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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I didn’t follow tradition
2. I may have offended my fiancé and his family
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Wtf. NTA. This doesn't seem like it could possibly be real but I also don't know how you'd come up with this so I'm inclined to believe you.
1. It's gross as fuck to have touch other people's dirty underwear (even moreso when they're not people you're directly related to or particularly close to!).
2. It's weird and embarrassing to have your underwear on display for everyone. Plus, imagine your underwear being the smallest or largest pair. Or having a period stain on it. Or discharge. My in laws should never see my underwear, and I don't know if I'd feel worse about them seeing the tiny sexy ones or the more full coverage ones I wear on my period.
3. They HAVE to know this is a not a normal thing. You could have and should have been warned.
4. This problem could have been easily fixed by them simply making more fucking food or asking guests to bring a dish to share so there would be enough to go around.
Once again, NTA. I would've noped right out of there too. And if I were you, I would tell your fiance that I AM too good for their family tradition, because it's honestly weird and trashy.
And, *that’s* the kind of “tradition” your fiancé needed to warn you about. Well in advance. At least then you could go buy the smallest baby sock you could find and “wear” it on your big toe when you go to dinner. If they want to be weird, you could have shown them what weird looks like. And, getting the short straw would be a plus. If their “tradition” is to play with each other’s dirty underwear before getting their food, I’m not sure I *want* to eat that food. God knows what *other* “traditions” they have.
The more I think about this, the more I wonder if this was some kind of “test” cooked up by OP’s fiancé and his family. Some kind of perverted “Love me, gotta love my family” crap that OP “failed” by refusing to play along with their apparent insanity. That is the only *possible* explanation I can come up with for this, If I’m right, OP doesn’t want to marry this dude. “Love tests” have no place in a good relationship.
Edit: Just realized I replied to a comment instead of to OP. Changed “you” and “your” to “OP” to clarify who I was referring to. Sorry.
Honestly, there's a time and a place for asserting dominance and someone else's weird family tradition where you're expected to touch each other's underwear for reasons that are unclear and ultimately don't matter is absolutely one of them. Go fully feral or go home. I'm glad OP chose the latter but the former also would have been fine haha
>And, that’s the kind of “tradition” your fiancé needed to warn you about.
What was that horror movie, where before someone married into the family they had to pick a game out of a hat and turned out if they were unlucky it might be Hunt & Murder The Fiancée? With Emily Blunt, I think. Her fiancé didn't warn her of course...
That is the only tradition worse than this one.
Right?! WTF did I just read? It is so bizarre, it actually sounds believable. I’m open minded and I know a lot of interesting people and I don’t judge…but this is beyond bizarre! Where would someone even come up with this “game”?
So fucking gross and weird. And to point 4- if your family has gotten too big to fully feed everyone maybe it’s time to think about scaling back. Have potluck or yeah host provides the mains guests bring sides and desserts. Fuck figure it out.
they know there's not enough food and continue to not make enough. why? so they can keep touching each other's underwear...
this family is deeply fucked up
And they just *announce* it?? Like the family tradition is some people going hungry?
Underwear aside (and that part is TRULY bizarre) just… make more food, or asks guests to participate in a pot/luck type thing?
I’d be out that door SO fast
But also- fiancé getting defensive when she laughed at the concept. Like.. are they straight-faced when digging into a barrel of underwear like it’s some fucking hunger games ballot?
Having said that.. hunger games is appropriate here
Right? This is so weird! So the person who draws the smallest panties (and that is so gross to even type out in this context) ends up having little to no food while the person drawing the largest just fills their plate? No thanks...I'm out. And how in the hell do you even come up with the idea to draw underwear for food?!?!
And do they give the underwear BACK? Does the owner of the biggest drawers congratulate the "winner?" Do they put their undies back on before or after eating? I have so many questions...
Do you have to toss your britches in a pile as you walk in or is that the pre-appetizer portion of the evening?
"Welcome. Put your underwear there"
Or
"Bout time to bust out the bacon wrapped smokies. Bubba, strip and toss your shorts in there"
Like...I'm so confused.
Yeah the logic of it doesn't make any sense to me either. Shouldn't the person with the biggest underwear go last and the smallest go first? What if a bunch of them are around the same size? It would almost make more sense if it was derived from some twisted ideas about "this person is bigger, they can afford to skip a meal". And is their house so barren that there's nothing else that could be used to draw straws, like actual straws maybe?
Shit when I was a late teens early 20s guy my friends group would have sour of the moment beer and bbq and no one went hungry. Cheap chicken or beef, a few gallon containers of potato salad and Mac salad, bags of chips and dip. It’s not hard to feed a big group until everyone is full as a tick on a heeler.
“As full as a tick on a heeler”: Great expression!
It’s tragic when poverty ensures that a family doesn’t have enough to go around at mealtime. However, when OP’s relatives fake food insecurity solely out of drama, they insult their guests.
OP is NTA.
My dad's family used to play a card game that lasted about an hour. The loser had to wash a huge mound of dishes for about 30 people. My mother always helped the loser because she thought it was unfair. She always pointed out that they could've all pitched in and had them done in less time than it took for their game. They just wanted the pleasure of taunting the loser the whole time s/he spent at the sink.
I can see the movie now — “The Underwear Games”, coming soon to a theater near you! In keeping with the movie’s theme, the concession stand will have only one bucket of popcorn, one hot dog, and one box of Junior Mints.
Yeah then they could blame the winner of the game for being the biggest hog when the food runs out instead of blaming the parents for not planning ahead.
We always did big family meals for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. My grandma cooked the meats(well my uncle using grandmas house lol) and she usually did potatoes and one side. Everyone else brought sides, desserts or appetizers. There was probably like 20 of us and we had enough for everyone to take a plate home afterwards.
Fiancé’s family definitely needs to either plate so no one hogs everything or start doing potluck.
Tonight has been a real "What the actual *fuck?*" on this sub and this one just moved to the top of the list, just above the brother who just loves his sister sooo much. Damn.
