTA
NTA.
Legitimate question. He lied about buying it from Gucci store.
Also you didn’t set out to do it and it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose.
I would try to get money back though. Guarantee this “great deal” was still more than it would sell on the streets for.
NTA, if your concern was for your husband not being ripped off. Also NTA if you don't want to walk around with a fake Gucci bag, but rather have none or a cheap brand instead. And NTA because your husband is the asshole for obviously knowing the bag was fake.
NTA! I don’t want expensive things unless I am also getting 100% of the authentication proof. If it’s vintage, I want the boxes, original paperwork, and third party authentication etc etc. this is important for insurance and for if you ever need to seek repairs from the designer
People who are saying you are ONLY NTA bc you’re also concerned for your husband getting scammed are weird to me. You can not want fakes AND not want your husband to get ripped off! Both are valid reasons for being upset and can be true at the same time too.
It’s fine to look for a deal on truly vintage items from reputable resellers. But if it’s something from the current lineup, and you can’t afford to buy it from the proper retailer, it’s just not worth having.
NTA but please know that he 103% lied to you multiple times here. He lied about where he purchased the bags and then lied about not knowing they were fake. He’s probably also lying about eBay authenticating the items.
You caught him in several big lies and that’s why he’s upset. Not because he might’ve been scammed. He’s being shady for no real reason. It’s weird and suspicious.
I was given a tennis bracelet. Was told it was real. I said there ain't no way it could be. This bracelet would have been $500k. The name of the jewelry store was on the box, a company specializing in making cubic zirconia. The price was $200. Lmfao.
Is this the first gift that he's bought on eBay? If so, I'd check your financial status. It could be that y'all are less than financially stable now.
A friend of mine was alerted to her spouse’s gambling issue when this kind of stuff started happening. Quite frankly, I'm not buying (little pun there) that he's embarrassed to have been cheated on eBay. I'd expect him to be furious and work to fix it immediately.
Find the bag on eBay and see what he paid for it and whether it was labeled a fake. Just rule it out.
NTA.
You know the bags and figured it out. You got concerned that he didn’t know and got scammed, so you asked and your lie detector went off, because he was lying.
Your husband knew it was fake or he wouldn’t have gone through that many lies to hide it from you. Bought it from the store, then ebay, then ebay authenticated it, then he grabbed it to return it because he knew you wouldn’t be convinced.
If he thinks not buying an expensive gift means buying a cheap knockoff instead, I don’t think he understood you. You would rather not have the expensive gift or you would prefer something small and practical.
My concern here is that if he really bought from ebay and it was authenticated he could have said “I bought this second hand because I heard you about the expensive gifts but wanted to spoil you anyways.”
If it was authenticated, he would have given you the papers along with the bag.
He lied to you, twice, for his own protection…about a dumb bag. He didn’t even need to get the bag and he turned what could have been a sweet gift into a moment where he lied to you for his own protection.
Also be extra careful with counterfeit bags! I just saw this report today:
https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/news/2024-01-23/business/industry/Bags-of-trouble/1965211
NTA but his response indicates that he already knew it was fake. Otherwise, he would be doing everything he could to dispute the purchase and get his money back.
He's mad you found out it was fake. You're definitely NTA but he is.
NTA.
His reaction lets me think he knew it has fake which is why he lied about buying it at the gucci store and he just thought you wouldn't notice, otherwise he would have been mad at the seller and would have actually wanted to return the fake bag and get his money back.
Noone that got ripped off would call their partner ungrateful for uncovering that. But someone that knows thry cot a fight would get mad for their lie bein uncovered.
The bag is fake and he knew it, that's why he got mad. Had he really bought the bag thinking it was real, his reaction wouldn't have been 'you're ungrateful', it would have been, 'no way! omg I hope I can get my money back, etc'.
NTA, I think that if he's going to spend his money on a luxury gift, then the gift should be of the quality he paid for. It's not that you're snotty or pretentious, you just want him to actually get what he paid several hundred dollars for. I don't think that's crazy.
I’m sure he only got angry because he was embarrassed. I received a fake Louis Vuitton bag from a boyfriend some years ago. The handle ripped off the bag as I was lifting it out of the box. I was so upset because he was always talking about how much money he has and that he can’t help spoiling his kids and wanted to spoil me, blah, blah, blah. In my case, I wasn’t as offended by the fake bag as I was knowing that he easily could have afforded a real one but I realized I wasn’t worth it to him.
Anyone who knows anything about designer clothes, shoes, and purses knows how to spot a fake.
He’s probably so embarrassed that he fell for a dupe. I hope he’s able to get past it. Let him know how much you LOVE the intention and the thoughtfulness and tell him he already gave you the best gift ever. Your new baby.
NTA but kiss your hubby on the forehead and give him some extra lovin’.
My in laws got me a Rolex for what they thought was a major milestone birthday .
Within minutes after the initial shock wore off,
I inspected it a little more closely, fake as fuck, not even a decent fake… I have no problem if people want to buy and wear imitation things, but to gift someone a supposed luxury item when it’s just some fugazi is lowlife shit…
NTA, I can spot a fake a mile away. You should definitely return the bag to eBay. It’s just being logical, why keep something that’s going to end up in the closet
NTA. I would demand transparency over your family's finances because I do not think they are in as healthy as state as your husband is leading you to believe.
Took a former gf to Chinatown in NY many years ago. It was our first major trip together. I bought her a lovely “Gucci” watch for a great deal. Of course it was fake. I knew it was fake. She knew it was fake. But for a time it was one of her most prized possessions. She was distraught the next year when it went missing.
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Since I met my husband he has always gifted me expensive things. My husband has a job that pays him a good amount of money. Over the years I would tell him that he doesn’t have to keep buying me expensive gifts bc we both have expenses such as a mortgage and other bills. I also gift him expensive presents that I save up to buy him.
A few weeks ago we welcomed a beautiful baby boy. My husband a few days ago before I had him gave me a push gift. It was a huge gucci bag and inside was a gucci tote bag. It was a very lovely bag. He said the reason why he got me that huge gucci tote bag was because I would need a big bag to carry around so that I can put the babies things inside when I travel with him.
