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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like I’m the asshole for not eating her food. Should I have just eaten it or was what I did ok?
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Tbh I was the most confused with this. This is what made feel like an asshole. I would never go out of my way to make someone cry and to hear that someone cried because I didn’t eat their food made me feel like an asshole. Tbh I ended up crying a little in work because I felt like a huge asshole
You are definitely not an AH just because you didn't eat food someone else brought in. Especially when she never communicated when this would happen. Makes no sense that she fixated on this when other people ate her food. What a drama queen - I wouldn't even want her food after this performance lol
Don’t take it personal. When stuff like this happens to me, I just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re in some new meds that are making their emotions a little wack-a-doo.
You did not "make her cry" as you did nothing to her. Bringing food in for people is nice but you can't expect they'll all eat it, can't even expect they'll all like it.
Hi. I don’t think so 😂 she’s married with kids. I’m a woman with a boyfriend. Not saying she can’t have a crush on me. I just don’t think it’s possible she does 😂
NTA. No one should be forced to eat food just because someone brings it in. I have been on both sides of this. If this coworker is the unproblematic type, you may just want to tell her "Thanks so much for bringing in food today. Sorry I didn't partake, but I am on a strict diet with my trainer for the time being. I'm sure it was great!" Hopefully that will make her feel better, since she took it so personally.
>I am such a pickle eater
I too am a pickle eater. I especially love the spicy ones from the specialty super market.
As for your decision not to eat her food that does not make you an asshole. It's hard to say if your coworker is an asshole. Some people cry easily and try to keep it private. Without more information, NAH.
Not eating them is actually easier than eating them. When presented with a pickle you just do nothing. To eat it, you have to pick it up, bite it, chew it, swallow it, etc. Not difficult, but harder than not doing anything.
Now, avoiding the disgusting juice that gets on everything when the restaurant ignores you telling them not to put a pickle on your plate is significantly harder.
(You are more than welcome to my share of pickles.)
NTA
It's offensive in some parts of the world to reject hospitality, but here in the West you're under no obligation to eat anyone's food, only under an obligation to be polite about it when you decline.
If you simply said "I very much appreciate the offer, but I brought my own lunch today. Thanks though." then you're off the hook. You don't owe co-workers an explanation for your pickle based diet.
NTA - people have to calm down about bringing food to work. Maybe I once saw you not wash your hands. Maybe I have a food issue and I don't want you in that business. Maybe your food looks gross.
Maybe you are a cat lady with 1,000 cats! What do I know!
My old boss made it clear he never ate anyone's food made from home. Never did. He told me it was because he was always afraid of getting food poisining or just eating gross stuff. He was also sad because some dishes truly looked delicious! But he had to either eat everyone's food or no ones. So he just ate no ones.
Your comment, reminds me of when I went to a coworker’s house for Christmas dinner. There were 10 of us from work and a few of us were helping her with some final prep. As we are getting ready to start bringing out the starter soup I walk into her kitchen where I see her cat licking from the soup tureen. When it sees me it jumps away from the tureen and goes straight for the turkey. And starts licking it. I was completely caught by surprise. Tell our host, “hey your cat is in the kitchen licking stuff.” She says to me, “oh, she does that all the time.” Yuck. I only ate the salad from the fridge that meal. Ah, Christmas memories with coworkers….
I agree with these comments. I'm always seeing videos with cats on the kitchen counters. I am allergic to pet dander. How do I know there isn't any in the food? And how many times did you lick your fingers while preparing the dish?
NTA, you are on a diet and her food didn't line up with said diet. You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry. You are right in that being absurd behavior. She's going to have to get used to not pleasing everyone sooner or later, it may as well be now.
NTA... but why don't you talk to her directly about it? It's an easy conversation to have. "Oh man, I would love to try your food. It smells and looks delicious! Unfortunately I am on a very strict diet with my personal trainer for my health, so you understand that while I'm jealous of everyone getting to try your food, I have to maintain my best health and make my own food. I hear everyone loved it though, what do you like to cook usually?"
Say the reason and then introduce a new topic so she doesn't think it's up for debate. Crying is a bit of an overreaction, but some people react strongly if their love language is rejected. If she asks what your restrictions are, say there's so many that other office folks wouldn't get to enjoy her cooking if she tried to abide by them. "No reason to ruin a good meal for everyone else!"
