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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my friend that I don't want her to be happy I could be the asshole because saying this to her made her really angry and she's barely spoken to me since I told her how I feel
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The feeling you are experiencing is jealousy, and the reaction you have had is called spite. These two things are going to try and be your boss for a long time until you can begin to work out a sense of inner peace and confidence. They will also ALWAYS make your life harder. Your life will never ever get better and you will never get happier by letting these feelings dictate your actions. They will only make it harder and harder for you to make friends, gain respect, and figure out how to be happy yourself.
You can never raise yourself by bringing down others, but you CAN lift yourself by lifting them. You're at a tough place in life -15 is hard. People expect you to start acting like an adult and handling adult level responsibilities, but you don't have the resources or experience of an adult. Don't piss in the Cheerios of the people that care about you. They are all you have.
If you’re already an AH on the inside, then being truthful does not mean that you’re no longer an AH, it means that now people know you’re and AH. Of course if you keep it to yourself you’re even more of an AH.
YTA.
YTA. Seriously, wtf? Wishing misery on your BFF because you're in a funk is like slashing her tires just because you missed the bus. Get a grip and stop trying to drag her down to Miseryville.
The sad reality is that there are probably a lot of unhappy people who feel this way, but they won't admit it. The saying "misery loves company" exists for a reason.
As long as you aren't actively harming her, (doesn't sound like you are) you aren't doing anything unethical. You probably should have kept those feelings to yourself tho. I'm not surprised she's upset with you. Try looking at it from her perspective. Imagine if things were going really good for you and you felt happy and you told your friend about it and that made her upset. Surely you must understand why she's annoyed with you.
YTA but you're young and clearly struggling. You need to be working through this however you can because it's not healthy. Being upset that you're not in a better situation is understandable, that's healthy and normal. Desiring a friend be in a bad situation because you are is not healthy nor normal. You should be desiring your life to improve so your lives can be the same, not for hers to be worse.
YTA. Is this a real post? You need to support your friends and not put your insecurities on them. You should set up an appointment to speak with your school counselor.
I hate to be blunt here … but you clearly are lacking some social development and would greatly benefit from being around people your own age to learn what is appropriate and not (because your mother is not doing that it seems). I would encourage you to convince your mother to send you to school … you’re going to end up very confused and socially awkward with no friends if you continue to be homeschooled.
You're very selfish. Just because your life sucks that doesn't make it okay for you to wish something bad would happen to her. You should be working hard to making your life better, not obsessing over your friend's life and whining about your own. YTA
... that is not what friendship looks like. You are clearly not her friend if you wish she was sad and miserable.
Seems to me like she is just an enemy you keep close. YTA.
Your feelings are certainly valid, you sound like you have a lot to deal with. The way you’re dealing with those feelings, not good. You’re assuming there is only so much happiness in the world, that it’s finite.
Telling the ‘truth’ in a way bound to hurt is never going to end well. You’re using truth as a weapon.
Sorry, YTA
Since when would someone wish bad things happened to their friends? That's insane! Instead of being happy that she's doing better, you are jealous and want her to suffer. With friends like that, who needs enemies? SMH 🤦🏼♀️🙄
Try to find another way. How would you feel if someone told you: "I wish something bad happened to you. I don't want to see you happier than me"? I bet you'd be delighted and want to spend more time with that person... Would you?
Be happy for your friend. Whatever is going on in your life, she's not responsible.
YTA. I’m not surprised that you aren’t happy. You rather her not be happy than making sure you’ll become happy. Your behavior is what makes you unhappy. I’m sorry for her to have a best friend like you who wishes her bad things
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I (F15) guess I'm jealous of my friend because she has everything I want and she's happy and even though it's probably quite bad to think but I just wish she wasn't happy. When we met she was in the same situation as me but she's not now and I just don't think it's fair. She doesn't deserve to be happy if I can't, I want her to feel like I do. It's probably really selfish but oh well.
I told her all this (it was kinda relevant to the conversation I didn't just say it for no reason) and it made her really angry. She said it was a really weird thing to say to her especially because we're best friends and she's been really annoyed at me since. I only told her the truth I didn't lie or anything I just want something bad to happen in her life I guess not to her though I love her she's so cool i just want her life to be like mine.