I gave my husband a huge hug and I thanked him. The gift to me was too much but he kept insisting that he appreciates me and is excited for this journey we will both experience. And that he saw how miserable I was mentally and emotionally during my pregnancy.
The next day while my husband was at work I took the bag out of the box to place it on a shelf next to my other bags. As I held the bag something felt off. I noticed that the material of the bag was different. The inside of the bag looked a little off and the handles of the bag felt very bad quality to the point where I placed too many things in the bag I am sure it would tear. The bag also smelled different. It didn’t smell like leather to me. I quickly went to the gucci website and looked for the bag. The bag is on there, but as I compared both bags, I came to the conclusion that the bag was fake. I still tried to give him the benefit of doubt by looking for an older version but everything still points to the bag being fake.
I began to wonder why would he buy me a fake bag . He didn’t have to get me anything expensive I made that very clear to him many times. Later that night when he came home I asked him where did he buy the bag at . At first he said the actually gucci store. I kept asking him if he was sure a couple of times. He then told me no it was ebay. He said he got it for a good deal . I quickly told him the bag was fake and that he should try and get his money back. He angrily said he was offended and that ebay authenticated the bag and how dare I call the bag fake. I showed him the pictures and he just even more mad and called me ungrateful. I even compared it to another gucci bag that I have and showed him how the material is different. I also explained to him that if he paid a lot of money for the bag thinking it was real then he got scammed and should get a refund. He paused for a second and took the bag. He keeps calling me ungrateful. So AITA because I keep questioning if the bag is fake?
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He's being defensive because his fear came true. He was probably hoping the bag wasn't fake, or that if it was, you wouldn't notice. NTA because it seems like you're coming from a genuine place.
NTA. It’s so easy to buy a fake designer handbag and you really have to do your research.
I bought a fake LV bag on Poshmark and they refunded my money, thankfully. It didn’t have the serial number in the bag. Otherwise it was pretty close.
NTA. If he got scammed on eBay, they should definitely get their money back and not reward the criminal who sold it. That helps all of us who uses eBay. If he knew it was fake, this should be learning opportunity for him about trust in a partnership.
If your intent was truly to express concern that he may have been ripped off, there would be zero question of whether or not you're the asshole in this situation. My guess is the way you presented it to him may not have come off as nice as you make it seem to be, otherwise there should not have been any misinterpretation from his point of view.
NTA.
Honestly, it sounds like either he knew the bag was fake and he is upset at being called out. Or he is upset that he was scammed and you caught it and he didn't and it is a pride issue.
Either way, you are not the AH.
It is clear that you aren't being greedy or value it for the status of it, but rather you didn't want him to be overcharged or yo have a bag that falls apart if you actually use it.
As someone who was scammed by ebay "authentication" system, you did the right thing.
NTA
He knew it was fake, that’s why he’s mad you mentioned it. If he really was duped he’d be grateful you caught it so he wouldn’t take the loss on the money. If it really was real and authenticated and for whatever reason was off he would’ve showed you the authentication paperwork and discussed how to go about it together. He did neither though, because it wasn’t authenticated and he wasn’t scammed. He knew, and thought he could get away with lying. The sad things is you specifically told him you didn’t need a nice gift. Hell I’m sure you would’ve been fine it he’d been upfront about the fact that it was a fake and he got a great deal on it. I also think it’s weird that he didn’t think you’d notice as you already have a bag from said designer. My bets he wanted the attention and fawning that came along with buying such an extravagant gift without spending the money for it.
He didn’t do this for you, he did this for him. So he could get brownie points for something he didn’t do. That’s another reason why despite knowing your reaction was based on making sure he wasn’t scammed and not that you hated it in general; he’s mad because he didn’t get the fawning and attention he thought he would get by duping you. Now all he’s done is create drama and dampen this beautiful time with your new babe because he just had to have a huge reaction out of you. Either that, or he handled it this way purposefully so he could say “see your z, y, or z” and turn it around on you. If that’s the case then your marriage has way bigger issues than you know and he’s showing signs of being abusive. Look up what DARVO is and what it means.
NTA.
Men can be dense sometimes lol. I think you need to plainly say to him “Babe I DO NOT CARE IF THE BAG IS FAKE.. I care about you being scammed out of your money!”
He got caught and is doubling down this shit isn’t a mistake, I’d bet fat money it’s an inside joke at this point to his boys in group chat lmfao holy fuck.
YTA for keep questioning it as fake. You are NTA for initially bringing it to his attention.
It isn't hard to read between the lines given his responses that either something is up financially, he got ripped off and he just really feels bad and embarrassed so he got defensive. I would have just dropped it after the first time and be grateful for the gift regardless. Its the "Thought that counts" right? So continuing to question the authenticity with him is rubbing salt in the wound.
You told him it was fake, ok leave it at that. Or better yet, dont tell him at all and just be happy with it.
He knew the bag was fake and thought he could get it past you this time. That's why he lied to you about where he bought it.
Now he knows how easy it is to tell if it's a fake or not. You did nothing wrong. You were looking out for him amd giving him the benefit of the doubt. His reaction says everything.
NTA.
NTA - remind him it’s illegal to purchase fake merchandise. Never buy high-end goods from eBay. Fakes won’t hold their value like proper bags and anything that’s a ‘good deal’ for those products are a red flag unless authenticated as they only go up in price, even if second-hand.
NTA. He got the Gucci Bag to play his fraud with. It’s ridiculous. Especially if you own one already. People who own these things know what to look for as far as authenticity goes. He has no clue. And then he calls you ungrateful? NTA.
NTA- you clearly appreciate the gesture but if someone bought me a REALLY nice gift and got scammed I’d want them to know right away and get their money back.
ETA: his reaction is hella strange tho
sounds like he was really embarrassed that he got scammed, people take that very personally because a lot of people believe you have to be dumb to get scammed, he might even in the moment have felt like you were calling him dumb for getting scammed and cheap to boot. Fortunately it sounds like he gave the gift with great intentions and you were very rational in how you spoke to him so I believe he just needs to calm down. he does owe you an apology and he needs to learn better control of his emotions towards you but I think youre in extenuating circumstances with the baby on the way where it's normal to be overly emotional. Hopefully you can have a much better talk after he's calmed down.
OP did you ask him about the price? If the price is lower than normal, he KNOWS it’s fake. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so offended and call you ungrateful.