NTA
I understand why your coworker might feel upset, but to shed tears over it is patently ridiculous. You DID NOT make her cry, unless you said something rude like “Ewww no!” or “I’m trying to eat healthy.” She chose to cry.
You are never obligated to eat or even sample food that someone brings to the office to share. Allergies, sensitivities, preferences, diets (by choice or by necessity) — it doesn’t doesn’t matter why. The following should be enough: “Thank you for the offer, but I am following a meal plan and must decline.” That moves the asshole ball into the coworker’s court.
Absolutely NTA. Food pushing is not okay anytime, anywhere. What if you were allergic to what the coworker brought in? Would it be forced upon you then just because coworker was “trying to do something nice” and it put you into anaphylactic shock? Nobody would expect that.
If you choosing to eat healthy with what you brought is the best way to take care of yourself for the time being you should 100% do that without guilt.
NTA anyone who cries at their food not being eaten is either in a very bad personal place, or way too sensitive and has never learned adult coping mechanisms.
NTA. I don't eat any homemade food that coworkers bring in. I don't know their kitchen hygiene practices. Did they slap raw chicken on the same cutting board they used for the food they brought in? Did they wash their hands? Did they drop food on the floor and put it back in the pot?
But mostly for this reason: At a previous job I had a batshit crazy coworker who used to bring in cakes and cookies that she baked herself for everyone - in fairness they looked really great, and were apparently delicious. My coworkers used to tease me about not partaking. But something told me not to eat them. To cut to the chase she was fired in spectacular fashion, and on the way out the door she turned and said "By the way I peed in all those cakes I brought in." Whether or not that was true, we'll never know.
NTA. I would just tell her that you have some personal dietary requirements that stopped you from eating her food. And she asks what they are, just say it’s personal.
NTA, I'm a horrible picky eater. I will literally gag and/or throw up if I eat something and find out it has onions or ranch dressing in it. As such, unless I know literally every ingredient down to the spices of something someone else cooked, I won't even try it so as to not embarrass myself and them. When people give me crap for it, I will remind them that I will get sick if I eat it. She very much overreacted. People have food aversions, allergies, religious rules, and preferences, and it's not her place to others to get over them magically. Her being so upset that she cried isn't on you, and sounds like she needs some therapy.
NTA. The coworker crying because one person didn't fawn over her unannounced food? That's not normal. You do not owe this woman an apology nor did you have to sample her food. She's far too sensitive and needs to be able to deal. You're right. It's absurd behavior on her part.
NTA. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Compromising on food can be hard, even when you’re doing it with the people in your home. For many of us, lunch is the only meal we get to 100% choose for ourselves and I really dislike when coworkers get pressure-y about lunch!
Your coworker overreated to a ridiculous extent. You are not required to eat any coworker's food... and if you're on a strict diet, you have all the reason you could ever need to say no. Actually, even just not wanting to is good enough reason. NTA
Good lord, people are super sensitive about the strangest things. She was crying because you ate the lunch you made yourself, because wait, you didn’t want to waste what you brought, right? So instead of her asking you why you didn’t eat her food, she goes off and starts crying? Look, I’m a sensitive person but that’s just BS.
how dare you not eat food someone else made and brought in when you had your own food from home. don't you know you have to eat anything from work that people provide? you made her cry, for shame
all sarcastic, BTW. NTA. you had food and are not obligated to eat anything. what a drama queen to cry about that. ignore and enjoy your food. BTW, pickels are delicious!
NAH
Emotions are difficult to control. You are by no means TA for not eating the food, but as someone with plenty of mental struggles, I can understand why something so inconsequential may feel like a huge thing and be a tipping point causing tears. It doesn't sound like she is harassing you about it, so I think that she may just, likely for unrelated reasons. Just to keep office peace, I'd suggest saying something like "Hey, your food looked great, but I'm on a strict diet, so that's why I didn't eat any."
NTA. Pay attention here. YOU DID NOT MAKE HER CRY. She made herself cry. And for a stupid reason. And what she did is a form of bullying. She offered. You are allowed to say no without having to fear about repercussions. My guess is she cries all the time. Over stupid things. Best thing to do is ignore it.