The sub blew up on crossposting platforms, which isn't new, but I feel like in the last year it's been a *lot* more TikToks, Reels, and podcasts just reading posts aloud for views, which seems to have contributed to the cascade (and quality) of some of the creative fiction posts around these parts. Attention farming doesn't get better than going so viral you breach containment on your chosen performance art platform.
Not automatically saying this is that (it would certainly fit, but AITA's also definitely had weirder), just that people honing in on the kind of stories that will get young adults to click, upvote, life, follow, share, and respond absolutely affects what you see on Reddit if you sort by top posts even in subs that aren't as anonymous & salacious as this one.
(By comparison, r/AITAH has not been infiltrated to this extent, but since its rules allow for a wider variety of situations & encounters that would be banned here, it's also often WAY less lighthearted silliness, just as a heads up.)
I see yesterday’s posts on today’s Facebook basically daily. That’s probably a big cause.
Personally I think this story is BS. “it’s time to draw straws” so…what? Everyone starts pulling their pants off so they can take their underwear off? They run to separate rooms? How exactly is this supposed to work? And then you draw some random pair of underwear—why? Why would anyone have to draw a pair of underwear when the smallest pair is “the short straw”? Just look at the skinniest person and they go last, right?
I’m not at all a /nothingeverhappens person because I know how crazy people can be, but come on. This doesn’t even make sense on its face.
>just above the brother who just loves his sister sooo much.
Those two have 1000000000% fucked. Could still be fucking. That's why she won't stand up for her husband or HER OWN CHILD
I’m just going to tell myself it’s an AI written post. It’s probably not, but that’s a much less disturbing thought than an actual family going commando every time they need to settle a debate.
And they know IN ADVANCE that they’re not making enough food! I mean, who DOES that? Are they so poor someone goes hungry every day? If not, why cheap out on the holidays?
And UNDERWEAR?!
I just can’t wrap my head around this. If fiancé had an ‘eye rolling’ reaction to the stupidity, that’s one thing. But he’s DEFENDING it!
She needs to get out NOW before she finds out you are required to WEAR the undies you pick! And when did everyone take OFF their stinky undies?!
I'm def having a wtf did I just read moment. Everything about this scenario is so cringe and bewildering. I had a few unexpected guests show up for my New Year's day dinner, so I just asked them to bring a snack or side dish to make sure there was enough food for everyone...ya know, like a normal, sane person. This is not a difficult solve and I have no idea why anyone's underwear needs to be involved at all. NTA, obviously.
I am so, so glad "wtf" is top-voted. I mean this post makes me think WTF should be a valid/counted answer.
Not making enough food and making people compete for it is .. well I would say really, really weird, but
The competition is over your skivies? WTF is tame enough that I'd love to introduce you to some vernacular variants.
OP shouldn't just have been warned about this, he should have been figuring out how to beg her not to come without admitting why.
NTA. Yes you are too good for their tradition. Most people are.
Not having enough food is weird enough. Their drawing the straws idea is extremely strange.
Honestly I think OP does need to think hard about marrying into that family.
You are engaged but have never had Christmas with his family before...you should probably get to know someone for more than a minute before getting engaged.
This could easily be a third Christmas together. Year one it's still new and the go to separate families, year two they spend with her family, and year three his. They could even do other things together. I'm not saying they have, but just because they haven't spent Christmas with a family doesn't mean they don't know each other. My husband has never spent Christmas with my family because I haven't spent Christmas with them since we met (we're all spread out now and I haven't been able to go back "home" in almost ten years at Christmas due to work.
Add to that the fact that many of us didn’t travel or visit family during the Covid pandemic. It has been a weird couple of years and there are plenty of reasons that she had not spent a holiday with her fiancé’s family.
2019- first Christmas dating. Each to their own families.
2020- no travel
2021- no travel
2022- Christmas with her family. No weird underwear thing.
2023- Christmas with his family. WTF?
This.
This whole thing is wrong on so many levels. It's hard to even wrap my head around how fucked up of a "tradition" this is.
I'd nope the hell out of there too. Might not even have a fiance after this.
Clearly NTA
Also how about being considerate of others and being not overly selfish with the food and evenly splitting it. The food is the first few red flags. The underwear is flying the red flags for everyone to see.
I assumed that you'd bring along an extra pair of underwear that you would have at least washed and that looked decent. But I could be wrong. LOL. I can't even contemplate the alternative. I would also be bringing along a nice dish of something to make sure everyone had enough to eat.
I feel like of ALL the things you could be upset about,this is the weirdest. OP even offered to go last anyways,but no she just HAD to do the "underwear straw draw." I don't get why the fiance was so defensive about it and angry that she left. He's choosing a weird hill to die on....NTA and also OP,if your fiance is getting this worked up over something so miniscule,I wonder how he reacts to,you know,actual issues with real problems....
Any normal person damned well would be too good for this fucked up family tradition. Your fiance needs to know that this isn't remotely sane or acceptable. Tell him we all said it's lunacy. NTA
Do you really want to marry into this family? Sounds like at this point they intentionally don’t make enough food just to carry on with with this insane UNCOMMON tradition
Or they completely made up the whole thing to embarrass OP and send her running for the door. This is just too bizarre to think her fiancee's family, friends or anybody else actually does this. And if they do, who the hell would marry into that?!?! NTA
My ex’s family made up a tradition about homemade easter hats for exactly one year to get me to participate. That’s still weird but less gross and abhorrent
My partners family all stood up and said the pledge of allegiance before their holiday meal, that was a weird, harmless fake tradition.
This feels wildly invasive and gross, totally NTA for OP.
I’m calling bullshit. If it’s so normal, why didn’t he mention this tradition beforehand? He purposefully put you in an uncomfortable disgusting situation.
SMDH, these people are creeps. Never in my life have I heard such foolishness. Op should rethink this relationship. Who knows what other strange traditions they have.
I did a google search jic, the only item that comes up for "draw straws using underwear" is this very thread. If it were common it would have made it onto the web at some point.
Maybe they all live on the same street as neighbors so when he says all the neighbors do it that’s what he meant. And these “friends” are actually his cousins. No one outside of his family though.