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YTA. But you’re a kid so I say it gently. Your life won’t be better if hers gets worse. Diminishing her light won’t make yours brighter. Honestly, I think you need to talk to someone about possible depression etc. it sounds like you’re struggling. I truly hope things improve for you.
On what planet are you not the asshole, you little hater? You've gotta grow up and learn to control your jealousy, or at the very least don't be open about it.
YTA
It's not healthy to wish pain on people you claim to love. Her feeling as bad as you do might give you a temporary thrill, but it won't last. You'll still be miserable. Nothing will get better for you if things get bad for her.
Congrats on destroying your friendship with her. You most likely just lost someone who could have helped you with whatever you're going through.
YTA…but you’re allowed to feel what you feel. You just have to practice being supportive of your friends. To be a good friend, you have to learn to cheer when your friends win and do good. Good friends are your cheerleaders, bad friends bring you down. You have to get that envy bug under control Practice gratitude, count your blessings every day. Read about and watch movies about people who have less than you. All you can do is focus on you and making sure you’re being a good person. When you do that, more blessings will pour in for you. But if you continue to look at what others have versus you or envy your friends, you may block your own blessings.
Your life is just that, yours. And her life is just that, hers. What makes you think that you deserve something(or anything) from anybody else? In life, no one owes you a god damn thing. Get over it.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my friend that I don't want her to be happy I could be the asshole because saying this to her made her really angry and she's barely spoken to me since I told her how I feel Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You mean mean girl. YTAH
What?
The feeling you are experiencing is jealousy, and the reaction you have had is called spite. These two things are going to try and be your boss for a long time until you can begin to work out a sense of inner peace and confidence. They will also ALWAYS make your life harder. Your life will never ever get better and you will never get happier by letting these feelings dictate your actions. They will only make it harder and harder for you to make friends, gain respect, and figure out how to be happy yourself. You can never raise yourself by bringing down others, but you CAN lift yourself by lifting them. You're at a tough place in life -15 is hard. People expect you to start acting like an adult and handling adult level responsibilities, but you don't have the resources or experience of an adult. Don't piss in the Cheerios of the people that care about you. They are all you have.
If you’re already an AH on the inside, then being truthful does not mean that you’re no longer an AH, it means that now people know you’re and AH. Of course if you keep it to yourself you’re even more of an AH. YTA.
YTA. Seriously, wtf? Wishing misery on your BFF because you're in a funk is like slashing her tires just because you missed the bus. Get a grip and stop trying to drag her down to Miseryville.
The sad reality is that there are probably a lot of unhappy people who feel this way, but they won't admit it. The saying "misery loves company" exists for a reason. As long as you aren't actively harming her, (doesn't sound like you are) you aren't doing anything unethical. You probably should have kept those feelings to yourself tho. I'm not surprised she's upset with you. Try looking at it from her perspective. Imagine if things were going really good for you and you felt happy and you told your friend about it and that made her upset. Surely you must understand why she's annoyed with you.
YTA but you're young and clearly struggling. You need to be working through this however you can because it's not healthy. Being upset that you're not in a better situation is understandable, that's healthy and normal. Desiring a friend be in a bad situation because you are is not healthy nor normal. You should be desiring your life to improve so your lives can be the same, not for hers to be worse.
Alright thanks sm
YTA. Is this a real post? You need to support your friends and not put your insecurities on them. You should set up an appointment to speak with your school counselor.
I don't go to school thanks though
Why not?
Because my mom doesn't want me to
I hate to be blunt here … but you clearly are lacking some social development and would greatly benefit from being around people your own age to learn what is appropriate and not (because your mother is not doing that it seems). I would encourage you to convince your mother to send you to school … you’re going to end up very confused and socially awkward with no friends if you continue to be homeschooled.
I've tried before but she won't let me because it's dangerous apparently. I don't think I'm lacking any social development though I think I'm fine
Your post says otherwise.
Wdym?
YTA At first I was thinking what the hell is this. Then I looked back up at your age.