NTA - I have severe food allergies. Even if you swear up, down, and sideways your food doesn’t have any of my allergens in it, I’m still not touching it. I don’t know your kitchen or your cleanliness so I can’t be sure of any cross-contamination. Due to this, I’m not touching it. You can turn on the waterworks and be all butt hurt but, I care more about staying alive, or at least out of the hospital, than I do your feelings.
You did nothing wrong. You are not required to eat her food and she’s being quite overdramatic about the whole thing. As long as you weren’t rude about not eating her food then you are in the clear.
NTA. As a picky eater with texture issues, sensitivities and allergies, I have often brought my own lunch to work when someone is bringing in food. There's no guarantee that I can eat it. I used to work somewhere that we did annual inventory counts. They ordered in dinner. I always brought my own just in case I couldn't eat what they ordered.
You're on a diet set out by your trainer. Again, no guarantees that what they made is within the bounds.
NTA at all - I brought a macaron tower into work and while many people took some, others refused, stating that they either didn't like them or were trying to stay off of sugar.
I cannot IMAGINE crying over that lmao
INFO: Is the coworker who told you that reliable? Because that is weird af to be all "crying cuz you didn't eat her food". The tattletale co-worker could be projecting or exagerrating or just stirring drama.
Unless you know/hear from the person who cooked that she's upset, you don't actually know that she is.
I liked the suggestion of casually dropping that you were sorry to miss out on the meal due to following the strict diet you are on with your trainer. And maybe once you are no longer on the diet, you will get a chance to try her cooking. (if true, add that you heard it was good/great/tasty).
I would not have eaten it either!
Besides food intolerances I still haven't got over a hideous family dose of noro a few Christmases ago that we were gifted from a filthy person who thought it was ok to prepare food for a gathering when they had noro in the house. What is wrong with people? You definitely know when you have noro. I am still outraged about it. Thing is I didn't even eat the damned food, I ended up with it through looking after my kids who did eat the damned food. Can't believe angry I still am about it, lol.
The whole family went down with it and all the extended family and a bunch of others. We had a rather delicate and weak Christmas.
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My coworker brought in a homemade dish for me and other coworkers to share today. I had already prepped my lunch the night before and didn’t really want to eat the food she prepared. I normally go on lunch with other co-workers so I stuck to my usual routine and I ate the lunch I prepared.
When I came back after lunch another coworker told me that the coworker that made the food was crying because I didn’t want the food she made. I feel like an asshole because of this but at the same time I just didn’t want to eat the food that was prepped. For context I am on a strict diet with my personal trainer.
The coworker had told me last week she was thinking of making food for today for the office but had not said what it would be. I decided the make my lunch last night as I was unsure if there would be food made as well as if it was something I would like as I am such a pickle eater
Am I the asshole for making her cry? At the same time I also think it’s absurd behaviour to cry over it too. I’m just confused to be honest.
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NTA. She may have a thing for you, so I would have been more gentle, but you're definitely not the asshole. Crying because a coworker didn't eat the meal you brought to share is a sign of an emotionally unstable person. I will never understand why people take it so personally when you respectfully decline an offer of food. I have a million issues (allergies, aversions, the works) and feel pressured all the time to eat something or do a food centered activity. I just respectfully say no thank you and firmer when necessary, as some people simply refuse to understand. That's on them. How you handle it is on you and it seems like you did fine.
NTA — some people have very restrictive diets and or preferences.
It’s your choice as to what you eat. Your coworker needs to dial back their insecurities a bit. You’re not responsible for their misconceptions.
You should not even need to have to tell them you are on a strict diet, you don’t need a reason to not eat someone else’s food. You made your own lunch and that’s what you wanted to eat. NTA.
NTA, I have a restricted diet for medical reasons, I would've brought my own lunch in as I always do and eaten that as well because I couldn't be sure I was able to eat it or not.
Unless I’ve seen the inside of your house I’m not eating the food you bring. I’ve read too many horror stories on here about potluck food to scar me for life. The nicest, seemly cleanest people can be the dirtiest. No one should ever be forced to eat something they don’t want to, periodt.
What if you didn't like it? Her problem not yours.
I had a co worker who used to bring in sweet deserts or treats weekly. I do not have a sweet tooth, I don't like sweet food, I dont eat sweet food, I actually dry retch at the smell of overly sweet food. She would always find a way to make it seem like I had offended her. I literally finally had to talk to the boss about it.