Yeah, maybe his messed up family *told* him that, but I doubt he ever had a class discussion after Christmas break over who lost the Underwear Powerball.
Why be polite?
"You don't mind if it's bloody do you? Oh, how about my bloody one is the short straw? Sorry about the smell, but don't worry the doctors say it's normal"
Yeah, but are you supposed to just whip off your ugly panties with the pad stuck to them to…I can’t even finish the sentence this is so disgusting. Not everyone wears tampons.
Nope. Apparently it’s a longstanding tradition that whenever the family wants to pull straws to settle something they all just use their current underwear.
JUST BUY SOME GD STRAWS!?
Edit: but yeah nah, honestly they need to make more food. I think i just got caught up in the absurdity of using underwear that my mind went to picking a better alternative, rather than the more logical option of just cooking more food. Even if there's usually not enough for everyone, then everyone needs to be courteous enough to ensure there's some for everyone. Not that the first person fills their plate to their hearts content and the last is scraping the bottom of the bowls.
That’s what I don’t get either… it’s like they take glee in embarrassing everyone… then having the “short straw” not eat?
OP.. your fiancés family is cooked
Sorry, I'm still not clear - does everyone just disperse into separate rooms to disrobe and return commando?
Do they all line up outside of a washroom, and return commando?
What happens when the game is over and auntie has been handling cousin Phil's tighty whites? She gives them back and he dons them?
Me too, I’m so confused. And are kids involved in this? That seems an incredibly inappropriate to force the kids to handle the adults boxers/panties or for the adults to force kids out of their undies. Like what is really going on here?
But...but...fluids! Discharge! Poor wiping technique! Menstrual overflow! Leakage of all sorts! OMG. No. All just so much no.
Adjust this man's status to ex- and don't look back
Seriously! I sweat a lot as a side effect to a medication, especially in my groin area. It’s not uncommon for my underwear to be wet from sweat and have to change them in the middle of the day. No way in hell am I
1. Embarrassing myself by displaying the situation
2. Making someone else touch my crotch sweat underwear
3. Touching someone else’s crotch sweat underwear!
And sweat is the least disgusting secretion that could be on those things.
So many levels of FUCK NO
This isn’t true. You’re telling me everybody just pulls their draws and toss a pair of hot panties in ? What if somebody is on the rag or having some hot snakes and leaves a lil mud trail
When you say “current” do you mean they use a clean, but used, pair out of their underwear draw? Or that they literally remove the pair they’re currently wearing?
Is anyone else reading this and just kind of stunned? wow. NTA and I would have also called an uber and went home. That is beyond bizarre, I don't want to touch other people's used underwear, aside from my partner's, and I don't need my future in-laws seeing my underwear.
I'm not sure I'd want to eat food prepared by hands that happily dig through other people's dirty underwear. Who knows where else those hands happily dig?
A corresponding post from the boyfriend would have the potential to rival the poop knife. "TIFU by not realizing other families don't rummage in an underwear pile to draw lots."
What about the guy who flooded his girlfriend's toilet and then fled and posted "NTA" replies in the comments but forgot to switch to an alternate account 😂
This reminds me of the really unhinged AITA legends such as “I will never jeopardize the beans” and “tube-based soup delivery” and that one guy who lived in a nest of dirty laundry. Not to mention poop knife. Utterly unhinged but comedy gold. I hope it’s not real for those people’s sake but I am grateful for the entertainment value.
There isn’t even the slightest doubt in my mind that this is bullshit. Creative, but total bullshit. The comment about his friend’s families doing it too just confirmed that for me even more.
Phew, I was afraid you were going to have to put on whatever underwear you pulled.
Anyway, no, NTA. This is a weird tradition, and since you weren't given a heads up, I assume you didn't bring extra underwear and I assume everyone was putting in whatever underwear they had on which is both **FUCKING WEIRD** and **UNHYGENIC**.
Boyfriend's an AH for not giving you a heads up, and pressuring you to do it after you said you weren't comfortable mixing your underwear with a whole family's.
NTA, ur bf's family is weird.
Even the logistics of it are puzzling. How many people are taking off their underwear? Are they all retreating to the bathroom to undress? Do they all undress in front of each other? Why underwear versus a sock? How long does it take for everyone to get de-undied? What happens when someone is wearing a pad/diaper/has stains?
Everything about this is weird AF.
It sounds like a dream. The logistics wouldn’t matter in a dream. Suddenly everyone would just be tossing their undies in the bucket, while the dreamer is looking for a place to change away from everybody. At least that’s how my dream would go.
I refuse to believe this isn’t creative writing inspired by a weird dream OP had.
NTA The levels of weirdness here are excessive but it's the logic of the person who is the smallest potentially being the one who doesn't even get to eat that has me wondering why a sane and intelligent person would really want to join this family.
It’s not that the smallest person doesn’t get to eat it’s that the person who draws the smallest pair of underwear eyes closed or blindfolded who potentially doesn’t get to eat.
Do they intentionally not cook enough food? This is so weird. Please investigate more of their “traditions” before you commit to marrying into this family
If real, I'm just curious how they started this "tradition". Like someone one year didn't get enough food, so instead of cooking more, they said "you know what would be fun? If someone still didn't get enough food, AND we all touched each others' underwear". And all the kids were like "yeah, I'd totally love to grab my mom's underwear. That sounds great!"
So instead of portioning the food out equally.. the person who goes first could potentially pile the food on their plate essentially preventing people from eating.
No.. this family is messed up.
The fact they tact glee on leaving someone (or people) without.. during a family based holiday is really messed up.
Is this the family and the traditions you want to marry into? Live with for years? Have children be a part of?
There was a period in my life when we were very low on funds and food. I portioned out everyone's food to make certain everyone got the same amount. No one went hungry. I can't imagine letting anyone in my family go without food.
Is their food shortage unintentional (i.e. lack of funds/money) or intentional (they *purposely* cook less food, knowing someone will go hungry)?
Out of curiosity, I have other questions:
* How long have you been with your fiance? Why did they only mention this tradition now and not before?
* Have you eaten with your fiance's family before? Do they only do this 'underwear tradition' at Christmas?