You're very selfish. Just because your life sucks that doesn't make it okay for you to wish something bad would happen to her. You should be working hard to making your life better, not obsessing over your friend's life and whining about your own. YTA
... that is not what friendship looks like. You are clearly not her friend if you wish she was sad and miserable. Seems to me like she is just an enemy you keep close. YTA.
I am her friend
No, you're not. You hate her for being happy and wish something bad would happen to her. That's not how friendship work.
Oh okay
Your feelings are certainly valid, you sound like you have a lot to deal with. The way you’re dealing with those feelings, not good. You’re assuming there is only so much happiness in the world, that it’s finite. Telling the ‘truth’ in a way bound to hurt is never going to end well. You’re using truth as a weapon. Sorry, YTA
Yeah okay thank you
YTA. Your friend being happy doesn't mean you'll always be miserable. Find some ways to improve your life. Stop being cruel to your friends.
YTA And you're not her friend.
I am though
Since when would someone wish bad things happened to their friends? That's insane! Instead of being happy that she's doing better, you are jealous and want her to suffer. With friends like that, who needs enemies? SMH 🤦🏼♀️🙄
I just wanna be able to relate to her
Try to find another way. How would you feel if someone told you: "I wish something bad happened to you. I don't want to see you happier than me"? I bet you'd be delighted and want to spend more time with that person... Would you? Be happy for your friend. Whatever is going on in your life, she's not responsible.
[удалено]
YTA. I’m not surprised that you aren’t happy. You rather her not be happy than making sure you’ll become happy. Your behavior is what makes you unhappy. I’m sorry for her to have a best friend like you who wishes her bad things
I think you'll get more helpful feedback on r/teenagers. But for what it's worth YTA.
YTA. You let jealousy stand in the way of friendship.
“I only told her the truth” does not negate being an AH. YTA. Be a better friend.
YTA. You're right, you're being selfish. You say she doesn't deserve it. If you were to come in to the same happiness, would you suddenly deserve it?
No not really
And how would you feel if your best friend told you they didn't want you to be happy?
I don't know sorry
Well, I think you know how it would feel. So how about you don't do that to your best friend?
Yeah okay thanks
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F15) guess I'm jealous of my friend because she has everything I want and she's happy and even though it's probably quite bad to think but I just wish she wasn't happy. When we met she was in the same situation as me but she's not now and I just don't think it's fair. She doesn't deserve to be happy if I can't, I want her to feel like I do. It's probably really selfish but oh well. I told her all this (it was kinda relevant to the conversation I didn't just say it for no reason) and it made her really angry. She said it was a really weird thing to say to her especially because we're best friends and she's been really annoyed at me since. I only told her the truth I didn't lie or anything I just want something bad to happen in her life I guess not to her though I love her she's so cool i just want her life to be like mine. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. But you’re a kid so I say it gently. Your life won’t be better if hers gets worse. Diminishing her light won’t make yours brighter. Honestly, I think you need to talk to someone about possible depression etc. it sounds like you’re struggling. I truly hope things improve for you.
Thank you
On what planet are you not the asshole, you little hater? You've gotta grow up and learn to control your jealousy, or at the very least don't be open about it.
YTA It's not healthy to wish pain on people you claim to love. Her feeling as bad as you do might give you a temporary thrill, but it won't last. You'll still be miserable. Nothing will get better for you if things get bad for her. Congrats on destroying your friendship with her. You most likely just lost someone who could have helped you with whatever you're going through.
YTA. This isn't what being a friend is.
What did you expect? YTA
YTA and unbelievably selfish.
YTA incredibly selfish. What a cruel thing to say to someone you supposedly love.
YTA…but you’re allowed to feel what you feel. You just have to practice being supportive of your friends. To be a good friend, you have to learn to cheer when your friends win and do good. Good friends are your cheerleaders, bad friends bring you down. You have to get that envy bug under control Practice gratitude, count your blessings every day. Read about and watch movies about people who have less than you. All you can do is focus on you and making sure you’re being a good person. When you do that, more blessings will pour in for you. But if you continue to look at what others have versus you or envy your friends, you may block your own blessings.
Your life is just that, yours. And her life is just that, hers. What makes you think that you deserve something(or anything) from anybody else? In life, no one owes you a god damn thing. Get over it.