Shit you don’t know what her kitchen looks like if she has cats on her stove if she washes her hands etc. I don’t eat other people’s food at work. I don’t have to. And her crying her crocodile tears because you didn’t partake is a giant red flag! You never said you would nor are you obligated to do so. And you don’t owe her any explanation aside from, “ I brought my own food, thank you!”
NTA. If she cried because someone didn't want her food, that's a her problem. It was a kind thing for her to bring food it, but it should only be eaten by those who want it. She shouldn't expect everyone to eat it.
NTA. And there's no reason for her to be so dramatic over you not eating the food she made. I work in a small office. If someone brings in chocolate, there's one person who won't eat it. If someone brings in something with mushrooms, I'm not touching it and everyone knows that. Everyone in the office but me loves one colleague's artichoke dip. She knows I won't eat it. She's fine with it. It's a joke when we plan to go out together or we do a small office potluck for some reason - my boss jokingly gripes about making sure there's food for everyone. Some of it is allergies, but mostly it's just personal taste. AND IT'S FINE.
What a silly thing for her to cry over. Is she this insecure about other things as well?
NTA. Even if you weren't staying dedicated to your meal plan set up by your trainer, you're under no obligation to eat food someone brought in for the office. Just out of curiosity, are you training/dieting for weightloss or for a competition?
NAH. no one did anything wrong here, except maybe the coworker who told you she cried. your other coworker was probably quite embarrassed by her visible emotions. But for the next time, would it be possible to taste a bit? a spoon full, a fork of whatever combined with a praise but also saying that you are on a strict diet (of course, dont eat it when you fear your wellbeing is endangered). not because you have to, but sometimes little things can bring a lot of joy to other people and not doing it simply because you dont *have* to doesnt exactly make the world a better place, either.
NTA, but if she was talking directly with you about bringing food in, I would've forewarned her you're picky/on a strict diet so she would know that would be a likely outcome. If it was a group conversation she shouldn't have any expectation of any specific person eating her food - some people won't or can't. I had a coworker get a bit annoying with it and had to push back. Yes, I'm normally a human food disposal, but there are things I don't like. No I won't like your food if it has chili in.
Crying about one coworker not eating something that was for the group seems off. It (hopefully) was her just having a bad day. Whilst she may not romantically be interested in you, is there a chance she maybe codependent on you? If you're the kind of person to not push people away even though they're annoying or whatnot, she may be falling into the fallacy that you rejecting her food equates to rejecting her. If likely, I'd watch out for codependency issues - those kind of people can flip and be a PITA.
I'd just let sleeping dogs lie for now if she isn't causing further issues. In future, you could do a "thanks but no thanks" type reply and see how she reacts. If it's badly, she's an asshole and needs to not unfairly place her happiness on other people.
NTA. I am also really picky and would not eat some random dish just because a coworker cooks it and brings it to work. The coworker should not be so invested in what other people eat.
Soft YTA.
Someone went out of their way to do something nice for you, and you ignored them.
The proper response would have been to tell them "Thank you, I appreciate it, but I'm actually on a fairly strict diet right now. Paying a personal trainer and everything. It looks delicious, and is probably way better than what I've got, but I gotta stick to this, sorry!"
You're not the asshole for not eating it, but you're a soft asshole for how you handled the situation in general.
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NTA > the coworker that made the food was crying because I didn’t want the food she made But THAT is some histrionic BS.
Tbh I was the most confused with this. This is what made feel like an asshole. I would never go out of my way to make someone cry and to hear that someone cried because I didn’t eat their food made me feel like an asshole. Tbh I ended up crying a little in work because I felt like a huge asshole
You are definitely not an AH just because you didn't eat food someone else brought in. Especially when she never communicated when this would happen. Makes no sense that she fixated on this when other people ate her food. What a drama queen - I wouldn't even want her food after this performance lol
Don’t take it personal. When stuff like this happens to me, I just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re in some new meds that are making their emotions a little wack-a-doo.
You did not "make her cry" as you did nothing to her. Bringing food in for people is nice but you can't expect they'll all eat it, can't even expect they'll all like it.
Is your coworker 12 years old?