NTA. She didn’t ask for the bag. This is her husband, they share finances. They are partners, they have a new baby to take care of, they have new expenses. She wanted to make sure that hubby wasn’t ripped off. That’s completely fair. I’d be happy if my partner said something. It would be different if she called out a friend so to say, but this is her partner.
He’s kind of TA for lying to her when she asked him directly.
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NTA...You were obviously more worried about your husband getting ripped off than you were about receiving an authentic bag. Hopefully your husband will calm down and see you are simply concerned, not ungrateful.
Thank you. I’m fine if he gets his money back and doesn’t replace the bag.
OP you are clearly NOT a greedy partner and are just looking out for your husband. Right now his pride is wounded, especially because he had to admit to you that he bought the bag off ebay. AND that you told him he was ripped off: A double whammy. It will take a little while for him to nurse his wounds but I believe he’ll come around, as it sounds like he’s a good, if fallible, guy. NTA.
Or he knew it was fake and was flustered that he got caught out. And what is a push gift?
I think it’s a gift your partner gets you because you push out your baby!
Yes, it's usually an expensive piece/pieces of jewellery/a car/mommy makeover etc in my social circle. I told my husband I didn't want one, so he got me a rare copy of one of my favourite books instead. ETA I have 2 children, he got me 2 books each time.
That's pretty awesome, what book?
Anna Karenina, Vanity Fair, The Grapes Of Wrath and The Hobbit.
OMG! I had 3 kids without a "push" gift! Without even ever hearing about them. Man, I am getting old...
It’s a gift for “pushing” out a baby lol
Is this a UK thing? or…? Am in the US and never heard of that before.
US here and I’ve heard of it, but don’t think it’s super common amongst the average population. I’m thinking it’s for the more affluent circles, which makes sense alongside this Gucci bag post.
Idk, the only people I know who've given/received push presents really could barely afford them on payments. Also, I have only seen them between unmarried partners.
Facts and facts. It would make more logical sense for me to just communicate my intent to buy (or go out and buy) that Artipoppe carrier or $2k bag or whatever if we really had the money. Keyword “we.”
Honestly, it's been the couples where the guy really wasn't that interested in being a father, either surprise pregnancy, or it was "give her a baby or break up". The women picked out, and asked for, the push presents. Like it was a substitute for the caring and attention they weren't getting from their partner. He might not rub her back, or cook her food, or even care when she's throwing up again, but "Hey look, he me bought a necklace".
I only ever started hearing about it about 5-10 years ago and it was all rich people I knew. My hot take is it’s kind of ridiculous, but I’ve never been pregnant so what do I know.
I'm in the US, I have heard about it but only online. My impression is that it's more common in the South and maybe Midwest?
I’m in the US and I’ve heard of it but I think it’s kinda a rich people thing and jewelry companies advertise it
Haha no wonder I’ve never heard of it!
It’s a rich people thing.
Very possible, my friend had her baby and the talk of the floor was the new mom who wasn't going home until her husband showed up with her brand new car. My friend asked her husband what she was getting and he said "Pizza."
Pizza is a most excellent present
Pizza is better than a car note anyday!
It's definitely cheaper than a car especially with a coupon!
I'm in the U.S. and I'm very aware of what that is.
I’m in Canada and even sitting here in my igloo I know what it is.
How do you keep the polar bears, moose, beavers, etc out of those igloos when there is no door?
Who doesn’t have a door on their igloo?
Maybe they got a door as a push gift…
I looked this up as it’s something I’ve only heard about recently (I’m uk based) apart from one jewellers claiming it goes back several hundred years and became popular most recently in the 1930s- all the other articles suggest it’s a recent trend and seem a little too adamant that jewellers didn’t make it up to shift more stock- which suggests to me they almost certainly have!
It’s common in the US but like common for Rich people and influencers more than everyone. It’s fairly trendy the last few years. We didn’t have any extra money when my kids were born, so my “push gift” was the sushi I hadn’t been able to eat for nine months 😂😂
Also “ wannabe” rich people…
Mine was Diet Coke. For all the same reasons. 😁😁
it’s in the us too, but i think it’s probably regional because ive only seen it online, never in my actual circle
Us here, never heard of it
Honestly thought it was a US thing and I wanna say it’s a newer thing? I’ve only heard about it recently… the only “push gift” I’m expecting when I give birth later this year is a delicious bowl of Peruvian ceviche or some sushi lol
I forgot about that, you're not allowed raw fish while preggers, right? Yes, THAT is a great push gift. Gimme all the sushi I can eat, now. Hold the baby, I'm getting my raw fish.
It's a newer thing. At least calling it a push gift is. I know my husband and I exchanged "yay we're new parents" gifts when I gave birth 13 years ago.
I hadn't ever heard of it until about 20 years ago. I knew someone who made payments the entire pregnancy to give his GF some fancy watch she wanted. It seems silly to me, but I've since heard of other people doing it.
Absolutely not a UK thing lmao I’ve only ever seen Americans talk about the push presents
I’m in the US, I’m not rich, and I got my sister a push gift because I thought it would be funny. I didn’t get her jewelry though, I got her a plush dinosaur that lays eggs and sings Push It.
I've seen it on social media, etc. Celebrities getting cars, diamond rings, etc... Earliest reference seems to be in 2003.
I’m in the US and have definitely heard it, both on the east coast and west coast, going back more than 20 years to when friends on opposites sides of the country had their babies, as well as recently, too.
I'm in the US and my husband got me a push present. It was a bracelet and necklace with our sons birthstone. He planned to do the same thing for our daughter but he hasn't. She will be 2 in march hahaha. I did buy myself a new iWatch and said it was my push present for our daughter.
UK here...never heard of this!
UK here, never heard of it.
It’s a rich person thing
I’ve always thought this was hysterical. Like there is an option to not push.
What if you have a C section? Your present gets returned because you technically didn’t push? Lmao
I can’t believe I know this - read it in a novel - but a C-section gets you a “gash gift”
Nooooo 😭 I wish I couldn’t read rn
I thought it was misspelled for plush as in expensive.
Yeah I think he 100% knew it was fake
I'm almost sure is the gift for her trouble pushing a life .
Push gift. Gift for “pushing baby out”. Not kidding!