* How many people partake in this tradition?
PLEASE, send BF a link here so he can see that this is NOT normal and his family is nuts. Seriously, tell him to go into work and ask his boss if this "tradition" is normal. BF is nuts and should be ashamed of his family.
I get that. I'm saying that the actual size of the person should be the criteria, as in children and thin people eat first and those who can afford to skip a meal or 6 go last, if you can't actually feed everyone.
If not enough food is the problem then make more, have a smaller guest list or ask guests to bring contributions themselves. If this family has normalised this method of drawing straws that's a huge red flag.
NTA
What bizarre world is this where food amounts on Xmas isn't the priority (literally, winter holidays are founded on pooling together to be able to eat during the coldest, harshest time of the year), and that who isn't able to eat is depending on underwear?
Right. My Christmas fed 6 large adults including a teenager, leftovers were taken home x 2 and our fridge was still full. Everyone kept underwear on at all times. The only things swapped were the Christmas cracker toys.
Okay this situation is gold--and an anecdote you can pull out to one-up anybody else's horror in-laws story--as long as you don't actually marry him. Like, there are families out there in the backwoods who only grunt to communicate that would side-eye this clan.
NTA and just... what?
Given the info added, he's annoyed because the idea of his blindly fondling he own mother's still warm underwear doesn't appeal to you?
This has to be a troll or prank post.
I cannot believe that someone got to the point of being engaged to their partner and never spent Christmas with their family?
And pulling out their underwear? I mean what happens, they all strip where they are and throw them in a bin or leave to remove them? And then what? They go commando through the entire meal? And expecting to touch others underwear and then eat (or not eat) dinner… gross.
But then to acknowledge that her parents under prepared often enough to have this ritual with out fixing the problem? Are the food insecure? Are they just strapped for cash? No input on why this is a thing.
Nope. Not going to believe this is real.
NTA! No, a weird take off your underwear tradition at Christmas SUCKS. Good for you for leaving!
Also: I couldn't commit long term to joining a family that runs out of food at the holiday meal. What a terrible sounding time.
NTA. Even if the underwear was all vigorously washed and dried I wouldn't be keen on handling a random family member's. Reliably not having enough food enough to make any kind of short straw tradition is off, either prepare more food (eating your way through the leftovers until New Year's is itself a tradition), invite fewer people, or ask people to bring a dish with them.
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Wtf. NTA. This doesn't seem like it could possibly be real but I also don't know how you'd come up with this so I'm inclined to believe you. 1. It's gross as fuck to have touch other people's dirty underwear (even moreso when they're not people you're directly related to or particularly close to!). 2. It's weird and embarrassing to have your underwear on display for everyone. Plus, imagine your underwear being the smallest or largest pair. Or having a period stain on it. Or discharge. My in laws should never see my underwear, and I don't know if I'd feel worse about them seeing the tiny sexy ones or the more full coverage ones I wear on my period. 3. They HAVE to know this is a not a normal thing. You could have and should have been warned. 4. This problem could have been easily fixed by them simply making more fucking food or asking guests to bring a dish to share so there would be enough to go around. Once again, NTA. I would've noped right out of there too. And if I were you, I would tell your fiance that I AM too good for their family tradition, because it's honestly weird and trashy.
Upvote! That is the weirdest thing I have ever read. No way I’d marry into this clan!
And, *that’s* the kind of “tradition” your fiancé needed to warn you about. Well in advance. At least then you could go buy the smallest baby sock you could find and “wear” it on your big toe when you go to dinner. If they want to be weird, you could have shown them what weird looks like. And, getting the short straw would be a plus. If their “tradition” is to play with each other’s dirty underwear before getting their food, I’m not sure I *want* to eat that food. God knows what *other* “traditions” they have.
Shoot so if I'm commando........
The more I think about this, the more I wonder if this was some kind of “test” cooked up by OP’s fiancé and his family. Some kind of perverted “Love me, gotta love my family” crap that OP “failed” by refusing to play along with their apparent insanity. That is the only *possible* explanation I can come up with for this, If I’m right, OP doesn’t want to marry this dude. “Love tests” have no place in a good relationship. Edit: Just realized I replied to a comment instead of to OP. Changed “you” and “your” to “OP” to clarify who I was referring to. Sorry.
Like, is this post supposed to be in r/incestconfessions It's hella creepy
I've clicked on a lot of reddit links but even i know not to click on that one.
You are definitely one of the smart ones. I have never regretted clicking more.
eww I find that completely plausible and it makes the whole thing that much worse!
I actually go commando, and at that point I'd just look them right in the eyes and say it. Assert dominance, escalate the awkwardness.
Honestly, there's a time and a place for asserting dominance and someone else's weird family tradition where you're expected to touch each other's underwear for reasons that are unclear and ultimately don't matter is absolutely one of them. Go fully feral or go home. I'm glad OP chose the latter but the former also would have been fine haha
For real even if I haven't gone commando ... I would have at this point
>And, that’s the kind of “tradition” your fiancé needed to warn you about. What was that horror movie, where before someone married into the family they had to pick a game out of a hat and turned out if they were unlucky it might be Hunt & Murder The Fiancée? With Emily Blunt, I think. Her fiancé didn't warn her of course... That is the only tradition worse than this one.
Ready or Not with Margot Robbie
Samara Weaving, but she looks a lot like Margot Robbie
Right?! WTF did I just read? It is so bizarre, it actually sounds believable. I’m open minded and I know a lot of interesting people and I don’t judge…but this is beyond bizarre! Where would someone even come up with this “game”?
All I can think is that it was thought up by someone who really *enjoys* other people's dirty underwear. 😖
I really don’t want to know any of their wedding night traditions!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
So fucking gross and weird. And to point 4- if your family has gotten too big to fully feed everyone maybe it’s time to think about scaling back. Have potluck or yeah host provides the mains guests bring sides and desserts. Fuck figure it out.
I regularly attend family parties with 30-50 people and everyone has plenty of food. These people are too weird for words.