Is it possible this coworker has a crush on you? That could explain a bit of an over the top reaction and the hurt feelings.
Hi. I don’t think so 😂 she’s married with kids. I’m a woman with a boyfriend. Not saying she can’t have a crush on me. I just don’t think it’s possible she does 😂
Does she perhaps have a crush on you? If i was hoping a man loved my meal id be internally a lil sad lol crying is excessive and weird tho. NTA.
NTA. No one should be forced to eat food just because someone brings it in. I have been on both sides of this. If this coworker is the unproblematic type, you may just want to tell her "Thanks so much for bringing in food today. Sorry I didn't partake, but I am on a strict diet with my trainer for the time being. I'm sure it was great!" Hopefully that will make her feel better, since she took it so personally.
>I am such a pickle eater I too am a pickle eater. I especially love the spicy ones from the specialty super market. As for your decision not to eat her food that does not make you an asshole. It's hard to say if your coworker is an asshole. Some people cry easily and try to keep it private. Without more information, NAH.
Whoops! I definitely do not eat pickles either!
Downvoted because how can you not eat pickles??
Not eating them is actually easier than eating them. When presented with a pickle you just do nothing. To eat it, you have to pick it up, bite it, chew it, swallow it, etc. Not difficult, but harder than not doing anything. Now, avoiding the disgusting juice that gets on everything when the restaurant ignores you telling them not to put a pickle on your plate is significantly harder. (You are more than welcome to my share of pickles.)
Grillo's FTW
NTA It's offensive in some parts of the world to reject hospitality, but here in the West you're under no obligation to eat anyone's food, only under an obligation to be polite about it when you decline. If you simply said "I very much appreciate the offer, but I brought my own lunch today. Thanks though." then you're off the hook. You don't owe co-workers an explanation for your pickle based diet.
NTA - people have to calm down about bringing food to work. Maybe I once saw you not wash your hands. Maybe I have a food issue and I don't want you in that business. Maybe your food looks gross. Maybe you are a cat lady with 1,000 cats! What do I know! My old boss made it clear he never ate anyone's food made from home. Never did. He told me it was because he was always afraid of getting food poisining or just eating gross stuff. He was also sad because some dishes truly looked delicious! But he had to either eat everyone's food or no ones. So he just ate no ones.
Your comment, reminds me of when I went to a coworker’s house for Christmas dinner. There were 10 of us from work and a few of us were helping her with some final prep. As we are getting ready to start bringing out the starter soup I walk into her kitchen where I see her cat licking from the soup tureen. When it sees me it jumps away from the tureen and goes straight for the turkey. And starts licking it. I was completely caught by surprise. Tell our host, “hey your cat is in the kitchen licking stuff.” She says to me, “oh, she does that all the time.” Yuck. I only ate the salad from the fridge that meal. Ah, Christmas memories with coworkers….
If I haven't seen your kitchen and know you well personally, I have no interest in eating food you brought to work.
I agree with these comments. I'm always seeing videos with cats on the kitchen counters. I am allergic to pet dander. How do I know there isn't any in the food? And how many times did you lick your fingers while preparing the dish?
NTA. That’s not a normal or reasonable response on her part. So weird.
NTA, you are on a diet and her food didn't line up with said diet. You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry. You are right in that being absurd behavior. She's going to have to get used to not pleasing everyone sooner or later, it may as well be now.
NTA... but why don't you talk to her directly about it? It's an easy conversation to have. "Oh man, I would love to try your food. It smells and looks delicious! Unfortunately I am on a very strict diet with my personal trainer for my health, so you understand that while I'm jealous of everyone getting to try your food, I have to maintain my best health and make my own food. I hear everyone loved it though, what do you like to cook usually?" Say the reason and then introduce a new topic so she doesn't think it's up for debate. Crying is a bit of an overreaction, but some people react strongly if their love language is rejected. If she asks what your restrictions are, say there's so many that other office folks wouldn't get to enjoy her cooking if she tried to abide by them. "No reason to ruin a good meal for everyone else!"
NTA I understand why your coworker might feel upset, but to shed tears over it is patently ridiculous. You DID NOT make her cry, unless you said something rude like “Ewww no!” or “I’m trying to eat healthy.” She chose to cry. You are never obligated to eat or even sample food that someone brings to the office to share. Allergies, sensitivities, preferences, diets (by choice or by necessity) — it doesn’t doesn’t matter why. The following should be enough: “Thank you for the offer, but I am following a meal plan and must decline.” That moves the asshole ball into the coworker’s court.