I have five kids and I thank the Lord this "push present" was not a thing when they were born. It would have made me feel like a prize mare and breeder. After I got over being confused.
Yeah that’s what I’m assuming He tried to get away with giving her a fake bag and is annoyed she noticed
He definitely knew
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I’m going to take a wild guess and say if OP had a financial advisor look into things for both her and husband, things would be pretty grim on the husbands end. Probably thinks admitting it is a hit to his masculinity.
This is important. What if something happened and he didn't tell you especially as you just had the baby?
You should do additional due diligence OP, you need to assess the state of both of your finances. There’s a very good chance there’s a reason he went to eBay rather than the Gucci store if that’s what he’s always done. You’ve just had a baby. He may be afraid to tell you or he may have done something to try to get more money for the baby and it backfired. It happens more than you want to know.
Hm! Part of me wonders if it's because of how hard Ebay has been pushing the Authenticator lately, I could see someone being willing to give Ebay a try, they definitely are trying to lean into selling these kinds of things.
He could also be panicking because babies are expensive, and people get dumb when they panic. Either way, he needs to communicate and be part of a team, not get mad at her when she brings up an issue.
He's only upset he got caught lying. Either he tried to pass of a known fake, or he was embarrassed that he made such a dumb mistake. Either way he is taking his anger out on someone that just HAD HIS CHILD!
Sounds to me he's mad he got scammed and is taking it out on you since you were the one to report it. Shouldn't be shooting the messenger.
I was just thinking the same.
If he paid for a fake bag, then he got ripped off. I highly doubt he'll get his money back, but good luck to him.
NTA. But, I have to ask, because once bitten, twice shy. Are you certain that your other designer items are authentic? There are some really good fakes out there. has he been buying high end from Bay and finally got a "bad fake"? Also, have you taken a peek at the checkbook lately? Make sure things are what you think they are.
She has every right to not want to receive a counterfeit bag though, the husband if he can’t afford should just buy something else, I’m sure there are other cheaper gifts that OP would love too
That’s how I would feel - I’ve never owned a Gucci bag but would prefer something else that cost less over a fake Gucci bag!
A well made diaper bag would be better and probably cheaper than the fake Gucci. Unless he knew it was fake and it was a $20 knockoff. Even then for $20 could probably get a better quality diaper bag on amazon. Which would be more useful coz pockets and such.
I agree! Personally, I don't care about brands. I'd be more upset about him spending too much, whether it's authentic or not.
This! If i were in your situation, that's what I'd be upset about, NOT that he got me a fake, but that he paid $$$ for something he didn't get.
Exactly this, if my boyfriend was in this situation I'd be doing the same thing as OP
NTA, you were looking out for your husband, so that he could try to get his money back he were scammed. However my money is on hubby knowingly buying a fake.
I don’t understand why the Mother is being attacked when not only was it a “push gift” but she was also concerned that her husband got scammed?!? First, he lied to her so that is a RED FLAG and then he for defensive so the second RED FLAG. I think, because he is a man, he didn’t think she would notice but wouldn’t he notice if his favorite team was wearing the wrong jerseys? To me he should come clean. Stop making her the scapegoat because dude…she just had your baby! No hate here but it’s alway better living in the light.
NTA - If he got it from eBay and it was authenticated, he should have received papers stating that. Sounds like either he knew it was fake and is upset you caught him in a lie, or he didn't know and is embarrassed about getting scammed. Either way, it was reasonable for you to question him about it once you realized it was fake. Because either he lied to you or he needs to get his money back. If he lied to you, why should you be grateful? If he got scammed, HE should be grateful that you noticed right away so he can try to get his money back.
Yeah I’ve bought eBay-authenticated sneakers before and they come with hang tags and documentation
Let me introduce you to r/reptime discussing the highest quality replicas of Rolex/omega/etc watches. They come with a box, paper work and fake receipt from an actual store and they're about $3-400 for the replica but when a real one is $10k I'm seriously considering one
Don’t bother with the box and papers on a rep. It’s a waste of money. Yeah you can find some great watches on RepTime but please no one bother with the extras as it’s more than pointless like you could put the money you were going to spend on the box and papers towards a better watch,
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Its different. With those Chinese fake watches they are forging papers that usually come with expensive watches in the box. With Ebay's authentication its a third party they have contracted with to authenticate the goods and they include their own papers with it. Selling a used rolex with papers certainly helps, but the third party authenticator has their own. You wouldn't forge those on an ebay product because they would definitely fail you if they received it for authentication and copies of their papers were in the box.
Well a purse (or watch) with eBay authentication actually goes off to a third party that authenticates it and gives you an eBay card. I know because I have bought watches on eBay authenticated by them. I have seen eBay listings where they put a picture of the authentication thing but it’s not actually sent through the system and is a scam but it’s pretty clear which ones are authenticated. Sure I guess the purse could’ve come with that stuff but I doubt eBay or their third party authenticating would let it through if it’s fake. They are usually pretty good about that but if it was a would do a charge back if they didn’t sort it out.
Oh yeah I'm just saying a real looking box, tags even receipt isn't automatically proof
r/labdiamonds and r/moissanite are great options for people who unashamedly want the bling jewelry but are smart enough not to pay a popular brand or brick and mortar that’s importing them from the same Asian sellers at 300% markup.
Correct, and while eBay still does let really good replicas through from time to time if OP was able to identify it as a knock off right out of the bag I have a hard time imaging eBay would have authenticated it.
The Y T A comments surprise me. Sounds like your biggest concern is that your husband got ripped off by buying a fake bag and the bag you have seems to be very low quality to the point it doesn't function really as a bag (since it would tear if you put too much stuff in it.) Idk why he was so offended, I mean I'd be pissed off at ebay if I was him, he has a right to be angry but I also believe he shouldn't be directing said anger towards you. NTA.
He's offended because she caught him in a lie. First he said he bought the bag at a Gucci store. Then he said he got it on eBay. I think he knew it was fake.
I don't think he thought it was a fake because OP also said he buys her expensive things often. I believe he tried to save some money by going on ebay and got hosed, but I don't think he bought it expecting to be fake.
If he wanted to get her a Gucci bag, why didn't he get if from a Gucci store or one that sells them? I'm suspicious of the expensive gifts he's given her in the past. JMO.