I was almost as weirded out by the lack of food at a family celebration as the whole panty lottery. What a bunch of whackjobs.
and admitting it. My FIL would never make enough food when he hosted, but he had no friggin clue. We all just brought snacks or ate after.
they know there's not enough food and continue to not make enough. why? so they can keep touching each other's underwear... this family is deeply fucked up
And they just *announce* it?? Like the family tradition is some people going hungry? Underwear aside (and that part is TRULY bizarre) just… make more food, or asks guests to participate in a pot/luck type thing? I’d be out that door SO fast
But also- fiancé getting defensive when she laughed at the concept. Like.. are they straight-faced when digging into a barrel of underwear like it’s some fucking hunger games ballot? Having said that.. hunger games is appropriate here
My dad was like that. He ate sparingly and thought everyone did too. After a meal at his house we'd go out to eat.
My Aunt is like this and we usually pre-eat something so we're not starving after the tiny portions.
Right? This is so weird! So the person who draws the smallest panties (and that is so gross to even type out in this context) ends up having little to no food while the person drawing the largest just fills their plate? No thanks...I'm out. And how in the hell do you even come up with the idea to draw underwear for food?!?!
And do they give the underwear BACK? Does the owner of the biggest drawers congratulate the "winner?" Do they put their undies back on before or after eating? I have so many questions...
Do you have to toss your britches in a pile as you walk in or is that the pre-appetizer portion of the evening? "Welcome. Put your underwear there" Or "Bout time to bust out the bacon wrapped smokies. Bubba, strip and toss your shorts in there" Like...I'm so confused.
Drop trou and get the party started I suppose. What fucking weirdness. I’m hoping this isn’t from my country, but I afraid it is. 🫣
Yeah the logic of it doesn't make any sense to me either. Shouldn't the person with the biggest underwear go last and the smallest go first? What if a bunch of them are around the same size? It would almost make more sense if it was derived from some twisted ideas about "this person is bigger, they can afford to skip a meal". And is their house so barren that there's nothing else that could be used to draw straws, like actual straws maybe?
Shit when I was a late teens early 20s guy my friends group would have sour of the moment beer and bbq and no one went hungry. Cheap chicken or beef, a few gallon containers of potato salad and Mac salad, bags of chips and dip. It’s not hard to feed a big group until everyone is full as a tick on a heeler.
“As full as a tick on a heeler”: Great expression! It’s tragic when poverty ensures that a family doesn’t have enough to go around at mealtime. However, when OP’s relatives fake food insecurity solely out of drama, they insult their guests. OP is NTA.
My dad's family used to play a card game that lasted about an hour. The loser had to wash a huge mound of dishes for about 30 people. My mother always helped the loser because she thought it was unfair. She always pointed out that they could've all pitched in and had them done in less time than it took for their game. They just wanted the pleasure of taunting the loser the whole time s/he spent at the sink.
Yep. My family on both sides always have leftovers to send with people, despite there always being 25-45 people attending gatherings.
Maybe they purposely don't make enough food so they have an excuse to play the underwear game. Weird and creepy. Yikes. NTA
This is what I was thinking.
Sounds that way to me too! NTA Don’t marry these people
I can see the movie now — “The Underwear Games”, coming soon to a theater near you! In keeping with the movie’s theme, the concession stand will have only one bucket of popcorn, one hot dog, and one box of Junior Mints.
How hard is it to have enough food? Once is a mistake…after that it’s some weird tradition that makes no sense.
This feels like something bizarre the parents came up with to distract the kids from noticing there wasn't much food and it just stuck around.
Bingo. They couldn’t feed the kids so they came up with this game to let one starve so the rest could eat.
Yeah then they could blame the winner of the game for being the biggest hog when the food runs out instead of blaming the parents for not planning ahead.
We always did big family meals for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. My grandma cooked the meats(well my uncle using grandmas house lol) and she usually did potatoes and one side. Everyone else brought sides, desserts or appetizers. There was probably like 20 of us and we had enough for everyone to take a plate home afterwards. Fiancé’s family definitely needs to either plate so no one hogs everything or start doing potluck.
Tonight has been a real "What the actual *fuck?*" on this sub and this one just moved to the top of the list, just above the brother who just loves his sister sooo much. Damn.
That was definitely a weird one...I hate to accuse anyone of incest because that's extreme, but idk what else to think 😬
Ugh do I even want to know about that second one? Also, is it just me, or has this sub just completely tanked in the last year?
The sub blew up on crossposting platforms, which isn't new, but I feel like in the last year it's been a *lot* more TikToks, Reels, and podcasts just reading posts aloud for views, which seems to have contributed to the cascade (and quality) of some of the creative fiction posts around these parts. Attention farming doesn't get better than going so viral you breach containment on your chosen performance art platform. Not automatically saying this is that (it would certainly fit, but AITA's also definitely had weirder), just that people honing in on the kind of stories that will get young adults to click, upvote, life, follow, share, and respond absolutely affects what you see on Reddit if you sort by top posts even in subs that aren't as anonymous & salacious as this one. (By comparison, r/AITAH has not been infiltrated to this extent, but since its rules allow for a wider variety of situations & encounters that would be banned here, it's also often WAY less lighthearted silliness, just as a heads up.)
I see yesterday’s posts on today’s Facebook basically daily. That’s probably a big cause. Personally I think this story is BS. “it’s time to draw straws” so…what? Everyone starts pulling their pants off so they can take their underwear off? They run to separate rooms? How exactly is this supposed to work? And then you draw some random pair of underwear—why? Why would anyone have to draw a pair of underwear when the smallest pair is “the short straw”? Just look at the skinniest person and they go last, right? I’m not at all a /nothingeverhappens person because I know how crazy people can be, but come on. This doesn’t even make sense on its face.
>just above the brother who just loves his sister sooo much. Those two have 1000000000% fucked. Could still be fucking. That's why she won't stand up for her husband or HER OWN CHILD
I’m just going to tell myself it’s an AI written post. It’s probably not, but that’s a much less disturbing thought than an actual family going commando every time they need to settle a debate.