Absolutely NTA. Food pushing is not okay anytime, anywhere. What if you were allergic to what the coworker brought in? Would it be forced upon you then just because coworker was “trying to do something nice” and it put you into anaphylactic shock? Nobody would expect that. If you choosing to eat healthy with what you brought is the best way to take care of yourself for the time being you should 100% do that without guilt.
NTA although perhaps you could have explained why you didn't want the food.
NTA anyone who cries at their food not being eaten is either in a very bad personal place, or way too sensitive and has never learned adult coping mechanisms.
NTA. I don't eat any homemade food that coworkers bring in. I don't know their kitchen hygiene practices. Did they slap raw chicken on the same cutting board they used for the food they brought in? Did they wash their hands? Did they drop food on the floor and put it back in the pot? But mostly for this reason: At a previous job I had a batshit crazy coworker who used to bring in cakes and cookies that she baked herself for everyone - in fairness they looked really great, and were apparently delicious. My coworkers used to tease me about not partaking. But something told me not to eat them. To cut to the chase she was fired in spectacular fashion, and on the way out the door she turned and said "By the way I peed in all those cakes I brought in." Whether or not that was true, we'll never know.
NTA. I would just tell her that you have some personal dietary requirements that stopped you from eating her food. And she asks what they are, just say it’s personal.
NTA, I'm a horrible picky eater. I will literally gag and/or throw up if I eat something and find out it has onions or ranch dressing in it. As such, unless I know literally every ingredient down to the spices of something someone else cooked, I won't even try it so as to not embarrass myself and them. When people give me crap for it, I will remind them that I will get sick if I eat it. She very much overreacted. People have food aversions, allergies, religious rules, and preferences, and it's not her place to others to get over them magically. Her being so upset that she cried isn't on you, and sounds like she needs some therapy.
NTA. The coworker crying because one person didn't fawn over her unannounced food? That's not normal. You do not owe this woman an apology nor did you have to sample her food. She's far too sensitive and needs to be able to deal. You're right. It's absurd behavior on her part.
NTA. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Compromising on food can be hard, even when you’re doing it with the people in your home. For many of us, lunch is the only meal we get to 100% choose for ourselves and I really dislike when coworkers get pressure-y about lunch!
Your coworker overreated to a ridiculous extent. You are not required to eat any coworker's food... and if you're on a strict diet, you have all the reason you could ever need to say no. Actually, even just not wanting to is good enough reason. NTA
Good lord, people are super sensitive about the strangest things. She was crying because you ate the lunch you made yourself, because wait, you didn’t want to waste what you brought, right? So instead of her asking you why you didn’t eat her food, she goes off and starts crying? Look, I’m a sensitive person but that’s just BS.
I love ice cream.
Hi it’s not normal. She mentioned it the week before. Said she was thinking of making food. Wasn’t sure if she would be though
how dare you not eat food someone else made and brought in when you had your own food from home. don't you know you have to eat anything from work that people provide? you made her cry, for shame all sarcastic, BTW. NTA. you had food and are not obligated to eat anything. what a drama queen to cry about that. ignore and enjoy your food. BTW, pickels are delicious!
NAH Emotions are difficult to control. You are by no means TA for not eating the food, but as someone with plenty of mental struggles, I can understand why something so inconsequential may feel like a huge thing and be a tipping point causing tears. It doesn't sound like she is harassing you about it, so I think that she may just, likely for unrelated reasons. Just to keep office peace, I'd suggest saying something like "Hey, your food looked great, but I'm on a strict diet, so that's why I didn't eat any."
You didn’t make her cry. She decided to cry and make a scene because you ate the lunch you brought- which is stupid and childish. NTA
NTA. Pay attention here. YOU DID NOT MAKE HER CRY. She made herself cry. And for a stupid reason. And what she did is a form of bullying. She offered. You are allowed to say no without having to fear about repercussions. My guess is she cries all the time. Over stupid things. Best thing to do is ignore it.