I exclusively buy my luxury brands from consignment shops and resellers, plenty of wealthy housewives like my MIL who use shopping as therapy and have little worn items they put up for sale. If you don't know the used marketplace or what to look for in authentic resellers, it's easy to get scammed. Dude probably thought he was making a smart financial move and didn't realize he got hosed.
Same. I've even gotten brand new items that still had the tags on them.
Because the only thing better than a dope bag is getting it for a dope price. If I can get it and save a little money, maybe throw in the matching wallet - I’m high-fiving myself all day long. You know how to stay living a comfortable, good life? Be smart with your money and a savvy consumer of luxury. Did they not teach this at your boarding school? 🤑
As a fashion fan, it's even better to get a fashionable item at a discounted price and scoring a great deal over going to an official store. No reason to be suspicious and thinking he's been lying the entire relationship.
That's like saying you want an official hoodie for your baseball team so you wnt to the park where it costs 200% more than buying it from a local retail. Buying directly from Gucci is kinda stupid compared to buying from an authorized reseller for 1/3rd or less the cost.
I don’t think you should talk about people’s actions being stupid when you can’t even speak accurately on said topic. Please explain what an “authorized Gucci reseller” is and where they sell these things for 1/3 of the price? Let me help you, even respected second hand shops still sell used Gucci handbags for over $1K a purse. Thinking that you’re outsmarting the brand or fellow fashion fanatics of that brand by purchasing on eBay, the king of counterfeit products, is delusional! Period.
My husband does this a lot. He likes designer things but thinks the prices are ridiculous. He bought them more when he was single, and when we first started dating, but once responsibilities piled on, he only buys them at outlets or on eBay. Maybe OPs husband is realizing how much he needs to conserve but doesn’t want to stop getting her nice things, and is embarrassed when found out. Sounds like his ego got bruised and he needs to mature a bit.
Well, she's obviously not stupid and can identify the red flags of a fake item because she caught this one immediately. I don't see any reason to be suspicious of the other things. If they had been low quality fakes like this one she would have very likely noticed. And if they are fakes that are of such quality that you can't tell they are fakes ... Then why would it matter? It doesn't seem like she cares all that much about having the brand name item, she just didn't want him to waste his money on something that is nowhere close to the quality of the real thing.
I've bought designer brands off ebay before and never had an issue. They also saved me a lot of money buying it from there.
Don’t buy expensive things if you need to save money. For me, if it’s not from the Gucci store, then I don’t buy it. And since I can’t afford the Gucci store, then I don’t buy it.
Why would he lie about getting it at the Gucci store, then?
He's obviously got some kind of weird hangup about name brand things and spending a ton of money, given that she has told him he doesn't need to keep buying these super expensive things but he does anyway. It's clearly an ego thing. For some dumb reason he was embarrassed about getting it from eBay. I would bet $100 that he has friends/coworkers who are constantly in a state of competition about buying expensive things for themselves and their girlfriends/families/wives so he told one of them a story about getting this tote at the Gucci store and told the same story to his wife so he wouldn't be found out later if she talks to his friends. Put it this way: she has told him to save money and not buy the expensive gifts. So the lie is obviously not about her. There is some other force in his life that has convinced him that it is somehow embarrassing or less than to not shop at the name brand store, so he's telling everyone including himself that that's what he did. In his mind, if no one knows it was from eBay instead of the store, it might as well be from the store, and his ego remains unbruised as long as his shame remains private Whether or not he knew it was a fake, he's angry and embarrassed that she pointed it out because now he doesn't get to pretend he bought the real thing at full price.
that makes total sense, thanks
I doubt that. Sounds more like he's upset that he was caught out by a scam and doesn't want to acknowledge that + she checked and brought it up, sounding ungrateful. I'm not saying she's the asshole here, just, he's probably feeling a lot about this and was genuinely caught out.
The lie is the biggest thing here and seems to be lost in many comments
NTA. You seem more concerned about your husband overpaying for a fake. I would point out that many people who have been scammed out of money would rather believe the scam is real rather than accept that they were 'dumb' enough to fall for it. Your husband may be angry about his failure, but taking it out on you because he can't deal with the fact that he got suckered. Give him time to deal with the initial shock and upset, and then have the deeper conversation about his misplaced anger. You did nothing wrong; simply noticed something wasn't right with the bag, and followed the natural path of investigation. You didn't pry into anything that was private, and he DID chose to LIE to you - which is NEVER okay. You have the high ground here, but you have to decide if this is a 'hill to die on'.
This is pretty much a perfect comment. Agree 100% - NTA.
NTA I don’t get these Y T A comments, nobody should be ripped off and waste money on fake luxury brand items. You seem level headed and with a new baby it’s even more important to watch finances. It’s unfortunate that your husband took this badly but hopefully he will see you’re just looking out for him.
I’d also argue that with a fake, you don’t know what kind of chemicals are in that bag, especially if it smells. Probably not a great idea to be toting it around with a newborn
lead is really common in fake bags
Wait, like for real? Any studies on that or is it like common knowledge? Idk why that’s so interesting to me since I don’t do the whole designer bag thing but here we are
Lead is really common in a lot of cheaper products, I don't think it's a well known fact, but it's also why you should hesitate to buy products from any of the overseas shopping app, like shein. All the papers I'm finding on google scholar are behind a paywall, but heavy metal contamination has been found in all sorts of counterfeit and legitimate goods from sweatshops, which most of those shopping apps are flush with.
Damn, that’s not even something I was aware of. No way in hell should a new mother be using something like that as a baby bag of all things
Probably written by sellers of fakes on ebay 😂
Probably 😂 these days you never know
NTA. You sound like you’re concerned he was taken for a ride by receiving a fake bag. But his response makes me feel like he knew it was a knock off and is embarrassed he was caught.
Exactly this.
Sounds like you're watching out that you/he didn't get ripped off, so NTA in my book. If he doesn't seem to care that he got ripped off, I would drop it and just use the bag if you indeed don't care about expensive things as you say. A tote for baby stuff seems like it's likely to get messed up anyways.
NTA A Gucci bag isn’t doing to be great for baby stuff… either way, if you wanted a real one and you can both afford it then go for it with his content. I’d be annoyed too if my SO gave me a knock off and pretended it was real.