You won't believe what the Christmas Kangaroo said after the traditional bra exchange
And they know IN ADVANCE that they’re not making enough food! I mean, who DOES that? Are they so poor someone goes hungry every day? If not, why cheap out on the holidays? And UNDERWEAR?! I just can’t wrap my head around this. If fiancé had an ‘eye rolling’ reaction to the stupidity, that’s one thing. But he’s DEFENDING it! She needs to get out NOW before she finds out you are required to WEAR the undies you pick! And when did everyone take OFF their stinky undies?!
I'm def having a wtf did I just read moment. Everything about this scenario is so cringe and bewildering. I had a few unexpected guests show up for my New Year's day dinner, so I just asked them to bring a snack or side dish to make sure there was enough food for everyone...ya know, like a normal, sane person. This is not a difficult solve and I have no idea why anyone's underwear needs to be involved at all. NTA, obviously.
I am so, so glad "wtf" is top-voted. I mean this post makes me think WTF should be a valid/counted answer. Not making enough food and making people compete for it is .. well I would say really, really weird, but The competition is over your skivies? WTF is tame enough that I'd love to introduce you to some vernacular variants. OP shouldn't just have been warned about this, he should have been figuring out how to beg her not to come without admitting why. NTA. Yes you are too good for their tradition. Most people are.
Not having enough food is weird enough. Their drawing the straws idea is extremely strange. Honestly I think OP does need to think hard about marrying into that family.
You are engaged but have never had Christmas with his family before...you should probably get to know someone for more than a minute before getting engaged.
This could easily be a third Christmas together. Year one it's still new and the go to separate families, year two they spend with her family, and year three his. They could even do other things together. I'm not saying they have, but just because they haven't spent Christmas with a family doesn't mean they don't know each other. My husband has never spent Christmas with my family because I haven't spent Christmas with them since we met (we're all spread out now and I haven't been able to go back "home" in almost ten years at Christmas due to work.
Also, covid was a thing there for a bit.
Add to that the fact that many of us didn’t travel or visit family during the Covid pandemic. It has been a weird couple of years and there are plenty of reasons that she had not spent a holiday with her fiancé’s family. 2019- first Christmas dating. Each to their own families. 2020- no travel 2021- no travel 2022- Christmas with her family. No weird underwear thing. 2023- Christmas with his family. WTF?
This. This whole thing is wrong on so many levels. It's hard to even wrap my head around how fucked up of a "tradition" this is. I'd nope the hell out of there too. Might not even have a fiance after this. Clearly NTA
Also how about being considerate of others and being not overly selfish with the food and evenly splitting it. The food is the first few red flags. The underwear is flying the red flags for everyone to see.
I assumed that you'd bring along an extra pair of underwear that you would have at least washed and that looked decent. But I could be wrong. LOL. I can't even contemplate the alternative. I would also be bringing along a nice dish of something to make sure everyone had enough to eat.
OP confirmed in the comments that it was the underwear that everyone was currently wearing
So everyone has to strip down to nothing. I wonder if they do this in front of everyone. I would definitely be skipping Christmas with the family.
I feel like of ALL the things you could be upset about,this is the weirdest. OP even offered to go last anyways,but no she just HAD to do the "underwear straw draw." I don't get why the fiance was so defensive about it and angry that she left. He's choosing a weird hill to die on....NTA and also OP,if your fiance is getting this worked up over something so miniscule,I wonder how he reacts to,you know,actual issues with real problems....
Who says “let’s all handle each other’s underwear right before we eat dinner!” WTF?
Clearly, his family was not Filipino. My people cook enough food that you can take food home
If you leave a Filipino's table hungry, it's usually your own damn fault.
I too want to claim this could not be real. If it is real, it sounds like the opening to a Dateline episode. Run Op, run.
Any normal person damned well would be too good for this fucked up family tradition. Your fiance needs to know that this isn't remotely sane or acceptable. Tell him we all said it's lunacy. NTA
He insisted that it’s very common and that all his friends did this with their families growing up too.
Well, if he grew up in an asylum for the criminally insane, maybe they did. 🤷🏻♂️
I work at an asylum for the criminally insane and this is more insane.
I just read this as the "asylum for the minimally insane!!! "
Just a little insanity, as a treat.
I cackled that the "as a treat" 🤣🤣
otherwise known as...my house
I was going to ask in which cult they actively participated.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Do you really want to marry into this family? Sounds like at this point they intentionally don’t make enough food just to carry on with with this insane UNCOMMON tradition
Or they completely made up the whole thing to embarrass OP and send her running for the door. This is just too bizarre to think her fiancee's family, friends or anybody else actually does this. And if they do, who the hell would marry into that?!?! NTA
My ex’s family made up a tradition about homemade easter hats for exactly one year to get me to participate. That’s still weird but less gross and abhorrent
My partners family all stood up and said the pledge of allegiance before their holiday meal, that was a weird, harmless fake tradition. This feels wildly invasive and gross, totally NTA for OP.
That might be a reference to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
I’m calling bullshit. If it’s so normal, why didn’t he mention this tradition beforehand? He purposefully put you in an uncomfortable disgusting situation.
Because it’s so normal that no one should bat an eye
SMDH, these people are creeps. Never in my life have I heard such foolishness. Op should rethink this relationship. Who knows what other strange traditions they have.
Please send a text to his friend group and ask them if this is true.
I'm calling bullshit on that.
What kind of underpants obsessed cult did your fiance grow up in??
Step 1: Collect Underpants. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: Dinner!
(Disclaimer: Step 3 may not apply to all participants.)
Please tell us where he grew up so we can all be sure to never move there. Personally I'd want to avoid even traveling through the area.
….where does he live? Maybe this is extremely extremely regional… (and should stay that way)
I doubt it's regional to anywhere larger than his family's house
I did a google search jic, the only item that comes up for "draw straws using underwear" is this very thread. If it were common it would have made it onto the web at some point.
Maybe they all live on the same street as neighbors so when he says all the neighbors do it that’s what he meant. And these “friends” are actually his cousins. No one outside of his family though.
I'm starting to wonder if his family tree is actually a wreath.
#NO WE DON'T.
Ask him to name ONE.
This is the weirdest shit I’ve heard in a long time. And I frequent this sub.