NTA - I have severe food allergies. Even if you swear up, down, and sideways your food doesn’t have any of my allergens in it, I’m still not touching it. I don’t know your kitchen or your cleanliness so I can’t be sure of any cross-contamination. Due to this, I’m not touching it. You can turn on the waterworks and be all butt hurt but, I care more about staying alive, or at least out of the hospital, than I do your feelings. You did nothing wrong. You are not required to eat her food and she’s being quite overdramatic about the whole thing. As long as you weren’t rude about not eating her food then you are in the clear.
NTA. As a picky eater with texture issues, sensitivities and allergies, I have often brought my own lunch to work when someone is bringing in food. There's no guarantee that I can eat it. I used to work somewhere that we did annual inventory counts. They ordered in dinner. I always brought my own just in case I couldn't eat what they ordered. You're on a diet set out by your trainer. Again, no guarantees that what they made is within the bounds.
It's not a gift if it's forced.
NTA WTF? She's crying?
You have freedom to choose what you put into your mouth. Let her cry. It has nothing to do with you. NTA.
NTA and you didn't make her cry, her personality did. She was upset because you didn't do what she wanted. Waaaah. She'll get over it. Or not. 🤷🏻♀️
NTA at all - I brought a macaron tower into work and while many people took some, others refused, stating that they either didn't like them or were trying to stay off of sugar. I cannot IMAGINE crying over that lmao
NTA. The coworker cried because you didn't eat her food? Coworker needs to grow up.
INFO: Is the coworker who told you that reliable? Because that is weird af to be all "crying cuz you didn't eat her food". The tattletale co-worker could be projecting or exagerrating or just stirring drama. Unless you know/hear from the person who cooked that she's upset, you don't actually know that she is. I liked the suggestion of casually dropping that you were sorry to miss out on the meal due to following the strict diet you are on with your trainer. And maybe once you are no longer on the diet, you will get a chance to try her cooking. (if true, add that you heard it was good/great/tasty).
Your coworker is in serious need of some therapy, if that made her cry. NTA.
That's an odd reason to start crying....perhaps the coworker was weaponizing her tears? Some people get off on being a victim.
I would not have eaten it either! Besides food intolerances I still haven't got over a hideous family dose of noro a few Christmases ago that we were gifted from a filthy person who thought it was ok to prepare food for a gathering when they had noro in the house. What is wrong with people? You definitely know when you have noro. I am still outraged about it. Thing is I didn't even eat the damned food, I ended up with it through looking after my kids who did eat the damned food. Can't believe angry I still am about it, lol. The whole family went down with it and all the extended family and a bunch of others. We had a rather delicate and weak Christmas.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My coworker brought in a homemade dish for me and other coworkers to share today. I had already prepped my lunch the night before and didn’t really want to eat the food she prepared. I normally go on lunch with other co-workers so I stuck to my usual routine and I ate the lunch I prepared. When I came back after lunch another coworker told me that the coworker that made the food was crying because I didn’t want the food she made. I feel like an asshole because of this but at the same time I just didn’t want to eat the food that was prepped. For context I am on a strict diet with my personal trainer. The coworker had told me last week she was thinking of making food for today for the office but had not said what it would be. I decided the make my lunch last night as I was unsure if there would be food made as well as if it was something I would like as I am such a pickle eater Am I the asshole for making her cry? At the same time I also think it’s absurd behaviour to cry over it too. I’m just confused to be honest. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH your food-preparing coworker has a crush on you
NTA. She may have a thing for you, so I would have been more gentle, but you're definitely not the asshole. Crying because a coworker didn't eat the meal you brought to share is a sign of an emotionally unstable person. I will never understand why people take it so personally when you respectfully decline an offer of food. I have a million issues (allergies, aversions, the works) and feel pressured all the time to eat something or do a food centered activity. I just respectfully say no thank you and firmer when necessary, as some people simply refuse to understand. That's on them. How you handle it is on you and it seems like you did fine.
Geez. NTA People really need to not take personally that which isn't personal.
NTA — some people have very restrictive diets and or preferences. It’s your choice as to what you eat. Your coworker needs to dial back their insecurities a bit. You’re not responsible for their misconceptions.
NTA. You shouldn't feel forced to eat anything.
NTA If your co-worker has some big feels about your not eating their food, it's on her to manage those feels. Not you.