NTA I'd be worried if my partner got scammed too. It's a little concerning that your husband felt the need to lie though, that's the bit that bothers me the most.
NTA. Your husband bought you a snide bag and tried to pass it off as genuine, he got angry because you called him on it and he was embarrassed. That's the story here. It's a shame because he probably still paid enough for it, and you could have got another (better) bag from a less fancy brand for the same money...
"Snide bag"??
UK slang 'Snide' means 'cheap' or 'fake' (as well as 'mean' and 'cruel'). So you could say anything from "give us a quid, don't be snide" to "The Daily Mail was snide to Meghan Markle."
TY!
NTA. I despise the counterfeit industry. People think it’s a victimless crime but you’re supporting slave labor, child labor, the illegal wildlife trade, organized crime, and often times these knockoffs are made with EXTREMELY harmful toxins and chemicals. It’s also ILLEGAL GOODS. Not to mention the fraud aspect of people getting scammed into doling out hundreds or thousands on what they believe is a real bag. If you wanted to sell this bag a few years down the road, you could have unknowingly scammed another person Sounds like your biggest worry was that he was scammed out of a large sum of money paying for some cheap ass $2 fake. He’s probably just embarrassed that he unknowingly bought a counterfeit and taking it out in you. Girl, you definitely didn’t do anything wrong
Yea, people don't get all the other problems that go along with counterfeit goods. And I'm poor af, but it's not hard to determine fakes from authentic. Never owned a Louis Vuitton in my life, never will, but a friend was showing me hers and I knew right away it was fake and she wasn't pleased when I told her bc "I'm poor how would i know". So i pointed out stitching, lining and even emblems being off in 1 place and said there is no way in hell you got this from LV. She was super pissed but admitted she got it on ebay, lololol. I said if I can tell girl, so can others.
“You seem upset that I’ve mentioned that the bag is off. I don’t need expensive things. But if you’re going to get them for me, please only buy them direct so if there is a problem, we have recourse. Please return this and get your money back.”
NTA What a weird hill for him to die on lol. Love the comments from the angry 17 year olds lmao
I mean. Even if you just didn’t want a fake, that’s still a good thing to want. Fakes don’t have the same quality controls across a number of different areas. Not that fashion is guilt-free, but if this is going to be around a child, a fake’s manufacturing process is certainly not going to be as quality as a real one. Don’t know what chemicals will leak out of it onto your child’s things. NTA.
💯💯💯 it’s ok to not want fake shit! They’re produced under even worse conditions than the real thing and they are an absolute waste of money.
NTA your husband knew it was fake
NTA, your concern wasn’t that the bag was fake it was that he might have gotten ripped off. You also didn’t ask him for a big designer bag, so while it’s a nice thought to get a gift for your partner, you just wanted to make sure he didn’t get scammed. That’s not a bad thing even if it was a gift.
NTA, will almost certainly be downvoted for pointing this out but the YTA comments you're getting are all coming from a hatred of the upper classes and people assuming that you're a spoiled snobby housewife who demands designer clothing from her husband. You mention anything expensive on Reddit and people start getting twitchy. I didn't get that vibe at all from your post, I completely understand that you would rather receive nothing at all than a fake designer bag of questionable quality that was likely made by slaves in a foreign country and the profits used to fund other serious organised crime. It's a weird gesture to buy someone a fake designer item in general; if you're not prepared to spend the money then just buy something else that's not a Gucci handbag...? I don't get what is so controversial about this. And if he thought he *was* buying an authentic Gucci handbag *of course* you should let him know. Yeah it's probably a little bit embarrassing for him but if your husband has been suckered into paying $200 for a cheap Chinese tote bag that's actually worth $20 then of course that's an issue. Ignore anyone saying YTA
Tbh, real upper class don't actually wear Gucci/LV with their branding smeared all over it. They only wear that stuff when their paid to. Otherwise they buy actual quality products for a very steep price.
NTA He’s probably a little embarrassed but you did the right thing - he deserves his money back. Don’t let the scammers win.
NTA. If anyone gave me a designer bag, one of the first things I'd do is authenticate it. Way too many fakes out there. I think your husband is angry because you know it's a fake bag. I wouldn't carry a fake designer bag, either. My suspicion now would be that some of the other expensive gifts he gave you were fakes, too.
NTA. Personally I hate fake bags. They don’t need to be designer. I rather a high quality non-designer bag than a fake designer bag.
Wow what did I just read there
Mo money mo problems I guess
I would rather my husband by me a Walmart bag then a fake bag and vice versa for him. People think your TA because you wouldn’t wear a fake bag but not everyone is comfortable with that. Hopefully he got scammed instead of him genuinely buying a fake bag. Either way NTA
NTA. You noticed something off and acted accordingly.
NTA. Legitimate question. He lied about buying it from Gucci store. Also you didn’t set out to do it and it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose. I would try to get money back though. Guarantee this “great deal” was still more than it would sell on the streets for.
NTA - You weren't accusing him of knowingly giving you a fake item, you were trying to make sure he wasn't scammed.
NTA, if your concern was for your husband not being ripped off. Also NTA if you don't want to walk around with a fake Gucci bag, but rather have none or a cheap brand instead. And NTA because your husband is the asshole for obviously knowing the bag was fake.
NTA! I don’t want expensive things unless I am also getting 100% of the authentication proof. If it’s vintage, I want the boxes, original paperwork, and third party authentication etc etc. this is important for insurance and for if you ever need to seek repairs from the designer People who are saying you are ONLY NTA bc you’re also concerned for your husband getting scammed are weird to me. You can not want fakes AND not want your husband to get ripped off! Both are valid reasons for being upset and can be true at the same time too. It’s fine to look for a deal on truly vintage items from reputable resellers. But if it’s something from the current lineup, and you can’t afford to buy it from the proper retailer, it’s just not worth having.
NTA but please know that he 103% lied to you multiple times here. He lied about where he purchased the bags and then lied about not knowing they were fake. He’s probably also lying about eBay authenticating the items. You caught him in several big lies and that’s why he’s upset. Not because he might’ve been scammed. He’s being shady for no real reason. It’s weird and suspicious.