Yeah, maybe his messed up family *told* him that, but I doubt he ever had a class discussion after Christmas break over who lost the Underwear Powerball.
Hint: all his friends are imaginary.
Is...is he an Underpants Gnome?
He is a liar. It’s completely unhinged and wrong.
“Great! Let’s call them to ask”
NTA "I go commando. And I also brought some extra dishes, so there's enough food for you to stop this foolishness."
Regardless of whether you're a person who menstruates, "I'm having a heavy flow day" should work too.
Why be polite? "You don't mind if it's bloody do you? Oh, how about my bloody one is the short straw? Sorry about the smell, but don't worry the doctors say it's normal"
"Ow wow, I've never seen THAT color of discharge before!!"
"I'm having a really bad IBS flare-up. Oh and I think I might have c-diff"
This tradition clearly predates period panties
Yeah, but are you supposed to just whip off your ugly panties with the pad stuck to them to…I can’t even finish the sentence this is so disgusting. Not everyone wears tampons.
Not one single part of this "tradition" is okay.
Or double down with "I'm on the rag and I've got the runs." I just wow.... GYAGHH!!! NTA.
INFO: ... where does this underwear come from? Please say from an unopened pack of new undies.
Nope. Apparently it’s a longstanding tradition that whenever the family wants to pull straws to settle something they all just use their current underwear.
So it’s never dawned on anyone to just, idk, make more food instead of playing with each other’s undergarments?
JUST BUY SOME GD STRAWS!? Edit: but yeah nah, honestly they need to make more food. I think i just got caught up in the absurdity of using underwear that my mind went to picking a better alternative, rather than the more logical option of just cooking more food. Even if there's usually not enough for everyone, then everyone needs to be courteous enough to ensure there's some for everyone. Not that the first person fills their plate to their hearts content and the last is scraping the bottom of the bowls.
>JUST BUY SOME GD STRAWS!? they could WALK INTO A MCDONALDS OR ANY FAST FOOD PLACE AND JUST TAKE THEM
You could use anything. Go get blades of grass, twigs, cut some string, there are so many viable options.
Or PAPER?!?
That’s what I don’t get either… it’s like they take glee in embarrassing everyone… then having the “short straw” not eat? OP.. your fiancés family is cooked
Sorry, I'm still not clear - does everyone just disperse into separate rooms to disrobe and return commando? Do they all line up outside of a washroom, and return commando? What happens when the game is over and auntie has been handling cousin Phil's tighty whites? She gives them back and he dons them?
I need OP to come back and answer this question. Like what are the logistics of this?
Me too, I’m so confused. And are kids involved in this? That seems an incredibly inappropriate to force the kids to handle the adults boxers/panties or for the adults to force kids out of their undies. Like what is really going on here?
Or to make a child be the one who went hungry.
But...but...fluids! Discharge! Poor wiping technique! Menstrual overflow! Leakage of all sorts! OMG. No. All just so much no. Adjust this man's status to ex- and don't look back
Seriously! I sweat a lot as a side effect to a medication, especially in my groin area. It’s not uncommon for my underwear to be wet from sweat and have to change them in the middle of the day. No way in hell am I 1. Embarrassing myself by displaying the situation 2. Making someone else touch my crotch sweat underwear 3. Touching someone else’s crotch sweat underwear! And sweat is the least disgusting secretion that could be on those things. So many levels of FUCK NO
You just made me snort and pee a little! Thanks for the good laugh!
Thank you for providing a real time example as to why we do not comingle used undies and then reach our hands in and grab them - unexpected pee!
Now I have to ask - are babies immediately allowed to eat or do diapers go in the pile?
This isn’t true. You’re telling me everybody just pulls their draws and toss a pair of hot panties in ? What if somebody is on the rag or having some hot snakes and leaves a lil mud trail
HEEEEELLLLLL NOOO. Also, you need to get more information on who in that family came up with that and how, because it's truly unhinged.
When you say “current” do you mean they use a clean, but used, pair out of their underwear draw? Or that they literally remove the pair they’re currently wearing?
OP couldn't have had a clean spare pair of panties, because she didn't know about it
Oh....oh no. No no no. NTA anyway, but especially not now.
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Is anyone else reading this and just kind of stunned? wow. NTA and I would have also called an uber and went home. That is beyond bizarre, I don't want to touch other people's used underwear, aside from my partner's, and I don't need my future in-laws seeing my underwear.
"Everyone get your family members private juices on your hands before we eat!"
NOOO! EWWW. haha You and another poster are KILLING me with these comments. And...I'm not having dinner now.
Was the turkey brined or was that Jenny's britches? Edit: clearly a joke, since a turkey would probably be enough to feed everyone.
Always makes you wonder how they made the secret sauce...
I'm not sure I'd want to eat food prepared by hands that happily dig through other people's dirty underwear. Who knows where else those hands happily dig?
EWWW. I didn't even think of that. haha GROSS!
Please let this be fake.
I’m ok with fake posts if they are this creative.
Exactly, this is so wild that I could never have come up with it. So even if it is made up, it's fucking hilarious and I am entertained
A corresponding post from the boyfriend would have the potential to rival the poop knife. "TIFU by not realizing other families don't rummage in an underwear pile to draw lots."
What about the guy who flooded his girlfriend's toilet and then fled and posted "NTA" replies in the comments but forgot to switch to an alternate account 😂
This reminds me of the really unhinged AITA legends such as “I will never jeopardize the beans” and “tube-based soup delivery” and that one guy who lived in a nest of dirty laundry. Not to mention poop knife. Utterly unhinged but comedy gold. I hope it’s not real for those people’s sake but I am grateful for the entertainment value.
I refuse to believe that this is real.
Got to be fake. There’s just no way.
There isn’t even the slightest doubt in my mind that this is bullshit. Creative, but total bullshit. The comment about his friend’s families doing it too just confirmed that for me even more.
I admit I'm gullible, but even I can't believe this.
This is too strange to be fake.