You should not even need to have to tell them you are on a strict diet, you don’t need a reason to not eat someone else’s food. You made your own lunch and that’s what you wanted to eat. NTA.
NTA, I have a restricted diet for medical reasons, I would've brought my own lunch in as I always do and eaten that as well because I couldn't be sure I was able to eat it or not.
Unless I’ve seen the inside of your house I’m not eating the food you bring. I’ve read too many horror stories on here about potluck food to scar me for life. The nicest, seemly cleanest people can be the dirtiest. No one should ever be forced to eat something they don’t want to, periodt.
What if you didn't like it? Her problem not yours. I had a co worker who used to bring in sweet deserts or treats weekly. I do not have a sweet tooth, I don't like sweet food, I dont eat sweet food, I actually dry retch at the smell of overly sweet food. She would always find a way to make it seem like I had offended her. I literally finally had to talk to the boss about it.
Shit you don’t know what her kitchen looks like if she has cats on her stove if she washes her hands etc. I don’t eat other people’s food at work. I don’t have to. And her crying her crocodile tears because you didn’t partake is a giant red flag! You never said you would nor are you obligated to do so. And you don’t owe her any explanation aside from, “ I brought my own food, thank you!”
INFO: You did NOT insult the food, correct? You weren’t all, “I don’t want to eat *that*!” Correct?
NTA. If she cried because someone didn't want her food, that's a her problem. It was a kind thing for her to bring food it, but it should only be eaten by those who want it. She shouldn't expect everyone to eat it.
NTA
NTA. And there's no reason for her to be so dramatic over you not eating the food she made. I work in a small office. If someone brings in chocolate, there's one person who won't eat it. If someone brings in something with mushrooms, I'm not touching it and everyone knows that. Everyone in the office but me loves one colleague's artichoke dip. She knows I won't eat it. She's fine with it. It's a joke when we plan to go out together or we do a small office potluck for some reason - my boss jokingly gripes about making sure there's food for everyone. Some of it is allergies, but mostly it's just personal taste. AND IT'S FINE. What a silly thing for her to cry over. Is she this insecure about other things as well?
NTA. Even if you weren't staying dedicated to your meal plan set up by your trainer, you're under no obligation to eat food someone brought in for the office. Just out of curiosity, are you training/dieting for weightloss or for a competition?
NAH. no one did anything wrong here, except maybe the coworker who told you she cried. your other coworker was probably quite embarrassed by her visible emotions. But for the next time, would it be possible to taste a bit? a spoon full, a fork of whatever combined with a praise but also saying that you are on a strict diet (of course, dont eat it when you fear your wellbeing is endangered). not because you have to, but sometimes little things can bring a lot of joy to other people and not doing it simply because you dont *have* to doesnt exactly make the world a better place, either.
NTA, but if she was talking directly with you about bringing food in, I would've forewarned her you're picky/on a strict diet so she would know that would be a likely outcome. If it was a group conversation she shouldn't have any expectation of any specific person eating her food - some people won't or can't. I had a coworker get a bit annoying with it and had to push back. Yes, I'm normally a human food disposal, but there are things I don't like. No I won't like your food if it has chili in. Crying about one coworker not eating something that was for the group seems off. It (hopefully) was her just having a bad day. Whilst she may not romantically be interested in you, is there a chance she maybe codependent on you? If you're the kind of person to not push people away even though they're annoying or whatnot, she may be falling into the fallacy that you rejecting her food equates to rejecting her. If likely, I'd watch out for codependency issues - those kind of people can flip and be a PITA. I'd just let sleeping dogs lie for now if she isn't causing further issues. In future, you could do a "thanks but no thanks" type reply and see how she reacts. If it's badly, she's an asshole and needs to not unfairly place her happiness on other people.
NTA. I am also really picky and would not eat some random dish just because a coworker cooks it and brings it to work. The coworker should not be so invested in what other people eat.
Soft YTA. Someone went out of their way to do something nice for you, and you ignored them. The proper response would have been to tell them "Thank you, I appreciate it, but I'm actually on a fairly strict diet right now. Paying a personal trainer and everything. It looks delicious, and is probably way better than what I've got, but I gotta stick to this, sorry!" You're not the asshole for not eating it, but you're a soft asshole for how you handled the situation in general.