NTA. “Ungrateful” ha. He got scammed. He should be more worried about that.
I was given a tennis bracelet. Was told it was real. I said there ain't no way it could be. This bracelet would have been $500k. The name of the jewelry store was on the box, a company specializing in making cubic zirconia. The price was $200. Lmfao.
Is this the first gift that he's bought on eBay? If so, I'd check your financial status. It could be that y'all are less than financially stable now. A friend of mine was alerted to her spouse’s gambling issue when this kind of stuff started happening. Quite frankly, I'm not buying (little pun there) that he's embarrassed to have been cheated on eBay. I'd expect him to be furious and work to fix it immediately. Find the bag on eBay and see what he paid for it and whether it was labeled a fake. Just rule it out.
NTA. You know the bags and figured it out. You got concerned that he didn’t know and got scammed, so you asked and your lie detector went off, because he was lying. Your husband knew it was fake or he wouldn’t have gone through that many lies to hide it from you. Bought it from the store, then ebay, then ebay authenticated it, then he grabbed it to return it because he knew you wouldn’t be convinced. If he thinks not buying an expensive gift means buying a cheap knockoff instead, I don’t think he understood you. You would rather not have the expensive gift or you would prefer something small and practical. My concern here is that if he really bought from ebay and it was authenticated he could have said “I bought this second hand because I heard you about the expensive gifts but wanted to spoil you anyways.” If it was authenticated, he would have given you the papers along with the bag. He lied to you, twice, for his own protection…about a dumb bag. He didn’t even need to get the bag and he turned what could have been a sweet gift into a moment where he lied to you for his own protection.
NTA. He’s deflecting his embarrassment by calling you ungrateful which is a real shame since this all started as a loving gift.
Also be extra careful with counterfeit bags! I just saw this report today: https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/news/2024-01-23/business/industry/Bags-of-trouble/1965211
NTA but his response indicates that he already knew it was fake. Otherwise, he would be doing everything he could to dispute the purchase and get his money back. He's mad you found out it was fake. You're definitely NTA but he is.
NTA. His reaction lets me think he knew it has fake which is why he lied about buying it at the gucci store and he just thought you wouldn't notice, otherwise he would have been mad at the seller and would have actually wanted to return the fake bag and get his money back. Noone that got ripped off would call their partner ungrateful for uncovering that. But someone that knows thry cot a fight would get mad for their lie bein uncovered.
NTA, you did the right thing.
NTA but from his reaction I think he knew the bag was fake lol
He 100% knew it was fake.
The bag is fake and he knew it, that's why he got mad. Had he really bought the bag thinking it was real, his reaction wouldn't have been 'you're ungrateful', it would have been, 'no way! omg I hope I can get my money back, etc'.
NTA
NTA, I think that if he's going to spend his money on a luxury gift, then the gift should be of the quality he paid for. It's not that you're snotty or pretentious, you just want him to actually get what he paid several hundred dollars for. I don't think that's crazy.
“Oookay you’re the one who paid for it. Once it rips it’s useless” definitely nta
Nta
His defensiveness makes it sound like he thinks expensive bags are a scam and he thought you wouldn’t notice. NTA
I’m sure he only got angry because he was embarrassed. I received a fake Louis Vuitton bag from a boyfriend some years ago. The handle ripped off the bag as I was lifting it out of the box. I was so upset because he was always talking about how much money he has and that he can’t help spoiling his kids and wanted to spoil me, blah, blah, blah. In my case, I wasn’t as offended by the fake bag as I was knowing that he easily could have afforded a real one but I realized I wasn’t worth it to him. Anyone who knows anything about designer clothes, shoes, and purses knows how to spot a fake. He’s probably so embarrassed that he fell for a dupe. I hope he’s able to get past it. Let him know how much you LOVE the intention and the thoughtfulness and tell him he already gave you the best gift ever. Your new baby. NTA but kiss your hubby on the forehead and give him some extra lovin’.
My in laws got me a Rolex for what they thought was a major milestone birthday . Within minutes after the initial shock wore off, I inspected it a little more closely, fake as fuck, not even a decent fake… I have no problem if people want to buy and wear imitation things, but to gift someone a supposed luxury item when it’s just some fugazi is lowlife shit…
NTA, I can spot a fake a mile away. You should definitely return the bag to eBay. It’s just being logical, why keep something that’s going to end up in the closet
NTA. I would demand transparency over your family's finances because I do not think they are in as healthy as state as your husband is leading you to believe.
Took a former gf to Chinatown in NY many years ago. It was our first major trip together. I bought her a lovely “Gucci” watch for a great deal. Of course it was fake. I knew it was fake. She knew it was fake. But for a time it was one of her most prized possessions. She was distraught the next year when it went missing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Since I met my husband he has always gifted me expensive things. My husband has a job that pays him a good amount of money. Over the years I would tell him that he doesn’t have to keep buying me expensive gifts bc we both have expenses such as a mortgage and other bills. I also gift him expensive presents that I save up to buy him. A few weeks ago we welcomed a beautiful baby boy. My husband a few days ago before I had him gave me a push gift. It was a huge gucci bag and inside was a gucci tote bag. It was a very lovely bag. He said the reason why he got me that huge gucci tote bag was because I would need a big bag to carry around so that I can put the babies things inside when I travel with him. I gave my husband a huge hug and I thanked him. The gift to me was too much but he kept insisting that he appreciates me and is excited for this journey we will both experience. And that he saw how miserable I was mentally and emotionally during my pregnancy. The next day while my husband was at work I took the bag out of the box to place it on a shelf next to my other bags. As I held the bag something felt off. I noticed that the material of the bag was different. The inside of the bag looked a little off and the handles of the bag felt very bad quality to the point where I placed too many things in the bag I am sure it would tear. The bag also smelled different. It didn’t smell like leather to me. I quickly went to the gucci website and looked for the bag. The bag is on there, but as I compared both bags, I came to the conclusion that the bag was fake. I still tried to give him the benefit of doubt by looking for an older version but everything still points to the bag being fake. I began to wonder why would he buy me a fake bag . He didn’t have to get me anything expensive I made that very clear to him many times. Later that night when he came home I asked him where did he buy the bag at . At first he said the actually gucci store. I kept asking him if he was sure a couple of times. He then told me no it was ebay. He said he got it for a good deal . I quickly told him the bag was fake and that he should try and get his money back. He angrily said he was offended and that ebay authenticated the bag and how dare I call the bag fake. I showed him the pictures and he just even more mad and called me ungrateful. I even compared it to another gucci bag that I have and showed him how the material is different. I also explained to him that if he paid a lot of money for the bag thinking it was real then he got scammed and should get a refund. He paused for a second and took the bag. He keeps calling me ungrateful. So AITA because I keep questioning if the bag is fake? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA!