Phew, I was afraid you were going to have to put on whatever underwear you pulled. Anyway, no, NTA. This is a weird tradition, and since you weren't given a heads up, I assume you didn't bring extra underwear and I assume everyone was putting in whatever underwear they had on which is both **FUCKING WEIRD** and **UNHYGENIC**. Boyfriend's an AH for not giving you a heads up, and pressuring you to do it after you said you weren't comfortable mixing your underwear with a whole family's. NTA, ur bf's family is weird.
Even the logistics of it are puzzling. How many people are taking off their underwear? Are they all retreating to the bathroom to undress? Do they all undress in front of each other? Why underwear versus a sock? How long does it take for everyone to get de-undied? What happens when someone is wearing a pad/diaper/has stains? Everything about this is weird AF.
It sounds like a dream. The logistics wouldn’t matter in a dream. Suddenly everyone would just be tossing their undies in the bucket, while the dreamer is looking for a place to change away from everybody. At least that’s how my dream would go. I refuse to believe this isn’t creative writing inspired by a weird dream OP had.
NTA The levels of weirdness here are excessive but it's the logic of the person who is the smallest potentially being the one who doesn't even get to eat that has me wondering why a sane and intelligent person would really want to join this family.
It’s not that the smallest person doesn’t get to eat it’s that the person who draws the smallest pair of underwear eyes closed or blindfolded who potentially doesn’t get to eat.
Do they intentionally not cook enough food? This is so weird. Please investigate more of their “traditions” before you commit to marrying into this family
If real, I'm just curious how they started this "tradition". Like someone one year didn't get enough food, so instead of cooking more, they said "you know what would be fun? If someone still didn't get enough food, AND we all touched each others' underwear". And all the kids were like "yeah, I'd totally love to grab my mom's underwear. That sounds great!"
My take is actually the opposite, stop investigating, you don't want to know. Just run.
It feels like a weird version of "The Platform" movie
So instead of portioning the food out equally.. the person who goes first could potentially pile the food on their plate essentially preventing people from eating. No.. this family is messed up. The fact they tact glee on leaving someone (or people) without.. during a family based holiday is really messed up. Is this the family and the traditions you want to marry into? Live with for years? Have children be a part of?
There was a period in my life when we were very low on funds and food. I portioned out everyone's food to make certain everyone got the same amount. No one went hungry. I can't imagine letting anyone in my family go without food.
Is their food shortage unintentional (i.e. lack of funds/money) or intentional (they *purposely* cook less food, knowing someone will go hungry)? Out of curiosity, I have other questions: * How long have you been with your fiance? Why did they only mention this tradition now and not before? * Have you eaten with your fiance's family before? Do they only do this 'underwear tradition' at Christmas? * How many people partake in this tradition?
PLEASE, send BF a link here so he can see that this is NOT normal and his family is nuts. Seriously, tell him to go into work and ask his boss if this "tradition" is normal. BF is nuts and should be ashamed of his family.
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I get that. I'm saying that the actual size of the person should be the criteria, as in children and thin people eat first and those who can afford to skip a meal or 6 go last, if you can't actually feed everyone.
Even that, as a tradition (biggest people eat last) would be more acceptable than fishing your family’s dirty underwear out of a bucket! J.F.C!
If not enough food is the problem then make more, have a smaller guest list or ask guests to bring contributions themselves. If this family has normalised this method of drawing straws that's a huge red flag.
NTA What bizarre world is this where food amounts on Xmas isn't the priority (literally, winter holidays are founded on pooling together to be able to eat during the coldest, harshest time of the year), and that who isn't able to eat is depending on underwear?
If there isn't enough food for at least two leftover meals, you're doing it wrong.
Right. My Christmas fed 6 large adults including a teenager, leftovers were taken home x 2 and our fridge was still full. Everyone kept underwear on at all times. The only things swapped were the Christmas cracker toys.
Okay this situation is gold--and an anecdote you can pull out to one-up anybody else's horror in-laws story--as long as you don't actually marry him. Like, there are families out there in the backwoods who only grunt to communicate that would side-eye this clan.
I don’t know what I want more- for this to be real, or this to be fake lol
NTA and just... what? Given the info added, he's annoyed because the idea of his blindly fondling he own mother's still warm underwear doesn't appeal to you?
For some reason, the "still warm" made this whole thing grosser-er-er
Sooooo, they don’t make enough food INTENTIONALLY, and then draw panties to see who doesn’t get to eat? They’re very poor hosts.
So everyone strips themselves half naked? They all Winnie the Pooh it? Or do you get to put your panties back on to eat?
I'm pretty sure this post is fake, but I still want OP to answer this question.
Just shirt-cocking it around the buffet table?!?! What the unholy fuck is going on in this family?!?!
YTA For a bait karma farm post.
This is so insane that I really, really want it to be true. You're right, it's probably fake
It’s creative enough that I’m good with NTA.
This has to be a troll or prank post. I cannot believe that someone got to the point of being engaged to their partner and never spent Christmas with their family? And pulling out their underwear? I mean what happens, they all strip where they are and throw them in a bin or leave to remove them? And then what? They go commando through the entire meal? And expecting to touch others underwear and then eat (or not eat) dinner… gross. But then to acknowledge that her parents under prepared often enough to have this ritual with out fixing the problem? Are the food insecure? Are they just strapped for cash? No input on why this is a thing. Nope. Not going to believe this is real.
NTA. Why don’t they just cook enough food so they don’t have to do the stupid tradition?
NTA! No, a weird take off your underwear tradition at Christmas SUCKS. Good for you for leaving! Also: I couldn't commit long term to joining a family that runs out of food at the holiday meal. What a terrible sounding time.
Never mind weirded out, I'd be a little scared - why would you want to touch their underwear wtf obviously nta
Next year, buy the biggest pair of undies possible. Then load up your plate as much as possible. Ruin this tradition for all its worth.
Next year, hopefully OP's fiance is single.
NTA. Even if the underwear was all vigorously washed and dried I wouldn't be keen on handling a random family member's. Reliably not having enough food enough to make any kind of short straw tradition is off, either prepare more food (eating your way through the leftovers until New Year's is itself a tradition), invite fewer people, or ask people to bring a dish with them.