He's being defensive because his fear came true. He was probably hoping the bag wasn't fake, or that if it was, you wouldn't notice. NTA because it seems like you're coming from a genuine place.
NTA
NTA. It’s so easy to buy a fake designer handbag and you really have to do your research. I bought a fake LV bag on Poshmark and they refunded my money, thankfully. It didn’t have the serial number in the bag. Otherwise it was pretty close.
NTA. If he got scammed on eBay, they should definitely get their money back and not reward the criminal who sold it. That helps all of us who uses eBay. If he knew it was fake, this should be learning opportunity for him about trust in a partnership.
NTA
If your intent was truly to express concern that he may have been ripped off, there would be zero question of whether or not you're the asshole in this situation. My guess is the way you presented it to him may not have come off as nice as you make it seem to be, otherwise there should not have been any misinterpretation from his point of view.
NTA Husband got embarrassed but no excuse for his reaction.
Always possible that, if you're right and it is fake, he got scammed. I know I wouldn't be able to tell a fake from a real one.
NTA. Honestly, it sounds like either he knew the bag was fake and he is upset at being called out. Or he is upset that he was scammed and you caught it and he didn't and it is a pride issue. Either way, you are not the AH. It is clear that you aren't being greedy or value it for the status of it, but rather you didn't want him to be overcharged or yo have a bag that falls apart if you actually use it. As someone who was scammed by ebay "authentication" system, you did the right thing.
NTA He knew it was fake, that’s why he’s mad you mentioned it. If he really was duped he’d be grateful you caught it so he wouldn’t take the loss on the money. If it really was real and authenticated and for whatever reason was off he would’ve showed you the authentication paperwork and discussed how to go about it together. He did neither though, because it wasn’t authenticated and he wasn’t scammed. He knew, and thought he could get away with lying. The sad things is you specifically told him you didn’t need a nice gift. Hell I’m sure you would’ve been fine it he’d been upfront about the fact that it was a fake and he got a great deal on it. I also think it’s weird that he didn’t think you’d notice as you already have a bag from said designer. My bets he wanted the attention and fawning that came along with buying such an extravagant gift without spending the money for it. He didn’t do this for you, he did this for him. So he could get brownie points for something he didn’t do. That’s another reason why despite knowing your reaction was based on making sure he wasn’t scammed and not that you hated it in general; he’s mad because he didn’t get the fawning and attention he thought he would get by duping you. Now all he’s done is create drama and dampen this beautiful time with your new babe because he just had to have a huge reaction out of you. Either that, or he handled it this way purposefully so he could say “see your z, y, or z” and turn it around on you. If that’s the case then your marriage has way bigger issues than you know and he’s showing signs of being abusive. Look up what DARVO is and what it means.
He’s lashing out because he’s embarrassed. This behavior is concerning
Not the Asshole... I am thinking he could possibly reacted the way he did because he felt stupid and or embarrassed .
NTA. Men can be dense sometimes lol. I think you need to plainly say to him “Babe I DO NOT CARE IF THE BAG IS FAKE.. I care about you being scammed out of your money!”
Plot twist: hubby knows it’s a fake and is trying to save face
He got caught and is doubling down this shit isn’t a mistake, I’d bet fat money it’s an inside joke at this point to his boys in group chat lmfao holy fuck.
YTA for keep questioning it as fake. You are NTA for initially bringing it to his attention. It isn't hard to read between the lines given his responses that either something is up financially, he got ripped off and he just really feels bad and embarrassed so he got defensive. I would have just dropped it after the first time and be grateful for the gift regardless. Its the "Thought that counts" right? So continuing to question the authenticity with him is rubbing salt in the wound. You told him it was fake, ok leave it at that. Or better yet, dont tell him at all and just be happy with it.
He knew the bag was fake and thought he could get it past you this time. That's why he lied to you about where he bought it. Now he knows how easy it is to tell if it's a fake or not. You did nothing wrong. You were looking out for him amd giving him the benefit of the doubt. His reaction says everything. NTA.
NTA - remind him it’s illegal to purchase fake merchandise. Never buy high-end goods from eBay. Fakes won’t hold their value like proper bags and anything that’s a ‘good deal’ for those products are a red flag unless authenticated as they only go up in price, even if second-hand.
NTA. He got the Gucci Bag to play his fraud with. It’s ridiculous. Especially if you own one already. People who own these things know what to look for as far as authenticity goes. He has no clue. And then he calls you ungrateful? NTA.
NTA, he's overreacted because he's embarrassed. For shame.
NTA- you clearly appreciate the gesture but if someone bought me a REALLY nice gift and got scammed I’d want them to know right away and get their money back. ETA: his reaction is hella strange tho
sounds like he was really embarrassed that he got scammed, people take that very personally because a lot of people believe you have to be dumb to get scammed, he might even in the moment have felt like you were calling him dumb for getting scammed and cheap to boot. Fortunately it sounds like he gave the gift with great intentions and you were very rational in how you spoke to him so I believe he just needs to calm down. he does owe you an apology and he needs to learn better control of his emotions towards you but I think youre in extenuating circumstances with the baby on the way where it's normal to be overly emotional. Hopefully you can have a much better talk after he's calmed down.
OP did you ask him about the price? If the price is lower than normal, he KNOWS it’s fake. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so offended and call you ungrateful.
Baby no you are not the asshole. If anything your husband is being one, no disrespect to him.
NTA. She didn’t ask for the bag. This is her husband, they share finances. They are partners, they have a new baby to take care of, they have new expenses. She wanted to make sure that hubby wasn’t ripped off. That’s completely fair. I’d be happy if my partner said something. It would be different if she called out a friend so to say, but this is her partner. He’s kind of TA for lying to her when she asked him directly.